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Saturday 29 December 2018

RISE AND SHINE? WHEN? WHY? (including helpful tips from a celebrity writer Nkem)


 

WHO, WHY, HOW, WHAT WHEN?

Who knew spending a large amount of resources and energy trying to give back to ever demanding 'humanity' or just being there in almost every way for humanity, whether working hard at a job, and yet the salary keeps reducing while tasks become overwhelming for one person or helping someone else's business to grow (with zero expectation) yet receiving negative backlash seemingly from nowhere, or trying to please family and never meeting up to very high rigid yet ever changing standards, can leave one feeling soo exhausted, drained and finding ways to cope.
Worse still, 'humanity' betrayed, slandered and mocked away all that energy...and yet...I still have to rise and shine?

Thoughts weigh heavy indeed, gladly the relative safety of blogger.com gives each user a place to express thoughts without feeling picked apart (well you sort of still get picked apart, I just used it for lack of a better word), an avenue to let it out and hope for solace in ..written/typed word..solace in words.

How can one describe these thoughts:

Its like:

...walking into a pitch black room full of objects at every tiny step.
...slipping from the side of a hill without any branch, or a dent to stop the sliding
...being carried along the current during a storm that does not seem to have an end

Looking to make sense of it all, I found this lovely article written by the famous celeb Nkem and a little piece of me is both glad and sad. Glad that someone can express similar thoughts and sad that she too, felt helpless and exhausted at a point. I shared some of it below, it is not my article and I do not own it. I admire her earnest method of writing and two points resonated so deeply with me.


...the year has been a kaleidoscope of some sort… if that makes sense. On the 1st of January 2018 when I was writing a list of goals I would like to achieve in the year for instance,  travelling to Bangkok for a protracted period of time was not on the list. Hell! A lot of things that has happened in the last 300 and something days has been nothing I envisaged by a long shot. Sure, I achieved certain goals I set for myself… like earning the desired minimum wage I set for myself, getting a car, going on the number of trips I wanted, becoming more extroverted, getting closer to God, e.t.c…but a lot more I never imagined happened to teach me several invaluable lessons. Of course,  if narrate them all, I would probably have to publish my own “We’re going to need more wine”, so maybe I’ll settle for sharing 3 of these things I have learned and the events that lead me to the realization.

DO NOT buy a Nigerian Used car
I found myself with a 2012 Toyota Corolla, Nigerian used of course. Little did I know that I had spent a huge chunk of my savings buying a liability...When I finally decided to sell it,their analysis.. discovered that the car was originally a 2008 model which was revamped to look like a 2012. Kai!

A toxic work environment is more likely to change you than you can change it
This year I left a job I  had since I graduated from university. My very first job. I had worked there for 7 and half years and had never for one day gotten a bad performance review, even though I combined this job with other  tasking side jobs. Sure, I did get a promotion at some point, but the major promotion that I wanted…the game changing one that I needed to really validate that endeavour was being eternally delayed for reasons I couldn’t really place my finger on (even though I had been recommended for it by two different HODs ).  Actually, I was doing the job already, except that I did not have the title and the money that came with it.

Because I had been there for so long, I felt a measure of loyalty; I felt that if I just stayed and maybe worked even harder, things would change. I guess it eventually dawned on me that I was hitting my hands on a tipper loaded with sand (the adage sounds so much better in igbo). I realize how toxic it was – not just for me professionally, but for my mental health as well. I was losing my passion for that field and I was just unhappy. This job was turning me into a shadow of who I really was ; I realized I had to quit.(this account hit me like a ton of bricks, it got so bad that at a point my heart raced faster,  at the thought of going back to that toxic environment with visibly decreasing remuneration)
Of course I didn’t realize at the time that God had something much better in store for me and it was really all orchestrated, but I learned the important lesson that a toxic work environment is more likely to change you than you can change it. It is best to leave. Sometimes life gives us roadblocks for a reason, and we need to recognize when to quit- whether in a relationship that just isn’t working out, or perhaps a change in our career path. I guess it helped that I had enough money saved, so I had the option to walk out without hesitation
.

Just because they are family does not mean they cannot be toxic (very deep sigh)
I am someone who values family above everything else. There is nothing my sisters or nephews would ask that I do that I would not – as long as I have the ability or means to do it. There have been times I had sleepless nights trying to figure out how to meet the requests for them. .. Actually, I grew up being controlled..

