AS TOLD BY A PROUDLY 'KEPT' HOUSEHOUSEBAND

The countdown to Christmas day and a new year is still on! I pray you and your family and friends will be blessed beyond your expectations!

 Do you think Nigerian men (in Nigeria) will agree to be a househusband, only useful for sexual activities? Just came across this write up by Ariyike Akinbobola a lawyer turned media personality titled; The Ikoyi husband.

 Everyday, I wake up by 7.30a.m just in time to take our daughter to school. By that time, the old woman that calls herself my wife along with her two house helps and Phillipino au-pair would have done a fine job of getting our princess ready for school. Before you crucify me for calling her “old”, Let me inform you that my wife is 20 years older than me. This woman was already a grown *** woman before I was born.

In my usual dress code that was gradually becoming more like a super hero’s costume, I wore my casual patterned shorts, a blue Ralph Lauren tee, brown sandals and my Ray bans. Off to school we went.

I was back from school runs in no time. On getting home, I was welcomed by my wife, her friend and the friend’s pretty younger sister who looked extremely familiar. I think she was the babe I tried to block at Sip the other night. While trying not to make eye contact with anyone, I said my hellos and moved on swiftly into the sitting room. As I brought out my X-box, I could hear my Madam’s friends gushing about how her ring still looked brand new after two years of marriage. Of course, my bragging wife gave her usual response of “If you’re worth it, he will go all out to buy you the best. You know this 2.5 carat Tiffany set Kola back a whooping 41,500 dollars”. She went further to say “You don’t even want to know how much my darling spent on our customised wedding bands”.

I remember thinking to myself that babes can be shallow sha. “E ro pe emi Kola, omo Okokomaiko ma naa 41,500 dollars lori ring oshi? Baba e lo ti set back” meaning “Do you think that I, Kola a guy from Okokomaiko will buy a ring for 41,500 dollars? It’s her father that she has set back”. Excuse my Yoruba, it’s just that most times, when I think deeply, I do so in my native language.

As I switched on my X-box to start tanning my game, I overheard them talking about how there are no good men out there anymore. You should have heard how they were cooing about how my wife is so lucky to have a handsome man like me. Her friend kept saying “Kola is such a good guy, his type is very rare these days”. I almost puked out game cartridges from my mouth when I heard my wife say “That’s why I’m the luckiest girl on earth”. *Girl sha…More like old mama*

This is a woman who I can count how many things I’ve said to this year. A woman who has never cooked for me. We live like strangers in this house. We don’t even sleep in the same room and we both know that we’re miserable in this marriage. The only time we communicate is when she wants to have sex and of course me, being the bad boy I am would never say no to sex. In the heat of the moment, she calls me the “banana man”. Yes, we live in Ocean Parade, Banana Island, Ikoyi but that’s not why she calls me “BM” *Winks*

Sometimes, I wonder if Caroline’s friends are dumb enough to believe all she says about me and our marriage especially when her friends who I should ordinarily be calling Aunty Joy, Aunty Fati and Aunty Bisi pass silly comments like “Caro, I tap into your annointing”. These women are still looking for love in their 50s. After all, Caro finally found love at age 42 but they tend to forget that their own fathers are not as rich as my father-in-law who is probably the richest man most of them would ever meet in their lifetime.

On our wedding day, he gave us our place in Banana Island – a block of 12 serviced apartments on Glover road Ikoyi where we would be receiving rent of 700,000 dollars annually; a Range Rover Evoque for Caro, a Range Rover sport for me. Both SUVs specially delivered to us by the car dealer himself. We also got an all-expense paid honeymoon to 4 different continents and a host of other gifts.The cheques his friends gave us amounted to millions of Naira. If you were me, would you ever work again considering the fact that in my past life, I was just your everyday hustler?

Caro must never even know that I’m yet to complete my O.N.D. Now I’m regretting telling her that I finished from the University of Lagos because they won’t allow me buy a degree from there. I should have called a less popular University. Maybe they would have been able to “sort” me out.

It’s easy for you to call me all kinds of names like gold digger, scrub, thief, money grabbing gigolo and all but a man’s gotta do what a man’s got to do. All the while I was living in Okokomaiko, I always told myself that I would make it in life. So I made sure I attended primary and secondary school by force. I also read a lot, I would pick up old newspapers to read just to brush up my literacy skills and my girlfriend, Chi chi was always there to encourage me.

My heart still belongs to Chi chi, she has always been the love of my life from our childhood days in Okoko. Infact, we’re still together. I’m currently paying her school fees in Bowen University, Iwo and I just bought her parents a house in Lekki. These are people who never dreamt of coming to visit friends on the Island. Now, they live here on the Island close to me. It’s almost as if the Lekki-Ikoyi bridge was built for me because it’s very easy to go see my babe in Lekki.

I’ll stay married to my ‘old cargo’ because I don’t ever want to go back to poverty. Even if I’m to cry out of frustration, I’ll feel happier doing so in my Range Rover instead of the Danfo buses I was once accustomed to.

I am not ashamed to say that I am the latest Lagos big boy (LBB). I am the guy that pops a minimum of 15 bottles of any bottle my love interest at a club decides to drink, I am the man that would buy the only bottle of Gouts de Diamants at the club so that the real rich kids can bow. I am that guy that stops to pick up prostitutes at night by the law school junction in Victoria Island. I am the man who lives off my wife and father-in-law’s wealth. I am that father who loves his little princess with a passion. I am a kept man. I am the Ikoyi husband.

Mena says: This is not a current trend, its been on for ages. My question, why isnt this very lazy, shameless man keeping his end of the contract?  Caro is keeping her end, at least from what I am reading, so why the Chichi by the side? I think it is because men ideally prefer to be the Lord of the Manor, Head of the house, Man of the Home etcetera regardless of how they came into the resources that perhaps put them there.. But thats just my opinion

DO NOT READ if you think marriage is the solution to your problem

HI!

 With the start of naughty November i fished this out for you ; Marriage Isn’t For You by Seth Adam Smith...read on

Kim and I

Having been married only a year and a half, I’ve recently come to the conclusion that marriage isn’t for me.
Now before you start making assumptions, keep reading.
I met my wife in high school when we were 15 years old. We were friends for ten years until…until we decided no longer wanted to be just friends. :) I strongly recommend that best friends fall in love. Good times will be had by all.
Nevertheless, falling in love with my best friend did not prevent me from having certain fears and anxieties about getting married. The nearer Kim and I approached the decision to marry, the more I was filled with a paralyzing fear. Was I ready? Was I making the right choice? Was Kim the right person to marry? Would she make me happy?
Then, one fateful night, I shared these thoughts and concerns with my dad.
Perhaps each of us have moments in our lives when it feels like time slows down or the air becomes still and everything around us seems to draw in, marking that moment as one we will never forget.
My dad giving his response to my concerns was such a moment for me. With a knowing smile he said, “Seth, you’re being totally selfish. So I’m going to make this really simple: marriage isn’t for you. You don’t marry to make yourself happy, you marry to make someone else happy. More than that, your marriage isn’t for yourself, you’re marrying for a family. Not just for the in-laws and all of that nonsense, but for your future children. Who do you want to help you raise them? Who do you want to influence them? Marriage isn’t for you. It’s not about you. Marriage is about the person you married.”
It was in that very moment that I knew that Kim was the right person to marry. I realized that I wanted to make her happy; to see her smile every day, to make her laugh every day. I wanted to be a part of her family, and my family wanted her to be a part of ours. And thinking back on all the times I had seen her play with my nieces, I knew that she was the one with whom I wanted to build our own family.
My father’s advice was both shocking and revelatory. It went against the grain of today’s “Walmart philosophy”, which is if it doesn’t make you happy, you can take it back and get a new one.
No, a true marriage (and true love) is never about you. It’s about the person you love—their wants, their needs, their hopes, and their dreams. Selfishness demands, “What’s in it for me?”, while Love asks, “What can I give?”
Some time ago, my wife showed me what it means to love selflessly. For many months, my heart had been hardening with a mixture of fear and resentment. Then, after the pressure had built up to where neither of us could stand it, emotions erupted. I was callous. I was selfish.
But instead of matching my selfishness, Kim did something beyond wonderful—she showed an outpouring of love. Laying aside all of the pain and aguish I had caused her, she lovingly took me in her arms and soothed my soul.

