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Friday, 25 February 2011

The African, when he is a child, is mostly being groomed for conformity, first, by her/ his parents, then her/his relatives, and finally the society.

Hello!!

I engage in a lot of political debates on and offline and its obvious that the wind of change blowing in North Africa has made a huge impact on how we, as individuals, analyse current affairs. Certain illusions have been shattered. It has also made some of us more aware of the power of information, media, positive networking and the power of citizens. Some of us are aware of how long African leaders generally cling on to political powers, but for those who may not know, here is a snap shot:

Ben Ali of Tunisia - 23 years - 1988 - 2011................fallen

Hosni Mubarak of Egypt - 30 years - since 1981.........fallen

Moummar Ghaddfi of Libya - 42 years - since 1969

Mbasago of Equatorial Guinea - 32 years - since 1979

Jose Santos of Angola - 32 years - since 1979

Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe - 31 years - since 1980

Paul Biya of Cameroon - 29 years - since 1982

Yoweri Museveni of Uganda - 25 years - since 1986

Blaise Campore of Burkina Fasso - 24 years since 1987

Mswati III of Swaziland - 24 years - since April 1986

Omar Bashir of Sudan - 21 years - since 1989

Idrissu Deby of Chad - 21 years - since 1990

Isaias Afewerki of Eritrea - 18 years - since 1993

Yahya Jammeh of Gambia - 17 years - since 1994

Meles Zenawi of Ethiopia - 16 years - since 1995

Pakalitha Mosisili (Lesotho) - 13 years - since 1998;

Ismail Omar Guelleh of Djibouti - 12 years - since 1999

Mohammed VI of Morocco - 12 years - since 1999

Laurent Gbagbo of Ivory Coast - 11 years+ - since 2000

Abdoulaye Wade (Senegal) - 11 years - since 2000

Paul Kagame (Rwanda) - 11 years - since 2000



Today's guest writer looks at one of the reasons why such leaders are 'enabled' to hold on to their office for so long. ENJOY!



Many people here constantly talk of the white man's ills, by blaming him on almost everything. African dictators are said to have been placed on power by the white man, hunger is caused by the white man, disease, also by the white man. Destruction, slavery and wars, once again, are caused by the white man. But does any African ever think that he/she is partly responsible for his own demise? There are corrupt dictators everywhere in Africa, but how many actually seek to examine their own cultures and see how these dictators are cultivated?

The African, when he is a child, is mostly being groomed for conformity, first, by his parents, then his relatives, and finally the society.
From when he is young, the African child is forced to obey his parents. His dad is his god, his mom, next in command to the god. Each of his movements are watched, and his actions are carefully scrutinized. Every unruly act is punishable by canning, and sometimes by depriving of the basic necessities. So the African child learns early in life that brute force is necessary, in order to achieve civility.

The African child also never questions, because every question can be misconstrued as as a gesture of an on-coming audacious behaviour. If he asks his parents questions that they are not able to answer, they will lie to him. If they can answer the question, but think that the answer may be too lewd, they will scold him and send him to his room, or worse, cane him. So the African child learns early on in life, that questions are not to be asked, unless absolutely necessary.

The African child's interactions with other adults who visit the home is also carefully controlled, lest he becomes naughty out of his own curiosity. All the adults are introduced either as Aunty that, or Uncle that. Those Aunties or Uncles holding lots of political or academic power, are introduced carefully, and presented as demigods. So the child knows right away that titles are to be respected, that all adults are to be respected without question. After greeting visitors, the African child is told to go outside right away and play, lest he disturbs these honourable sirs and madams with questions they may not like.

Going on to school, the African child learns even bigger lessons of conformity. his classes are highly structured, his games are carefully planned and just like Pavlov's dog, he is reminded of these by the bells that are rung at certain times. He is also exposed to other superiors called prefects. These prefects are often the eyes and ears of the teachers and the principle. Disobedient behaviour, will be aptly punished by these prefects, and if they take you to the teachers, it gets even worse. So obedience is the order of the day. Because of this extreme obedience, the free interaction of teachers and student is often reduced to fear. In very few instances does a child ever get away with defiant behaviour in an African school. With the kind of rigor that is present in African schools, its highly unlikly that there will be any time for asking meaningful questions, and developing a proper student teacher relationship, or even creativity.

Anyways, by the time the African child is now an adult and has graduated from college, he has learnt important lessons in conformity. He now respects every person with a higher title than him. He will treat a Doctor, or a PHD guy like a demigod. He will kiss and lick the hands of any millionaire. If he ever gets in touch with a white man, he will treat him better than his fellow African, because of course the white man lives in heaven, and thus carries with him his heavenly goods. Any politician this African may meet, he will regard as a god, because he has been taught to respect titles. He will not ask questions, because again, he has learnt not to ask any, lest he gets in trouble. So this man becomes a slave to his own fear.

The only Africans who ever emerge out of this vicious cycle of conformity, are the square pegs in round holes. The ones who were free from childhood. The ones who mastered their fear by going against the norm. These ones often become the leaders of the sheeple, whether good or bad. Some of them become great politicians fighting for the people's rights, some become tyrants. Those who become tyrants are often times used to not being questioned. They are used to living in a society where fear reigns. Where titles are respected, etc.

It is for this reason why, a politician in Africa can get away from murdering a couple of thousands of the citizens, while one from the west can hardly get away from getting a blow job in the office. It is also for this reason why several Kenyan politicians who have embezzled millions in the golden-berg scandal, will still stay in office, while one in the west will be forced to resign. Africans simply will not question. They will seek the least resistant way possible. This has to change. The culture has to change.

If we contrast the African child's behaviour, with that one who has been raised in the west, we notice a few things;

The western child is shockingly honest. He mentions exactly how he feels like, asks for what he wants, not what his parents thinks he wants, and he questions anything and everything his mind desires. The African child on the other hand, is dishonest. He doesn't mention anything that may make an adult angry, or that may get him in trouble. He has been taught to conceal thoughts of curiosity from early on, so he is timid and never questions when given a command.

