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Monday, 26 December 2011


I came to Lagos and immediately the air changed. Firstly the okadas, the hustling and shuffling, potential accidents etc. Then someone really made me angry but hey lets laugh a bit at a recycled joke....Are you an Ajebota or an Ajekpakpo

Are you an Ajebota or an AjekpakpoIf as a young lady, before you even dare stepping outside you put on at least a pair of jeans and a T-shirt with a face cap on with matching sneakers, you could pass for an AJEBOTA. But if you repeatedly nonchalantly tie only wrapper round your chest, u throway leg inside foam slippers and waka go Mama Bomboy kiosk to buy maggi seasoning cube, your PAKONESS don attain xtra height.

If your folks, perhaps through an exclusive Country Club, introduced you to a variety of sports like cricket, golf or polo, we would agree that you're an AJEBOTA. But if motor don avoid jamming u repeatedly from either playing "ten-ten", "su-way" or "set (5 per side soccer)", no long thing when I just say u be HEAVY PAKO.

If your clothes were bought exclusively from abroad and you were wearing the latest and most popular name brands that made everybody else wonder, I will classify you as an AJEBOTA. But whereby you specialize for "Boskona" (trying your clothes in a makeshift stall before you purchase) pricing, you are HEAVILY ENPAKOIATED.

If you were the type to get dropped in school and picked up by a driver designated to do so by your parents, I'll qualify you as an AJEBOTA. But if you hold world record of flying "DANFO" and "MOLUE a.k.a. FUNKY TRAIN" in motion or jumping down before them even match brake and you no dey ever wound, I HAIL YOUR PAKO STANDS.

If you were familiar and current with the latest things in vogue, I'll rate you as an AJEBOTA. But if the 1st day you see person wear NIKE chucks and you begin wonder why im put yoruba girl name untop am, PAKOISM don skatta your head.

If you ever toasted a girl/guy speaking perfect Queens English with the latest "fo-ne" slangs and acting "all cool", I think you fall into the AJEBOTA category. But if your type dey approach babe/bobo with tribal mark wey no even sabi ordinary "is & was", you con mix am with your very strong and conk native dialect and you still dey try to show yourself with "ibon (bad English)" for the small grammar wey you think say you know, you are genetically PAKOlised.

If you either have a dry cleaner that picks up your family clothing and returns them washed, ironed and folded, or maybe you personally take them there to get the same job done, or you have a washing machine in the house and maid who finalizes the rest part, we'll fit you into the AJEBOTA clan. But then, if you dey use one full iron bucket of OMO to soak your "cloth (plural for cloth in pidgin)", den u spread untop concrete-slab for "super scrub" with Kongi soap to hustle that troublesome collar, dip in back & forth until e turn to milk colour, hand-squeeze am with your upper bodi facing 1 direction while d cloth face d opposite direction, snap and flap d cloth in mid-air like 15 times to discharge (remove) d wrinkles before u use "wooden peg" to hold am for back-yard rope or better yet, lay am over your corrugated iron fence, NNA MENNNNNNNNN, your PAKO level don nearly cross perfect 10!!!!!!!!

If you happen to do emergency laundry for an outfit you need to wear in a very short while, you pop it into a dryer and hit buttons to get it ready, some how, some way, you're an AJEBOTA. But if after washing, u squeeze it out, carry towel, roll am inside d towel and another person dey d other end make una for pull with force to drain d water come outside (what we refer to as "TOWEL DRYING" in KC), and den finally u use your coal iron steam-dry am, u be PAKO oooooo!!!!

If every summer after school your idea of a holiday is looking forward to yet another trip to Jand or Yankee, you are an in-born AJEBOTA. But if u begin jump up because say una dey go village for New Yam Festival and hunting seasons dey coincide, hence u fit finally throway your "Egungun" outfit and flex d new 1, no vex when I say u be PAKO.

If you by any choice you were just as angry as I was when I wrote this, I hope you feel better


Saturday, 24 December 2011


We thank God for seeing this period, May the soul of our dearly departed who cou;dnt make it RIP xxx

Finally got my leave, my family came in from various parts of the world so its been fun so far. I am sure you are having as much fun as I am.

I also like to think of this period as a time to give. Permit me to share stories in between the pictures
Lady Gaga announces gifts to her fans: Lady Gaga fans have to make sure they take some time off from their merry making on Christmas Day to check out the special gift their idol will deliver that day. Its going to be special because the gift is an unreleased song from her Born This Way album! Shaking my head and rolling my eyes but i guess its the *thought* that counts

There is more giving: Hollywood star Angelina Jolie travelled to meet some of the thousands of Syrian refugees on the country's border with Turkey.

