*Ahem*....... candy thoughts, caramel dreams and fluffy 'tales'

Ok the title is a decoy, its a code to 'the main the main' gist. The reason for the code is because I am trying to divert the attention of a particular couple and I know for a fact that they despise phrases I used in the title so *hopefully* they will skip this blog. Sod it, I am terrible at codes sef.

Basically someone needs your thoughts, however profound, just help them I don talk talk tire..

Okay so Mena* just met her first boyfriend Ukodo* recently. They were both each others first love long long ago (about a decade) and happen to come across each others path again through social networking sites. They are both single as in 'never been married and have no children' kind of single

Now Ukodo is inviting Mena to be his house guest. Note: * They live in different continents * Mena is single and asks Ukodo about his status, Ukodo has never been married nor has kids, but his status used to be 'engaged to Fluffy*. This has been removed. Mena agreed to be his guest but is confused as to how she should act with him, what to pack in her luggage, what social activities they should do together etc..

1. Should she act like he is toasting her afresh, or act like just a friend, or continue from wherever they stopped?

2. Will your answer be the same if its Ukodo that is Mena's houseguest? over to you friends, SOMEONE IS PANICKING AS ITS KICKING OFF THIS WEEK WE DEY ENTER SO!!

Thanks and have a fun-filled week
Me'mena

50 Ways to Bless Others + 15 motivational truths

Good day all :)) How are you? I hope very well!

Mamuje's thoughts as well as Nutty's thoughts have partly inspired this blog.
So here is the rule, for the 50 ways bit of the post, count and tell me your score, I know most of the suggestions are unfamiliar to our culture but lets just have fun with it) Will let you know mine at the bottom of the note.no cheating o! nutty J :P! ehen! xx

Ever think your life is unremarkable? It is not always the big things that create the largest impact in our lives, and the lives of others. Here are 50 ways to bless someone else. In the process of blessing others, you'll find that you are blessed as well. Choose one to do today and start on the path to a remarkable life!


50 Ways to Bless Others

Pay for the meal of the car behind you at the fast food drive through
Volunteer to read to children at your local library
Bring a family meal to a sick friend
Serve the family! (and if you can stay for clean up, that's a plus!)
Leave an extra large tip for a waiter or waitress
Mow your neighbor's yard
Or shovel it, depending on the season!
Bring some goodies to share at work
Send a thank you note to your child's teacher
Drive an elderly or handicapped person to the gorcery store.
Leave a bouquet of flowers on someone's doorstep
Pay for a soldier's mealPick up litter
Offer to help a parent load their groceries in their car while they load up their kids
Offer a genuine compliment to a stranger
Give up your seat for someone
Give up that great parking space!
Clean up the dishes in the breakroom at work
Give your pizza delivery guy a gas card with his tip
Host a kids movie night and give the parents some much needed time slone together
Send a thank you note to your local police office
Leave your magazines at a doctor's office once you've read them
Cut out a comic strip or article of interest for a friend
Visit your local animal shelter and offer to walk some of the dogs
Hold the door open or someone
Smile and thank a cashier
Pay for someone's toll
Donate your gently used professional clothes to an orgaization that helps people get back into the workforce
Listen to someone who is going through a tough time
Give an inspiring book to a friend in need
Share your umbrella with someone who doesn't have one
Leave enough change in the vending machine for the next person to get a snack
Maintain waterbowls and birdeed for migrating birds
Surprise your spouse with breakfast in bed
Write a note to a family member telling them why they are special
Have a food or clothing drive for a local shelter
Donate blood
Print an inspiring story and post it on your work bulletin board
Buy books for a day care center
Donate art supplies you no loner use to a classroom
Volunteer at a senior center
Fill your spouse's car with fuel
Donate your cut hair to Locks of Love
Cut coupons and leave them by the items at the store
Leave comments on a blog page you like
Drop off a toy or game at the hospital
Give your friends photos you have taken that include them
Invite someone who lives alone over for dinner
Put a quarter in an expired parking meter
Tell someone special in your life that you love them.
Give your significant other foot rub, with no strings attached

Scored 19, how about you?:))

15 things you probably never knew or thought about....

1. At least five people in this world love you so much they would die for you.
2. At least fifteen people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.


5. Every night, someone thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. If not for you, someone may not be living.
8. You are special and unique.
9. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.
12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.
13. Always remember the compliments you recieved. Forget the rude remarks.
14. Always tell soemone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.
15. If you have a great friend, take time to let them know that they are great

WHY WOMEN CHEAT by Michelle Langley

I pasted an article on 'Why men cheat', sometime back and am pleased to inform you that the research has finally figured out why women also cheat.

Enjoy :)

Currently, women are initiating 70 - 75% of all divorces

Later, through my own research, I discovered that what I was experiencing was quite normal. In fact, women are the most likely to divorce in their late twenties and thirties after an average of 4 years of marriage. During this time, it's quite common for women to experience a pre-midlife crisis, which is similar to the male midlife crisis, only with an important difference - a difference that can actually make women more likely to cheat than men.


The "stages" that women often experience during the course of their long-term relationships
Several years into my research I was able to identify distinctive patterns and behaviors in the women I interviewed. I categorized these into four separate “stages” that women often experience during the course of their long-term relationships. The stages begin with a loss of sexual desire.



Stage 1

Women at Stage 1 feel as though something is missing in their lives. They have all the things that they wanted—a home, a family, a great husband—but they feel they should be happier. Over time, many women in this stage begin to lose interest in sex. It is not uncommon for them to spend a great deal of energy trying to avoid physical contact with their husbands because they fear it might lead to a sexual encounter. They frequently complain of physical ailments to avoid having sex and often try to avoid going to bed at the same time as their husbands. They view sex as a job, not unlike doing the dishes or going to the grocery store. Some women in Stage 1 claim they feel violated when their husbands touch them. Their bodies freeze up and they feel tightness in their chest and/or a sick feeling in their stomach. The majority of women in Stage 1 feel as though there is something wrong with them, that they are in some way defective. They are also fearful that their disinterest in sex will cause their husbands to cheat, or worse yet, leave them.



