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Tuesday, 28 June 2011


THIS IS A TRUE LIFE STORY! I AM GUTTED. Wrote about this here and here

I just got this from facebook and was so moved I had to publish it here.

The lady in this photo is allegedly called Titi who allegedly used to work at Skye bank VI branch. She was allegedly stabbed to death on June 24th by the man beside her. They were married for 2 years and had a child. I am still awaiting for more corrobarative evidence to the event.

I wrote about domestic violence over here. and will not stop writing about it. Especially in barbaric Africa where some defend the indefensible by somehow blaming the DEAD victim of not being submissive enough. The same portion that states that a woman should submit to her huband also states that men should love their wife as christ love the church enough to die for it. But that would be forgotten . Whats worse in Nigeria, (and if story is true) the psycopath will go scot free, set free by fellow murderers and their sympathizers.

In my opinion This case further supports the argument in favour of the death penalty he took a life and should loose his. I am so angry! But will cool down now till I get more details!!!!

Monday, 27 June 2011

But......Why do men have nipples?


I am writing from a very sunny place indeed. Anyways found this online, it answers the groundbreaking question: why do men have nipples???

Enjoy ;)

All humans begin life in the womb as females. If no Y chromosome is present in the foetus, then the embryo will continue to develop as and be born as a female. If there is a Y chromosome present in the embryo, the male sex hormone testosterone restricts the full development of breasts to just nipples, the labia fuse to become the scrotum and clitoris develops fully to become a penis. If the Y chromosome prevails in producing a male, this is not done without a fight. Male babies are weaker as a result than female ones, occounting for the slightly higher death rate in male babies.

Terence Hollingworth, Blagnac, France

Because we are built to a common pattern. All people contain the genetic information to be either male or female, but in the vast majority of people only one alternative develops.

All humans are born with rudimentary potential breasts. In the case of women they are triggered to develop hormonally as a secondary sexual characteristic. Men not only have nipples, but undeveloped (pre-pubescent) breasts. Anyway, they have entertainment value.

Quentin Langley, Woking, UK

So we know when it's time to put on a jumper.

David Lloyd, Oxford, UK

Chan Yut Wah, Ipoh, Perak Malaysia
so we can suffer from mammary-deficit-jealousy-syndrome. O.K., so i made the name up, but it's true.

ranald, edinburgh
Simple - To be clamped.....

Hayley Whitten, Southend on sea UK
To practice

Meurig Williams, Deeside Clwyd
Beer tits would look ridiculous without them.

Colm, Derry South Korea
So we can have them pierced.

Michael, Barnstaple UK
to stop their chest fraying

Cassie, Birmingham UK
So that men can have the breast of both worlds.

Colin Boyd, Saskatoon Canada
We can share the joys of parenthood by acting as pacifiers - human dummies - for one or two offspring while the sibling(s) are enjoying the real thing. Surely.

Duncan, Marske-by-the-Sea
If they don't have nipples their body looks empty.

Joyce, London, UK
To keep the basic balance in the body shape of a woman and a man.

Bright Stone, Shanghai. China
To twist, so females can punish men if they've been naughty.

Charlotte Glebocki,
So you can point if your hands are otherwise engaged.

Richard Williams, Isle of Wight, England
How else would we be able to attach nipple clamps?

Gareth , London, UK
To act as thermometers to tell when there is a change in the atmosphere, they normally get hard for a while ... well mine at least.

Daniel Richardson, St Georges, Grenada
So my friends can make fun of me when I choose not to wear a jacket from the car to the pub in the winter time.

Joel, Seattle, US
This is one of the many questions that i believe there is no logical answer to, one of the many we will never get a logical answer to.

Rose Diane, Whitney point, NY USA
So we can challenge cows to milk making contests!

Billy Joel, Wisconsin, Tennessee Malaysia
To keep the balance of science. Everything is balanced out, such as good and evil. That's the only logic I can find in it. Otherwise, I truly have no honest idea as to why we have nipples. I suppose that we have them due to us having traits as a male and female before the actual birth. It's probably something along the lines of them developing into breasts if you are female and them just settling where they are if you are destined to be male. Again, I have no clue.

