'How to Maintain Stellar Relations with Your Black Friends' by Donald Trump foreword by John Mayer author of "My d**k is like a white supremacist"

Hi there!

Nah this is not about Trump and Mayor per se! I came across a game in a facebook group and found it hilarious and so decided to share in here. The pictures in this particular blog were sourced from my 'otakara'(lol) camera. I bought it last year and feel the photos come out wierd? Tell me what you think about the pictures? thanks


Back to the game! Basically imagine all the popular celeb gaffe and try and construct an ironic book title to represent them. I'll start:

"Two Kids are Ideal- Our success story" Kate Gosselin aka kate +8 and Nadya Denise Doud-Suleman aka octomum

"How to win muslim friends" : Terry Jones also author of 'Burn a Koran'

"Anne Nicole Smith was nothing but a gold digger":- Elizabeth Hurley, Katherine LaNasa popularly knows as 'Mrs Dennis Hopper' and Oksana Grigorieva

"How to Be Accepted by the Royal Family" - Sarah Ferguson, with the forward by Camilla Parker Bowles

"I heart Burkas" :- written by Rihanna, Kim Kardashian foreword by Lady Gaga

"Keeping it in the closet"=Perez Hilton and Rupaul

"I love my mum":-Eminem

"Generators? A Waste of Money" by PHCN

"I AM NOT BALDING!"-Donald Trump

"How I survived 30 years on nothing but lettuce": Mo-nique, Roseann, Rosie Odonell

"How to Marry Your Agemate by Hugh Hefner"

"Divorce is Not About the Money" by Maria Shriver and Mrs Tiger Woods


"How to Maintain Stellar Relations with All of Your Black Friends" by Donald Trump foreword by John Mayer author of the book "my d**k is like a white supremacist"

"Say It Loud, Am Black and Proud" by Micheal Jackson

"Heal the World" jointly written by George Bush and Osama Bin Laden, Current U.N Ambassadors for Global Peace


"Idiot guide to monogamy":-jointly written by Tiger Woods, Mel Gibson, Madonna and a foreword by Bill Clinton best selling author of 'I did not have sexual relations with that woman'

"Always Wear a Great Big Smile Upon Your face":- Victoria Beckham

"How to mind your own business":- Wendy Williams

"Crack is whack" by Whitney Houston

"Staying out of trouble" - Lindsay Lohan


"How to win friends" :- Bruno, Alan G, and whatever moniker he goes under.lol

"How To keep a low profile and go under the radar": Jordan, Kanye West, Pamela Anderson, Lady Gaga, Buffy the body, Katy Perry

Know of anymore? ;-)

Then to add the special Nigerian twist, do the same with Nigerians celebs, only use perfume titles this time.

"Extinct" by Nitel a delicate and elusive scent

"Confused" by Zain a hint of uncertainty and a dash of chaos


"Almost Contended" by MTN nearly confident scent

"Black Out" by PHCN a sure knock out

"Fight 2 finish by Otedola hint of stupidity and over confidence...

"Ready 4 Fight" by Aliko Dangote seemingly sure but could be wrong

"Consolidated" by Sanusi Lamido brash and outdoor rugged not for the faint hearted

"Former Artful Dodger" by James Ibori Fomer Elusive scent now captured!!



"Evil Genius" by Babangida Perceptive narcissistic scent a must kill!!

"Demolition" by Nasiru El-Rufai bold no holds barred

"Deception" by Farida Waziri a some what dull scent putting on airs of aggrandisement

Know of any more?

bye from me

Mena

What REALLY happened when I allegedly met up with the horndog blogger...

SO Tantricnotes fired the first shot over here, well in In the interest of full public disclosure, this is really what happened. He gatecrashed into my house! my home!!!

Mena: You Idiot, did i ask you to come to my house!
TNotes: (Tried to enter apartment) Why are you dressed up - i thought you said you were not interested in mo*vida.
Mn: (Restricted my movement) Well, I was, until I had a proper date.
TN: (Pushed her hand aside, stepped in and shut patio door) So you ditched me for all these innit boys.
Mn: He’s not a broke ass M.Sc student like you.
TN: Abeg jare, I have prospects! You know the guy is boring as hell, let’s smoke him out and hit town.
Mn: (Hushed tone) Keep your voice down now. We’ll hook up some other time.
TN: Lai lai. I’m gate crashing. If we had done mo*vida as planed, we’d be out till 4a.m. Now however, i’m homeless till trains start service in the morning.
Mn: (She was getting impatient) T.N, you have other friends in London jor!
TN:Please Ihave no where else to go.

Looking at his sad face my maternal instincts kick in and I let him in. He sees that is was just nuttyjay inside the house..

NuttyJay: Ah ah Mena which one are you hanging out with chewing gum boys? You are not Demi Moore,neither is he Ashton Kutcher
TN: WTF, FARK, FACKERY, FARKING HEIL, WHO ARE YOU F*CKING CALLING FARKING CHEWING...
Mena quickly butts in: No be so, he has no where else to go.
Nutty: So you look like a B&B or police station? Mena I don dey taya for your slacking,and your 'humanitarian services' I am going without you!
Mena: No vex my luv

Nutty slams the door in my face.

Meanwhile Tnotes stares at me,open mouthed and I know what he is thinking: "WOOOOAH, SUCH BIIIIIG BREASTS!" "LOVELY HAIRLESS SOFT AND SILKY SKIN", "SUPPLE BUUUUM AND HIIIPS", "LOOOONG LEGS! WANNA GET TO SECOND AND THIRD BASE!!"

But those are his thoughts, what he actually say is

Tnotes: Mena,you have no idea what a day I have had. I need a hug

I innocently give him a hug and then..

Mena: Tnotes you are hugging me too tightly, I cant breathe!

Tnotes: Mmmm, Mena, This feels good, could stay here forever I want to show you someone that is just as eager to meet you....

indeed, he decides to show me. He unzips his trousers, whips his thingy out and shoves it in my hand.

Mena: 'Thanks, but I don't smoke.'

.......................

*blows speck of my halo*
Mena

(Bring it on sexy Tnotes ->

Thoughts on the current Online battle between freedom of speech and Superinjunctions

Hi

This is a long post and more or less a raw collection of my thoughts on the injunction debacle using sources from a few online journals.

Please dont read any further if you find the topic boring.:)

Soone of the top stories making the rounds in most of UK media is the issue of celebrities taking out superinjunctions to protect their private lives.To be specific to hide their affairs..allegedly of course! :)

According to compactlaw online, Injunctions are court orders that requires a party to do, or to refrain from doing, certain acts. Quite simply the idea behind an injunction is to to protect the privacy of other parties. For instance an injunction can be taken out against noisy neighbours, or can prevent someone from removing a child from a country or even to prevent someone from getting rid of their assets.

Obviously for anyone to resort to this remedy, an existing relationship has been damaged to such an extent that one party is harassing, threatening or assaulting the other. One of such popular injuction is a restraining order.


An injunction might also prevent somebody publishing something about you which you do not like.

Now a superinjunction on the other hand is on another scale. A Contra Mundum super-injunction is an order that 'ideally should be' enforceable worldwide and in perpetuity.

Imagine the examples above but on the world stage and..perhaps..in the world wide web..I.E No one in the world is allowed to publish stories that reflects negatively upon these celebs.

That is exactly what some celebs tried to do..allegedly of course

A superinjunction not only prevents media sources from revealing the name of an individual named, but it even prevents those sources from mentioning that an injunction exists. In practice judges issuing such an injunction distribute notices to newspapers, TV news companies, websites and so on to ensure they comply.

Superinjunctions are expensive, certainly for the use and protection of the very wealthy.
Several questions arises from this order, hat about the right of the other party to speak about the previous relationship? What if the celebs use these orders to protect an illegal act? Last but not least,how will the legal system enforce or police such an order in a world wide scale?

As it is the social media in general and Twitter in particular, have been carrying details of some of the celebrities involved in their tweets and blogs.

The following is an excerpt from the super injunction blogspot who culled it from a twitterer called Billy Jones.