Stage 2

Women at Stage 2 experience reawakened desire stimulated by an encounter outside the marital relationship. Whether these encounters with a "new" man involves sex or remain platonic, women will typically give a tremendous amount of emotional significance to these encounters.
Many women in this stage haven't felt any sexual desire for a long time. Many experience tremendous guilt and regret, regardless of whether their new relationships are sexual, merely emotional, or both. Most begin to experience what could be termed an identity crisis—even those who try to put the experience behind them. Constant reminders are everywhere. They feel guilt when the topic of infidelity arises, whether in the media, in conversations with family and friends, or at home with their husbands. Women in this stage can no longer express their prior disdain for infidelity without feeling like a hypocrite. They feel as though they have lost a part of themselves. Reflecting society’s belief that women are either “good” or “bad,” women will question their “good girl” status and feel that they might not be deserving of their husbands. Many will try to overcome feelings of guilt by becoming more attentive toward and appreciative of their husbands. However, over time many women will move from appreciation to justification. In order to justify their continued desire for other men, women will begin to attribute these desires to needs that are not being met in their marriage, or to their husband’s past behavior. Many women will become negative and sarcastic when speaking of their husbands and their marriages and it is not uncommon for an extramarital affair to follow.



Stage 3

Women at Stage 3 are involved in affairs, ending affairs, or contemplating divorce. Women who are having affairs experience feelings unlike anything they have experienced before. They feel “alive” again and many believe they have found their soul mates. These women are experiencing feelings associated with a chemically altered state, or what is typically referred to as being in love.
These women are also typically in tremendous pain, the pain of choosing between their husbands and their new love interests. They typically believe that what they are doing is wrong and unfair to their husbands, but yet are unable to end their affairs. Many often try several times. Prior to meeting with their lovers, they will vow that it will be the last time, but they are unable to stick with their decisions.
Unable to end their extramarital relationships, women at Stage 3 conclude that their lovers are soul mates because they are unaware that they have become addicted to the high caused by chemicals released during the initial stages of a relationship. Many live in a state of limbo for years. “Should I stay married or should I get a divorce?” this is the question continuously on the minds of women at Stage 3 - it is also common for women at this stage to attempt to initiate a separation. In most cases, husbands of women at Stage 3, will launch futile attempts to make their wives happy by being more attentive, spending more time at home and helping out around the house. Regardless of women’s past and present complaints, the last thing women at Stage 3 want, is to spend more time with their husbands.
The reason many women will give for their desire to separate is a “search for self.” They convince their husbands that they might be able to save their marriage if they can just have time to themselves. They tell their husbands that time apart is the only hope of improving their current situation. Women at this stage want to free themselves of the restrictions of marriage and spend more time with their lovers. Most think that eventually their confusion will disappear. They think they will eventually know with certainty whether they want to stay married or get divorced and be with their lovers. Separation allows women at this stage, to enjoy the high they experience with their lovers without giving up the security of their marriages. Husbands of Stage 3 women are often unaware that their wives are having affairs. Their lack of suspicion is typically due to their wife’s disinterest in sex and in their belief that their wife is a “good girl.”
Women at Stage 3 may also be experiencing the ending of an extramarital affair, and the ending may not have been their decision. They may have been involved with single men who either lost interest because the relationship could not progress or who became attracted to another women who was single. Women whose affairs are ending often experience extreme grief. They may become deeply depressed and express tremendous anger toward their husbands. They are typically unaware that they are experiencing chemical withdrawal due to sudden changes in their brain chemistry. As a result, many will feel that they have missed their chance at happiness due to their indecisiveness.
Believing they have become more aware of what they want and need from a mate, women at this stage will often place the utmost importance on finding a "new" relationship that will give them the feeling they experienced in their affairs. A new relationship with a new partner will also represent a clean slate, a chance for these women to regain their “good girl” status. Some women will search for new partners during their separations. Others will return to their marriages, but not emotionally and still continue to search. Some women will resume sporadic sexual relations with their husbands in an effort to safeguard their marriage until they make a decision. Although they are often not sexually attracted to their husbands, desire is temporarily rekindled when they suspect their husbands are unfaithful, are contemplating infidelity, or when their husbands show signs of moving on.



Stage 4
The women in stage four included those who chose to stay married and continue their affairs and those who chose to divorce. Some of the women who continued their affairs stated that marital sex was improved by maintaining the extramarital relationship. Some thought the lover was a soul mate, but for one reason or another did not leave their husband and did not feel torn between the two. Others realized that their feelings were intensified by not sharing day-to-day living arrangements with their lover. Almost all of the women in this latter category were having affairs with married men. They believed their affairs could continue indefinitely without disrupting either partner’s primary relationship.
The women who chose divorce and were in the beginning stages of a new relationship typically expressed relief at having finally made a decision and reported feeling normal again. Many of the divorced women who had remarried and were several years into their new marriages seemed somewhat reluctant to talk about the specifics of their past experiences. However, they did mention feelings of guilt and regret for having hurt their children and ex-spouses only to find themselves experiencing similar feelings in the new relationship.


Female infidelity will not only continue to be extremely common but it will also continue to be on the rise

Women are cheating and relationships are ending because men and women lack necessary information. Today's relationship problems are not only solvable, but many can be easily solved ─ once you understand what the real problem is. The information in Women's Infidelity should be common knowledge to couples, both married and unmarried, and to dating males and females.

Michelle Langley, author of Women's Infidelity.
Link to Source


For me, whilst I think the writer makes some valid points..for a western ultral liberal culture however in more conservative society, the elements are either far less or do not exist. Take my culture for instance, it is believed that if a woman sleeps with another man, her children and her husband will die one after the other. Yes there is no scientific basis for this 'belief' but do not underestimate the power of superstition and folklore handed from generation to generation to keep women in check.
What do you think? :)

I DON'T LIKE BLACK PEOPLE, says South African novelist

An award-winning writer has provoked fierce debate in South Africa after candidly saying that she does not like black people.

Annelie Botes, a leading Afrikaner novelist, said she would invite a white, coloured (mixed race) or an Indian man in for a drink, but would "feel threatened by a black man".

The comments, quoted in South African newspapers, have caused a storm in a country still sensitive about race relations 16 years after the end of apartheid. Botes claims she has received 1,000 supportive emails but there was also widespread condemnation of her views.

The row began when Rapport, an Afrikaans paper, asked her to name people she does not like. Her reply: "Black people." Soon after, she was sacked as a columnist for another newspaper.

Then South Africa's Mail & Guardian contacted the author, whom it says is probably the most popular contemporary female writer in Afrikaans, the language of the descendents of Dutch and other European settler farmers. Botes recently won the Afrikaans category of the K Sello Duiker Memorial Literary award for her novel, Thula-thula, which tackles child abuse and incest.

