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Monday 29 April 2013


Hello :)

Quite a number of my good friends got married recently. I am so happy for them as I am quite aware of some their 'trials' in the past. They have chosen to make this occassion private and I am respecting their wishes. But I think its fair that I dedicate a heartfelt prayer to them.

Most gracious God, we give you thanks for your tender love in sending Jesus Christ to come among us, to be born of a human mother, and to make the way of the cross to be the way of life.

We thank you, also, for consecrating the union of man and woman in his Name.

By the power of your Holy Spirit, pour out the abundance of your blessing upon this man and this woman.

Defend them from every enemy.

Lead them into all peace.

Let their love for each other be a seal upon their hearts, a mantle about their shoulders, and a crown upon their foreheads.

Bless them in their work and in their companionship; in their sleeping and in their waking; in their joys and in their sorrows; in their life and in their death.

Finally, in your mercy, bring them to that table where your saints feast for ever in your heavenly home; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who with you and the Holy Spirit lives and reigns, one God, for ever and ever.


Sent from a heart filled with joy


Ref: Book of Common Prayer (1979)

Wednesday 24 April 2013


So I saw this story making the rounds in cyberville, I was so provoked that I just had to leave a comment on that thread. But I got some contrary opinions. Anyway days after I am still puzzled about the story so I decided to post it here, unedited. My opinion is just below the story, you may wish to leave yours...thanks

Kindly Read This Story: Expecially Ladies Read & Digest It. Ladies: Ladies Let Us Becareful. My name is chinwe, I am 26 years
old, I never graduated for d
university, simply coz I was
stupid and careless, on my 24th
birthday, I received a nice gift, it
was a blackberry phone, I always
wanted one, it was like a right of
passage, my ex-boyfriend got it for
me, he was a student like me, didn’t
have a job, and I really never cared
to ask as he could afford it, my
concern at that point was, yes I had
finally arrived, other girls in my
hostel had blackberries and I would
always get pissed when I heard sounds
of pings and messages coming into
their phones at all hours and I
would stare at my nokia phone and
wish I could throw it away, but half
bread they say is better than none, so
I hoped and even fasted to get a
blackberry phone, looking back now,
if I had the opportunity, I’d have a
landline with no internet activity
what so ever, anyway I got the
blackberry phone and even got free
BIS subscription, at that moment my
life was complete, no more going to
the cyber cafes to check my emails, my
face-book or twitter, I had it all at
my finger tips, life indeed was
complete, or so I thought.
Anyway, I became addicted to my
blackberry and also my social media
applications, and since I had constant
access, I quickly gained enough
followers, and especially guys, mostly
because I had a lot of erotic pictures
on my timeline, I was popular,
finally I felt I was the main girl,
everyone wanted to follow me, I
didn’t care if it was virtual, it felt
good, checking out my profile and
having well over 8,000 followers,
more than half of which were guys,
but one particular guy caught my
attention, till this day I don’t know
what made him stand out, but we got
chatty, he sent me direct messages
and I replied, he was quiet a
gentleman , and I can’t remember
him ever asking for a nude picture
unlike the rest of them, so this made
me comfortable with him, his name
was tobi, he said he was a doctor , I
didn’t have any cause to doubt him,
he had extensive knowledge and even
gave me some medical advice from
time to time, we eventually moved
from twitter to blackberry chat, we
chatted all the time, I got so
comfortable with him, I gave him my
number, and that would come to be
the biggest mistake I ever made.
Tobi called me every day, some days
he called more than once, at night he
would call and I would lay on my bed
and have phone sex with him, his
voice was so soothing, he made me do
things I never thought possible, he
had gained so much access into my
head, I realized later I had done
some very sick and twisted things
just to please him, I would take nude
pictures of myself, I would send him
videos of me touching myself in
private, and send him voice notes of
me making moaning sounds and
simulating orgasms, and all this
while we had not met, not face to face
at least, eventually I played into his
hands, I began pestering to meet him
in person, at this point I had lost my
mind, I assumed I was in-love with
him, and when my boyfriend at the
time broke up with me, I really
welcomed it, for me it meant no
more sneaking around.
Tobi eventually agreed to come to
lagos to meet me, all this while he
had made me to believe he was in
calabar, and would take time off
work to spend a weekend with me in
lagos, when I heard this I was excited,
he told me to book a reservation for
him, stating he would pay me back as
soon as he arrived and also he said
it would make him more committed
to the visit and would convince him
of my seriousness, I bought it all, he
was smart, he was cunning, and I was
stupid, oh how stupid I was. The funny
thing was I had sent him tons of
pictures, and all I had was just one
picture of him, and whenever I asked
he would claim he wanted to be sure I
loved him for him, and not for his
looks, and sheepishly
I would try to convince him of my
undying love, and would try to
appease him with nude pictures of my
He eventually made it to lagos, I met
him at the hotel, he was tall,
handsome and had a wonderful
smile, he made love to me over and
over, and convinced me to spend the
night with him, I told him I couldn’t,
because I had a test the next morning,
now at this point I don’t know what
triggered his anger, don’t know if it
was because I couldn’t spend the night,
or maybe I said something else I can’t
remember saying, but whatever it
was, brought out a very ugly side of
him, he called me foul names, and
kept going on and on about how he
always knew I was cheap, and he knew
I was sleeping with other men, the
same man whom had swept me away,
slammed me on the floor, he told me
of how he had shown his friends all
my nude pictures and how they had
watched the videos and listened to
the voice notes, he told me he had
made a bet with his friends, that I
would actually pay for him to have
sex with me, just to prove how stupid
I was, well you can imagine how I felt,
I was confused and shocked, but I
attempted to regain any little
dignity I had left, and so I tried to
mouth off at him, suddenly he
punched me in the face, and I tripped
over, and hit my head on a stool.
The next thing I remember was
waking up on the bed, I was tied up,
and he was staring at me, his eyes
were dark and he had a sinister
smile on his lips, he stood up and
walked towards me ,I tried to scream
and realized my mouth was tapped,
my head was racing, the unfortunate
part was that no one knew where I
was, he turned me over, and told me
he was going to teach me a lesson, at
this point I was naked, he rapped me
from behind, and I mean my anus,
the pain was mind blowing, I
struggled, and he hit me, when he
was done he brought out a small
blade, and he looked at me for a
minute and said, this scare is going
to always serve as a reminder, for
girls like you always trying to be
more than you are, for stupid fools
like you, he put the blade to my
nipple and cut it off, and anytime I
think of it, I still feel the pain, it was
like nothing I had ever felt before, he
was calm, like he had done it a
million times, I could feel the warm
blood dripping down my mutilated
breast, tears of fear and pain
running down my face, and suddenly
he turned around again, this time
all I saw was a flash.
I don’t know how I survived it, but I
woke up in a hospital days after, well
I was awake, bt my eyes were swollen
shut, It took a couple of days for me
to open my one good eye, and realize
d damage he had done, he had
plucked out my eye, and cut my face,
he had cut my breasts up real bad,
they had to it out, like I had cancer
or something, there was no record of
who I was, coz he had taken
everything, he had taken my bag,
containing everything I had.
I was able to tell the nurses about
what I could remember, and also give
them my mum’s phone number, the
hospital felt so much pity, they
actually treated me for free, hard to
believe right?
Anyway I was taken home after weeks
at the hospital to recuperate, it was
tough, I was blind in one eye, I had
one breast and a hideous scar of my
face, talk about your sinage, he did
a number on me, how dumb was I,
sometimes I wish he had killed me,
but there are fates worse than death,
and I guess this is one of them, he was
gone without a trace, the receipt
from the hotel was in my name, so yes
he had played me from the start.
I didn’t dare go back to school, I was
sure everyone would have heard, and
I was not going to become a statistic,
so I decided to stay home, and mind
my business, besides what do I need an
education for, I’d rather stay home,
because there is no rising from this,
there is no happy ending to this
story, this is the simple ending, I was
a victim if a sexual predator, and I
let him into my life period, and I
take full responsibility for that, I
was driven by greed and lack of
morals, I allowed myself fall into an
abyss, but well saying all this doesn’t
change anything, it’s a memory I
will have to live with for the rest of
my life, well not a memory, because I
look at myself in the mirror
everyday, who would want to see a
nude picture of a woman with one
breast, one eye, and a stub.
I have decided to publish my story,
with the rise of social media
atrocities being committed, every
story can go a long way in saving a
life, so while you read, SHARE and
help someone back to the right path,
these internet predators are real. __ SL8.IT for Blackberry

