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Wednesday 30 January 2013

More about incest....:(

This is a long story

“I smile and well composed and I always appear to have it together, people see me as the perfect lady with a perfect life but behind this beautiful face and smile lays enormous pain, heartache and regrets. I grew up seeing my dad beats my mom at every opportunity and she couldn't do anything to defend herself or her children. I was the first of two children and four years older than my little brother. He was beating her one day and hit her to the wall and that was how my mother died. I was ten years old and I saw what happened, my father told a lie that she fell and died. Everybody believed him and life continued. My father married another wife just after we had my mother’s first year’s remembrance, it was another episode of violence but this time my step-mother wouldn't take his beating without fighting back. They were fighting one day and she stabbed my father in defense of herself, he eventually died after two weeks in the hospital. I became an orphan at age twelve and the only close family was my paternal uncle. It was easy for him to take us in because he wasn't married at the time.

To cut the long story short, I became my uncle’s sex slave since I was twelve and I had three abortions before the age of seventeen. I summoned courage to run away from home when I was seventeen but unfortunately for me, the only friend I could run to was living with another friend in a girl’s hostel. I was raped again by my friend’s boyfriend, became pregnant and this time I was told by the doctor the danger in having the fourth abortion. I became homeless and was sleeping from one uncompleted building to the next for the next four months. I was walking back to my “apartment” one day from the street where I sell ice water when I was hit by a car. I woke up the third day in the hospital, I lost too much blood and the baby was gone too. Double jeopardy it was, there was nobody to fight for me. The woman that hit me left some money with the doctor and promised to come back but she never did. I was discharged from the hospital in a week but there was nowhere for me to go except back to my uncompleted building. Then came my Good Samaritan, she was the doctor that has been treating me for a week.

Dr. Titi took me home to her family; her husband and two little children. I was with them for seven months and I thought heaven had finally smiled on me until her husband tried to rape me in the middle of the night while she was at work. I ran out of the house and kept running until I fainted; I woke up the following morning in front of a hospital and Dr. Titi was there again as my guardian angel. It was the same hospital that I met her, I must have intentionally run there but couldn't remember. I didn't care if she was going to believe me or not but I summoned up courage to tell her what her husband did. To my surprise, she believed me and told me the last house help they had told her the same thing but she didn't believe her until she ran away. She took me to her parents’ house and that’s how I became part of the extended family. She eventually divorced the husband and this time the wife found out he was having an affair with his Secretary.

That was twenty years ago! I went to school and became a doctor, live in the United State and married with two kids. I lost it all at age twelve when my uncle first raped me. I struggled through life just to prove to the family that took me in that they could be proud of me. I did it all for them and yes they are so proud of me but deep down I see myself as a failure. I was still hung up on the past and lived in guilt for so long. The guilt that I could be there for my little brother (I later found out he died in a car accident the day he ran away from my uncle’s house.) Life could be cruel to some, you know! I’m supposed to be happy with everything that I've achieved but I wasn't. I lived daily hoping I could die in my sleep; my past was always in my brain and with great torment it was eating me up inside. My husband tried his best but I was so far away to see that he really cared and loved me in spite of my past.

I can’t remember how he joined your group but he made sure I read everything you post on Facebook. I have no Facebook account so we always read from his account. And I became an addict but I soon found out that life was becoming interesting. I laugh a lot and my husband was surprised that anything could make me laugh this much. We started talking more by discussing everything we read. I can’t remember when but I know it was early last year 2012 that you posted something about incest and childhood abuse. It was a story about a lady and her uncle Bill. You wrote a long epistle about all the rape attempt you experienced and I remember you said something about you stabbing your father’s friend. I've never been around anyone so bold to talk about their past like that. I was encouraged; I broke down and cried until I could cry no more. It was a long night but I was happy I could tell my husband why I've been so unhappy, hate sex and why I couldn't love him the way he loves me. I knew I had to tell him and I thought he was going to walk out after finding out about my past.

I was so wrong, he loves me even more. We went for counseling for 12 weeks and the only therapy we've been having since then is logging on to your facegroup group Intimate Issues. You are a blessing and you are doing more than you can imagine, I cannot stand to see anymore more note about you trying to quit or how people treat you. Please there are many people like me out there that are blessed daily just by logging in here to read something to make them laugh, cry or just for inspiration. You have a perfect team of people, please be encouraged. I can’t begin to mention names but I can thank you and your baaaaad partners for bringing joy back into my life. I will be forty years old in August and I look forward to a bright future. And for all the laughter you all bring to my life daily, the Lord will favor you all in your endeavors. I can’t pay you but I can continue with my daily prayers for you all. I made it and I’m a survivor…this is my testimony, God bless you all.”