The 53-year-old stood by her original comments. "I'm scared," she told the paper. "In my daily life there's no one else that I feel threatened by except black people. If a courier comes to my door and he's white, coloured or Indian, I'd have no problem inviting him in for a glass of water. But I would feel threatened by a black man."

She added that two years ago her laptop, containing a manuscript, was stolen while she was asleep and a neighbour was murdered. "You tell me what the face of crime is in South Africa. If you hear the window shatter and confront the perpetrator, who do you expect that crook to be?"

Asked about challenging racial stereotypes, she replied: "I don't have the means to get my head around that of a black man. I can't understand that.

"As a writer, I write what I see, what I experience and put it into context. It isn't my job to be politically correct."

Botes also said she would never appoint a black gardener. She is planning to emigrate to Britain, where her children already live, as soon her husband goes on a pension.

She added: "Here in Port Elizabeth, I wouldn't go to a deserted beach alone. It's simply too dangerous. The English villages where my kids live don't even have streetlights and I would walk there in the middle of the night without fear."Her interview triggered dozens of comments on the Mail & Guardian's website, including one claiming to be one from Botes herself.

The article had chosen to "emphasise the negative", she wrote, and contained "nothing about my anger regarding the government closing down thousands of farm schools in remote areas and thus depriving black children from an education.

"Nothing about how I as scribe of a village church stood up against the white elders because they treated the church cleaner like scum, and how I lost my job because of my persistent view. Nothing about how I admitted that whites committed unthinkable monstrosities against blacks under the old regime. Or about my acknowledgement that the old government were thieves too. Or how we as whites tend to humiliate "incompetent" blacks at cash points. Or about me having no problem sharing my table and toilet with a black person."

But there was criticism from other readers:

Fungayi Dzvinyangoma posted: "Someone needs to tell this bigoted woman that there are a lot of black people in England. However, if you get burgled in Britain the face is most likely to be white. She seems to forget the history of South Africa so quickly which could explain why the blacks have to resort to criminality. She benefited from state criminality for decades."

There was support for Botes, however, from a user called George S. "I think the lady should be applauded for her courage in speaking out instead of being vilified. Perhaps she only expresses fears that many whites harbour. Perhaps she generalised this issue but then I say these things work both ways."

Despite Nelson Mandela's efforts at reconciliation, racial tensions in South Africa surfaced earlier this year when white supremacist Eugene Terre'Blanche http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/eugene-terre-blanche was hacked to death in his bed, allegedly by black workers on his farm. But the majority of crime victims are poor and black. Last week Brandon Huntley, a South African who argued that whites are targeted by black criminals, lost his refugee status in Canada and now faces a new hearing.

Marga Collings, a manager at Botes's publisher NB, said today: "We believe that all our authors are entitled to their own views.

"In this case, the publisher does not share the author's view."

Botes herself declined to give further interviews. "I regret to say: No further comments," she wrote in an email to the Guardian.

Article: I don't like black people, says South African novelist


Other reactions

Such racism has no place in modern South Africa- Zukiswa Wanner

I visited the town of Port Elizabeth in South Africa last week for a literacy campaign that I am part of; I was to be there for the whole weekend. I was with another writer – a white woman, Fiona Snyckers. She was driving our car. On the day I arrived, I went to two schools in areas referred to in South African lingo as "townships". In Zwide and later in New Brighton, we met many friendly people. Not once did we feel threatened. Indeed, when we got lost and asked someone for directions, they decided to drive in front of us to show us where we should go. We later joked that perhaps there was a reason Port Elizabeth was referred to as "the friendly city." And this was in the townships, whose sole inhabitants are black people.

It was therefore a bit of a surprise to me when I picked up the Mail & Guardian on Friday to read writer Annelie Botes's opinion: she does not feel safe in Port Elizabeth. When asked by Rapport newspaper whom she didn't like, she paused and said: "Black people."

Sadly, Botes decides to see the black person as the Invisible Man. Part of this is that she is one of the last remnants of white South Africans who have remained in the nation, and yet choose not to cross the boundary to get to know the other side. Reconciliation to them continues to be about black people knowing how to speak English or Afrikaans properly, but never about trying to care to learn the language or culture of the black people who make up the majority of the nation's citizens. To her, the face of crime in South Africa is going to be black. Well, black people make up more than 80% of this country's citizens.

But here is a story of true crime as true as your stolen laptop or your neighbour's murder. I live in a working-class white neighbourhood in Johannesburg. Two years ago, my neighbour had her bag snatched while waiting for her husband to open the door. She screamed, and my other neighbours of all races rushed to her rescue and caught the man in the hockey field down from my flat. The victim of the crime in this instance was a black woman. The perpetrator was a white man. I, however, don't go about thinking that every white person is going to rob me because I am a black woman. I get to know my neighbours. And those I like I get on with and those I don't, I discard. But I don't discard all my neighbours because of their race. I would miss out on many a wonderful experience otherwise.

When I first read Annelie Botes's article, I seriously thought of buying her a copy of Kevin Bloom's Ways of Staying. But after much thought, I have decided I am not going to. I have decided that I want her and all people who walk around with the cancer that is racism, whether they are black or white, to leave this country so the rest of us who love South Africa and want to make the best of it can get on with the job.

I hope she surrenders our passport, while she is at it.

Article: Annelie Botes's ugly racism

Source: Guardian.co.uk

It's MY BIRTHDAY tomorrow....how would it have been if I wasnt born?

Yes, I said it, sometimes I wish I hadnt been born. God forgive me, but I cant help it. Look I am being honest, open and vulnerable today and I can moan all I want.

Its just that there is so much pressure just being alive in today's world. Take for instance childhood:
'You must come between 1st and 5th'

and the disappointment in the times you dont. Or take for instance being the first child of your parents;

'you must set a good example for your younger ones'.

Ah well, being that when I fall, I fall spectacularly, you can imagine the pressure.
And all these are mentioned, resounded, announced every year on March 12th my birthday so much so I am forced to contemplate what if I was not born?

Anyway I am getting older tomorrow, (March 12) and my sister is forcing us to celebrate here , come and join us from 11pm if you want. I can already imagine the prayers, calls, texts, emails and facebook comments. I know its going to be about why I REFUSED to get married, as if dem dey refuse? Enjoy this old note and hopefully you will understand what I mean.


GREETINGS Revered audience. Welcome to the ramblings of an overactive mind!