Mena says: I take this story with a pinch of salt. I can see the creative juices are flowing to scare women. That said, this is a complete victim of a mental case, a sociopath, a narcissistic psycopath who deserves nothing less than the death penalty or the same level of violence meted out to him. Whether through BB or in a church, this sort of predators do NOT need a reason to destroy a life.


Sunday 21 April 2013


DISCLAIMER - this story is an adapted version of a true account. Any similarities with other true accounts are purely co-incidental. The names used are pseudonyms and the conversations, while they may not be entirely factual, are not altogether fictional. Some of the content may be very graphic and reader discretion is advised.

Date:Sunday, June 5, 2011.

Time: 2:08 AM

Location: Houston, Texas

Lola reached for the bedside table and picked up her cell phone. She took out the phone card from her purse. She called the number, and following the instructions, she was soon dialling (as usual) that very familiar phone number. 011 234 802 345 (****). The phone rang twice and a very familar voice answered. The familiar voice belonged to Kola, Lola’s fiance. Lola was in the United States and Kola was in Nigeria. They had already started planning their wedding and the wedding date had already been fixed. It was in 5 weeks.

Lola: Hello, Kola, my darling, how are you?

Kola: I am fine Lola my honey, my sweetheart.

Lola: What’s the time over there?

Kola: You know Nigeria is 6 hours ahead of Texas. So if you tell me the time, I will just add +6, and that’s our time. It’s 8 am. I am still at home, but about to be on my way to church. We have worker’s meeting before service.

Lola: It’s 2 am and I am all alone in my apartment. I wish you were here with me...I miss you so much and I can’t wait to see you. This bed is so cold without you. In 10 weeks time I will be Mrs Kola Odesola.

Kola: I can’t wait to say ‘I do’. I can’t wait to be your husband my dear Lola Esugbemi. I can’t wait for our wedding night to finally see you.

Oh, Lola and Kola have never met. They were introduced through a mutual friend via facebook 4 months ago. They started dating 1 week after they met on facebook and they both fell in love by the 2nd week after they met (I think he fell first). They started planning the wedding around a month after they met. Let me continue from where I stopped.

Lola: I can’t wait to finally see you too. You are my knight in shining armour. You are my prince charming. You are my dream come true. You are my soulmate. I love you!

Kola: I love you too, you are everything I want. Everything I need. Everything for me.

Lola: Ummmmm....I got to go now, I need to read my bible before I go to bed.

Kola: aaah, I don’t want you to go, but I understand...I need to get dressed for church too. Bye love.

They both hung up the phone. Kola was on his bed. The naked lady by his side, who had been very quiet and still throughout the phone conversation, smiled and demanded that they go another round. They had been making love all through the night. She proceeded to touch him in his sensitive places with her hands, and.....let me stop here (we get the picture). Back in the US, Lola hung up the phone. Out of the shadows emerged three men and two ladies. She was in a room, but it was not her room. She was on a bed, but it was not her bed. She was still naked. She reached for the closest of the men - it was time for the orgy to continue.

copyright* Femi Job

June 11 2011

Mena says: While I recognise that every case is unique,I, for now, strongly do not believe in long distance relationships, for reasons that will take all day to properly enumerate

Tuesday 16 April 2013


Here is a quick timeline for those who have not heard of it;

A pair of explosions rocked the finish line of the Boston Marathon this afternoon ... and the injuries are gruesome

12:40 PM PT -- Three people have reportedly been killed by the explosions. Dozens have reportedly been injured. Some are saying they were bombs ... but that hasn't been confirmed. There's blood everywhere.

12:59 PM PT -- Boston Marathon officials are now calling them bombs. There are reports of police responding to additional undetonated devices in the area, but nothing's confirmed. The BPD has called in all off-duty officers.

1:08 PM PT -- Police say at least two are dead and 23 are injured. The AP is reporting that two additional explosive devices have been found.

1:43 PM PT -- Reuters now saying that a fire at the JFK Library, a ways from the marathon finish line, is unrelated.

2.05 PM PT -- Authorities are scrambling ... security has been stepped up at the White House and in Times Square ... the FAA has established a no-fly zone over the scene ...

2:10 PM PT -- The number of injured has climbed into the 60s, according to several reports

2:47 PM PT -- Police are reportedly guarding a possible suspect in the hospital, where he's being treated for injuries. CBS says surveillance tape shows a man carrying backpacks into the area about 20 minutes before the blasts.

3:35 PM PT -- President Obama addressed the attacks, saying: "We still do not know who did this or why ... but make no mistake: We will get to the bottom of (this). ... Any responsible groups will feel the full weight of justice."

4:57 PM PT -- Reports of a person of interest in custody were premature, and police now say they have no suspects ... one of the victims who died was an 8-year-old ... and authorities have upped the number of injured to 130 or more.

6:00 PM PT -- Boston police are now confirming a third death.


And here is the controversial opinion (DISCLAIMER: It is not my personal opinion)

All citizens, of all empires, without exception eventually come to suffer the very violence that they have allowed their nations to carryout against others.

