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Friday 27 April 2012

I DECLARE THAT YOU WILL NEVER BE DENIED VISA..HOLD YOUR INTERNATIONAL PASSPORTS..(na wa)



Interesting stuff from here

‘I hope you all brought your International Passports as we announced last week. Everybody, raise your International Passports. Lift it high to the heavens.

I decree and declare that, in Jesus name, your passports will never be denied visa. Favour will accompany your passport wherever it gets to in Jesus name.

You have to be careful of the people you allow to touch your passport. Some of you allow people touch your passports anyhow, not knowing that those people want to draw you back in life. They don’t want you to have the opportunity to travel so that life can be good for you. So they rub fetish things on their hands and touch your passport and that is why you keep getting denied visa.

Now, raise your passport again. I cancel the effects of every negative contact your passport has made. I decree and declare that you will never be denied visa anywhere your passport reaches, in Jesus name.

I challenge you today, after this anointing service, go and apply for that visa. You and all your family. You won’t be denied.’


This is just a brief summary of the exact scenario I witnessed in a church recently.

Is it just me or is there something wrong with this scene? If we don’t think there’s something wrong with it, then maybe we are facing a bigger problem than I envisaged. This is the level of desperation that the Nigerian system has subjected its citizens to. A life where 6 months Visa has now become a prayer point. And when the Visa is obtained, the whole church dances as a show of thanksgiving for 5 minutes. It is not a good sight to behold. This is synonymous to misery. Where going to another man’s land has become the main essence of some people’s Christianity.

At this service, I could see the reactions of the congregation to these prayer points. The zeal was apparent on their faces, as they lifted their passports high. They kept shaking their head and prayed fervently to God to make the ‘impossible to become possible.’

In my own opinion, some people have decided to take advantage of the vulnerability of suffering Nigerians and used it to trivialize the Christian walk. We now conduct International Passport anointing services. The pastor here portrayed the situation like getting out of Nigeria is synonymous to living a better life. It was as if, once you get out of the country, your life will suddenly be better. There was no talk of job opportunities there, no talk of education, nothing. Just get out of Nigeria and you will immediately start walking on streets of gold.

They failed to mention that the reason why some Nigerians are being denied Visas is because they don’t fill their forms accurately. Some don’t have enough means to take care of themselves when they get to this ‘Promised Land’, some don’t even have where to stay when they get there. But we must all try their luck and apply, mustn’t we? Who knows, the anointing might work when they CES officer sees our passport, so he will refuse to check our application and automatically give us Visa to his country. And woe betide us if we are denied, oh well, the witches caused it.

Well, as it is the culture of the average Nigerian to blame someone, I must also look for someone or something to blame for this appalling scenario I witnessed. But who? Is it the government that doesn’t ensure that Nigeria is not a country in which every single citizen is dying to run out of? Is it the pastor that has decided to base his anointing on anointing passports, rather than people?

After all, he must make a living. Or is it the desperate citizens that have decided to turn a blind eye to the endless opportunities in this country, even though it seems like we are going down by the minute? Who exactly will my blame wand point to if I spin it? Well, I refuse to spin it for now. After all, the saying goes, it is the instrument of your need that God will use to draw you closer to him. And what is the need for most Nigerians now? Visa to the Promised Land.

By Atilola Moronfolu

Friday 20 April 2012

CORNY PICK UP (TOASTING) LINES...that actually worked!!!


Ladies, these are some pick up lines, you have fallen for some or some of you fallen for none and still standing..Which would you fall for and guys which would you use if you had to ? or better yet, give us some of your pick up lines ever used, on a male for females, and on females for males....

1. The corny-but-cute hello:
“This guy who was so not my style came over to me and my friends and asked: ‘Do you happen to know how much a polar bear weighs?’ We said ‘no’ and kept walking, and then he said, ‘Well, it’s enough to break the ice. Hi, I’m Brian.’ We all cracked up and kept talking to him.” The nonsensical approach:
“This random guy came up to me at a party, looked me straight in the eyes and said, ‘Baby, you’re sexier than socks on a rooster.’ I had absolutely no idea what he meant, but I thought it was funny and I liked how unusual it was. It got us talking, trying to figure out what that line meant!”

2. The mom-approved intro:
“I was at a local bar one night, and this guy sat next to me and said, ‘Would it freak you out if I said that I’ve already told my mother about you?’ I said, ‘No, why?’ Then he told me that he’d actually stepped outside, called his mother and asked her how to approach me. I thought it was adorable that he was a mama’s boy.”