Marriage is about family.

I realized that I had forgotten my dad’s advice. While Kim’s side of the marriage had been to love me, my side of the marriage had become all about me. This awful realization brought me to tears, and I promised my wife that I would try to be better.

To all who are reading this article—married, almost married, single, or even the sworn bachelor or bachelorette—I want you to know that marriage isn’t for you. No true relationship of love is for you. Love is about the person you love.

And, paradoxically, the more you truly love that person, the more love you receive. And not just from your significant other, but from their friends and their family and thousands of others you never would have met had your love remained self-centered.

Truly, love and marriage isn’t for you. It’s for others.

This post originally appeared on ForwardWalking.com, a website dedicated to helping people move forward in life.

26TH OCT 2013, THE DAY I (MENA UKODOISREADY) ALMOST DIED...

This  happened on the 26th October, and I continued with work everyday till 30th and BAM then pain and agony hit me resulting in what i can best picture as terrible 

I wrote this note about 2 hrs after the event on 26/10/2015. THANKS FOR READING AND MAY THIS NEVER EVER HAPPEN TO YOU

My Car after the Accident    

So was driving down my street, seat belt on, the road so familiar it is easy to go into auto-pilot and this is what I do when I  got to a bend.  You see each time I get to a bend I Instinctively step on the brakes to slow down...it didnt work this time. In  a flash I realised that oncoming vehicles and pedestrians will naturally be on the street, and in other not to crash into, or hurt or kill anyone, I turned the steering directing it into a nearby deserted side walk close to an uncompleted fence. I  said my prayers and accepted the calmness that came with it.

Like a movie on slow motion the side of my car smashed into the fence till i did a 180. My side mirror and glass shattered, realising I still had consciousness I switched off the car and prepared to get out of it.

Taxis and cars slowed down to gawk. People rushed in they were all shouting different commands, "Lady use this door (passenger door) you crashed with the side of your car that has your fuel tank and the impact might cause it to explode" or words to that effect. They pulled me out through the passenger seat. I stood there bleeding and shaking. I heard all the words;
"Lady, My brother has a car work shop a few minutes away, let me take you there"
"Madam na God save you, you be number 4 person wey hit this same fence at this same part of the road", "Madam, you cant take this car away until you repair our fence, its 250 naira for the size of block, we need a hundred blocks and then we need cement and labourer's wage"
But many said, "You are bleeding, go to the hospital immediately, you are still in shock but may have suffered internal injuries"

and this is how I walked away with shards of glass bruising my hands and elbow and a slight limp. I noticed someone in a hijab, her camera phone pointed at me. Then noticed another man also taking pictures with his phone. But its okay.

This the fence after the wreckage

The owner of the fence wanted me to start repairing immediately, everybody else said go to the hospital. Went to the first hospital they were on strike, then the next and the next till I finally got one.

I am currently conscious and would love to say Thank You God for sparing me. I also want to say thank you to everybody who instinctively stepped in to help inspite of the danger. I cant list them all.
Thanks to my God, Who protects me and loves me so much (i dont know why, but He loves me) then my everloving Family, to Daniel, little Abba, Mansur, Oga Chris, The Policeman, the numerous men and women on the street, the doctors, the other hospital staff that tried to help.in spite of the strike. Last but certainly not least are my friends.
 
Before I forget, thanks to you for reading this...There will be many more thanks to be made... I want to add the following;

A. I think we should take it as a responsibility to learn about first aid.
B. I  think we should slow down each time we see the scene of an accident and instead of gawking/taking pictures, we should park safely and come out to help save a life.
C. I also think we should make a pledge, save a portion of our earnings every month no matter how small or big, and save it, with the aim to cash it out to help out strangers xyz the accident victims, they may never know you helped them,  you may never know whose life you are saving....

I hope this make an impact on every reader's mind.
Happy End of October! :-)

Hello November! :-)


I hope this make an impact on every reader's mind.

HUNKY TOM HANKS DIAGNOSED WITH TYPE 2 DIABETES..

Tom Hanks, my childood favourite actor has shared news that he has been diagnosed with the common form of the disease - which is the result of the body not producing enough insulin to function properly - in an interview with chat show host David Letterman.

Tom admitted he has been experiencing symptoms for 20 years but only recently received the  diagnosis from his doctor.

 

 

WHAT IS TYPE 2 DIABETES?

Diabetes occurs when the pancreas does not produce enough insulin, or when the body cannot efficiently use it to convert glucose to provide energy. 

World Health Organisation statistics show that 347 million people worldwide have the condition, which can damage the heart, blood vessels, eyes, kidneys, and nerves -  increasing the risk of heart disease, kidney failure, stroke and blindness.

Type 1 is caused when the cells that produce the hormone insulin are destroyed – and is usually diagnosed early in life.

Type 2 diabetes occurs when the insulin produced becomes less effective - normally as a result of being overweight and inactive. The body needs more and more insulin to try to keep blood sugar within a normal range. 

Although the biggest risk factor for type 2 diabetes is weight, genes can also have an important role.

And one in five people with the condition  - such as Tom Hanks - are not obese, with many leading healthy lifestyles.

The problem is that the stereotype of the type 2 diabetes sufferer means that as many as one million people may be going undiagnosed simply because they do not believe they are in a high-risk group.

Experts warn that invisible internal fat around vital organs could be placing this group at risk.

The usual treatment for type 2 diabetes is diet and lifestyle changes and taking metformin, a drug that boosts the amount of insulin taken up by the cells. In more severe cases, patients need to inject themselves with insulin.

Other celebrities who have been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes include Halle Berry, Patti Labelle, Drew Carey and Chaka Khan.

Hanks shared the news after David Letterman commented on his weight and said he was looking relatively trimmer. 
Speaking on the show Tom said: 'I went to the doctors and they said', "You know those high blood sugar numbers you've been living with since you were 36, well you've graduated, you've got Type 2 Diabetes young man"'.

Read More HERE

 

Beautiful Nike Oshinowo welcome twins?

Hello

If this is true, I think it is great news, everyone deserves to be happy!

If you dont know Nike, here is what I got from her wiki page: Nike Oshinowo (born Adenike Asabi Oshinowo, c. 1968) is a Nigerian businesswoman, socialite, entrepreneur and former pageant director.^[3]

Oshinowo was raised in Ibadan and England, where she attended boarding school. Although she had intended to become an air hostess or a doctor, she studied Politics at the University of Essex. Shortly after obtaining her degree, Oshinowo, who was mentored by former Miss Nigeria Helen Prest-Davies, represented Rivers at the Most Beautiful Girl in Nigeria pageant and became its first Yoruba winner (she was crowned in December 1990, but reigned in 1991).^[4]

After her reign which saw her compete at Miss World, Oshinowo featured in a commercial for Venus cosmetics and hosted a fashion and beauty show on Nigerian television. Her business ventures included an African restaurant and Skin Deep, a health and beauty spa^[5] which ran for seven years before it was sold after she decided to create her own range of beauty products for the Nigerian market.^[6][7] On January 17, 2010, she released the workout video Nike Oshinowo: Fit, Forty and Fabulous - the first celebrity fitness DVD produced in the country - and is currently working on the beauty products which will include fragrance, skincare, and haircare.^[8][3]

Now in her forties, Oshinowo, who is fluent in five languages including Japanese and French, is hailed as a style icon in her homeland. She married medical doctor Tunde Soleye in 2006,^[9][10] but the couple have now separated.^[11]In 2009, the couple was in the news following a lawsuit instituted by Soleye's ex-wife Funmilayo, who claimed that he had been unfaithful with Oshinowo during their marriage.^[12]

In 2010, after a six-year attempt, Oshinowo finally bought the Miss Nigeria franchise from former organisers Daily Times, and became chief executive and creative director of the pageant.^[3][13][14] As of 2012, she is no longer in charge of the pageant ^{[15] [16]}

The former beauty queen welcomed a set of twins - a boy and a girl, via surrogacy a few months ago in the US. Nike and the twins returned to Nigeria on Monday September 30th. The twins are Nike's biological children but was carried and birthed by another woman - The identity of the children's father is currently unknown but there are indications that Nike bought sperm from a sperm bank in the US. The 47 year old who has over the years battled endometriosis already has two adopted children.

