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Tuesday, 22 February 2011

Fourteen bible inspired ways to get a wife

1. Beg (LOL,I kid I kid I joke I joke)

1. Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours. - (Deuteronomy 21:11-13)

2. Find a prostitute and marry her. - (Hosea 1:1-3)

3. Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock. - Moses (Ex 2:16-21)

4. Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the
deal. Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)

5. Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab
one and carry her off to be your wife. - Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25)

6. Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will
cost you. - Adam (Gen 2:19-24)

7. Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in
marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work
another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place.
That's right. Fourteen years of toil for a wife. - Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30)

8. Cut 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law's enemies and get his daughter for a wife - David (I Samuel 18:27)

9. Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll definitely find someone. (It's all relative, of course.) - Cain
(Genesis 4:16-17)

10. Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. -Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4)

11. When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a... woman; now get her for me." If your parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me." - Samson (Judges 14:1-)

12. Kill any husband and take HIS wife (Prepare to lose four sons, though). - David (2 Samuel 11)

13. Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It's not just a good idea; it's the law.) - Onana and Boaz (Deuteronomy or
Leviticus, example in Ruth)

14. Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity. - Solomon
(1 Kings 11:1-3)

Happy Hunting. LOL



iphyigbogurl said...


no be small thing.

Wild Boy said...

Ha...MENA! well sha, i dig the photo..but wait..see where guy love dey and babe love dey...why now? Mena why??????


Have I ever said you are a joker?!
Totally! you are! How and where did you get this? LOL


kitkat said...

omg..u'r insane,lol
cnt stop laughing :p

Seshe James said...

Wow... Well done.. In that case i no wan marry again..... hehehehehe...

I love it.....

LaPenseuse said...

ahahaha...good one...yeah, the bible has lots of twisted love stories...hehehehe! I just found your blog! :)

Nutty J. said...

Laugh wan wound me for office....this list is insane!!

I no fit laugh abeg

Ibhade {NG} said...

:))))))))))))))))))))))))).... mena!

blogoratti said...

That's quite interesting,hehe.

Mbabazi said...

nice pick.ok seriously some of these should be understood in concept of the whole verse. nice blog

Omoregee said...

Really really interesting! Lmao! If only it were that simple......

Ur blog is quite interesting, I had to follow :)

Pointless Celebrity said...

I'm calling the doctor for you.

You are very imaginative.

I like that.

••• BD •••

Bronzi said...

This is a very funny but true list. Very accurate! Most people do know that these marriages are in the Bible but they are. Awesome Mena!

Sisi Yemmie ™ said...

LMAO!!!! Menaaaaaaa!Okaaay! I just stumbled on your blog and you made me laff so hard i almost peed in my pants! Got to follow u!

Mena UkodoisReady said...

@ Iphyigbogirl: Its not a small sonething at all! lol. thanks dear

@ Wildboy: Ehen na, thats why it is called the Awful truth. capishe? :P

@ Le Dynamique: Its been a minute! Indeed you have, remember the condom joke? How are you doing??

@ Kitkat: Insane? you got that right! thanxxx

Mena UkodoisReady said...

@ Seshe James: You mean you dont find any of them sexy? talk true oh ;). LOL!

@ LaPenseuse: Thanks and I am following you on the double! :)please visit time and time again.

@ Nutty and Ibhade: LOL, women don sufferr no be say we dey complain sha, make we dey manage am like so, abi? LOL

@Blogoratti: thanks. Lovely blog you have there, am following you and checking it out! Left a few comments, got them? please visit time and time again.

@Mbabazi: True, but it doesnt take anything away from the fact that these happened :)
Lovely blog, I am your follower number 79 :)I hope to read more from you in here and i will certainly drop my comments at yours. peace xx

Mena UkodoisReady said...

@ Pointless celebrity or should I say BD?: Please call the doctor, as my last one has abandoned me! Thanxxx dear.

@ Bronzi: (I am temporarily gobsmacked by the presence of celebs in my blog) aww thanks and thank you for visiting! :)

@Omeregee and Sis Yemmie!!: I just have to say a huge thanks to both of you for stumbling and following. Una waka well and I appreciate the kind words! I am sure you noticed your followers swelled by 1 immediately? Yes Omeregee I am follower nos 23 and with Sis Yemmie I am follower nos 97 . Whilst I am a bit of an otondo and a slow one at that with replying, I am definitely fast with following people who leave their links and faster with reading their blogs and leaving comments. So often times when I come back to respond to comments here, I have long since followed and caused katakata in the respective blogs. LOL.

And now I shall visit those fab blogs xx

Chizy K said...

lol... very funny. Good thing i don't need a wife i need a husband

check out my blog and follow me if u like it

Oluwatobi said...

This was really hilarious! It made my day.
Nice blog you got going here :)