The actress and goodwill ambassador for the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR), shared fruit and dessert with Syrians who have fled the government's bloody crackdown.

Flying in on a private jet, she took boxes of toys for children at a camp in Turkey to which which nearly 10,000 have fled.

Jolie spent two-and-a-half hours at camp in Altinozu, 12 miles (20km) away from the Syrian border.

She reportedly asked them how they were in Arabic, before speaking with them through an interpreter.

I appreciate the opportunity to visit this camp and talk to these families.

Angelina Jolie
Reports also said she took notes and showed particular interest in the women and children.

"The people in this camp have fled in fear for their lives, and many told me they were distraught about the safety of loved ones still in Syria," Jolie said in a UNHCR statement.

She met with one woman who left Syria heavily pregnant, and has since given birth to her child in the camp.

The woman told how her husband had been killed. Another woman told Jolie how she was sick with worry about her husband who was still in Syria and unable to cross the border."I appreciate the opportunity to visit this camp and talk to these families," Jolie said.

Protests first erupted in Syria in mid-March during the 'Arab Spring' uprising.

More like it, she wasnt exploiting her fame or status for a new movie, it was genuine..

Anyway here is more Merry Christmas stories and photos from the classy to the tacky

Dear Friend of The Vine,

At this time of the year it's especially important to think of others. Being a middle-aged punster, I often joke that how you think of your family is all "relative". Something that is relative is how we view poverty. Many of us have been hit by hard times in this economic squeeze and Christmas for many is not the same as previous years.

In Zimbabwe there are doctors performing caesarian sections with the lights from their cell phones. In Kenya there are 4,000 Somalis (mostly women and children) arriving at the Kakuma refugee camp every week. Here in Denver, homeless families living in hotels have been forced to move out due to cockroach infestations.

We may not have cozy answers as to why tragedy and hardship befalls us but we can be assured that God has not abandoned us. In October I visited Albania and was asked to speak to a group of 150 refugees living in a large building with one outhouse. The families inside earned less than $5.00 a day. I shared on the Christmas story. It was very special to see the combination of joy, serious thought and conviction at the end of the time of sharing. People could begin to see that despite unemployment, uncertainty and poor health, we have a creator and a savior that listens, cares and wants to be with us. Even more than that, we have a creator and savior who has been there!

* Jesus was born into poverty... into a hard working family doing their best to make ends meet. He was born in a barn.

* Jesus was born into a situation where people would be suspicious about the circumstances of his birth. Back in the 1970's when I was in school, kids born out of wedlock were given a pretty rough time.

* Jesus was presented to God in the Temple with the offering of the poor. Mary and Joseph presented 2 young pigeons.

* Jesus as a toddler was taken across an international boundary because of a valid threat of persecution. He became a refugee. Many have asked over the years, what happened to the gifts of gold, frankincense and Myrrh, surely they couldn't have been that poor? Having lived as a missionary most of my life, my guess would be that it got them to Egypt and then they found themselves using it to help others in need. Did Joseph find a job? How did they communicate? What kind of help did they get finding somewhere to live? How did they deal with the fear of a different culture?

* Jesus had to face the common question of "why me?" when he returned to see the parents of children that had been slaughtered in a genocide by Herod. I've been surrounded by many people that have suffered greatly in their emotions because they were a survivor. What was it like for Jesus to come home?

As we enter this Christmas season let us not just stand in awe that God came to Earth as man but also stand in awe that God Himself has been there when we think of the homeless families in the hotel, when we think of refugees, when we think of the poverty that is the result of evil regimes in places like Burma and Zimbabwe.


It's my prayer that as we ponder how amazing Jesus is and as we approach 2012 that you will enter this New Year:

* Listening... to people in their pain and be the emotional, spiritual and social support to people in need that Jesus calls us to be.

* Praying... for the end of regimes that are causing suffering to millions.

* Giving... to organizations that are making a real difference in the lives of the hurting.

At CoAid there is a lot we can do in the coming year to ease the plight of children in Burma and help refugees know that Jesus understands because he has been there.

May you be blessed and be a blessing in this Christmas season.

Please consider making a donation to the work of CoAid: (or any other charity of your choice)

Thank you and God bless,



Wednesday, 21 December 2011


SO its 2 days to my casual leave yippee skippee! What a last quarter of year with all the illnesses, the fickleness of friendships, et all..Upon all I am still happilly me too!!!

