Monday, 21 November 2011
SEE ME SEE TROUBLE MY PIPU....(PT 1)
Hello and Welcome to my first blog of the week. I am lucky to be alive to see the sky is so blue,even the heat of the North Central Nigeria is fine with me.
I hardly write about my personal life nowadays but so many things have happened and I dont know where to start. I just came out of the doors of death. This thing happened on the 7th and its just today 21 Nov that I am getting myself together. I thought it was dysmennorhea but it was much worse. I thank God I am alive
First my relocation was not very smooth, I moved from UK to Lagos and from there to FCT for work.
Work has not been smooth sailing I was thrown in shit creek without a paddle. There was no orientation period to introduce the new girl to who did what so I had to find things out myself. Well I found out there was a Queen BitchI.
Her reputation is all over the company. She is very very very rude. My CEO asked me to get a document for her for an international organisation and she shouted at me that she is not getting it.....The rumour mill is agog about her hold on my CEO bcos he did nothing. The same tatafo united says she had a tongue lashing from the CEO's wife due to the unusual hold she has on him. But thats by the way side, In another occassion, my contract reads I come at 9 and leave at 5 except where on expedient cases. So Iobeyed my contract till she queried me on why my timing I replied that its in my contract and walked out of the office. She used office politics to organise a HR meeting for us to know our roles and a million roles was added to mine. I just smiled as I love challenges and brought up when she screamed at me, she said she wasnt there to make friends, I told her that from where I come from I am used to people working as a team, and 'enemies' cant work as teams. The HR met with us seperately......
Then this relocation thing hasnt gone down well with me I have been ill from time to time. For the first bout of illnesses the Queen Bitch1 at first was nice but for the second bout of illnesses which happened this month 7th November where I believed I was at the door of death that she showed her through colours. I live alone and hardly have friends here and so when the illness hit i was alone, I was rolling on my bed, in tears. I couldnt tell my parents as I just left them (there was a public holiday) I told her and a male colleague at the office. The male colleague was worried. She ignored me and told the male colleague that what she says will not go down well with me....I went through all sorts of treatments at the hospital and finally had to go through an endoscopy to find out. I lost 2 kg painfully. Can you imagine I was just coming out of anaesthic when she called to rudely ask for some files. As life will have it soon after her call she started throwing up and stooling uncontrollably and had to go to the hospital. After then she called and called to pray for me.........see me see life..
Then at my home address in FCT there lives a lebanese Queen BitchII
who possibly suffers some sort of superiority complex by virtue her race or something because her very very rude and demeaning 'commandments' are just out of this world you would think she owned the place.
Well her 'dance with me' was when she complained to someone to complain to someone to tell someone to tell me that I leave my gen on all night that it affects her. (Did that like twice) I told the chain of people that Queen B's Gen is directly under my window and blows fumes into my bathroom and toilet. So she should come and relocate that generator sharply. She said through her chains of people that her gen was there all the while and besides its a silent gen. Er well I quickly told the chains of people that first of all it makes just as much as mine, second of all, AS FATE WILL HAVE IT, I live there now so she should remove it. She didnt, and luckily the electric power situation is much better here in FCT but when its not, I use my gen as and when I deem fit and she still blasts her gen fumes into my bath as well. So we were at a crossroad till the landlord came and decided to build a general generator house.. Queen Bitch II complained that the generator house was too near her window and the fumes nd the noise will disturb her. Mind you its not near her window at all, especially not in the way hers was directly under my window. Well landlord's word stays she is free to leave when her contract expires.
I still say see me see life abi how una see am?
Then my mum and settle down with man issues will be written down later in part 2
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Friday, 18 November 2011
GAGA ABOUT POPPING PILLS AT STRANGE PARTIES? READ THIS....
A new drug in market that makes sex so much easier without the worries of the past: One Saturday night a young girl was taken by 5 men, who according to hospital and police reports, gang raped her before dumping her.Unable to remember the events of the evening, tests later confirmed the repeat rapes along with traces of Rohypnol in her blood, with Progesterex, which is essentially a small sterilization pill. The drug now being used by rapists at parties to rape and sterilize their victims.Progesterex is available to vets to sterilize large animals. Rumour has it that Progesterex is being used together with Rohypnol, the date rape drug.As with Rohypnol, all they have to do is drop it into the girls drink. The girl can't remember a thing the next morning, of all that had taken place the night before.Progesterex, which dissolves in drinks just as easily, is such that the victim doesn't conceive from the rape and the rapist needn'tworry about having a paternity test identifying him months later.The drug’s effects are not temporary- They are permanent!!!Progesterex was designed to sterilize horses... Any female who takes it will never be able to conceive. They can get this drug from anyone who is in vet school or any university. It's that easy, and Progesterex is about to breakout big everywhere. Believe it or not, there are even sites on the Internet telling people how to use it.Please COPY this to everyone you know, especially girls.
