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Saturday, 29 January 2011

The Winnie Mandela Interview

Enjoy this lovely article

Winnie Mandela – those who love her call her Mother of the Nation (South Africa) and those who hate who say she should be jailed for life. There are few, if any, people who don’t experience intense feelings one way or another when her name is mentioned.

In an interview with Nadira Naipaul, the wife of novelist V S Naipaul. Winnie Mandela said Nelson Mandelan had done nothing for the poor and should not have accepted the Nobel peace prize with the man who jailed him, FW de Klerk.
The 73-year-old said her ex-husband had become a 'corporate foundation' who was 'wheeled out' only to raise money for the ANC party he once led.she said: 'This name Mandela is an albatross around the necks of my family.

'You all must realise that Mandela was not the only man who suffered. There were many others, hundreds who languished in prison and died.

'Mandela did go to prison and he went in there as a young revolutionary but look what came out.

'Mandela let us down. He agreed to a bad deal for the blacks. Economically we are still on the outside. The economy is very much "white".

'I cannot forgive him for going to receive the Nobel with his jailer de Klerk. Hand in hand they went. Do you think de Klerk released him from the goodness of his heart?

'He had to. The times dictated it, the world had changed and our struggle was not a flash in the pan, it was bloody to say the least and we had given rivers of blood. I had kept it alive with every means at my disposal'

Harsh criticisms from the former wife of one of the most popular people in the planet.

Winnie Mandela is a highly controversial figure and makes enemies as easily as others pick up shells on a beach. Yet, she is charismatic and is able to captivate an audience with the intensity of her gaze and speech. Winnie Mandela is the type of woman who commands attention when she walks into a room full of people. She is a beautiful looking woman and is proud to dress up in designer African clothes – even if you wanted to, you just cannot ignore this lady. When interviewed, she is grace personified and comes across as a warm and intelligent woman.

Just who is Winnie Mandela? The best way to answer this, is to have a look at her past and one will soon see why she became what she is today - someone that people have passionate feelings about.She was born on 26 September 1936 in Bizana, Transkei – now known as part of the Eastern Cape of South Africa. She was one of eight siblings and her mother, Nomathamsanqa Mzaidume taught Home Economics (Domestic Scienc) at a local school. Winnie experienced her first loss at the tender age of eight when her mother died. Her father worked in the Forestry and Agriculture department of the Transkei government. Transkei is now incorporated as part of the Eastern Cape in South Africa.

Winnie attended primary school in Bizna and completed her school career in Shawbury. She received a diploma in social work at the Jan Hofmeyer School in Johannesburg, Gauteng. Winnie had drive and ambition even in those early years – remember this was during the apartheid years and during a time when women were still oppressed in South Africa: she was both black AND female. Yet she managed to complete a Bachelor of Arts degree, majoring in International Relations, at one of the leading universities in South Africa, The University of Witwatersrand, in Johannesburg.

Her family were better off than most black people in South Africa in those years and during this time she was unaware of the inequality that was so rampant among black people. It was only when she worked at the Baragwanath Hospital as a social worker (she was the very first black social worker, male or female) that she became acutely aware of the huge gap between the privileged white minority and the terrible levels of poverty that the black people were subjected to. She noticed how bad the medical services were for ill black people and even completed a project that included research that showed than ten out one thousand black babies died during birth. Deaths that need not have happened.

During this time, she met young people from the African National Congress and her political voice was first heard in the nineteen-fifties and she was arrested and detained as a political prisoner for the first time in 1958. This did not deter her and she was heavily involved with encouraging the women of South Africa to stand up and refuse to be subjected to the laws of apartheid.

She met a young lawyer, Nelson Mandela during her early political years; they married and during the years gave birth to children. Even in the early years of their marriage, she had to learn to survive on her own , as Mandela toured different townships, passing on the anti-apartheid message. After his arrest and imprisonment in 1962, she was banned – this meant that she became a prisoner within Soweto, the largest township in South Africa. In typical Winnie style, she ignored the ban and visited her husband, Nelson, in prison in Cape Town in 1967. Her reward for this was one month’s jail.