Dr. Olubusola Olufemi ©2013

Wednesday 23 January 2013

REAL LIVES: VICTIM OF DOMESTIC ABUSE SPEAKS OUT: As I lay partially blind on my left eyeon my hospital bed, with cancer...

While the above photo was from google and used for emphasis, the rest of this blog is a real story, copied, unedited, written by Beloved Apostle Bimpe on the 23rd december 2012

Every part of your body is more sensitive than you think. Whatever you do with it today tells on it in your later life. Don't compromise your body to irrationally secure your marriage, a man that loves you in the first instance will not bang your head on the wall or abuse any part of your body in the name of anger. When the consequences come, the wife beater will be there!

As I lay partially blind on my left eye and deaf on my hospital bed, with secondary cancer on my head pressing on my vital head organs, I remember how my ex-husband and run away father of my children Dapo Sorinolu , delighted in boxing my head especially in my sleep. ...many times he attempted to suffocate me with pillows when his many attempts to sacrifice me through the occult means failed.


I reported to Nigerian Police. Case duly entered and documented on threat to my life at Lagos State Police Headquarters: Rather than have investigation into justice, one of the prominent officers in the matter; then SHERIFAT FADEYI, now SHERIFAT SORINOLU dramatically become the wife of my accused husband. Casenote dismissed even after her confession before the assembly of top Lagos State senior officers in the presence of the Commissioner of Police. She was even given a plumier appointment afterwards. She is now a prominent officer at Milverton Rd, Ikoyi. I imagine what higher grade damage she is doing with cases there!


Not in bitterness but in deliverance of many others who are victims of domestic violence and abuse of power in Nigeria. I have had my portion of the bitter taste and now, living with the side effects of which cancer is one: STRESS from ..UNENDING STATE OF HOPELESSNESS.

But THANK GOD FOR JESUS IN WHOM I FOUND GRACE TO BEAR WITH MY ABANDONED CHILDREN. I hope voices of truth will arise now to defend the poor masses out there.

I say the truth, I lie not. below is photograph of my reported husband(accused person) Dapo Sorinolu and Sherifat Fadeyi(one of case officer) now Mrs Sherifat Sorinolu.


Wednesday 9 January 2013

REAL LIVES REAL AS YOU AND I (Part 2): I suffered and survived paedophilia FROM FAMILY!


I was only 4 years old when my father's only brother came to kaduna to take me to Aba to live with him and his wife. This arrangement was made because they had no kid after 7yrs of marriage and they believed if a child comes to live with them in the house the child will bring goodluck and the woman will conceive. luckily, few months after i came to the house, the woman became pregnant and months later she had a son, then after a year, she had another child (a daughter).

After a while, her kid sister who was about 6yrs my senior joined us in the house. her younger brother who was about 20 yrs my senior was with them in the house helping my uncle in his shop. As time went by, she started maltreating me, accusing me of stealing and bed-wetting which was done by her sister but she never believed it whenever i told her i didnt do it, rather she would punish me the more the stealing continued and increased to dipping hand to take meat from the pot of soup, taking money from her purse and other breaking things in the house and laying the blame on me. one day, my uncle and aunt traveled to the village, stayed for two days and came back, i was at school when they came back, when i got home, i saw a bundle of canes stacked together on the center table, they did not even allow me to drop my books, all i knew was that my whole body was visited with flogging from two of them without telling me what i did. when i was already down from pain and weak from their beatings and couldnt move, they dragged me to the room and locked me up. calling me criminal, ANINI (Anini is the name of one big armed robber that terrorised theeastern part of nigeria many years ago.i cant get these names off my head).

Then after some hours, my aunt came and opened the door and asked me to go wash the dishes and i slept that day without food. i was stopped from going to school, sometimes my aunt will strip me naked and leave me out in the rain and i had to sleep under the stair case. sometimes she would give me things to hawk and i must sell them all and remit the money to her. one day, when i came back from hawking, i left the money and the tray in he kitchen to ease myself, by the time i came back, the money was gone and i couldnt tell her what happened cos i knew she would beat me mercilessly, so i told her brother and he said he would give me another money to give her which he did give me. later in the evening when my aunt,uncle and her sister went to church, the brother called me to his room and tried to put his hand in my Vagina and i resisted, he told me he would tell my aunt if i dont agree, i ran out of the house in confusion. i was sleeping under the stair case when i felt a big and painful stick hit my body and i woke up in pain, they took me upstairs beat me up and left me without food and i didnt know what her brother must have told her. the next day they used a rope, tied my hands and leg and locked me up in a room without food or water and both travelled for a wedding in the village, i was left in that room from friday evening to sunday morning and that gave her younger brother the opportunity to satisfy his evil urge. he gagged my mouth with a rag and did all he wanted and no one was there to save me.... (i cant continue now.. my eyes are heavy.... will finish the story later)