Anyway, here is a Story I found..Long read and kinda materialistic but worth it: Do these kind of men exist especially in Nigeria (no offence meant o, *just saying*
A guy who has no job got married to a banker, despite his fears and advices that it is not good to marry without a job.
... Every month the girl will give the guy her full salary N135,000 after removing her N15,000 tithe. The guy will give the wife N20,000 for personal up keep and guy determines what happens to the remaining money, this thing happened for 3good years. There was happiness in the family & the girl never refuse to do her primary home duty for that 3 years despite wrong advice from friends. That you can't pay the bills & still be doing all the work.
There was a particular month the guy used about N70,000 to travel from state to state for different interviews.
The guy finally got a job with a good firm in port Harcourt and his salary was N600,0...00 monthly for a start.
He bought his first car (a brand new) for N4.5m, he gave the wife the car keys. So he took public transport to work for about 2years b4 he bought the second car for N6 million. After he bought the second car he took the keys of the 1st car & gave the wife the key of the second car but the wife refused. so the guy started taking public transport to work for one month. The wife now decided to take d new car for the guy to stop taking public transport to work. They very very were happy.
They finally moved into their personal house after some few years.
One day, the wife was looking for some documents, she now saw a file codedly hidden, when she opened the file, she saw her wedding picture when she was very slim in the first page of the file. She finally saw that the document to the purchase of the land & every other things in the house contains her name only. At the last page was the guy's wedding picture and a note written by the husband, '' MY WIFE IS ALL I HAVE GOT, NOT EVEN THIS HOUSE WHICH IS WORTH N24MILLION".
This couple got married in 1998. Last Sunday was their wedding anniversary with two children a boy & a girl.
Now thats true Love huh?


Friday, 16 December 2011


Hello!!! Matters Arising: Ah well I have decided to buy a huge christmas tree and put it in my Abuja flat because I can predict that I as the first girl that refused to marry!!! will be houdered this christmas so am spending christmas and new year here in FCT and working in between!

Pardon the digression, my peeps, this blog is really a comment from a poster in part 2 and decided to publish it as it helped me..And also because I believe it will help those under pressure to marry and those who are desperate to marry..All comments are wecome as usual
l. xxxx

Blessed one said...

Thank you for this recent post. I have been checking your blog periodically to see if you have posted part 2 of "see me see trouble my pipu" and I am glad you have. First of, I was laughing my head off while reading your post. It was just hilarious.

All I can say is this, do not let anyone, not even your mother pressure you or rush you into marraige. It is better to be single and have peace of mind than be married and have no peace of mind. I am going to share a true life story with you that happened in my family. As a matter of fact, it happened to my older sister (our firstborn). You see, my immediate older sister (second born) was the first to get married. After she got married and started having her kids, my mother started putting immense pressure on the first born to get married, telling her that what will people say/think that her juniour sister is married and she is not, blah, blah, blah.

Well, my older sister succumbed to the pressure and got married to a guy from abia state who told her at their first meeting that he was a "business man" which is a term perpetually unemployed naija men use to deceive gullible ladies. My sister apparently did not dig deeper to find out more about this guy due to family/societal pressure I guess and chose to marry him.

They have been married for almost 10 years and my sister is and has been the sole bread winner of the family in all these years. Her husband has no job and is neither searching for one or looking for what to do with his pathetic life. He is verbally abusive towards my sister as well. My sister went from a size 10 to a size 22W and she is 5'7 in height. She is obese because she is depressed and sinks herself into food. The husband on the other hand is busy forcing himself on the housemaids. The older housemaid refuses his advances. The other housemaid is 12years old and he was constantly sticking his fingers into her private part.

As God could have it, my mom's friend sent her underage daughter to my sister's house to pick up some items and my sister's husband tried to sleep with her. The girl went back and reported to her mother and her mother confronted my mom about it. My mom confronted my sister who vehemently denied her husband's actions. Well my mom went to my sister's house and took the underage housemaid from my sister. After the child was brought to our home, the girl now confessed all the things my sister's husband was doing to her. My sister was speechless but now claims he has changed.

Meanwhile, my sister's 7 year old daughter has been complaining of virginal pain. My mom now thinks that her father (my sister's husband) is sexually molesting his own daughter. The thing is, my mother now sees that my sister maried the wrong man and wants my sister to leave him but my sister insists on staying with a husband who has called her fat, ugly, smelly amongst other things all because she does not want to raise her kids in a broken home. Her husband has even told her that if he had the opportunity, he will leave her for a young girl from igboland. This is a man who does not pay rent, children's school fees, nothing!