Over the years she was banned and jailed. At one time she was put into solitary confinement on the death row, probably , the then government’s endeavour to weaken her beliefs. One wonders how the children coped with an absent father and a mother who was victimised in this way. After her release form a Kroonstad prison in 1975, she was part of the newly formed African National Congress Women’s League – a movement that till today has a powerful political voice. It was not long before the Women’s League was banned as well – this did not deter Winnie and her female comrades – they continued to struggle against the apartheid laws.

Winnie was involved with the Soweto 1976 uprising and was sentenced to jail again – this time, she had to spend half a year in prison and after her release she was not allowed to go back to Soweto. Once again, her homelife was tilted upside down. The South African government re-stationed her in the town of Brandfort and there she remained for nine years, enduring assaults on her house and received numerous death threats. Being the strong woman that she was, she again ignored her banning order and left Brandfort for visits to Soweto – for this she was arrested each time and had to spend time in jail.

Is this what made her controversial? Not at all – there were many other black people who endured the same victimisation. After all, it was her tenacity and loyalty that earned her the title "mother of the nation". She was respected worldwide and among the majority of black people. What put Winnie in a class of her own, besides being married to an icon and hero to millions of people worldwide, was her fearless verbal attack on the apartheid government. They responded in kind with arrests, banning orders and jail terms, but they were never able to destroy her or weaken her belief.

Ultimately, it was Winnie who almost destroyed herself. She formed what was known as The Mandela United Football Team. They spent more time protecting Mrs Mandela than playing football and soon rumours abounded about their involvement in clandestine activities. Her "football team" became powerful, eliminating anyone who would dare to oppose them. More rumours surfaced when it was said that many governmental informers were ordered by Winnie to death by necklacing (when a tyre is placed over an "accused's" neck and lit).

Stompie Seipei was their nemesis. A young child, only fourteen years old. He was abducted by this powerful "football" team, tortured and eventually murdered. The worst part is that this happened just a few months before the release of Nelson Mandela from captivity - a time when at last, it looked as though progress was being made to break down the barriers of apartheid.

Nelson was released and man and wife were re-united. Nelson Mandela, an icon, stood by his wife even though he had heard all the rumours of her mafiosa-like football team. He supported her and defended her at all times - even when she and her football team stood trial for the murder of Stompie, he was at her side. He believed in her. It was found that she had been involved with the death of Stompie and received a light jail sentence, but in typical Winnie-style, she managed to have the judgement overturned and walked away with a fine. One of her infamous bodyguards was sentenced for the actual death of Stompie.

By now, cracks appeared in the Mandela marriage - especially after rumours surfaced of an alleged relationship between the lady and one of her bodyguards. Nelson Mandela divorced Winnie Mandela and when he was inaugarated as first democratically-elected president of South Africa, one of his daughters was by his side - Winnie wasn't even invited to share with the podium and immediate interior of the celebrations that were held on that day - not until, Thabo Mbeki (Nelson's successor) personally invited her to sit with him and his wife. Winnie had found a way to survive again.

Against all expectations, she had been re-elected chairperson of the ANC Women's League several times and her voice is still a strong one. She despises the press who understandbly relish any opportunity to elaborate on her lifestyle. This woman, this Winnie Mandela, has spent a lifetime being victimised and oppressed. Could this be why when she was allowed to have some kind of power, she went overboard and took her anger out on a fourteen year boy? The records show that she was indirectly involved with his death, but is this any excuse? To the many that hate her, no.

She is a unique woman - I cannot say that I hate her or love her, but I most surely admire her drive and the fact that she has perfected the art of survival. The shadow of the death of poor Stompie should and will always haunt her - if anything, maybe his death brought her to her senses. May she continue to be strong, opposing injustices, but remembering not to commit any injustices herself.


Interview with Naipaul

Other Sources

Friday, 28 January 2011

Walk like an Egyptian from Jan 28th, the day they said Enough was truly Enough

A revolution is going on Egypt as I type. My interests in it lies in the fact that its an online revolution. Social networking led to change in Tunisia, and caused demonstrations in Yemeni.Its amazing to behold.