Jon The Curious, Patchogue Okinawa, Japan
Just in case!

Jimmy, Sydney, Australia
To help our creator to put the breastbone right in the middle.

Louis van de Geijn, Renkum, Netherlands
Ask Brian Honeyman of the law Society of England and Wales ...he knows everything ...

I reckon men were females before becoming males.

Kaylene Briant, Australia
Because we are built to a common pattern. But in the process, female breasts happens to be more prominent!

Jhune Catubag, ParaƱaque, Philippines
The gene for nipples is found in the X chromosome, which we all have as we start off as females. Testosterone from the Y chromosome restricts the breasts developing any further.... Well that's my theory.

Heather Kilsby, Durham England
Men have nipples because they'd look plain wrong without them

Morven Gailey aged 7, Stroud England
I have to agree with my fellow oxonian,it is purely an indication of temperature,and a jolly good way of chastisement,a good tweek can stop even the naughtiest behaviour.

janine Bailey, Oxford
I was short on male platty fish so I stole one from where I work. After about a month it turned into a female. Evidently some creatures can change gender after birth. Nipples are there just in case.

Robin Thompson, Stockton, Cleveland
I'm not really sure why but I'm so glad I have mine to tweak, at work or on the bus. Sometimes on the toilet reading the paper or while watching my neighbours through their window. They bought a rowing machine.

Andrew Anderson, Pakuranga, Auckland, New Zealand
The same reason women have beards!

Graham Foskett, Treakle, Bumstead
Men have nipples because they help men find water. Walk to where they point and when they cross, you're above water! Simple. Mainly why men drink so much beer, I guess.

Aaron Goodwin, Middle of England
Because people like me need something to play with when bored...

Adam Newsham, Preston
So your girlfriend can suck them ;)

Jake Reed, Derby
Because nipples are a turn-on

Malika Othman, Scunthorpe
Something else for the female to suck on. ;P

Lucy Campbell, Rugby, Warwickshire
so when theres no boobs around you can pretend your a woman and play with yourself ;D

Dean, Jack and Connor, Derby england
So if a man decides to have a sex change it makes the surgeons job easier?

Harry Machin, Burslem, UK
Because with out them men would get jealous

Bethanie Lucas, manchester
Oh my, some people are odd...

Sara Rickard, Newry, Ireland
So my girlfriend (with her jedi powers) can flick them both square on and make me cry like a girl.

Louis Wood, Wellington, UK
Rudimentary nipples on a male are just for fun. They have no useful purpose - like a bullet with no gun. We cannot reach to suck them, if we could there'd be no point; they make no milk, and consequently only disappoint.

Alan Gibbs, Southport, England, UK
Vestigiality - One of the strongest evidences for the Theory of Evolution. Creationism can never explain nipples in men, wisdom teeth, vermiform appendix etc.

Steve Martin, New York USA
The male nipple is an erogenous zone; manipulation of it during sexual interaction greatly increases the pleasure. i am an older male posing naked for art classes; never mind erections... my nipples (enlarged over the years from being handled) have been found more of a sexual turn-on during these sessions

Edo Deweert, Rimbey, Canada

So do you agree with these cerebral minds or do you have your own theory to enlighten me with? :)))


Saturday, 11 June 2011

S*C*A*N*D*A*L IN BLOGSVILLE (Treating latest Nigerianslangs) LOL


I sincerely appreciate everyone who follows this blog.
NEWBIES: I usually follow new members immediately but just in case I didnt please leave a comment with a link to your blog and I will follow as soon as I log in. Also newbies if you are looking for a loyal dedicated network of people to follow your blog, then visit the names I highlighted in this blog, read their awesome blogs and if as impressed as I am, follow and interact with them. They will do the same to you and You wont regret it. :-)

Regular Followers: Helllloooow! How are you doing?? Absolutely fine I hope! *Ahem* *blushing* my lovely co-bloggers,*seriously blushing* you might have noticed that I dont always comment on my own post after your comments, please be patient with a fat girl (am a very lazy last minute person whose big derriere (ikebe)doesnot allow for me work as efficiently as I used to... and no I dont type with my ass :P) but each time you comment, I hope you notice that I immediately go to your latest round of blogs,(if any) read them and share my thoughts?? Mwah!

