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Monday, 16 July 2018

Why 12th of July?



Why 12th of July '18? It could have been any other day but that day remains one of the worst days...
The effects of that day continues and today she is just about to face it, the next few hours she will face it..





She has used all methods of escapism and now there is no more.
As one who. even on a normal day, worries a bit about events occurring a million miles away, in the last few days, she has worried as deeply as she can and has been as anxious as humanly possible..
Her circle do not know the level of turmoil she is going through so they remain innocent and completely blameless.
The few who knew, even with no details, were deeply concerned and also remain blameless
The last sentence of encouragement she recalled was 'U shall absorb whatever comes' (sic) but she is not so sure...
..what she is sure of is that once again she feels alone as one foot steps forward and the other foot follows in this path of life..
..what she is sure of is that her heart beats very fast as she takes deep breaths preparing to face    whatever today, 16th July, may bring as consequences...
..what she is sure of is if she survives today, she will be spending more time writing
...and now, as unprepared as she is...the time is UP

Tuesday, 26 June 2018

We held on to each other as I slowly took off her thong with my teeth....

Hello!

So I was alarmed at the number of young people not taking their sexual health seriously. By young I mean from the age of consent to 22yr old.

I would have thought with the rise and rise of instant!information on all topics, the igeneration would be more worldly wise? Who would have thunk that??

I think its time for a repost, presenting the evergreen moral lesson, written by Obi Eze.......




From across the street, the sign at the clinic didn’t look as inviting as it did last week. It took a while before I could force myself to cross over to the other side. I walked in and said a muted “good morning” to the nurse/receptionist.
I guess she was used to people being apprehensive on the day they picked up their test results, and she replied with a cheery “Welcome sir, and how are you today?” I managed a smile and handed over my card.
“Sir, you will be required to see our counselor before picking up your test results”, she said without looking at the card.
“I already did, last week when I came for the test…she signed my card”
“Ah…alright then. Hmmm…your results have been ready since the last 4 days."
"Yeah..I was like, out of town". My excuse sounded lame.
"Please give me a couple of minutes sir, I’ll be right with you”
It turned out to be the longest 2 minutes of my life…I sat in the reception chair with my hands clasped between my knees. There were a 2 other people seated in the reception room but, as if by an unspoken agreement, we simply refused to acknowledge each other's presence. I guess everyone had a lot on our minds right about then.
I leaned my head back on the wall behind me and picked a spot on the white ceiling to keep my eyes locked on, allowing my mind to be flooded by the muted music coming from hidden speakers… “Gad…you gotta help me out here”, I prayed silently…
I tried to keep my mind focused on happy thoughts and on the other things I had to do for the rest of the day, just to while away time, but my mind kept going back to memories of how I got here in the first place.



.............................................................................

My job used to take me around a lot…and I get to be “out of station” sometimes for months on end. I was in the old Energy city for about 3 months…sometimes for up to 3 weeks at a stretch, working on building a centre for one of the communication companies here. I stayed at a small hotel in a quieter part of town…just a place I could kick back after being on my feet for most of the day on site. Being a loner (usually), it was my kinda place: small, hidden and quiet. My cousin often came around to drag me out on weekends and take me around town though. Most other times I just stayed in my hotel room, watching movies on my laptop or working, creating a “sound wall” of loud rock music.
Towards the end of the building project, a number of the advance staff from the communications company started coming around, “to beta test the place”, like they said anyway.

That’s when I met Nancy.

Smallish, bookish, academic type…shrill voice, big eyes, wearing a shoulder-length weave, acrylic nails..legs that looked great in heels, her skirts were always cut above her knees...hmmm, not bad!
I actually didn’t notice when she came on site. I just started getting reports from some of the construction workers still on site doing remedial work that there was this “bitch of a woman” giving them hell…complaining about any and everything.
“Just do what you need to do, so we can get out of here”, I told them.
On that fateful day though, I was in my make-shift office, in the still-unfinished space meant for “phase 2” of the project, working on my snag-list for the building, when this cute chick walks up to my desk..
“Are you Mr. Obi?”
“Er..yeah?”
“Can you come with me for a minute; I need to show you something”
She led me towards the back of the building…I noticed the construction workers we passed on the way there, who usually gave nods of acknowledgement anytime I walked passed them, did their best to stay away from her path.
“How come there’s water in the underground tank, but no water in the bathrooms?” she asked, pointing to the full underground water storage tank..
“Excuse me, I REALLY must apologise for that”, I answered “we didn’t expect the company staff in till Monday. The booster pumps are being delivered tomorrow and will be installed and tested over the weekend”
“Well I hope so, my people are coming in on Monday, and we expect to have fully functioning offices”
“Promise, cross my heart” I said (or something to that effect).
I guess maybe it was the “authority” in her voice that intrigued me…or maybe I had been away from civilization for too long.