So please be careful when you're out, and don't leave your drink unattended. Please make the effort to pass this onto all you know...Guys, please inform all your female friends and relatives. Girls, keep your drinks safe at all times, and men, look after the girls you're with. Parents do look after your daughter,watch what she takes..nobody can be trusted,see all the evil this drug can do!!
Tuesday, 1 November 2011
MESSAGE TO AFRICAN AMERICAN WOMEN "YOU DESERVE TO BE SINGLE!' Another advicer in chief to single women (specifically AA now ) oh and happy november xx
I saw this article back in March and almost got beheaded for my strong views on it, but hey, lets hear from you...Long read and full of ebonics (source at the end)
I saw a grown ass woman on TV praying for a man. This chick had her hands clasped together praying for a good man on some “Are You There God, it’s me Thirsty“ type shit. Everyone wants someone. But a relationship should not define your life. I have no problem with women wanting to be in love, but I have big issues with women who are obsessed with being in a relationship just for the sake of saying they’re in one. Drawing hearts, regurgitating love quotes, watching that stupid ass Notebook movie, have a Sunny D if you’re that damn thirsty. “I wish he were here” Who is he!?! Stop living in a fantasy world, no man will ever be the ideal boyfriend you picture when you’re single! You want love, that’s normal. But when you’re in love with the thought of being in love—that’s destructive.
YOU ARE ULTRA RATCHET: I have love for my ratchets, they’re down to party in the club with the tags still on their dress and regardless of how little hair they have on their head they can pull that shit into a ponytail. But their are women out there that hit level 36 on the Ratchetmon meter and evolve into the mythical Ultra Ratchet, they have no class, no manners, and they generally don’t want shit out of life. Why would any man want to be in a relationship with a woman who’s always angry, doesn’t work, doesn’t go to school, and her purpose in life is to act out like she’s 15 years old? You know the type that smokes weed around her kids, gets an attitude if you holla at her homegirl and not her, and then starts rumors about everyone who’s happily in love. I don’t care if you have Daddy issues, fuck this “product of my environment” excuse, own up to your insecurities and stop basking in your basicness. How do you expect someone to love you if you clearly don’t love yourself?
SUCKER FOR LOVE: Raise your hand if you’ve given men money, the use of your car, or sex just because he asked. Every minute a sucker is born, and it’s not just men tricking, a woman will come out of pocket fast as hell these days, and won’t even realize she’s being used. Why? Because he dropped those three small words on her. It has nothing to do with her IQ, its game. Some women fall in love with a pretty smile and long dreads and the next thing you know their credit score drops lower than Dionne Warwick’s breasts . If he’s out with his friends in your car and you’re at home updating your Facebook Status, guess who’s in love with whom?
MS. PACMAN: Girls love to be chased, and men love to chase. But what happens when you’re caught? It’s not happily ever after, in two months you’ll be flirting with the new nigga on your job. Your Coochie doesn’t tingle the same way it use to now that you’re fucking the same dude every Saturday night. Your entire swag was built around being a cock tease—now you have dick coming out of your ears. You need the flirting, the slick talk, the “should I or shouldn’t I” feeling that comes when he’s in pursuit of your pussy. I knew this girl who had a boyfriend, would always let me feel her up, but wouldn’t take it further than that because she was “faithful”. You’re letting me rub on your ass and kiss your neck while saying “stop boy, I got a man”. You think he’s cool with that!? Why the fuck do you have a dude if he can’t get you as moist as the wolfish nigga who just wants to use you as a semen deposit box?
YOU LOVE TO SHAKE YOUR ASS:
If you’re in a relationship and you would rather go to the club than sit home and watch a movie with your man— You’re not ready. Boring is not a fact, it’s an opinion. “Oh he’s so boring; he doesn’t want to do anything”. Guess what? If you’re in a real relationship, you don’t have to do shit– literally. The best thing about being handcuffed is that I don’t have to entertain anyone. It’s been times I’ve sat on the couch lost in my own thoughts, she’s sitting there doing her nails, I look up, and she’s smiling. Happy as fuck. That’s love. There is nothing wrong with going out and dancing, but if you’re in the club the same amount of times you were before you had a boyfriend, then what’s the point? If getting pinned against the wall and letting a nigga grind on your ass to the latest Chris Brown track excites you more than a quiet lunch with your dude, you deserve to be single.