"Two stars of the TV show Shameless, David Threlfall and Pauline McLynn (Libby Croker) had an affair. Both are married.

British actor Hugh Bonneville paid £195 for the services of prostitute Helen Wood. Wood used a sex toy on Bonneville.

Gordon Ramsay sexually harassed a female employee and sacked a male chief executive for no reason, he is still owed wages.British comedian/actor David Schneider is into BDSM and visits spanking establishments to engage in the whipping of women.

Footballer Ryan Giggs had an extramarital affair with Big Brother star Imogen Thomas which lasted for 7 months. "

The Spanish press first revealed the identity of Giggs but on the 23rd May LibDem MP John Hemming also revealed his name.

Full legal judgement originally made by Mr Justice Eady after hearings on the 14 & 20 April 2011 can be found here

A distinguished family man, Channel 4 online describes Ryan Giggs, as the most succesful footballer in UK history who has won every single trophy in club football.

The other celebrities named above, are also very successful in their respective careers.

It is interesting to note how public personalities are attributed certain expectations. The argument is that a person who earns a living from 'selling' a certain public image and reputation is expected to uphold that image at all times..the day such a person is found wanting, he is villified by the same public and this might affect his 'brand' and in the long run his earnings..Tiger Woods, Arnold Scharzenneger, IMF Khan,are high profile people whose careers are affected by their indiscretions yet they cannot resist but cheat..Its not so much the cheating but the peddling of a wholesome image and gaining substantially from it.

Hugh Salmon in his blog raises another question:

the extraordinary impact of Twitter, Facebook and
the internet generally.


We also know about the huge financial valuations that are currently being placed on
these and other ‘new media’ companies. We are experiencing another dotcom boom.


These valuations are based on the value of these potential audiences in terms of
marketing and advertising cash.


One issue of concern is the anonymity, inanity - and, now, legality - of many of the
comments made on the internet. They are certainly a consideration to advertisers
backing the sites that ‘distribute’ or ‘broadcast’ them (deliberate ‘old media’ terms).


So when a Contra Mundum order is issued in London, it raises a debate and a set of
questions that our industry has a vested interest in answering:
- to what extent, in the real world, is this Contra Mundum enforceable?


- why is it easier to defame someone online rather than offline?


- what about all these ‘comments’ that are made behind a veil of anonymity?


- are these anonymous commentators above the law?


- if so, why?


- if not, to what extent are they controllable?


- what are we doing to police them?


- what are the owners of websites and blogging forums doing to monitor them?


- is there a code of practice?


- should advertisers support websites that do not abide by a code of practice?


- who is making the rules?

The Guardian online reports that Twitter users and the courts go to war over injunction Very interesting article there!

Too many interesting perspectives! Will update as the debate continues...

Mena

Much Ado about an Orgasm

Hi!!

So according to healthguide.com, an orgasm is 'the sudden discharge of accumulated sexual tension resulting in rhythmic muscular contractions in the pelvic region that produce intensely pleasurable sensations followed by rapid relaxatiohttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifn'

It is obviously experienced by males and some females(not all)they are often associated with other involuntary actions, including muscular spasms in multiple areas of the body, a general euphoric sensation and, frequently, body movements and vocalizations are expressed. In males, orgasm generally leads to ejaculation.

Obviously a physiologic response to sexual stimulation, orgasms usually result from the stimulation of the penis in males and the clitoris in females. Modern findings by Schwartz(1992) support distinction between ejaculation and male orgasm in men and a distinction between clitoral orgasms from orgasms caused by G-Spot stimulation alone in women. Findings also supports female ejaculation,also known as 'squirting' in women.

Such stimulation can be by self-practice (masturbation) or by a partner (penetrative sexual intercourse, non-penetrative sex; also known as outercourse, and other erotic sexual activities). In addition, partners simultaneously stimulating each other's sex organs by mutual masturbation, penetrative intercourse, or other rhythmic inter-genital contact may experience simultaneous

The words I want to draw out are euphoric sensation and intense pleasure and the power they carry. Such is their weight that men like Tiger Woods have suffered for continually seeking it beyond agreed boundaries. Arnold Schwarzenegger the terminator has been renamed the impregnantor, and Former International Monetary Fund Chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn has been accused of raping his chambermaid!

That said orgasms can also bond a couple in a healthy relationship. It can also lead to a range of often involuntary spoken words and that, dear class, is where my focus is today.


How words said during orgasms links to personality traits...


1. The Optimist - "Ahh...Oh Yes, Oh Yes, Oh Yes .....Aaahhh ..... ! "

2. The Pessimist - " Ahh ..... Oh No, Oh No, Oh No .....Aaahhh ..... ! "

3. The Confused - " Ahh ..... Oh Yes, Oh No, Oh Yes, Oh No..... Aaahhh ..... ! "

4. The Traveler - " Ahh ..... I'm cumming, I’m cumming ..... Aaahhh ..... ! "

5. The Religious - "Ahh ..... Oh God, Oh God.....Aaahhh ..... ! "

6. The Needy - " Ahh ..... More, More, More..... Aaahhh ..... ! "

7. The Beggar - " Ahh ..... Please ..... Please ..... Aaahhh ..... ! "

8. The Submariner - " Ahh ..... Ohhhh ..... Deeper ..... Go DEEPER..... Aaahhh ..... ! "

9. The Sports man - " Ahh ..... Faster .....Faster .....Aaahhh ..... ! "

10. The Mimicry artist - " Ahh ..... Shhhhh ..... Hsssss ..... Shhhhh ..... Aaahhh ..... ! "

11. The Dutiful man - " Ahh ..... Oooh maaaa ..... Oooh maaaa..... Aaahhh ..... ! "

12. The Wrestler - " Ahh ..... Hold me tight ....Rougher .... Harder ..... Aaahhh ..... ! "

13. The Murderer - " Ahh ..... I am going to cum .....Ahh .....If you cum before me, I'll kill you .....Aaahhh..... !

14. (adapted for Nigerians) YEPARIPA......... YEPARIPA......... YEPARIPA......... YEPARIPA......... YEPARIPA......... YEPARIPA......... YEPARIPA......... MO TIN MBOOOOOOOOOOO

15.OH SHIT,SHIT,SHIT,SHIT, MAKE ME CUM BABY,MAKE ME CUM! SHIT,OH SHIT,I CANT TAKE DIS CURSE MY MAMA,YEESH ABEG CURSE MY PAPA,SAY MY MAMA NA ONYEBERIIIBEEEEEE!

16. The Pain taker.- E dey pain you... Ehn... Make I remove am....Nooooo Noooooo Noooooooooooooooooooo.......

17.The Guarantor.- E no go tear.....hit am well.. welll. e no tearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Recognise thineself? LOL!

Thanks for reading
Mena

...and on a lighter note New Suth Effrican Weds in Suth Effrican lungwich Deekshunry

(Found this online. Lwkmd!)


Officials of the New South African government have come to realise that
the current status of having 11 official languages in the New South
Africa is impractical. A new language was thus introduced. This is
the English as it is now spoken on television and radio. The recently
published New Suth Effrican Deekshunry defines these new weds. Here are some
extracts and examples of their usage in the official New Suth Effrican
lungwich:

Bad - you sleep on it in the badroom

Beds - mossies, doves, etc

Beg - container, as in shopping beg, hand-beg, tog-beg

Ben - to set alight

Chealdren - our future is in their hands

Chetz - where worshippers go on Sundays

Cuds - you can play poker or rummy with them

Cut - a small donkey-drawn vehicle

Debben - city in KZN

Deekshunry - where you find weds

Detty - opposite of clean

Die'llas - as in drug die'llas or wee-pon die'llas

Driva - holds the steering wheel of a teksi

Duck - very duck at night when the lights are all off

Ebben - you get ebben erriors and rural erriors

Effrican - from the continent of Africa

Erriors - districts, e.g. ebbon erriors

Ewways - eg. SAA, Comair

Fems - companies, e.g., Anglo-American

Fest - the one before second and third

Fok - used with nifes

Fum - you can fum with ship or kettle

Fumma - he owns the fum

Guddin - where you grow kebbijees

Geave - you MUST geave, I WILL take

Get - a hinged device in a fence

Hair - as opposed to heem

Heppi - state of elatement, e.g. I'm so heppi - I just voted

Hiss - masculine form of hairs

Hubba - where sheeps dock

Itch - as in itch and avairy pesson

Jems - little bugs that give you the flu

Kah - what you drive around in

Kennel - ummy officer

Kebbijees - vegetable

Keptown - some think parliament doesn't belong there

Kettegry - in a system of classification

Kipper - one who kips, as in goal kipper

Kleenix - where nesses weck

Kot - where the judges sit

Len - to acquire knowledge

Leeda - as in Arwa Leeda, the president

Lungwich - weds what are spokkin

Mick - those that will inherit the eth

Miening - what is the miening of this attack?