Eitherway I am very grateful for each and every interaction, its a labour of love having to read so many stories and contributing one's thoughts to each blog as we try to encourage each other. So this piece is in honor of my tight-knit network of bloggers who come rain or shine or very dry stories still take out time to encourage me to keep posting. In this particular blog I mentioned a lot of you and placed links to your blogs but if perchance your names were left out its because I dont know how well you take certain jokes. You see *sprinkling holy water* my jokes can be dirty so I used those who I am certain do not take themselves too seriously and are as crazy, humorous and funloving as I am. I hope you understand? God bless you all very much

To the business of the day...*polishing halo*...So I found this piece from a really really old facebook group, loved it and decided to share it here..Enjoy

Treating latest slangs-

Okay i have a cousin in university who seems to enjoy 'moonlighting' at my place most weekends (personally it works for me, who else to send on errands) so i get to learn all sorts of new slangs each week..
Let me give you a rundown on the latest jibe in Nigeria .. emmmm, now i would be very glad if most people do not beef me for "educating them"

A. Couple yourself
This commonly used to advice a person when they make a serious mistake ala shit for church or begins to misbehave or embarrass their friends in public,
Example: Ibhade's underwear is showing, I would say Ibhade, couple yourself or say Ebz's VPL is too obvious I would ask her to couple herself or say Mamuje, gets drunk at a party and falls over numerous times, i would walk up to her and say babe “couple yourself”

Or say Barack Obama takes me out on our dream date and he cant get enough of me and keeps trying to drag me into the toilet to “arrange" me i would say to him “President of the united states, kindly couple yourself”

B. Arrange:
Arrange is used to describe doing things unconventionally and most times illegally but getting exceptional results
Like lets say at KitKat's birthhday, she couldn’t afford champagne at the club, so muse origins Adiya sneaks drinks into the club via her handbag ...she would have arranged or say she takes Oke, 9jafoodie, Gbemisoke, Musco, Efua,prism, real world, thinkaboutit naturalnigerian,Chizy, wildboy, Ibhade, Theatrenotes, Ginger, Myne, Mamuje, NuttyJay, me and other friends clubbing, but cant pay the full gate fee, so she bribes the bouncers to get in... she would be said to have arranged, but if shes caught and ends up embarrassing we bloggers we would be miffed and decide to "treat her fuckup"

C. Treat her Fuck up"
treating mails and memos is a common daily task which most of us have become accustomed to but hate, because it takes too much time, however it is used in a slightly different manner in 'youth speak' example... me having a typographical error in my response to a thread/blog and a group of oversabi (overzealous) anonymous's starts correcting me, then I decide to respond to the anons and extract my pound of flesh...hence i have treated their fuck up!

or say we ask Theatrenotes to use our "last card" to buy drinks and he spends it on credits to call a chic, so when he gets back we will generally "" brush him" hence we have treated his fuckup.

D.brush him"
brushing involves beating the crap out of someone for doing anything deemed wrong.
say Theatrenotes goes to movida but in the name of 'looking for an inspiration for his next blog' he ends up watching a guy wank on a street light, i would suggest we "brush him" instead of "treating his fuckup" if he was the guy wanking then we would "treat his fuckup".

E: shine the congo
shining the congo should not be misconstrued to a person literarily trying to cleaning/waxing... the .. emmm i'm stuck here.. well its a topic i believe the gbedu master aka specialist currently taking back door master class can treat, i suggest Theatrenotes manages this ..

