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Monday 27 September 2010

Just wondering what place in the world where could you get attacked, kidnapped, killed just because you're not black?

very interesting account from a foreigner visiting Nigeria(Taken from a facebook group. I dont know how real the author of this write-up is, but I just copied it, and pasted it on here, exactly as I saw it)

I'm a white guy and having travelled in over 100 countries and 25 countries in Africa, I think it's Nigeria! Sure in French Africa, the police will want a bribe if you're english speaking and for sure if you're white. And boy will they be wicked!! But the local people there are nice and will want to be friends with you. In South Africa, they've got huge tensions for sure. But at least most people are trying to be a rainbow nation. And in provincial Western Europe and Eastern Europe, it's bad for black people. There'll be some idiots there who want trouble but most people would look away and in England most would stop it. Australia's bad definitely but a lot of people no longer believe in white Australia and even if they'd laugh, they wouldn't let anyone get hurt.

But in Nigeria, it was unbelievable!!! I've been attacked several times on my travels but only in Nigeria did I experience being attacked whilst a street full of onlookers who all laughed. In Nigeria, it's funny for a white to be attacked. If he's bleeding, it's better. Why was I in their country anyway. After all, there's only 2 million Nigerians in the 'country' where I was born. Nigerians are far too backward to get along with other tribal Nigerians so a white is just an animal to them. Every Nigerian I met wanted something out of me. If I ask for my change in a bar, they shake their heads, close their eyes and sometimes scream in anger. What a stupid white! When they see me with my Nigerian girlfriend, they shout out loud and tell her in to eat all my money. Yeah! Ha ha! If I'm friends with a Nigerian and at the end I haven't given them anything, they get angry and make threats. Sometimes, they'll see you somewhere and just look at you and shake their heads in disgust. You're white, what are you doing in my country? Sometimes, they kidnap you if you're a foreigner. When I visited my girlfriend's family home, someone outside said: what the mess are you doing in my country? Most Nigerians utterly hate whites. And they think there's good reason to! They're white and were born on white land. Nigeria's the most racist place in the world in my opinion. It's pure happy, smiling racism. How can Nigerians talk about racism?

My thoughts: First and foremost, the shameful act of kidnapping for a ransome is very true, this is why if you are a foreigner residing/working in some high risk areas, you are given security details. I think this has been extended to citizens but am not entirely sure.
That said, in some cases, I think he is being treated like any average, 'comfortable' Nigerian who finds themselves in the wrong hood.
*Every Nigerian I met wanted something out of me* Check
*If I ask for my change in a bar, they shake their heads, close their eyes* Check
*When they see me with my Nigerian girlfriend, they shout out loud and tell her in to eat all my money* Check

If one is a well dressed, well spoken person, who took a wrong turning to the more deprived areas, this is what will happen to them,regardless of race, so its not racism per se, maybe reverse classism, deprivation?? Fact is there is a huge gap between the rich and the poor and the leadership has been shown to be very corrupt that if a comfortable person shows up in those areas, flambouyantly dressed, their youths will want some form of compensation.

Shameful really, but every country has its own dodgy areas

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Friday 24 September 2010

So BB11 is over with Josie winning and UBB over with Brian winning..but someone wants to kill self???

And so it was that Ultimate Big Brother 2010 was the last big brother series by channel 4 UK and did pull in a lot of viewers..over 3m actually.

It also managed to pack in the usual trends of manufactured romance, narcissm, overbloated egos, bitchiness, and the threat of a suicide by one the housemates, Nadia.

I dont know much about Nadia as I didnt watch BB5 where she was declared the winner

But in UBB house, her personality was interesting. The first thing she did was to give her thoughts on Josie and John James relationship..bad move...Plus she looked bad in UBB. She had arguments with Ulrika and Coolio and went over the top in her reactions.

Her eviction was met with derisive boos which certainly affected her so much that she was in tears through out her eviction interview. Since then she has been quoted in several articles saying she wanted to end her life (suicide)..huh?

Makosi also had a terrible reaction from the crowd during her eviction. But she seemed capable of handling it. Again I am not sure what she did to deserve that reaction as I didnt watch BB6.

I saw an explanation online that everyone seemed to agree was the archilles heels on both contestants.

I am not that knowledgeable about any of them and as you can tell Big Brother is not one of my hot topics..However suicide, even a threat of suicide, is a topic that interests me...
I digress, here is the length analysis...At the least it makes an interesting read

Join Date: Jul 2009

Article title: Why eviction boos were good for Makosi and Nadia, their fans, the booers and viewers
There have been a lot of complaints on this forum about the booing of Makosi and Nadia on eviction night. I propose to demonstrate that not only was it justified but it was a good thing for the recipients of the boos and their fans, as well as the booers and the viewers.

I believe many of Makosi’s and Nadia’s more thoughtful fans, some of whom are so entranced that they offer their love to their idols, may accept the logic of the argument I propose and I ask them, before they engage their knees in a jerk reaction in response to my proposition, to consider something: do they want their idols to become better people, more accepted by BB viewers and perhaps even liked, and to find life a bit more pleasant? I think fans of the pair would accept to a larger or lesser degree that their idols have a raft of character defects which are obstacles to them achieving these things.

One major set of character defects the pair share is almost beyond dispute: they have a highly inflated view of their self-importance, and they believe their wishes, concerns and feelings are primary and those of other people are not just secondary but almost irrelevant. I would go further and suggest that they believe the role of others is to adore, idolise and endorse them; the pair are ego maniacs. They are confused by the workings of the real world and its lack of reverence for them. They are takers and expect the world and life to be givers, and when life fails to deliver the goods they expect, they are indignant. I also suggest that their goals in life are pretty contemptible. Makosi’s goal is simply to get what she wants, these wants include self-promotion, status and material things, and she is prepared to use almost any stratagem to achieve them, whereas Nadia’s less ambitious goals are adoration and validation which she thinks can be achieved by simply making demands on the public and those around her. I present evidence and a more detailed analysis of their character defects at the bottom of this post. So how could they recognise and resolve these defects?

