Friday, 22 January 2016
(If you’re a single mother, you won’t like this..:-)) An American author named Shawn James this week wrote a controversial essay titled ‘Why Real Men Avoid Single Mothers’ – detailing 15 reasons why men should not date single mothers. It’s got people talking.
1. Never Available. A single Mother’s schedule is never open. Single mothers are the kind of women to always cancel dates at the last minute. Something always gets in the way of a man spending time with her. It’s hard to have a relationship with her because she’s never there.
2. YOU are NOT a priority. Usually in a relationship the man winds up DEAD LAST. Behind, her kids, her job, the car, the kitchen sink, the stopped up toilet. Even the dog gets more attention and affection than a man involved with a single mother. Any man who gets involved with a single mother winds up a fifth stringer in a relationship. And he rarely ever gets called up to play.
3. Thinks the world revolves around HER and ONLY HER. A single mother is one of the biggest narcissists on the dating scene. She often thinks that a man has to drop everything in his life to be part of hers and her kids. They’re so selfish they don’t think a man has needs, wants or a life of his own. He’s just supposed to be there to give her everything she wants in life.
4. Emotionally Unavailable- Most Single mothers cannot form an intimate connection with a man because her feelings are invested in other people. Usually her primary focus is on her children.
In addition to dedicating herself to her children, most single mothers have given their hearts to someone else- their children’s father. And those feelings she still has for him will always prevent her from getting closer to you. There will always be some distance between a single mother and the new man in her life.
5. The ex/ Baby Daddy is ALWAYS THERE. A man just doesn’t deal with a single mother. He deals with her ex or her baby daddy as well. And this guy is always hovering around like a helicopter looking to c*ckblock you. Some of these guys still think they have a shot at getting back with her. Others just don’t want to see her happy. A lot of these dudes want to f!ght over her.
Seriously, it’s a game they’re playing with each other. And they’ll be playing that game with each other until their children turn 18 or 21. Head for the exit. It’s just not worth dealing with this fool and his insecure bullshyt.
6. The kids are working AGAINST YOU When dealing with a single mother you also deal with Kids. Kids who still in their little heart of hearts think that Dad will come back and love them.
Seriously, GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE.
7. Those kids will HATE YOU. They will act out to keep you from getting closer to mommy. They will make accusations against you to get you in trouble. Again, it’s just not worth dealing with the bullsh*t to get with a female. There are four billion women in the world. You can find a quality female who doesn’t carry all this baggage or give you this much grief.
8. Entitled attitude Single mothers think because she had a baby out of wedlock the world owes her EVERYTHING. And she thinks she’s the one who deserves the best. Even though she’s usually collecting welfare, food stamps, or child support, in eyes she’s still supposed to be treated like she’s a queen because she popped a kid out of her v*gina.
In their deluded distorted vision of the world Men are still supposed to take her out to the finest restaurants and buy them lots of expensive stuff. And he’s supposed to take care of her kids too, buying them whatever they want while taking a blind eye to their bad behavior.
9. Distorted self-image Single mothers still thinks she’s as sexy like she was before she had a baby. Only she doesn’t understand how her body has changed. In some cases for the worse.
Single mothers are the type to try to squeeze themselves into sexy outfits like low-rise jeans and cropped T-shirts to show off their belly button, not seeing the muffin top and stretch marks squeezing out over the top of their pants. They’re the type to stuff themselves into slinky spandex dresses, (not aware of that gut, and the cellulite on their asses) and head out to the club. She thinks men are supposed to run up on her offering to buy her drinks. And because a few thirsty simps step to her, she thinks she’s still got it. But the only people who wants what she has to offer are scavengers at the bottom of the social scene.
10. Always the victim. Single Mothers never take responsibility for their actions. The situation they’re in is always the fault of that “no good man”, “these damn kids” their mother or someone else. They never take any time to do any self-examination or make any efforts to change their lives. They’re still looking for some Rich Incredibly Handsome Man™ to put on a cape and play Captain Save-A-Hoe™, sweep her off her feet and take her out of the troubling situation she helped make.