Nesses - they weck in kleenix and hospitals

Pee pull - powa to da pee pull

Peppa - one way to get the news

Pesson - one of pee pull

Phlegm - the benning top of a kendal

Pees - symbolised by white dove

Pees-Tox - between IRA and John Major

Reeva - e.g. Limpopo, Vaal, Orange

Regime - anything to describe pre-1994

Ree kwest - replaced by dee mands

Rent - N/A - word obsolete

Scotched Eth - guerilla tactic

Sheep - big boat

Shex - houses in squatter camps

Ship - provider of wool

Shit of Peppa - something to write on

Shuck-attak - if the shuck-net is brokkin

Shuck-nets - at Debben, for safety of sweamas

Spitch - what politicians make at a relly

Suth - opposite of North

Sweamas - compete in a sweaming pul

Teps - solvent to thin enamel paint

Teck - see geave

Teksi - kah for hire - sometimes parrot teksi

Tenning point - the "top" of a parabola

Thest - ice cold Coke will relieve it on a hot day

Tipic ally - characteristic

Tocks - negotiations

Ufrican - pertaining to Ufrica

Ummy - military force

Wee men - ladies

We pon - a gun

Wean-dow - with glus for throwing bricks through

Weaned - Gone with the Weaned

Weaner - the one with the most votes

Weckliss - the unemployed pee-pull

Weds - what the dictionary is made up of

Wekkas - do the weck

Weld - the eth

Wems - small crawly creatures

Weth - she is weth her weight in gold.


Source: http://www.outofafricaclub.com/oac_web_4_014.htm





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Bullying and bullies..part 1

I was bullied in secondary school! Many years ago and I can still remember it!

I recall it was my first time having a period and I was scared of what to do and had no one to talk about it.

I was in a boarding secondary school. A federal government girls college 4hours from home and comfort. I recall it as a flux of rules and energy and lots of bullying and punishment and very few genuine friendly face.

It started at the general assembly. I felt faint and soon noticed blood trickling down my legs to stain my white socks and brown bata* shoes. I kept cleaning it up with fear running through me. Where is it coming from? I was scared and felt like I was less than human and didnt know what to do. We eventually had siesta and some senior girls noticed the state of me. They commanded me to come to their 'segment' as it was called. I felt all eyes on me, as my heart beat faster certain now that I was dying. At that moment all I could hear was an avalanche of insults on me,in between sentences like 'did you pack a sanitary towel'? I nodded with tears in my eyes and snort in my nose. Ah so thats what its used for?? I thought to myself. I wanted it to stop!

Well I finally learnt in between the derision, how to use a pad, I used two for double protection but didnt know how to dispose of it properly. Remember I said secondary school wasaflurry of activities? well before I knew it, a prefect had marched us for prep time (study time).
During prep I was still ill (a feeling i would learn was called dysmennorhea) and felt uncomfortable with my pad, deciding it was time for a change. I finally went outside to take the pad off, I tied it in a bag and threw it in a bin while using a fresh pair for reinforcements.lol. Then came back to class.

Not knowing a bunch of students trailed me. They got a stick, took the pad out of the bin and brought it to where I was sitting. They threw it on my books, insulting me, laughing, saying how a witch will take my blood and I will never have children. I remember crying my eyes out. I also remembered the girls that did it even till this day..I remember that the more I cried, the more they laughed. At that moment, they were the cool kids, I was the outcast.. Years later, I cant figure out why they would do such a thing?

That memory brings me to my guest writer of the day, KitKat and her tales on bullying/bullies....Enjoy
Mena

I’ve always had a problem with my English professor. She gives too many essay homeworks and is so strict in grading!!..she’s also very talkative and loud and sometimes it gets a little bit too much. Most of the classmates are so rude to her and when she cracks a “not-so-funny” joke, they laugh at her and make it so obvious that they..well, think she’s a wee bit crazy. I am always surprised she never flips and is always oh-so-jovial no matter how much they push her buttons and make silly comments to her face. Infact she joins them to laugh at herself. Today she came to class, uber excited (as usual), and announced that her seven year old kid just said a complete sentence for the first time. As usual, some smarty mouth was like “err..seven years old?? Isn’t that meant to be normal??”.. and then she goes on to talk about her son and how he’s suffering from autism. She tells us how its so hard to be a parent of a child with autism and how it took him ages to learn to crawl. She literally had to crawl with him between her legs even in public places just so he could learn to do it. She talked about how people make fun of him a lot and some even make rude comments about him right in front of her and being a mother, you can imagine how hard it is to hear another kid at a birthday party call your son a retard. She said there are so many times she wants to give up, but she just can’t give up on her own son, and that there was even a woman that killed her autistic child out of frustration and stress. To top it off, her second child, the elder sister, is suffering from OCD. Everything has to be straight, little things get the girl so worked up, she gets into panic attacks frequently because her mind sees things in a certain way and once something is different from the way her mind sees it, then she just can’t deal with it. So here she was, standing in front of her class of obnoxious students, sharing her real personal story with us, and she was totally smiley-faced about the whole thing. You’ll think she was sharing a real good joke. I don’t know anyone who didn’t have tears in their eyes, it was so emotional to hear what this woman was going through, and the fact that she always radiates such positive energy still eludes me. It just made me feel dumb for all the times I rolled my eyes at her jokes and fantasized about getting the teacher evaluation sheet were I could give her a poor evaluation (just cos I was mad she didn’t know who chimamamda was lool :p ) ..I have a renewed respect for her and I just wish I could have that much resilience in me. Like my biggest worry in life right now is probably how I’m going to sacrifice my sleep to read for my history exam and yet I don’t even radiate as much love and joy as she does… I definitely learnt a lifhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gife lesson today.

Sooo I finally finished reading “please stop laughing at me” and I have to say it’s a very emotional book and the fact that it’s a real life story makes it even more emotional. It’s basically the author’s story about her life in junior high and high school and how she had to endure so much torture and bullying from her peers. It didn’t matter that her parents took her from one school to the other to escape all the bullying, no matter how much she tried to avoid being picked on, her peers always made her life a living hell.
They hated her for being brilliant. They hated her for sticking up for other classmates that were being bullied. They hated her for having a deformity in her boobies. They just plain hated her.
She went through all sorts of hell from name calling, to beating, to preventing her from sitting next to them on the schoolbus, to getting snow forced down her throat, to having people spit in her hair and tie it up with chewed gum, ..it got to a point were she was depressed. She never wanted to leave the house, she wanted to commit suicide.. and she was only a teenager. Fast forward to ten years later, she’s now a successful author and publisher. She has worked with plenty celebrities and dignitaries.. she’s sitting in her car in the parking lot of her high school where she’s supposed to be attending her high school reunion, and even though she knows her former tormentors and bullies are now full grown adults and wont be able to bully her again, a part of her is still too scared to leave the car. The scars and memories of her childhood still haunt her. She still feels vulnerable and scared, like the outcast that was dehumanized so many years ago. The most amazing thing is that when she finally steps in, her mates are so nice and sweet to her, and they honestly don’t remember doing all the mean things they used to do to her. To them, she was just one out of many other kids they must have picked on when they were kids. To her, they were the people that scarred her for life and made her question her self-worth.

