This is a continuation of
SEE ME SEE TROUBLE MY PIPULet me start by saying people have always said that I am quirky, quite intelligent and somewhat old fashioned and always seek enlightenment in every field possible so why am I not married yet? all I can reply is that I want a stable marriage. I wanted to live with an intelligent, educated( both formal or informal)man that I have things in common with, someone I can discuss with intellectually with, someone who is patient and gentle, very capable of laughing in difficult situations. He maybe a party person, who moderately loves the delights of Holland (Wink), a sports/sports channel fan but understand I prefer romantic quiet moments, prefer discussing issues like; politics, family life, relationships and so on. In addition I would love to spend time and my earnings on the less privileged, love walks in the park, attending plays at the theatre, climbing mountains and just enjoying being together thats the kind of man that I could spend the rest of my life with.
Yeah thats me up there trying on a wedding dress as my closest friend, Jing Zhao was interested wedding dresses that day at one of the shops at Selfridges, London My parents have put so much pressure on me that I have been forced to consider the wrong people and call it God's special Grace, raw instinct or self preservation but even with the gernomous pressure I flee from those wrong people.
Ever since I relocated I have met mostly dishonest, abusive, unreliable or gold digger types (though I blame the latter economy) Yes I have met decent people too but they are almost all happily married.
Soh He was one of the few people I met on my first week here. He asked for my number and call it loneliness I gave it to him. From there we chatted a lot. He told me he was renting his place and his earnings were xxxxxx. (I didnt ask him o!!) Then we started going on dates where he will insist on surprising me with the "tastes of Abuja" which consisted of sharing a single shawarma on two occassions. Then he just like that wanted to make out and even have sex. I told him in clear terms, that he hasnt even asked me out, I have certain priniciples on making out & sexual intercourse (no i no holy pass but you get the drill). He went quiet and then said he understood. Needless to say I saw less and less of him, he stopped calling, when I called he was busy. When we mistakenly met he told me "his relative" was ill. At the same time I fell very ill and thought it was a small thing until I was rushed to the hospital. On resumption I went to the company clinic (
where I met Doh a consultant doctor taking a maternity cover for our regular doctor. more later) Well with Soh I figured it was the whole I refuse-to-make out-and-have-sex-barely-a-week-after-knowing-you-exist thing and let him go, no be this age I go dey accept plate of rubbish jare..
Only for him to call me from the blues tell me that "the relative" lost his life upon all their efforts. So I decided to visit him at his home. I felt odd that he introduced me to his mum with my current post like one gbo gbo bigz powerful girlz, I felt odd...Anyway he sat me down and then he explained that the person that died was not a relative but his dad. He said he was ashamed at the time to let me know that at his age midthirties he was still living with parents, earning xxxxx.(All that wouldnt have mattered to me if he had said it from the start ooo but the lies killed it for me) I hadnt finished digesting the lies when he began on me, he rained verbally abusive words on me not being there for him. Being so damned hot and sexy on the outside (his words, i dont buy flattery that easily), yet having so called principles on the inside etc etc I managed (in btw the rants) to tell him I was ill myself at that point. Then he did a 360 and said now his dad was gone he was going to 'chase' me on my terms. I was just gobsmacked and decided to just reduce this friendship to acquaintanceship... not knowing one more shocker awaited me; one day there was suddenly no water in my area so i called him and asked if there was water in his, he said yes and said he will send two 20litres of water in jerrycans to me. I was grateful. Only for the next day I asked him if he could take me somewhere for lunch since he had a car and I was on medication at the time. He gruffly replied that I should go without him, he is in a meeting. I asked someone else (
fah more on him later...i say troubu dey lol) and he agreed and we went for lunch as a group. Soh happened to see us and sent me a bbm asking me to return both of his 20litres jerry can that moment. Laugh bin wan tear my belle so if na better thing he did for me he would have asked for it back on the back of seeing me eating lunch with a group of other people.I asked for a reminder of his address so i can send them to him, he says no he will come and get them himself. I keep his kegs outside my gate. But he comes saying he felt like a mugu, felt hurt and jealous at the fact that i went with someone else. He used words I dont want to repeat but wont forget. After all said and done, he says he will continue "chasing me" I said we are just acquaintances now as I have never met any man as petty as he was. He still insisted on chasing....