F: last card
last card is normally used for fall back cash, money that should normally be saved for rainy or somewhat dry days...
example lilyjohnson is broke but wants to go clubbing, she gets to a club and uses her last card to enter a club and couldn't buy booze.., she should have "shined his eye"
G: shine your eye
shine your eye means being sharp, smart, emm street wise, native intelligence..etc, say finding ways to sort out problems without anyone else figuring it out
A-naija-great and Iphyigbogirl are going to a9jagr8's place by LAMATA BRT but cant afford to pay for two seats, so iphy laps a9jagr8..hence she has shined her eye, or iphy wants to buy spirits at a much lower cost, she goes to apongbon and buys a bottle of Henessy for 1000 naira, however the shop owner gives her a well sealed bottle of henessy which actually contains squadron, and iphy falls for it, this means she did not shine her eye, and when eventually she pours Myne a drink at home and they realise its fake she would be ashamed and could be said to have "fall her hand"

H. Fall your hand
fall your hand means to disgrace someone or embarass some one,
example.. Surprise is "scoping" Oloriwith a wonderful gift and telling her about how much she means to him and he would sell himsef to get her whatever she wants, (meanwhile he asked a guy at ojuelegba to "arrange" it), then Henry walks in and says "" the tout you asked to bring the stolen goods is waiting outside to be paid".. Henry has fallen Surprise's hand.

I: Market fall press You
a nice correct chic like Ginger needs a hot date or a company ball and she starts looking for a date, unfortunately things dont work out so she has to go with Theatrenotes,(obviously not even her last choice or fall back plan) it means market don fall press her

J: Scoping
Scoping can be used to describe when a guy or girl is seriously admiring someone they are interested in say at an event, and can also be used to catch the attention of an admirer or hook up with someone.
example.. NuttyJ at a bar and she sees DynamiqueProf walk in and starts smiling and strutting her stuff to impress him, she will be trying to "scope" him, and when that doesnt work she will buy him a drink ... she would be trying to scope him..

K. Cut out...
it means to escape being caught by people, when you have done something wrong
Rustygeek finally convinces WiseSage to hook up and while they are french kissing in Wisesage's flat her body builder boyfriend comes unexpectdly... rustygeek will jump out the window and would be said to have cut out...
or Theatrenotes and this lady decide to have sex and she wants to stay on top... it will be wise of him to cut out...

there are lots of other latest slangs , but its 2.00am on a sunday and, i have been up since 12 am on blospot and i believe this blog will lead to an early grave for me, so it will be wise to cut out now...before people read this and try to treat my fuck up, arrange me for scoping and brush me...:-P

Have a great great week :)*Legs it!* (runs 440)
p.s: *comes back to add*
Am travelling to Nigeria this month so might be even more erratic than usual. But I will try and keep it up! xxxx (runs away again)

Wednesday, 8 June 2011


She bathed us, loved us with all she had, looked after us. She always wanted the most simple of things and was very good at keeping gifts in prestine shape.She gave us a good deal of....a n y t h i n g.Nothing was too much for her to do. She brought us up and served a s a good source of our family history. yes she helped her only daughter,from the beginning till the end, i dont know how she(daughter) can survive this..

She was a calming influence, an assurance that every thing would be alright. She never complained,always having a laugh,joke,or story from the past. Even when she got upset,her voice was so gentle, it soothed you rather than grates you.

I remember when a sibling came home on holidays, she wanted to see if his nether see this sibling,as an infant, had accidentally slipped into a pot of hot water,his skin was badly burned, so she wanted to check if that area turned out alright...Yes, a very authentic source of family

I can remember when her husband died, i took a hanky and was cleaning her sweat,i dont KNOW why i remember that moment.. i could feel truly free with her. My heart bleeds

Towards the end,she became the child and i was the adult,taking care of her, gently assuring her about Gods Promises. After her first stroke, i remember always telling her in a gentle way that certain foods should be avoided..she never agreed with me.does it matter now?

Oh Gosh do i miss her..i miss her so much,it hurts me. I cant believe..i am gutted. For the first time, i look at the word "gutted" my guts do feel pulled out..

I cant believe that i will never see my grandma many things i feel i should have done better, so many things i would still like to do with her. Couldnt she have waited a bit...?am i being selfish, unreasonable?questioning God? I dont know yet cause i am still in shock..Looking at the aged women i come across on the street, brings back memories.

I love you grandma, till we meet again..i REFUSE to say g o o d b y e,not yet,not now...