The difference in behviour of these children comes about because their parents treat them differently. In the west, parents hardly cane their children. They scold them, and explain to them why they are being sent to their room as punishment. The African child on the other hand, gets a good beating if defiant behaviour is discovered. So, you may say, doesn't this make the westernized child more spoilt? Yes it does in a sense, but the Westernized child learns an important lesson - brute force does not get you obedience. The African child learns that brute force keeps you aligned and reason is not good. So you can imagine how an African dictator will act? By brute force,and not by reasoning.

p/s you are free to use words such as uncle tom, sell-out, bad african, etc to describe me.

O.O

My thoughts: The above piece, titled 'How Africans prepare themselves for conformity' was written by today's featured author, the brilliant non conformist, Oketa Otira.

(will give you sweets if you click 'like' he he he ;)



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Tuesday, 22 February 2011

Fourteen bible inspired ways to get a wife

1. Beg (LOL,I kid I kid I joke I joke)



1. Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours. - (Deuteronomy 21:11-13)

2. Find a prostitute and marry her. - (Hosea 1:1-3)

3. Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock. - Moses (Ex 2:16-21)

4. Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the
deal. Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)

5. Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab
one and carry her off to be your wife. - Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25)

6. Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will
cost you. - Adam (Gen 2:19-24)

7. Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in
marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work
another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place.
That's right. Fourteen years of toil for a wife. - Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30)






8. Cut 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law's enemies and get his daughter for a wife - David (I Samuel 18:27)

9. Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll definitely find someone. (It's all relative, of course.) - Cain
(Genesis 4:16-17)

10. Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. -Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4)

11. When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a... woman; now get her for me." If your parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me." - Samson (Judges 14:1-)

12. Kill any husband and take HIS wife (Prepare to lose four sons, though). - David (2 Samuel 11)

13. Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It's not just a good idea; it's the law.) - Onana and Boaz (Deuteronomy or
Leviticus, example in Ruth)

14. Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity. - Solomon
(1 Kings 11:1-3)

Happy Hunting. LOL

Me'mena

Sunday, 20 February 2011

Interesting account of a member of the commonwealth club...

If you are West African or are just someone who loves to read the political history of certain W.A countries, this extract might interest you...



Chapter 22 (page 351-357)
Inside the Commonwealth Club

…Soon after we joined, the prime minister of Nigeria, Sir Abubakar Tafawa Balewa, called a conference of Commonwealth prime ministers for 11 January 1966 in Lagos, to discuss Rhodesia’s Unilateral Declaration of Independence (UDI). Rhodesia was then a self-governing colony with a white minority of 225,000 in control of 4 million black Africans. I decided to go.

On the BOAC (British Overseas Airways Corporation) plane making the seven-hour flight from London to Lagos were several other prime ministers and presidents of the smaller commonwealth countries. We made conversation. A memorable fellow passenger was Archbishop Makarios, president of Cyprus. He wore silken black robes with a tall black hat as archbishop of the Greek Orthodox Church. Once on board, he removed his robes and hat and looked a totally different person, a smallish bald man with a moustache and a mass of beard. He sat across the aisle form me, so I had a good view of him. I watched, fascinated, as he dressed and tidied up when the plane taxied to the terminal. He diligently and carefully combed his moustache and beard. He stood up to put on his black robes over his white clothes, then his gold chain with a big medallion, and then carefully placed his hat on his head. An aide brushed him down to remove any white flecks from his flowing black robes, and handed him his archbishop’s staff; only then was His Beatitude Archbishop Makarios finally ready to descend the steps in proper style for the waiting cameras. No politician could have been more PR-conscious. The other prime ministers held back and allowed him to take precedence- he was not only president, he was also archbishop.

We were greeted, inspected a guard of honour in turn, and then whisked into Lagos. It looked lie a city under siege. Police and soldiers lined the route to the Federal Palace Hotel. Barbed wire and troops surrounded it. No leader left the hotel throughout the two-day conference.

The night before the meeting, Sir Abubakar Tafawa Balewa, whom I had visited two years before, gave us a banquet in the hotel. Raja and I were seated opposite a hefty Nigerian, Chief Festus, their finance minister. The conversation is still fresh in my mind. He was going to retire soon, he said. He had done enough for his country and now had to look after his business, a shoe factory. As finance minister, he had imposed a tax on imported shoes so that Nigeria could make shoes. Raja and I were incredulous. Chief Festus had a good appetite that showed in his rotund figure, elegantly camouflaged in colorful Nigerian robes with gold ornamentation and a splendid cap. I went to bed that night convinced that they were a different people playing to a different set of rules.

…My attendance at Lagos consolidated my friendship with Harold Wilson. I had been helpful to the Africans and not unhelpful to the British. Wilson congratulated me outside the conference room and said he hoped I would attend other Commonwealth conferences. He needed a foil for difficult leaders who made long and biting speeches. The conference ended two days later after appointing two committees to review the effects of sanctions and the special needs of Zambia that required Commonwealth support.

When we left for our next stop, Accra, the capital of Ghana, there was more security along the route to the airport as tension had increased in Lagos in the four days since we arrived.

Three days after we arrived in Accra, we were told by our hosts that there had been a bloody coup in Lagos. Prime Minster Abubakar had been assassinated and so had Chief Festus. An Ibo army major from eastern Nigeria, where oil was being discovered, led the coup, which killed many Hausa Muslims form northern Nigeria. The major said “he wanted to get rid of rotten and corrupt ministers and political parties.” This coup put Major-General Aguiyi-Irons into power, but it was to be followed by many other coups.

Kwame Nkrumah, Ghana’s president did not rejoice at the news. He himself had had a narrow escape about two years before, just before I visited him in January 1964. By 1966, “Osagyefo” (Redeemer), as Nkrumah was called, had recovered enough of his bounce to give me dinner with some of his senior ministers and a bright young vice-chancellor of his university. This man, Abraham, was only about 30 years old, had taken a First in Classics at Oxford and was a fellow of All Souls’ College. Nkrumah was very proud of him. I was impressed, but wondered why a country so dependent on agriculture should have its brightest and best do Classics- Latin and Greek.