The Roman Empire sent its legions out to brutalize and conquer barbarian tribes, eventually the barbarians were at their gates and plundering its great cities.
The Russian Empire was drowned in a blood bath that cost the lives of millions of Russian peasants and the execution of the entire lineage of the Romanov Dynasty.
The European colonial empires sent warships and armies of conquest all over the world, only to lose millions of its own citizens in two colonial wars, we call World War One and World War Two.
The Empire of Japan was brought to an end under two atomic bombs.

The United States is the world's only remaining Imperialist Superpower. It is exhibiting all of the signs and symptoms of an aging and collapsing Imperialist State: crippling debt, overextended military forces, internal repression, social and moral decadence, extreme nationalism and demonetization of foreign nationals, a multitude of fictional and invented enemies, genocidal aggression towards national minorities, obsession with sports and gaming, emergence of right-wing nationalist groups (Tea Party Patriots), a growth of religious fundamentalism, end-times prophecy and apoplectic visions, divestment from social welfare programs and public infrastructure; the list goes on, but you get the picture.

There is not one marker for an empire in decline that is not present in the US.

So, regardless if it is coming from foreign terrorist, the militarized police, Right-wing militias, or armed street gangs; there will be more violence and repression. There will be fewer freedoms, and more restrictions on free thought and movement.

All of the violence we allow this state to impose on the Third Word is retuning, in one way or another. All of the poverty, environmental destruction, dictatorships, and wage slavery we've allowed "our" government to carryout against the Third world countries is now becoming our day-to-day reality.

The only solution is to join with the oppressed people of the world in dismantling the US Empire, to end the US military occupation of sovereign lands, and to divest from the Military Industrial Complex. We must re-localize our lives and our economies, we must humanize this entire nation.

Our oppressors will use today's bombings, just as they have used all tragedies to their advantage, to push their corrupt agenda, and to silence the voices of resistance. Don't allow them to induce fear, or to manipulate you into supporting their genocidal aggression. Stay focused on the real task as hand: Liberation.

My prayers are with the injured and with the misunderstood and with the dead...:(

Update: This is an On going story: Scores of heavily-armed police swarmed a Boston suburb today as the net tightened around an 'armed and dangerous' suspect of the marathon bombings who remained at large.

Today's stand-off followed a dramatic night in which two suspects killed MIT campus police officer Sean Collier, 26, and hurled explosives at police in a car chase and gun battle that left one of them dead and his brother on the loose.

'Suspect 2', 19-year-old Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, seen on CCTV wearing a white baseball cap, is on the run and reportedly has explosives strapped to his body.

The terrorist, dubbed 'Suspect 1' by the FBI, was Tamerlan Tsarnaev, 26. He died in hospital from gunshot wounds and possible blast injuries after a fierce gun battle in Watertown, hours after the police officer was shot dead at the nearby MIT campus.

It was revealed today Dzhokhar and Tamerlan Tsarnaev are legal immigrants who have been in the U.S., for around a decade. They come from the Russian region of Chechnya which has been plagued by an Islamic insurgency stemming from separatist wars.

The entire city of Boston is on lock down with residents warned to stay indoors, public transport shut down, taxi service suspended and a no-fly zone above the city...The 19-year-old, who attended Cambridge Rindge and Latin School, is an amateur wrestling champion who holds a Massachusetts driving license. He is a registered student at University of Massachusetts - Dartmouth. The campus was ordered closed on Friday morning.

The older brother Tamerlan attended Bunker Hill Community College and was studying to become an engineer but took a year off to pursue boxing.

He had recently been out of the country for six months and said in an interview with a Boston University student magazine in 2010: 'I don't have a single American friend. I don't understand them.'

Tamerlan was once arrested for domestic assault on a girlfriend, ABC reported.

A friend of the brothers told CNN that he had known them since 2006 and they were 'normal kids' who partied and occasionally smoked. A classmate told CBS that Dzhokhar did not have an accent and that he assumed he had always lived in the U.S.

The uncle of Dzhokhar Tsarnaev urged his nephew to turn himself in. Ruslan Tsarni of Montgomery Village in Maryland, said that the 19-year-old should give himself up and ask for forgiveness.

The father of the suspects said that his son Dzhokhar is a smart and accomplished young man. Anzor Tsarnaev spoke by telephone from the Russian city of Makhachkala on Friday.

Anzor Tsarnaev said: 'My son is a true angel. Dzhokhar is a second-year medical student in the U.S. He is such an intelligent boy. We expected him to come on holidays here.'

Click to See more




I recall this saying, "There's some truth behind every joke" so read and form your own interpretation and opinion.

My knee ached so badly that I thought a nerve had ruptured. I quietly got up and sat on my hotel bed. My cousin’s pastor, who had been referring to himself as my pastor too, did not notice. Sweat ran down his face as he prayed with so much vigor that it felt as if he was physically pulling the Holy Spirit down from Heaven to come and cover me and protect me from all the evils that were lurking around in my new work place. I looked at the clock and saw it was close to the time when a driver would come to pick me up. I signaled to my cousin that it was time to stop the pastor. I wanted to spend a moment alone with Hegel, Confucius, Descartes and Thomas Aquinas before Madam’s driver arrived.

It took a while but the pastor finally said the last Amen. Before he left, he dug into his bag, brought out a bottle of holy water and gave it to me. He demanded that I sprinkle it on my clothes before heading out to meet Madam for the first time. I was reluctant to accept it but my cousin winked and I obeyed. With a grin on his face the pastor packed up his Bible, his candle, a paper on which he wrote prayer talking points and other tools of his trade.

As the pastor walked out of the room after a few more handshakes, my cousin closed the door behind him.

“Now listen,” he told me. “When you get there, do not try to be a wise ass. Tell her you were sorry for all the lampooning you have done to her. Tell her they were all part of youthful exuberance. Tell her that you’re now matured. Let her know that you’re now ready for the responsibility of moving Nigeria forward.”

“Ok,” I said. He noticed a shrug.

“Don’t go there and disgrace me,” he pleaded. “I worked very hard to convince her that you were reformed even when everyone said you were ‘irreformable.’ If you must know, your appointment was a favor to me for all that I have done for her. I told her that I have a cousin wasting away in America that I would want her to help rehabilitate. Don’t disappoint me.”

I wasn’t going to take issues with my cousin and his characterization of how the whole thing happened. I needed him to get out of my room for now so that I could consult Hegel, Confucius, Descartes and Thomas Aquinas before Madam’s driver arrived.

Hardly did I open my book, How To Live This Life, when the phone rang. I picked it up. It was the front desk- Madam’s driver had arrived. I packed up my book, my resume, my NYSC discharge certificate and other important documents on the desk and placed them inside my Ecolog portfolio. I put on my shoes, entered the elevator and headed downstairs.

A well-dressed young man was waiting for me. He came to take my bag from me and I told him not to worry. “Ah, Oga,” he said, “I’m at your service.”

“I can handle it,” I said.