There are several actions that are universally accepted to be 'abominations'. If we say it is the act of paedophilia for the western world, Eating a cow in some parts of india, blood brother marrying blood sister for some parts of Africa and being a single lady of a 'certain' age in Nigeria. Yes if you are single and matured, you are regarded as wrong, ..then..if you are single, matured and an extrovert, heck you are the devils wife! You just must marry regardless of what you feel about it! perhaps this is the result of some evolutionary thinking..death and misery for anyone who doesn't seem to match up to a certain culture's expectations..Welcome to my rant.

My relationship with chieftess is bittersweet. Chieftess is probably my best example of an entreprenuer, always ready to take risks, extremely confident, can do attitude, a go getter, a leader really. In as much as people that take the extra risk get the huge profit that may come with it..there is the little matter of a loss! Take for example this day when her mobile phone buzzed in with a text that she won a million bucks. She barged into my room and told me to go to their website. From the middle of my snooze I utter it is 419, she snaps that it isnt and asked me to hurry up, so hurry up I did. Went to the website, eneterd her name, address, phone number, account number and so on, pressed enter, stupid website asked for her details again, this time asking for an atm number and pin. I gave her the I told you so look, while she, naturally puts all the blame on me, stating, "you know I dont know anything about lottery and fraud". OH SO I KNOW ABI?? I scream, er, in my mind of course.Hope you get the picture now, she is the most loving, generous to a fault and my constant lifecoach/motivator..sadly..she could be the opposite as well.! Hold on one second and allow me to explain.

Imagine this scenario: Chieftess and I went to the cornershop to get a travel card for our journey, when..out of the blues, she tells the shop assistant that I REFUSE to get married. Needless to say I have been the butt of the lady's jokes.
think am over reacting? think again..

When I used to work in Lagos, I lived with my chief and chieftess and this was how our relationship went. I get up by 5am, just to beat the traffic to work, chieftess steps into my room or the shower and asks when will you get married? I come back from work, hassled due to the stress of the day, looking forward tio a relaxing evening, who is by the garage? Chieftess packed with her question. You really should get married. Then chief sends me out on one of his millions of errands, chieftess joins me in the car, I drive she talks.. and talks, the whole premise of the talk, is my refusal to get married!

Do I reply? not really, with chieftess am not as talkative or creative as I normally am. I am melancholic, almost mute, definitely passive..passive aggressive i mean.

Then you can imagine my consternation, when chieftesses female relations come around, I am not sure how this happens but it seems that in their eyes, I am a blind, mute toddler!
'Ehn Mena, see how big you have grown, oya turn around'... just to keep the peace, I wear a pained smile and turn around..
'Ha, see your *kebe, am sure you have male admirers..'
'Pscheiuw', the very familiar refrain from chieftess is spoken.. 'Mena refused to marry ooo, speak to her for me ooo.'
"Efe why now?
"why are you being selective"
I hope you note that they have not given me a second to reply..
"Time waits for no one o, especially for ladies, all my daughters are in their husband house" etc etc and so on!

Sometimes my anger get the best of me and I snap back.

There was this week chieftess really got under my skin. She had got a new job, basically to inspect my outfit and make up, just before I leave the house, regardless of where I am going, then inspect it when I come back in, in her explanation 'you never know o, that is how you will meet 'the one' looking like a masquerade'
Cheiftess, dont you think the one is the one, regardless of beauty??
I of course say this in my head...

Like I was saying, she did that consistently, but added a new twist to it.

One fateful day, I had awful cramps so was not in a good mood. Chieftess came in from one of her social gatherings, all breathless..
' I spoke to Madame OTT today'.
'Thats nice how is she?' my faint attempt at polite conversation.
'Ah she said you needed deliverance!'
*cue in uncomfortable silence*
"Did you hear me, she said she knows of this place that they performed reliable deliverance activities so we will be going there"

My

blood

boiled

!!

boiling blood: "Did you say deliverance?"

Chieftess: "Yes oh, Mrs X, Y and Z even advised me to do it".

I imagined the scenario... Yes it was a detailed scenario..., all in my head, but close to the truth..

At her fellowship meeting the following conversation 'might' have taken place.

" Madame ott, Mena refused to marry"
"How old is she?" ..
and when she hears my age, she reacts dramatically, shaking her head. This must have been her reply.."ehen, its the spirit of delayed marriage, some girls are married to spiritual husbands"

trust chieftess to swallow it, hook, line and sinker.

"Chineke meh, really? Olorun ooo, what can I do? chei what can she do? haaaaa!"

At this point Madame OTT summons Madame X,Y,Z. " come and hear oo, I cant solve this alone".
"Really, what happened, is chieftess fine?" They all chime in..
"She is fine, its Mena, Mena has a spiritual husband thats why she is anti marriage"
"Anti marriage ke? okkk, that should be because someone is impersonating her, borrowing her face so men cant see her properly with their spiritual eyes". Mrs Y explains
"Ezeokwu!! Ha, borrowed her face?" says chieftess, getting hysterical now
"Yes" all the self proclaimed prophetesses agree. "She needs deliverance."

In my head, that was how it came about. I was seeing red so I just had to snap:
" Tell Madame ott that I think she also needs deliverance as she has refused to have a successful marriage!"
(Mrs OTT: Her best friend adviced her about the philandering manner of her husband, Alhaji OTT...The advice was so good, that this so called friend collected her husband and married him..as in traditional, registry and white. i.e he abandoned Mrs ott and her 10 kids!)
"I am sure you spoke to Mrs xyz? Tell them that they need deliverance as well. Their family is not perfect either". I continued, blood blowing, eyes flashing..
(Mrs X's had three married daughters, married for gazillion years, no children from any of them yet)
(All Mrs Y's children were borderline druggies.)
(As for Mrs Z; One of her sons Mr Z has been married 3 times, and 3 times the ladies took off. While her daughter Miss Z was abandoned on her wedding day, bros just did not show up!! Note am not judging them, how can I? But isnt it ironic that the same people who gossip about you then claim to advise you, are usually quite miserable themselves? People in glass houses should not throw stones. gbam! )

"Why are you speaking like this" asked a curious chieftess
"Because they dont know me or what I have been through, why should they immediately think the worst of me? Chieftess, by highlighting what naija people will term as their 'faults', I am trying to make you understand that life is not as perfect for everyone. They are so happy gossiping and then 'advising you' about me, that they have not taken the time to focus on their own issues, i.e mind their own business. Yes you got married early and to a responsible person but it doesnt always work like that. And if we keep treating people as if there is something evil about them just because they dont meet our personal expectations, not only do we destroy their self esteem, we set ourselves up to be exploited by cunning people who bring in all sorts of 'solutions'"

'Are you saying you wont come? Dont worry i will go on your behalf'. Concluded chieftess, she obviously did not take in a word I said.