That’s the thing with bullying and hurting people. The one inflicting the pain barely recalls doing it an hour later. To them it’s no big deal, it was just a way of passing time and having fun. But to the person you hurt, to that person that you took it upon yourself to make the butt of your cruel malicious joke, it’s something he or she remembers for a long long time. Also, it's not so much about the mean things that are done to the person getting bullied, but also all the things that they exclude the person from. Not talking to that one person, inviting everyone else but that person, basically ignoring that person. A quote from the novel says:
"The hardest thing about being an outcast isn't the love you don't receive. It's the love you long to give that nobody wants. After a while, it backs up into your system like stagnant water and turns toxic, poisoning your spirit"

The above piece, titled 'Please stop laughing at me' was written by today's featured author KitKat. Follow her on http://pweetytales.blogspot.com





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UK, US, CANADA cost of living many Africans should know about!

Hi

So I was taking stock of my time away from Nigeria and how much I have spent since I got here and its unbelievably very high!!



So fellow african just before dashing all out for the UK, (or U.S or Canada) Be warned, be careful & also be prepared...for the cost of living here in the UK is thus:

1. Mortgage payment for Home owners
2. Home Building insurance for home owners
3. Home Content insurance 4 Home owners
4. Rent bills for those renting
5. Gas bill
6. Water bill
7. Electricity bill
8. Council tax
9. Transport fares for Bus or tram passes etc.
10. For car owners - Road tax, MOT, Car insurance, Car servicing, Breakdown cover & the all important Petrol or Diesel.
11. TV Licence
12. Internet fees for Surfing the net
13. Mobile phone bills
14. Home phone bills
15. Sky TV fees
16. Food
17. Clothings
18. Provision
19. Prescription charges
20. Dentist fees
21. ? Savings
22. Charity & Family

DO NOT GET ME WRONG, THE BENEFITS ARE WONDERFUL, THE EXPOSURE IS COMPARABLE TO NONE. THE OPPORTUNITIES ARE THERE.However the fact remains that many do not understand that UK is not a place to earn pounds easily as though picking it from the ground. And those with cars & houses definitely have more bills to sort out than those without, meaning the more you earn the more you pay! So where is the change?

Giving someone a car in the UK is so different from giving someone a car back home in Africa becos here it may be rejected if the person is not ready for the other bills attached to a car owner such as MOT, Road tax, car insurance, Breakdown cover, Servicing & then PETROL.

Mortgage is not heard of back home becos those who buy houses really do it once by paying cash down. But here if anyone tells you he/she has bought a house its a different story, becos it often mean HUGE money has just been borrowed & once that individual fails to pay his or her monthly loan back - the Bank will repossess the house from such. And there has been so many homes repossessed recently since the recent economy crunch.

Like I mentioned earlier, same thing goes on in other places. Take for instance North America. Many Africans who come to North America, expecting it to be easy and stuff, get it pretty rough. You find yourself working 2 to 3 jobs, in order to sustain a lifestyle that is basic to most westerners. Some who blindly think that their credentials will be recognized in the west, are shocked to discover that they have to go back to school or work menial jobs. Most of those jobs, are hardcore factory jobs that often endanger the lives of those who partake in them.

Other things to note, are the international students who get hit hard with the reality of living in the west. School books in North America, could cost as much as a semester's worth of fees in Africa. Tuition is also very expensive and in countries like the US, it can be unaffordable(like 20,000 - 40,000 dollars), unless you get a loan from the government or get a scholarship. In Canada, tuition is like 5000 to 7000 dollars for most universities, as it is subsidized by the government. But i know international students who pay close to 20,000 dollars in tuition. That is excluding living expenses and textbooks. In the UK, cost of tuition for International students used to be 15000-30,000 depending on the courses but the recent plan by the conservatives will further hike such school fees!

These amounts are not even charged by the best universities in Africa.

An article by Danesi in Nigeria Village Square further puts things in perspective:

I do understand why you want to migrate given your love for your family. I am happy that you have all obtained your visas as you look forward to transferring your media skills here (UK). Work was not going the way it should in spite of your towering industry stature. So you have thrown in your retirement letter to everyone's shock. You have sold all you ever owned to be able to relocate with your family. In a nutshell, bridges have been burnt as you look forward to making UK your "new home."

However, you need to prepare for a completely strange transition, which may either make or break you. You will practically go to 'school' on CV writing and before you eventually get it right it might take roughly three months- this is no exaggeration, as there are many critics out here. You will start pushing out your new CV, while it takes about 3,000 to get you one interview! You may have to push out about 30,000 copies to get 10 interviews and you’ll probably need to attend 30 interviews to finally land a job! The truth is you may have to send out 900,000 applications before you get a job here!

If you are wondering why this is so then consider the following statistics and facts: the Royal Mail risks 50,000 jobs; Woolworths, which has 813 stores, collapsed in November and as a result, 25,000 jobs are likely to go; the pound has hit a near low against the Euro; manufacturing has fallen to record lows; the service sector is in record contraction; Britain is slipping down the income rankings; the Bank of England is being blamed for the recession; unemployment has hit 1.8 million- the highest since 1998; UK debt has risen to 1.5 trillion pounds, etc.

Do not be shocked that your M.Sc degree means nothing to the employers here. Worse still, the almost 20 years of experience you have does not count! Most employers do not even know what the HSMP (Highly Skilled Migrant Programme) means!

It is great that you are coming with your family of five, but you need at least £13,000 (N2.8m) to survive the first six months of possible unemployment- and this is outside of London! You’d probably need close to double that amount if you decide to reside in London. You may not be able to earn the mandatory £35,000 per annum required by the Home Office (if your visa is to be renewed in two years time) if you do not work in London. And if your post code reads anywhere but London, your applications will all fire blank. Meanwhile, no employer will tell you the reason.

If you have a relation or friend who lives in London and is willing to accommodate you temporarily, why not come alone for now? However, the danger in that is multi-faceted. Who says you will find work in six months- even menial work? There is a recession here, which affects virtually every sector. You will be shocked to learn that the employment agency would rather call, and even in some cases, register somebody from the EU who cannot express him/herself clearly in English than give you, a master's degree holder a break. And the job in question? Factory operative! The wage is about £5.75 an hour before tax/NI deductions. Do not forget that you need to be in the £24/25 per hour bracket to hit the HSMP £35k target. Relationships with your hosts will be strained in most cases and you will be running bills back home too since your wife is not working.

f you have the money, come with your family, stay with your host for not more than 72 hours, maximum, a week, but be prepared to contribute your quota to the upkeep of the home. You will be lucky if your hosts are not greedy because they have not set eyes ever on the kind of money you are coming with at a go, in their 20-something years of living in the UK!

That you have the money is no guarantee that you will immediately get a house of your own because you do not have a credit history. If you do not have a guarantor (and many potential ones are unwilling) then just pay six months rent upfront. Though the checks that will still be undertaken may take between two to three weeks. Make sure your landlord in Nigeria can easily be reached by the referencing company, e.g. e-mail, fax, land phone, mobile, etc. If you do not get a permanent job before the six months and your landlord wants to sell the property then you start the process all over, though your Nigerian landlord may not be contacted again. If your employment is temporary/contract, which is less than 6-12 months, you will need a guarantor.

Do not be in a hurry to own a car because keeping it on the road is not a joke; more so your driving licence/experience, like your academic certificates/experience, will not be recognised! You will have to start from scratch as a learner, in spite of your 18 years accident-free driving experience on roads that are death traps in Nigeria! Do not even think of using your international driving licence because of the prohibitive insurance premium you will be paying on it. What baffles me, however, is the accident statistics here despite the very strict driving/traffic regulations - every morning my radio reports accidents on the A2, M25, and the lot, as fatal!

The bills never cease to come from utility companies whether you have a job or not! Your local council tax is even reviewed upwards and if you call to let them know you are not working, they ask if your wife is and if she is. Your subsequent bills will come in her name! If you are impatient, the thousands of rejection letters you are going to receive on your applications will almost make you stop believing in yourself - you will think you are absolutely useless! An attempted foray into other unrelated survivalist professions like care work may even return further rejection letters- but you are highly skilled! You will crave anything eventually because the bills are ticking away - lunch time play leader, mail sorter, support worker, anything.