He walked ahead of me, opened the back seat door of a black Toyota 4Runner and I got in. He closed the door, rushed around to the other side, climbed into the driver’s seat and drove off. I had wanted to look around for the sounds and sights of Wuse zone 2 but I felt there would be time for that. In the meantime, I opened my bag, brought out my book and resumed my consultation with Hegel, Confucius, Descartes and Thomas Aquinas.

“Oga, how is America?” the driver asked, interrupting my thoughts.

“Oh, it’s fine,” I said, wondering what else he knew about me.

“Madam’s eager to meet you,” he said after a pause.

“Why is that?” I asked, almost regretting it as soon as the question left my mouth.

“Because people have been finishing her,” the driver said. “But she is a good woman. They just don’t understand her.”

How did he know that? Was he really sincere that his Madam was a good woman or was he pulling my leg? I wondered. I thought of closing my book and talking to him but I wasn’t sure who he really was. I kept quiet. I tried to read again but my mind was racing all over the place wondering about the intrigues of the life awaiting me.

We passed three security points without any hassles and pulled into the East side of the Villa. I made sure I climbed out before the driver could come around to open the door for me. A tall young woman came to the car to receive me. She was Madam’s personal assistant, I found out. She ushered me in through a series of doors and reception halls until we got to an imposing door on which Madam’s name was boldly affixed. She gently knocked on the door. A voice inside said "open" and she opened the door and let me in. Before I could turn around to say thank you, she had closed the door behind me.

Madam was looking out of the window, her back turned to me. Her red wrapper glittered in the rays of the morning sun filtering through the window. Her green lace blouse matched with the color of the office walls. Though the ceiling was high, her headgear appeared to be stretching for a touch.

“Good morning, Madam,” I said.

“Isi-okpukpu,” she said in Igbo without looking at me.

I wanted to say that I was not headstrong, but I let it pass.
“Good morning, Madam,” I repeated.

“Anu-nti,” she said, again in Igbo. I wanted to protest that I wasn’t stubborn or hard of hearing but that I felt it would be a wrong way to start.

Her spacious office smelt like a botanical garden in spring. I looked around for flowers but I found only a real dwarf palm tree and artificial flowers. The large desk at the corner of the office had a computer on top of it. Files and envelops occupied one section of the desk. A gold plated-phone occupied the center.

“If it were in the good old days,” she said as she turned around, “I would get some people to hold you down and I’ll use pliers to crush your testicles.”

No, she did not go there, I said in my mind. Well, great to know that we live in the bad new days, I reassured myself.

“Lets get to the point,” she said. “What will you bring to my team?”

“Please can I sit down first?” I asked. “My feet are tired.”

“Am I sitting down?” she asked.

“No, Ma,” I said.

“First rule: you don’t sit when I’m standing.”


“And I prefer if you call me Her Excellency.”

“Does it matter what I call you, Ma?” I asked. “Isn’t what is important the thing people at home call you at their dinner tables when NTA shows a clip of you in public?”

“I’m the one hiring you,” she said, her voice thin on patience. “You worry about what I ask you to worry about. Again, what will you bring to my team?”

“I’ll bring Hegel, Confucius, Descartes and Thomas Aquinas,” I said.

“Who are those people?”

“These are people bigger than you,” I said.

“I knew this was a mere waste of my time,” she muttered, throwing her hands in the air. “You think this is all a joke? Do you? We deal with life and death matters here each day. We deal with principalities far beyond what your silly mind can imagine. Are you ready to apply yourself or do you want to continue to kid around? If you want to keep kidding around, please leave my office.”

I pulled up a chair and sat down.

“You don’t sit when I’m standing,” she yelled, pointing a finger at me.

“Well then, you can pull up a chair and sit,” I said. “After all, this is your office.”

“You know what…” she started to say something.

“Madam,” I interrupted.

“Another rule, don’t even interrupt me,” she shouted.

“In that case you don’t need me,” I said, rising up.

“Yeah,” she said. “I get the same feeling.”

“If there is anything you need it is someone who will be seated while you are standing and someone who will interrupt you as often as is necessary,” I said.

She looked at me the way a hyena looks at an antelope. Then she drew her seat and sat down. I returned to my seat, too. I glanced at the monitor on her desk and saw that her computer was logged onto Saharareporters and the page that popped up was my column Correct Me If I’m Right. I stretched my neck to see the piece that was up: My First Day At Work.

I blinked repeatedly. I looked deep at her face for the first time and saw a restrained smile perched on it. A bag of skin was hanging underneath her eyes. Wrinkles round her neck betrayed some restlessness.

“What do you need, Madam?” I asked. “Can you separate what you need from what you want? Have you noticed that all the pains that we have comes not from the search for what we need but from what we want? Do you have mental peace? Who are you? What makes your life worthwhile? Do you seek knowledge or just wealth? When your journey here on earth is over what happens to the wealth? Are you concerned about the consequences of violating ethics? ”

“I did not bring you here to ask me questions,” she said, raw anger erasing the smile off her face.

“Why do you get so upset?” I asked. “What does that do for you?”

“If you must know, it helps me let off steam” she said.

“What else goes off with the steam? Your reputation. What’s left? Ridicule! Think about it.”

“Look here, Mr. I did not bring you here to make me think. I brought you here to change how others think of me.”

I wanted to use the fat analogy but I stopped myself. A fat person has three options to change how he or she is seen- go on diet, go under the knife or to tie his or her belly with a belt.

“The change must start with you,” I said instead. “For instance, what is your purpose in life? Do you care about being good?

“I don’t care about purpose,” she said. “Life is what it is. Why should I bother about being good?”

“Do you know that the physical laws governing things on earth are so precise? I asked. “Like the law of gravity that says that everything that goes up must come down. Does it scare you? Do you know that there is no room for chance in how things work in this world? Einstein said that God does not play dice with the universe.”

“I don’t care what your friends say,” she said. I’m here. Because I’m here, there is a here. When I am no longer here, there won’t be any here anymore. I live here. I do things that people here do -things that make sense here. When we get to the other place, we do things there the way they do things there.”

“What if the things that you see now are not real?” I asked. “What if the here that you do everything to conquer is mere illusion? What if you’re not the person you think you are? Do you know that the fluttering of a butterfly’s wing can change the weather? Aristotle said that, “the least initial deviation from the truth is multiplied later in a thousand fold.”

“I get lost when people talk the way you talk.”

“Being lost is not a bad thing, Madam,” I said. “Whether you’re lost in your blindness or just by accident, it only means you have an opportunity to search for ways, meanings, and answers. Questions like, should I pursue the “having mode” or the “being mode”? Dr. Erich Fromm said that the “having mode” of material possession, power, aggression leads to greed, envy and violence. On the other hand, the “being mode” which emphasizes love in the pleasure of sharing and engaging in meaningful and productive life leads to containment. Do you know that the future is nearer than you think?”

“You’re giving me a headache with all these questions,” she said. “Just tell me how you can change the way people see me. How do you see your role as my spokesman?”