Huge congratulations to her

AUTHOR OF THE DAY IS THE OUTLANDISH - DUCHESS OF 'ACKNEY --- "MY PRISON STORY"

Hello, Have a blessed October. Please enjoy:

 

When I refer to my time in prison on some of my posts, I’d like to make it clear that I am not a criminal nor am I contrite about what led me there, as you will discover the more I write.

It was simple economics. I met the supply and demand of two parties. It was very profitable, very ego boosting and very enjoyable. Los Angeles and several major cities in the USA had wealthy men who enjoyed the company of beautiful smart women. There were beautiful ambitious women, who wanted financial independence so they chose a way to make large amounts of money and have fun along the way. The law called it Pimping and Pandering, I called it P2P – Pay to Play.

I brought both parties together, however in most of the US, it is a felony punishable by a mandatory minimum of 3 years in prison. Not deterred after my first stint of 18 months of which I did half of after a plea bargain where I plead guilty to attempted pandering, I opened shop a week after I was released and went back to prison 3 years later. Twice I was sentenced by Judge Lance Ito, the same judge who presided over the OJ Simpson trial in Los Angeles.

Unlike a lot of other Brits who have done time in foreign prisons, especially US prisons and on release blown their experiences out to lure an audience with exaggerated tales, mine was a breeze. Accommodation was minimal as one would expect and the food dreadful, but it wasn’t a total nightmare. I was able to wear relatively nice comfy clothes, had my favorite perfumes and made sure I had tons of sexy Victoria Secret lingerie to make me feel human. I had all the books I could read, kept up my subscription for Vanity Fair and Rolling Stone, had a TV and CD player, even learned to play the guitar.

Still, I wouldn’t recommend it. Having your liberty taken away is very devastating, but I made the best of a bad situation.

California women’s prisons have changed a hell lot since the ’90′s, and women no longer are afforded the privileges (if you can call it that) I enjoyed.

But over a decade of being paranoid about undercover cops, trying to entrap my ladies and myself, undercover female cops trying to infiltrate my business as prospective escorts, always looking over my shoulder, having to live a double life, lying every day, not being able to trust people and the threat of going back to prison took its toll. I called it quits for a year and travelled.

When I tried to take up where I left off, I discovered I had lost the passion for it.

After a few scrapes and very stupid decisions… I decided I needed a break as well as to reassure my family I wouldn’t return to the UK in a body bag.

I flew out of LA on a relatively warm late November afternoon and arrived in London on a cold grey dark November morning. My sister and her husband were forced to stop at the fist decent fish and chip shop….. I knew I was back home.

 

For more read Duchess of Hackney

 

JOKES FOR CHURCH GOERS ROFLOL!!

Abeg  LWKM (Laugh Wan Kpai Me)

Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High".

Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.

Thursday night--Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when A. B. Doe supplied our pulpit.

The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to the delight of his audience.

The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev. Shirley Green, who has Mrs. Green with him. After the service we request that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.

The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet" in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11th.

Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing for the girth of their first child.

Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."

Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again" giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.


The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.

"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. 

:-D and how was your Sunday? ;-)

*GRAPHIC PHOTO* SOME BARE NAKED THOUGHTS ON LOVE, RELATIONSHIP, SEX

Nigerian guy wrote: Why is it that some of guys, ( know ourselves) can't render help to a girl without demanding to sleep with her?
Sometimes, there are those girls that will angrily ask us: "so unless I sleep with you, you won't help me with this small problem- are you that heartless? If it's me, I would do it for you!"
And there are those men that will give girls gifts and money and finally send that ugly, insulting and flesh business message: "when are you coming to spend the weekend with me and show me your curves and turns?"
Listen guy, my experience is that it pays better and faster to ask from day-one: "babes how much are you selling this 'your flesh?' Negotiate and enter; never accuse a girl of "after eating your money....this and that." What were you doing while she was eating it- probably hoping that the woman you can't talk to, can allow you buy her?
Anyway, here is the solution to this problem: that thing you know you can do for a guy that does not include sex, please start doing it long before asking for financial help; and why ask for money anyway? Why not for a comparative help? That way, you will not be provocatively pushing us to ask you for the favour we pretend is the only one you can offer- opening your legs from any angle. If for example, I should ask you to help make a cloth for me, or cook "your special for me" or help me prepare for work interview and in return, you ask me to help clean out your closet or fix your TV or accompany you to your office "end of year party," or lift that heavy stuff around the house, how on earth would I demand for sex in return- I dey mad?
Let us Convince each other early enough that we can really do something for each other as we craft this friendship of equals. If you ask me for money today, and you know that I am not going to ask for sex, then be prepared for the day that I will ask you for little assistance with money as well. Let us end this flesh business. But I am not going to spoil business for anybody oh: if a girl is offering herself at an agreed sum, by all means enjoy!
So, What is that thing that you can do for your male friend or acquaintance that does not include your back on the bed or your hands on the sofa? And for guys, when you render a female friend some financial help, what other thing would you expect from her other than tearing away at her pants?
(MIU, Sept. 2013).



KDL®™©2013 says: I was raised in love with love, I only know love not hate, so I tend to gravitate towards those who love with ease, cause for me, it's easy...there are those who unfortunately were not raised in love, they don't know how to love, but want to learn, you have got to learn to love them in a special way and accept, though it may not be easy, if you've experienced love, don't keep it to yourself, share, and don't share with just those that it's easy to giggle with, share with some that may frustrate you a times, share with those that might not give it back, yes it's a wonderful feeling being loved in return, everyone who has experienced love, wants that, but there is something gratifying about giving it away knowing it may not come back, love, love and love some more..

DERENLE THE REBEL AND MISFIT..

Hi
Please enjoy this

Long ago as a preteenager,  I first noticed this guy in a programme called Kiddie Vision 101 on NTA, and since then he has moved on to Soundcity as well as other profitable hosting gigs and I have admired him all the way.
Good Looking, Different, Non Conformist, yet Talented, to me he epitomises the type of people that bring Change to whatever situation, as opposed to those who criticise Change but do nothing about it or those who keep conforming to whatever Change brings to them.
Along with his personal achievements, he has been credited for being behind the success of Big Brother Amplified Winner Karen Igho

This attitude has helped him achieve in so many ways that at his young age, (just 30yrs old)  he is regarded as a 'godfather' to people whether older or younger than him. He has not only grown in his career, but he has helped other people grow as well and love it or lump it he is dedicated to them regardless of what bad press they may receive and such bad press by extension, is transferred Derenle himself.

In a recently article he is quoted to have said the Entertainment industry is big enough for everyone!

I have never met him but I must say I really like Derenle Edun!

Steve Jobs quote is befitting to him; Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently -- they're not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.

Have a glam weekend!
Mena
P.S: I do not know him and was not paid for this, but just had to give credit where it is due :)

MUST READ: How To Become An Overnight Billionaire In Nigeria — Femi Aribisala

Hello

Its Friday, the start to what I pray for us to be a happy weekend. So who wants to be a billionaire AS SOON AS POSSIBLE? Read on...