11. Jekyll & Hyde Personality. A single mother will be the sweetest thing when a man first dates her, but a few months into a relationship she turns into a NUTJOB. A man will usually see glimpses of this when she chastises her kids when he first meets them. During that meeting she’ll yell at them and bully them to get them to act right while praising a man like he’s an angel.
It’s all an act. Heaven will turn into Hell around the six month mark.
Once a single mother gets a man settled into her life it’s not common for her to start verbally abusing him and mocking him as she projects all that pent-up rage from those previous failed relationships onto him. And it’s usually around this point that most men realize why this woman is single and why it’s time for him to hit the exit door.
12. Drama Queen. Because a single mother always sees herself as a victim of society, she’s always talking about her problems. And she always has a new trouble to bring everyone. There’s never a good day in the life of a single mother because there’s always some new crisis about to emerge in her life.
The reason single mothers need the drama is because it makes them feel important. It makes people pay attention to them. And when Captain-Save-A-Hoe™ is doting on them trying to solve their problems it makes them feel an artificial sense of value. They need that value to deflects people’s attention from how pathetic their lives actually are.
Manipulative In most cases, a single mother has no interest in a man she’s dating. In a lot of cases she’s just using a guy as a pawn.
13. In most cases she’s dating to make her Baby Baddy jealous. Deep down in her heart of hearts she believes that if she’s seen with someone else who sees her as valuable that he’ll see her as valuable and take her back.
In other cases when she’s not trying to get a rise out of Baby Daddy she’s playing the sympathy card™ using a guy to get gifts, free dinners and free drinks out of him. To a single mother, The men in her lives are just human ATM machines where she whispers a sweet nothing in his ear like a PIN number and money comes out of his wallet.
And because she’s a drama queen who loves to play the victim, the Single mother plays to men’s emotions to get them to react in the way she wants. It’s not common for a single mother to tell her man man about her baby daddy so he can go f!ght him. Or pit two baby daddies against each other. Many a man has wound up either dead or in prison because a single Mother played the victim card™.
14. Dishonest. A single mother is a LIAR. It’s how she gets what she wants. It’s how she manipulates people. It’s how she takes care of her kids. It’s how she survives in this world.
Single mothers lie. And they LIE ALL THE TIME. They lie to men about their age, their height, their weight, how many kids they have, the job they do.
On top of the lies they tell to others They lie to themselves. They lie about about how beautiful they are. They lie telling themselves they’re still a catch. They lie telling themselves they still have a chance with a good man. They lie telling themselves that their lives will be happily ever after one day.
The horrible truth is without those lies most of those single mothers would realize how pathetic their lives are. How they have no options in the dating scene. That they’re at the bottom of the barrel in the dating scene and the only men who want them are pathetic Manginas and thirsty Simps.
15. Carries Baggage, baggage and more baggage A single mother has more issues than Time and Newsweek combined. And when she’s looking for a man, she’s not looking for an equal caring partner. She’s looking for a Pullman Porter™ to take care of her kids, and clean up her messes with her childrens’ father. Brothers, don’t let yourself get sized up for the white jacket and the bow tie!
Anyway, dealing with a single mother is like walking through a minefield. After several months of being involved with her, it leaves a man anxious and tense because he doesn’t know where to step that won’t lead to an explosion that k!lls him.
That’s why Real Men avoid single mothers like disease.
Real men understand life is too short to put up with someone’s drama and their emotional baggage. We only have a limited time on God’s Earth and who wants to spend it being a Pullman Porter cleaning up someone else’s messes. As I stated before in a previous blog, let that woman take her run over Jimmy Choos and clean up her own mess. She made her bed, now let her lie in the wet spot.
Don’t date single mothers and don’t waste your time with them. There are four billion women in this world. If you’re patient, you’ll find a good one.
Follow original debate here
Sunday, 10 January 2016
Every new dawn is a new beginning and an opportunity to start over....This list tells shows you 70 things every woman must do now to have the life she wants.