Their inflated egos have huge inertia against change and self-improvement and are not likely to voluntarily engage in introspection. The size of the problem was illustrated by Nadia’s comment in an interview in the Daily Star ( yes I know, but the quote and the interview seem genuine ) after she was evicted and referring to her BB5 experience that she “was the nation’s sweetheart and people embraced me.” So, the forces that need to be brought to bear on these egos and delusions need to be powerful, and the most powerful, effective and time-efficient force to apply is a vigorous and compelling massed rebuttal of their view of the world, and a booing crowd is the ideal delivery method.

Some might regard a booing crowd as too harsh and that Nadia’s reaction was indicative that the medicine was too strong or not efficacious, or that there is no urgency for action as time and life will deliver a more gentle and effective remedy. Well I would counter that life may never deliver the strong medicine required and for some of the older housemates the sooner the medicine is delivered the better, before it is too late.

I don’t think that people should be too concerned about the potential distressful process that might be caused by the booing. The phases of reaction that people offer when faced with criticism and demands for change are similar to the well document phases of grief that include denial, anger, depression, and finally acceptance, and so some levels of distress are going to accompany a positive developmental process. This pair resist criticism and vilification with denial using every ounce of their being, and for a truckload of reality to successfully intrude into their consciousness requires considerable emotional force. Many reality shows provide vast mines of evidence that these sorts of forces provide a long term gain for the recipients, even if there is some short term pain. Wife Swap provides numerous examples, in the more problematic cases with the more egotistical participants, before the sunny uplands are reached, there is inevitable denial, conflict and anger.

With Makosi the booing medicine may not have been strong enough or take some time to have an effect, when Davina asked her if she had any idea why she was being booed she replied that she had no idea except for possibly her conflict with John McCririck, obviously her initial response was to be unaffected or non-comprehending.

In Nadia’s case some introspection process was beginning in the interview as she realised the scale of the massed disapproval before her and the conflict this presented with her perception of being “loved” by the public. Alas I suspect that much of the introspection revolves around the aging process, as discussed in my character analysis below although the Daily Star quote above continues “… But now I’m the villain” so perhaps some self-awareness process has begun or, more likely, she feels she has been unjustly portrayed as a villain.

One can argue that a crowd has no right to exert a vigorous moral judgement and that the effect on evictees can be crushing, but I would counter that the crowd seems to deliver medicine that is commensurate with the immoral or hypocritical behaviour committed. The boos for Makosi and Nadia were mild for most of the eviction interviews, they only became vigorous and delivered en-masse on justifiable occasions such as Makosi’s denial that she enjoyed the male attention when showering. The crowd was fully justified to vilify such a clearly disingenuous or deluded denial and to treat the stronger character of Makosi more harshly. The crowd modulates the strength of its message appropriately.

The evictee crowd can of course unjustifiably heap opprobrium, but during the eviction interviews they have, far more often than not, accurately reflected a morally justifiable position. The critics of booing are usually the deluded and adoring followers of the victims, they are blinded by their adoration to see objective faults in their idols and they take personal offence because they not only support their idol but see some of themselves in them and suffer on their behalf as they empathise. I would much rather we have a crowd that delivers moral judgements and opprobrium that are generally justified rather than sit back passively and allow heinous hypocrisy and immoral actions go without comment and by their passive behaviour collude in allowing reprehensible housemates believe that they are not reprehensible or that their fantasy world is the real world .

So everyone is a winner with a thoughtful booing crowd, the victims are jolted into re-evaluating themselves and hopefully will become better people which will be to their benefit and the people with whom they have contact, the fans along with the victims will suffer some short term pain but benefit from the longer term gain of their idols, the crowd feel they have delivered a message that reflects the moral judgement of society, and the viewers are relieved that the crowd has voiced their feelings. Booooooooooooooo!!


Makosi’s character defects: evidence and analysis

Makosi’s inflated sense of self-worth and her disdain for others is transparently obvious in all of her verbal exchanges. Almost all of her conversations revolve around herself, her wishes, her needs and desires, her body, her feelings, and her perspective and attempting to impose her perspective on others. She really believes she has the status of a princess, calling herself the Black Diana in a Metro interview, when in fact she admitted in one article she is little more than a prostitute.

Shortly after coming into the house Makosi complained to BB that she was not receiving sufficient attention from BB, she felt Nikki was taking up all the attention, and so she protested by refusing to wear her microphone, no other housemate cared about Nikki’s turn in the spotlight. Could one imagine any other housemate complaining of a similar lack of attention? Only Nadia could have behaved in a similar manner.

When Makosi was stung by a wasp she feigned a limp, feigned a near-fainting manner in the diary room and appeared to struggle to vocalise her request to BB for a doctor, a melodramatic performance that was so ridiculous that Michelle, her sidekick, was compelled to laugh at her. The whole performance was a shamelessly executed and successful attempt to gain attention from the BB story editors.

Makosi’s most notorious and shameless deceitful grab for attention was her request for a pregnancy test in BB7 in the diary room following her Jacuzzi experience with Anthony, yet she recently admitted in an interview that she knew AT THE TIME she couldn’t have been pregnant “a few seconds” after what she believed was sex with Anthony. So why did she advertise the incident to BB by asking for a test she knew was pointless? Well she was simply prepared to humiliate herself to any degree to be the focus of the BB story editors and get her story broadcast. Interestingly, she adopted the same fake, limp and distressed demeanour in UBB when requesting attention for her sting as she did in BB7 when requesting the pregnancy test; she clearly has not changed her fake distressed performance in the intervening years.

She is a compulsive liar, and she seems to revel in deceiving others and sowing confusion and misinformation. She clearly finds the activity entertaining and as she has no regard for others, the effect on them is immaterial.

In the garden she declared that there had been some new moral innovation in the Christian world: morals were no longer fixed and objective but flexible and subjective. Moral frameworks could be defined by each individual and so you could define what was right and wrong. She declared delight at this innovation and one could see why, she feels she is her own God in her world, and must have been frustrated by the long standing intrusion of another God’s moral framework and constraints into it.