On our arrival at Accra, the person who came up to the aircraft to greet me was Krobo Edusei, the minister for presidential affairs. He had gained notoriety as a corrupt minister who had bought himself a golden bedstead, a story much publicized in the world press. Nkrumah defused the scandal by restricting Krobo’s portfolio to looking after government hospitality. On my second night in Accra, he took me to a nightclub in Accra. He proudly announced that he was the owner and that all VIPs would enjoy their evenings there.

We traveled by car to the High Volta dam, some three hours of travel. On the road to the dam, our convoy was led by a car with loud speakers playing music with an African beat; the lyrics had the refrain, in English, “work is beautiful.” Little toddlers would appear from their huts off the road, swaying naturally to the rhythm as they made their way to the roadside to wave to us. I was fascinated to see how lithe and double-jointed they were.

I was the second guest to be entertained on a beautiful yacht that had been imported fully assembled form Miami. They told me it had been transported by rail and floated on the lake. Accompanying us on board were Krobo Edusei and Ghana’s minister for foreign affairs, Alex Quaison Sackey, a well-educated and well-spoken man. When we were cruising on the lake, having cocktails and canap├ęs on deck, Raja asked Krobo who had made his beautiful safari suit. Krobo replied, “My tailor shop in Kumasi. You must visit it one day and I will make a suit for you like mine.” He then spoke of his other activities. He used to be a 30 bob (US$4) a week postal clerk; now he had two sons educated in Geneva Switzerland. A man, he said, must have ambition. Quaison Sackey, a sophisticate who had been president of the UN General Assembly, looked most unhappy and uncomfortable, He valiantly tried to steer the conversation away from Krobo, but Krobo was not to be deterred and we were regaled with one hilarious tale after another. I wondered what would happen to these two countries. They were then the brightest hopes of Africa, the first two to get their independence, Ghana in 1957, followed shortly by Nigeria.

One month later on 24 February, as Nkrumah was being welcomed with a 21-gun salute in Beijing, China, an army coup took place in Accra. People danced in the streets as the army leaders arrested leading members of Nkrumah’s government. Alex Quaison Sackey and Krobo Edusei were with Nkrumah in Beijing. When they returned to Accra, they were placed under protective custody. My fears for the people of Ghana were not misplaced. Notwithstanding their rich cocoa plantations, gold mines, and High Volta dam, which could generate enormous amounts of power, Ghana’s economy sank into disrepair and has not recovered the early promise it held out at independence in 1957.

The news I read saddened me. I never visited Ghana again. Two decades later, in the 1980s, Quaison Sackey saw me in Singapore. He had been arrested and released in one of the innumerable coups. He wanted to purchase palm oil on credit from Singapore, on behalf of the Nigerian government, which promised to pay after they had held their elections. I said that was a private business deal he had to strike. He picked up a living by using his contacts with African leaders of neighboring states. Ghana, he said, was in a mess. I asked after the bright young vice-chancellor, Abraham. Quaison Sackey reported that he had entered a monastery in California. I felt sad. If their brightest and best gave up the fight and sought refuge in a monastery, not in Africa but in California, the road to recovery would belong and difficult.

I was not optimistic about Africa. In less than 10 years after independence in 1957, Nigeria had had a coup and Ghana a failed coup. I thought their tribal loyalties were stronger than their sense of common nationhood. This was especially so in Nigeria, where there was a deep cleavage between the Muslim Hausa northerners and the Christian and pagan southerners. As in Malaysia, the British had handed power, especially the army and the police, to the Muslim. In Ghana, without this north-south divide, the problem was less acute, but there were still clear tribal divisions. Unlike India, Ghana did not have long years of training and tutelage in the methods and discipline of modern government…

Lee Kuan Yew
Third world to First
The Singapore story 1965- 2000

Monday, 14 February 2011

A tale of the Driver, the Millionaire and the Socialite...;-)

Tales of some of the typical people we encounter on valentine day (and other such 'special' days) Enjoy!!

Once upon a time there was a a confused driver, a stingy millonaire, and a social drinker..how they connect is open to interpretation


The tale of the Confused Driver in the Nigerian (Lagos) Highway



Whether you are the owner of the car or just its designated driver, Mena has a few tips for you.;)

1. When in doubt, accelerate!

2. Be prepared to ram anything stopping you wearing uniform in Lagos (police, traffic warden, FRSC, Kai brigade, fire brigade, VIO, Lastma, Lamata, Laswa, even Lawma sef).

3. If you get caught by any chance, DO NOT allow them to enter your car, if they happen to get in DO NOT drive from that spot (veer off traffic & settle 5hun), and if they don't agree, form calling your uncle who is in the army (believe me it always works), never follow them to ANY sort of office except you want to pay times 10.

4. Never give police or VIO your original particulars (whether expired or up to date)

5. Danfo drivers believe they are immortal. NEVER yield to the temptation to teach them otherwise.

6. Okada riders have a pact with suicide; avoid them like a plaque

7. Avoid BRT buses in all ramifications, they have NO brakes

8. Taxi cabs (oko asewo) should always have the right of way; all of them have been driving in Lagos for 25yrs.

9. Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless he flings himself under the wheels of your car.

10. The first parking space you see will be the last parking space you see. Grab it. Survival of the fittest you may say!

11. Learn to swerve abruptly. In Lagos, potholes (and sometimes car-holes) are put in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and shock absorbers (I saw one man fishing in one of the potholes last week).

13. Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive bodywork, except you want to spend your whole Saturday at the panel beater's place.

14. Morning rush-hours are equivalent to Lagos grand prix (who gets to the junction first)

15. There is no such thing as a short-cut during rush-hour traffic in Lagos. Everybody might be inclined to take that 'short-cut'.

16. When asking for directions, always ask at least 3 people. Lagosians ALWAYS claim to know every inch of the city - even areas they've never been to.

17. Use extreme caution when pulling into service lanes. Service lanes are not for breaking down the traffic, but for speeding, especially during rush hour.

18. Never use directional signals, since they only confound and distract other Lagos drivers, who are not used to them.

19. Similarly, never attempt to give hand signals. Lagos drivers, unused to such courtesies, will think you are making obscene gestures to them. This could be very bad for you in Lagos.

