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Sunday, 25 April 2010

BREASTS LIKE YOUNG ROES?!!!! *How to choose a wife :)*

So looking at the bible, you have got to admit that there is some powerful toasting/ wooing/ psyching(depending on how cynical you are)going on in the songs of solomon in the bible, but Chapt 7 verse 3 has me confused!
"Her boobs like young roes(gazelles?)"
how is that possible? even if it meant like that of young roes i dont still get it, do gazelles have breasts and are your wife's breats meant to look like them??
could someone please explain to me?

Even as you ponder on that, do enjoy the photographs of various diverse wedding ceremonies, all sourced from google images! :D




Meanwhile, I came across some wedding photos/ family potraits online and I just got all teary eyed. I love the idea of getting married, starting a family, overcoming challenges, laughing, praying, having children if God permits and just growing old together! The whole experience of loving someone and knowing for sure they loved you back. The idea of a united,solid family! Gosh sometimes I think it never happened to me because I soooooooo wanted it to happen ever since I turned 20!! You know the saying, once you want something bad enough, you just never get it??



Anywhoo I came across a cheeky joke and decided to share it here, [please enjoy this one. I definitely did]

Choosing a Wife
Ikenna wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates [Ifeoma, Nneka & Ngozi]. He gives each woman a present of N650,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.


Ifeoma does a total make over.
She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

Ikenna was impressed.





Nneka goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.




Ngozi invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the N650,000. She gives him back his N650,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, Ikenna was impressed.

He thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.

Then....


...he married the one with the biggest boobs.



Men are like that, i think, but breasts like gazelles? i no sabi oh

Have a great week.

8 comments:

Mamuje said...

Then he marries the one with the biggest boobs. No kidding. lol

LE DYNAMIQUE PROFESSEUR said...

breasts like gazelles? Huh?

Me too no sabi o. But who would marry all for the sake of how a lady's breast looks? lol

- LDP

Nutty J. said...

He marry's the one with the biggest boobs? na him criteria be that?

LWKM

As for solomon...no mind am, he sometimes got carried away in the whole love thing and tries to make us see how much he felt about what he says, hence the exaggeration.

eh but that is in my opinion sha oooo...maybe true true the babe had breasts like a gazelle.

Eyitemi Egwuenu said...

No. No. No. people, You guys are getting it all wrong. It all has to do with the way metaphors are used in different cultures.

Western culture which is largely influenced by Greek civilization tends to be more sensory and makes a DIRECT appeal to the senses while Middle Eastern cultures tend to be more SUBTLE in their metaphors and do not always draw very direct associations between the object they are addressing and the metaphor e.g.

Western culture concerning a lady' voice would say:

"YOU SING LIKE A BIRD" (immediately you can draw an association between your voice and a bird's singing)

Middle eastern culture regarding the same lady's voice might be:

"YOUR VOICE IS LIKE A MIGHTY ARMY"

(our western trained brains would not immediately get the association between a lady's voice and a mighty army because there is no direct sensory connection)

However, the reference to the mighty army talks about the MAJESTY of the army so in other words,

"HER VOICE IS MAJESTIC"

so when he says her breast are like two roes or fawns, a roe/fawn is a young deer, which talks about her breast being young, soft and tender - it does not refer to the size, rather it refers only to the youth and the softness (I can't believe I am saying all this but it has to be said)

Notice also that in the same chapter, he referred to her

"neck like an ivory tower",

"her nose like the tower of Lebanon which looks to Damascus"

and in chapter 4 said

"her hair like a flock of goats going down from mount Gilead"

"her teeth like a flock of shorn sheep.. come from the washing"

Again to our western-sensitized mind, these are rather ambiguous metaphors but you must learn to be more subtle;

"her teeth like newly washed shorn sheep" has nothing to do with the shape or size of the sheep but that the "sheep is clean and white" so in order words, her teeth is "white and beautiful"

He is not saying that she has the hair/head of a goat rather:

Have you ever seen a herd of galloping goats descending from a hill? If they are really close together, they look like a large glossy sheen of black. So, "her hair is long, dark and glossy"

I hope I have been of some help.

Mena UkodoisReady said...

Yes you have! Though I wrote this in a light hearted manner, I was genuinely perplexed as to the meaning of that verse.

Actually posted it on my facebook, and after 59 relies, someone FINALLY gave the same intepretation as you just did. Thanks :)

'Mena

roundsquare said...

Eyitemi is right. the song of solomon is very allegorical in nature. refers to Christ and His bride, the church. it's not literal(it doesn't relate to any historic event and two, solomon's marriage was at least twenty years before the song was written)

This maid almost perfect for Solomon except one little problem, she's quite young. Solomon needs a heir, but his bride is still young and not yet ready to become a mother. So he has to wait patiently (verse 8).

there was other waits in the song, once when the maid sent him away, now he has to wait eagerly for her to 'ripen' and become a mother.

It's allegorical of how God is very patient with us. He wants us to mature and finally be perfect for Him

the image of breasts is repeated in 7-9th verse, now compared to fruit of a tree, very small before it is ripe. But the fruit develops quickly. It becomes much bigger.

Tells us the maid was not yet ready to be a mother. Her breasts were not yet ready to feed a baby. But Solomon was confident that they would not have to wait long.

HoneyDame said...

Lmao @ Eyitemiz comment.....makes sense buh funny still...

BigChief said...

My kind of blog post! Plenty of breasts images too!!!