Chieftess set off to the deliverance centre, she had barely walked in, when pastor shylock took one look at her and put her on dry fasting. Yep she came back to tell me.

"hmm, see people praying, some even moved into the compund, others were crying " He just put me on fasting without asking why I came".

Unable to resist rolling my eyes, "how can he do that, he didnt even ask after your health.."
Chieftess cuts in with.. "He immediately took offerings"

My sarcasm knew no bounds, 'Oh so now you are paying for your deliverance? even though the reason for the deliverance and the type of deliverance has not been expressed?? " Remember when you were 419ed at Balogun Market?

BALOGUN MARKET

It was yuletide season and chieftess went to the market to get some items. Soon enough, some prophet came and spoke to her. 'Madam, something serious is going to happen to one of your relations.
'Really? Who are you and what do you mean'
"My name is shepherd shogologobanboje and I am just telling you in advance..its a girl.. Well her friends are planning on doing something very bad to her".
By now governess is very interested
Chieftess:"What? Is this true?"
Shogologo:"Yes I have seen it"
Chieftess: "What can I do"
Shogologo: "I will tell you, if you have x amt, I will apply this cream on it, and that evil action will backfire..".

When Chieftess eventually told me about the incident
I
was
livid
!!

Then I reminded her of the Amuwo incident...

AMUWO ODOFIN

Chieftess was an executive in a ladies social association. Naturally when a member starts something, and speaks positively about it,almost everyone will do the same. So it was that Chairlady Q, said she has seen a prayer warrior in amuwo area, and that the woman is powerful. Chieftess swallowed the story, hook line and sinker and soon enough convinced all of us to go to the woman for her services.
IF IT WAS JUST PRAYERS I WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN AS SKEPTICAL AS I WAS!!
The lady wore an all white outfit, her flat had a rancid smell and she could hardly move/breathe (she was borderline obese) Soon enough the prayers began. In the middle of the prayers she came to each one of us to tell us our spiritual issues. I will only speak of my own experience. The lady came to me and prayed for me, I was on my knees, she was standing and began to 'lay hands' on my head, then she applied pressure on her hands, I remained kneeling, she applied even more pressure, my neck ached, but i remain on my knees! She finished the prayers for each of us and asked us to take a seat. She told us all our problems. OBVIOUSLY EVERY BODY JUST HAD TO HAVE A SPIRITUAL PROBLEM! Like I said earlier, i will stick to my own 'spiro issues!'. She said I has a huge black snake feeding from my back, she said in other to get rid of the snake, I had to perform a white fasting. Apparently white fasting means 6 to 6 and break with white foods like rice, bread etc. oh and she said we had to drop x amount of money so she can do her part in breaking all the issues that she saw.
THAT
WAS
WHEN
MY
SCEPTISM
BECAME
FULL BLOWN
!!

Anyways back to my 'deliverance' story. Chieftess soon came round to my way of thinking. *But that was for a short time, I will continue in part 2 of the note*
Remember when I wrote about Chief and our health scare? Well my best friend since my MBA, I will call her chinese, said she was going to buy some things to cheer chief up and to apologise for not being with me. So I thought I should let chief know about it

Me: Chief, chinese wants to get some gifts for you, she said...
Chief *cuts in*: Chinese? congrats! I dont mind a chinese man for an inlaw..

My reply came in absolute sarcasm
' Its not yet legal for a woman to marry a lady in Britain nor in Nigeria, (same sex marriage) but dont fret, when it becomes legal I will marry her!!

Happy belated Birthday from me, to my dearest sister (March 10)

Thanks for reading
Mena

WARNING SIGNS OF AN ABUSER. (One of those info you need to pass on)

Hello


I decided to post about this because of a childhood friend who is experiencing violence in her home. She actually kept this fact hidden, until her hubby decided to beat her up at HER WORKPLACE! So she couldnt hide it from anyone anymore. Out of respect to her, I cant publish more.Yes, they are still together, you know Nigeria na, the pressure to be mrs somebody sometimes transcends self preservation!

Before an abuser starts physically assaulting his victim, he typically demonstrates his abusive tactics through certain behaviors. The following are five major warning signs and some common examples:



Charm
Abusers can be very charming. In the beginning, they may seem to be Prince Charming or a Knight in Shining Armor. He can be very engaging, thoughtful, considerate and charismatic. He may use that charm to gain very personal information about her. He will use that information later to his advantage.

For example; he will ask if she has ever been abused by anyone. If she says, "yes", he will act outraged that anyone could treat a woman that way. Then when he becomes abusive, he will tell her no one will believe her because she said that before and it must be her fault or two people would not have hit her.

Another example; he may find out she experimented with drugs in her past. He will then threaten that if she tells anyone about the abuse he will report her as a drug abuser and she will lose her children. The threat to take away her children is one of the most common threats abusers use to maintain power and control over their victims.

Isolation
Abusers isolate their victims geographically and socially. Geographic isolation includes moving the victim from her friends, family and support system (often hundreds of miles); moving frequently in the same area and/or relocating to a rural area.

Social isolation usually begins with wanting the woman to spend time with him and not her family, friends or co-workers. He will then slowly isolate her from any person who is a support to her. He dictates whom she can talk to; he tells her she cannot have contact with her friends or family.

Jealousy
Jealousy is a tool abusers use to control the victim. He constantly accuses her of having affairs. If she goes to the grocery store, he accuses her of having an affair with the grocery clerk. If she goes to the bank, he accuses her of having an affair with the bank teller. Abusers routinely call their victims whores or sluts.

Emotional Abuse
The goal of emotional abuse is to destroy the victim's self-esteem. He blames her for his violence, puts her down, calls her names and makes threats against her. Over time, she no longer believes she deserves to be treated with respect and she blames herself for his violence. For some survivors of domestic violence, the emotional abuse may be more difficult to heal from than the physical abuse.

Control
Abusers are very controlled and very controlling people. In time, the abuser will control every aspect of the victim's life: where she goes, how she wears her hair, what clothes she wears, whom she talks to. He will control the money and access to money. Abusers are also very controlled people. While they appear to go into a rage or be out of control we know they are very much in control of their behavior.