There are so many character defects apparent from the evidence above one doesn’t know quite where to begin to summarise them. She is clearly utterly unprincipled, she will do and say almost anything for personal advantage and publicity, telling the truth is not a factor, and she regards others with complete contempt. Only what she wants matters and she wants it now and most of all, she wants the status that will get her whatever she wants.

The sort of disdain with which she regards others and the importance with which she regards herself combined with her willingness to seize any opportunity for self-advancement is not a harmless combination. I suspect she is more than willing to see other people suffer for her benefit. Perhaps if she had been the princess she desperately wants to be but in an 18th century African tribe, she would have been one of those willing cogs in the slave trade and ship out her neighbours for personal advantage.

Nadia’s character defects: evidence and analysis

As with Makosi, all of her small interactions with other people consistently highlight her deeply flawed character and as with Makosi almost everything she says revolves her needs, specifically her insatiable need for attention, adoration and validation. As her quote in the Daily Star showed, she believed she was “loved” and “embraced” by others. She resembles Sunset Boulevard’s Norma Desmond who believed she was loved and had a huge fan base and survived emotionally on that delusion, and instead of being nourished by fake fan letters like Norma Desmond, Nadia is presumably is nourished by the BB7 DVD of her winning night and the chorus of cheers within. Like Norma Desmond she is liable to descend into a retreat with just her delusions unless reality intrudes, and her eviction night boos might just save her.

Unlike Makosi, Nadia does not seem to lie simply for her own entertainment, but she is prepared to be disingenuous if she feels it might deliver increased support and a bigger fanbase. Her two-faced complimenting of Makosi’s appearance on her entrance, which was preceded by a minor bitch of the same thing, was a wonderfully illustrative example. She is basically a bitch and her spiteful comments about Brian were further confirmation. Is this really the sort of person that deserves anyone’s support?

Her selfishness is extraordinary. She contributes next to nothing to a group of which she is a part. She is more than happy to be served and doted upon by others and following plategate she complained through sobs that she was not asked how she was feeling, yet when has she ever volunteered to comfort others or been remotely concerned about them? The mismatch between her perceived entitlements and the denial of similar entitlements to others is extraordinary. When she had a supportive and adoring cohort in BB7 she got all the supportive concern she could possibly want, but sycophants were absent in UBB, instead there was Makosi.

Plategate was a marvellous illustration of her contemptible self-centred view of the world. Her basic complaint that a broken plate should have been tidied away during the cooking process was utterly wrong. Not only was the plate not posing a threat to anyone, but it had broken because it had been subjected to severe heat from the hob and therefore was not only difficult to dispose of, but disposing of it in a hot state, in say a plastic bin full of other plastic material, would have been a very silly idea, even if, as Nadia suggested, that one could pick it up with something other than bare fingers. Her reprimand to Ulrika over the plate not only implied that Ulrika was slovenly, but also utterly lacked any appreciation of the work Ulrika had done in preparing the meal or the busy, attention-demanding nature of cooking for so many people. Ulrika appeared to intend to deal with the plate when the opportunity arose. Most infuriating was that Nadia felt she had the moral authority to complain about the quality of the effort of Ulrika when she had contributed nothing, she is without a conscience. Most normal people would have bitten their tongue in her position if they felt some minor wrongdoing had been committed in the midst of a major meal preparation.

The vehemence with which the Nadia delivered the reprimand in plategate, touched on other key Nadia defects: her aggressive, abusive and intolerant nature. Her behaviour on fight night in BB5 was also illustrative, where she punched and slapped other hms and was one of the main verbal aggressors. Her behaviour in BB Come Dine with Me, where the pressures on her must have been considerably less than they were in BB and UBB, illustrated yet again her ill-mannered, abusive nature and lack of tolerance. Her foul-mouthed and unjustified attack on Brian and others was just revolting.

She seems to be devoid of basic manners and basic human charm, and is one of the most unappealing characters in BB history, yet she won BB5. Her appalling behaviour and character were seemingly endorsed by the BB viewers, why? Leaving aside that she was competing in the final two with Jason, possibly the most anti-social of all BB housemates, there are a number of reasons for her winning BB5 and these same reasons account for her early departure from UBB. I believe her support was derived from a number of contingents of the BB voting demographic. Firstly there was a contingent of self-obsessed, clothes-obsessed youngish women who could relate to her similar outlook on life, secondly there were those of a generous spirit who took sympathy on her gender struggles and her “journey” in life and BB, and thirdly there was a playful contingent who enjoyed the deception being played on the other housemates, and no doubt there were other smaller contingents. All three of the numbered contingents abandoned her in UBB for various reasons. The first contingent have matured with age and are less sympathetic to her character failings and presumably no longer suffer the same clothes obsession and are less self-obsessed, and so could no longer relate to her. This first contingent was not going to be replaced by another younger batch of supporters in UBB with the same values because she is that much older and uglier and therefore that much further removed from them. The second contingent felt the journey was over and so their interest was elsewhere, and the third contingent wanted to support some new mischief in the house. If Nadia had realised the origins of her support in BB5, she would have realised her downfall in UBB was inevitable and predictable. She is the SAME person inside that won BB5 but her supporters then were either blind to her defects or were prepared to excuse them because of other factors.

Nadia’s sense of entitlement to winning UBB was evident for all to see and unappealing even to much of her remaining fanbase. The scale of her belief in her own winning destiny was evident in her traumatised expression when she was told she was evicted, the incontrovertible and powerful rebuttal of her world view was an emotional earthquake. Her distress at being evicted was all the greater because of her sense of entitlement to the UBB crown. In the interview Davina when asked why she thought she had been evicted and she offered that she “was now an old grumpy woman”. She was partially right, but I suspect she sees the issue in terms of being uglier and fatter rather than her real character failings which were under greater scrutiny.

Written by Flashheart << >>

Flasheart seems to be sure this is the case, but if you know better, do share. :)


Monday 20 September 2010

James guide on how to be a successful villain! mwahahaha

If i ever become an evil overlord:

1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear Plexiglas visors, not face-concealing ones.

2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

3. My noble half-brother, whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

5. The artefact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object that is my one weakness.

6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."