If you want to get rich quick, here is the Nigerian blueprint. But please, don’t tell anyone I “wiki-leaked”this highly-classified national secret to you. 

With only some 50 years of independent national existence, Nigeria is a country reeking with “new money.” The overwhelming proportion of the millionaires and billionaires in the country are “nouveau-riche;” they became rich literally “overnight.” We are talking of people whose wealth does not go beyond a generation. Indeed, the fantastic wealth of Nigerian billionaires like Femi Otedola scarcely goes beyond ten/fifteen years. Not only does Nigeria’s wealthy few have a short history, they often have a short future as well. The money comes “miraculously” and goes just as “miraculously.” 

In my youth, S.B. Bakare was the celebrated Nigerian tycoon. Highlife stars and juju musicians eulogised him in their records. But ask a young Nigerian today who S.B. Bakare is, and I can bet my bottom dollar he has never heard of him. S.B. has fallen off the radar and so has his wealth. It is not identifiable by any major industry or enterprise. His descendants may still be in litigation over the dregs of his estate, but undoubtedly it is nothing to write home about again. Certainly, nobody is singing about S.B. Bakare today. There are now new pretenders to his throne.

New dawn 

Time was when wealthy Nigerians built something, developed something, or made something. At that time, the rich were truly captains of industry. Alhaji Sanusi Dantata made his fortune in the era of the groundnut pyramids in the North; buying and shipping them for export. Sir Odumegwu Ojukwu had Nigeria’s largest fleet of inter-city “mammy-wagons.” He also imported “panla” (dried fish) on a large scale. Sir Mobolaji Bank-Anthony had a tanker fleet and a pioneering charter airline. Emmanuel Akwiwu, hauled oil-rigs and supplies for British Petroleum. Chief Timothy Adeola Odutola produced bicycle tires for the growing army of Nigerian bike-riders. 

But thanks to oil, much of Nigerian wealth is no longer the product of such ventures. Yes, we have billionaires like Ibrahim Dasuki and Mike Adenuga who can still be rightfully described as highly enterprising. But even more significantly, we have tycoons who came into wealth through “wuru-wuru” and “mago-mago.” These men are hardly Nigeria’s Bill Gates. On the contrary, they don’t have a clue what to do with their dubious wealth, and they are ignorant about wealth-creation. As such, they add little of value to the Nigerian project. Their praises may be sung today by their horde of parasitical hangers-on, but they will not be remembered for good when they are gone. As mysteriously as their wealth materialized, so will it vanish.

These men became rich through some of the following tried and tested methods, which can be relied upon to lead to one’s inclusion in the Nigerian Book of Irrelevant Rich Men. If you want to get rich quick, here is the Nigerian blueprint. But please, don’t tell anyone I “wiki-leaked” this highly-classified national secret to you.

1. Rob a bank 

This strategy has gone through some transition. Bank-robbers used to be men of the underworld who held banks hostage at gunpoint and then made off with the cash. However, it was soon recognised that this approach has distinct disadvantages. You might get arrested and jailed. Even worse, you might get shot. It also became apparent that banks carry limited amounts of cash.Therefore, a successful bank robbery of this violent kind might only land you perhaps 50 million naira tops, which is not even enough to buy or build a house in Banana Island. There is a better way to rob a bank with far limited risk. Simply establish a bank. 

When you establish a bank, you can rob the bank every day without a gun. When people deposit money in your bank, they don’t know that they are handing over their life-savings to a thief. You then rob the bank you establish in a number of imaginative ways. For example, you can lend money to your bank and then charge it a very high interest-rate. Better still, you can borrow billions from your bank and simply forget to pay it back. Or, you can use the money deposited in your bank to buy houses and then rent them out as branches to your bank at exorbitant prices.

This approach is guaranteed to make you a few billion naira until the EFCC policemen come calling. When they do, you can quickly fall sick, spend a few months in Deluxe Hospital Hotel and then relocate to your village to enjoy your wealth, never to be heard of again.

2. Join the PDP. 

This one is a sure banker. As a member of the greatest party in the history of Africa, you will be given a credit-card to spend Nigeria’s oil wealth. If you are not getting enough attention in the party, make a lot of noise. Abuse Tinubu on the pages of the newspapers and call Buhari an idiot. Insist that Goodluck Jonathan should not only run for re-election unopposed in 2015, there should be a constitutional amendment to make him a life-president. This is a tell-tale sign that you are hungry; and the powers-that-be will soon invite you to “come and chop.” 

As a distinguished member of this great party, the opportunities open for you to set yourself up for life are considerable. For example, you can start collecting billions for petroleum subsidy and simply not import any petrol whatsoever. You can get the government to change all car license-plates nationwide; and then become the sole supplier of the new license-plates. You can ask the president to make you the sole importer and distributor of diesel for the entire country. Of course, this might also entail that you become the chairman of his re-election campaign, to which you duly make a handsome contribution. Alternatively, you can ask to be chairman of the Nigerian Ports Authority.

Nobody will bat an eyelid when, within a matter of months, you have a fleet of cars, have two or three houses in Asokoro, and own four hotels in Dubai. You may even kick out your wife and marry a fourteen-year-old “Suzie” befitting your new status. You have arrived as one of Nigeria’s celebrated rich men. But keep your eyes on the ball. Don’t get distracted or carried away. The enemies of Mr. President must always remain your enemies.

3. Start a mega-church 

This one is pure genius. Peradventure you lose your job or fall on hard times. Don’t go into depression. Just start a church. Make it a purpose-built church. Think of something that men need. Tell them you have the anointing to provide it. Tell them whoever wants to be a billionaire should come to your church. Start a few of your messages with “Thus says the Lord.” Then teach your congregation the everlasting principles of sowing and reaping.

Make sure they understand that if they really want God to bless them financially, they first have to give you as much money as possible. Create a special prayer group for millionaires and billionaires. That way, if they get any new government contract they will attribute it to the efficacy of your prayers and credit something big into your bank account. Tell everybody to give you their “first-fruits.” That is a code word for their entire January salaries. Then come up with imaginative offerings to collect, such as “prophet’s offering,” (you, of course, being the prophet); “Father, Son and Holy Ghost offerings;” “Jesus will do it offering.” 

Very soon, you will be flying your own private jet to preach your gospel in Ilesha; you will be wearing white Armani suits and jerry-curling your hair; you will be collecting gate-fees for new years’ eve services; billionaire thieves and robbers will be queuing up to see your private-secretary on the Lagos-Ibadan expressway; and you will be inviting Bill Clinton to open your multi-billion naira Tower of Babylon in Osapa-London. In short, you will be living large. For good measure, you will also be slapping demons out of poor bewitched damsels with impunity.

4. Become a mule 

There is high demand for this job. There are many politicians and men of timber and caliber looking for >a>mules; men who can keep stolen money for them, or smuggle it to safe havens abroad. This is a highly lucrative job because for every ten billion naira you smuggle, you can pocket one billion. Don’t get greedy and come to the conclusion that you can make off with the entire loot. That is a sure way to have assassins on your tail. Before they kill you, they will first break your legs. If you are caught while smuggling money abroad, you can easily escape and come back home dressed as a woman. Then you can get a national merit award.

If you are a mule for a president or a governor, you are set up for life. You will get 24 hours military protection so that no petty thief can come near you. You will get to travel all over the world. You will get free medical check-ups, so that you don’t just fall down one day and die. That would be disastrous, especially if your sponsor does not know exactly where you kept his loot, or if he does not have the password to the secret account you opened for it in the Bahamas in the name of Ali Baba.

Mena says: I understand some of his views, please see more at
247nigerianewsupdate

not just about SEX, SEX SEX, an advice on how to keep your marriage FRESH

 



 

20 Marriage Advice I Wish I Would Have Had- By Gerald Rogers

Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had…

1) Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.