........I feel stronger, lets continue, when the came back, they didnt bother to know if i was dead or alive, my aunt came to the room, loosened the rope and told me to go and shower that i was stinking, and use rag and water to mop the room. when she left, i tried standing up but couldnt, my legs and body were shaking. i didnt now where the strength came from and i dragged myself up, went to the bathroom, drink water, and washed myself up. the pain i felt in my vagina was terrible coupled with the feces on my body. i wept but had to keep my voice down.

Later that evening i was sent to go to her shop and get some items, then a medical doctor that lived on the ground floor saw me and asked what happened that am not walking well, i was scarred to tell him and i started crying again, then he told me to come and see him whenever my aunt is away. luckily for me, when i came back to the house, she was already dressed to go and meet her husband so they would go for evening mass. when they left, i went to the doctor and explained every thing to him. he and his girlfriend laid me down on the bed, use some things i dont know, cleaned me up and it was painful, then gave me some drugs to take. and told me to come to their house everyday for check up. since i was stopped from going to school, it gave me the opportunity to visit the doctor's place when everyone is away. the girlfriend would bath me with warm water and disinfectant, give me food and gave me drugs as instructed by the doctor. i know God brought them into my life to help me. my parents had no idea of these things and i couldnt use the phone

Days went by and the doctor and his girlfriend traveled but they left some drugs and money for me. one day my aunts brother saw me eating biscuit, when he interrogated me and i told him how i got the money, he threatened to tell my aunt that i stole it if i dont open up for him..... i refused and he hit me had, tied me up and raped me again. this time around, i was so mad that when my aunts immediate younger sister visited the house, i told her what her brother did. instead of confronting him, she told her sister(my aunt), she put on the gas cooker, allowed it to heat up, and placed my elbow on it tellng me that if i ever accuse her brother of such things again that she would do worse things than this to me.......
SISTERS, IT IS MY TRUE STORY and till today, my parents have not heard this part of the story...when i publish the book, you alll will hear the rest of the story. i dont want to tell my parents till they see the book cos i want he whole world to hear me and use the medium to protect their children against such evil

F. N. ©2013

REAL LIVES REAL TALK: I suffered and survived domestic abuse from MY A PAEDOPHILE WHO WAS MYPASTOR (part 1)

This is not too long but you will learn from it whether you are a parent or just as a person…


This is my first time of writing you and I've never made any comment about this horror. If you think you are working in vain, please stop thinking like that. You are ministering to souls that may never be bold enough to come out to give testimonies or share their stories. I'm one of those souls and this is my opportunity to say thank you. I'm blessed by this and I don't have to mention names but you have all changed my life and saved a soul.

I don't personally see the word sex when I read your posts but I pay attention to read the undertone messages. You are a very smart and interesting writer.

I’m a victim of sexual abuse since I was twelve, first it was my pastor. My parents trusted him so much they almost gave me away to him as a child. Everything was about the pastor and I was practically dependent on his mentor-ship. He raped me one day after I turned twelve. It started from little gestures and buying gifts and sometimes, he would ask my parents for me to pass the night or go out of town with him. It was one of those out of town weekends that he gave me alcohol and raped me. He assured me something would happen to my family if I ever say anything to anybody. I went back home a damaged teenager. I withdrew but my parents were too busy to notice that my pastor just took my innocence and youth away from me. Life became empty and I tried to kill myself one day with the rat poison and then he came right on time to check on me!

School suffered and I lost interest in life, I despised anything that had to do with the church. My uncle came to take me from Lagos to live with him in Ibadan and I thought things would be a little better. I was fifteen and my uncle’s wife one day came to my room in the middle of the night to force me to have sex with her. Her husband traveled a lot and seldom stayed at home, the only child was just two years old. I refused but the second time she tried; she must have put a sleeping pill in my food. I woke up in the middle of the night and she was on top of me. I ran out and I was locked outside to sleep with the dog. She lied to my uncle when he came back that I stole her money. The following day after a good beating from my uncle, I actually stole her money to transport back to Lagos. This time I refused to go home but to a friend’s. I became the black sheep of the family but something kept pushing me to stay in school. I did every dirty job to send myself to college with the help of my friend’s mother, he was the only child and the mom made me promise her to finish school no matter what.