I looked long at the madam and realized that she just did not get it. She probably could not, just like millions of Nigerians, both the oppressed and the oppressors. As the Indian scripture, the Bhagavad Gita puts it, “He who thinks he kills, and he who thinks he is killed; neither of them knows the truth. For the eternal in us does not kill, nor is the eternal in us killed.”

“How do you see your role?” she repeated, her voice rising a notch.

“I see myself as an advocate, your defendant,” I said. “So I need to know the real you, the real truth.”

“Like what?”

“Were you ever arrested by Nuhu Ribadu’s EFCC for money laundering?”

“What else?”

“When did you stop getting paid as a civil servant in Bayelsa State?”


“When you said some of your friends were already selling your properties when they thought you would die in Germany, were these friends your fronts?

Fronts you use to hide investments?”

She kept her eyes on me as she got up from her chair and walked towards me.


“What kind of permanent secretary are you? Ceremonial or is your name really in the books as a civil servant in Bayelsa state?”

“Any other question?” She asked. At this point she stood in front of me, breathing down on my tie. I could feel the heat of the air coming out of her nostrils.

“That’s all the questions I have for now?” I said.

“You don’t want to know the color of my shimmy?” She asked. “No? No?”

Then she pounced at me, grabbed the collar of my shirt and held me at a tight hold. “What else do you want to know? My weight? Do you want to see the scar of my surgeries before you become my useless spokesman?”

Her hands were particularly hard. I squeezed two fingers between my neck and my shirt to get a little relief. She slammed her knees on my thigh. I nearly lost my balance.

“What else do you want to know, Anu ofia?” she asked. “What? Oh, I got it. I need to acknowledge my sins before you. Dear Priest, I’ve erred. I’ve followed the devices and desires of my heart. I’ve left undone things that I ought to have done. I’ve done the things which I ought not to have done. There is no health in me.”

She edged my chin down. My eye balls turned around inside their sockets. She struck my thigh again. My only free hand went to protect my groin.

“Eh?” she mocked. “Should I continue from your book of common prayer? Oh, I do not sincerely believe. I’ve truly repented, Sir. I’m truly penitent. I want the rest of my life to be pure and holy.”

With all the strength left in me I cried out, “I need to pee.” She jerked me forward and backward and released me.

“Isi-okpukpu, bone-head,” she said. “Next time you smoke whatever it is you smoke, don’t come near this Lady.”

I staggered to the door, opened it and saw that a small crowd of people had gathered outside. I asked the personal assistant who was closest to the door where I could find the bathroom. She pointed to one end of the reception. As I followed her hand, I saw an object fly off Madam’s door, slightly missing my head. It was my bag. It landed on the floor and busted open. The contents scattered all over the reception floor. At one end I saw photo journalists rushing in with their cameras flashing. With a hand on my groin and eyes on the contents of my bag scattered all over, I was at a loss as to where to go first. I followed the lenses of the photojournalists as they zeroed in on a sachet of condoms and rolls of what looked like marijuana on top of my NYSC certificate.

I did not have any condom in my bag, I swore. I did not have any drugs in my bag, I kept swearing and protesting. The photojournalists kept clicking away. At one point they started laughing out loud.

And I woke up.~By Rudolf Ogoo Okonkwo.

Thanks for stopping by, for your comments and for reading too :D


Sunday 14 April 2013

GRAPHIC Sexual positions during pregnancy


So I will get straight to the point. At a popular lounge in Abuja I got into a discussion with some guys. It started with a big oga asking if I can loose even more weight? I replied that I am a work in progress and will try my best. Now this big oga weights at least 60kg more than I do and is shorter than me, plus his stomach and bum potrudes making his figure look like that of a pregnant warthog. lol. Staring intently at big oga's potruding belly I asked another guy how far along was his pregnant wife and trust guys to somehow lead the topic to sex. The general consensus is that they do not want to have sex with their pregnant partners, however as they do have sexual needs they intend to get 'assistant wife' from the university of abuja to help out till main woman put to bed. I strongly disagreed and threatened to inform the wives of the few of them whom I was acquainted with. The atmosphere became a bit tense until someone threw in a joke. After laughing, I informed them that I will blogging about sexual positions during pregnancy and they should read it and hopeful realise that what they are looking for in sokoto (uni Abuja under grads) is right in their shokoto (in their wives).

As I have never been pregnant before I did a little research however this is from the female perspective, so guys (you know who you are) read to understand more about what your wife is going through, *An exception can be made for the Big Oga with pregnant looking stomach, (and people like him) please parts of this topic covers your perspective as a proud beer belly holder, so read it too* ;)*

How you will feel about sex while pregnant depends on your individual feelings about sex, your partner's feelings, and the physical and emotional changes of this particular pregnancy.One minute, the sight of your partner makes you want to put him out with the weekly garbage; the next, you might want to ride him guarantee – while pregnant you will feel different about sex.

Some women become aroused more easily, and climax more quickly, pleasurably, and frequently, and many men find their pregnant wives sexier than ever. Yet while some couples experience pregnancy as a peak erotic time in their married life, others experience a downturn in desire or satisfaction. Most couples report both ups and downs. Fortunately, all of these feelings are normal. And the good news is a little knowledge helps most couples increase their sexual pleasure during these pregnancy months.

First trimester. In the early months fatigue, along with nausea and fear of miscarriage, turns sex into an uncomfortable obligation for many women.Be aware that it’s pretty common for some women to experience bleeding during intercourse, especially in the first trimester. This is caused by the normal swelling of capillaries in the cervix, which can burst when irritated during sex. While such spotting or bleeding is generally nothing to worry about, you should still mention it to your doctor or midwife

Second trimester (called "pregnancy's honeymoon"). Hormonal surges level off. Fatigue and morning sickness usually lessen, the fear of miscarriage subsides as the statistical risk decreases, and many women show a surge in sexual desire. It is not uncommon for men, enjoying the new erotic feelings of their mates; to feel that the sex they didn't get earlier was worth waiting for. The heightened sensitivity of the erogenous zones is so thrilling to many women that they experience more enthusiasm for sex during the middle months of pregnancy than at any time in their lives.

Final months. Do not be surprised if in the final months you are too large, too awkward, or too preoccupied with the coming birth to enjoy sex. In the third trimester, as a ballooning abdomen literally comes between a woman and her partner, most women report that they focus more on becoming maternal rather than being sexual. Even if the body is willing, it is clumsy.


1. Think round, think big. Consider what you're getting and not what you're losing. Your new roundness provides more surface area for your lover to see and touch. Stand in front of a mirror and embrace the new version of yourself. Take pride in your "new" body – give it the respect it deserves.

2. Give yourself a sexy look. Just because your body is getting bigger doesn't mean you shouldn't look your best. Treat yourself to a new hairstyle, change your make-up, and buy a new nightgown revealing what's appealing. This is likely to spark your mate and push your sexual image.