Well now its time for
Doh: His own was like a badly done Nigerian home video. As I mentioned before, I met doh while I was ill, my blood sugar level was too low so I had to keep coming to him every morning for an accucheck. So we got talking and one day he states that I am the woman he wants. I was shocked as that was unprofessional but I guess this is naija. Since I had to keep seeing him for my blood sugar checks anyway,I ignored it. But then he told me about himself asked a bit about myself (in the guise of checking my habits and why my blood sugar was so low) And finally asked me out on a date speaking a lot about my body and that its unbelievevable I was single with that body and look.(Again his words) Well my mum had spent that week guiltripping me on this marrigae and children issue even with my illness that I was almost climbing the walls in offence. We went on the date, I didnt like where he took me (nkwobi joint) as after such a bout of illness, hygiene was very high on my list. Then he drops me off, wanted to come in but I said no. He kept exclaiming that my area was lovely, that they must pay me a huge amount of money. Now all this I am saying is literally day to day like Monday then teusday then the next etc etc. So on thursday my blood sugar was stable and I went to the office for a full day and saw all the work I had to do was piled up waiting for me, so naturally I was busy but Doh kept calling just to say sexy words and just generally distracting me, so after explaining for the fifth time that I had a lot to do and that my position in the office was too strategic for me to use my phone at will, I just had to ignore him. That day I closed very very late and was walking home with a laptop and lots of documents, very heavy laden in a dark corner when
Tee called to say hi. I explained I was walking in ssss street when he asks me to go straight back into the office as its not safe to walk on that lonely road alonr and then he drove down just to pick me and dropped me off at home, with my bbm and phone going off due to Doh's odd possessiveness. The next day friday I spoke to him (Doh) that I would be in a meeting till late. The meeting started and he started bbm and texting and calling. (
Twas in that meeting that I met gigolo Rah) The meeting went on till very late so I honestly couldnt take calls nor reply text messages. When the meeting was over it was sooooo late, Rah offered to take me home and dropped me at my gate, On getting to my bed I read Doh's messages or at least his final one.
I thought you were different from other Abuja girls,you refused to pick calls because you were with men. If you ever hear from me again.etc etc I gave him a befitting reply and stopped all communications..He still kept calling and calling for almost a month and only recently stopped....
Ra:,Remember he took me home? he kept telling me to attend his church and preaching at me. I figured since he was the church type I have at last found an Abuja friend...This was until he started saying he had a fiancee and several other lady friends on his case but he really likes me, that I am so calm, so sexy, so hot I do things to him etc.(Again his words) That he is ready to leave his long term girlfriend for me..Now apart from him being almost as young as my baby brother. His tales were quite bizarre. He said his long term girlfriend is a virgin but was once pregnant but even after an abortion, she is still technically a virgin. Or the one about prefferring older women friends and how he used to give them great sex in exchange of material benefits. How one day, on the promise of getting a generator, he "did" one Bank Bigz Girlz till she had multiple orgasms but she never got him the Gen etc etc. I couldnt reconcile these stories so I finally told him to keep the faith in his church, and be faithful to his 'virgin' and maybe marry her soon before he gets tempted to disvirgin her again. Then kept our friendship level on colleague at work level because I NOTU FITTU SHOUTU NOR ADVICEU ANYBORRY. Everyone is entitled to their *ahem*
stupidity!! and beliefs.
As for Fah: he was just a short pervert from the first day we started talking, we hardly spoke at eye contact bcos he had 'wandering' eyeballs all over whatever I was wearing. Several times he was meant to give me sensitive document, but will first make to kiss me (NAIJA AGAIN and untop the fact that he had to almost climb a chair to get to my lips) at which I warned him seriously. Someone tried to reconcile us and that was when we all went for the lunch that got (
SOH) hopping mad. The straw that broke the camel's back was when I saw him with another guy at his office and he came later on and with pride swelling in his entire 5ft 4 inch frame, told me that the guy in his office asked out of some particular ladies at work,which one was he 'doing'. I promptly decided it wasnt necessary to have a friend in Abuja. I will look for movies or go to Lagos or/ and London frequently
Tee is nice, he came to pick me up that night I closed real late, even telling me to go back to a safe place (my office) and wait for him. Tee is a gentleman, the first and only time we went clubbing he was a gentleman and very well behaved making sure I got my home safely and going back to his own home. Tee is evasive about the real things but can talk a lot about vague odd, 'herbs' induced topics. Tee is very very laid back. Tee avoids discussing serious issues. Tee obviously finds me very sexually attractive and says he likes the mysterious way my mind works as well, Tee talked a lot about this multimillion naira business he runs yet he has no money to call me for more than a minute, I REFUSE to do the call back.
Tee is engaged, Tee loves topics about inspiration and business too. Tee recently opened up to me about some financial issues stuff and I said I would try and help...but...but....but...then I began to wonder why cant his family help, or his fiancee or her family help? and It hit me like a punch out of the blue, I was probably being taken for a mug yet again. I had to tear out my hair, shred my garments and holler (all in my mind) JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE STUDIED A COURSE ABROAD AND MOVED BACK HOME TO WORK DOESNT MAKE HER A MONEY TREE...So I stalled and stalled and stalled and thats where we are right now.
Now I am thinking of ways to avoid my mother's calls because they are ALL about whose marriage she attended followed by this annoying 'how far' which is just code for have you found a man to settle down and have children with within 3 months of relocation even including illness. Yes I want a family but please dont push me into eternal pain, I could be quite melancholic and sensitive so wont use my own feet to walk into eternal pain.
And on a similar note: A popular society lady once said
I think everyman is looking for a replacement for his mother. That’s one thing I have learnt. In life, every man looks for that woman who would not just be his wife but his mother, whose paramount objective is to ensure that he can be the best man he is meant to be. Perhaps in me he has been able to find that combination of wife and mother. The mother element is very important, because it’s only your mother that you would trust so absolutely to be able to deliver the best judgments and to be able to pull you back when they think you are doing something wrong. It’s just to have absolute trust in your judgment and go to bed with both eyes closed. Could she be right?
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