Rest in perfect peace in the bosom of the Lord. (did i just write that?)
by Mena on on Sunday, April 20, 2008 at 12:06pm

Saturday, 4 June 2011


Sorry I cannot read and keep silent for the fear of hurting people's sensibilities. I wrote about it last year yes, but this madness has to be blogged about till something happens. What is it with domestic violence??? What will make you strike and kill your spouse when you can so easily seperate from them???
What is it with domestic violence??? Some cultures actually have guidelines for wifebeating.
My question is what will make you strike and kill your spouse when you can so easily seperate from them???

Imagine this article based in Los Angeles California where it was reported that a Nigerian RN wife was brutally murdered by her husband. The viciousness of the attack was such that the man eventually tied the dead body of his wife to his truck and dragged her dead body through the roads and streets of Southern California until her skull gave up its cranial contents. He was eventually arrested, charged, tried and convicted for first degree murder with special circumstance which carries the death penalty! He is presently awaiting a date with the lethal injection in a cold segregated death-row prison cell!

Think I am overreacting, think again.

The lady in this picture is Tope Aduni Olabiwoninu Douherty, who was allegedly beaten up by her then boyfriend, Tunde Ologundudu.

Recently, the police in Delhi has arrested a Nigerian man Innocent Nwayo who allegedly strangulated his live-in girlfriend, stuffed her body in a bag and left it in a rented flat in West Delhi fleeing to Mumbai.

One of Nigeria’s most respected poet and professor of English and Literature, Dubem Okafor died in the United States after shooting his wife Cheryl 37.

A Florida based Nigerian pharmacist, Olufemi Ademoye was charged for second degree murder for allegedly killing his wife over what family friends alleged as dispute over the paternity of the couple's 17 year old son.

Mr. Kelechi Charles Emeruwa:- A Nigerian Mr. Kelechi Charles Emeruwa, 41 of Old Umuahia, Abia State was charged and convicted with first degree murder of his estranged wife, 36 year old Registered Nurse, Chidiebere Omenihu Ochulo. Kelechi finally lost it and stabbed his wife, with her own kitchen knife, several times that the fountain left on Julius Ceaser fades in comparison, until she gave up the ghost. "According to the account, Chidiebere had just returned from Nigeria where she bolted away for three weeks to give her late father a lavish burial despite protestations of Mr. Kelechi of the bills that are accruing and payable here in America. She wouldn’t hear any of it, after-all she makes the money; only to return to an angry frustrated maniacal husband who took her kitchen knife and carved her up. It was on New Year’s Day, in her townhouse in the 4200 block of Dunwood Terrace, in the Washington DC suburb of Burtonsville in Montgomery County, Maryland.

In Euless, a suburb of Dallas, another Nigerian husband, Johnny Omorogieva, 45, murdered his wife, Mrs. Isatu Omorogieva, 35, by savagely striking her on the head numerous times with a hammer in the full glare of his 7-year old daughter.

This terrible photo tells another family-related violent incident involving a Nigerian, Mr. Theophilus Ojukwu 46, of Enugwu-Agu, Ihe in Awgu LGA, Enugu State used a mattock (hammer) to bludgeon his deeply asleep RN wife, Melvina Ojukwu, 36, of Umuanebe, also of Ihe, Awgu LGA, Enugu State to a very painful agonizing death. Mr. Theophilus Ojukwu, 46, of Enugwu-Agu, Ihe in Ogwu LGA, Enugu State, who killed his wife in their 5400 block of Barcelona Drive home in Garland, Texas has since been sentenced to life in prison.

It was reported in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution that a Registered Nurse Roseline Unachukwu, 34, and her six children were taken to the family violence shelter, Northwest YWCA in Marietta, Georgia, a suburb of Atlanta, as a result of physical violence. According to people with knowledge of the incident, the poor lady escaped with her life from her husband’s maniacal rage with very severe cuts in her arms which she received while fending off her husband's killer-rage. Her husband, Benjamin Unachukwu from Nnewi, Anambra State, was taken to jail to face two criminal charges with the kitchen-knife weapon of choice as evidence exhibit!