You pick up most newspapers here and it is obvious you could do a better editing job if given the chance, but you have sent more than 5,000 unsuccessful applications to be considered even for the post of assistant reporter! You will almost feel like quitting. Your foreign degree is competing with theirs in this period of recession. Thousands of their citizens are out of work and they would rather give them priority. But do not be frightened, do not despair. I understand that your Christian faith is intact: that is a vital credential you will be need here at this time. Be prepared because at a stage it will look like God does not even operate here!

You were given 24 months and by 10 months into your visa some prospective employers are already weary of even interviewing you, citing "company policy" as the reason (your visa is running out of steam). I can confirm to you that many Nigerians here are returning home in great numbers- are you surprised?



Do you still want to come to UK (U.S,CANADA ETC( Whatever decision you take should consider a lot of the points listed above. Once you do that, you will LOVE living there!!

Mena

On a lighter note ;)....101 creative ways to. use a condom.... (clean joke)

1) Odd shaped balloons.
2) Embarrassing people by planting several in their bag, so that when they open it in a crowded computer room, they fall out all over the floor.
3) Swimming hat/shower cap.
4) For washing up when you can't find your rubber gloves.
5) Lens caps.
6) Long lasting bubblegum.
7) Toy manufacture.
8) Radiator leak plugging.
9) Novelty ties.
10) Expandable X-mas stocking to hang on the fire place.
11) Oversocks for leaky shoes.
12) Candle moulds.
13) Spare biro tops.
14) To keep bananas dry in the rain.
15) Emergency bungee cord.
16) Lubricated shopping bags. (For easy extraction of sticky shopping.)
17) James Herriott accessories for cows bottoms.
18) Body bag for a very small person.
19) Avoiding fingerprinting the house you're burgling.
20) Doggy bags.
21) Novelty musical instruments.
22) Wine coolers.
23) Water filled offensive weapons.
24) Fill with your last pint of beer from the pub and take it home.
25) Emergency toilet, after drinking the above on the way home.
26) Sick bags (after drinking the above on the way home, cos you'd drunk too many of the above, above, to know the difference)
27) Shopping bags, when the handles of the old one have just broken.
28) Earrings.
29) Ear mufflers.
30) Ice lolly moulds.
31) Catapult elastic.
32) Knicker elastic.
33) Water termite impressions.
34) Hair bands.
35) Guitar strings.
36) Cheesy dips.
37) Dippy cheese cases.
38) Barrage balloons.
39) Colour filters for disco lights.
40) Turner prize winning modern art (Dead sperm in condoms)
41) Line them up in rows to help people count.
42) Trampolines for mice.
42) Re-usable tampons.
43) Computer keyboard protectors.
44) Waterproofing for personal stereos.
45) Christmas tree decorations.
46) Waterproof finger bandages.
47) An excuse when caught reading http://www.durex.com
48) Tear catchers hung from each cheek.
49) Nappy substitutes (especially for Tory MPs)
50) Car covers. (Matchbox cars of course.)
51) Snow protectors for Summer shoes.
52) Snow ball carriers.
53) Novelty jelly moulds.
54) Masks for bank robbers.
55) Rude snowman accessories.
56) Self contained underwater breathing apparatus.
57) Fart storage devices.
58) Freezer bags.
59) Gnats swatters.
60) Waterproof gloves for playing snowballs.
61) Waterproof socks for playing in the snow.
62) Waterproof willy gloves for making holes in the snow.
63) Finger puppets.
64) Money bags.
65) Milk carton resealers.
66) Spare sausage skins.
67) Goldfish bags.
68) Icing bags for cake decorating.
69) Elastic bands.
70) Car exhaust bangers.
71) Colostomy bags.
72) Helium balloons for Action Men.
73) Spirit measures.
74) Key rings (you put the keys inside).
75) Hats!
76) Snot catchers!
77) Inflatable boats.
78) Life jackets.
79) Antler protection.
80) Hiccup cures [Bang!]
81) 101 uses list incentive.
82) Cassette cases.
83) Nooses.
84) Flour bombs.
85) Stockings.

86) Leaving presents to the people you didn't like.
87) Leaving presents to the people you want to shag.
88) Shoe laces.
89) Alternative rubber bands.
90) Microwave exploding eggshell catchers.
91) Parachutes for mice.
92) Floppy disk dust covers.
93) Left over turkey storage packs.
94) Bowling ball covers.
95) A mouse house. (Stuck to the side of your monitor.)
96) Quasar gun sabotagers.
97) Collection bag for when someone leaves. (Please give generously)
98) A flask to hold weak lemon drink.
99) Bra for strange shaped women.
100) Udder caps for leaky cows.
101) Bull horn covers.

Why You Should Travel To Africa

Hi!

So how was your weekend? How is this new week going so far? I hope according to the plans, and even if its not, keep your head up as it is not over till its over.

When I have a bad day, my escape route is through books!! My mother encouraged me to read at a very early age. I even recall her getting me kid friendly books when I was in primary school, when I was already reading James Hadley Chase books.lol. I was never a Mills and Boons girl, give me a good thriller and am good to go..but I digress

As an avid reader I come across some incredible books that cut across several genre. One of them, Swahili for the broken hearted was very impressive. It was full of adventure, suspense, and a huge dollop of humour. It tells the story of Peter Moore, veteran backpacker, who was dumped by his girlfriend and as a result, decided to travel round Africa. From Capetown to Cairo to be specific and by the cheapest available means!!! This novel is very gritty and realistic, at least from the view of an European tourist. It had me rolling in laughter in several places. I dont want to give any single thing away but check it out if you are interested.

Speaking of travelling round Africa, here are a few secrets recommended by proud Africans. Very long but interesting read.

In Kumasi, Ghana, there is a sword half-buried into a stone: A symbol of Asante power.
Kwame, England



From the Simien mountains in Ethiopia to the Nyika Plateau in Malawi to a walking safari with bushmen in Zambia.
Mukesh Gupta, USA



There is a place just outside my home town of Bulawayo in Zimbabwe called Lumeni falls. It is a magical place. The first time I went there I felt as if I were the only person on earth. The clouds covered the low granite outcrops, and there were no human sounds. What better place is there?
A. Booyse, UK



I have heard the Arc of the Covenant is protected by a group in Axum, Ethiopia. This box contains the original tablet that the 10 commandments were written by God and this is recognized by Jews, Christians and Muslims.
Loren, Los Angeles, USA


In northern Ghana, the Larabanga Mosque remains a mystery to the people of Ghana.There is a legend that the mosque was built by God and it also houses a Holy Koran which also is believed to descend from heaven: A secret that continues to baffle!
Maxwell Eyram Afari, Ghanaian in Brazil


My Village Bambui in Cameroon, is the best in traditional healing and most Villages in Bamenda including my Bambui Village are best in harming people spiritually in their small Palm wine bars. Hence you can't live the bar to ease yourself without taking the rest of your wine with you. At times you are even poisoned from distance.
Tangang Protus Chungong, Bambui Cameroon



In our thriving rainforests, there is a tree species locally known as "nsorkor". It's rich in fluoride and that is why you see most Ghanaians with sparkling white teeth and naturally infectious smiles.
Kwame Boakye, Berekum, Ghana



Africa is perhaps the only continent that still boasts being culturally unspoiled. Its people and culture remain very much as they were thousands of years ago. From the Maasai of southeast Kenya to the tall Dinka of southern Sudan to diverse groups in west Africa, you can't possibly compare this to any other continent. Did you know that Africa is the only continent where cattle herders of Dinka are known to stand with one leg?
Marial Wuoi, USA


Africa has many kept secrets that the world will never know about. Example, in South-eastern Liberia, in the township of Tiaunta, in the District of Ynaboe, there is a certain river that strangers can not visit. In ancient days of tribal wars, this river protected citizens of this town from their enemies. Even today, strangers who venture at the river without the approval of the town's people will have have snakes to content with.
Roland, Liberian in the US



