Saturday, 11 June 2011
S*C*A*N*D*A*L IN BLOGSVILLE (Treating latest Nigerianslangs) LOL
I sincerely appreciate everyone who follows this blog.
NEWBIES: I usually follow new members immediately but just in case I didnt please leave a comment with a link to your blog and I will follow as soon as I log in. Also newbies if you are looking for a loyal dedicated network of people to follow your blog, then visit the names I highlighted in this blog, read their awesome blogs and if as impressed as I am, follow and interact with them. They will do the same to you and You wont regret it. :-)
Regular Followers: Helllloooow! How are you doing?? Absolutely fine I hope! *Ahem* *blushing* my lovely co-bloggers,*seriously blushing* you might have noticed that I dont always comment on my own post after your comments, please be patient with a fat girl (am a very lazy last minute person whose big derriere (ikebe)doesnot allow for me work as efficiently as I used to... and no I dont type with my ass :P) but each time you comment, I hope you notice that I immediately go to your latest round of blogs,(if any) read them and share my thoughts?? Mwah!
Eitherway I am very grateful for each and every interaction, its a labour of love having to read so many stories and contributing one's thoughts to each blog as we try to encourage each other. So this piece is in honor of my tight-knit network of bloggers who come rain or shine or very dry stories still take out time to encourage me to keep posting. In this particular blog I mentioned a lot of you and placed links to your blogs but if perchance your names were left out its because I dont know how well you take certain jokes. You see *sprinkling holy water* my jokes can be dirty so I used those who I am certain do not take themselves too seriously and are as crazy, humorous and funloving as I am. I hope you understand? God bless you all very much
To the business of the day...*polishing halo*...So I found this piece from a really really old facebook group, loved it and decided to share it here..Enjoy
Treating latest slangs-
Okay i have a cousin in university who seems to enjoy 'moonlighting' at my place most weekends (personally it works for me, who else to send on errands) so i get to learn all sorts of new slangs each week..
Let me give you a rundown on the latest jibe in Nigeria .. emmmm, now i would be very glad if most people do not beef me for "educating them"
A. Couple yourself
This commonly used to advice a person when they make a serious mistake ala shit for church or begins to misbehave or embarrass their friends in public,
Example: Ibhade's underwear is showing, I would say Ibhade, couple yourself or say Ebz's VPL is too obvious I would ask her to couple herself or say Mamuje, gets drunk at a party and falls over numerous times, i would walk up to her and say babe “couple yourself”
Or say Barack Obama takes me out on our dream date and he cant get enough of me and keeps trying to drag me into the toilet to “arrange" me i would say to him “President of the united states, kindly couple yourself”
Arrange is used to describe doing things unconventionally and most times illegally but getting exceptional results
Like lets say at KitKat's birthhday, she couldn’t afford champagne at the club, so muse origins Adiya sneaks drinks into the club via her handbag ...she would have arranged or say she takes Oke, 9jafoodie, Gbemisoke, Musco, Efua,prism, real world, thinkaboutit naturalnigerian,Chizy, wildboy, Ibhade, Theatrenotes, Ginger, Myne, Mamuje, NuttyJay, me and other friends clubbing, but cant pay the full gate fee, so she bribes the bouncers to get in... she would be said to have arranged, but if shes caught and ends up embarrassing we bloggers we would be miffed and decide to "treat her fuckup"
C. Treat her Fuck up"
treating mails and memos is a common daily task which most of us have become accustomed to but hate, because it takes too much time, however it is used in a slightly different manner in 'youth speak' example... me having a typographical error in my response to a thread/blog and a group of oversabi (overzealous) anonymous's starts correcting me, then I decide to respond to the anons and extract my pound of flesh...hence i have treated their fuck up!
or say we ask Theatrenotes to use our "last card" to buy drinks and he spends it on credits to call a chic, so when he gets back we will generally "" brush him" hence we have treated his fuckup.
brushing involves beating the crap out of someone for doing anything deemed wrong.
say Theatrenotes goes to movida but in the name of 'looking for an inspiration for his next blog' he ends up watching a guy wank on a street light, i would suggest we "brush him" instead of "treating his fuckup" if he was the guy wanking then we would "treat his fuckup".
E: shine the congo
shining the congo should not be misconstrued to a person literarily trying to cleaning/waxing... the .. emmm i'm stuck here.. well its a topic i believe the gbedu master aka specialist currently taking back door master class can treat, i suggest Theatrenotes manages this ..
F: last card
last card is normally used for fall back cash, money that should normally be saved for rainy or somewhat dry days...
example lilyjohnson is broke but wants to go clubbing, she gets to a club and uses her last card to enter a club and couldn't buy booze.., she should have "shined his eye"
G: shine your eye
shine your eye means being sharp, smart, emm street wise, native intelligence..etc, say finding ways to sort out problems without anyone else figuring it out
A-naija-great and Iphyigbogirl are going to a9jagr8's place by LAMATA BRT but cant afford to pay for two seats, so iphy laps a9jagr8..hence she has shined her eye, or iphy wants to buy spirits at a much lower cost, she goes to apongbon and buys a bottle of Henessy for 1000 naira, however the shop owner gives her a well sealed bottle of henessy which actually contains squadron, and iphy falls for it, this means she did not shine her eye, and when eventually she pours Myne a drink at home and they realise its fake she would be ashamed and could be said to have "fall her hand"
H. Fall your hand
fall your hand means to disgrace someone or embarass some one,
example.. Surprise is "scoping" Oloriwith a wonderful gift and telling her about how much she means to him and he would sell himsef to get her whatever she wants, (meanwhile he asked a guy at ojuelegba to "arrange" it), then Henry walks in and says "" the tout you asked to bring the stolen goods is waiting outside to be paid".. Henry has fallen Surprise's hand.
I: Market fall press You
a nice correct chic like Ginger needs a hot date or a company ball and she starts looking for a date, unfortunately things dont work out so she has to go with Theatrenotes,(obviously not even her last choice or fall back plan) it means market don fall press her
Scoping can be used to describe when a guy or girl is seriously admiring someone they are interested in say at an event, and can also be used to catch the attention of an admirer or hook up with someone.
example.. NuttyJ at a bar and she sees DynamiqueProf walk in and starts smiling and strutting her stuff to impress him, she will be trying to "scope" him, and when that doesnt work she will buy him a drink ... she would be trying to scope him..
K. Cut out...
it means to escape being caught by people, when you have done something wrong
Rustygeek finally convinces WiseSage to hook up and while they are french kissing in Wisesage's flat her body builder boyfriend comes unexpectdly... rustygeek will jump out the window and would be said to have cut out...
or Theatrenotes and this lady decide to have sex and she wants to stay on top... it will be wise of him to cut out...
there are lots of other latest slangs , but its 2.00am on a sunday and, i have been up since 12 am on blospot and i believe this blog will lead to an early grave for me, so it will be wise to cut out now...before people read this and try to treat my fuck up, arrange me for scoping and brush me...:-P
Have a great great week :)*Legs it!* (runs 440)
p.s: *comes back to add*
Am travelling to Nigeria this month so might be even more erratic than usual. But I will try and keep it up! xxxx (runs away again)