The following are the reasons we know his behaviors are not about anger and rage:

He does not batter other individuals - the boss who does not give him time off or the gas station attendant that spills gas down the side of his car. He waits until there are no witnesses and abuses the person he says he loves.

If you ask an abused woman, "can he stop when the phone rings or the police come to the door?" She will say "yes". Most often when the police show up, he is looking calm, cool and collected and she is the one who may look hysterical. If he were truly "out of control" he would not be able to stop himself when it is to his advantage to do so.

The abuser very often escalates from pushing and shoving to hitting in places where the bruises and marks will not show. If he were "out of control" or "in a rage" he would not be able to direct or limit where his kicks or punches land.



Source: Mid-Valley Women's Crisis Service

Interesting statistics on Domestic Violence in U.S

Females are more likely than males to experience nonfatal intimate partner violence.
On average between 2001 and 2005, nonfatal intimate partner victimizations represented —
• 22% of nonfatal violent victimizations against females age 12 or older
• 4% of nonfatal violent victimizations against males age 12 or older

Between 2004 and 2005, rates of intimate partner violence remained stable for —
• white females at 3.1 per 1,000 persons age 12 or older
• black females at 4.6 per 1,000 persons age 12 or older
• white males at .7 per 1,000 persons age 12 or older

Rates of nonfatal intimate partner violence for females who were married, divorced, separated, or never married were lower in 2005 than in 1993.

Females who were —
• separated reported higher rates than females of other marital status
• married reported the lowest rates of nonfatal intimate partner violence

On average between 2001 and 2005, children were residents of the households experiencing intimate partner violence in —
• 38% of the incidents involving female victims.
• 21% of the incidents involving male victims

Source: Bureau of Justice Statistic: Office of Justice Programs


Domestic Violence news
Nunn to be arraigned in domestic-violence case

LEXINGTON, Ky. (AP) -- Former Kentucky Republican gubernatorial candidate Steve Nunn is to be arraigned this week on domestic-violence charges.

The 56-year-old Nunn is charged with fourth-degree assault and third-degree criminal mischief after a Feb. 17 incident with his former fiancee, 29-year-old Amanda Ross.

Nunn resigned last week as deputy secretary of the Health and Family Services Cabinet, which oversees the state's domestic violence programs.



Winfrey to air domestic violence show

CHICAGO – Oprah Winfrey says pop star Rihanna's alleged beating by singer boyfriend Chris Brown has the talk show queen so sad that she'll do a show dedicated to dating violence this week.

The hourlong episode of "The Oprah Winfrey Show" will air live from Chicago on Thursday. Winfrey offered Rihanna advice on her Friday show, saying, "Heal yourself first and also, love doesn't hurt." She also told the couple they should seek counseling.



Little Rock Women Arrested for Domestic Violence

Little Rock - A 29-year-old woman is being held on domestic battery charges after police say she stabbed the father of her children in the head with scissors during an argument.

Twenty-nine year-old Corliss Harris was arrested about 5 P.M. Saturday. Police say 27-year-old Khalid Rahmann came to their headquarters with a head injury and blood on his clothes around 2 P.M. to report the assault. He reportedly told them the two got into a domestic altercation when he went to Harris' home to get some pictures and other belongings.

Harris is being held at the Pulaski County Jail without bond



Domestic Violence Linked to Poor Health in Older Black Women

PHILADELPHIA, March 6 -- Exposure to domestic violence may have lingering health effects for black women, researchers found... In general, the researchers said, older black women are at a higher risk for poor health, so it's particularly important to examine any factors that could increase their risk any further.

So they surveyed 158 black women 50 and older (mean age 61.5) who were attending ambulatory care clinics in a large, inner-city, public hospital that serves as a "safety net" for low-income and uninsured individuals.

Lifetime exposure to domestic violence was measured using the Family Violence against Older Women survey, and health status was assessed using the physical and mental component summary scores of the Short Form-8.

Overall, 27.8% of the women had a high lifetime exposure to family violence.

Women with high exposure to family violence and those who were younger, had lower income, and were unemployed or disabled reported worse physical and mental health status.




Aside from my friend's experience, the fact is that domestic violence can happen to both women and men by women and men. It happens to victims of every economic status, occupation, race, religion, culture, and location. It occurs in both heterosexual and homosexual relationships too. If you know anyone who has been abused get them help. Do not forget to pass this on.

Mena

..on a lighter note- Mena's Delightful Tips To Ensure The Perfect Marriage..:P *Recycled*

I. Love Your Enemy

From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said, “One month after I die I want you to marry Peter.”

“Peter! But he is your enemy!”

“Yes, I know that ! I’ve suffered all these years so let him suffer now.”


II. Always Wear Your Wedding Ring

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? ”

The other replied, “Yes I am, I married the wrong man.”


III. When In Doubt, Ask Dad

“Dad, I was away for a few days. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife telling her that I’d be home that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife was in another man’s arms. Why? Dad, tell me why!”

Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, “Maybe, Son, she didn’t get the fax.”



IV. Maintain the Same Service

A husband visited a marriage counselor and complaint, “When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it’s all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking.”

“Why complain?” said the counselor, “You’re still getting the same service!”


V Be Affectionate

A wife, one evening, drew her husband’s attention to the couple next door and said, “Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don’t you do that?”

“I would love to.”, replied the husband. “But I don’t know her well enough.”



VI Call Out His Name

A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her husband always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him.

“Take my advice,” said the neighbour, “and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o’clock in the morning, and from my bed I called out: “Is that you, Jim?” And that cured him.

“Cured him !” asked the woman, “but how?”

The neighbour said, “You see, his name is Bill.”

VII Use Your Mouth And Tongue

A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out onto the table.
She started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "You know that fur coat you promised me Harry?" she answered by saying, "I bought it with the insurance money!"
She then said, "Harry, remember that new car you promised me?" She answered again, "Well I bought that with the insurance money!"
Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said, "Harry, remember that blow job I promised you? Here it comes..."

VIII Give Thoughtful Praise both in Words and Deeds

'Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our golf balls into a field of cattle.

We went to look for them and while I was looking around I noticed one of the cows had something white in its rear end.'

'I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it - stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt.

Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!''

'I don't remember much after that'

I hope I have helped people out there, send my cheques in the mail.

Memena ;-)


P.S: Have a wondeful time weekending y'all. I am all sorts of excited as its countdown to my birthday. Yippee. LOL

Mena

John Mayer on black women: My dick is like a white supremacist, I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fucking David Duke cock.