2) PROTECT YOUR OWN HEART. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.

3) FALL IN LOVE OVER and OVER and OVER again. You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

4) ALWAYS SEE THE BEST in her. Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.

5) IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO CHANGE OR FIX HER… your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.

6) TAKE FULL ACCOUNTABILITY for your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.

7) NEVER BLAME your wife If YOU get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them… when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.

Allow your woman to JUST BE. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.

9) BE SILLY… don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

10) FILL HER SOUL EVERYDAY… learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.

11) BE PRESENT. Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.

12) BE WILLING TO TAKE HER SEXUALLY, to carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.

13) DON’T BE AN IDIOT…. And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.

14) GIVE HER SPACE… The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing…. (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)

15) BE VULNERABLE… you don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.

16) BE FULLY TRANSPARENT. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don’t know i she will like what she finds… Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.

17) NEVER STOP GROWING TOGETHER… The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.

18) DON’T WORRY ABOUT MONEY. Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.

19) FORGIVE IMMEDIATELY and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.

20) ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.

In the end MARRIAGE isn’t about Happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come.

Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.

These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late.



RACISM OR BIGOTRY??!! You would look beautiful, if only you were lighter skinned

Hello

For your weekend delight here is another story concerning India but this time told by an Indian lady,  click for first story here

I often come across to people as a confident and calm woman until some fellow Indian starts making rude remarks about my skin color. I am perfectly comfortable with my skin tone, but certain attitudes and behaviors can and have caused me pain and frustration.

After years of singing "Jai Hind" songs under the intolerable heat of sun every morning at the school assembly, I realised that my dream is to leave India. Some among many other reasons for this are linked to my skin color: bullying at school, rejected job offers, discrimination at work, mocked by friends, family, random strangers in the street etc. After looking at many matrimonial ads in newspapers in India, I realised that I might not find a husband unless my parents had a huge amount of money to compensate for my skin color, which they did not have. I was 16 when I started working very hard in many hotels around India and supporting my part time studies until one day at the age of 19 "the not so proud Indian that I am" left India with a one way ticket and 200 Euros in my pocket. I had the hardest time of my life after that trying to support myself and complete my education, but to this day I think that Ieaving India was the best decision of my life. I ended up in the beautiful French Riviera, where I am treated fairly and I have to say, I enjoy every minute of it. Here remarks about my skin color include, you look exotic, you have a beautiful tan etc which are so positive that it fills my heart and I often get to a state of disbelief as I never heard such nice things about my skin during the first 19 years of my life in India. The kindest thing an Indian would tell me is how beautiful I would look if I had a fair skin. Pointing out that one thing that is considered an imperfection!

I more or less stopped associating myself with Indians after many of my meetings with them included discussions about skin color. This is my favourite one! A girl says to me " I used to do a lot of outdoor sports until I realised that it is making me darker. I stopped and I became a lot lighter. I used to be as dark as you". The idea of stopping a very healthy habit in favor of not wanting to be as dark as I am seemed ridiculous.

My most recent experience put an end to any efforts I would have made to make new Indian acquaintances. I was very excited during the Grand Prix weekend in Monaco that I was going to an Indian party. I came across this arrogant, rich and famous north Indian guy with a skin condition called Vitiligo. He asked me "Where are you from?". I answered "I am from Kerala". He turned around and joked to his friends "Look at her skin color, where else do you think she is from" in Hindi which is a language I perfectly understand. They all had a laugh at my expense which was the bit that annoyed me and I stormed off. A person with millions who could not find a cure to his skin condition thought it was funny to joke about my dark skin.

I married the love of my life, an Irish man who came up to me on the street one day and said "You are beautiful! I would like to take you out for dinner". Finally, there he is! My husband! I have crossed the hurdle of finding a husband with my dark skin! BUT, my problem doesn't end here! We got married in India and I got so tired of being asked, "How did you find such a fair handsome husband?". Another person said "You are lucky that you won't have dark children like you". The photographer said "You will look darker next to your husband and I'll have to do some work on that". I was too busy at the wedding that I did not pay attention to that comment which resulted in me looking very fair in my wedding photos and it took a while for me to realise that they are my photos. I dread going back to India as many Indians have made me feel that I am not worthy of having my white husband as no one around me remotely saw the mutual attraction between us regardless of the difference in our skin tone.

I do hope that these campaigns work and have a positive impact.

Clearly discrimination exists to a greater or lesser extent all over the world, I acknowledge that I am just focusing on a specific subset, that area in which I have personal experience, racism towards one's own race from within.

Finally, lest there be any doubt, I am indeed fully aware that the world has many equally or more serious issues which I would love to see solved. My choice in addressing this particular issue here is not intended to disrespect or undermine people who are impacted either more severely or by issues of greater ultimate importance. I merely seek to use my voice to discuss an issue which is important and with which I have personal familiarity. I hope that readers can excuse this human limitation as I take time to focus on this particular topic.

Too fat, too thin, too dark, wrong hair, wrong nose, too short, too tall, Will there ever beeen an end to discrimination???!!
 

SUICIDE???!!! Martin Manley the blogger pulled out his .380 pistol, and shot himself in the head

On 15th August Martin Manley killed himself and left a sprawling website explaining his decision. Yahoo took the site down calling it a violation of its terms of service.

Activists claiming affiliation with the hacker group Anonymous have set up a website of their own, martinmanley.org, providing a mirror version of the original site and adding a message of sympathy for Martin and his loved ones. The activists say they don't condone suicide but believe Manley deserves to have his writings preserved after his death. 
 
Martin Manley included photos throughout the website he built to explain the reason why he chose suicide. He wrote "Today is August 15, 2013. Today is my 60th birthday. Today is the last day of my life. Today, I committed suicide. Today, is the first day this site is active, but it will be here for years to come. Before I get into the nuts and bolts of this site, I first must say to those whom I have a special bond with, please don't think that I didn't consider your feelings. I'm sorry... very sorry for the hurt and pain I will have caused by my actions. In all probability, I won't be able to justify it to you - at least not today. Maybe someday you will come to understand... better. If not today, maybe someday you will be able to read what I've said and learn why. Maybe someday you will be able to forgive me. I love you!
 Not only do I look 60, I think 60, I act 60, I'll never have to see myself at 70 or 80, thats a good thing."

At 5 a.m. he entered a police station parking lot in a suburb of Kansas City, Kansas, walked to a spot beneath a tree on its far south end and pulled out his phone.

He dialed 911.

He said this:

"I want to report a suicide at the south end of the parking lot of the Overland Park Police Station at 123rd and Metcalf." 

 

Never before in the history of human communication have suicide notes been such a public affair, easily accessible to the masses and potentially lasting forever.

"Let me ask you a question," Manley wrote on his website, which he divided into 34 categories and 44 subcategories. "After you die, you can be remembered by a few-line obituary for one day in a newspaper when you're too old to matter to anyone anyway ... OR you can be remembered for years by a site such as this. That was my choice and I chose the obvious."

 

Martin Manley's sister, Barbie Flick  is trying to reach Yahoo to get the site restored. She gave the following statement:

"I am very saddened that Yahoo would dishonor my brother's contract that he made with them. I learned from my brother posthumously that he had worked on this web site for over a year. Martin had been a very private person in many ways. It was incredibly important to him that all who cared for him be able to see who he really was. I speak for all of his friends and family, when I say that we want to be able to have access to this site.

A cursory read will tell the reader that Martin was not advocating suicide for others. There is nothing offensive about his site. While it is painful for me, I believe that he handled the topic very appropriately. Since Martin did have a pre-paid contract with yahoo for the next five years, I am pleading with Yahoo to either republish the site, or allow the family to have the files so that we can find another way to carry out Martin's wishes."