Similarly, in Grand Prairie, a suburb of Dallas, Texas,Mrs. Monireti Abeni Akeredolu, a 46-year old Registered Nurse from Ondo State Nigeria met her untimely death in the hands of her estranged husband, Mr. Ebenezer Akeredolu, Sr., 48. According to the story, Mr. Akeredolu drove several hundred miles from Georgia (where he had moved to nurse his pains at loosing everything he had worked so hard for since coming to the United States several decades ago) to Dallas and pumped several bullets into his ex-wife in day light, with so many people watching the macabre spectacle. Mrs. Monireti died slumped in the wheels of her SUV enroute to a birthday party in her honor – she had just turned 46 a day before

Pictures below are those of Tess Wigwe, wife of The Nigerian ambassador to Kenya, Dr Chijioke Wilcox Wigwe who was allegedly assaulted by the latter in a domestic incident at their residence. The ambassador has been recalled.

Account written by Mr X, London

Location: London England, (South-East) to be precise! The Time? 2113 Hours, Place: Wole's Apartment.
Perfect Scenario: Wole, could not control his anger, lashes out...scream, scream scream! Wole's girlfriend: Screaming... obscenities! Swearing and shouting...
Wole: just wouldn't let it be, more bang bang bang...
Wole's Girl: bruises, cuts, swelling and reddening to face area and a broken nose...mmmh!

Wole's neighbour: a white middle age lonely citizen...This becomes unbearable for him; He dials took just 6 minutes, the police arrives...ambulance is also called...The police have a postive action: "reduce, remove and if possible neutralise the risk"....

Wole's apartment: scattered.
Wole's demeanour: anti police....anger, frustration!
Police: Arrest Wole for GBH. Grievous Bodily Harm.
Wole: tries to resist arrest. Police: taser, taser, Wole...Ahh!
Wole: conveyed to Thamesmead Police Station where the facts are relayed to the custody officer...
Custody officer: Authorises detention at 2320 hours...rights & entitlement given.
Police: fingerprints, DNA of Wole is taken and stored for speculative search...
Police: take a statement from wole's girl and neighbour...
Police: interview Wole 0900 hours the next day with a Solicitor present...
Police: reach a decision to charge Wole with GBH at 1100 hours...
Police: make a representation to custody officer on why bail is not suitable...
Wole: kept in another day to go to court first light...
First Light: Serco security attends to lift Wole to court in shackles...
Wole's clothing were seized for forensics. Wole given a white jump suit...
Wole: appears before Magistrate J J Fanny...she's known to have zero tolerance for domestics! rumour has it, she was abused....mmmh!
Court: find Wole guilty and sentence is pronounced...

Wole: now, has a Police Criminal Record.
Oh, I forgot...Wole is a Social Worker and will be needing a CRB for his next job!

Of course the above takes place in UK where fundamental human rights are respected to the letter. Can you think about a Nigerian version? Nigeria where people tend to leave the issue at hand and conveniently blame the victim.

Someone gets raped at a party becomes why was she wearing that at a party.

Girl gets gangraped by policemen, is interpreted as the girl was a prostitute and deserved it

Father rapes 14yr old daughter is interpreted as she is a witch and seduced me.

Hubby sleeps around and gets hiv and transfers it to his wife gets interpreted as she was not submissive.

Always like that in that barbaric country.

Well here is another account written by Miss X, Nigeria

Location: South East Nigeria as a location...

Wole: Beats up his woman mercilessly

Mrs. Wole: calls up the police station

Police: Madam that’s a domestic affair o, go and beg your husband

Mrs. Wole: calls her family as she always does.

Mrs. Wole’s mother: Patience and Prayers is all you need to survive in husband’s house

Mrs. Wole leaves the house early next morning to Olola (her friend’s) house with her eyes all swollen.

Olola: were you involved in an accident again? (Because that had always been her story)

Mrs. Wole: no o it’s my husband that beat me up always.

Olola: i had always known but I was waiting for you to say it.

Mrs. Wole: I have nowhere to hide, no one to turn to. *breaks down crying*

Olola: Do you want Wole to stop beating you?

Mrs. Wole: yes please help me. I want to still be alive to be my children's mother.

Olola took Mrs. Wole to Gbegulu’s (senior area-boy... also known as FADER) hideout and Mrs. Wole narrated her ordeal. At midnight 6 area boys landed in Wole’s house, they locked-up madam and the kids in the bathroom so it could look like robbery, then took turns in beating up Wole mercilessly stole all his expesive watches and int passport. The area-boys broke one of Wole's arm and he ends up in the hospital on admission for one month and his broken arm in a cast for 6months.

