Saturday, 1 May 2010
Hello!! Just to quickly say, anyone is free to leave a comment, whatever it may be. IT IS all about freedom of speech right?
I would like to hear your views, that is, if you are comfortable with the topic. I would like to hear from some people from the angle of the medical sciences, and for others, from the angle of faith, for even more, its because I know they are matured, intelligent adults that can hold a calm discussion:). I completely understand if you would rather just read and assimilate * I do that too, :) *
So I was chatting lightly with my friends on my facebook account about a verse in the bible (Songs of Solomon:Chapt 7 verse 3), http://efemenaoreoluwa.blogspot.com/2010/04/breasts-like-young-roes-how-to-choose.html , when Yerima gate happened.
The incident had a major impact on me, and I eventually went back to the note feeling queasy, wandering if the verses referred to a tweenager? (11years-13years) because of the type of words used and its salient meaning.
Well as these things tend to happen, the conversation was turned to a joke of why older women like me, feel jealous or threatened when a much younger version is brought in. Now this was the third person I had come across that day, hinting at jealousy being the emotion that best explained the disgust, Nigerian women expressed online about Yerima's new bride.
It was said in a light hearted manner, but I dont want to take any chances. I hope to provoke empathy from the perspective of the child by reproducing an article which simply describes one ailment she (child) will go through.
Again the child is not feeling the same emotions as the man. She is most likely to be small, and thin which might overemphasise the man as tall, and fat and very scary when naked!
Forbidden fruit may be forbidden for a reason, what looks like immense pleasure to a man, causing him to wax lyrical lines:
"... this issue of pedophile stuff is beginning to look like market space competition. Older ladies are threatened that...
Honestly, there's a real threat out here. The difference between a new and an old battle weary booty is just...
The novelty of doing it anew, re-inventing intimacy, the adventure of bridling a new horse...
Fresh, supple, nimble... , extremely responsive body, brimming with oestrogen...
An adventure, the old papa, the tour guide, new surprises all the way, sensations never known to exist being unraveled, and the pleasure of being the privileged witness and stimulator...
When King David became very old, they found for him a young virgin to keep him warm...
Me oftimes weesh me 2 hav surch a prevelej!
is hell fire to a GIRL. I havent slept a wink because I wanted to gather as much information including how to help victims. Only to come across the most shocking comments so far congratulating Yerima for this act
i.e a. "Nafiu Ibrahim: your islamic religion accept it (its sunna) and u ar following your religion not senators. go ahead and enjoy your honey moon. when i am ready i will even marry 9 years old"
" b. Shamsuddeen Salisu Are Nigerians really practicing Islam? wel,Yerima has no cause to be blame because religion wise its allowed and there's nothing wrong in what he has done!! More Grease to your elbows Yerima !The first sign of puberty is usually a surge of growth: you become taller; your breasts develop; hair begins to grow in the pubic area and under the arms. This may start from 10 years to 14 years - even earlier for some...
My heart bleeds.. To continue, I believe that there is nothing wrong with a little education. That moment of 'pleasure' may spell death for the CHILD (NOT WOMAN). I present to you a very simple description of the condition we call VVF. A case that one of his wives, Dr Mrs Yerima, a medical doctor, will no doubt know about, maybe she has not taken her hippocrates oath? I digress *(Blame no sleep :) * Without further ado, this is the article on VVF.
Vesico-vaginal-fistula is a condition which results from prolonged obstructed labour in childbirth.
In the developed world, proper ante-natal and obstetric care, ensuring safe delivery of the baby and the well being of the mother, is largely available. The last dedicated fistula hospital in the Western world, in New York, closed in 1895.
However, in the developing world, such necessities are almost nonexistent or too expensive for the vast majority.
When the mother is small; her body not yet fully developed either through malnutrition or being young in years, the baby can be too big to be safely born.
She then suffers a long, drawn-out labour, (often four or more days), and complications occur. It is not uncommon for family members to press down on the mother’s swollen tummy to try to get the baby out.
In such cases, even if the mother survives, the baby certainly does not, having had its head crushed in the birth canal for so long.
This is how a hole or a ‘fistula’ can be created in the birth canal.