3. Act sexier than you feel. Social scientists have shown that acting can affect feeling. Smiling, for example, causes your brain to release the same chemicals it would if you were actually happy – thereby making you happier. If you act unsexy, you may cause your partner to feel unsexy, making him retreat. If you act sexy, you may soon surprise yourself with feeling sexy!

4. You are attractive to your mate. If you convince yourself that your blossoming belly is no longer attractive to your husband, you are setting yourself up for a sexual slow down. Besides, this probably isn't true. It's the different shape that attracts males. And certainly during pregnancy you will look and act differently than at any other time in your relationship. Research doesn't support your assumption that you are not attractive to your mate; most men find their wives' newly rounded bodies appealing. Your mate is likely to love the fleshy feel and curvy look of your pregnant body. Add to these features the possibility that once you are past the yucky early months of pregnancy you are initiating lovemaking and your mate is likely to feel excited about your sexuality while pregnant.

5. Have a sex talk. Tell your mate about the way pregnancy is affecting your sexuality; and ask your mate to tell you how he feels about your new look. Each partner should explain his or her feelings. Be sure that he does not interpret your disinterest in sex as disinterest in him, for example, or you don't assume his confusion over how to touch you now means he's not interested. By the same token, avoid projecting your sexual uneasiness onto your mate. He will probably find you more attractive than ever.

6. Share your body. Be sure to include your husband in the pregnancy by being proud of – rather than hiding – your body's milestones: your darkened nipples, the first tummy bulge. Focus on what is new and exciting that you will both enjoy only during pregnancy. For example, your new breasts will be "all his" for the rest of the pregnancy – what a turn on, without resorting to silicone! Lie nude together watching and feeling the baby move. Your mate will enjoy side views that he has never before seen. One fun project can be taking "as you grow" photos, month-by-month photos showing, from all angles, your changing pregnant image. Your mate will enjoy his "pin-up wall."

7. Have a fling. Have periodic weekend "dates" before baby arrives; after he or she comes you will have less energy for each other. The best time for ambitious sexual retreats is during the middle months of pregnancy, but make an effort to spend romantic time enjoying each other throughout the pregnancy.

8. Avoid the "sex as a service" feeling. While for most couples a certain amount of "obligatory" sex is usual during pregnancy, don't let your mate feel you are always "servicing" him (or her!), even though sometimes you are

Sex can still be comfortable, here are some graphic sexual positions

The old standby missionary position for intercourse may not work for you now. Instead, try these options:

Spooning: Lie side by side with him behind you. This makes for more shallow penetration.

You on top: There’s no pressure on your belly, and you can control the speed and depth of penetration.

Side of the bed: You lie on your back on the edge of the bed with your knees bent and feet on the edge. He stands facing you. It’s like classic missionary, but he won’t be resting his body weight on you.

Living room love: Kneel on a couch with your belly facing the back of it; use your arms for support. He penetrates from behind.

You will have sex again after the baby comes
Just be aware that with the sudden drop of estrogen after delivery, your libido can plummet and the lining of your vagina thins out, making intercourse feel like you’re losing your virginity all over again. This can be particularly true if you’re breastfeeding.

Most docs recommend that you wait six weeks until after giving birth (even for oral sex). The goals are to allow your body to heal, avoid infection and deal with any psychological or emotional issues you and your partner may be feeling. When you do venture back, it’s important to make your partner aware that you may need plenty of foreplay (an
d possibly lubrication). Taking care of the baby for you whenever possible so that you can nap couldn’t hurt, either!

For more tips visit the source at

P.S: Have a great sunday and may it be the start to a wonderful week.


Wednesday 10 April 2013


He mentioned this in an interview with CARRINGTON LEI. See excerpts from the interview below

CARRINGTON LEI: What I learned today: Pastor Donnie McClurkin isn't a man to mince words. Serious about the Lord, his ministry and his music, he speaks candidly in a no holds barred interview about his new CD, "We Are All One - Live in Detroit (out today) and is surprisingly forthcoming as I quizzed him about rumors of homosexuality and the Lesbian Bisexual Gay & Transgendered community.....

.......Speaking of President Obama, you, along with other gospel acts were tapped to perform during the campaign – were you surprised by the backlash from the gay community?
DONNIE McCLURKIN: Not at all because for the last eight years I’ve gone through the same thing. It’s not the gay community; it’s a few of the activist. There are a lot of people in the gay community who are ardent fans of gospel music.

Before we started this interview I went onto the Internet and saw an anti-Donnie McClurkin blog and they put this fake interview up of somebody who said that they were with me. In the comment section there were people saying derogatory things about me, but then the Christian community must have gotten a hold of it and they were supporting me and it ended up being a situation where even some gay people were saying, “Leave him alone!”

I’m used to this now and whether gay or straight, God called me to minister to everybody and those who have negative things to say, let them be the few and far between.

CARRINGTON LEI: Now, a part of the reason so many people take issue with you is because you believe that homosexuality is a choice and can be, I’m not sure how to phrase this – is "cured" the right word?
DONNIE McCLURKIN: Cured is what they have said in order to make it more villainous or controversial. Most of the things you read that I’ve said, I have not said. There’s always a spin on it, it’s all according to whose telling the story – it’s not good print if it’s not controversial.

I never said that I was cured from anything, I said that I was delivered, and that’s what God does - He delivers.

CARRINGTON LEI: So, when you say delivered, does that mean that you were delivered from homosexuality – or the ability to act on a same-sex attraction, because there’s a difference.
DONNIE McCLURKIN: Is there a difference?

CARRINGTON LEI: I absolutely believe that there is a difference. You considered yourself gay at one point and now you say that you’re delivered. To me, the term delivered can be pretty ambiguous, depending on how you use it. The difference in saying, “I’m attracted to the same sex, but I’m choosing not to act on my attraction” and not having an attraction at all is vastly different.
DONNIE McCLURKIN: Not at all. The bottom line is that it’s all the same. It’s by not choosing to act that the attraction and the appetite starts to abate and wane.

I’m a diabetic now and I don’t eat sugar, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t want sugar. The more I don’t eat the sugar, the more I lose the taste for sugar and the more my diet starts to change permanently – I can’t stand a regular soda now because it’s too much sugar. So, the more I don’t intake the sugar, the more it leaves out of my desire.

CARRINGTON LEI: I never really thought of it that way, but it makes sense. So, how do gay people who disagree with your position, approach you? Are they angry with you?
DONNIE McCLURKIN: There has only been one instance were I had an angry outburst. Seven people came to our church and one young man came up to the alter call and he wanted to become verbal and aggressive while people were up there crying for God. Well, I’m not the traditional guy and my thing was, “If you don’t want God, go back to your seat and sit down and don’t you ever walk up here again with this! Do you think you can stop this? You can’t stop these people from receiving Jesus, so you go and sit down and don’t you open your mouth again until we finish this service!”

Then they wanted to leave and I told them to hold the door and don’t let them go nowhere. You came in here, you’re gonna stay until we finish the service.