7.1 When the rebel leader challenges me to fight one-on-one and asks, "Or are you afraid without your armies to back you up?" My reply will be, "No, just sensible."

7.2 I will design all doomsday machines myself. If I must hire a mad scientist to assist me, I will make sure that he is sufficiently twisted to never regret his evil ways and seek to undo the damage he's caused.

7.3 I will make it clear that I do know the meaning of the word "mercy"; I simply choose not show them any.

8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.

10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.

11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.

12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.

14. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.

15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.

16. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."

17. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.

18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.

19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.

20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.

21. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi storm troopers, Roman foot soldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.

22. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.

23. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.

24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)

25. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery, which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.

26. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.

27. I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.

28. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.

29. I will dress in bright and cheery colours, and so throw my enemies into confusion.

30. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be pre-emptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.

31. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.

32. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.

33. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.

34. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.

35. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.

36. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cellblock, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.

37. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.

38. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harbouring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.

39. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.

40. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable super weapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.

41. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.

42. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.

43. I will maintain a healthy amount of scepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.

44. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.

45. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.

46. If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor.

47. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.

48. I will treat any beast that I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.

49. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artefact that can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want Ad in the local paper.

50. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh PowerBooks.

51. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.

52. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.

53. If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her.

54. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.

55. The deformed mutants and oddball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.

56. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.

57. Before employing any captured artefacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.

58. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.

59. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.

60. My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.

61. If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.

62. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports, which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.

63. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible
tunnels at predictable intervals.

64. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits that could prove to be a disadvantage.

65. If I must have computer systems with publicly available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.
66. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.

67. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.

68. I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.

69. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.

70. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.

71. If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.

72. If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable super weapon on them.

73. I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win.

74. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.

75. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.

76. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)

77. If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutenant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.

78. I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."

79. If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.

80. If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.

81. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.

82. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.

83. If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.

84. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.

85. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."

86. I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.

87. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.

88. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.

89. After I captures the hero's super weapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.

90. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.

91. I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.

92. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say that his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)

93. If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.

94. When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.

95. My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency; the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.

96. My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.

97. My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.

98. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.

99. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.

100. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.

I think he got it all covered, James Famo for

Thursday 16 September 2010

Yes, I am her dad, so young man, you want to date my daughter? fill in this application...

I found this very hilarious joke online. Please enjoy. Just for laughs please, cant handle any court cases :))

Yes, I am her dad, so young man, you want to date my daughter? fill in this application...

Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your physician

Do you have one male and one female parent? ____
If "No", explain:

Number of years your parents have been married: ____
Any brothers or sisters? ____
Are they normal? ____

Do you own or have access to a van? ____
A truck with oversize tires? ____
A waterbed? ____

Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring? ____

Do you have a tattoo? ____

If you have answered YES to #3, #4 or #5, discontinue application and leave immediately.

In fifty words or less, what does Late mean to you?

In fifty words or less, what does Don't touch my daughter mean to you?

In fifty words or less, what does Abstinence mean to you?

In fifty words or less, what does Real Pain mean to you?

Church/Temple you attend: ____________________________

How often do you attend: ____________________________

When would be the best time to interview your mother, father and priest/rabbi? ____________________________

Please fill in the blanks:

If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded would be my ____________________________

If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would be my ____________________________

A woman's place is in the ____________________________

The one thing I hope this application doesn't ask is ____________________________

When I meet a girl, the one thing I always notice about her first is ____________________________

Note: If answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue and leave premises - keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised

What do you want to be if you grow up?

I swear that all the above information is correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, bodily harm, dismemberment, torture or mental abuse.
Signature of applicant _________________________________

Signature of father _____________________________________

Signature of mother ____________________________________

Signature of priest/rabbi ___________________________________

Signature of State Representative _________________________

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow 4-6 years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if approved. If denied, please never apply again. Don't call me, I'll call you

Her Dad

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Monday 13 September 2010

An ode to perfect beauty of mathematics: Ignore the (cheesy bits)

My love for mathematics started really late in life, after my 'O' levels and just before my A levels actually. This was because I had a lesson teacher who loved and understood mathematics. Late because my first degree had nothing much to do with maths but I enjoyed the lessons, the challenge and all the homework.
To me, mathematics just felt like a puzzle, and it was fun to see how far the puzzle can be stretched too. I was to discover my love of mathematics just after university when I had to take aptitude test. This kind of maths love was different as it was done under pressure and had atime limit. Still I enjoyed working it out, it took me away from the reality of being in a hall squashed full of desperate applicants, and into a fantasy world of numbers and where they could lead me too.Needless to say I have always passed all of that bit of my aptitude test..those were the days of fun and adventure.

I digress..

I found this ode to mathematics, and enjoyed it thoroughly, I hope you enjoy it.

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

Brilliant, isn't it?

And look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111=12345678987654321

Now, take a look at this....


From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:

What Equals 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been in situations where someone wants you to

How about ACHIEVING 101%?

What equals 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help
answer these questions:



Is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.


H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%



11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%



1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:


12+15+22+5+15+6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:

While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will
get you there, It's the Love of God that will put you over the top!

It's up to you to share this with your friends & loved ones just
the way I did.

Have a nice day & God bless !!


Saturday 11 September 2010


Published in the May 13, 1955 issue of Housekeeping Monthly.

* * Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

* * Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

* * Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

* * Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

* * Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. and then run a dust cloth over the tables.

* * Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

* * Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

* * Be happy to see him.

* * Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

* * Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

* * Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

* * Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order, and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

* * Don't greet him with complaints or problems.

* * Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

* * Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

* * Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

* * Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

* * A good wife always knows her place.
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Tuesday 7 September 2010

Dedicated to the indifferent Christian (2) (&those who silence people by invoking the 'touch not the annointed' verse)

The Great Slander: Using God's Name to Perpetrate Injustice
by Seun Kolade on Thursday, August 5, 2010 at 9:24pm

Historical perspectives
In one of the most significant tales of imperialist adventures, the account is given of the first encounter between Inca Emperor Athuallpa and Spanish General Francisco Pizzaro, on 15th November 1532. Pizzaro, we are told, represented the Holy Roman Emperor Charles V, otherwise known as King Charles 1 of Spain. The entire army of the Indians, numbering more than 80,000, were exterminated by the rampaging Spanish. This slaughter, as striking as it is, is not very extraordinary as there have been similar account at different times and places in human history. But what is of immediate interest to us here are the words of the Spanish General Pizzaro to the Inca emperor: “I am a priest of God, and I teach Christians the things of God, and in like manner I come to teach you”. The General required “Athuallpa in the name of GOD and of the King of Spain that Athuallpa subject himself to the law of our Lord Jesus Christ and to the service of His Majesty the King of Spain”. This apparently missionary endeavour- or what is made to appear to be- would result in the killing of hundreds of thousands of the native Indians, and several millions more who perished to diseases and forced labour.

Now, it is not our purpose merely to re-open the ‘old wound’ of expansionist atrocities, because, as we have pointed out, similar atrocities, in various scales, have been committed by native peoples on one another and surrounding neighbours. We are more interested, specifically, on how, and why, the name of God was brought in, and with such bravado, to justify the atrocities that were then committed.

And there are several more examples, in different contexts, of how God was invoked in the course of history to justify wanton self-interest of the claimers. The Bourbon Kings of France, for example, claimed to rule by ‘Divine Rights’ and kept their subjects under the iron fist for several hundred years. The same apply for the emperors (Tsars) of Russia, where we are told that at one point the propertyless and penniless serfs constitute about 70% of the Russian state.

Fast-forward to the 19th century America. The southern Baptists broke away from their Northern Baptist brethren, mainly because the latter would not agree to the continued practice of keeping slaves. Even after the civil war and the emancipation that followed, for several decades after it in fact, racial segregation and discrimination persisted in the southern states, and the churches were either indifferent to it, or actively supportive of segregation and discrimination. For example, a fugitive slave, by the name of William Brown, testified that “Slaveholders hide themselves behind the church. A more praying, preaching, psalm-singing people cannot be found than the slaveholders at the south. The religion of the south is referred to every day, to prove that slaveholders are good, pious men”.

We would not confine ourselves to historical examples, however. There are contemporary examples in modern times where so-called Christian churches- impostors as we’ll determine- are involved in grave atrocities and acts of injustice to fellow believers. This warrants our utmost attention surely. Indeed, as I write this, a TV documentary was just aired in which certain African churches were involved in acts of torture and sexual abuse of children and youngsters, with a great deal of financial exploitation. The leaders- and some parents- are the main culprit, and all their acts they carried out with deviant claim of working for God!

From the foregoing, the question we’ll like to consider, in the light of the scriptures are: why is it so attractive, irresistible in fact, to invoke God’s name in the pursuit of blatant injustice? Is the strategy and the claims, from the standpoint of the Bible, right or excusable under any circumstance?

It’s a lie!
Let’s quickly turn our attention to one interesting story in the Bible. Sennacherib King of Assyria, known for his ruthless military tactics and expansionist ambitions, was laying siege to Jerusalem, and sent his officials ahead of him to taunt the inhabitants of the city to surrender. He declared, among other things, that God was unable to save the people of Jerusalem from him, and the other nations- quite a list- have tried resisting to no avail.

Now, this is classic military tactic- intimidating your opponent to submission. But there was one particular declaration that was peculiarly striking: “Have I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The Lord said unto me, go up against this land to destroy it” (2Kings 18:25). Here was a tyrant, in one breadth denouncing God as incapable of saving his intended victims, and in the same breadth laying claim to the support of God who had apparently instructed him to destroy. Of course, the story of how he fell under God’s judgement is instructive, but the highlight here is to underscore the point that the idea of oppressors and tyrants laying claim to divine approval is as old as human history, and just some careful thought will show that the claim of tyrants is always oriented in outright falsehood.

First, we know that God’s just character is evident, and his instruction very clear that “he who rule among men must be just, ruling in the fear of God” (2. Sam 23:3), and the prophet Amos, for example, told us of how God was aware of the “manifold transgressions and... mighty sins” of those who “oppress the righteous and take bribes”, and “deprive the poor of justice” (Amos 5:12-13). In spite of all these, they still come to worship and sing and offer sacrifices, but God’s rejection cannot be more damning : “I hate, I despise your religious feasts; I cannot stand your assemblies. Even though you bring me burnt offerings and grain offerings, I will not accept them. Though you bring choice fellowship offerings, I will have no regard for them. Away with the noise of your songs! I will not listen to the music of your harps” (Amos 5: 21-23).

This brings us to a more modern and more immediate problem of the exploitation and distortion that goes round in many churches, often carried out by people who are suppose to lead others to truth that should “set them free” and get them rooted and fruitful in spiritual maturity and earthly undertaking. The problem all boils down, as we shall see, to the fundamental issue of justice and fairness.

Of Pastors and Impostors
As mentioned in the foregoing, just few days before the writing of this article, there was a TV documentary, here in the UK, in which it was revealed that, among other things, one church pastor told one of her church members, a young girl of about 16, that God has told him to have sexual relations with her, in order to cure her of witchcraft! Yes, right here and now in the 21st century. In other related cases, pastors and leaders deprived members of money to the tune of several thousands, using threats of satanic attacks and sundry promises of spiritual protection. These are not exaggerated, infact they are not isolated cases, but we should hasten to add that there are many more pastors and leaders, honest and dedicated, who are teaching the truth, and making significant positive contributions to societal progress. It is infact also in the interest of the latter, and moreover of the integrity of the Christian Gospel, that it is important for us to turn the search light on these hordes of impostors and fraudsters.

And we begin with emphasising the fact that the advent of spiritual impostors and fraudsters is not at all a modern phenomenon. There are so many warnings in the Bible that it is safe to conclude that those who fall victim are victims of their own ignorance primarily, having failed to study their Bible to know how to discern the truth from error. In 2 Corinthians Chapter 11, the Apostle Paul warned about self styled “Super Apostles” who extort and lead the people astray with their high-sounding errors. Such men, he said “are false apostles, deceitful workmen, masquerading as apostles of Christ. And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. It is not surprising, then, if his servants masquerade as servants of righteousness. Their end will be what their actions deserve”. (2 Cor 11: 13-15).