20. Hazard lights (popularly called "double pointer") is not, (as commonly supposed) used to indicate a hazard. It is a warning to you that he is a bona fide Lagos driver, he's headed 'straight' and as such, will not stop under any circumstance. Take him extremely seriously especially if he backs it up with a continuous blast from his "horn".

21. At any given time, do not stand on the zebra crossing expecting traffic to yield to you, or else you will have to explain to the oncoming traffic whether you look like a zebra.

22. Speed limits are arbitrary figures posted only to make you feel guilty.

23. Remember that the goal of every driver is to get there first by whatever means necessary.

24. In Las Gidi every spot is a potential bus stop. FRSC and LASTMA know that too. It is in their constitution.

25. Above all, keep moving. Even with a flat tire!!!

HORNING IN LAGOS
- 'Horn' when someone executes a dangerous maneuver.
- 'Horn' when you're about to move off.
- 'Horn' when you're about to overtake.
- 'Horn' when someone is about to overtake you.
- 'Horn' when turning into a road.
- 'Horn' when emerging from a road.
- 'Horn' back when someone horns at you. It's considered good
etiquette.
- 'Horn' when you hear a chorus of horns. Don't worry if you don't know
what all the 'horning' is about.
- 'Horn' when you're happy.
- 'Horn' to the beat when you're playing music in your car.


So confused driver, I hope Mena has been able to help you. Happy Valentines Day, as you expeditiously navigate through our Lagos hustle and
bustle!

The Tale of the Stingy Millionaire (very self explanatory) (Lets face it, a huge number of you will know this person, Mena is not saying anything new :P)



A Nigerian business tycoon was at a social gathering where other
moguls and wealthy men were present.

The businessman looked for all ways to oppress the other rich men who were present at the gathering.

Just for that foolish reason, he sent for his driver and had this
conversation with him:

Driver, go to my house, not the green one, the red one.

Not the red one in Ikoyi, the red one in Victoria Island.

Not the one in Adeola Odeku, the one on Etim Iyang Cresent. Not No.
22, but No. 11.

You will see a black gate, fling it open.

You will see a green Honda Civic.

Perpendicularly, adjacently opposite to the Civic is a blue Toyota
Carina E.

It is not that one.

Trigonometrically, geometrically, hypogenous 90 degrees to the 306 is
a Mazda 929.

It is not that one.

The Madza is very close to a regular Benz, the regular Benz is behind
a 406, the 406 is beside Volvo S40 which is in front of a Honda Accord
blocking a Toyota RAV4 opposite a Honda CRV? that makes a crescent to the Prado Jeep.

On getting to the Prado Jeep, make a diagonal sharp turn to the left
extreme right top corner, on your way to where I parked the M-Class.
Very close to the E-Class in front of the Beast at the back of the
swimming pool is a lovely S. Type Jaguar.

Don't touch the bonnet.

Go to the boot, fling it open.

You will see red, white and blue briefcases.

The red one contains dollars,10 million dollars.

Don't touch it.

The blue contains pounds, 8 million pounds.

Don't touch it.

The white one contains Naira,

500s, 200s,100s,50s, 20s, 10s denominations.

I arranged them in hierarchical order.

500 Naira in first layer,

200 Naira in second,

100 Naira 3rd layer,

50 Naira 4th layer,

20 Naira 5th and

10 Naira top floor.

Take one 10 Naira.

Go and use it to buy pure water, and don't forget to bring my change.


The Tale of the Social Drinker

A lot of you will be tipsy or even drunk by the end of today, well Mena has a few words of 'advice' for you..Enjoy


Things That Are Difficult To Say When You're Drunk

Cinnamon
Indubitably
Innovative
Preliminary
Proliferation

he he he he. At your own risk of cus

Things That Are VERY Difficult To Say When You're Drunk

British Constitution
Loquacious Transubstantiate
Passive-aggressive disorder
Specificity


Things That Are Downright IMPOSSIBLE To Say When You're Drunk

Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
Nope, no more alcohol for me.
Sorry, but you're not really my type.
Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
Oh, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.
You're right, I can't jump over that table!
undefined


Have a great Week!

Memena
xx

Friday, 11 February 2011

DATES/RELATIONSHIPS FROM HELL 2..(and the morale of each story ;)




Hello! Thats sisi up there, loving her mask!

So hi everyone, its Friday, a day notorious for dates and relationships..so I figured that a blog about that will suffice. :P

This is a continuation of dates and relationships from hell. I have been laughing my head off as well as shaking my head. Sometimes relationships are as complex as brain surgery and yet its comic timing is perfect!

Please read the following stories in this part and laugh and learn. That crazy little thing called love? Its not a small 'sonething..'


A sexy woman went up to the bar somewhere in Ikeja, Lagos, she gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately. she seductively signalled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did she gently caressed his full beard. "Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands.
"Actually, no" he replied.
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him" she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair. " I'm afraid I can't" breathed the bartender. Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes, I need for you to give him a message" she continued, running her foreginger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
"what should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say.

" Tell him," she whispered, "there's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room.


Moral of the story . Be quick to point out your manager!


His main babe: welcome dear... made dinner for you
The man: Thanks dear, not hungry...
His main babe: Why....? Had dinner somewhere with that useless girls in your
office again eh?
The man: Don't be ridiculous... com'on, come off it... i had a rather late
lunch after a rather lengthy afternoon meeting

2 hours later,'the man' and 'his main babe' are enjoying a preamble to the main event. 'The man' decides to use his fingers to prep 'his main babe' before proceeding to the main event... Suddenly, his main babe let's out a shriek, starts to tap his hands in quick succession indicating that he should relocate his them before saying "you chop suya, you chop suya, so upon all the better better food wey i dey cook give you, you still go dey chop malam mumuni suya with that useless girl.... wait for me i dey come, you go see pepper today". As she rushes to the bathroom to clean up, 'the man' is left bewildered and cursing his luck wondering how on earth she found out after all the trouble he had taken to clean up


Moral of the story
... no play 'anyhow' with madam after you don chop suya ?


Funke and Funto have been friends forever. Both of them went to the same primary, girls secondary school, both of them gratuated from the same university reading the same course.

