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Tuesday 28 June 2011

WHAT EXACTLY IS GOING ON WITH DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?? part 2

THIS IS A TRUE LIFE STORY! I AM GUTTED. Wrote about this here and here


I just got this from facebook and was so moved I had to publish it here.

The lady in this photo is allegedly called Titi who allegedly used to work at Skye bank VI branch. She was allegedly stabbed to death on June 24th by the man beside her. They were married for 2 years and had a child. I am still awaiting for more corrobarative evidence to the event.

I wrote about domestic violence over here. and will not stop writing about it. Especially in barbaric Africa where some defend the indefensible by somehow blaming the DEAD victim of not being submissive enough. The same portion that states that a woman should submit to her huband also states that men should love their wife as christ love the church enough to die for it. But that would be forgotten . Whats worse in Nigeria, (and if story is true) the psycopath will go scot free, set free by fellow murderers and their sympathizers.

In my opinion This case further supports the argument in favour of the death penalty he took a life and should loose his. I am so angry! But will cool down now till I get more details!!!!

20 comments:

Okeoghene said...

My dear, please cool down now o. It is such a pity that our Nigerian society condones domestic violence, always saying it is the woman's fault and the woman should be the one to go and beg her husband or that line i hate so much to hear" you know he is a man". Does being a man mean that you shouldnt have self control? Does being a man mean that you have every right to turn your woman to a punching bag? Let me stop here, before I turn it to a post.

Unknown said...

This is sad. Why on earth did he have to kill such a beautiful young woman? Don't know what the world is turning into. We have to stand up against domestic violence of all kinds.

Paper Boy said...

Concur with your displeasure, but "Barbaric Africa" really!

Anonymous said...

whether the wife was wrong or not, women were created to please the husband, and in that women were born weaker than men. Women are supposed to be understood becase they are the image of Men and Man is the true image of God. Therefore Man is supposed to be wiser in taking action because he is the true image of God. Iam very sorry for the loss of the mother to a young one. As her soul rest in peace, let the peace of the murder be incomplete till they meet again in judgment.Amen

Anonymous said...

Thanks all. Blogged this in sheer anger at the injustice. Ppl have sent word to my bb that its all true. WORSE THING is there is no justice. Blaq mind hence my saying barbaric africa. At leatst in part 1 all the men are in jail. In nigeria ppl actually blame a woman, even a dead one at that that its sinmething she did. While the pscycopath is left to go free. Where is the justice the consequence. Tell me why woint he do it again. Kai Ishouldnt even be on bloggers as I can neither blog properly over here or even sign in propey (it keeps signing me on as an anonymoous ) but this one really made me angry. NOTHING HAPPENS TO THE FEW NIGERIAN MEN THAT KILlS THEIR WIVES. The society allows,ignores,puts up with it. Hence the word barbaric africa. This lady will never hold her child again! The death penalty nakes sense here o! Thanks again for your comments I sincereply appreciate. Xxxxx

Anonymous said...

Thanks all. Blogged this in sheer anger at the injustice. Ppl have sent word to my bb that its all true. WORSE THING is there is no justice. Blaq mind hence my saying barbaric africa. At leatst in part 1 all the men are in jail. In nigeria ppl actually blame a woman, even a dead one at that that its sinmething she did. While the pscycopath is left to go free. Where is the justice the consequence. Tell me why woint he do it again. Kai Ishouldnt even be on bloggers as I can neither blog properly over here or even sign in properly (it keeps signing me on as an anonymoous ) but this one really made me angry. NOTHING HAPPENS TO THE FEW NIGERIAN MEN THAT KILlS THEIR WIVES. The society allows,ignores,puts up with it. Hence the word barbaric africa. This lady will never hold her child again! The death penalty nakes sense here o! Thanks again for your comments I sincerely appreciate. Xxxx. I am MEnaUKodoisready o. Not an anonymous at all. Never use that option but bloggers didn't let me sign in. Its me though. :D xxxx

Mena UkodoisReady said...