Yes, I did but with my Master’s degree and a good job that my mates envied; life was empty and sex to me was a dirty and filthy act. I also stopped going to church since the incident with the pastor. I was on line the day you started the group and I’m one of the first you added too. I've been reading some of your notes on your wall and it’s been almost two years of cleansing, renewing and finding hope in messages from people that don’t know I exist. May 25th was a Friday and God gave me a special gift that day, I met this lady that became my best friend and I’m planning on proposing to her. I’m not obsessed but I just want it to be significant. I went to my mother to tell her what happened and to my surprise she believed me, I lost my father about five years ago. Forgiving her and the pastor was easy because I was already going through a life changing experience.

Now, I see life differently, I’m healed and I know there is hope for me and others like me. Please next time you get frustrated, think about people like me that might never come out to say thank you but are praying for you secretly.

DrOlubusola Olufemi ©2013

For victims of child sexual abuse and paedophiles, there is hope, SPEAK UP, SPEAK LOUDLY, SPEAK OUT, you just might be saving your life...and that of for part 2 here

Tuesday 1 January 2013

REAL LIVES REAL TALK: Is there such a thing as a HAPPILY MARRIED WOMAN...?.....Have a great 2013 one and all ;)

Is there such a thing as a HAPPILY MARRIED WOMAN? There has been so many stories of cheating, abusive, violent husbands. Husbands who clear out the joint accounts and disappear. Husbands who do not show love to their wives in any way. I will tell you something I noticed in many (NOT ALL OH) of my married friends, for the females one the moment they become wives they look all stressed out and unhappy and for the males they look very fresh, even fatter than before. It seems to be that the women in such situations are carrying all the responsibilities of keeping a married home, while the men remain semi bachelors only now they have a nurse, cook, maid, sex slave, gardener, driver, washerwoman who still works and (sometimes) surrender her earnings to him to do as he pleases. So I ask where are the happily married women? These women believe so, and if you are one, please share with us.....Have a great new year ;)

Ha: " I appreciate dat der are a lot of stories of husbands abusing $ battering their wives.
I want to point out (witout any intention to discredit the real life stories already posted ) that some women have been blessed with good men so let's celebrate our good men $ maybe post some things about them so that we also portray d beauty of our marraiges too
I'm beginning to fear oh!"

Happily Married Woman 1 (HMW1): I agree with you Ha, Marriage is something am really enjoyin rite now by d grace of God. We hv our ups nd downs, issues nd all, but his Luv for me is...... Can't even get d rite words! He shows me he luvs me in all his actions. When we hv quarells, he cannot sleep until we ve settled. When he has money, he always wants to spoil me silly,he still calls me a thousand nd one time a day. Kisses me nd public. If my husband has one million naira today, he wuld give me 800k nd say " baby u re d one running d house, u knw all wot we need,settle everything dat needs to be setted nd save d rest". Yes he does dat, but I can assure u dat I earned his complete trust in money issues, it wasn't jes born out of luv.! On my own part, I hv not jes being receiving nd enjoyin d luv he's bin showering on me, I equally receprocate in every way possible. I often buy my husband gifts,nd he's always soooo appreciative. Dis xmas I gave him 2 bottles of Mens designer perfumes, nd its not even d first time am gettin him perfumes, but he has told me thank u, more dan 10times, which is always followed wit a hot kiss......! Our luv making sessions re still very steamy, but not as often as b4( body dey taya na)lolllll! Well I think I hv said enuf na abi?

HMW2: My husband is not just my husband. He's my business partner, my friend, my lover. We work together running our business so we spend practically all the time together. We make all decisions together. We share household chores (no househelp bcoz we love to dey waka round house in our birthday suites, lol) We also alternate chores so it doesnt get monotonous. He is my number 1 cheerleader, always urging me to follow my dreams and passion. We have a pact to settle every disagreement before sleeping. He's always designing romantic ecards and mailing to me even when im right beside him. Every time he steps out even if just for a stroll, he buys me something no matter how small (biscuit, novel, chocolate, sweet, hair ruffle etc) Reads up on news and gists me to keep me up to date. He is the most caring and considerate man i know. I can get him to do practically anything coz he loves making me happy and i do not take that for granted. I trust him and he trusts me.
My mom loves him like her own son and always blesses him.
Many mornings i wake up to see him watching me and he goes 'you are so beautiful'.
Right now he's pacing with our son to get him to sleep so i can rest