I am not a fan of his art, however there is one of his songs I love.Daughters.

Sadly, John Mayer is the latest of a longline of celebrities that seem to suffer from the foot in mouth syndrome. He seemed to have attained sex symbol status after dating A list stars like Jennfier Aniston and Jessica Simpson. In an interview with playboy magazine, he was asked if black women throw themselves at him. Mayer, 32, replies:

"PLAYBOY: Do black women throw themselves at you?


MAYER: I don't think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I've got a Benetton heart and a fuckin' David Duke cock. I'm going to start dating separately from my dick.

PLAYBOY: Let's put some names out there. Let's get specific.

MAYER: I always thought Holly Robinson Peete was gorgeous. Every white dude loved Hilary from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. And Kerry Washington. She's superhot, and she's also white-girl crazy. Kerry Washington would break your heart like a white girl. Just all of a sudden she'd be like, "Yeah, I sucked his dick. Whatever." And you'd be like, "What? We weren't talking about that." '"

In an interesting turn of events, when Holly was told by a friend that John Mayer – a musician her whole family admired – had called her "gorgeous" in a Playboy interview, she blushed and even told E! in a widely reported interview that she felt flattered. Holly Robinson Peete, 45, even defended Mayer on her blog, writing that she hates "that anyone would have the impression I condone or excuse racist comments in any context," but saying she does "not believe John Mayer is a racist" for his statements.

But this soon turned sour when Robinson Peete read the full interview, complete with his statement about African American women and his use of the N-word. "I was disgusted and offended," says Robinson Peete, who herself had faced criticism from some who felt she had initially been an apologist for Mayer.

Robinson Peete reveals to PEOPLE that Mayer has reached out to her to apologize for involving her in his firestorm, but not for his actual words. The actress says it's "time for him to really just drop the frat boy act" and "take responsibility for these hurtful comments."

Apart from Holly, other celebrities has criticised John Mayer on his mumurity

Katheryn Russell-Brown, director of the Center for the Study of Race and Race Relations at the University of Florida and author of The Color of Crime, tells UsMagazine.com that Mayer seems to be saying "black women are not just not his type, they're not in his class. They're beneath him."

Adds Laurie L. Mulvey, co-director of the Race Relations Project at Penn State University: "Both white people and people of color will be offended by Mayer commenting so flippantly about an issue that has caused so much pain in this culture, especially to black women.

In a tongue-in-cheek post on Twitter Roger Ebert wrote, "To John Mayer regarding black women: What's not to like?" The white film critic, 67, has been married to an African American woman, Charlie "Chaz" Hammel-Smith, since 1992. (He also went on a few dates with Oprah Winfrey in the 1970s.)...

Mulvey tells Us that Mayer's comments "create an atmosphere that is unfriendly to building trust and his words once again reinforce the idea that people of color are objects and white people are racist. This has particular impact when such words come from a celebrity who is admired by people of so many different backgrounds."

Mulvey also says "choosing to invoke David Duke to explain these ethnocentric escapades flies in the face of Mayer's self-congratulatory claim that he has a 'Benetton heart.'"

Richard T. Ford, author of The Race Card: How Bluffing About Bias Makes Race Relations Worse, says that Mayer is "being deliberately provocative and since he assures us that black people love him -- thanks for letting us know -- it's supposed to be okay."

The problem: Mayer's "tongue-in-cheek racism satirizes racial stereotypes and but also sort of traffics in them," Ford tells Us. "Sarah Silverman does post racist very adroitly -- she's both hilarious and thought provoking. Mayer does it badly -- he's offensive and tiresome."

In an article in the Boston Globe, Adam Mansbach looks deeper into the incident and its implications.

As John Mayer’s racially-charged comments in Playboy magazine ricocheted around the Internet this week, I found myself exhausted by the sad reality that the national dialogue on race remains driven by the engine of celebrity gaffes and gotcha moments.

Our voracious, ADHD-afflicted news cycle castigates, forgives, and forgets at a rate that precludes sustained discussion, so expect Mayer to spend a week with his head on the chopping block and then jog away, rubbing his neck, to join Chris Matthews, Harry Reid, Michael Richards, Geraldine Ferraro, Don Imus, and John Rocker on the list of figures whose shocking transgressions have faded to dim memories.

An analysis of such incidents and their scant longterm fallout suggests that it is now more acceptable to publicly spout racism than to publicly accuse someone of spouting racism. Look for Mayer to continue to make a vague apology to a fanbase and a punditry eager to excuse racist action because they can find no racist feeling behind it. Look for Mayer to swear he’s never uttered the n-word before and never will again, and look for the context in which he said it and the clumsy if well-intentioned point he was trying to make about white privilege to be obscured.

Look for him to continue not address more problematic statements from the interview, in particular the one about his male organ being a “white supremacist’’ -- a flippant attempt to explain his dating preferences that takes up the language of dehumanization and reveals a blithe willingness to reinforce any number of stereotypes about sex, race, and desirability. Look for the mainstream media to ignore that comment too.

Look for the “hood pass’’ Mayer stumbled so badly in trying to discuss to be serially snatched away and restored in a blogopshere-wide game of capture-the-flag. Far more importantly and indicatively, look for the very notion of a “hood pass’’ to go largely unexplored.

The “hood pass’’ is symbolic of white acceptance, personal or artistic, by the black community. Although both the notion of a monolithic black community and the conflation of blackness with the “hood’’ are problematic, the “hood pass’’ has been widely accepted. Part of the reason may be that it appears to place agency in the hands of black people, as arbiters of who and what constitutes tolerable incursion. Given the profound legacy of white co-option and exploitation of black life and culture, this might seem like a step in the right direction.

The problem with the “hood pass,’’ though, is that it turns racial progressivism from an activity to a state of being. It places engagement with this country’s system of structural racism, and the privileges white people accrue from it, in the past tense -- as if everybody in possession of a “hood pass’’ has already fought and won what is actually an ongoing struggle with one’s self and one’s country.

This complacency underwrites the widespread belief of young white Americans that they can be as “down’’ as necessary by consuming black cultural artifacts pushed by media conglomerates whose profits depend on expert marketing of the ghetto to the exurbs, black to white, and visceral “realness’’ to a generation of voyeurs. Full of empathy and short on identity, with few relationships to actual black people and less understanding of the machinations of institutional racism, they conclude that they, too, have “hood passes.’’ Through the magic of circular logic, they then conclude that every stereotype they embrace is as legitimate as they are. Much as Mayer seems to have.