I engage in a lot of political debates on and offline and everyone agrees that Nigeria is in dire need for a change. However those same people laughed at the idea of an internet revolution...yet here it is! Been up all day and night following all updates because I am excited about the possible outcomes.

I hope this kind of virus spread around and gets to Nigeria..Too many people are talking about the problems we have as a nation and yet nothing really changes. The internet is a start, as non violent as ever, and if done right, very difficult to stifle. Even if there is no power to run an internet campaign, the estimated millions of Nigerians in the diaspora will gladly carry on, the international media will pick it up, forcing our leaders to take a stand and realise how fed up we really are. The Tunisian revolution was so successful, yes lives were lost, yet the government went on to pledge millions to take care of the survivors of those who died! I imagine the extensive media coverage had forced their hand!!)

We need a revolution already!!

Anyway back to Egypt:

Protesters in Egypt have been inspired by Tunisians who toppled their president, Zine al-Abidine Ben Ali, of 23 years. Egyptians have the same complaints that drove Tunisians on to the streets: surging food prices, poverty, unemployment and authoritarian rule. I am excited about the possible outcomes.

It started with Tuesday's "Day of Wrath" that kicked off protests now in their third day, are reveling in their success in bringing demonstrators out.
(Reuters) - Egypt's web activists have been brazen critics of the President Hosni Mubarak 30-year rule online. This week's unprecedented protests across Egypt showed they are becoming formidable opponents offline too.

Activists have used Facebook, Twitter and other social media to rally supporters online, coordinate protests and share tips on how to dodge arrest and deal with teargas. They blame the government for making access to the sites patchy.

"Mubarak took over Twitter and we took over the streets. Good deal," one anonymous user tweeted.

With two thirds of Egypt's 79 million people under the age of 30 and with many frustrated by largely toothless opposition parties, many of Egypt's youth have turned to the digital sphere as one of the few channels available to express their anger.

"The system has not responded to repeated calls for reform," said political analyst Nabil Abdel Fattah. "But these new generations managed though virtual space to break that silence and move to the streets."

Analysts say web activists have to prove they can sustain the momentum of protests and may find numbers shrink if the state responds with past tactics such as wage hikes and handouts for the poor instead of the political change they are demanding.

"This revolution will be called the revolution of the internet youth," a member of a Facebook group calling for protests wrote. "We will take it all the way to the end."

Protesters in Egypt have been inspired by fellow Arabs in Tunisia who toppled their president, Zine al-Abidine Ben Ali, of 23 years. They too spread the word for protests online.

Egyptians have the same complaints that drove Tunisians on to the streets: surging food prices, poverty, unemployment and authoritarian rule that smothers public protests.

The web allows protest locations to be quickly communicated.

"They are becoming better organized, they are able to coordinate, at least to a degree which sustained their activities," Hamzawy said.

Buoyant activists on Facebook are now calling for the biggest protest on Friday, the Egyptian weekend. It gained 75,000 online supporters in about 24 hours.

But the groups are heavily dependent on the internet for networking and coordination, a problem that can slow mobilization if social media networks go down.

Egyptians have already complained of patchy access to Twitter and Facebook, blaming the government, although they have found ways to access the sites via proxies.

Mobile networks and text messages also provide a back up, although users also complain of some disruption.

The government denies any role in disrupting the internet and insists it allows free expression in peaceful protests.

"Trying to cut off social media debate is like trying to cut the head off a hydra. Another one grows back very quickly," said Mark Hanson, London-based new media strategist.

According to some web activists, cyber attackers have targeted the Interior Ministry, Communications Ministry and ruling National Democratic Party websites.

The Tunisian model suggests that any government crackdown will struggle to contain the flow of information, and may simply mobilize more web users and other sympathizers into action.

"We will not be afraid any longer," many bloggers repeat on their sites. "Egypt will be liberated. You can try to block Facebook but you will still find us on the streets."

See more here

I hope and pray that such a time will come to Nigeria where:

1. Nigerians will stand for change. I refer to ordinary Nigerians like me or you or him or her, who are not the traditional government critics, showing no religious or other loyalty except to their call for political change. This our 'Goddey' attitude is killing us.