The entire Bible is filled with similar warnings and instructions about impostors and false prophets who take advantage and lead the people astray, to satisfy their own ego and self-interest. In Jeremiah 23:1, we read “ woe unto the pastors that destroy and scatter the sheep of my pasture!”, and in Ezekiel 34: 2-3, the woe is even more specific: “Woe to the shepherds... who feed themselves! Should not the shepherds feed the flocks? You eat the fat and clothe yourselves with the wool; you slaughter the fatlings, but you do not feed the flock”

Thus we know the Bible is clear on matters relating to justice and fairness, and has warned sufficiently against those impostors who would use God’s name to perpetrate and perpetuate oppression and injustice. It only remain for us to make one final observation in the current discourse: that God is as concerned about those who overtly use his name for their selfish ends as he is about those who keep silent in the face of injustice, or secretly collaborate with, or provide spiritual comfort for, oppressors.

We shall examine this further in our subsequent enquiry, but it suffice to say, using the metaphor of the shepherd, that the one who positively refuse to care for the sheep is as guilty as one who stands silently aside while wolves help themselves with the sheep, or indeed, one who gives direction and prayer and blessings to wolves whose sole purpose is to oppress and take advantage of defenceless sheep.

Further reading:
The Bible on Social Justice: Amos Chapter 5, Micah Chapter 6, Luke 4:18-21; Matthew 23. New King James Version, New International Version, New Living Translation and The Message Translation Recommended.

Imperialism and Slavery: See Jared Diamond's Guns Germs and Steel. Also see for accounts of slavery and religion in America

Dedicated to the indifferent Christian (1)

This note was written by a scholar and a Christian. I found it challenging especially in times like this where Nigerian special brand of Christianity is either brainwashing people to robots (spouting what a religious leader said as opposed to coming to terms with the corruption that leader has indulged in) , becoming indifferent, or disassociating themselves from the Christianity.

It is a long but enlightening piece aimed at stimulating the reader's intellect and aid an internal audit of ones Christian walk..hope you enjoy it as much as I did.....


Is it nothing to you? Indifference is guilt in God’s court of justice
by Seun Kolade

We have established that God cannot be the patron of godlessness; the God of Justice cannot be the defender of the oppressor; the God of truth will not provide cover and comfort for liars; the Holy God cannot accommodate iniquity and inequity within himself. What about human beings? Is it possible for a person to serve both God and Mammon? Can he oppress in the day and offer worthy thanks in the evening? Can she, in the words of the Prophet Elijah, successfully “falter between two opinions”?

Let us begin by first eliminating one obvious scenario, that it is impossible, as we have seen, for a true Christian to actively collaborate or participate in acts of oppression and injustice. It is against the very essence of his calling; it is against the fundamental nature of God who has called her. But is it alright for him to watch by quietly, or lock himself away from the heat of the battle?

Quiet bystanders
One of the favourite past times of people, now as in ancient time, is to sit by and watch. It could be the small screen at home, or the big screen at the Cinema. From the highways to the busy street all the way to the large sport stadia, we just love to watch. And whenever trouble come, we instinctively run for cover. No, we don’t want to be involved. But make no mistake, when injustice and oppression pervades the land and there is something, however little, that we can do, God considers us guilty, “for him who knows what is right to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin” (James 4:17). In Obadiah verse 10- 13 God strongly condemned a whole nation for “violence” against a brother nation on the day oppressors invaded and ransacked them. But the condemned in the passage were not invaders so what was the ‘violence’? “On that day you stood there and didn't do anything. Strangers took your brother's army into exile... You stood there and watched. You were as bad as they were”. (Obadiah Vs 10-13, The Message Translation). There you have it. Silence can be violent, which is why we are explicitly instructed to “cry aloud, spare not, lift up your voice like a trumpet, and show my people their transgression”.

The option of silence, of neutrality, is not acceptable in the matter of justice and fairness. We are either for it, or against it. We may differ in our levels of strength and resources, but God at least expect us to make the little effort we can, to “Seek justice, rebuke the oppressor; defend the fatherless, plead for the widow” (Isaiah 1:17). Now talking about the little we can do, can we not pray? Of course we can, and we should. Alright. Is prayer all that God requires? Does prayer exonerate or exempt us from other responsibilities as far as justice and fairness is concerned?

Pray and just pray?
It will be a big error for us to under-estimate or undervalue the efficacy of prayer. There are, infact, numerous examples in the Bible of great things accomplished by means of prayer. We are told, in very clear terms, that the “prayer of a righteous man avails much” (James 5:16). In response to prayer, the waters of the red sea were parted, the walls of Jericho came down crashing, Peter was miraculously saved from prison, and the widow’s son was raised. And this are just few examples affirming the efficacy of prayer. But let us return to the passage above, where it refers specifically to the prayer of “the righteous”. Now, to be sure, this is not talking of self-righteousness, but it certainly implies right living and right doing of one who has received God’s own righteousness. To buttress this, we are told in no uncertain terms that “the sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to the Lord, but the prayer of the upright is his delight” (Proverbs 15:8).

Who, then, is the upright? We have already established he is one whose righteousness is first from God, the ultimate source and fountain of all that is Good. The upright man, then, is also he who manifests in his daily life the character of God- of love, truth and justice. Conversely, the wicked is he who, by wilful acts of omission or commission, does not manifest godly conduct. For him, this latter man, prayer is not only ineffectual but positively abominable, and we have been told of one telling incidence in which two men incurred God’s wrath because they are wicked, and their sacrificial prayer was deemed ‘strange’ and unacceptable (Leviticus 10:1-2).