I hung out with my cousin that weekend...we both went out to the building site first. She wanted to see what I had been working on all this while and I wanted to make sure the pumps were installed.
“Nice work you’ve done here”
“Thanks, I should be out of your hair by next week-ish”
“Na wa o..will miss you jarey”
“Yeah yeah”
“Hey, I almost forgot…a friend of mine, we went to secondary school together, she called me last weekend that she’s been transferred here by her office, a communications company”
“..and her name is??” I asked, wrinkling my forehead.
“Nancy..you know her?”
"Oh jeeez..!!"

I got in early on Monday to make sure everything was working right…I just HATE it when the advance staff comes to take over their building before I’m out of there...they complain about EVERYTHING…I want a socket here…My desk will be here, can I have a light point over it?...Do we have to share bathrooms with the HOD?...Can we have more power outlets in the kitchen…Can this window be widened??
Sheesh…if I remained here long enough, the ass-wipes will be asking for jacuzzi’s in their offices…
I don’t really know why, but I kept an eye out for Ms. Nancy…the place was getting busy with staffers sorting out their furniture and stuff. I spotted her waving at me from amidst her “people”, and she gave me a thumbs-up sign…I guess she knows the pumps are working now. I went off to my office to sort out my hand-over reports..

Thursday: I was supposed to be back in the Lagos office by Friday morning and I was waiting for the driver to come take me to the airport today. I had confirmed my flight for 4:30pm and called him, asking him to come pick me up by 1:30pm..it would take a two and a half hour speed drive to the airport and it was still 11:30am, so I still had a couple of hours to burn. I decided to stroll around the site one last time before I leave, maybe take a few final “after” pictures. Again, I don’t really know why, but I ended up in Ms. Nancy’s office. They were having an early lunch, or celebrating their new offices…a bunch of food packs were on a table at one corner of the office.
“Hey, Obi…you hungry? Join us na”
“Sure...why not?”
I grabbed a food-pack and a coke, then sat in her “visitors’” chair and we ended up talking for a while..about the building, about my cousin, her secondary school, varsity, MY secondary school and varsity…she turned out not to be such a hard-nosed bitch after all. The driver finally showed up at about 1:00pm and waited in the car downstairs. I sent him a food pack down to keep him busy. As I was about to leave Nancy, I leaned forward to plant a kiss on her cheek..I noticed she moved her head away just a tad, but stilled allowed the kiss..hmmmm..

Plane touched down in Lagos about 5:45pm...flight was a bit rough, but I guess around here these days, any flight that lands in one piece was a good one. I had just switched my phone on when a text message came in..
“Did u hav to kiss me in front of my workers? I dont tink dat was necessary, did u? Hope u had a safe trip– Nancy”
Hmph, drama…well, at least now I had her number (it hit me just then that I forgot to ask her for it...how the heck did she get mine?)
Stressed out with Lagos traffic and the “no light” wahala when I got home, I had almost forgotten about her till just after midnight. Bored with writing my report, I wondered if it was too ungodly an hour to be calling her…decided on sending a text..
“Sorry if I embarrassed u in front of ur subordinates..wasnt my intention. Got back 2 Lag ok. Thanx 4 d rice”
Reply came in half a minute later
“Dats ok..glad u got home safe”
Hmmm….a fellow night owl..cool..!!

Anyway, what followed was about 2-3 months of all-day text messages and funny/generic emails, late night hours long calls, phone sex..and this was before happy-hour was invented (hey, she worked with a cell-phone service company, they get free air-time) etc.