Thanks ph everyone. I am not meant to be here cus the network is wonky. I am using my mobile so excuse the typos..I AM JUST SO ANGRY

@Blaq Man: I said barbaric because nothing much will happen to a man just because he is a man. Alreay blames are placed on the dead lady even though she is dead and worse was stabbed even while CARRYING a child. Some cultures dont treat their ANIMALS that way, let alone a 'dearly beloved wife' so please understand where i am coming from..:)

This is going round BB IM network

people, this is so true. I just confirmed from a friend that works in skye bank. She was also pregnant as of the day of her death. She started her leave that same fri she was killed. Tope. MEN AND WOMEN Take note: I didn't sy... married people oh! Even though u should listen up the hardest, and I'm talking mostly to the women. Now, marriage is not a do or die affair except for those who do not attach value to their lives.
The couple u see up on my profile got married only 2 yrs ago. Titi worked at the Skye bank lounge in vi where she was known. At this very moment she is dead. She was stabbed to death on friday 24th June by the beast next to her that she called a husband in such a way that it seemed like an episode of crime and investigation, who after stabbing her all over and cutting her breast, leaves the bent knife in her neck, locks her up in the house and takes off. (Although now he is in police custody)....*sigh* ..:( its a shame that a lot of the time those we let into our lives and homes as our guide and protector are those we need protection from.
This essay s for the benefit of the ignorant. And most importantly for the benefit of THOSE WOMEN FACING DOMESTIC ABUSE on a daily basis all in the name of love, security, "my children", social status and appearance, peer pressure, family pressure..:>, I SAY GROW A SPINE OR BREAK ONE, for life will definitely go on when u r gone. :( Titi was warned by her parents till the very last minute but she didn't listen.
---------------Pass on this message as we say NO to violence of any kind.See More

Omoregee said...

Read this on Fb too.....very sad....esp since we hear her father asked her to leave the man's house but she refused. I am very pained.

God doesn't like divorce n our society frowns at it but when there is abuse of any form......verbal, physical or emotional.....some time out is required! Perhaps not divorce but separation.....it is safer to pray from a distance where slapping is impossible. NO man has a right to abuse his spouse.....marriage is not a do or die affair!

In discussing this incidence, some who know the guy say they are shocked cos its unlike him....apparently, he lost his job 2 years ago n the late wife has been the breadwinner of the home.
Eh, love is not blind oh....when it starts to get abusive, it is no more love.....love does not hurt or do evil! Whether he had violence traits or developed it overnight......lady, handle u n ur child's safety first before u consider if he can be delivered.
There is no, I repeat absolutely NO excuse for a man to beat up his wife.

Anonymous said...

Arowolo Akolade Lukman is the guy'S name
His Facebook name is
Arowolo Akolade L.
U can check his page out and see that the devil is in human form.
He is on face book and his wall is filled with scriptures. He is a young guy and he killed his... wife and mutilated her body parts, they have a 3years Old daughter together. He was not working and his wife paid for the rent as she worked with Skye Bank in Ikoyi..
He has now been found as his family were hiding him. Justice must be done. He needs to be hanged.
Ladies if a man ever slaps u, please run, a real man never ever hits his wife or a woman.
Apparently he is known to be a woman beater, as he beats her regularly and he is a chronic womanizer.
Am sure a lot of the time she must have been begged and advised by her family members, friends or her hubby's family to be patience
Women a man who is violent never changes. Please run as fast as u can and only watch or read these.. WE MUST CONDEMN VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMENSee More

Janyl Benyl said...

Sad! Just so sad!!!

Mena UkodoisReady said...

MORE DETAILS
"They got married in nov 2008. I hear they've bin having issues. He lost his job abt 2yrs ago. She had to be splitting her salary to sustain him. I hear he beats her, bt she did not tell her pple. She however confided in one of... our colleagues. She got home one day and saw that he had sold her car. Wen she confronted him, he said he needed money. It caused a serious issue that made her leave d house. Her father told her not to go back bt she refused. On friday lst week she started her leave and told her pple she will b coming for d weekend cos her father stays in ifako while she stays in isolo with her husband. She even paid d rent in isolo - 1.3m recently. They didn't hear frm her again that evn. Then they tried calling bt she didn't pick. Her husband calls bk to say they had a small misunderstanding dat has bin sorted out. They asked to speak with her, bt he said she ws doing something and will call bk in 2mins. They didn't hear frm them again. The neighbours however saw d husband jump thru d window with blood stains and drove off; bt since there was no scream or quarrel, they tot all ws well. It ws d nxt day they discovered her body. He even left d knife in her neck. She was stabbed severally in d face and chest, close to d heart. Horrific."

if this is loving marrigae I want no part of it

Gbemisoke said...