2. Our Organisational skills so efficient to the last details including plans to share leaflets to would-be demonstrators on what to do when teargas is fired, how to dodge arrest and tips on a citizen's constitutional rights in case of detention.

3. That death of Nigerian social critics or other such activists will stop being in vain. This apathy is what has kept us where we are at this time. I had written about the Jos Riots almost in the same week I created this blog. Imagine the pictures of those mutilated and roasted children and women being forwarded online, yet no one is facing the consequences of those death? No one resigned 'in honor' for not doing their job? What is the worth of a Nigerian life in 2011???

I pray to see the day that Nigerians actually agree that Enough is Enough and hope this will happen in my lifetime. Egyptians well done!

Ok, am going back to read online updates..:P


Tuesday, 25 January 2011

Help (2) My husband, supported by his church, used me for citizenship! No offence but IN MY OPINION, RCCG functions like a CULT..!

Hello Dear Patient Reader ;)

So I was browsing blogsville when I came across some stories. They claim to be true life stories and the writers actually need our advice. I couldnt resist but bring some of them to them to my blog so readers who have gone though a similar experience can play agony aunt and give them solutions. Or you can even give them some tough love as well. They will be published from time to time in a series titled 'HELP', this is the second part. You can find part one here ( I have given God everything..)

By my thinking any one of us can be silently going through terrible ordeals in our lives thinking we are alone, and believing there is no solution, no way out, well there is a way out! All you need to do is speak out or write anonymously, someone somewhere will respond to you. You are never alone, certainly not in blogsville.

So here is another one of the stories, names adjusted for obvious reasons, published unedited, all words are exactly as she wrote it...

I have been attending the Redeemed Christian church for quite some time. I married a man who is a member of thier church. This man used me for citizenship and he is high ranking member of this church in Malaysia and a member of the church... for 18 yrs in Nigeria. I supported him financially for 4 years, Sponsored him to Canada ,loved him and gave him a son. He left me a couple weeks after he gained his citizenship. This has been after 5 years of marriage and being a devoted wife to him. The church has assisted him to leave me and encouraged him to abandon me and our son. They are gossipers and mean hearted people. I have called both pastors for help in reconciling our marriage. They offered me no prayer or any kind of support what so ever. Even some of the other members in the church who did not like what my husband did to me spoke out and tired to support me and the pastor came down hard on them and discouraged them from doing so. I have been reliably informed that the pastor is arranging a new wife for me husband even though I am still legally married to him and still a member of the Redeemed Christian church. I am aware that not all churches are like this, but unfortunately the Redeemed Christian church function like a cult, but no offence intended. Finacially this church are taking advantage of us and they bought a building they can not afford and are now borrowing all the members money to pay for the down payment. They say by God's grace they will pay it back. This will be impossible for them to pay back as they dont have the means to pay it back. I was at church the church recently and was instructed to dance by a basket placed on the alter and give money if I want to worship with them the pastor centered me out and insisted that I must dance by this basket if I
want to worship with them. Please help me.

Siti Nurhaliza* (not real name) ·

WOW, So much to take in! what do you think about this situation? she needs your opinions now, a sign or word to touch her life. :-( Thanks in advance.
P.s: These sort of stories will be published from time to time in a series titled 'HELP', this is the second part.

Saturday, 22 January 2011

DATES/RELATIONSHIPS FROM HELL 1..(and the morale of each story ;)


I have been laughing my head off as well as shaking my head. Sometimes relationships are as complex as brain surgery and yet its comic timing is perfect!

Please read the following stories in this part and learn from it oh, dont say Mena's blog never teaches you nothing! lol!

The evening was romantic…flowers, gourmet food, light music, exquisite ambience..the perfect dinner followed by the raunchiest, mind-blowing activity…a night of rapturous and perfect bliss. Early the next morning, he gently slipped out of her entwined arms and out of bed, so as not to wake her up. He usually made breakfast in bed for best ones…least he could do for the pleasures she provided him the night before. Quick check in the kitchen for what ever ingredients could be found. Plantains, fresh fish, rice, condiments (left over stuff the chick from last weekend brought). Ok...rice plantains, fried fish it is…might even do a lil’ salad…put the rice to boil and clean the fish out. Frying pan from the top shelf…a liberal helping of vegetable oil. He leaves the oil to heat for about 3 minutes then shoves the cuts of fish into the pan….