She called quite early one Saturday morning...
“Hey, Obi…a colleague of mine is on leave in Lagos…could you text me your address so I can send it to her. I gave her a something for you, she needs to know where she can drop it off”
“Er..sure”
The cute chick lying next to me groaned as she turned to face me..
“Who was that?", she whispered sleepily.
“Friend…no biggie”
“Shit..it’s still dark…wake me up at 7:00 jo..I’ve got lectures today”
“Sure”
Mandy was a “friend”…met her a few years earlier, and she went to Varsity close to where I lived. She had come over to hang out for the weekend. I sauntered off to the living room to watch early Saturday morning cartoons (at least we had light now; I better enjoy it while it lasts). Slumped on the couch and sent off the text to Nancy.
Woke Mandy up at 7:15, made her breakfast while she showered, and she later left for campus. It was almost noon while I was taking a shower when Nancy’s call came in..
“Hi Obi..my friend’s having a little trouble finding your place, I’m gonna ask her to call you now, so you can you give her directions..??”
“Yeah..sure”
Her friend called me thirty seconds later (she seemed to be giggling a tad too much). I asked her to hand her phone over to the cab-driver and I gave him directions. It wasn’t till I hung up that it occurred to me that Nancy might actually be with her in the car…and they were both on their way to my place!!
They arrived at my door about 15 minutes later, with Nancy carrying a suitcase (Uh-oh!)
“SURPRIIIISE!!”
“Yeah right” I thought…“Heeeey, welcome to Lagos” I said.
We all hung out at my place for a while…gisting and laughing…for about an hour before seeing her friend off.

We were hardly through the door when we got back before we practically went at each other like starved pit-bulls…she was every inch as crazy as I imagined and more.
Second time around was less frenzied…but just as mind-blowing, she was quite the gymnast.
Doorbell rang about 3 hours later (Shit...I had forgotten about Mandy!!)
Long story short…plenty of drama that night with Mandy throwing a SERIOUS tantrum and me having to do a suicide watch over her all night, and then Nancy having a girl-talk with her at 5am in the morning about the “unreliability of men” and the “need NOT to take any of them seriously” (What the heck…was THAT supposed to be helping??)...I mean, I sat there and watched them have a conversation about me like I wasn’t even in the room…weird!!

I had gone back to Energy city about 3 months later to see about starting phase 2 of the building project. Not surprisingly I stayed at Nancy’s place this time, and not at the hotel. I stayed only one night though.
We had gone back to phone calls...emails and text messages for more than another year, and it seemed like the long-distance relationship syndrome was taking effect. No expectations, no promises, no nothing (drama free, just like I preferred it).

Then one night she called me and asked if I was driving…

I said yes, I was still on my way home from work. She said she’d call me again later that night and hung up.
That was strange…she wasn’t sounding like her usual cheery self.
She called again at about 10:30pm..
“Hey Nancy…yeah, I’m home. Are you ok?”
“No…not really...was at my doctor’s a couple of weeks ago”
“Whoa…what’s wrong?”
It turned out that she was supposed to have a surgical procedure done, and had taken preliminary blood tests 2 weeks earlier which turned up showing that she was HIV positive…she confirmed it a week later and decided to call and tell me about it…Now THAT was a total mind-fuck for me. Torn between having to console her about the discovery, asking her about the up-coming surgery, and worrying about whether I was also infected, I only managed to fumble through my words on the phone. I could hardly put a coherent thought together, much less a sentence. The rest of our conversation was more of a blur…all I could hear was the blood pounding in my head.
She seemed to sense the turmoil I was going through at the time and started telling me words I would later hear almost verbatim from a counselor a week later. She encouraged me not to space out, to go take a test and take it from there. Needless to say, there was NO sleep for me that night.

First thing was to get a test done, right? Shit..I had NEVER had an HIV test done before...I know where they had a clinic close to a pal’s place at Yaba, but I’ve never been in there before.. it took me 2 days and 3 visits to the clinic before I could work up the nerve to walk through the door. I tried to look cheerful as I approached the nurse. Told her what I came for and she gave me a 2-page form to fill. Then had a counseling session…the counselor seemed to have assumed I already tested positive…and advised me on “appropriate behaviour”, diet, exercise and attitude “in case I tested positive”. Then it was off to the little room..a nurse came to take a blood sample from my arm. She seemed to be trying not to look me straight in the eye…quite disconcerting, that.
“Ok..that’s it”, said the counselor when I went back to her office, cotton swab on the needle entry point. “The results should be ready in a couple of days, you can come back then to pick it up”.
I said my thanks and stepped out into the street. Everything was different from then on. Work, play, eating, sleeping…nothing felt the same anymore.
It took me another week to finally go down to the clinic again….

...........................................................................................................