Funto introduced Funke to her brother Folusho, and the two of them started dating. That was 10years ago.

Funke just want to get married now, but Folusho always had one project or the other he needs to accomplish before he settles down.

Funke met Nifemi at a party and one thing led to another. From the very first night Nifemi told Funke that he wants a wife not a girlfriend.

Funke went back to Folusho one more time to beg him to marry her, but Folusho was so busy with his numerious projects.

Funke loaded her wedding pictures onto her Facebook page. That's how Folusho got to know that Funke had gone ahead to marry Nifemi at the registry and he was so heartbroken.

Moral of the story......this new FB olofofo settings na wah o

There was a certain Naija girl (name withheld for religious reasons) who took a picture with one of her 'more attractive' friends and put this picture on facebook as her profile picture. Well, she caught the attention of a certain guy (name withheld for security reasons). The guy thought that she was a very attractive girl, and he wanted to know her better (prospective date?). Unfortunately, the girl had blocked access to her other pictures (apart from the profile pic), so the guy had no choice but to add her as a friend (you mustn't let the fish escape, shey you get!). So he did....

She checked out the guy....I think he must have been an 'attractive' guy and she accepted his friend request. However, to the dismay of the guy, even when the girl added him, he still didn't have access to her other pictures (apart from the profile pic, which wasn't tagged by the way). Well, no shakings -- the guy decided to open up a 'communication line' with such a fine babe. They started chatting. The chat went something like this...

Guy: Omo, shey u know say u fine sha!
Girl: Thank you...lol.....you are not too bad urself....lmao
Guy: I don't have access to your other fine pictures o....
Girl: I generally don't put my pics on facebook, i am a very private person...lol
Guy: Don't be a stranger now....abeg
Girl: Are you a born-again christian?
Guy: yes I am, I born-again pass pastor sef
Girl: be serious now....
Guy: why are you interrogating me now...this is our first chat....
Girl: I want to get to know you better now...lol...
Guy: OK, first things first...who are you in the picture, the lady on the right or the lady on the left...
Girl: Does it matter? lol
Guy: yes it does, it matters o
Girl: :-)
Guy: :-(
Girl:I am the lady on the left...
Guy: DAMN!!!!
Girl: ?

At this point, the guy LOGGED OFF, DELETED, and BLOCKED the girl.

Moral of the story
1. NEVER put a profile picture with you and another person (except if you are 'finer' than the other person).
2. If you meet a guy, LET HIM SEE ALL YOUR PICTURES FIRST....be sure to include pictures in which you had no make-up and was not too glamorous....it's better to keep it real

Have a great Friday and dont say Mena's blog never teaches you nothing! lol! :P

xoxo
Memena

Saturday, 5 February 2011

Mena's mental meanderings on current news headlines ( all play on words fully intended,.ha ha)


Happy saturday to you!

So I am going through a few news websites and typing this blog on the cuff. Lets see what stories exists, shall we?

According to Amanpour, I've just left the presidential palace in Cairo where I sat down for an exclusive 30-minute interview. He told me that he is troubled by the violence we have seen in Tahrir Square over the last few days but that his government is not responsible for it. He said he's fed up with being president and would like to leave office now, but cannot, he says, for fear that the country would sink into chaos.

There is something about tyrants in power. Not only are they usually psychopaths, they are completely out of touch with the people they claim to love and overtaken by an unbridled lust mixed with an almost messiah complex, believing they are the only ones who can do the job properly or die trying!. Take for instance the above, extremely callous, statement. He is worth a fortune estimated to be in the range of $60-80million so absolutely cannot identify with what 'his people' are clamouring for.

Tweets from Egypt revolution:

Muslims in Alexandria performin friday prayers,christians create a security cordon to protect them from thugs while they pray.

#BreakingNews: Reuters reports protesters jumping on tanks, shots fired #Jan25 #Egypt
37 seconds ago · reply

AndyMadaki Internet, BIS and SMS services cut off as protests continue in #Egypt... #RSVP

@rallaf: It's nearly midnight in the Arab world: do you know where your dictators are? #Jan25 #Egypt #SidiBouzid #Who'sNexT


sources: various tweets and whats more its still going on. Viva revolution!!

Halle's custody battle

According to Huffington post, Halle's custody battle turns ugly and racial, Halle Berry would like to thank her ex, Gabriel Aubry--for his sperm donation.

"You were only good for one thing... Thanks for the donation," she allegedly wrote in an email according to Radaronline.com.

Halle and Gabriel split last April, reportedly amicably as they worked out a temporary custody agreement for 2-year-old Nahla. Gabriel filed a paternity petition in December, and the custody battle has turned nasty with reports of Gabriel being abusive and throwing around the n-word and other vulgarities. Sources close to Halle also claim Nahla is terrified of her father and cries when he visits.


Only one thing ke? This is a relationship we are talking about? Halle never talk true!


Lindsey Lohan faces charges for jewellry theft: Lohan who just left three months of rehab, is being charged with Felony Grand Theft for allegedly stealing jewelry from a Los Angeles store last week, TMZ reports. The charges will be filed as early as Monday.

The charges come after the LAPD began to investigate video surveillance that showed her with the necklace in the store, and photos of Lohan a week later showing her wearing a necklace that looks astoundingly similar. After TMZ broke the story about her alleged theft, a Lohan friend returned the necklace to the store.

If she's guilty, Lohan could face jail time, especially since a conviction would violate the terms of her probation.


Lindsey Lohan is from a very well to do home. Yes she has faced a number of disappoinments, a number of felonies and is a recovering addict, but for one who has broken the law one too many times, it is mind boggling why she had to do this.... if indeed she did (disclaimer intact)

The here has been a lot of blog buzz in the Nigerian circles about this video, specifically the lack of Nigerian women in it. I am more perturbed by this irritating use of 'swagger' that has made its way into 'popular' Naija circles. If anyone says 'Swagger' again, I swear I will....!!!!@@!