It was a conversation with an old friend, filmmaker Kesime Bernard, that reminded me what we stand to gain by talking about the latest display of ignorance by an avatar of a culture that rewards it. “Our generation has built a cottage industry around uncomfortably edgy racial humor,’’ she wrote, “but the reaction is as important as the delivery.We carve out boundaries in real time. These little celebrity scandals do ‘teach’ us little by little where we stand.’’

I want to believe she’s right -- that we can make this not about Mayer’s hood pass, but the hood pass, not one rock star’s cavalier bigotry, but the millions nodding to it. That Americans can learn from where we stand, and that we stand for something. Because if we don’t, as the old saying goes, we’ll fall for anything.

Richard T. Ford "Tragically, this is what passes for edginess for many celebrities today -- someone blurting out the most crude and insulting thing that comes to what we might charitably call his 'mind.' Mayer did say one smart in the interview: 'I think the world would be better off if I stopped doing interviews.'

The Otondo himself, Mayer, perhaps feeling the back lash, tried to make amends. The singer explained while performing his song, "Gravity," at a Nashville concert:

"In the quest to be clever, I completely forgot about the people that I love and that love me," Mayer reportedly told the audience at the Sommet Center.

He broke down on stage while explaining his interview (which also included crass statements about ex Jessica Simpson), and apologized on Twitter the same day.

He has not made any public statements or Twittered since.


Note: this incident happened LAST YEAR.

Mena

MY BLOG IS ONE YEAR OLD AND AM STRIPPING NAKED! Where it (blogging) all began...

☻/˚ •。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛★ 。 .˛° ...。 ° 。 ˚ • ★ ˚ .˛ 。
.../...▌˛ Mena Ukodoisready is ONE ! ˚ 。 ★
/ \ ˚. ★ ˛ ˚ • 。˚ ˚。 ˛˚ • 。˚ ˚ ★˛ ˚ 。. • ˚ 。

I am terrible with particular anniversaries, therefore it comes as no surprise to me that I missed out my one year anniversary with bloggers com.

SOUND THE ALARM! :D RAISE THE ROOF!! :D BRING OUT THE GOOD CHINA!!! :D MY BLOG IS ONE..ok technically its one year and 3 days old today! Yippeee skippeee

Yep its been one year and I have not regretted joining at all. This is the story behind my joining process.

I have a facebook account and would often publish notes, pictures and links, that regularly drew in comments. It became a bit distracting and affected my school and work life and so I deactivated the account for a bit. Soon after my exams were over, I reactivated the account but alas, I found out my notes had disappeared. I went WTF immediately but that of course didnt help. lol.

Then my very good friend Nutty J announced on her page, her desire to start blogging. To cut a long story that bit shorter, here is a transcript of our conversation, typo errors, ebonics and broklish (mix of English and Broken English) included.

Mena: Good on you to start a blog, please let me know whenever you are ready! amfully in suppor!! :D
I havent started a blog yet, but am thinking of moving my notes to this website whenever i can findany ofthem!.
I only saw my oldnotes thru people i have tagged before. i.e if i go to your profile and click on 'notes about you',then i might see my own old notes. very long thing with facebook wahalaand my deactivating.., so ammoving it toblogville!
found out so far that blogspot requires you to have a googlemail account but ill movemy thoughts there sometimein the near future.

Nutty J: I have started one...but i'm just trying to make the templates and activities there a bit interesting and attractive so peeps wud be tempted to stop by

But i'm trying my hardest not to let at least 80% of those I know in FB discover me there...facebook is like a family. everyone knows everyone

But ther I could meet new people where our common interest is going to be writing...its tempting ni...as in Mena no one wud know u.

But I guess in time sha they will trace one back to fb (*hiss*)

do and come oooo, come and join the beautiful city of blogsville

Mena: Yes o, been working on mine, shifting my notes there. I actually dont know how the thing works yet sha so its fuzzy. And I dont know how much of myself i should reveal, as mad people full this internet world!

see sample lol...l havent publicised it yet cus I dont know if it make sense but am learning sha

Nutty J: Helllooooooooooo,

How have you been? wanted to ask...who is Mamuje? xcept its a secret...i read her blog on blogsville and its always an exciting read. and I see u and 'mamuje's blog'
are friend on FB?
meanwhile have u started blogging? you sud ooo...it gives you a release...u just wont believe it...things become clearer..its more like ones you say it...put it in perspective, then you can achieve it, control it, see it tru...etc....ha I may not be making much sense sha...but try it out...that is if u are not already there

Mena: LOL, ALREADY REPLIED TO YOURS! YOU NO DEY CHECK YOUR BLOG ABI? Mamuje is XXXXX na!

Nutty J: I guessed that was you on wordpress....but i've deleted that wodpress account sha...its a bit boring, besides I'm getting tired trying to update on FB..then on Blogsville...which is still in progress.So Mamuje is XXXXX? the girl na correct girl sha...I like the anonymity on blogsville...at least out of 10 people only one or two can know its you....I'll check out ur page...abeg if u catch me there, pls dont tell anyone we know oooo....that place get peace and serenity I tell you.....and everyone is mature...i don de blab again...Happy Weekend Jare....lots of love

...and so it came to pass that this blog was born. I just want to say a big thank you to every one that stops by this blog and drop a comment or two, you guys are amazing and make the whole thing extra enjoyable. Thanks to all my followers,every one of you is unique and specialise in fascinating topics. I do try to read your post and place my comments in there but please when I default, kindly give me a nudge.

Found this great Irish poem online and am dedicating to you guys.

Wishing you a rainbow
For sunlight after showers—
Miles and miles of Irish smiles
For golden happy hours—
Shamrocks at your doorway
For luck and laughter too,
And a host of friends that never ends
Each day your whole life through!

May God be with you and bless you.
May you see your children's children.
May you be poor in misfortunes
and rich in blessings.
May you know nothing but happiness
from this day forward.

May the blessing of the rain be on you—
the soft sweet rain.
May it fall upon your spirit
so that all the little flowers may spring up,
and shed their sweetness on the air.
May the blessing of the great rains be on you,
may they beat upon your spirit
and wash it fair and clean,
and leave there many a shining pool
where the blue of heaven shines,
and sometimes a star.

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hands



Dear Reader, when you walk through the storms of life, when you have a dream and it seems so hard to achieve, dont give up, keep working on it, hold your held high and walk on confidently, for you will never walk alone. Amen

Lots of Love

Me'mena