For me, Africa's best kept secret is Ngonnye Falls on the Zambezi in southwest Zambia. It is even more beautiful than Victoria Falls. It's difficult, but fun to get to. You have to wade across part of the river to see it. Breath-taking!
Nick Moore, UK



As an Ethiopian, I believe that The Ark of the Covenant is alive and well in Ethiopia. As it's also stated in the book, The Sign and the Seal: The Quest for the Lost Ark of the Covenant by British journalist Graham Hancock, Menelik (fathered by Israelite King Solomon and born to the Queen of Sheba from Ethiopia) took the Ark of the Covenant from ancient Jerusalem in the days of King Solomon.
Lydia Hailu, California



The walls or moat of Benin city of Edo state of mid-western Nigeria is a place to visit. It's a place you cannot forget because it is mysterious
Scott Odiase, Bologna, Italy



Cape McClear on Lake Malawi is one of the most beautiful places I've been to. The water is like so crystal clear that you don't need to scuba dive to see the colourful fish swimming about. The colours are amazingly beautiful. It's been a while since I visited, hopefully it's still as striking!
Wambui Ngugi, Canada

Some of the most splendid works of humankind are found in Ethiopia. Some of those wonders of this country are the rock-hewn churches of Lalibela, northern Ethiopia.
Berhane, USA

Interestingly, there are enormously plenty of sacred places in Africa that some people are unaware of. For instance, where I come from (Limi in Kajo-kaji) in Southern Sudan, there is what we call "Yige" a sacred place when rain fails, the elders of the village gather and blow it and rain will fall. It's here that the indigenous pay their tribute to the unseen god they call "Ngun" and their prayers are always positively answered. And it is believed that even fertility for both males and females can be restored at the Yige.
Dominic Woja Maku, Canada


The Kilwas of Tanzania have amazing ruins, some of which are the largest and most intact along the Swahili coast.
Beau Llewellyn, Canada


In Botswana about 35 kilometers north of the capital Gaborone, there is a village called Rasesa. At that village there is a huge foot-print said to be of one of the oldest persons in the country called "matsieng". The foot-print is on a rock and it is said during those times the rocks were not solid but soft hence the foot-print where "matsieng" was passing.
Epena Ngatangue, Botswana



I have visited Ethiopia several times. It is really a very rich country that offers a unique and extremely diverse combination of both natural and historical attractions. The natural attractions vary from the volcanic land scape of the Afar desert (cradle of man kind) to the temperate Bale and Simen mountains holding relatively few but extreamly diverse wild life. Historical records start at least 300 BC. I can't list everyting but the most beautiful place I have seen in my life is the Wonchi crater lake located at 3500 meters above see level. The rim of the lake is 500m deep. It is very calm, unpolluted, the green alpine vegetation on the rim of the lake is wonderful. It is realy Switzerland of Africa. Visit this lake in September.
Marcello K



In Machakos, there is an ancient tree with breasts sticking out, when you attempt to touch the breasts, or to cut it down, the tree cries out!
Malinda Harrahs, Kenyan in Germany



The perfectly shaped twin-hills of Somaliland nicknamed "Nasa Habloid" or "the Virgin's Breasts", located on the outskirts of the capital Hargeisa.
Jimaale Hashe, Somaliland



There is a cave in Ibwera, Tanzania nobody knows how far it goes because it is dark inside and there are feet carvings of a man, woman, a child and a dog on the rocks. I wish archeologists went there to know the age of the prints and what is in the caves.
Albina Milembe, Bangladesh


In the northern region of Togo lies the 'Tamberma' region. Barely accessible by road and untouched by modernisation, these incredible people are completely self-sufficient. They live the most simple of lives, in harmony with nature and their indigenous beliefs. Isn't it ironic how such an archaic way of life can teach us so many lessons about the society of war and conflict that we live in?
Rachel, England



In Benin, I visited several Tchouk markets. These markets hold many sellers of tchouk, which is a millet beer brew. The typical evening involves visiting different women and tasting their versions. If you enjoy the sample, then you sit and drink a full calabash. However, if you don't enjoy the particular flavour you are allowed to move on and sample other versions. This is an example of the cultures that are the true wealth of Africa.
Christopher Wormley, USA



There is a place in Kenya with a hill, which when you put a ball at the middle of the hill the force of gravity is not obeyed. Surprisingly the ball goes uphill instead of downhill!!!!!wierd. Can scientists explain that?
Swaleh, Poland



The beautiful and enormous churches carved out of the mountain in Lalibela, Ethiopia, deserve to be much better known than they are. The Arc of the Covenant, mentioned above, and supposedly housed in Axum, is unfortunately not available to viewing by the public. But that church compound, as well as the nearby Stelae field, is still well worth the visit. So, too, is the wonderful castle complex in Gondar. Throw in isolated island monasteries, the Blue Nile Falls, and a tremendous variety of other wonders, and I'm amazed Ethiopia isn't a lot more heavily touristed than it is.
Brendan Ritchie, Canada



We, from western Kenya, have the annual Luhyia/Maragoli festival, which normally happens from December 25th to the 3rd of January. In addition, we have the 'Crying stones' situated along the Kisumu-Kakamega main road. These stones are shaped like a human being: In between the neck and the rest of the body runs a stream of water that never dries up. This place is very sacred to us Luhyia people.
Elolo, Kenya/USA


Near Machakos in Kenya, there is a hill where water seemingly flows uphill when spilt onto the road.
K Shah, Kenyan in Australia



Victoria Falls is the most sublime wonder of the world, it is the smoke that thunders.
Fungai Mabhurukwa, United Kingdom



The eleven rock-hewn churches built in the 11th century by King Lalibela of Ethiopia are still considered the 8th wonder of the world. These churches are all made out of a single rock and have connecting tunnels. They are in the Wollo province of Ethiopia and are still being used by the Ethiopian Orthodox Christians.
Mseifu, USA



Have you heard of a bicycle made entirely of wood? I have given one to a museum and my children have one. They were made in Tanzania. Africa's creativity is its best kept secret, unfortunately.
Rodney Lobo, Norway



The Drakensberg Mountain range in South Africa has some of the most stunning scenery I've ever seen. With peaks over 11,000 feet, it is higher than the Alps - yet I'd never even heard of it until I came to South Africa.
Frederick Green, South Africa



Benin City, in the south west of Africa is a place to visit. Its ancient kingdom spread to Ashanti in Ghana. It had rings of very deep moats dug around it and its other principal towns in the olden days to ward off invaders. These moats are a wonder to people because they were dug at a time when there was no technological help. Alas, they are now filled with dirt! If only the depth could be maintained by periodic cleaning, it will be a great tourist place.
Comfort Adesuwa Ero, Canada



During my visit to Kenya in 1993, I was taken to Machakos, about an hour's drive from Nairobi. Just outside the town, there was a hill, and a group of small boys were standing along the roadside with bottles of water. For a few shillings, they would empty the bottles on a particular part of the road, and the water would flow up the hill rather than down. I captured this phenomenon on my video. I wonder if it is still there.
Ashok Kumar, UK



Somewhere in Lango or Apac district in northern Uganda exists a set of foot-steps in rock which is locally believed to have been made by the "first man" on earth. I believe people in the area call it "Ongom's foot steps", Ongom being that first human being. Does anybody know more about this?
Okello, Holland



I reckon that the bushmen of a tribe called Koma in Taraba state of Nigeria. Their simple life and hunting method holds much fascination. They know the healing elements of all the plants in the forest.The Koma would snap fingers with you instead of the standard handshake in greeting.
Chiazor, UK



In Botswana there are giant footprints about five metres in length at a place called Rasesa imprinted on rocks
Mufaweli Mubukwanu, UK



The Air Mountains in Niger. Beautiful mountains rising up from desert sands. Truly breathtaking sunrises and sunsets.
Stephanie Santos, USA