The bottom line is that God is incensed, rather than impressed, by hypocritical prayer of people who practise or support oppression by active collaboration or silent acquiescence. Prayer can not substitute for right-doing, and this right-doing necessarily include speaking and acting against oppression and injustice. But, if a choice were to be made, we are told that “obedience”, right-doing, is “better than sacrifice”. Indeed, to affirm this message with greater clarity, God said “When you spread out your hands in prayer, I will hide my eyes from you; even if you offer many prayers, I will not listen. Your hands are full of blood” (Isaiah 1:15) and Christ declared “woe” on religious hypocrites “for you devour widows’ houses, and for a pretence make long prayer; therefore you shall receive the greater condemnation” (Matthew 23:14).

There is one more obstacle for us to tackle. By now we understand the matters of justice and fairness is at the heart of right-living, and should go along, rather than be replaced by, prayer, but what should be done when these are muddled with partisan politics? Is it best, or at least acceptable under such circumstance, to keep aloof and neutral?

Is Justice Politics?
First, it is important for us to affirm that the believer is well within his right to participate in partisan politics, much as he is right no to get involved. In essence, involvement is always an option, never a necessity. But a defence, and practice, of justice and fairness, is a necessity, not an option. Sometimes, justice is related to political issues, most times it is not, but even when it is related to politics, it is yet distinct from it. In this latter case it is the Christian’s responsibility, and very much a possibility, to separate one from the other, knowing fully well that necessity is always on him to stand and act for justice and fairness.

Let us examine purely civic matters that are often confused with partisan politics. If a citizen, or group of them, are unjustly mal-handled by law enforcement authorities, especially (but not only) when such injustice is glaring, like a case of prejudicial killing or injury. In this case, and others like it, it is the Christian responsibility, by no means an option, to speak and act up in defence of the oppressed victims. Like light which exposes, it is his duty to expose, not cover up, every known deed of wickedness and injustice. In matters related to politics, it is her duty to recognise that a case of voters’ disenfranchisement or election violence is, for example, a matter of justice and fairness and not of partisan politics. Like the widow and the fatherless in the passage we have seen, it is his duty to defend the rights of whose voice are being silenced, people who are being deprived of their rightful benefits in the society. He is obliged to “speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy" (Proverbs 31:8-9).

We are approaching the conclusion of our inquiry now. Now that we know that justice and fairness are very important elements of the Christian gospel, that God has been slandered by lying impostors who portray him as a patron of the unjust, and that silence and indifference is not an option in matters relating to justice and fairness, it remains for us to consider practical steps we can take in the pursuit and defence of justice. In this consideration it will help, and not least to rectify the smears incurred from impostors, to consider examples of men in history and contemporary times, who, motivated by their faith in God, have stood up to be counted, and worked with relentless dedication and zeal to bring about the triumph of justice in their different places and times.

How to keep your man: A true love story recommended for demented, newly married couple :D

Jomo Kìmáthíí, although very much in love, can't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.They had been married only two weeks. "Honey," says he to his new bride, "I'll be right back..."

"Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asks the wife. "I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face. I'm going to have a beer." "You want a beer, My Love?" She opens the refrigerator door shows him 25 different brands of beer from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, USA including six places he's never even heard of.

Jomo Kìmáthíí is nonplussed, and all he can think to say is, "Yes, Honey Pie, but the bar you know...the frozen glass..." He hasn't finished the sentence before wifey interrupts him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She hands him a mug out of the freezer that is so cold that it burns his fingers "Yes, Tootsie Roll," hubby says a bit desperately, "but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?" "You want hors d'oeuvres, Pookie Pooh?"

She opens the oven and removes 15 different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in a blanket, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc. "But, Sweetie, the know...the swearing, the dirty words and all that..." "You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? Here...DRINK YOUR FUCKING BEER IN YOUR FROZEN FUCKING MUG AND EAT YOUR FUCKING SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE! GOT IT, ASSHOLE?!!"

Monday 6 September 2010

Life's Little Lessons -humour:*polishing my halo*

Preamble: Man with wife and mistress sent them on same cruise. Later questioned them separately on return. He casually asked wife about the behavior of the passenger he knew to be mistress. "She slept with nearly every man on the ship," wife said. Sad man then met with mistress to ask her same questions about wife. "A real lady,..." she said. "How so?" the man asked. "She came on board with her husband and never left his side."

Now to the lessons:

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked
in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with
your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.' 'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'

Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'

The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'

'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top
of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Sh*t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..

Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow
dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who sh*ts on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of sh*t is your

(3) And when you're in deep sh*t, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!

Be good!

Wednesday 1 September 2010

Dispatches: Africa’s Last Taboo

Saw the above titled programme, on the 30th July and it was well worth it. The documentary was an eye opener. The general theme was about how some Africans are in denial about the existence of homosexuality in the continent.

What struck a chord with me was when the journalist interviewed a gay sex worker on his clients.

The sex worker says he is offered more money to sleep without a condom. He also agreed that he was hiv positive but needed the money to survive as he is ostracised from soceity and forced to live in near isolation...

((sorry to divert but a lot of us are not any different in this love for money, I have asked a lot of African professionals what their life goals are or where they see themselves as reaching self actualisation. Well their answers are 100% tied to material needs. So hey we are not any better than this guy.))

Anway six things immediately became clear:

1. He lived in squalid conditions with his 6 yr old baby sister, he needs the money badly and no amount of advice, preaching, sanctiminous and patronising camera crew will meet his need to survive.

2. He has been ostracis...ed yet still get as much as 4 clients in one night. Meaning more gay men but still in the closet! This reflects the leevl of denial in that country.

3. In the process of denial, his clients, apparently get married to women to present a facade of a family as dictated by their community..and of course must have unprotected sex with them to have children.

4. These same gay men in the closet with a family would be deeply unhappy with their lot and might display certain aggressive and bizarre behaviour in their homes or workplace. They would definitely be depressed about being forced to go in secret to sex workers to meet their sexual needs. (Those same sex workers that have been isolated from soceity with no medical aid nor other means of livelihood and so will do anything to survive including sleeping without a condom even while being hiv positive)

5. Ignorance is still rife in many places as one can hear an African say there is nothing like hiv so he/she doesnt need a condom or he is 'protected' by charms. etc etc

6. These gay men in the closet have the added burden of creating a persona that goes through the rituals which usual represents the main character traits of a paternal society. Behvaiour like being overtly sexual, macho, chauvinistic, and parts of those ritual is too be seen as promiscous, and oversexed. Naturally their alternate personas will sleep around, or keep several mistresses and if infected will definitely pass on the virus to other families infinituum.