My sister used to have so much money as a single career woman and lead a comfortable, peaceful life but now, she is constantly broke. In the eyes of the law she is married but in practicality, it seems like she is not because her husband does not help her with anything. He is like a trophy just occupying space on a shelf and a paedophile and pervert as well. My sister now looks like a shadow of herself, is constantly in and out of the hospital and has a very low self esteem.

Today, she blames our mother for her woes because it was our mother who was putting pressure on her to get married thereby indirectly pushing her into the arms of a gold digging abusive paedophile of a man who does not give a damn about her.

I am sorry for my long post but I thought I share this with you because as human beings, we only have one life to live. I believe that marraige should be enjoyed and not endured. Most Nigerian marraiges are hell on earth where domestic violence, gross infidelity, lies, unequal division of labour, disrespect and much more rule supreme. The average naija man does not know how to love his wife like Christ loved the church. He saw what his father did to his mother and he does the same to his wife. In other words, the circle of marital abuse continues.

Mena, in our generation, there are alot of Nigerian men who are just taking advantage of the fact that society puts enormous pressure on women to get married. Naija men are aware that whether they are irresponsible or not, naija women are willing to mary them to avoid societal stigma. Unfortunately, the family unit suffers down the line, the children suffer, and the woman who chose such a man suffers most. Don't believe the lies that "men are scarece". Men are in abundance but good responsible men who are God fearing and have high moral values is what is lacking and much has to do with the decay in morals and values in the country we know as Nigeria.

Don't let anyone pressure you into marraige until you are convinced that the man you are willing to settle down with is the one. There are alot of emotionally and mentally UNSTABLE men and women in Nigeria. You must be very careful. Nigerian society is also crawling with perverts, paedophiles and sexually depraved men who get away with their heinous act. Many who see nothing wrong with having sex with their daughters or raping females. Ask yourself, is that the kind of man you will love to build a home with? If you happen to birth any daughters, they will never forgive you in the future if their father sexually molested them.

I live outside Nigeria but when I am ready to move back to the African continent, I will settle with my family in another African country and not Nigeria. With all that is going on in Nigeria, it will only be a matter of time before crap hits the fan. In all you do, be prayerful Mena and let God lead your way. God Bless!

9 December 2011 10:33

Tuesday, 13 December 2011

Exclusive photos from Chinedu (Aki) and Nneoma's church wedding..#I m a sucker for romance


Will continue with see me see trouble pt3 but this pictures came exclusively to me to piublish. I dont normally publish on the celeb world but I feel this is a special I can hear my mum and dad saying ogbotornomemena(my first girl child) when will you do yours and stop commenting/writing on other peoplees ...hiss...
therefore my christmas in Lagos will be 23-27. New Year in Abuja ALONE...Absolutely no family stress before I purchase an AK47 on this marrer

I digress, Enjoy the photos goes the pictures

This is the groom and his parents :

This is the bride and her parents:

Mena wishes them the best like can offer

Any thoughts? warm wishes? comments?

Wednesday, 7 December 2011


This is a continuation of SEE ME SEE TROUBLE MY PIPU

Let me start by saying people have always said that I am quirky, quite intelligent and somewhat old fashioned and always seek enlightenment in every field possible so why am I not married yet? all I can reply is that I want a stable marriage. I wanted to live with an intelligent, educated( both formal or informal)man that I have things in common with, someone I can discuss with intellectually with, someone who is patient and gentle, very capable of laughing in difficult situations. He maybe a party person, who moderately loves the delights of Holland (Wink), a sports/sports channel fan but understand I prefer romantic quiet moments, prefer discussing issues like; politics, family life, relationships and so on. In addition I would love to spend time and my earnings on the less privileged, love walks in the park, attending plays at the theatre, climbing mountains and just enjoying being together thats the kind of man that I could spend the rest of my life with.

Yeah thats me up there trying on a wedding dress as my closest friend, Jing Zhao was interested wedding dresses that day at one of the shops at Selfridges, London

My parents have put so much pressure on me that I have been forced to consider the wrong people and call it God's special Grace, raw instinct or self preservation but even with the gernomous pressure I flee from those wrong people.

Ever since I relocated I have met mostly dishonest, abusive, unreliable or gold digger types (though I blame the latter economy) Yes I have met decent people too but they are almost all happily married.

