Wednesday, 23 June 2010
THIS IS FOR THE MARRIED CHRISTIAN *mostly Naija* WOMEN
It’s another tough one to be handled on women. I expect so many negative reactions from those who always appear to be what they are not; like I always say, the holier-than-thou attitude.
Religion is good. Religion they say is the opium of the masses. Religion has achieved a lot in that it has helped humans watch their lives and how to deal with fellow humans. Religion has brought peace as well as crisis.
But like I always tell people, being too religious is totally different from being spiritual. Being religious does not mean being righteous and godly. That is why I pity people who believe that having different religious titles is the only gateway to heaven. You can be the chief elder or chief deaconess in a church, you can be the Archbishop of Christianity, and you can be the greatest Imam alive. All these are just titles brought into existence by religion.
Yes, it is good to appreciate the contributions of people towards religion, but that doesn’t make them the best. I have seen Imams taking peoples wives from them. I have seen Archbishops killing and sleeping with members of their congregation. In fact, I have come to realise that so many religious leaders are in no way better than us, the led.
Why did I decide to do an article on the woman and religion? It is well known that women are very emotional beings. God has special love for women. Women were created with a very caring nature. This has made it possible for the wolves in form of church leaders to take advantage of women.
Because as women, we have the responsibility of carrying the burden of our families. I told a friend sometime last week that when it comes to choices as to the sex of the baby, I would pray for a woman. Yes, our culture is one that leaves men unfulfilled without a male child. But, I have come to realise that women actually grow to become the burden bearers of the family.
Women are so much after religion. I wonder every Wednesday when I pass through Omole Estate and see the mammoth crowd attending a particular church programme. A greater number of this crowd is women. There is nothing wrong in a woman being too religious. In fact, my children sometimes crack jokes about my level of commitment to the church. It is better serving God than jumping from one party to the other.
Don’t get me wrong. I am not trying to discourage you from being committed to your church, but there should always be a limit to everything. We should never allow anything in this life take the place of our homes. This is why we have to become more organised and have things well planned.
Most times when I see men moving from one church to the other, I keep wondering why. But after some questions, I realised that the woman is the one taking him from one church to the other. A lot of women are confused. I see them every Wednesday run to that particular church for prayers. Yes, the pastor is a wonderful man who preaches against so many atrocities. But when you see these women going in there, you can’t help wondering what they are after. So many of them go in there to pray against another person’s home. So many of them go there to pray before embarking on a trip as drug couriers. Tell me, who is deceiving who?
Women, by nature are very gullible. It is this gullible nature that keeps them unsatisfied and unsettled in a particular church. What are we running after? Can’t we sit in our houses sometimes, pray and still have them answered? Why is it that women have turned these pastors into super humans? Why are there no longer secrets between couples?
You may be saying Amara doesn’t understand what I am passing through. I really do understand. In fact, I have been through tougher things in life. But I have always believed one thing, time is a great healer. Yes, it is good to pray. I don’t joke with my prayer time. But I can tell you that there are things and issues that come naturally and need time to be sorted out.
I was invited to a church early this year as one of the speakers during their women’s conference. I said something that was mind-boggling. I told their pastors to begin to tell their members the truth. How can a woman waiting for the fruit of the womb gain so much weight that every part of her is covered with fat? I called one of them up and bluntly told her to stop asking for the fruit of the womb and first of all do something about her weight. This woman was weighing about 130kg. I told her it is very risky for her to take in that way.
I thank God she heeded my advice because the next thing would have been for her to start moving from church to church being deceived by the gullible pastors who will tell her it is her mother-in-law who doesn’t want her to have a baby. A woman goes to pastor complaining about the husband’s life of infidelity. I know men; a good number of them are like dogs. But there are times a woman pushes the man into it.
How can a man feel comfortable when he comes into his home and have everywhere smelling with the kids naked? How can a man be happy with a woman who cannot give him good food to eat? What on earth will make a man stick with a woman who cannot take proper care of herself? The man goes out there and sees a lot of ladies, different shapes and sizes. He then comes to his house to see his wife with wrapper and scarf on her hair. Girl, it is time you let the pastors be and start conducting deliverance on yourself.
Those pastors will not tell you the truth because they want you to keep coming and contributing offering money for their family. It is sad but I must say this. So many women have been seduced by these demonic men and women into having sex with them.
I know of a particular church now around Ojodu where people go to be washed by the pastor. I don’t know if that pastor’s hands has suddenly become the blood of Jesus which we Christians believe has the power to cleanse us.
How can any man of God ask women to bring certain things for their cleansing? I don’t always blame those men; I blame the foolish women who go after them. You run from one place to the other looking for solutions to problems that have nothing to do with the spiritual. Why would any reasonable woman go to another man for a bath? We keep reading of people given birth to strange babies. Why won’t there be such stories when you move from one prayer house to the other because of a child. They end up giving birth to one that will cause you pain for life.
Some women have indirectly become the pastor’s second wife. You leave your house early in the morning while others are on their way to work, you head to the church. You stay there from morning till evening. You may not agree with me, but the truth is that so many pastors have turned their members into slaves and zombies.
His wife is out there doing her business. His children are all doing well in school. He is in his own office attending to his business. But he keeps telling you to be very committed in the church. Some women have messed up the lives of their children, making them see every other thing as useless. They no longer go to school because they have to pray for the church.
I recently heard of a pastor somewhere around Ajao Estate. A lady who left his church came crying to me. This pastor has succeeded in tearing a wonderful family apart. The mother and all her children now live in the church, forfeiting their business. The son who is a graduate of computer science now works as the driver to the pastor’s wife and at the end of every month, he gets just N7,000.
I see women carrying handbags and bible all over the place for their mummy G.O. I am not against it because honour should be given to whom it is due. But I want you to always have this in mind. Those mummies have chosen that as their career in life. You are just wasting away thinking you are living. What are you going to tell generations after you? That you lived just to carry handbag for your pastor’s wife. If you have chosen that as your job, fine, but whatever you do full time should add some value to your life.
My fellow women, we are the backbone of our families and the nation at large. It is right, very right to pray and be a committed church goer. But please, let us know when and where to stop. You don’t need all those prayer houses. You don’t have to allow anybody manipulate your life. Stop thinking your husband is a devil when he tries to caution you.
I have heard of women stealing from their husbands all because they have to pay their vows in the church. There is no reward for such offering. It will rather bring curses upon you. I know of a particular women’s fellowship where it is all about competing to become the richest member. Most of these women are housewives but when it comes to raising money, they go out of their way to lie to their husbands. Some of them sleep with other men because they have to meet up with their friends.
Some women put their husbands under pressure when it comes to making pledges in the church. Please, let that man be. Most times those pastors claim God told them that there are people who will give N1million. But the truth is that God did not tell them anything. Stop falling prey to their antics and manipulations. Give because you want to give, not because someone is making you his zombie.
Ladies, stay away from any church or gathering that makes you struggle to try to become what you are not.