Really sad....

DiDi said...

This is SAD.

Unknown said...

OMG!! I heard about this! I am sooo speechless :o

Adiya
The Corner Shop

tracy said...

there is physical, verbal and mental abuse going on all around us. d naija situation is peculiar cos the society permits it in the guise of " its a man's world" its a really sad stuation cos marriage is to be enjoyed and not endured. i have always maintained that life is a a 2 way street. if a man cannot love his wife as he loves himself, what then is the point of staying in the marriage? a lot of women hang in there cos of the kids and cos the reality of being a single parent esp in a country where the welfare system is crap... i maintain however that this is a crazy fear of the unknown, evidence of false things appearing real. there has only been one incidence of violence in my life and it can never happen again... the other party will never do it to another woman, cos i made sure he paid for it with the skin off his nose... we need to take a stand against violence of any sort... be advised however that verbal and mental violence go hand in hand cos thet have the combined effect of making a person feel less deserving of life and of themselves... we must speak out oh... na person wey dey alive dey train im pickin oh... what will become of this lady's daughter now????

Anonymous said...

Just read about this story....am shocked...can't co-ordinate my words now...gosh!....*sighs!

Anonymous said...

Who ever that wrote this "Women are supposed to be understood becase they are the image of Men and Man is the true image of God. Therefore Man is supposed to be wiser in taking action because he is the true image of God" is truly a fool. the same mentality as the killer and most likely a primitive Nigerian. just climb that coconut tree and stay there. What can you possibly know about God? nor read? you have proved your self go back to the animals.

Anonymous said...

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zooma said...

Really I am against a man beating his wife for ANY reason but seriously why do parents beat their children?is it simply because they want to correct them?if dat is yes! Then why don't they verbally tell them what they have done wrong and warn them never to do it again.dat should end it abi? But no...wait for a while.the same child dat he corrected verbally and even petted after the correction goes ahead and does the same thing.The parent loses it and flogs the child.
How does it relate to wives getting abused.A man is basically a male and share one common character trait.ego.(This applies even in the animal kingdom)that's how God made us. men are constantly in a war to shield and protect their ego. for a man,disrespect is like a bruise to his ego. taking away his ego is akin to emasculation. Any wife that is wise to recognize that fact has won half the battle.she will enjoy the gains of a man who would go to great length to win her continued admiration and praise. a woman who fails to take dat into consideration when dealing with her spouse will do dat to her own peril for she will create a monster that may eventually kill her.(God forbid).
I can go on and on,but let me summarise by saying dat there are men who are evil,conceited,proud,abusive and all.and for these men,women need to be on the look out for them and desist from marrying such men.but for most men who are devoted,hard working and sensitive any wise woman would do herself a favour by studying the man and in love,quietness and submissiveness bring out the best in d man.
Because of civilization and exposure most women see themselves as equals to the man and would do anything to assert themselves in d relationship.they will nag instead of suggesting,they will bitch instead of quietly telling the man what it is dat is the issue,they will get angry and abuse the man instead of controlling themselves and allowing thenselves to cool off.some women even go to the extent of physically provoking the man to get him to loose his temper if he is giving them the silent treatment.
Let me tell women this...any husband who is constantly being ridiculed,disrespected and harrased by his wife will soon loose his love for her.and believe me a man who has lost his love for the wife is a man whose beast is being fed.The beast will surely turn ferocious.But a woman who inspite of the fact that her man is being stubborn and egoistic chooses to use her feminine and subtle charms of diplomacy, respect,submissiveness and praise will win d man's heart completely and believe me the man can never raise his hands on her.infact she will be to him the tonic dat fuels his aching heart.
I may have offended some women here.but let me say once again that I do not subscribe to a man beating his wife.I am only suggesting how a woman can go about avoiding such in her home.