CARRINGTON LEI: Wow, how did that end?
DONNIE McCLURKIN: In the ministry that I pastor, God has given me the control there and I’m not gonna let anybody come in and upset what God has done. If you want to talk to me, wait until I finish and say, “Can I have a word with you because I don’t agree with you.” those words alone will peak my interest and I’ll say, "Come on sit down - let’s discuss."

Mena asks: Can people be delivered from Homosexualism?

Friday 5 April 2013


Mena says: Quite harsh but thats my opinion, what do you think?

There are a lot of things to laugh at in Tyler Perry's Temptation: Kim Kardashian's attempts to move and talk at the same time, Vanessa Williams's fake French accent for no reason (hoh-hoh-hohhh!), the alien dialogue, the blunt-force moralizing, the sheer ineptitude of Perry's filmmaking. (Worth noting: None of Perry's actual scripted "jokes" made the list.) But, that said, it is not a funny movie—it's a frightening one. Temptation is a movie about punishing women. Specifically, Perry is obsessed with punishing women who stray from the good woman/bad woman binary dictated by traditional Christian gender roles. That is the film's entire purpose. I watched it 24 hours ago and my skin is still crawling. And I'm starting to believe that Tyler Perry isn't just artless—he's reprehensible.

Temptation is framed as a story told by a marriage counselor to her client. The client, some white lady, comes in and is like, "I'm thinking about having an affair! YOLO!" And the marriage counselor is like, "Well, let me tell you a little story, lady. About my, um, 'sister.'" (The first of a million spoilers: IT'S REALLY ABOUT HER. SHE IS HER OWN SISTER.)

The "sister" in question is Judith—a nice, pretty, church-going "good woman" who wears ugly high-collared blouses, cooks dinner for her man every night, and only has married-sex in bed with the lamp off. Judith's husband, Brice, is a "good man." He works hard at a pharmacy all day, wears glasses, and is on great terms with Judith's mother. They are "happy." Except that they're totally not (spoiler #2: it's Judith's fault).

The first hint of Judith's discontent comes when she and Brice are heading home from a romantic dinner. A group of ne'er-do-well youths on the street cat-call Judith as they pass. Judith flips the fuck out and has to be physically restrained by Brice, who tells her to calm down, ignore it, let it go. They get in the car and go home. Judith refuses to speak to Brice for the rest of the night, because he didn't defend his property her honor by fighting the cat-callers to the death. He didn't do his manful duty. "But honey, they could have had guns!" Brice says. THEN HE APOLOGIZES TO JUDITH FOR NOT FIGHTING THE YOUTHS. I didn't see the rest of the scene because my eyes fell out and rolled away.

Meanwhile, at the Millionaire Matchmaking agency where she works, Judith meets Harley—the "third largest social media inventor since Zuckerberg!" (so, uh, LinkedIn? Christian Mingle?). Harley immediately fixates on Judith and begins scheming about how to get his penis inside her posthaste. Harley is rich, sexually aggressive (his dialogue highlights the inhuman weirdness with which Perry writes about sex: "Sex should be random, like animals!"), he believes in Judith's career (Brice, by contrast, told her that she should stay at the matchmaking agency for 15 years before starting her own practice—!?!?), and he goes jogging with no shirt so ladies will look at his muscles. "I bet you only have sex in a bed with the lamp off," he tells Judith. (Nailed it!!!) In a clunky counterexample to the cat-calling incident, Harley attempts to murder a doofy bicyclist who accidentally bumped Judith's knee with his bicycle. He is truly the best man ever.

Oh, also Harley is literally the devil. Linemouth.

You can tell he's literally the devil because he says things like, "Let me play devil's advocate," he drives a sinful red sports car, everything in his apartment is constantly on fire, and every time Judith's churchy mom sees him she starts screaming, "HE'S THE DEVIL. THAT MAN IS LITERALLY THE DEVIL." He is literally the devil.

And because he's the devil, he manages to "seduce" Judith, lure her away from her good Christian life with Brice, nose-feed her mountains of cocaine, beat the shit out of her, and turn her into a cackling demon who hates Jesus and never, ever cooks dinner. Back at the pharmacy, Brice discovers that Harley has been running around giving HIV to all kinds of fallen women all over town. This discovery finally awakens his dutiful aggro side, so he runs to Harley's apartment to rescue Judith from Satan-AIDS, and then throws Harley through a window. Then Brice gets a new, better, non-HIV-having wife and Judith puts her frumpy clothes back on and goes to church, alone forevermore.

Cut back to this dialogue between the therapist and the white lady:

"How does the story end?"
"Well, it's still being written."
"Did [Judith] get HIV too?"
"Did Brice?"
"Thank you so much for sharing this story with me I'm going to end this almost-affair and stay with my husband."


Okay. Now. Okay. There are three main areas in which Tyler Perry is fucking over the entire human race in Temptation.

1. Men Do Marriage Like This/Women Do Marriage Like This!

Temptation is a feature-length Chick tract, only with slightly less artistry and nuance. Watching this film as an atheist, it makes absolutely no sense. If you don't believe in the devil, which I don't, Temptation is simply the story of a 25-year-old woman who got married too young, is no longer compatible with her partner, is frustrated with her stalled career, and is preyed upon by a charismatic sociopath with a drug problem. Then, because of Perry's fixation on Christian moralizing, the film portrays Judith's contraction of HIV (deliberately given to her by an abusive partner) as a fitting punishment for her "sins." From a godless perspective, this is bonkers.

Outside the confines of traditional gender roles, Judith is just a woman trying to find her place in the world. She is confused, she is sad, she is frustrated. "I feel so dead with you Brice," she says. In the real world, women are not obligated to cook dinner for their husbands, or eschew casual sex, or put their careers on hold for their partners, or submit sexually to dominant men, or ignore cat-callers, or stand up to cat-callers, or swath their knees in modest hemlines, or be nice to their moms. Women are people. But in Perry's universe, women are women, and a "good woman" is a very specific and important thing to be.

People can have whatever kind of relationships they want—if a traditional Christian marriage works for you, go nuts—but Perry's insistence on punishing women who don't follow his doctrine of subservience is harmful and oppressive. Compliance with gender roles doesn't make anyone a good person. People are good people because they're good people. Church doesn't make you good. Loving your mom doesn't make you good. Even fidelity doesn't make you good. Those are all just excuses, loopholes, cop-outs that signify "goodness" without having to actually do the legwork.

When Judith stops being "good," she is punished. The moral of the movie is explicit: Stay in your unhappy marriage forever because the alternative is Satan-AIDS.

Which brings me to my second point.