His scream brought her running from the bedroom…to find him writhing on the kitchen floor, both hands clutching his nether regions…in excruciating agony….

The moral of this story:
NEVER, EVER…under any circumstance WHATSOEVER, fry fish in the nude..!!!


After the reception in a typical wedding in naija, usually the groom goes home alone and wait for his bride, the bride goes back to her parents for their blessings and pack her things to join her new hubby at his house.

in the yoruba tradition, the man is expected not to be home when the bride arrives and she will be welcomed by the groom's relatives.

This groom decided that it would be a good time to visit his ex-girlfriend while waiting for his bride to arrive, and ended up making love with both women (bride and ex) on his wedding night.

nine months later he had 2 kids same day from both women.

moral of the story - Each bride needs to have a handcuff in her wedding purse, to fasten the groom to herself immediately after the reception.


Torishe and Maxwell had been lovebirds for some months after they were introduced by a mutual friend. On the night Max planned to propose to his sweetheart, he called her up and asks where she was and she said she was at home.

Excitedly Maxwell drives down to the house and called his love again. This time around he asked her exactly where she was in the house and she told him she was helping her younger brother with an assignment in his room.

Things were working out for Max who had planned to sit on her bed and call her to come to her room where he'll be waiting with ring in hand. So lover-boy enters the compound and knocks expecting the maid to open the door but found it slightly ajar so he enters and makes his way to the room so as to plant himself as surprise.

Since he had been to the house a number of times, he didn't expect the room to be locked so he just turned the knob but alas the door was locked. As he was about to dial her mobile again he heard movement in the room so he peeps through the keyhole to find his beloved Torishe bouncing on an albino.

After a minute of watching heart ache causing mojo, max put his ring back in his pocket and headed back home.

Moral of the story: Never try a surprise in an unfamiliar terrain


Last but not the least:
Feyi answers the door and found a well dressed elderly woman at the door. She greets the woman and the woman asks after her father as in full names. Her dad was not home but the woman said she would wait for him (this happened in the pre-GSM days).

While waiting the woman called her and said she could not wait longer but that she would like to report her dad's atrocities to her. She listened as the woman told her how she left her 2 children with Feyi's dad while she went to work in the UK. And how on returning she found her children's decomposed body in her deep freezer.

On inquiry, she said she had been told that it was Feyi's dad that cut her children into small bits and refrigerated them (she had been sobbing all the while). The purpose of her visit was to fight the man but now that she couldn't see him, (she removes a knife from her purse) she would do justice to Feyi, the daughter of the man that murdered her own children.

On seeing the knife, Feyi ran out of the house only to meet her father at the gate. When the father saw the woman running after his daughter, he hugged and said ''Aunty mi, igba wo le'de'' (When did you arrive aunty). Seeing her father address the woman she burst out crying. By the time she narrated the woman's story to her father he burst out laughing.

The woman was his maternal aunt and she had been known to be insane though she has moments of sanity. A few minutes later she showered gifts one Feyi, whom she had almost killed.

Moral of the story: Always warn your children if you have mentally challenged relatives

Will just stop here for now. There will be a part 2 to this blog so please check from time to time. Real life stories to digest, complete with a morale angle, kinda like a public service announcement (ha ha) so dont say Mena's blog never teaches you anything ;)


Thursday, 20 January 2011

SEX 101 FOR DUMMIES! (Tnote please pay close attention..feel free to copy, paste, meditate and cram :p )


So I noticed a few more people have started following my blog. What I do is to immediately click on their profiles to follow them back as well as read their material..Which reminds me, please if you are following me and have a blog, please and please, I am on bended knees, leave a comment with a link to your blog so I can immediately reach your blog and follow you back. :) Ok? Ok!!

As I was saying, I usually click the profiles of newbies to locate a link to their blog, read some of the content, follow them and place comments. This is how I met one crase blogger called Tnotes and his plea for help on how to please a woman. :P

So without much further ado:

The art of foreplay

When it comes to foreplay, you'll find that most women like the

same things. Remember that it's a build-up of excitement, and

not just fiddling with her womanly bits :)

Here's a step-by-step guide you can follow that should tell her

you know what you're doing. It'll drive her wild and make her

want you even more!