Rwanda is a treasure of different landscapes. From the savannahs of Akagera National Park in the East, to the green hills of central Rwanda, to Lake Kivu's shores in the West, to the tropical forest of Volcanoes National Park in the Northwest - one of the few remaining sites to see mountain gorillas in their natural habitats. Rwanda is indeed spectacular and you must see it for yourself.
Fish, United States



There are numerous treasures in Nigeria, like the mystical Obudu mountains which stretch across eastern Nigeria near the border with Cameroun, the ancient cities of Kano and Calabar, also the silver back mountain gorillas found only in the mountains of Obudu and remnants of past civilizations, like iron work left by the nok people and pottery left by the Igbo-Ukwu Obudu mountains
Ifeanyi Nwakwesi, NigeriaUK



In northern Mozambique, the ancient commerical center of Ilha de Mocambique is known for its fusion of African, Arab, and Indian cultural influences. One can visit several churches, mosques, and even an old Hindu temple packed onto a few square kilometers. The island's unique architecture is protected as a UNESCO world heritage site. The waters around the Ilha are home to tens of shipwrecks, some dating back to the fifteenth and sixteenth centuries.
Leila Chirayath, Cambridge, Mass. USA



Apart from the Sahara, Algeria has much more to give. Do you fancy skiing in the amazing Jurjura mountains in the Kabilye region, outside Algiers? If it's too cold, you can always take your skis down to the sandy dunes of the Sahara where a lot of poeple practice sand skiing and boarding!! It's a thrill to be doing these activities, but doing them in Africa gives you an even more amazing rush of adrenaline.
Rachida, London



Africa's best kept secret is the 'Sleeping Masai'. This range of hills is in the Rift Valley on the outskirts of Gilgil in Kenya. When you look at it, it appears to be a man lying down in perfect proportion hence its name the 'Sleeping Masai'.
Allan, Kenyan in England



I know Africa has the most to offer to the world: Sports, music, arts etc. I'm sure there are so many things in Ghana especially the Asante kingdom! The weaving of Kente cloth is a secret to the entire world because there is no weaving machine which can weave at the front and the back of th cloth. It is only in the Asante kingdom!
Daniel Okyere, Ghana



Zambia has the second largest game reserve in the world, and has the victoria falls. I think an area that would be worth investigating are stories about very dangerous snakes in some parts of the country. I'm told that there are areas which no human being would pass through because of rumours of very large snakes.
Haile, Zambia / Uk



In a little town called Chimanimani in the eastern Highlands of Zimbabwe, there is a place called Bridal Veil Falls. It's exquisite in its natural unspoilt beauty, the water falling like lace against the dark rocks with the deep green of the tree and foliage around it. The beauty makes the hairs on your neck stand on end.
Tsitsi, UK



Chinhoyi caves up north of Harare has a mysterious pool which has more than 60 channels running beneath it. Tens of divers perished in the pool. The water is clear and you can see gold at the bottom, but no one has riched the bottom. One of the channel is connected to Kariba dam, 120km away. Visit the place, don't try to dive.
Labiata, Zimbabwe


Education Ridge in Tamale, Ghana, has the most spectacular sunset one has ever set his eyes on. The sun appears very big, yellow and scary then gradually descends and vanishes in the Savannah horizon. It is a scene every sunset watcher should see.
Bako Kirki, Ghana


The Lola areas in the mountains of Nimba, southeast of Guinea, is the only place in the world where you can find the largest frogs in the world.
Tokpa Monnemu Zerekorey, Guinea/Conakry



I would like people to know about the three huge stones standing on top of each other, called "Kitmikayi" found in the western part of Kenya.
Janet Akinyi, Kenya



The most enchanting place I have ever seen is the natural formation of rocks located in the midst of the St. Paul River in the city of Arthington. This is a place where the earth shows the beauty and greatness of God's work. The serenity of this place is awesome!
Yata, Fullerton, USA



You need to be in my home area of Ankole to see the magnificent beauty of the people that God gave dominion over the beautiful secret places. My God, the people here are just so beautiful!
Graham Kateihwa, Mbarara, Uganda



Kakamega Forest, the only equatorial rain forest in Kenya, is famous for its diversity of butterfly species.
Tezira Lore, Kenya



The Table of the Sun Festival of Dance and Culture. This takes place every year in Mbarara western Uganda. It brings over 20 countries together with the aim of choosing the best dance group in the world. The festival attracts over 30,000 people. At this festival only clothes made in Africa is acceptable and only traditional drinks and culturally specific meals are allowed.

ll my votes for The Holy Arc of Covenant in Axum, Ethiopia, taken by Menelik, the son of Queen Sheba and King Solomon from the Temple Mount, Jerusalem.
Martin, Netherlands


The biggest tree in West Africa, which can be found in Akim Oda, a popular town in Ghana.
Alexander Adjekum, Ghanaian in Ohio, US.

Lyike is a popular inland lake in my village Amaba Isuikwuato in Abia State Nigeria. Before pipe borne water came to my village a few years ago, it provided more than 80% of the water used by the villagers. It is believed in some quarters that it provides security for the community and can cure some ailments. We use only calabash to scoop the water and do not go near it with slippers or shoes. Also you cannot go near it with any form of light or take photographs. The water is cleaned at least two times a year by selected women (those born and and married to men in the village). Any time I travel home, I visit this serene and virgin environment yet untouched by civilization.
Chinedu Ibeabuchi, Lagos, Nigeria

Standing on top of the hill called Kachwekano overlooking Lake Bunyonyi (second deepest in Africa) in Kabale district (South Western Uganda), the Muhavura ranges ahead can make your heart skip a beat. It's almost as if you can touch them.
Kanyima Twehamye, UK (Ugandan)



The ruins of Mapungubwe allow for a fascinating and unmatched glance at the social and political structures in Southern Africa over 500 years ago. The ancient City situated on the northern border of South Africa, was once a powerful trading city with Arabia and India. It developed into the largest kingdom in the sub-continent before being abandoned in the 14th century. Artefacts found within the walls of the city such as the "Golden Rhino" are symbols of this once powerful African Kingdom.
Gary, London

There is a place called Great Zimbabwe here in Zimbabwe. It's amazing. It's a whole ancient village built before colonisation that is made of granite stone only.
Natasha Mawarire, Zimbabwe



The fortified ruins at Djado, in Niger, are something of a mystery. They are huge , old and no one knows for certain who built them!!
Mike Barton, England

One of the best kept secrets in Africa are the caves found in Tassili Najjer in Algeria where you'll find paintings from a different era!
Begoña Belmonte, UK



Bujugali falls at the source of the White Nile in Uganda. One of the best white water rafting stretches in the world.
Andrew, UK



When I lived in Zimbabwe, we had near our house an ancient ringing rock that was used historically to warn people in the Honde Valley of approaching danger. When struck with another rock, the large rock rings like a bell. There are holes worn in the side from the centuries of use, but this rock is little known by anyone and is still there in the Nyanga mountains where I found it again not long ago.
Andrew, Ireland



The several golden Crosses and crowns, Maqdala Ethiopian Treasures, of Emperror Tewodros II looted by the British army and nowadays found in different museums in the UK are real hidden secrets. The British capture of Maqdala, Emperor Tewodros's mountain capital in north-west Ethiopia, took place in 1868, immediately after the Ethiopian monarch committed suicide to avoid falling into the hands of his enemies. The soldiers then looted everything in his castle and transported it to the UK.
Assegid, Ethiopia/Germany



The high plateau of Zomba in Malawi must rank as one of the finest landscapes in the world. Sombre yet beautiful and mysterious.
Mike Ashwood-Smith, Canada



There is a place called Wondo Genet South of Addis Ababa in Ethiopia. With it, an amazing variety of plants, a breath taking landscape completed with a natural hot spring is a magical place. It's ancient forests are some of the oldest. A recent fire has damaged some of the old trees. This will be an opportunity to focus some attention for its preservation.
Asfaw, California



Kakamega Forest! The last of the African Rainforests. With some of the most unique Flora and Fauna: Colobus Monkey, HornBills, Snakes, Orchids etc. It is under threat from deforestation. Please help preserve it.
Drupadsinh, Kenya