3. The “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” method:
“I fought tooth and nail with a guy over a parking space and won. When I came back out to my car, there was a note on it that said, ‘I like your style. Call me.’ It was very unexpected, and I loved the approach. See, it pays to be a lover and a fighter.”


4. The win-her-with-flattery strategy:
“This poker party I was at started to get very crowded. As a group of girls walked in, this guy came up behind me and said, ‘I think you’re going to be asked to leave soon. You’re so pretty, you’re putting all the other women to shame.’ I tend to be very shy, so his compliment really helped crack my shell.”


5. The line with artistic flair:
“I was shooting pool with friends, and some guys offered us a friendly challenge. Midway through the game, one of them looked at me and said, ‘Do you remember Crayola crayons? Well, they used to have this color called Blizzard Blue. It was my favorite color, and your eyes are actually Blizzard Blue.’ I thought it was so cute! He had me right there.”


6. The overly confident come-on:
“I was at an office party when a guest of a coworker introduced himself and said, ‘Blueberries or strawberries?’ Confused, I asked what he meant, and he replied, ‘I just want to know what kind of pancakes to make you in the morning.’ He said it with such a straight face that it was like a scene in a funny movie. I didn’t eat breakfast with him, but I did give him my number.”


7.Hey, if I kiss you, will I get slapped?” He did kiss the girl in question, but he didn’t suffer for it afterward.

Which would you like? Have a great day!

Wednesday 18 April 2012

RAPE AND PAEDOPHILIA: Some tips to reduce this evil!!

*I read this elsewhere and thought to share.Its certainly not 100% foolproof but it sure helps*



1.Warn your girl/ child never to sit on anyone’s laps no matter the situation including uncles.

2.Avoid getting dressed in front of your child once he/she is 2years old. Learn to excuse yourself.

3.If you have to hire a house-help please kindly take them for HIV screening to determine their HIV status, properly interview them and make up your mind to treat them well. Remember that the more you ill-treat your helps, the more your child will be ill-treated by the helps when you are not in. Some househelps don’t have to beat the children so you may not find scars but the child’s food may be mixed with spit, urine or feces and that would make the child sickly.

4.Never allow any adult refer to your new born as ‘my wife’ or ‘my husband’

5.Never tempt your husband with your younger female family members

6.Avoid unnecessary familiarity and make sure you take care of your husband by yourself lest you lead him into temptation.

7.Whenever your child goes out to play with friends make sure you look for a way to find out what kind of play they played together because young people now sexually abuse themselves.

8.Never force your child to visit any adult he or she is not comfortable with and also be observant if your child becomes too fond of a particular adult.

9.Once a very lively child suddenly becomes withdrawn you might need to patiently ask a lot of questions from your child

10.If you don’t teach your children about sex the society will teach them the wrong values.

11.It is always advisable you go through any new material like cartoons you just bought for them before they start seeing it themselves.

12.Teach your 6 year olds how to wash their private parts properly and warn them never to allow anyone touches those areas and that includes you.

13.Blacklist some materials you think could threaten the sanity of your child (that includes music, movies and musicians) and let them understand the value of standing out of the crowd.

14.Once your child complains about a particular person, don’t keep quiet about it. Take up the case and show them you can defend theM


Do you think it helps?? Have any more tips to add?

Tuesday 17 April 2012

TEN THINGS NEVER TO SAY IN BED

....as discovered in cyberville



1. “What did you eat for dinner?”

You know this is really just a nice way of saying “baby your breath stinks”, and trust us, he’ll know it too. Unless you want him to stop kissing you altogether, this is one thought you should keep to yourself.

2. "Is that it?"

Yet another ego-crushing blow you shouldn’t strike with during sex. If you care about him, you won’t go there. No man’s at the top of his game all the time - are you? Cut him some slack.

3. "Did you pay that bill?"

If you’re thinking about finances in the middle of sex, you’re definitely not enjoying yourself – no question. He will instantly feel that he’s failed you.

4. "Stop sweating on me!"

Nobody wants to sleep with a diva. If you want to get hot and heavy without getting hot and sweaty something’s wrong.

5. "It could be better!"

In the heat of the moment, a man will undoubtedly ask you at least once if you’re enjoying the experience. This is not the time to crush his ego. If you’re truly not satisfied, save your opinions for a conversation when you’re both wearing clothes okay?

6. "Hold on, let me get that!"