Stella got her groove back...
According to Dimokokorkus Star actress, Stella Damasus is in a fresh romance.
This is less than a year after her short lived marriage to Emeka Nzeribe hit the rocks.
Her latest care giver is identified as Mofe Duncan.He is listed as a man about town based in Abuja. He is further tagged as into the world of production (the organisation and supervision of the making of movie, broadcast or recording…), with a sister as an Anchor person in a radio station.
Stella and Duncan are said to be very careful about making noise about the relationship. Despite this, insiders claim they have attended a couple of events under the pretext of being just friends.


Dont mean to be pedantic, but what does the length of time matter? Why should it matter that she is 'allegedly' in a 'fresh' romance, in less than a year after her previous one allegedly crashed? Time has f*@k all to do with it!

AS ALLEGATIONS OF INFIDELITY MOUNTS
HUBBY STRIPS CAROLINE DANJUMA NAKED BEFORE DOMESTIC STAFF.Because of these allegations she has been incarcerated in her parkview home and placed
incommunicado by the hubby after being stripped naked in her matrimonial home in front of the domestic staff,but for her husbands daughter named mary,caro would have been pushed out of her supposed home in parkview.

The actress has been forbidden access to twitter,facebook and any other social network online,the only time she gets to know what is happening is only when the husbands daughter mary visits her in her mini prison .
Guepard productions/records,the company caro runs was finally closed down on the 29th
of december 2010 under ty danjumas instruction


This is alarming if its true. Cheating is always painful but the fact is you cannot control another, the best you can do is try to reconcile or else divorce the guilty party. Going as far as imprisonment is ..quite frankly..breaking the law! That said I take it with a pinch of salt, at least for now.

False rape charges
Temitope Adenugba, 24, found guilty of fake rape charges against Ogunmola Ogukola, cleaner Mr Ogunmola said she had destroyed ‘my reputation, my confidence and my life.She did it – so she could get an extension on her university coursework.

This was a very cruel and selfish thing to do! What kind of woman is she to make that kind of statement in the first place, just for an extension? What if she got away with it, can she live with herself?
Because these sort of accusation sticks and many men have had their lives ruined as a result.

Take the case of Fadayomi, who was falsely accused of rape but luckily was cleared! The judge revealed how 18 months earlier the same woman had made an allegation of rape.He said the case never reached court because it was 'lacking in credibility', but the accused man committed suicide 'when facing that allegation'.
After failing to have this first 'rapist' brought to court, the woman set about framing Mr Fadayomi, a stranger she met in a nightclub.
The woman claimed Mr Fadayomi attacked her in a house he shared in Walkley, Sheffield.
But a friend, who was with her that evening, told the court the woman danced and kissed Mr Fadayomi, boasting: 'I'm going to have his body tonight.'

The woman later told her friend she planned to accuse the student of rape, saying: 'He is not going to get away with it, I've got evidence this time.'

Mr Fadayomi told the jury the woman had agreed to sex. He said: 'She never told me to stop and neither did she resist.'

The student, from Nigeria, was doing a biomedical sciences course at the University of East London, but the incident happened in October when he went to Sheffield to do a ten-week music production course during a study break.

After the case Mr Fadayomi recalled how the woman propositioned him by telling him she liked his 'perfume' and that 'she wouldn't mind having me that night'.

They later returned to his house, where they had sex. Mr Fadayomi then gave her £8 for a taxi and she left. He said he went out to buy food at 6am and police were waiting for him on his return.

Mr Fadayomi said of his ordeal: 'My life has been hell for the last seven months. I thought about taking my own life.

'I've not been able to sleep properly since all this happened. Some of my friends shunned me and my parents in Nigeria were heartbroken and scared of what might happen to me.'

Naheed Hussain, Chief Crown Prosecutor for CPS South Yorkshire, last night defended the decision to bring the case but said he would conduct a review following the judge's comments 'to see if any lessons can be learned'.

He said: 'The decision to prosecute was taken by a senior lawyer. We were satisfied there was sufficient evidence not only from the complainant but from another witness whose evidence supported that of the complainant.'

The law allows defendants accused of rape to be named, but the government intends to introduce anonymity for alleged rapists until conviction.


WELL WHY SHOULD SHE BE ALLOWED HER ANONYMITY when these men lives have been destroyed, because just like pedophile charges, rape charges are hard to erase even when found not guilty of the offence...just as Micheal Jackson..

I pray for those falsely accused to find justice as this man did, who knows how many men are paying for 'rape crimes' they did not commit?


Bangladeshi girl whipped too death after being raped by cousin


The High Court yesterday ordered district officials in Shariatpur to explain why they failed to protect 14-year-old rape victim Hena from being whipped to death as per a fatwa on Monday.The reports said Hena was raped by her 40-year-old relative Mahbub on Sunday. Next day, a fatwa was announced at a village arbitration that she must be given 100 lashes. She fell unconscious after nearly 80 lashes.

Fatally injured Hena was rushed to Naria health complex where she succumbed to her injuries
.

I cry in frustration when I read such tales, like literally tears fall on to the keyboards. WHAT A LIFE, so she was raped at 14 and was still beaten to death? What kind of society will allow this kind of 'culture' thrive??? When I speak about how women are being treated, I am immediately labelled as a feminist..only in the Nigerian sense of the word feminist= man hater. Rivetting! I wish those that label me, can kindly rationalise this extremely devilish act! I mean why will you beat up any woman, let alone a 14year old teenager. And you flogged her till she died? How archaic and inhuman, how intolerant and barbaric. What kind of morons are these people? Why are they frightened of the sexuality of women that they try to control it or else destroy it? What is with the perverted sexual obsession with very young girls?

On the plus side, their law seems to be taken the right steps, for instance Following three writ petitions, the court directed the authorities concerned to take punitive action against people involved in enforcing fatwa against women.

It also observed that infliction of brutal punishment including caning, whipping and beating at local salish [arbitration] by persons devoid of judicial authority constitutes violation of the constitutional rights. Meanwhile, another HC bench yesterday directed the law enforcement agencies to submit a report to it within three weeks on what steps have been taken following this incident in the light of its judgement on extra-judicial punishment.