Becoming an adult and gaining my independence of course gave me a measure of control; I could make my decisions for myself without necessarily being “called to order” or judged unnecessarily. Even then, there was still a shortage of autonomy and this persistent self-betrayal where I find myself constantly changing my opinion to please my siblings or not being able to say ‘No’ when I really should.  These are, on a normal day, what I would classify as  signs of a damaging relationship… but because it was family, I did not want to look at it that way.
A few month ago, however, I overheard a conversation between two of my sisters and they were talking about me. They don’t know that I know about that conversation as I did not confront them over it (I also know they won’t read this article), but it kind of yanked my eyes open and made me realize that what we had was an unhealthy relationship. Any relationship in which you experience withdrawals of energy without deposits will definitely leave you in negative. It is toxic and you have to cut it off or manage it accordingly. Being family does not make it any different, especially when it starts to affect your mental health and general state of being. (this hit me hard, got me very teary)

It’s okay to manage anxiety with a pill
I really do not want to talk about this, but what is the point in writing this article if I’m not going to be completely honest. A major part of my 2018 was me handling anxiety. Very few of my friends know this, and my family do not know the extent to which it may have gone. Most times I just said to them: “Oh, I went to the hospital today, it’s nothing, I’m okay”. Actually, I remember the first time I went to the hospital (late 2016) and they diagnosed stress. It was funny to me because the doctor asked me : did you lose someone special? Did your heart get broken? Did you lose your job? e.t.c… I said ‘no’ to all these questions

It was unreal how stress could come with physical symptoms. At the time, I had about 3 tasking jobs, other freelance writing gigs and zero social life, so I decided to cut them down and socialize more.  I even invited a friend to come live with me. I did not take the pills they gave me to “relax” at the time, because it was just ridiculous.
Then in 2018, it become worse.  This time in addition to chest pain, rashes, even worse pain from the shoulder and arm, shortness of breath, dizziness and  nausea, I started having  panic attacks. If you have ever had a full-blown panic attack, you would know that it is not a joke. I would not even wish it on my enemy.
This time the doctor did several tests and said it was stress-induced anxiety. At this time I just had two jobs and a few freelance writing gigs. They weren’t really physically or mentally exerting, why would I take pills, biko? I refused to take the pills. But then, it started to affect the quality of my life: I wasn’t giving my best at my different jobs, I was disappointing everyone, being unnecessarily difficult in my relationships… and basically becoming someone else actually.
I remember that a client I respected a lot called because I had missed a lot of deadlines. I had actually planned these articles, but had spent most of my valuable time zoning out, as I was consistently losing motivation and focus for everything. I remember that when I considered telling her what was really happening, it just seemed silly. Actually I think I did tell her, but in a half- baked way that probably made me look like a phoney. I don’t know. To cut long story short, after the last panic attack, I decided to actually accept this diagnosis and take the pills, and also adjust my lifestyle. And it worked!

I guess my point is, 2018 taught me that it is okay to accept stress as a diagnosis; it doesn’t make you weird or inadequate or a psycho who can no longer be loved.  And even more, there is nothing wrong with taking medication for it. Just don’t get to the point of addiction though

Believe bigger. We have access to anything that we can believe God for…anything
Those who know me will tell you that I have come through life and conquered a lot by my faith in God, through Jesus Christ. I am not the most righteous or the best christian; heck, I even almost dated an atheist at some point this year (God forgive your daughter). In the last years, I had backslid a lot and my relationship with God had really watered down, until an incident this year got me realizing that even when I was closer to God back then, I was not believing big enough. The truth is, if you have faith enough, you can access anything and within the time frame you want it. No joke. And it’s not magic. It is simply by hard core un-staggering faith.

I remember I got a job to move to Israel by September, but thanks to our green passport, the work visa process became a drag and I had to quit the process entirely. It was certainly something would have tipped me into a state of depression, but here’s the thing: in the space of five days from the day I realized I wasn’t going to move to Rawabi anymore, I did a series of  interviews got another job and moved to Bangkok… in the blink of an eye.
If you have been to Bangkok or South East Asia, you will know how difficult the process with NDLEA and processing the work visa can be.