The head of the baby is crushed against the pelvic bone, so the tissue in between gets squashed. Lack of blood to this portion of tissue over such a long time results in it dying and rotting away, therefore forming a permanent hole between the vagina and the bladder.
Consequently, it is through this hole that urine leaks continually from then on.
It is common for a hole to develop between the vagina and the bowel as well, so some women have their faeces to add to the mix, leaking continually from their bodies.
Many lose the ability to walk properly, or at all, because the pressure of the baby’s head also causes nerve damage, some of which is irrecoverable.
What is life like for these women and girls?
Many think that if they drink less they will leak less, but this just leads to dehydration and susceptibility to infections, both of which can lead to death.
The smell alone causes husbands and families to reject them, so they live as outcasts in society, some as young as 10 years old.
Many are considered ‘unclean’ and sometimes a ‘jinx’.
The sort of job a girl with fistula problems could hope for is one of working alone, cracking rocks in the hot sun, to sell in order to survive.
Those who are within reach of a medical facility, may still have to work sometimes for years to save enough money for an operation. When, and if, they raise enough, it is probable they have to join a long waiting list at their nearest hospital.
Depending on the facility to which they go for help, the advice they receive can be disastrously misguided.
Many can’t live with this ‘life sentence’ and hundreds take their own lives..!
More concepts defined
some people cannot distinguish between the emotions of jealousy and just plain revulsion of paedophilia, triggered by maternal instinct...So I went to the dictionary online to seek definition of the main concepts as well as show why revulsion of this act, has nothing to do with jealousy
"Jealousy" is an emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, such as a relationship, friendship, or love.
Why would a woman online be overcome by feelings of insecurity over Yerima's 'bride'?
Then what do I gain from the 'honourable' senator that I am worried about loosing? Is it a relationship or is it Love?
Paedophile: n. an obsession with children as sex objects.
an adult who is sexually attracted to children
Pedophilia (or paedophilia) is a psychological disorder in which an adult or older adolescent experiences a sexual preference for prepubescent children. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), pedophilia is specified as a form of paraphilia in which a person either has intense sexual urges towards children, and experiences recurrent sexual urges towards and fantasies about children that they have either acted on, or cause distress or interpersonal difficulty.
"Personality traits of paedophiles"
Studying child sex offenders, a review of qualitative research studies published between 1982 and 2001 concluded that pedophiles use cognitive distortions to meet personal needs, justifying abuse by making excuses, redefining their actions as love and mutuality, and exploiting the power imbalance inherent in all adult-child relationships. Other cognitive distortions include the idea of "children as sexual beings," "uncontrollability of sexuality," and "sexual entitlement-bias."
A behavioral analysis report by the FBI states that a "high percentage of acquaintance child molesters are preferential sex offenders who have a true sexual preference for children (i.e., pedophiles)."
A review article in the British Journal of Psychiatry notes the overlap between extrafamilial and intrafamilial offenders. One study found that around half of the fathers and stepfathers in its sample who were referred for committing extrafamilial abuse had also been abusing their own children.
As noted by Abel, Mittleman, and Becker (1985) and Ward et al. (1995), there are generally large distinctions between the two types of offenders' characteristics. Situational offenders tend to offend at times of stress; have a later onset of offending; have fewer, often familial victims; and have a general preference for adult partners. Pedophilic offenders, however, often start offending at an early age; often have a large number of victims who are frequently extrafamilial; are more inwardly driven to offend; and have values or beliefs that strongly support an offense lifestyle. Research suggests that incest offenders recidivate at approximately half the rate of extrafamilial child molesters, and one study estimated that by the time of entry to treatment, nonincestuous pedophiles who molest boys had committed an average of 282 offenses against 150 victims.
Hopefully by this point, people are better able to understand the revulsion of most women and men (barring a few) against the act of a 50year old man sexually assaulting a 13 year old girl
Thanks for reading up to this point.
Rejoinder:Due mainly to public outrage (i.e Intense pressure from the media and from people like you and me :) Yerima's bride is now officially back with her parents in Egypt.
It is refreshing to note that the Egyptian government are now actively taking a very keen interest in the case...so much so that they have instructed the Girl to go back to her school in Egypt..