HMW3: Ok na,my hubby is not perfect just as am not but we are a perfect match.He understands me so well and he trusts me with his life(d trust dey fear me sef).We share everything including toothbrush.He assists in d household chores including cooking(noodles).Our begining is a small one and we don't despise it.We've never solicited for 3rd party to resolve issues.Though not very expressive,I understand he loves and respects me a lot.I love my hubby cos he rocks.Don't even know who would put up with my small small wahala if not him.2yrs now,no regrets.I only trust God for things to get better,and better and better

HMW4: If u know me on a personal note u wld understand why am starting on this note,my hubby is a gentleman to d core,quiet,God fearing,dresses well and crazy abt the ground I walk upon. am noisy, always on the move, full of life and don't give care in d world abt fashion. Meeting this dark young, lanky, tall man has changed my life for good forever,been married for abt 10months now and I have never had a better yesterday,all I experience is love and spiritual growth. Before I married becoz of the kind of background I came from I told God I wanted a man that wld fear him and love me in a unusual way,coz if he fears God loving me wld be just be icing on the cake. we have had our own issues but d rule is settle before nite devotion takes place. He won't step out d door daily without a deep kiss and prayer over me,he calls everyoda minute when we are apart, washes my clothes,he cooks for me,baths me and hand's over his atm coz am more organised with the money. When I talk abt other pple's burdens,he takes it upon himself to pray for the person,he still sends me mails and buys crazy clothes/shoes for me. To crown it all I learnt from a little bird,that I wld soon be riding a new car(crowning my year with goodness). Sisters maybe its not much for u,I come from a divorced home but for me its restoration,my missing rib,my heartbeat,my life,my joy is Yamai(thatz his name) has given me heaven on earth!!!

HMW5: Ha, you are on the right path with such thoughts that there are still some very good men out there. I was a single mom for years till I met this cool young guy who took me and my daughter. He's never been married, never had a child, an ibo guy and the first child for that matter. Took me home after 3months of dating and told his parents that I was the one. We celebrated our one year wedding anniversary this December with a 3months old daughter to show. My life is sweeter and better, we are receiving great blessings that comes with marriage. I pray that my single sisters here find the man straight from God alone who gives us according to our needs. Amen

Ha: Thank you o! For me I'm praying for all my single sisters oh! I put up d post cos I was worried dat we would put fear in our sisters about to take d leap into dia own homes. Here is my own story. Hmnn I'm married to a very good man too..
Wen we got married he hadn't started much jobs yet(he's an architect)I was working wit a bank $ I had a house so we stayed @ my house $ now I'm not working $ he is, I'm reaping a bountiful harvest *smilingnaughtily*
He still kisses my forehead in public $ wyl I sleep. He wld kiss me everyday b4 stepping out of d house, wld say he was sorry once my mouth begins to elongate(lol) wen I'm upset my mouth elongates... He used to buy me fresh flowers $ choclates $ send dem to me @work(he made me d envy of my colleagues @work)
Anniversaries are a big deal wit him, every anniversary is an adventure. He bought me xmas clothes/shoes (I'm over 30). One day I did something wrong he yelled @me $ I cried, he apologised for over 2weeks+dashed me money to appease me(lol,I pushed my mouth till he gave me d money)...
D doctor asked me to loose weight (d 20kg I spoke about earlier) cos my periods are irregular cos we don't have any kids yet $ we re trying for dem,2my surprise he made a very juicy deal wit me if I lost weight $ also bought some machines in d house for me,den promised to hold my hand $ go on d journey wit me... We make love more times a week dan I can count on my fingers..
I can go on and on. Bottom line is I think marraige has its issues but its beautiful too, its has been a wonderful 2+yrs so far... I bless God.

Happily married wives that glance through this blog, please drop a line or two of encourgament.


Here is wishing all my friends a Happy New Year of new, prosperous and fruitful beginnings and the continued reinforcement of the goodness that God has already bestowed on some of them the previous years. May you begin this year to reap from where you sow! May your joys know no limit! May the Lord’s Mighty Hands guide and protect you! May you remain indomitable marvels to those who detest your progress! May the air you breathe keep you fresh; may any liquid you drink water your wisdom and may the food you eat strengthen you and immunize you against all ingestible evil! May your friendship with me be the fountain of many blessings through which the Lord will magnify you before men! May your love of God remain a function of your love for your fellow man! May the Almighty keep us hale and hearty throughout the year and beyond! AMEN!