- Don’t let others dictate the terms of your life. Start living life on your terms.
- Wear your hair the way you want.
- Wear your makeup the way you want or don’t wear any at all. Remember, it’s your choice.
- Dress the way you want.
- Be who you want to be in a world that tries to tell you who you shouldn’t be.
- Boxes are made for clothes, not people. Step outside the box and step in your greatness.
- Guard your mind, spirit and body.
- Let go of toxic relationships, even if its with family.
- Being nice doesn’t mean you should be treated like trash. You deserve respect.
- If someone treats you like trash the first time, they’ll probably treat you like that again. Leave them alone.
- Support people who support you. Demand reciprocity.
- Stop being hard on yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. Forgive yourself and learn from them.
- Stop saying “I’m sorry” for no reason. You may not realize it, but you’re apologizing for being who you are. STOP!
- Don’t. Apologize. For. Being. You.
- Say no and don’t feel bad about it.
- Remember, no one is entitled to your time, energy, money, body or attention because of who they are or what they have. This is your life. (See #15)
- You don’t need the validation of others. The only person you have to prove something to is you.
- What we spend most on time on is our priority. Ask yourself, what do you spend the most time on and do you really want that to be your priority?
- Turn off the news and get off the internet. It only depresses you on purpose.
- Don’t argue with racists, sexist, bigots, strangers and random trolls on the internet. It’s a waste of your precious time. You’ll never change a mind that is emotionally and financially invested in your humiliation and subjugation.
- Block people and negativity ruthlessly!
- If someone doesn’t like you, so what. That’s their problem and their loss.
- Practice self-care. Self-care is an act of self-preservation and self-love. Protect and nurture your space, mind, body and spirit.
- Put yourself first. Take care of yourself. Get your checkups and listen to the doctor’s advice.
- Meditate, pray, dance, exercise, walk and listen to music more. Whatever it is; do things that alleviate negative stress.
- Get a massage. (HELLO Groupon)
- Date who you want.
- Remember you’re a prize! People must earn your time, energy, trust and love.
- Be mysterious!
- Fall in love with someone who loves you more than you love you.
- Travel to a different city, state or even country. (Get a passport)
- Try different foods.
- Make new friends.
- Learn a different language.
- Remember you deserve love and be loved.
- Love yourself the way you want someone else to love you.
- How you start in life, doesn’t have to be how you live your life. Walk your own path.
- Don’t settle for mediocrity.
- Embrace change.
- Challenge yourself. Go beyond where you think you can go. Just when you think you’ve gone as far as you can, climb a little higher, dig a little deeper and push a little bit harder. Make a commitment to yourself and your deity (if you believe in one) to do this every single day.
- Try and succeed or fail. You’ll never know how far you can go until you try.
- Also, try your best!
- Trust your instincts. Your instincts exist to protect you.
- Unsure about your life? Surround yourself with positive and ambitious people. Behaviors are contagious. They’ll make you positive and ambitious.
- Inspire someone!
- Be inspired!
- Get a mentor.
- Be a mentor.
- Remember you’re more powerful than you think.
- Stop waiting for permission and give yourself permission.
- If you want something, go get it.
- Inaction is an action. If we decide to do nothing, we can also decide to do something. You have a choice.
- Fear isn’t real. It’s a waste of time.
- If you don’t like the direction of your life, change it. When we change our minds, we can change our reality.
- Don’t let someone else’s limitations on you become your expectations.
- Believe in yourself, your dreams and your destiny.
- Learn something new!
- Create a dream board and put everything you want on it.
- Write down your goals.
- Create action steps to achieve them.
- Focus and work on your goals.
- Never give up on your goals.
- If someone doesn’t believe in you, so what. What matters is that you believe in yourself.
- If you’re having a bad day, don’t forget some people didn’t get a chance to see today. Be grateful for the gift of life.
- Remember you’re supposed to be here.
- You’re responsible for your life.
- Fall in love with you today.
- Laugh more!
- Be yourself!
- Love more and enjoy life!