Step 1:

Hold her close and press your body against hers. Nuzzle gently

into her neck and shoulders.

Step 2:

Continue to hold her close while gently stroking her back. Lie

her down and slide your hand lightly up and down her body along

the outline of her hip. If you like, let your hand venture down

to her butt occasionally, teasing her and making her tingle all


Step 3:

Start to kiss her, slowly and simply. No tongues yet! Suck

tenderly on her lower lip as you ease your tongue out, coaxing

her to respond by opening her mouth. If she does, gradually push

your tongue into her mouth while pressing your lips firmly

against hers. Move down to her delicate neck and shoulders as

you take her top off.

Step 4:

She'll be getting really horny by this time. Place one hand on

one of her breasts and caress it. Feel how hard the nipple is

with your thumb. Reach round and undo the strap of her bra.

Tell her how gorgeous you think she is and how turned on she's

making you feel. Then take her hard and erect nipple directly

into your mouth (gently!) as you stroke the other breast and

nipple with your hand.

Step 5:

Move down, kissing her tummy as you go. Undo any jeans/skirt and

then kiss her on the mouth again. While kissing her, place your

hand down between her legs and rub tenderly over her panties.

Then move the panties to one side and finger her vulva slowly

and smoothly.

Step 6:

At this point she'll be aching for it. You might want to go down

and teae her womanly bits, or she might decide to take over. She might

want to grind her body up against you or touch your crotch.

Either way is fine and you should just let it happen.

Start slowly and add to the stimulation as your partner gets more and more

aroused. If you're both up for it, you can also try

incorporating other ideas into your foreplay adventure, such as:

* starting with a massage

* reading erotic literature

* covering each other in whipped cream or your favorite

chocolate sauce :)

* fantasizing with each other

* teasing her by ALMOST licking or NEARLY stroking

So you see, there really is an 'art' to foreplay. Do it right

and your woman will thank you for it, over and over again

Okay Tnotes did not exactly ask for such tips, the truth is that his laptop has been infected by viruses from the porn sites he frequently visits. (Shey you see, my initial lie was more dignifying o.


@Tnotes: My bro, I keed I keed, I joke, I joke!

Wednesday, 19 January 2011

HELP (1) I have given God everything I have without a man or child to call my own

Please help me. Why has God abandoned me to suffer this shame? I did everything He asked me to do.

Hello Dear Patient Reader ;)

So I was browsing blogsville when I came across some stories. They claim to be true life stories and the writers actually need our advice. I couldnt resist but bring some of them to them to my blog so readers who have gone though a similar experience can play agony aunt and give them solutions. Or you can even give them some tough love as well. They will be published from time to time in a series titled 'HELP', this is the first part.

By my thinking any one of us can be silently going through terrible ordeals in our lives thinking we are alone, and believing there is no solution, no way out, well there is a way out! All you need to do is speak out or write anonymously, someone somewhere will respond to you. You are never alone, certainly not in blogsville.

So here is one of the stories, names adjusted for obvious reasons.

I am in my late 40s. I have never been married and still waiting on God to give me the man of my dreams. I have always been a good Christian, one that kept all the doctrines and did nothing without consulting my pastors. I became born again when I was in secondary school. My parents attend Catholic Church. Though they tried to dissuade me from joining my church, they soon gave up on my ways and me. They did to have peace at home as I was as determined too to make life difficult for them.

There is nothing I do without the express permission of my pastors to the irritations of my parents who saw it as another form of idolatry. From as far as I can remember, no man came my way without me first seeking the approval of my pastor.

Strangely, none of the men was ever approved as being the right man for me. After a while, when all my friends were all almost married, my mother called me aside to plead with me to get married and stop pegging my decision on who is right or wrong on the recommendations of my pastors.

I ignored her because she has always been my major antagonist when it comes to religious matters. I had to leave home when the last of my sisters got married. Being the first daughter and child of the family, my mother told me she couldn’t live with me any longer under the same roof. And that she wanted her husband to herself since I have refused everyman who came my way.