What a life! I guess that will suffice for the rape and brutal killing of a 14yr old teenage. I have to stop here before I get uncivil with my disgust

Wednesday, 2 February 2011

.....and on a lighter note: Are you an AJEBOTA or AJEPAKO .... :P



Hiya
Just noticed I had to many serious mental meanderings lately, so decided to go lighter route. This is similar to my telesales joke. Enjoy


1. If every morning after you wake up, your folks give you a hug and a kiss before sending you off to school, then you might be an AJEBOTA. But if them toss you beta slap for not kneeling down or prostrating "properly", you are definitely PAKO! Like my guy wey im papa ask am one day; NA GREET YOU DEY GREET ME ABI YOU DEY TRY CATSH SHICKEN?
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Is the picture, offensive or hilarious? depends on your perspective baby! xxx



2. If as a young lady, before you even dare stepping outside you put on at least a pair of jeans and a T-shirt with a face cap on with matching sneakers, you could pass for an AJEBOTA. But if you repeatedly nonchalantly tie only wrapper round your chest, u throway leg inside foam slippers and waka go Mama Bomboy kiosk to buy maggi seasoning cube, your PAKONESS don attain xtra height.

3. If your folks, perhaps through an exclusive Country Club, introduced you to a variety of sports like cricket, golf or polo, we would agree that you're an AJEBOTA. But if motor don avoid jamming u repeatedly from either playing "ten-ten", "su-way" or "set (5 per side soccer)", no long thing when I just say u be HEAVY PAKO.

4. If your clothes were bought exclusively from abroad and you were wearing the latest and most popular name brands that made everybody else wonder, I will classify you as an AJEBOTA. But whereby you specialize for "Boskona" (trying your clothes in a makeshift stall before you purchase) pricing, you are HEAVILY ENPAKOIATED.
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handsfree!


5. If you were the type to get dropped in school and picked up by a driver designated to do so by your parents, I'll qualify you as an AJEBOTA. But if you hold world record of flying "DANFO" and "MOLUE a.k.a. FUNKY TRAIN" in motion or jumping down before them even match brake and you no dey ever wound, I HAIL YOUR PAKO STANDS.

6. If you were familiar and current with the latest things in vogue, I'll rate you as an AJEBOTA. But if the 1st day you see person wear NIKE chucks and you begin wonder why im put yoruba girl name untop am, PAKOISM don skatta your head.

7. If you ever toasted a girl/guy speaking perfect Queens English with the latest "fo-ne" slangs and acting "all cool", I think you fall into the AJEBOTA category. But if your type dey approach babe/bobo with tribal mark wey no even sabi ordinary "is & was", you con mix am with your very strong and conk native dialect and you still dey try to show yourself with "ibon (bad English)" for the small grammar wey you think say you know, you are genetically PAKOlised.
Courtesy of NWG
Happy new year to those that have as wacky a sense of humour as i do ;)

8. If you either have a dry cleaner that picks up your family clothing and returns them washed, ironed and folded, or maybe you personally take them there to get the same job done, or you have a washing machine in the house and maid who finalizes the rest part, we'll fit you into the AJEBOTA clan. But then, if you dey use one full iron bucket of OMO to soak your "cloth (plural for cloth in pidgin)", den u spread untop concrete-slab for "super scrub" with Kongi soap to hustle that troublesome collar, dip in back & forth until e turn to milk colour, hand-squeeze am with your upper bodi facing 1 direction while d cloth face d opposite direction, snap and flap d cloth in mid-air like 15 times to discharge (remove) d wrinkles before u use "wooden peg" to hold am for back-yard rope or better yet, lay am over your corrugated iron fence, NNA MENNNNNNNNN, your PAKO level don nearly cross perfect 10!!!!!!!!


9. If you happen to do emergency laundry for an outfit you need to wear in a very short while, you pop it into a dryer and hit buttons to get it ready, some how, some way, you're an AJEBOTA. But if after washing, u squeeze it out, carry towel, roll am inside d towel and another person dey d other end make una for pull with force to drain d water come outside (what we refer to as "TOWEL DRYING" in KC), and den finally u use your coal iron steam-dry am, u be PAKO oooooo!!!!

10. If every summer after school your idea of a holiday is looking forward to yet another trip to Jand or Yankee, you are an in-born AJEBOTA. But if u begin jump up because say una dey go village for New Yam Festival and hunting seasons dey coincide, hence u fit finally throway your "Egungun" outfit and flex d new 1, no vex when I say u be PAKO.



STREET! SEXUAL!! HARRASMENT!!!

What is Street Harassment? It is unwelcome harassment of a sexual nature, or based upon the receiving party's sex or gender.

But it happens on the street.




A few days ago, I started noticing that more and more men were making more comments to me while walking down the street. Most of the time it is a friendly compliment like “hello beautiful” to which I reply “thanks” and I keep on going. Now that the weather is warm and people are shedding their coats it has gotten worse for me. Approximately two weeks ago, after work, I was walking into Walgreens passing a man who I generally see every day. I acknowledged his presence with a respectful hello and walked in to the store. When leaving the store the man looked at me along with another gentleman and the man said, “f@#k her, she only f@#k’s with white boys any way”. I took the usual tack and walked away said nothing.

Last week, another incident occurred when again I was walking towards Walgreens. A man rather loudly to his friends said, “I wish I could take that ass home every night.” He like his friends began to laugh. They thought I was a joke. I again took the usual tack and said nothing.

Last Friday, on my way home from work I was standing at the bus stop when man in a pickup truck with a confederate decal felt like he had the right to ask me if “it must be a hard time for yall working girls, aint it, aint it?” Even though I was angry I maintained my dignity by not acknowledging his presence. So once again I said nothing.


Yesterday, I was walking on Main Street again and a man was looking at my behind. I turned around and looked at him the way he looked at me. The man was stunned. I was fed up and the man walked away embarrassed.

These incidents occur in the lives of many girls and women daily. Like many others, this has been happening to me since I was a young girl. It is so bad that even today I dread walking past crowd of men. I am sickened at the thought of walking past the park everyday to my bus stop. To avoid it, I thought about walking about five minutes away towards another bus stop. I questioned myself and asked why do people degrade someone in public they do not know? It was never my attire. If you know me, you know that I am very conservative in my choice of clothing. I figured out that women could walk around in bags and these men still would say something disgusting. On the way to work I had to ask myself why should I adjust my life for these people. I decided I will not.