The Johannesburg War Museum has the only version of the Messerschimdt ME 292 night fighter. This is also part of the long tradition of the airforce in SA. The country has the second oldest airforce in the world and the creator of the SA airforce Jan Smuts was also instrumental in starting the oldest airforce in the world, the RAF.
Mone, South Africa

Location: Wase, Plateau State, Nigeria. During the summer birds of different species come to mate and breed in this place known as the Wase rock. This rock is symbol of life and strength for the locals (the Tarok and Jukuns). For centuries this rock has been worshipped and lately has become a tourist attraction.You need to there to understand.
Uche Njoku, England

In Patiko-Gulu Uganda on 'Got Patiko'- a small mountain, there is a trail of blood running from the top of the mountain downward, believed to be blood of victims of slave traders. The mystery is that after many years, even the heavy tropical rainfall has failed to wash it away!
Cankech JB, Uganda



In Zimbabwe, outside Bulawayo, there is a very big cave in Matopo called "Ilitshe likaNtunjambili", meaning The Rock with two Entrances. It is one of the most spectacular natural phenomenon in the world that one can never wish to miss. Not too far from there there are the Balancing Rocks of Matopo. It will be great to see the sites and then listen to the history attached to them. Zimbabwe is rich in natural resources, I love my country.
Mark Msimanga, Canada

You have read the testimonies, so what are you waiting for? The end of life? Right now, is the time to explore the Secrets Of Mother Africa!!

Mena

YOU DESERVE TO BE SEXUALLY ASSAULTED! AGREE OR DISAGREE?

Hello!!! :)

So, on facebook I once came across a page, whose owner proclaimed:

" A LADY THAT DRESSES PROVOCATIVELY IS BEGGING FOR IT AND DESERVES TO BE SEXUALLY ASSAULTED "

So I asked on my on page: To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement above?

The comments came in fast and furious!! Let me stop there so as not to influence any one's comments on this version.

So I ask this same question on my blog page. a. Do you agree or disagree in any way with the argument that someone deserves to be sexually assaulted based on how they present their sexual parts and why? b. Is your answer based on the gender of the person? i.e. Would your answer be the same if it were a man displaying his sexual parts?

1001 thanks for stopping by and/or commenting, have a splendid TGIF!!

Mena

Photo sources : Google images and the off side

This is a true story about two friends. One, a very serious born-again christian lady, the other is a ‘worldly’ lady...

Hiya!!

So I was browsing blogsville when I came across these stories. They claim to be true life stories with names adjusted for various reasons. I couldnt resist but bring some of them to them to my blog so readers who have gone though a similar experience can play agony aunt and give them solutions. Or you can even give them some tough love or better still, just give your candid thoughts.

Enjoy xx

This is a true story about two ladies. One is a very serious born-again christian sister named Kemi whereas the other is a ‘worldly’ sister named Funmi (names deliberately disguised, no surnames given). They both went to the Obafemi Awolowo University.
Funmi always had the attention of the boys since the JAMBite rush. She lost her virginity when she was in her first year of university within the first month after admission. Then, she had been very heartbroken about the loss and Kemi was there to comfort her.
In all, Funmi had already dated and 'known’ 5 guys by the time she was in part 3 (she totalled 7 guys by the time she finished from school) who all ‘used’ her and ‘dumped’ her. Kemi, on the other hand, didn’t date anyone - she didn’t have time for that.

This is an excerpt of a conversation when they were both in part 3 (300 level) in their room (they were roommates) in Moremi Hall.

Kemi: Funmi, you need to get your life on track and do the right things at the right time. Take me for example, I don’t have anytime for any boy right now, but just time for my studies, my church and the fellowship. All these boys will just use you and dump you and you will just cry and cry, eh!

Funmi: Kemi, am I crying?! I don’t know what to do! Akin left me for another girl-- a JAMBite. I caught him in bed with her in his room in quarters!

Kemi: Akin (pauses)...isn’t he the guy you aborted for? (pauses) What is wrong with you? What were you doing in his bedroom? You are a mess! You are like a prostitute...haba!

Funmi: Abeg, don’t judge me o, not everyone is holy-holy like you. By the way, how do you keep youself a virgin...me I like guys o, I like sex o...you know...it's like heaven!

Kemi: You must be a virgin on your wedding night o...you keep yourself undefiled by praying and staying focused...like me!

Funmi: OK o, but you should date a guy so you can learn about guys o, you know nothing about guys o....just saying!

Kemi: I don’t need to learn anything for now o, I am a child of GOD....I am a spirit-filled born-again sister, undefiled...not like you. When the time is right, GOD will provide me with the right guy at the right time.

Funmi: (pauses) you have started judging me again! (pauses) Why do you always do that...as if you are ‘better’ than me?

Kemi: .....but that is because I am....I don’t need to explain that, it’s obvious!

Funmi: (pauses) You know you should try to be less judgmental, you don’t know what tomorrow may bring for me...

Kemi: You will reap what you are sowing now...all your sex-sex-sex, you will probably get an STD and you will probably get pregnant again and you will probably abort again....your sins will multiply....just saying o! A word is enough for the wise!

Funmi: ....and you? What will you reap?

Kemi: Aaah, everything - good husband, good children, good life...(singing praise song till fade)

....that was 15 years ago.

Today, Funmi (age 36) has four children, and a very good husband. Kemi is unmarried, very single at age 37 and desperately searching.

Very complex one oh!! Right?

Mena

To whom it may interest: A fan's devotion to Jeta Amata

Hi folks. If you are a big fan of Nollywood, especially its filmmakers, then read on..

My Hollywood movie

Something funny seems to be going on in Nigeria. Everyone who goes to Los Angeles and puts some faceless individuals in his or her movie comes back to Nigeria to say I shot a Hollywood film. Such ignorance. The culprits include Stephanie Okereke and her hot mess Through the glass, Lancelot Imasuen, Chineze Anyeane, King Joe and some others. Anchor Baby is a movie I have not seen, it has much hype, its has been said that its not all that great, but what I like is that it is moving like a lion. It has won awards at actual festivals and stars Sam Sarpong and some recognizable names, yet, it has not gone anywhere to say that it is a Hollywood film. At least not that I have heard. It has 25,000 fans on facebook. It is not doing great at the cinemas because of course, the box office breaker Genevieve Nnaji is not in it and the people is stars are really not that dear to anyones heart. I call that unfair, but Chineze did an impressive job in marketing, people need to learn from her.

Sorry, I digressed. I want to give kudos to the only bonafide Hollywood filmmaker in Nigeria, Jeta Amata.

He is the only one who can say “I have made a Hollywood film” because his films are on Netflix and they are guild films. Funny enough, no one talks about him. No praise, nothing. They only run after the clanging empty barrels. I read a headline that said “How a student film changed nollywood” (ije) and I was offended. I said, so what have Jeta Amata and Tunde Kelani been doing all this while? Ije, a student film, supervised by professors in class, and Inale, Black Gold, Amazing Grace made by an independent filmmaker who went to hustle to raise his financing. Is it really Ije that has redefined Nollywood? Absolutely nothing special about the film, the trailer for Jeta’s Hollywood star studded Black Gold has not changed Nollywood, neither did his Amazing Grace which I watched on Netflix and can rent from blockbuster.

How can we so soon forget people who set the pace? What makes a movie a Hollywood film? A film is a Hollywood film if it pays allegiance to the guilds of Hollywood and if it is distributed by Hollywood.

If you have not seen the massive trailer for Jeta’s black gold. This is the film that will redefine Nollywood. Jeta was mentioned in variety.com and CNN and Hollywood reporter. I am yet to read about Ebuwa and Ije in any international film print. Kodak wrote on Ije because Ije was shot on a Kodak grant. But jeta and Kunle are simply doing massive things.

Please give credit where it is due.

Lovely, well written piece on Black Gold and its producer. The movie seems interesting..what do you think?. If you have seen it, do you agree with this write up?

Cheers
Mena