At the time I left five years ago, the number of men asking for my hand in marriage had almost disappeared entirely. Many who saw me assumed I was married with children. The few that came my way were either out to mock me or looking for a woman to sleep with.

I became not just desperate but afraid that I might end up without a husband. As I write my youngest sister has two children already. My immediate sister’s two children are already in the university. The rest of my siblings are not only married but are parents. These days, I hate going home because they all look at me with scorn.

Since last year, not even the wayward ones have come my way to even look at the market I am selling. The worst thing now is that my menses have stopped flowing.

The most painful thing now is that all the pastors who once encouraged me are now urging me to lower my standards and marry any man before I completely lose out. At 49, what choices do I have? I went for medical examinations when I discovered my menses had stopped only to be told by the doctor after examination that I was entering menopause.

Help me , because I feel suicidal. I want children, husband like every other woman, but here I am, having given God everything I have without a man or child to call my own. I am looking older than my age because of all the frustrations.

Please help me. Why has God abandoned me to suffer this shame? I did everything He asked me to do.

Well people, what do you think about this situation? she needs your opinions now, a sign or word to touch her life. :-( Thanks in advance.
P.s: These sort of stories will be published from time to time in a series titled 'HELP', this is the first part.

Wednesday, 12 January 2011


I have been given an award by a dear follower and someone I admire for her dedication, her style, her stories, her life. Want to read some nitty gritty encounters of the housewife type,just click the one and only Ibhade. Seriously Ibhade, wowowow, thats nice and thoughtful of you. I'm touched and very grateful.

According to the rules, i should say 7 things about myself;

1. I love to plan so much, its uncanny..infact its borderline OCD!

2. I love romantic depiction in words and sometimes in pictures. I think the lyrics to this song "All I'll Ever Ask" describes me to the 'T' but have never been in love with anyone.

3. I write... a lot but dont publish as much because I am still at a dilemma on what aspects of my life I can blog about, without hurting anyone.

4. Horror movies are my thing, but they have recently become a borefest, forcing me to the psychological drama genre as a substitute. I love investigative, whodunnit like movies..i.e criminal minds, house, csi..but 'The Pinky and the brain' That is the cream of the crop. :))

5. I tend to keep cards

6. I am better at recalling faces of people than recalling names, it only takes the one moment I set my eyes on them.

7. I am very opinionated and I get passionate about issues I care about. Now this streak was largely encouraged by my father, a very traditional man, stoic on gender roles go figure!

Also, am expected to give the award to 15 other bloggers

1} Nutty Jay because she is awesome, intelligent, frank about issues, is versatile and stylish and one of the first to encourage me start a blog and to begin by transferring my notes from facebook to blogspot!

2} Mamuje because her topics are exotic, versatile, served with attitude.

3}Anne Dickens because after Ibhade, she is the next person whose topics are so different to mine and very interesting as well. Think am exaggerating? Just click on her name then..

4}Flourishing Florida because I enjoy her style

5} Wise Sage: Her thoughts are very interesting and her style is unique

6}Pamela: Her blogs were on afrocentric issues. Her very last blog was her journey with maintaining her natural hair. Well I nominate her because she has abandoned her blog and I want her back sharpish!

7}Seun: same reason as Pamela, only Seun dealt with politics and religion. He is a very cerebral writer and we need him back

8}iphyigbogurl same reason as Seun and Pamela!

9}ZOE KIDS: because I would be honored if you guys 'like' the cause on facebook. It is doing remarkable things for disadvantaged kids

10}Marilyn: A very cerebral, capable blogger!

11}Seshe her blog IS stylish

12}Henry though I have just started following him, his topics are awesome!

13}Myne because she is gifted,talented, creative and disciplined. (Has actually published in print!)

14}A Jaye for his exciting movie blogs!

15} Linda Ikeji: The cat fights alone na die!

Other additions
16} Roundsquared Chumolette : Prolific writer and a lecturer to boot! Never a dull moment in this blog

17}Mustard Seed: Lecturer like Roundsquared, she is also a passionate activist, a lecturer, a humanitarian, a volunteer, practically a saint. Sadly like Seun, Pamela and Iphy she has strayed and we miss her and want her back!

