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Saturday, 5 March 2011

..on a lighter note- Mena's Delightful Tips To Ensure The Perfect Marriage..:P *Recycled*


I. Love Your Enemy

From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said, “One month after I die I want you to marry Peter.”

“Peter! But he is your enemy!”

“Yes, I know that ! I’ve suffered all these years so let him suffer now.”


II. Always Wear Your Wedding Ring

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? ”

The other replied, “Yes I am, I married the wrong man.”


III. When In Doubt, Ask Dad

“Dad, I was away for a few days. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife telling her that I’d be home that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife was in another man’s arms. Why? Dad, tell me why!”

Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, “Maybe, Son, she didn’t get the fax.”



IV. Maintain the Same Service


A husband visited a marriage counselor and complaint, “When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it’s all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking.”

“Why complain?” said the counselor, “You’re still getting the same service!”


V Be Affectionate

A wife, one evening, drew her husband’s attention to the couple next door and said, “Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don’t you do that?”

“I would love to.”, replied the husband. “But I don’t know her well enough.”



VI Call Out His Name

A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her husband always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him.

“Take my advice,” said the neighbour, “and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o’clock in the morning, and from my bed I called out: “Is that you, Jim?” And that cured him.

“Cured him !” asked the woman, “but how?”

The neighbour said, “You see, his name is Bill.”

VII Use Your Mouth And Tongue

A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out onto the table.
She started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "You know that fur coat you promised me Harry?" she answered by saying, "I bought it with the insurance money!"
She then said, "Harry, remember that new car you promised me?" She answered again, "Well I bought that with the insurance money!"
Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said, "Harry, remember that blow job I promised you? Here it comes..."

VIII Give Thoughtful Praise both in Words and Deeds

'Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our golf balls into a field of cattle.

We went to look for them and while I was looking around I noticed one of the cows had something white in its rear end.'

'I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it - stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt.

Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!''

'I don't remember much after that'

I hope I have helped people out there, send my cheques in the mail.

Memena ;-)



P.S: Have a wondeful time weekending y'all. I am all sorts of excited as its countdown to my birthday. Yippee. LOL

Mena

12 comments:

iphyigbogurl said...

hahaha..
I always enjoy these your funny posts.
Have a great week!

Chizy K said...

lol
Bill ... jim
very funny
follow me http://chizys-spyware.blogspot.com

Wise Sage said...

Lol. great start to a dreary monday.
Thanks for getting me prepared {wink wink}

Nutty J. said...

Mena... this is incredible.

Laugh wan wound me for office

Myne Whitman said...

So so funny! And that picturr, hehehe..

Ibhade said...

lolllolollolllll...mena!

therealworld said...

Lol! Nice post Mena & thanks for dropping by at mine. I'm following u, u could 'retaliate':
http://therealworld-therealworld.blogspot.com/

Ginger said...

Naughty you!!!
Perfect marriage or divorce courts?

Mena UkodoisReady said...

Deep apologies for just responding. Take me as a waka in progress x

@ Iphyigbogurl: thanks my sis lol

@Chizy K: lol. already done that taaay

@ Wise Sage: gee thanks my dear. Pls prepare well oh.lol

@ Nutty J: if dat ikebe no wound people for office, this blog no go fit. I no fit shout

@ Myne: picture of a loving couple, you wan try?

@Ibhade: no be small thing.lol

@ the real world: not only following you, I left comments na.lol

@ Ginger: Mena just offered a public service anouncement and thats it oh, chikena.lolxx

THANKS ALL :)

Jenn said...

I got a kick out of these!! Thanks so much for sharing!!

Cheers, Jenn
http://www.wine-n-chat.com

Kathy said...

LOL, funny!
Kathy
http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com

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