While the original website is still unavailable, you can read the website as set up by the activist on martinmanley.org

May his soul RIP.
Mena

Reference: cnn.com, althouse.com and slate.com
 

KOLA BOOF SPITS FIRE AT KIMONA and opens up about her life

Dont understand Kola Boof? Here is the key or in her own words

WHAT I LOVE fiercely....in almost a "religious" way.....are Black Women.

And that love goes back to Sudan, the Nile River, to Nilotic culture, to the Charcoal original women who brought this whole world into being---women
who still exist in their natural form in their natural habitat. I love them first and foremost.

This is the KEY to understanding Kola Boof.

How I feel about you is based hugely on how you treat Black Women...and
especially how you acknowledge or fail to acknowledge the Authentic Black
Woman. AND when I was adopted & raised in USA by Black American women...Claudine Johnson, my Black American mother told me that this is what she liked most about me...that I was unwavering in my vision of black womanhood as being the ultimate representation of humanity and goodness.

I am a WOMANIST.

Egyptian-Sudanese-American novelist KOLA BOOF responds to Djimon Hounsou, Russell Simmons, Kimora Lee Simmons and the general public regarding her long standing sexual indiscretions with Mr. Hounsou.

WHAT HAPPENED KOLA?:

For four years (starting 3 weeks after Kimora Lee Simmons 'faux' West African wedding to actor Djimon Hounsou in the country of Benin)....I took part in an adulterous affair with Ms. Simmons' man.  I can honestly say that I slept with her husband more than she did the last four years.

It should also be noted that I had a sexual relationship with Mr. Hounsou many, many years prior to the 'marriage', before he even knew Ms. Simmons.

Djimon and Kimora of course have never been legally married. His only legal wife is a much older woman named Marie in France.  Marie basically bankrolled him during his youthful model days. Djimon also has an African wife given to him by his tribe in Benin (and a set of children by her).    

Today is June 14th, 2012. But a few months ago...my affair with Djimon caused so much strife within their coupling that Djimon Hounsou walked out on Ms. Simmons. (To be fair, financial issues also played a significant role, though I am not privy to information on that.  I just know that Kimora deeply wounded Djimon one day by calling him a 'broke nigga'--he told me and my adoptive Black American mother, Claudine Johnson, about it in late January).

I'm not sure what day exactly Djimon walked out for the final time (he had actually stayed gone from home a few times before the walk out)....but I do know that I was overjoyed...and not in the way you are expecting.

First of all....after Djimon left Kimora....I made it clear that I would never sleep with him again. Just as you saw published in my interview with the NY DAILY NEWS...I informed him that the only reason I had sex with him was to get revenge on Kimora.  With their breakup, I didn't (and don't) want it anymore.

And let me make this perfectly clear---I would never sleep with any other woman's husband just for recreation. Only Kimora's. I myself was married for 10 years to an absolutely wonderful man, a Black Man who treated me (and still treats me and our sons) like royalty.  So I identify with the wife's role just as strongly as Kimora knows the golddigging homewrecker role--don't forget she's wrecked many homes in her day.

This affair with Djimon was about revenge for me, Kola.  I liked picturing her face (she looks like that winking snail at Benihana Restaurant) just as Djimon made me climax.  It filled me with such cheer and joy to know that every time she kissed her husband--she would be kissing my privates.  And for four years that's exactly what Kimora kissed, my privates. But then again, being that Kimora is strongly bisexual...I'm sure that tid-bit isn't phasing her. 

Why did I want revenge on Kimora? That is coming up in this statement later. But for now, just be aware that I have NO REMORSE...none whatsoever...and that it was my intention to see Kimora's marriage fail.


The American media giving me this opportunity to publicly humiliate her is just icing on the cake.  I didn't expect this at all.

Be aware that despite Russell's denials (Russell Simmons, her mega-rich slimy turtle without a shell MOGUL ex-husband whose name she still uses instead of Djimon's)...and despite Kimora's and Djimon's denials that they have broken up...let me tell you....they HAVE!!

They are split; kaput; done. It doesn't matter how many Photo Ops they stage or how many walks to Chuck E. Cheese they take with their children so everyone can photograph them smiling, their marriage is over.
I'm sure people see me as shockingly evil...scary, jealous, disturbing...'what a bitch' people say. But in true Kola fashion, I don't give a shit.

I didn't want to give an official statement. I wanted to fade out of this unpleasant story--but after Djimon gave a statement calling me a liar, I felt
forced to leave my own version of events.
 
Please do not send me any emails or letters about "Karma" or "the lord."

As someone who watched her parents murdered in front of her at the age of 6 and faced down brain cancer with a wide spate of other tragedies bogging her entire life (I'm 42)--I am not one for superstition and emotionalism steeped in moralizing.

I have lived and survived a life that is literally unbelievable and irrevocably traumatizing.  I am a damaged person.

But I am also the most open and honest human being that I know.

When you call someone a liar, they have the right to tell their side of the story. To leave a record of their position, despite your prejudice and animosity against them.  Though the newspapers have written quite a bit about me "breaking up Kimora's Un-marriage"....I have not given a formal statement detailing the facts as I see them until now.

I am not doing this to keep shit going...I am doing this because Djimon Hounsou's scared *I have to protect my image* self gave a statement calling me a liar (though he never mentioned me by name, that is what he did).

Because Djimon gave a statement, I now have to give a detailed rebuttal.  If he had not talked about me, I would not be still talking about him and Kimora.

My hope is that after this Formal Statement, I will be done feuding with Djimon, Kimora and Russell Simmons and they will not mention my name or cause me to get back in the speeding lane with them. Regardless of how much power they think they have....I, the unknown entity, am more powerful than all of them.

There is a name for women like Kimora Lee Simmons---not ---that I'd use it outside of a kennel.

Which means I'm going to refrain from calling my dear sister the "B" word today. In honor of Kimora's brand of fake sisterhood and hyperbole Fabulosity...I'm going to try and be less vicious than I've typically been on Twitter.


FACT #1 

I did not contact the media to tell my involvement with Djimon---they contacted me. The NY Daily News, National Enquirer, People magazine and several others came looking for me.  The reason they came looking for me was because *Witnesses* at several Los Angeles area hotels, limousine services and other establishments responded to a story in the NY DAILY NEWS about Djimon walking out on Kimora over 'financial problems.'

Those witnesses told the media: "No you're wrong--he's got a girlfriend on the side."

(**Keep in mind that I also had other boyfriends around the country (the world actually), not just Djimon).

At that point, the NY DAILY NEWS began trying to track me down.  I did not contact them or in any way entice anyone into knowing my personal business with Djimon.

Once they did contact me, I still ignored them for a few days....until Princess Kimora pissed me off by having her "Spokeswoman" put my name in some kind of Press Release saying "We don't know her!" to the various news organizations.

It went on the local radio and I was so peeved that I decided to tell my side of the story.

Every newspaper involved can tell you that I did not originally want to speak on this story and that I originally ignored them until Kimora's Spokeswoman put my name in it.

EVIDENCE
When I finally did tell my story to the newspapers---they did not take my word for it.   The media doesn't work like that. They have to fact check in some manner in order to report something.

They interviewed other people about Djimon and myself....employees at hotels, limousine services and other establishments who TOLD THEM that they had seen me and Djimon together (with my skirt hiked up and me giggling) *sporadically* for the last 4 years.

I refuse to provide what few TEXT MESSAGES and voice mails that I have.

But the only reason my story was published in NY DAILY NEWS and other major newspapers is because they had significant witness information indicating beyond 'legal doubt' that I was telling the truth. So they published it.

I didn't want to hurt Djimon and I still don't. But by the same token--nobody's
going to hurt Kola either. 

SHOCKER 

After the "Kola Boof sex affair" angle was inserted into to previously published reports of Djimon and Kimora's breakup and the internet blew up with vitriolic hatred for me, "The Jump-off Home Wrecker"....and after Djimon denounced me as a liar;  I announced that I would be posting my own official statement.