YOU’RE LIVING IN THE PAST: Remember such and such who moved away to go to school, you could have married him. Remember such and such you went to prom with, you could have had his baby. Remember such and such who had a girlfriend, he was perfect. GET OVER IT! Michael Jackson is dead, yeah I miss MJ, but you don’t see me playing Billie Jean every god damn day, I got other shit to listen to. Women blow me with this inability to get over past relationships and what could have been. You carry this bullshit into a new relationship and compare everyone to Victor, the nigga who “understood you” but died. That nigga didn’t understand you. It’s your memory of that man that makes him look 7 feet tall when he was really 5”4. How can you honestly say you’re ready to be involved with someone new when you’re constantly looking over your shoulder?
POPULARITY MAKES YOU CUM: Every woman reading this has at least twenty dudes in her phone who want to fuck her, it’s what makes her break her neck every time she gets a text message. She doesn’t give a fuck if Tasha is off work; she’s worried about if one of her “friends” is hitting her up. If I were a female I would have a 100 niggas in my phone and be constantly entertained by the attention they shower on me. But if you have a boyfriend guess what, he’s not having that shit. You better not even say happy birthday to a nigga in your phonebook if you belong to me. Women don’t always understand that, “we’re just friends, what’s the big deal”. Don’t be naïve, you don’t crack a smile when a homegirl texts you, but when a homeboy texts you you’re Heath Ledger. It may be innocent to you, but their is a limit to how much of you gets shared with other men. There is a difference between flirting and fixating, and if you can’t wait to get off the phone with your so called boo so you can see what some other nigga just wrote you, you deserve to be single.
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MAKING LOVE AND FUCKING: What do you like about your boyfriend? What makes you love him? Go ahead and answer in your head… you’re lying. You don’t give a fuck about the conversations you have because his dumb ass can’t speak without using double negatives. You like the dick. Just say it.You are in a relationship because you want to fuck and fuck often. You’re not going out to art exhibits, you’re not taking in an NBA game, you are at home getting long dicked while a Golden Girl rerun plays in the background. Sex is fun, we all like it, but a relationship isn’t built on sex alone. You’re telling yourself you love this guy, but you don’t know anything about him except that his mother’s name is Janet and he likes to run his tongue from your clit down to your ass when he goes to eat it. I’m sorry if this is the first guy who ever made you cum, but that doesn’t make him the Romeo to your Juliet. A relationship built on nut busting is thinner than Naomi Campbell’s edges. You’re not in a relationship, you’re in a gonzo. Try holding the coochie back a week and see how many times you argue, suddenly you realize that this dude isn’t compatible. If all you want is sex why complicate it? That’s right, you don’t want your friends to judge you so you have to hide your freakiness under some flimsy relationship.
YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT: Why do you want a boyfriend? Because your ex moved on? Because your bestie wants to double date? Because it’s raining and your feet are cold and you could use a man to snuggle? You’re being an ass. Do you know what you have? Freedom! You can go anywhere you want to. You can talk to anyone you want to? You can flirt, you can fuck, you make him eat you out in the backseat of the car and you don’t have to answer to anyone! Being single is great! Who gives a fuck about being bored? Netflix is streaming hoe! Do you really want some dirty nigga snoring in your ear at night, farting on top of you? The arguments over nothing, the ex-girlfriend drama, competing with the Xbox, wondering if he likes you or if he likes the way you ride dick? Before you jumped in a relationship did you ask yourself—What do I really want? You have a million things you want to do with your life, but as soon as the first nigga with tats and a driver’s license hollas at you, your list dwindles down to one. It’s no longer about what you want to do with your life; it’s about what he’s doing… Where he’s at… Why he isn’t calling you… Now you hate men, you hate being in a relationship blah blah fucking blah. You found the lamp, the Genie popped out, you wished that you could see yourself happy. He gives you a picture of yourself in Kindergarten. Now you’re pissed because that wish was a waste. Men are Genies. You can’t be mad at the man for giving you a shitty relationship, you’re the one that asked for it without taking the time to think about what it really meant. What’s worse than being single? Being in a fucked up relationship. Appreciate what you have and stop wishing for something you’re not ready for.
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