Of course, I am omitting certain juicy details but the essential thing I picked was this: there is nothing too big to imagine or have faith for.
***

Mena: Go forth and Conquer Nkem, (believe it or not, I cheered for Nkem, this hardworking young lady deserves this and more)
and as for my state of mind.. *for now I am blinking back tears from sheer exhaustion from wild thoughts* lets end it with words from my so called friend as (s)he dismissed my worries by saying 'las las you go dey alright'

Monday 16 July 2018

Why 12th of July?



Why 12th of July '18? It could have been any other day but that day remains one of the worst days...
The effects of that day continues and today she is just about to face it, the next few hours she will face it..





She has used all methods of escapism and now there is no more.
As one who. even on a normal day, worries a bit about events occurring a million miles away, in the last few days, she has worried as deeply as she can and has been as anxious as humanly possible..
Her circle do not know the level of turmoil she is going through so they remain innocent and completely blameless.
The few who knew, even with no details, were deeply concerned and also remain blameless
The last sentence of encouragement she recalled was 'U shall absorb whatever comes' (sic) but she is not so sure...
..what she is sure of is that once again she feels alone as one foot steps forward and the other foot follows in this path of life..
..what she is sure of is that her heart beats very fast as she takes deep breaths preparing to face    whatever today, 16th July, may bring as consequences...
..what she is sure of is if she survives today, she will be spending more time writing
...and now, as unprepared as she is...the time is UP

Tuesday 26 June 2018

We held on to each other as I slowly took off her thong with my teeth....

Hello!

So I was alarmed at the number of young people not taking their sexual health seriously. By young I mean from the age of consent to 22yr old.

I would have thought with the rise and rise of instant!information on all topics, the igeneration would be more worldly wise? Who would have thunk that??

I think its time for a repost, presenting the evergreen moral lesson, written by Obi Eze.......




From across the street, the sign at the clinic didn’t look as inviting as it did last week. It took a while before I could force myself to cross over to the other side. I walked in and said a muted “good morning” to the nurse/receptionist.
I guess she was used to people being apprehensive on the day they picked up their test results, and she replied with a cheery “Welcome sir, and how are you today?” I managed a smile and handed over my card.
“Sir, you will be required to see our counselor before picking up your test results”, she said without looking at the card.
“I already did, last week when I came for the test…she signed my card”
“Ah…alright then. Hmmm…your results have been ready since the last 4 days."
"Yeah..I was like, out of town". My excuse sounded lame.
"Please give me a couple of minutes sir, I’ll be right with you”
It turned out to be the longest 2 minutes of my life…I sat in the reception chair with my hands clasped between my knees. There were a 2 other people seated in the reception room but, as if by an unspoken agreement, we simply refused to acknowledge each other's presence. I guess everyone had a lot on our minds right about then.
I leaned my head back on the wall behind me and picked a spot on the white ceiling to keep my eyes locked on, allowing my mind to be flooded by the muted music coming from hidden speakers… “Gad…you gotta help me out here”, I prayed silently…
I tried to keep my mind focused on happy thoughts and on the other things I had to do for the rest of the day, just to while away time, but my mind kept going back to memories of how I got here in the first place.



.............................................................................

My job used to take me around a lot…and I get to be “out of station” sometimes for months on end. I was in the old Energy city for about 3 months…sometimes for up to 3 weeks at a stretch, working on building a centre for one of the communication companies here. I stayed at a small hotel in a quieter part of town…just a place I could kick back after being on my feet for most of the day on site. Being a loner (usually), it was my kinda place: small, hidden and quiet. My cousin often came around to drag me out on weekends and take me around town though. Most other times I just stayed in my hotel room, watching movies on my laptop or working, creating a “sound wall” of loud rock music.
Towards the end of the building project, a number of the advance staff from the communications company started coming around, “to beta test the place”, like they said anyway.

That’s when I met Nancy.