I was served an unexpected shock...everyone wanted to stop me from delivering today's Official Statement...even to the point of offering money!

The Vice President of Djimon's birth country (Benin) contacted me...and Russell Simmons, Kimora's powerful ex-husband began harassing and smearing
my name.

I am including here now a small portion of what Mathurin Nago, the Vice President of Benin ordered me to do.


Vice President of Benin's message: 
Mathurin Nago:

"...Daughter, you and Djimon are both Africans. It's not right
for you to destroy your brother's legacy of hard works.  We do not have another world class movie star but Djimon Hounsou. He is the symbolic lion of the continent on screens across the world. You are a young lady and your place should be in support of your brothers. But you have attacked Wale, the
gifted musician for not showcasing African women in his videos and you now
disgrace yourself and Djimon with disclosures of bedroom vice. You must take such things to the grave Daughter and not make public disgrace of yourself and Africa. Your place is at your brother's feet, but you have been ill-raised by the Americans. It is their fault. I say with love that you are wrong to go forward with a public statement Thursday. If you have any respect for me like you say you do, I forbid you to tear down your brother and his hard works. Take these incidents of vice to the grave."  

As a Nilotic African woman, I cannot deny that I was very affected by Mr. Nago's
words. In fact, it still affects me. But I feel very strongly that I have a right
to give my press statement...and that my reputation and word is just as important as that of my brothers.


SEX WITH DJIMON

I was Djimon Hounsou's "hooni-hoosi-hole" for 4 years. His nickname for me
was "Tight Stuff." That is what he affectionately called me.

I liked our sexual encounters just as much as he did.  My thing was finding
places to fuck outdoors (naked in just heels; I have my own ranch & lake with woods)...*this always terrified Djimon but he did it anyway....and Djimon's thing was getting intense blow jobs; rough face-banging to the bottom of my throat to be exact.
Djimon told me that Kimora was not sexually pleasing for him.  He said she had been a real livewire before they got 'ritually married', but once they settled into
life at home, she became boring and lazy about pleasing him.

Not to be cruel...but in the marriage...Djimon was really just an unemployed actor whose best career move had been becoming a glorified assistant and Nanny to Kimora and Russell. 

He was not really the African King, but the ego-busted PROP for Kimora's
P.R. about her perfect life and family.  So yes, Kimora was very lazy
about taking care of Djimon's very ferocious sexual appetite. 

The one thing that Kimora DID DO that I was unable to do sexually---is provide
threesomes with other women.  She often treated him to one of her lesbian
"babes" and Djimon really liked that a lot and tried to pressure me to do it
but I refused. I told him that I would do it with two guys in the bed--but not two girls.  I have to be the only woman in a sex act.

Still, I was Djimon's "look forward to" piece.

Djimon told me that Kimora's vagina was like "bubblegum" and that his penis
kept falling out during intercourse.  He also complained of hygiene issues as
she is widely known to go without showering for days and lounge around in Sweat suits funky and oyster-smelling without a care.

I am vaginally infibulated an African ritual that has great meaning to African
men and to all men who like tight tiny pussy.

To be clear "vaginal infibulation" (which has been the horrific nightmare of my
entire life) is not Circumcision or Clitoris removal. *I have my clitoris. But 
at birth, they undo the vagina's inner muscles and reconfigure them to be
unnaturally tight---they then sew the vagina shut until your wedding day.

On that wedding day, they give the bride a set of rings...and the groom a
small razor to cut you open with.  You then spend about a month being de-virginized by the groom.

In my case, because my parents were murdered and UNICEF placed me in a
home with a Black American family--I lost my virginity to a Black American
"Boule Octoroon" from Howard University, my English tutor at age 17.

It took a month for Truce to fully penetrate me and have "stroking" intercourse with me.

Djimon and I were supposed to "cheat" just once...but I used my expertise
at sex to manipulate and control him.

We are both Sexual Athletes, but  Djimon is very innocent.  He's like that immigrant kid you show how to use the water fountain.  Just so naive and easy to manipulate. And to get back at Kimora, that is what I was doing.  In no time, Djimon told me that he was once again addicted to my pussy, my 44 double D all natural breasts and my ability to endure "face-banging" (we'd had a relationship years before).  He also loves tall women and I am taller than Kimora.  

Our affair began. 

We saw ourselves as 'buddies.' Nothing romantic; but very much like basketball buddies or something.  There is a definite affection.



WHY You Pissed At Kimora?


Kimora now claims I'm a delusional liar; an insecure "Pity" case.
But I've known her for years!
I taught Kimora how to play Spades and Bid Wiss (two games that my
Black American adoptive mother and I like to play all the time).

When I first knew Kimora, I really liked that she was tall like me and
I liked her energy.  She was a little 'superior' (thought she was better
than the people of the Black community she exploited & got famous
off).  But I originally liked her and wanted to be friends.

I thought (and still think) that she's beautiful, smart, funny and
very positive spirited.  But then

There is much here that I don't want to say. But Kimora has a thing
for "Pregnant women."  It's a fettish.  She likes to give head to women
once they've reached their fifth or sixth month of pregnancy. I couldn't
take an experience like that.  And that is all I'm going to say on that.

And I am in no way against Lesbians, Gays, Transgendered or any people
with what society considers "Alternative lifestyles" ---because I don't
consider those to be alternative lifestyles; to me they are natural and
normal expressions of human sexuality.  I love my lesbian sisters and in
no way am I saying that other women shouldn't enjoy that.


Many have claimed that comments I've made about Kimora on Twitter are
Racist against The Foon (Asians).  This is so not true. I love all Human beings
of every type.  Every type of person is welcome in my life and in my home.
But that doesn't mean I want to give up being Black and African to become
those other people. So when I talk about Kimora in terms of her benefitting
from Black people's colorism or when I make insults about her looks saying
for instance "the winking snail at Benihana"...I am not referencing her
race as an Asian woman.  I love all races.

I hate to talk about the "breakdown" that occurred between me and Kimora
years ago, because it was literally the most oxygen-less moment in all of the
suffering of my life. I get a heavy brick in my chest whenever I remember it.

I had to be operated on for Brain Cancer (and by the way--this is not a new
"story" as some people have claimed; at least 100 people in the Book Industry were privy to the fact that I had brain cancer, over 50 people came to visit
me at Loma Linda hospital; so this is in no way a new disclosure. People knew
I had brain cancer).

What can I tell you? It was a horrid experience. But nothing was more lethally
painful or dangerous than going into an operation with KIMORA telling me only
an hour before that she had "slept with my man" and that he (my man) would not be there for me when I woke up--because he was leaving the country with
her for a vacation.  Right before being whisked into BRAIN SURGERY!! 
There's a lot that I always leave out of this story.  There's a child involved and I
don't want to reveal that dimension.  But someday when I do die, that story will be coming out Kimora.  Just be glad that I'm nice enough to leave it out right now.  In fact, be glad this entire PRESS STATEMENT is so "mild" --because deep
down, I don't want to destroy Djimon's image career or destroy you in the public's eye; which would affect your children.

It's one thing to lose your fake marriage...but quite another to be exposed as
other less likeable things that could affect your life achievement and ability to
provide for your children.

Though I did you dirt by screwing Djimon all through your fake marriage; my dirt towards you is still much less severe.

I could have seriously died in that surgery or been completely brain damaged.
The TRAUMA of being told such cruel news right before the cutting could have left my children motherless.  And again, I'm not going to mention the other child--the one I miscarried and the circumstances surrounding that.

But let it be known that I have never forgiven Kimora.  And I never will.
She hurt my life with her selfishness and her inability to see me as more
than a 'Colored Side-kick' there to prop up her Princess role.

She is just...amazingly "unaware" of what she is and what she does to
people.  She neither cares nor remembers.

And I will never forgive you for that Kimora.
BABY PHAT

Try all you want to convince people that I'm some lunatic "jealous black
bitter chick" who just randomly chose a B-List movie actor and his FAB
celeb wife to target with made up stories and abuse.