Soh He was one of the few people I met on my first week here. He asked for my number and call it loneliness I gave it to him. From there we chatted a lot. He told me he was renting his place and his earnings were xxxxxx. (I didnt ask him o!!) Then we started going on dates where he will insist on surprising me with the "tastes of Abuja" which consisted of sharing a single shawarma on two occassions. Then he just like that wanted to make out and even have sex. I told him in clear terms, that he hasnt even asked me out, I have certain priniciples on making out & sexual intercourse (no i no holy pass but you get the drill). He went quiet and then said he understood. Needless to say I saw less and less of him, he stopped calling, when I called he was busy. When we mistakenly met he told me "his relative" was ill. At the same time I fell very ill and thought it was a small thing until I was rushed to the hospital. On resumption I went to the company clinic (where I met Doh a consultant doctor taking a maternity cover for our regular doctor. more later) Well with Soh I figured it was the whole I refuse-to-make out-and-have-sex-barely-a-week-after-knowing-you-exist thing and let him go, no be this age I go dey accept plate of rubbish jare..

Only for him to call me from the blues tell me that "the relative" lost his life upon all their efforts. So I decided to visit him at his home. I felt odd that he introduced me to his mum with my current post like one gbo gbo bigz powerful girlz, I felt odd...Anyway he sat me down and then he explained that the person that died was not a relative but his dad. He said he was ashamed at the time to let me know that at his age midthirties he was still living with parents, earning xxxxx.(All that wouldnt have mattered to me if he had said it from the start ooo but the lies killed it for me) I hadnt finished digesting the lies when he began on me, he rained verbally abusive words on me not being there for him. Being so damned hot and sexy on the outside (his words, i dont buy flattery that easily), yet having so called principles on the inside etc etc I managed (in btw the rants) to tell him I was ill myself at that point. Then he did a 360 and said now his dad was gone he was going to 'chase' me on my terms. I was just gobsmacked and decided to just reduce this friendship to acquaintanceship... not knowing one more shocker awaited me; one day there was suddenly no water in my area so i called him and asked if there was water in his, he said yes and said he will send two 20litres of water in jerrycans to me. I was grateful. Only for the next day I asked him if he could take me somewhere for lunch since he had a car and I was on medication at the time. He gruffly replied that I should go without him, he is in a meeting. I asked someone else (fah more on him later...i say troubu dey lol) and he agreed and we went for lunch as a group. Soh happened to see us and sent me a bbm asking me to return both of his 20litres jerry can that moment. Laugh bin wan tear my belle so if na better thing he did for me he would have asked for it back on the back of seeing me eating lunch with a group of other people.I asked for a reminder of his address so i can send them to him, he says no he will come and get them himself. I keep his kegs outside my gate. But he comes saying he felt like a mugu, felt hurt and jealous at the fact that i went with someone else. He used words I dont want to repeat but wont forget. After all said and done, he says he will continue "chasing me" I said we are just acquaintances now as I have never met any man as petty as he was. He still insisted on chasing....

Well now its time for Doh: His own was like a badly done Nigerian home video. As I mentioned before, I met doh while I was ill, my blood sugar level was too low so I had to keep coming to him every morning for an accucheck. So we got talking and one day he states that I am the woman he wants. I was shocked as that was unprofessional but I guess this is naija. Since I had to keep seeing him for my blood sugar checks anyway,I ignored it. But then he told me about himself asked a bit about myself (in the guise of checking my habits and why my blood sugar was so low) And finally asked me out on a date speaking a lot about my body and that its unbelievevable I was single with that body and look.(Again his words) Well my mum had spent that week guiltripping me on this marrigae and children issue even with my illness that I was almost climbing the walls in offence. We went on the date, I didnt like where he took me (nkwobi joint) as after such a bout of illness, hygiene was very high on my list. Then he drops me off, wanted to come in but I said no. He kept exclaiming that my area was lovely, that they must pay me a huge amount of money. Now all this I am saying is literally day to day like Monday then teusday then the next etc etc. So on thursday my blood sugar was stable and I went to the office for a full day and saw all the work I had to do was piled up waiting for me, so naturally I was busy but Doh kept calling just to say sexy words and just generally distracting me, so after explaining for the fifth time that I had a lot to do and that my position in the office was too strategic for me to use my phone at will, I just had to ignore him. That day I closed very very late and was walking home with a laptop and lots of documents, very heavy laden in a dark corner when Tee called to say hi. I explained I was walking in ssss street when he asks me to go straight back into the office as its not safe to walk on that lonely road alonr and then he drove down just to pick me and dropped me off at home, with my bbm and phone going off due to Doh's odd possessiveness. The next day friday I spoke to him (Doh) that I would be in a meeting till late. The meeting started and he started bbm and texting and calling. (Twas in that meeting that I met gigolo Rah) The meeting went on till very late so I honestly couldnt take calls nor reply text messages. When the meeting was over it was sooooo late, Rah offered to take me home and dropped me at my gate, On getting to my bed I read Doh's messages or at least his final one. I thought you were different from other Abuja girls,you refused to pick calls because you were with men. If you ever hear from me again.etc etc I gave him a befitting reply and stopped all communications..He still kept calling and calling for almost a month and only recently stopped....