Smallish, bookish, academic type…shrill voice, big eyes, wearing a shoulder-length weave, acrylic nails..legs that looked great in heels, her skirts were always cut above her knees...hmmm, not bad!
I actually didn’t notice when she came on site. I just started getting reports from some of the construction workers still on site doing remedial work that there was this “bitch of a woman” giving them hell…complaining about any and everything.
“Just do what you need to do, so we can get out of here”, I told them.
On that fateful day though, I was in my make-shift office, in the still-unfinished space meant for “phase 2” of the project, working on my snag-list for the building, when this cute chick walks up to my desk..
“Are you Mr. Obi?”
“Er..yeah?”
“Can you come with me for a minute; I need to show you something”
She led me towards the back of the building…I noticed the construction workers we passed on the way there, who usually gave nods of acknowledgement anytime I walked passed them, did their best to stay away from her path.
“How come there’s water in the underground tank, but no water in the bathrooms?” she asked, pointing to the full underground water storage tank..
“Excuse me, I REALLY must apologise for that”, I answered “we didn’t expect the company staff in till Monday. The booster pumps are being delivered tomorrow and will be installed and tested over the weekend”
“Well I hope so, my people are coming in on Monday, and we expect to have fully functioning offices”
“Promise, cross my heart” I said (or something to that effect).
I guess maybe it was the “authority” in her voice that intrigued me…or maybe I had been away from civilization for too long.

I hung out with my cousin that weekend...we both went out to the building site first. She wanted to see what I had been working on all this while and I wanted to make sure the pumps were installed.
“Nice work you’ve done here”
“Thanks, I should be out of your hair by next week-ish”
“Na wa o..will miss you jarey”
“Yeah yeah”
“Hey, I almost forgot…a friend of mine, we went to secondary school together, she called me last weekend that she’s been transferred here by her office, a communications company”
“..and her name is??” I asked, wrinkling my forehead.
“Nancy..you know her?”
"Oh jeeez..!!"

I got in early on Monday to make sure everything was working right…I just HATE it when the advance staff comes to take over their building before I’m out of there...they complain about EVERYTHING…I want a socket here…My desk will be here, can I have a light point over it?...Do we have to share bathrooms with the HOD?...Can we have more power outlets in the kitchen…Can this window be widened??
Sheesh…if I remained here long enough, the ass-wipes will be asking for jacuzzi’s in their offices…
I don’t really know why, but I kept an eye out for Ms. Nancy…the place was getting busy with staffers sorting out their furniture and stuff. I spotted her waving at me from amidst her “people”, and she gave me a thumbs-up sign…I guess she knows the pumps are working now. I went off to my office to sort out my hand-over reports..

Thursday: I was supposed to be back in the Lagos office by Friday morning and I was waiting for the driver to come take me to the airport today. I had confirmed my flight for 4:30pm and called him, asking him to come pick me up by 1:30pm..it would take a two and a half hour speed drive to the airport and it was still 11:30am, so I still had a couple of hours to burn. I decided to stroll around the site one last time before I leave, maybe take a few final “after” pictures. Again, I don’t really know why, but I ended up in Ms. Nancy’s office. They were having an early lunch, or celebrating their new offices…a bunch of food packs were on a table at one corner of the office.
“Hey, Obi…you hungry? Join us na”
“Sure...why not?”
I grabbed a food-pack and a coke, then sat in her “visitors’” chair and we ended up talking for a while..about the building, about my cousin, her secondary school, varsity, MY secondary school and varsity…she turned out not to be such a hard-nosed bitch after all. The driver finally showed up at about 1:00pm and waited in the car downstairs. I sent him a food pack down to keep him busy. As I was about to leave Nancy, I leaned forward to plant a kiss on her cheek..I noticed she moved her head away just a tad, but stilled allowed the kiss..hmmmm..

Plane touched down in Lagos about 5:45pm...flight was a bit rough, but I guess around here these days, any flight that lands in one piece was a good one. I had just switched my phone on when a text message came in..
“Did u hav to kiss me in front of my workers? I dont tink dat was necessary, did u? Hope u had a safe trip– Nancy”
Hmph, drama…well, at least now I had her number (it hit me just then that I forgot to ask her for it...how the heck did she get mine?)
Stressed out with Lagos traffic and the “no light” wahala when I got home, I had almost forgotten about her till just after midnight. Bored with writing my report, I wondered if it was too ungodly an hour to be calling her…decided on sending a text..
“Sorry if I embarrassed u in front of ur subordinates..wasnt my intention. Got back 2 Lag ok. Thanx 4 d rice”
Reply came in half a minute later
“Dats ok..glad u got home safe”
Hmmm….a fellow night owl..cool..!!

Anyway, what followed was about 2-3 months of all-day text messages and funny/generic emails, late night hours long calls, phone sex..and this was before happy-hour was invented (hey, she worked with a cell-phone service company, they get free air-time) etc.