Now Mrs. Wole have learnt the act of fighting by proxy and she already have plans on ground on her next line of action should Wole dare beat her again.

The time has come for people(men and women) who are disturbed by this trend to have a massive awareness campaign to "STOP THE VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN!!!!
Sources Punchonline
Ghana Nation
Wole Street journal
Linda Ikeji
Sahara Reporters

Friday, 3 June 2011

The Truth About Bottled Water!


Well I am an enthusiastic drinker of liquids, which of course includes water, ever since I read that it was a 'healthy thing to do'. During my time in the UK, I have spent a lot of money on bottled water without much of a thought, until I came across this article online and thought it made sense, what do you think?

Imagine you’ve just been given a choice: You have to drink from one of two containers. One container is a cup from your own kitchen, and it contains a product that has passed strict state, federal and local guidelines for cleanliness and quality. Oh, and it’s free. The second container comes from a manufacturing plant somewhere, and its contents—while seemingly identical to your first choice—have not been subjected to the same strict national and local standards. It costs approximately four times more than gasoline. These products both look and taste nearly identical.

Which do you choose?

If you chose beverage A, congratulations: You just saved yourself a whole lot of money, and, perhaps, even contaminants, too. But if you picked beverage B, then you’ll be spending hundreds of unnecessary dollars on bottled water this year. Sure, bottled water is convenient, trendy, and may well be just as pure as what comes out of your tap. But it’s hardly a smart investment for your pocketbook, your body or our planet. Eat This, Not That! decided to take a closer look at what’s behind the pristine images and elegant-sounding names printed on those bottles.

You may actually be drinking tap water.
Case in point: Dasani, a Coca-Cola product. Despite its exotic-sounding name, Dasani is simply purified tap water that’s had minerals added back in. For example, if your Dasani water was bottled at the Coca-Cola Bottling Company in Philadelphia, you’re drinking Philly tap water. But it’s not the only brand of water that relies on city pipes to provide its product. About 25 percent of all bottled water is taken from municipal water sources, including Pepsi’s Aquafina.

Bottled water isn’t always pure.
Scan the labels of the leading brands and you see variations on the words “pure” and “natural” and “pristine” over and over again. And when a Cornell University marketing class studied consumer perceptions of bottled water, they found that people thought it was cleaner, with less bacteria. But that may not actually be true. For example, in a 4-year review that included the testing of 1,000 bottles of water, the Natural Resources Defense Council—one the country’s most ardent environmental crusaders—found that “about 22 percent of the brands we tested contained, in at least one sample, chemical contaminants at levels above strict state health limits.”

It’s not clear where the plastic container ends and the drink begins.
Turns out, when certain plastics are heated at a high temperature, chemicals from the plastics may leach into container’s contents. So there’s been a flurry of speculation recently as to whether the amounts of these chemicals are actually harmful, and whether this is even a concern when it comes to water bottles—which aren’t likely to be placed in boiling water or even a microwave. While the jury is still out on realistic health ramifications, it seems that, yes, small amounts of chemicals from PET water bottles such as antimony—a semi-metal that’s thought to be toxic in large doses—can accumulate the longer bottled water is stored in a hot environment. Which, of course, is probably a good reason to avoid storing bottled water in your garage for six months—or better yet, to just reach for tap instead.

Our country’s high demand for oil isn’t just due to long commutes.

Most water bottles are composed of a plastic called polyethylene terepthalate (PET). Now, to make PET, you need crude oil. Specifically, 17 million barrels of oil are used in the production of PET water bottles ever year, estimate University of Louisville scientists. No wonder the per ounce cost of bottled water rivals that of gasoline. What’s more, 86 percent of 30 billion PET water bottles sold annually are tossed in the trash, instead of being recycled, according to data from the Container Recycling Institute. That’s a lot of waste—waste that will outlive you, your children, and your children’s children. You see, PET bottles take 400 to 1000 years to degrade. Which begs the question: If our current rate of consumption continues, where will we put all of this discarded plastic?

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