Ra:,Remember he took me home? he kept telling me to attend his church and preaching at me. I figured since he was the church type I have at last found an Abuja friend...This was until he started saying he had a fiancee and several other lady friends on his case but he really likes me, that I am so calm, so sexy, so hot I do things to him etc.(Again his words) That he is ready to leave his long term girlfriend for me..Now apart from him being almost as young as my baby brother. His tales were quite bizarre. He said his long term girlfriend is a virgin but was once pregnant but even after an abortion, she is still technically a virgin. Or the one about prefferring older women friends and how he used to give them great sex in exchange of material benefits. How one day, on the promise of getting a generator, he "did" one Bank Bigz Girlz till she had multiple orgasms but she never got him the Gen etc etc. I couldnt reconcile these stories so I finally told him to keep the faith in his church, and be faithful to his 'virgin' and maybe marry her soon before he gets tempted to disvirgin her again. Then kept our friendship level on colleague at work level because I NOTU FITTU SHOUTU NOR ADVICEU ANYBORRY. Everyone is entitled to their *ahem* stupidity!! and beliefs.

As for Fah: he was just a short pervert from the first day we started talking, we hardly spoke at eye contact bcos he had 'wandering' eyeballs all over whatever I was wearing. Several times he was meant to give me sensitive document, but will first make to kiss me (NAIJA AGAIN and untop the fact that he had to almost climb a chair to get to my lips) at which I warned him seriously. Someone tried to reconcile us and that was when we all went for the lunch that got (SOH) hopping mad. The straw that broke the camel's back was when I saw him with another guy at his office and he came later on and with pride swelling in his entire 5ft 4 inch frame, told me that the guy in his office asked out of some particular ladies at work,which one was he 'doing'. I promptly decided it wasnt necessary to have a friend in Abuja. I will look for movies or go to Lagos or/ and London frequently

Tee is nice, he came to pick me up that night I closed real late, even telling me to go back to a safe place (my office) and wait for him. Tee is a gentleman, the first and only time we went clubbing he was a gentleman and very well behaved making sure I got my home safely and going back to his own home. Tee is evasive about the real things but can talk a lot about vague odd, 'herbs' induced topics. Tee is very very laid back. Tee avoids discussing serious issues. Tee obviously finds me very sexually attractive and says he likes the mysterious way my mind works as well, Tee talked a lot about this multimillion naira business he runs yet he has no money to call me for more than a minute, I REFUSE to do the call back. Tee is engaged, Tee loves topics about inspiration and business too. Tee recently opened up to me about some financial issues stuff and I said I would try and help...but...but....but...then I began to wonder why cant his family help, or his fiancee or her family help? and It hit me like a punch out of the blue, I was probably being taken for a mug yet again. I had to tear out my hair, shred my garments and holler (all in my mind) JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE STUDIED A COURSE ABROAD AND MOVED BACK HOME TO WORK DOESNT MAKE HER A MONEY TREE...So I stalled and stalled and stalled and thats where we are right now.

Now I am thinking of ways to avoid my mother's calls because they are ALL about whose marriage she attended followed by this annoying 'how far' which is just code for have you found a man to settle down and have children with within 3 months of relocation even including illness. Yes I want a family but please dont push me into eternal pain, I could be quite melancholic and sensitive so wont use my own feet to walk into eternal pain.

And on a similar note: A popular society lady once said I think everyman is looking for a replacement for his mother. That’s one thing I have learnt. In life, every man looks for that woman who would not just be his wife but his mother, whose paramount objective is to ensure that he can be the best man he is meant to be. Perhaps in me he has been able to find that combination of wife and mother. The mother element is very important, because it’s only your mother that you would trust so absolutely to be able to deliver the best judgments and to be able to pull you back when they think you are doing something wrong. It’s just to have absolute trust in your judgment and go to bed with both eyes closed.

Could she be right?

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