2. People with HIV Are Not Your Toys.

Three people in Temptation have HIV. One of them is literally the devil (see above), and the other two are black women who slept with the devil. That Perry would have the gall to use HIV as a punitive measure against black women who don't fit his idea of "goodness"—black women, by the way, account for 2/3 of new HIV infections among women—betrays a frightening selfishness and lack of empathy. It echoes, very plainly, the old Fundamentalist rhetoric that AIDS is a punishment from god for the sins of the gays. Perry expands that rhetoric, sure—now dirty, filthy women can sin just like gays do!—but the message is the same. Casual sex is a sin and sinners deserve HIV. That. Is. Crazy.

The other woman infected by Harley is named Melinda (played by the Brandy), a saintly gal who works at the pharmacy with Brice. "I'm accepting my part in it," she says. She chose to stay with Harley even though he was abusive and she knew he was sleeping around. Besides, the film takes care to point out, she totally took Harley's private jet for granted—so of course he cheated! Temptation isn't a movie about Harley—who, after all, can't help his sin seeing as he is a demon from hell. It's a movie about Harley's victims. Only they're not portrayed as victims—they're sinners. They're to blame. And in the end, Melinda and Judith wind up alone, repentant and meek, while Brice finds himself a new, untainted wife.

Apparently this needs to be said: People with HIV are people. People with HIV are not a rhetorical device that Tyler Perry gets to exploit to keep women in line. People with HIV have healthy relationships with other people, regardless of HIV status. Tyler Perry is a bad person.

3. Harley Rapes Judith.

Here are all of things that Judith says immediately before Harley has sex with her in his private plane: "No." "Stop it." "I don't want to." "Get off of me." Judith does not want to have sex with Harley. (There's another layer of nuance here—one reason Judith doesn't want to have sex with Harley is that she's deeply invested in Perry's beloved gender roles. But the reason for her "no" is irrelevant. Her spiritual weakness betrays her, Harley can tell she wants it, and she's punished for that weakness.)

He does not stop. He just tries harder. He knows what she really wants, no matter what her mouth and body are saying. She never says yes. He says, smugly, "Now you can say you resisted." He has sex with her anyway. This is a rape scene. But, in Perry's universe, Harley is right. She did secretly want it. And that's the real problem.

Afterwards, for a minute, Judith is disgusted with Harley and with herself. She pushes him away. She tells him never to contact her again. But then! Then! She's back on the phone with him almost immediately (while Brice is caught up in the football game—doofy doofy dur dur!), telling Harley he's the best she's ever had, begging him to have sex with her again. Judith, it seems, is addicted to what the dick did. And now she's like, "OMG I NEED MORE OF YOUR SATAN BONER AND ALSO COCAINE." Because that's how us fickle ladies work.

This idea—that men know what women really want, that resistance can be fucked out of us (or consent fucked into us)—is DEEPLY NOT OKAY. It's not okay to telegraph this to young men or young women or victims of sexual violence or potential perpetrators of sexual violence or lawmakers or anyone. It's a paradigm that I was hoping had died out with Pepe LePew. It is frightening.

I'm amazed at how efficiently Perry was able to roll back discourse, human rights, the basics of consent, and storytelling itself in just one shitty movie. Perry has done a lot for the visibility of black voices in popular culture, but that doesn't make his moralistic subtext in Temptation any less repellant and irresponsible. The world should demand better than Tyler Perry.


Tuesday 2 April 2013


Hello and Welcome

This is a very interesting topic. I have always had terrible period pains, my parents never understood my need for medication. I have been called all sorts of names due to the fact that I always needed medication for my pains and oh the pains....but after reading this story, I see that people suffer even worse. I am glad Ms Nike shared her story

Endometriosis is painful disorder in which the tissue that lines the uterus grows outside of the uterus and on other organs. Endometriosis can cause pain, internal scar tissue and fertility problems and former beauty queen Nike Oshinowo has been battling with it for over 33 years. Nike explains:

"I have lived with Endometriosis since the age of 13. I went to boarding school in England when I was 7. I went to prep school. It was during the first few days in secondary school that I began my periods. They called the ambulance and I was hospitalized for 10 days because the pain wouldn't stop. The pain was so intense I passed out. I thought I was going to die.

Living with Endometriosis is a challenge. When you see your doctor, your doctor tries to treat the symptoms and assumes the pain revolves around your menstrual circle. But this is not so. The pain affects every single aspect of your life. I have never had an examination without my period. There are so many things I have never done without my period. When I am happy, my period comes. When I'm depressed, my period is there. I learned to just cope with it.

Until I turned 40, Nigerians didn't know I suffered from Endometriosis. I granted an interview then and people understood why I never drank alcohol and why I was into healthy living. At last, it was understood why if I come to your party, by 8pm I had to go home to take my pain killers because when you live with Endometriosis, you live with pain. I have a library in my home about pain.

I talk about this pain now so that mothers, when their young daughters are starting their period for the first time and it is traumatic, they should go to the hospital and have it checked out.

Mine was left so late in life in spite of the fact that I grew up in England. I have had so many surgeries I have lost count. I remember when Michael Jackson died and they talked about a drug he had been taking. I exclaimed oh yes I have taken that drug. You try everything to make the pain go away, so all I know is that I don't want a child of mine to suffer Endometriosis. The only way to make sure of that is to educate as many as I can.

One ignorant doctor told me once to try to have a baby, because once you have a baby the pain would go away. I thought to myself if I had a gun, I would have shot that doctor and I would have been locked and there would have been no one to give me pain killers. The reason for that relief is that when you are pregnant, you don't have periods and a long gap of not menstruating actually abates the symptoms of Endometriosis.

Women with Endometriosis do not want to have sex because it is painful. So you do not want to have intercourse once and it is painful, you will not want to go there. It is not something you are going to look forward to. You are either bleeding or you do not want. So, on the average, my friend's period is 5 days, mine, if I'm lucky lasts 7-10 days and if I'm super duper lucky, lasts less than 7 days. If you look at a girl's circle, 26-27 days, remove the days she's been menstruating and remove the days she doesn't want, when she had premenstrual tension. When every part of you is sore, on those days you are not going to want and even on the remaining 5 or so days that you are OK, you are not going to want to have intercourse it is going to be painful. You just don't want to, so you cannot have a proper relationship with men.

Endometriosis is a disease. You are not supposed to have endometrial tissue in your abdomen. Surgery removes it. But the moment you menstruate, the pain comes back. My understanding is that I have a uterus, every woman does. Something lines it. Just like when you want to bake, you line your pan with baking paper. That baking paper or lining is the endometrial tissues. But mine isn't just confined to my uterus. It's in my fallopian tube, it's every where. Everywhere this tissue is, when you menstruate, that tissue will be doing the same thing. and you feel pain everywhere. Anywhere that tissue is, it behaves as if it is the uterus. The purpose of menstruating is to shed the lining and come out. I know someone who has endometrial tissue in her gut. Even in the brain. When you menstruate, it also menstruates and you feel pain there.

I am almost 47 and I am looking forward to menopause. People like us look forward to it because it give us a breather. I have finally learned how to cope with the pain, how to live with it and how to manage it. It takes up a huge amount of my time and life...