18} Amanda Martin :Because her blogs are so vesatile, it touches on current events both on a local and international scale and because her blog is stylishly done.

19} Duchess : Because I admire her humour, her inner strength, and her relentless work. Check her blog out now now.

1}Thank the blogger that gave you the award.

2}Then list 7 things about yourself.

3}Give out the same awards to 15 other bloggers.

4}Then contact them.

Am off to contact them.

P.S: Please if you dont see your name and you are upset, I give you full permission to cuss me out! Because if na me, I will do the same oh. ehen :)

P.P.S: If you took p.s seriously, do be gentle. :P

Tuesday, 11 January 2011

Thoughts on 'opinions' and the deceptive nature of Perception..

So I was reading through an article on the financial times and I found myself at odds with a particular company's share analysis, particular its forecasting, so much so that I wanted to write in to give my opinion on that same article. This does not mean that the original intepretation of the data was completely wrong, neither does it mean that I am wrong, it just means that there are several intepretation of events.

I think there is room for all perspectives, I am not going to say that I am right and others are wrong. My opinion is just that, mine and based on my interpretation of what I feel, hear, see and think. I have no problem whatsoever with anyone who disagrees with me. Infact I welcome dissenting views, and try to respect the opinions if others and at the same time am not afraid to state my own.

We are all individuals with our own view of the world and our own sense of what we like and dislike. Our interpretations are based on very personal experiences, tastes, interpretations of what we see. If we all agreed we would be no different to sheeples!

As I grow older, I find myself almost seeking out views that are different to my own. I believe that in interaction, knowledge is shared and a form of enlightenment is achieved. I never mistake opinions for facts no matter how eloquent the bearer of said opinion is, I also question everything, a trait of mine, that has earned me the label of 'opinionated'. Oh well...maybe I am.

Why do I question everything? Well one reason is the eternal search for enlightenment and another is because of the power of perception.

Ah perception is a deceptive device of the brain, how we interpret data depends on our life experiences to date, our hopes, bias , and what we want to believe/hope to be true. We interpret what we take in with our senses according to what memories,hopes, desires or opinions we previously held. We look and observe with either a negative or positive filter, but filter we do.What does not fit the ideal picture is discarded or moulded to fit.In other words we crop positively or negatively to fit with what ever opinion we previously held or with what we want to believe.

Perception is not objective and does not give a true picture.Sometime we may change our perception to a more negative/positive one. Another thing is that emotion and affection affect perception and can warp it, in the form of denial.Like a man with an abusive beautiful woman who thinks his friends and family are wrong or jealous of his mate.

Very few can think outside the box of perception and be totally objective, there is almost always an agenda. So your truths may be misconceptions to me and visa versa hence the need for a critical debate. 

Thursday, 6 January 2011

Today, I went to the woods to have one last talk with God, I wanted to quit my life.

my relationship, my career,my spirituality... Nothing seemed to be working...I wanted to quit my life.
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.
"God", I asked, "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"
His answer surprised me...
"Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"
"Yes", I replied.
"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them.
I gave them light.
I gave them water.
The fern quickly grew from the earth.
Its brilliant green covered the floor.
Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.
In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.
And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. He said.
"In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.
But I would not quit.
In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. I would
not quit." He said.
"Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared
to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant...But just 6
months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.
It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.
I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."
He asked me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots".
"I would not quit on the bamboo.
I will never quit on you."
"Don't compare yourself to others."
He said.
"The bamboo had a different Purpose than the fern.
Yet they both make the forest beautiful."
Your time will come", God said to me.
"You will rise high"
"How high should I rise?"
I asked.
"How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.
"As high as it can?" I questioned.
"Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."
I left the forest and brought back this story.
I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you.
Never, Never, Never Give up.
For Prayer is not an option but an opportunity.
Don't tell the Lord how big the problem is,
tell the problem how Great the Lord is!

Heavens door open this morning, God asked me...
"My CHILD, what can I do for you?"
And I said, "Daddy, please protect and bless the one reading this message."
God smiled and answered, "Request granted."

This message is now in your hands, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!