It is time for Africa to face the truth and stop this denial...

Activity feed

This Funny Conversation Begins with a Telephone Ring..(pesky telemarketer meets his match)............

*rrring rrrinnng*

Mr Okoro : Hello?

Telemarketer: Hi, this is Raheema calling from Hollywood Hereafter Resources. I just wanted to let you know that your phone number was randomly selected in a drawing and we have reserved a free burial space for you at the New Island Cemetry in Bridge-

Mr Okoro: What?!!!

Telemarketer : If you would just give me your name and address. I want to send you a letter to confirm the free burial space we have reserved for you---

Mr Okoro: You reserved what for me.....A grave?

Telemarketer: A free burial space

Mr Okoro: What's the difference?

Telemarketer: Well the word "grave" can be scary sir, you can disregard the letter if you don't want it. This is just a courtsey call to---

Mr Okoro: So as a telemarketer, you can pick up the phone and cold call people and pitch them with such offers?

Telemarketer:Well, yes sir. We always make sure it is something of potential interest to them --

Mr Okoro: Of course, who wouldn't be interested in dying? I am definately interested in a grave. I am. That is a very important decision to make before die right?

Telemarketer:I agree with u sir. You are so open-minded about this. A lot of people don't understand why it is so important to hand-pick your final resting place before you pass on. It ensures you get the kind of burial you want for yourself.

Mr Okoro: I see say na u dem send come

Telemarketer: I'm sorry? Send....come?

Mr Okoro: Oh, they don't use the witchdoctor in the village anymore right? They have gone nuclear and now are using Americans. Na you dem send come!

Telemarketer: I'm sorry sir, but i don't know what you are talking about.

Mr Okoro: I get fillage too o! i be proper bush boy and my mama still dey kampe for waterside. Na one phone call e go take and she go run go fillage go get me gold circle condom protection, u hear. Una no dey here say e better for somebody? Why na so-so make una dey spoil person own una dey like?

Telemarketer: I don't understand what you are saying--

Mr Okoro: You go understand by force. Na airmail i go take send winch to you. You hear. Una tink say una know winch just because una dey do halloween? You tink winch na dat abracadabra una dey do for America? You tink na to chant poetry and cook soup with lizard yansh and frog tongue be winch? I go show u where we dey use snake leg do ogbonge juju. Black winch, red winch, multi-colored winch....for my fillage, na your eyes i go take flavor the juju sef. You go know beta winch when my own army land.

Telemarketer: I do apologize to you if my phone call has offended you in any way-

Mr Okoro: You have not offended me. I am not offended. Do i sound offended? Why would i be offended because you- kindhearted telemarketer that you are- reserved a grave for me? Do you know how old i am? 32 . In my country, people don't die at 32. When they die so young, it is a major tragedy! My mother and father are still alive. You want me to die before them?

Telemarketer: I didn't mean anything-

Mr Okoro: You people never mean anything when you make these stupid phone calls. How dare u wish me death--

Telemarketer: No, that's not what --

Mr Okoro: I DON'T CARE!!! Do you know how many years i worked on getting a visa to come to America? 10 Years....Ejioku.....10!. Do u know how many laws i broke in so many countires before i found my way here? I have been here only 2 yrs. All the pepole who gave me loans to buy ticket and visa have not been paid. My mother and father are still waiting for me to perform the magic of Dollars for them in Nigeria. This telephone was just connected 2 months ago because i am just now able to afford a telephone because i cannot make good money due to my illegal alien status. And now, you want me to die before i can even begin to enjoy a little,.....ah, your own don spoil o, i swear , e no go betta for you.

Telemarketer: E no....what?

Mr Okoro: Na hand ya mama and papa go take bury you. And na there eyes dem go take cry for that yeye grave wey u don reserve for yaself.

Telemarketer: Are u cussing me sir?

Mr Okoro: cuss you ke? why should i? why would i want to cuss someone who is offering me a grave? I am only reacting in my own local English. That is how we behave when we are overwhelmed with joy in my country.

Telemarketer: I just had a distinct feeling that you were not saying nice things about me.

Mr Okoro: See dis wowo wey craw-craw don chop him yansh finish....Look, just aside, are all the members of your family reserved space in your graveyard?

Telemarketer: Some of them do have--

Mr Okoro: No, don't stop there. You should get everybody a plot. I go help you use juju finish all of them make una dey go do whassup dog for Hollywood, abi na wey u dey call from

Telemarketer: I have to hang up now sir

Mr Okoro: Before u hang up, would you by any chance know anything about a scam where telemarketers call people on the phone to assure them a free burial space, and then try to get them expensive mausoleums and crypts? What is it call? Bait and switch, right?

Telemarketer: I don't know what you're talking about.

Mr Okoro: You get pickin

Telemarketer: get picking? picking what?

Mr Okoro: You get pickin? u don born bomboy? make you dash your pickin thegrave now

Telemarketer: Dash're dissing me?

Mr Okoro: Diss? Dis one pass dis, agaracha. Dis one na K.I.S.S, kiss- serious kiss of the death

Telemarketer: I have to hang up now sir

Mr Okoro: No, please wait. Let me reserve the whole cemetry for your unborn children. I will also reserve a full page in the Daily times Obituary section--

Telemarketer: Thats mean! you can't talk to me like that just because i am a telemarketer. We are people too

Mr Okoro: Yes, bad people....people who call to trick me at all kinds of hours into buying something i don't want.

Telemarketer: I'm going to report you to the INS! You will be deported!

Mr Okoro: My juju go don finish you before you reach the place. Winch pass winch! you no go die betta, i tell you. I go make sure u crase first, make you waka enter k-mart abi wetin una dey call market for dis side- before dem finish you!...... She reserve grave......why you no take knife kill me yaself? E no go betta for ---hello? you hang up? why u no wait make i finish ? why not wait? Oloshi! Na dead dog wey get rabies go chop the mouth you take talk to me.