People have a right to say as they will. But I do have a right to walk down the street without fear of harassment or embarrassment. Some may see me as just a piece of ass but I know I am highly intelligent well-rounded woman. I, like all women, are more than breast and ass. I am a woman with a soul. I am a woman that listens to Bach and Jay-Z. I can see the beauty of art and music from the Baroque period and enjoy the detail and modernism of street art. I am more than a piece of ass. I am a friend, sister, a cousin, and a daughter. I am a human being. Imagine if I was your cousin, sister, your wife or your mother. How would you feel if some man off the street said that to them? I am fed up and angry. I want to stand up to people so they will not do this to other women but I am afraid of the repercussions because they street harassers tend to be violent individuals.

The law says:

Serial acts of public lewdness. A person is guilty of serial acts of public lewdness when two or more times within any three-year period he or she intentionally exposes the private or intimate parts of his or her body in a lewd manner or commits any other lewd act (a) in a public place, or (b) in private premises under circumstances in which he or she may readily be observed from either a public place or from other private premises, and with intent that he or she be so observed. A person who commits serial acts of public lewdness shall be guilty of a class A misdemeanor”

In my humble opinion, street harassment is nothing more than an act of power. It is a sign of a weak victimizer attempting take power away from the victim. If a person is attracted to another human being how about trying to be kind? Has anyone ever heard of the saying, "you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar".

In a article called Understanding Street Harassment by Amy Scotfield it stated that,

“typical harassment experiences were found to occur between 12 pm and 6 pm, while on the street, at a construction site or in a parking lot. "This makes sense and fits the model because it's when people are out in the world and active, The consequences of such incidents include "increased self objectification, restriction of movement and fear of rape."


UNDERSTANDING THE DARKER SIDE OF STREET HARRASMENT




Women Savagely Beaten After Rejecting Come-On

After two young women refused a Brooklyn man's advances during a late night pizza stop last month, the failed pick-up turned into a violent assault, leaving one women with a fractured jaw and another nearly blinded.

…at 3:50 a.m. at John & Tony's Pizzeria on First Avenue at 60th Street on March 20th, when they were approached by 31-year-old Dzemal Kolenovic. Christine (pictured) says that after she responded to his advances by asking him to leave her alone, he became abusive, yelling, "F- - - you, bitches. You whores."
And when they stepped outside, Kolenovic was waiting, and allegedly threw Christine to the sidewalk. She says, "I asked him, 'Why are you doing this?' and he said, 'Because I'm Albanian, I can do whatever the f- - - I want.' " Her friend tried to dial 911 on her cellphone, but Kolenovic smacked it out of her hands and fractured her jaw, according to police. He then continued beating Christine, who recalls that "first he punched me once in the right eye and then he got really wound up and hit my left eye.”



Van crashes in Midtown; kills pregnant woman driver allegedly attempted to flirt with


A 29-year-old pregnant woman was killed Friday in Manhattan when a van driver who was catcalling her and a co-worker lost control and plowed into them, police sources and witnesses said.
Cops arrested Keston Brown, 27, of the Bronx, and charged him with driving while intoxicated and possession of marijuana.
Sources said Brown, who has prior arrests, was flirting with the women while driving by them. When they spurned him, he lost his temper - and control of the van, they said.



Women Strike Back Online Against Street Harassment

NEW YORK (WOMENSENEWS)--On a cold day in February, Emily May, a 25-year-old employee for a low-income housing and employment nonprofit in New York, bundled up and left work.

As she turned onto Broadway, the main north-south thoroughfare in Manhattan, two men heading toward her interrupted her thoughts. One tapped his friend and gave May a long look up and down.

"Yo baby, you're gorgeous!" the man said to her.
"I wanna hit that!"

May whipped out her camera phone.

"Sir, can I take your picture?"

"Why do you want to take my picture?"

"Because I'm taking pictures of everyone who thinks I'm pretty today."


What the men did not know was that May is part of a growing movement of women around the country and the globe turning the table on harassers.


Women Strike Back Online Against Street Harassment

Here are some stories from Tolerance.org

When I was 13 years old, I was walking down a heavily trafficked street in my hometown. It was a spring day -- and I remember I had just washed my hair, so it was damp. I had on white Keds, white shorts, and a pink sleeveless top. I don't remember where I was headed, but I do remember the heckle that came from a much older man in a car. It seemed innocent enough: "Hey, white shorts!" Whistle ...
I was surprised -- it hadn't ever happened to me before, a man "noticing" me in public. But, I also felt sexualized in an uncomfortable way. I felt dirty. I felt self-conscious as I walked back home. I walked clunkily -- not in my usual manner. I watched the street continually, hoping that the man's car wouldn't appear again.
It didn't.
When I got home, I went up into my room. I looked at my white shorts -- after all, that's what he had called me -- "Hey, white shorts!" And I saw that, from behind, you could see my panty line -- and the little blue flowers of my underwear, too. I cried.
That was the last day I ever wore white shorts -- or anything white on the bottom half of my body. It's been 17 years.
J.H., Texas




I been out with two of my friends on a Friday night in the city. We caught the night bus, and there was only us when we both stepped on. At the next stop two men got on a sat in front of us.
The first thing that one of these guys did was lean over the seat and say to us, "hey ladies what are you doing tonight." I, being very mouthy, said, "nothing with you." He then got very angry and started insulting us.
When it was revealed that we were three lesbians he suddenly changed his mind and wanted to watch us. When I corrected him and said, "unlike men we don't want to f**k every friend we have!" he very upset and he started insulting us saying it was "unnatural" and "god did not make people that way." However, five minutes before that he wanted to watch.
The bus ride ended with more insults and him spitting in our the faces. He grabbed me so hard on my wool coat and sweater covered arm that I had a huge bruise for about two weeks. Luckily my friends were there to help me.
J.M.


No one regardless of his or her station in life, race, class, religion etc deserves this. Remember the old saying that “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”. Well I am here to say it is untrue. Words do hurt but I will not let it have power over me.