She called quite early one Saturday morning...
“Hey, Obi…a colleague of mine is on leave in Lagos…could you text me your address so I can send it to her. I gave her a something for you, she needs to know where she can drop it off”
“Er..sure”
The cute chick lying next to me groaned as she turned to face me..
“Who was that?", she whispered sleepily.
“Friend…no biggie”
“Shit..it’s still dark…wake me up at 7:00 jo..I’ve got lectures today”
“Sure”
Mandy was a “friend”…met her a few years earlier, and she went to Varsity close to where I lived. She had come over to hang out for the weekend. I sauntered off to the living room to watch early Saturday morning cartoons (at least we had light now; I better enjoy it while it lasts). Slumped on the couch and sent off the text to Nancy.
Woke Mandy up at 7:15, made her breakfast while she showered, and she later left for campus. It was almost noon while I was taking a shower when Nancy’s call came in..
“Hi Obi..my friend’s having a little trouble finding your place, I’m gonna ask her to call you now, so you can you give her directions..??”
“Yeah..sure”
Her friend called me thirty seconds later (she seemed to be giggling a tad too much). I asked her to hand her phone over to the cab-driver and I gave him directions. It wasn’t till I hung up that it occurred to me that Nancy might actually be with her in the car…and they were both on their way to my place!!
They arrived at my door about 15 minutes later, with Nancy carrying a suitcase (Uh-oh!)
“SURPRIIIISE!!”
“Yeah right” I thought…“Heeeey, welcome to Lagos” I said.
We all hung out at my place for a while…gisting and laughing…for about an hour before seeing her friend off.

We were hardly through the door when we got back before we practically went at each other like starved pit-bulls…she was every inch as crazy as I imagined and more.
Second time around was less frenzied…but just as mind-blowing, she was quite the gymnast.
Doorbell rang about 3 hours later (Shit...I had forgotten about Mandy!!)
Long story short…plenty of drama that night with Mandy throwing a SERIOUS tantrum and me having to do a suicide watch over her all night, and then Nancy having a girl-talk with her at 5am in the morning about the “unreliability of men” and the “need NOT to take any of them seriously” (What the heck…was THAT supposed to be helping??)...I mean, I sat there and watched them have a conversation about me like I wasn’t even in the room…weird!!

I had gone back to Energy city about 3 months later to see about starting phase 2 of the building project. Not surprisingly I stayed at Nancy’s place this time, and not at the hotel. I stayed only one night though.
We had gone back to phone calls...emails and text messages for more than another year, and it seemed like the long-distance relationship syndrome was taking effect. No expectations, no promises, no nothing (drama free, just like I preferred it).

Then one night she called me and asked if I was driving…

I said yes, I was still on my way home from work. She said she’d call me again later that night and hung up.
That was strange…she wasn’t sounding like her usual cheery self.
She called again at about 10:30pm..
“Hey Nancy…yeah, I’m home. Are you ok?”
“No…not really...was at my doctor’s a couple of weeks ago”
“Whoa…what’s wrong?”
It turned out that she was supposed to have a surgical procedure done, and had taken preliminary blood tests 2 weeks earlier which turned up showing that she was HIV positive…she confirmed it a week later and decided to call and tell me about it…Now THAT was a total mind-fuck for me. Torn between having to console her about the discovery, asking her about the up-coming surgery, and worrying about whether I was also infected, I only managed to fumble through my words on the phone. I could hardly put a coherent thought together, much less a sentence. The rest of our conversation was more of a blur…all I could hear was the blood pounding in my head.
She seemed to sense the turmoil I was going through at the time and started telling me words I would later hear almost verbatim from a counselor a week later. She encouraged me not to space out, to go take a test and take it from there. Needless to say, there was NO sleep for me that night.