If the sex is great, you shouldn’t even realize the phone is ringing, never mind want to answer it. Think about it. How would you feel if he stopped to grab his phone? Exactly!

7. "Are you done yet?"

Translation: “I didn’t want to do this anyway, so can you hurry up and finish already.” This is what we like to call an instant mood killer.

8. “You used to be better at that.”

Again, no one is great in bed all the time. How would you feel if he said this to you? This will make your lover instantly insecure, which can create a problem that will carry over to the next time, and the time after that. Be kind!

9. “Oh [name that’s not his]!”

Never mind how obviously inappropriate this would be, if you can’t remember who you’re sleeping with, you shouldn’t be sleeping with anyone at all.

10. “Are you sure the kids are sleeping?”

No man, or woman for that matter, will want their blissful sex thoughts interrupted by thoughts of their kids. Check on this beforehand, and be sure the coast is clear.

Monday 16 April 2012

Four-Year-Old Girl 'Genius' Joins Mensa

A four-year-old who can already add, subtract, draw figures, write in sentences and read advanced books has become one of the youngest members of Mensa.



Heidi Hankins sat an IQ test after nursery teachers said they were struggling to find activities to keep her challenged.
The average IQ score for an adult is 100 but the exceptional youngster achieved a staggering 159 points - just one mark shy of scientist Albert Einstein.

She beat number cruncher Carol Vorderman (154 points) and is only slightly behind Big Bang physicist Stephen Hawking (160 points).


Heidi's father Matthew, from Winchester, Hants, is hoping she can skip a year when she starts school to ensure she does not become bored.

The Southampton University lecturer, 47, said: "We always thought Heidi was bright because she was reading early. I was curious about her IQ and the results were off the scale.

"I got her the complete set of the Oxford Reading Tree books when she was two and she read through the whole set of 30 in about an hour. It's what you would expect a seven-year-old to do."


He said Heidi is a head taller than her classmates, and at 115cm (3ft 10in) more physically resembles an average six-year-old.

Dr Hankins added: "We don't push Heidi at all. She has taken up everything herself and teaches herself.
Click to see more

I wish we all have children like this!

Sunday 15 April 2012

The real Madonna?



Madonna needs no introduction. Inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in March of 2008, she has sold over 63 million albums with 12 No. 1 hits. She’s recorded 11 studio albums with two additional live albums and three soundtracks.

Madonna is arguably one of the most accomplished female artists of all time, but not so much as a talented actress. She had parts in flicks like A League of Their Own and Evita.

Here she is without makeup.Looking nice!

Thursday 12 April 2012

HELP (3) Spiritual battle!

Hi

Following this and this story. Here is one more unedited and true story of suffering and faith that touches the heart.




I was born around 1968 and married my high school sweetheart at the age of 20. A day before the traditional marriage, somebody from my father's side of the family confronted me and said it would be over her dead body before I will have any children since I chose to marry before some of my elders who were still unmarried. I gave my life to Jesus that same year and started praying. I was unable to have children until this woman died after FIVE years of marriage.
On February 22nd, 1989, I fell into an Aquarium glass that almost killed me at Fola Agoro where I was working then as a sales representative, while I was in the hospital, a family member showed up in my dream and said I would not survive the attack. I prayed fervently and asked the Lord to take care of the situation. I survived. (The person died).
In 1992, ( I forgot the exact date), somebody threatened to kill me in my dream, when I woke up, I prayed that God should deliver me from this attack. I went later that day to Mosafejo Market in Oshodi and fell into a big Canal where you board Ketu busses. It took three strong men to drag me out of that pit. I survived again.
Two years after I joined my husband in the States, I had a terrible dream that I was being deported even though I had a "Green Card". On May 31st, 1997, three months after the dream, we visited Nigeria, and my husband left and ran away leaving me and our 3 years old son. God used my boss, Rev. Bosun Ayinde and his wife, Mrs. Peju Ayinde, of Akinola Cole Crescent, Ikeja, with the help of Immigration Officer Popoola and Custom Officer Nta to get me back to the United States after two and a half months of suffering and struggling.
On June 3rd, 2003, after two days of another terrible dream from these wicked people, my three children with their father, (my new husband) were involved in a terrible car accident. All hope were lost, but I cried to Almighty God who performed the greatest miracle of all! Everybody Survived!!! I continued praying and fasting.
On February 25, 2008, I saw in my vision, these wicked spirits told me that they will not rest until they destroy me. I responded that the Lord God whom I serve everyday will avenge and vindicate me as I never do anything do them, and that God will fight my battle for me. The next day, at 6:30am, there was a terrible storm in Atlanta that destroyed GA Dome and World Congress Center. Unfortunately my home was among those that were destroyed. To God be the glory, my three children and their father survived the disaster (I was at work). Halleluyah!!!
The Bible says many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord his God delivered him from them all.
My brethren, this is the reason I fight and seek the destruction of my enemies and I also extend these prayers to others who might be going through what I have been through.
I pray that the Lord who had delivered me from all these calamities will deliver you too in Jesus name. Amen.