Why didn't I pick a bigger star, Kimora, like Denzel Washington or 
Will Smith? I mean...why wouldn't I pick celebrities that could get me
some REAL publicity since you seem to think this scandal is making me
popular and beloved?

Wow. You are such the grand selfish American LADY. 

But right, you don't know Kola and all of this is happening for "no reason"
...by an award winning bestselling author *who you don't know* and is just
Black, ugly and jealous of you for being a Princess who's FAB.

Remember that day on Rodeo Drive when I slapped the living shit out of
you Kimora??  Remember how you ran across the street in your pink sweat
suit screaming, "Call the police...call the police!" because your face was
stinging like ACID was in it?

I am so glad I did that.  I think of that moment often and it gives me
great comfort knowing I slapped you like an Old Southern Black Church
woman would do it. 

You are so lucky that I don't want to destroy Djimon's career or cause
unnecessary damage to your children's lives by posting all the ammunition
that I could be posting. But it's not worth it. I wouldn't gain anything and it would hurt me to see Djimon and the kids hurt.  And right before Father's
Day, too. It's not worth it to me to hurt them that deeply.

But you, I don't care about.


THE SEXY PART OF THE BIBLE

You got so indignant Kimora last year when my novel "The Sexy Part of the Bible" came out and everyone kept telling you that the lead character
SeaHorse Twee was based on Djimon.

You got angry and called Djimon "Crispy ass" after my friend Bilal sent
Djimon an email saying if there's a movie made of the novel, Djimon would
have to play SeaHorse.

Well not only is the character of SeaHorse "inspired" by Djimon, Kimora.
But the fiery sex between Eternity and SeaHorse is basically the sex life of
me and your man.

And pages 138 through 141 of the book is all about your sorry ass Kimora.
It's about that little argument you and Djimon had over the baby's hair
texture and Djimon wishing for a nappier texture. Haha! Remember that?
Well Page 138 to 141 is for you.

Read it and see just what Djimon REALLY thinks of you.  I'm sure it's part
of why he walked out.

And I'm not even going to ignore the PLASTIC SURGERY you started having in
late March (because Djimon walked on you).  Others who saw you just a few
days ago in Vegas probably noticed your newly "gaunt" face--sucked of its
Subcutaenous fat and pitched with "makeshift" cheekbones.  Too bad you
waited for Big D to leave to lose weight and get the plastic surgery, but
it's so ....noticeable.  Girl, between you and Vivica Fox I just don't know.

So here we are with Russell Simmons and the legal papers you sent.
And Russell's threats and smear campaigns...attempting to stop me
from posting this Statement. 

Russell Simmon's Threats
Yesterday June 13th 2012, in an attempt to stop this Official Statement, Kimora Lee Simmons sent me legal documents that appeared to be a lawsuit for 'mental cruelty' (against her).
There was also a blue backed "lawyer threat" asking me to stop talking about the couple on Twitter or in public--or else. I told Kimora that I was not intimidated
and that would kick her ass in court.
This was followed by representatives of "DADDY RUSSELL" (Russell Simmons) trying to cut deals with me not to post a statement and to just "fade out."
Kimora suddenly wasn't sure if she wanted to sue me after all. Money and gifts were mentioned.

Before that, when this thing first broke, those same folks offering money and gifts had been hinting that Russell might do a "Suge Knight" on me and that I'd
better be afraid for my life.  I told them that I could arrange to have Russell killed as well and let's go for it--pit my Arab-African army against Russell's booty-bust'n EBT Card army.

Luckily, we became friendlier and pay-off offers replaced the macho murder
talk. 

Just hours ago, the NY DAILY NEWS published an article about the back forth
"deals offered" and Kimora's wishy-washy lawsuit plans:
 Link:  Kimora to sue Kola?

As a writer (and all writers are starving right now)...I could use the money.  But I have chosen instead to have my say...because though some people just won't believe my side of the story no matter what I do; I want it known that I didn't go out the door allowing Djimon to dismiss me as a liar.  I want it known that I stood my ground and spoke for myself, regardless of public favoritism for him and Kimora.  And that he got some cat scratches out of this.


KOLA'S MENTAL RECORDS

To convince the media and others that I'm "insane"....Russell Simmons had his tentacles to start sending out information about my history with Mental Institutions.

I was born Naima Bint Harith in Omdurman, Sudan.

At age 6, after I saw my parents murdered in front of me, I was sent to my Egyptian grandmother (my birth father's mother) Najet in Kom Ombo.  My grandmother got permission from the Mullahs to put me up for adoption because my skin was "too dark."  My grandmother Najet even informed me, a 6 year old child, that the Kolbookeks has spent 120 years breeding the Black out of our family--and she didn't want me bringing it back in.  She said she couldn't pass
me as the Dinka maid's child, because I had the exact face of the Kolbookek family--just dipped in cocoa.

I cannot tell you how devastating this was for me as a 6 year old.  By the time UNICEF found me a home with Black Americans in Washington D.C. (my loving adoptive parents Marvin & Claudine taking over); I was an extremely damaged little girl. From age 8 to 19, I became an "out patient" Psychiatric Care case.  I also wet the bed from age 8 to 19.

Russell Simmons made it a point to use the facts about me being treated by the Psychiatric Ward at John Hopkin's hospital from age 8 to 19 to make it look as though I'm mentally insane.

For many it has worked and there's nothing I can do. Despite my achievements as an author of 10 books published in 8 countries, people all over the internet keep referring only my "brain surgery" and history of mental childhood mental illness as factors in why I shouldn't express myself or have a say.  I think it's despicable and he's a "Turtle without a shell pillow-biting asswipe." 

OSAMA BIN LADEN
I never loved Osama...I survived Osama and was held by him against my will.

Somehow, the general public has never bothered to read up on our history. They just assume I was his **willing** girlfriend who loved him.

That's camel shit! 

They use terms like "Dating" (when there's no such thing as dating in the Arab world).  They don't realize that I originally denied being involved with him until the London Guardian outed me as his "mistress" and the U.S. government threatened me and my children with deportation.

I was later deemed to be "innocent" by the U.S. government when Prince Ruspoli (the owner of the estate where Osama Bin Laden kept me) told the U.S. government that I was there against my will as a 'sex slave.'

Amazingly, people don't bother to know what they're talking about and demonize as some loving willing partner of Osama's. I did not love him. I survived him.  I'm glad he's dead and I'm grateful for President Obama making the world a better place by killing Osama.

BEAUTY

People keep claiming that Kimora is more beautiful than me. They specifically say that I am "too dark" and  ugly...that I look like a man (I happen to love 'Trannies' though I'm not one)....and that no Black man would want me. But notice my home, purchased by a wonderful Black ex-husband, is bigger than Kimora's. I live in a $3 million dollar house on the ranch my ex-husband bought me and have my own private lake.

When it comes to beauty----Americans (and especially Black Americans) don't know what the hell they're talking about.  They think anyone who doesn't have light skin or look Eurocentric or Spaniard or Asian automatically goes on the
bottom.  They also think beauty is the only thing men want.

They forget that Prince Charles dumped beautiful Diana to marry Camilla
Parker Bowles.  They forget that President Clinton had an affair with a Fat
not all that glamorous Monica Lewinsky. They forget about Arnold Swarzenegar
and his frumpy stressed Maid.  Just a few examples of why beauty doesn't mean shit if a woman has other powers.



 So let the anonymous internet surfers with their broke McDonald-employed asses and biracial but still aint got a man selves call me "dark ugly man-looking ape"....whatever. The fact is, I came a very long way from a barefoot little orphan in war torn Sudan.  My challenges and illnesses have been great...but like a classic Black African woman...I made a way out of no way.  I triumphed.
I Kola Boof, am beautiful.

Reference: Kola goes to bed