First thing was to get a test done, right? Shit..I had NEVER had an HIV test done before...I know where they had a clinic close to a pal’s place at Yaba, but I’ve never been in there before.. it took me 2 days and 3 visits to the clinic before I could work up the nerve to walk through the door. I tried to look cheerful as I approached the nurse. Told her what I came for and she gave me a 2-page form to fill. Then had a counseling session…the counselor seemed to have assumed I already tested positive…and advised me on “appropriate behaviour”, diet, exercise and attitude “in case I tested positive”. Then it was off to the little room..a nurse came to take a blood sample from my arm. She seemed to be trying not to look me straight in the eye…quite disconcerting, that.
“Ok..that’s it”, said the counselor when I went back to her office, cotton swab on the needle entry point. “The results should be ready in a couple of days, you can come back then to pick it up”.
I said my thanks and stepped out into the street. Everything was different from then on. Work, play, eating, sleeping…nothing felt the same anymore.
It took me another week to finally go down to the clinic again….

...........................................................................................................

“Mr. Obi Eze?”
“Yes?”
The nurse had finally come back to the reception…
“This way sir”
She led me back to the counselor’s office…who waited till the receptionist left before addressing me. I noticed my pulse had become fast, heavy thuds in my ears..
“Mr. Obi, I wont mince words with you sir, your results are out and they don’t look too good. I’m afraid it came back positive”
I almost didn’t hear the words she said…my heart was pounding so loud in my ears, I felt it was going to explode right there...the room seemed to sway a bit. My forehead became instantly wet.
“Are you sure”, I said when I finally trusted myself to speak; I couldn’t even recognize my own voice…
“We triple-check these things, sir..it’s totally fool-proof”
She then went on to repeat most of what she said in the earlier counseling sessions, consoling me as best she could (or rather, as best her training could afford her)…I didn’t catch most of what she was saying, anyway…it was all a blur.
“Do you have any idea how you could have been infected”
I thought about Nancy then, but just shook my head…still in shock
“Have you had any intimate contact with anyone in the last 3 months?”
Still all I could do was shake my head. She didn’t seem convinced though…I’m sure she thought I wasn’t even listening to her (she was right).
“You might have to call anyone whom you feel you might have infected, and tell them to get tested…even if it’s just a routine test”
I nodded this time, looking at the floor…

She wrote out prescription drugs, re-emphasising the need for proper diet and exercise.
“There’s still life Mr. Obi…and so there’s still hope, you HAVE to live your life as carefully as you can from now on... Come back in another month for some more tests and evaluations, and we’ll see..ok?”
She said a few more practiced words of encouragement and even saw me to the door (I guess that was a gesture reserved for the VIP patients).
I stopped at the receptionist’s to make an appointment for the next month. Funny...she no longer seemed as cheery as she was when I came in.
The sun was bright when I stepped onto the street…people were walking along without cares in the world, kids playing on the street. It would have been a perfect day…if only..if only…
Everything was different now, plans I had might have to change, promises I made to people…things I wanted to do…ALL that has to change now.
“Damn”, I thought, as I crossed the street to where I parked.

Stopping at a phone card shop on my way home, I loaded my phone with air-time.
I had a few long calls to make…

My thoughts: The above piece, titled 'HIV+...so what next..??' was written by today's featured author Obi Eze








Sunday 20 May 2018

Amazing advice for ALL generation— written in 1997 by Mary Schmich,

Hi, 

I hope you are very well. :-)






Its been a while I shared anything here. Life happened and is still happening. Might share a bit if motivated or....might close it, if not.

Lately, I  have been thinking about how life simply does not come with a manual, and somehow I remembered these lyrics and it contains some valuable advice.

They are from a famous essay — written in 1997 by Mary Schmich, a columnist with the Chicago Tribune, I hope this means something to you, in whatever stage you may be, in your journey in life.
.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '97.
Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience...


I will dispense this advice now. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked...


You're not as fat as you Imagine.
Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind.
The kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.


Do one thing everyday that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy;
Sometimes you're ahead,
Sometimes You're behind.
The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults;
If you Succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with yourLife.
The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.


Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.
Whatever you do, don't Congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either.
Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body, Use it every way you can... Don't be afraid of it, or what other people Think of it,
It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.


Dance
... even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.


Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings;
They are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.



Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will Philander, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you.
Maybe you have a trust fund, Maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

But trust me on the sunscreen...

Brother and sister together we'll make it through
Someday your spirit will take you and guide you there
I know you've been hurting, but I've been waiting to be there
For you. And I'll be there, just tell me now, whenever I can.
Everybody's free.





Reference: Baz Lurhman   
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xavFb4WH7o0

Very powerful..even 21yrs after it was published!! But thats my opinion, did it make any sense to you? 

Thanks for reading, :-)
Mena