-------------------------


As written by Taibatu O.O.

Tuesday 10 April 2012

8 things Men (claim) they want Women to know!!



What is a man really thinking. For just about forever, women have tried to interpret the male species. While, in theory, every man is different, research has found a number of surprising parallels. From his fear of commitment to his fondness for cuddling, certain emotions cause many men to freeze up rather than open up.
Here are some of the top secrets your guy may be keeping from you:

1. Saying "I love you" is complicated.

Those “three little words” could be the most complex in the English language. While some men prematurely pull the trigger on the "L word" (a recent study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that guys tend to say “I love you” first, often driven by the idea that their partner will be more likely to have sex with them) — other guys just aren’t that good at getting the words out. Instead, they show their love through their actions. How can you know for sure? Those actions may be a truer indicator of his feelings than any passion-fueled colloquy, says Irina Firstein, LCSW, a relationship counselor who has advised couples in New York City for more than 20 years.

2. Commitment really does scare me.


Men often have a harder time picking up on subtle relationship cues — and because of this, your man may not be aware of the point in which your bond has moved to a higher expectation of commitment. In fact, some guys get anxious about becoming attached, even if they seem to enjoy the relationship. "Men often 'rubber band,' withdraw, or pull back if they feel like the relationship has moved beyond

beyond their comfort zone," Firstein notes. This new territory can take a man by surprise — even if you felt like he was forging ahead at the same pace you were.

3. I get performance jitters.

Do men think about sex a lot? Sure they do, but their fears of sexual inadequacy may be just as frequent. If a man has ever had an unsuccessful go at sex (and most of them have! — flopped romps can be triggered by common missteps such as drinking too much), his stress in the bedroom can stockpile — which can eventually lead to sexual dysfunction. Many men will even avoid sex rather than talk honestly about their fears with their partner, and this can harm both the sexual health and the emotional health of a relationship.

4. I'm not crazy about monogamy.

Some men stay mum about the extent of their sexual desires. "Freedom, and particularly sexual freedom, and variety are typically more important to men than to women,” says Firstein. “Many married men feel that they love their wives and, at the same time, have no problems cheating." This difference between men and women can be one of the most damaging to a couple because of the sense of betrayal it can create (even if he never actually strays).

5. I wants you to initiate sex sometimes.

You may think sexual desire is hard-wired in men, but with every attempt at turning you on comes a threat of rejection — even in the most established relationships. That’s why it’s such a turn-on when a woman makes the moves, allowing him to skip the risk altogether. And it’s not just sex he wants: One recent study from the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University actually found that cuddling and caressing in a relationship are more important to men than women.

6. I'm depressed.

Depression has no gender bias: It can strike anyone, including the most macho of men. However, studies show that men who are depressed are less likely to open up about their sadness or lack of energy than women. Instead, they are more likely to avoid sex, say they’re overtired, or drink more. "Some men are uncomfortable about feeling sad, and their sadness or depression may come out as anger," warns Firstein. Depression is one of the most dangerous secrets a man can keep, so if you think a male in your life could be depressed, it’s important to let him know that you’re concerned.

7. I'm afraid of my own feelings.

Many men just don't handle their feelings, such as doubt, very well, and tend to have a hard time opening up. "Because many men are problem solvers and are uncomfortable talking about feelings, there are a number of intense feelings that don't get expressed with words, but rather acted out," notes Firstein. The good news? Men aren’t Neanderthals. The emotions are there; they just need to be uncovered. And if ‘fessing up about his feelings remains a stumbling block, he may need to seek relationship advice from a professional.

Another BIG secret men keep?

Men need (and want) intimacy just as much as women do. Mutual respect, trust, support, and communication — these relationship musts are just as important for a man's emotional and sexual health as they are for a woman's. When both partners are able to open up and let their relationship develop at its own pace, that love will be nurtured by positivity — rather than stunted by secrets.

Source: (BlackDoctor.org) 7 Things Men Hide From Women