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Thursday, 16 September 2010

Yes, I am her dad, so young man, you want to date my daughter? fill in this application...

I found this very hilarious joke online. Please enjoy. Just for laughs please, cant handle any court cases :))

Yes, I am her dad, so young man, you want to date my daughter? fill in this application...



Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your physician

Do you have one male and one female parent? ____
If "No", explain:



Number of years your parents have been married: ____
Any brothers or sisters? ____
Are they normal? ____


Do you own or have access to a van? ____
A truck with oversize tires? ____
A waterbed? ____


Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring? ____


Do you have a tattoo? ____

If you have answered YES to #3, #4 or #5, discontinue application and leave immediately.


In fifty words or less, what does Late mean to you?





In fifty words or less, what does Don't touch my daughter mean to you?





In fifty words or less, what does Abstinence mean to you?





In fifty words or less, what does Real Pain mean to you?





Church/Temple you attend: ____________________________

How often do you attend: ____________________________


When would be the best time to interview your mother, father and priest/rabbi? ____________________________



Please fill in the blanks:


If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded would be my ____________________________


If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would be my ____________________________


A woman's place is in the ____________________________


The one thing I hope this application doesn't ask is ____________________________


When I meet a girl, the one thing I always notice about her first is ____________________________

Note: If answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue and leave premises - keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised





What do you want to be if you grow up?





I swear that all the above information is correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, bodily harm, dismemberment, torture or mental abuse.
Signature of applicant _________________________________

Signature of father _____________________________________

Signature of mother ____________________________________

Signature of priest/rabbi ___________________________________

Signature of State Representative _________________________



Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow 4-6 years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if approved. If denied, please never apply again. Don't call me, I'll call you

Signed;
Her Dad

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5 comments:

iphyigbogurl said...

hahahaha...
sounds like something my dad will think of but of course, never do

rayo said...

omg, dat girl will neva get husband at this rate. lol

Annie (Lady M) x said...

This questionnaire is a bloody brilliant idea to prevent potential suitors from making a move.... Ha ha (wicked parental laugh)!!

The nitty-gritty tales of a housewife said...

am coughing o!....too much laugh...shiooo!....i don't blame the father, too many weirdos & chop & clean mouth guys o!...

Mena UkodoisReady said...

LOOOOOL

thanks everyone. :)