“Mr. Obi Eze?”
“Yes?”
The nurse had finally come back to the reception…
“This way sir”
She led me back to the counselor’s office…who waited till the receptionist left before addressing me. I noticed my pulse had become fast, heavy thuds in my ears..
“Mr. Obi, I wont mince words with you sir, your results are out and they don’t look too good. I’m afraid it came back positive”
I almost didn’t hear the words she said…my heart was pounding so loud in my ears, I felt it was going to explode right there...the room seemed to sway a bit. My forehead became instantly wet.
“Are you sure”, I said when I finally trusted myself to speak; I couldn’t even recognize my own voice…
“We triple-check these things, sir..it’s totally fool-proof”
She then went on to repeat most of what she said in the earlier counseling sessions, consoling me as best she could (or rather, as best her training could afford her)…I didn’t catch most of what she was saying, anyway…it was all a blur.
“Do you have any idea how you could have been infected”
I thought about Nancy then, but just shook my head…still in shock
“Have you had any intimate contact with anyone in the last 3 months?”
Still all I could do was shake my head. She didn’t seem convinced though…I’m sure she thought I wasn’t even listening to her (she was right).
“You might have to call anyone whom you feel you might have infected, and tell them to get tested…even if it’s just a routine test”
I nodded this time, looking at the floor…

She wrote out prescription drugs, re-emphasising the need for proper diet and exercise.
“There’s still life Mr. Obi…and so there’s still hope, you HAVE to live your life as carefully as you can from now on... Come back in another month for some more tests and evaluations, and we’ll see..ok?”
She said a few more practiced words of encouragement and even saw me to the door (I guess that was a gesture reserved for the VIP patients).
I stopped at the receptionist’s to make an appointment for the next month. Funny...she no longer seemed as cheery as she was when I came in.
The sun was bright when I stepped onto the street…people were walking along without cares in the world, kids playing on the street. It would have been a perfect day…if only..if only…
Everything was different now, plans I had might have to change, promises I made to people…things I wanted to do…ALL that has to change now.
“Damn”, I thought, as I crossed the street to where I parked.

Stopping at a phone card shop on my way home, I loaded my phone with air-time.
I had a few long calls to make…

My thoughts: The above piece, titled 'HIV+...so what next..??' was written by today's featured author Obi Eze








Sunday, 20 May 2018

Amazing advice for ALL generation— written in 1997 by Mary Schmich,

Hi, 

I hope you are very well. :-)






Its been a while I shared anything here. Life happened and is still happening. Might share a bit if motivated or....might close it, if not.

Lately, I  have been thinking about how life simply does not come with a manual, and somehow I remembered these lyrics and it contains some valuable advice.

They are from a famous essay — written in 1997 by Mary Schmich, a columnist with the Chicago Tribune, I hope this means something to you, in whatever stage you may be, in your journey in life.
.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '97.
Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience...


I will dispense this advice now. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked...


You're not as fat as you Imagine.
Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind.
The kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.


Do one thing everyday that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy;
Sometimes you're ahead,
Sometimes You're behind.
The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults;
If you Succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with yourLife.
The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.


Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.
Whatever you do, don't Congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either.
Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body, Use it every way you can... Don't be afraid of it, or what other people Think of it,
It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.


Dance
... even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.


Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings;
They are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.



Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will Philander, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you.
Maybe you have a trust fund, Maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

But trust me on the sunscreen...

Brother and sister together we'll make it through
Someday your spirit will take you and guide you there
I know you've been hurting, but I've been waiting to be there
For you. And I'll be there, just tell me now, whenever I can.
Everybody's free.





Reference: Baz Lurhman   
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xavFb4WH7o0

Very powerful..even 21yrs after it was published!! But thats my opinion, did it make any sense to you? 

Thanks for reading, :-)
Mena



Monday, 20 June 2016

THINGS TO DO WHEN YOUR SPOUSE UNEXPECTEDLY DIES

Hello and Welcome,

I hope you are very well. I have not blogged in a while and I apologise, there has been so many changes to adjust to and unplanned events kept coming up.

Do pardon me from regular blogging as I am still adjusting, however I do this for a dear sister and friend who has asked us to share, she recently lost her husband and has some tips. She is African American but some of her lessons may actually help some of us.

Death is such a forbidden topic especially in Nigeria, perhaps Africa, and yet even after the death of a loved one, the family left behind have to survive through the shock, the changes and adjustments. 

                           

Enough with my ramblings here is what bougieblackgirl has to say on sudden unexpected bereavement;

I just lost my wonderful husband. my husband of 14 years, Joseph, our family’s provider and protector died from a brain aneurysm last week. He was only 34 years old.
Let me be honest with you, I’m devastated, in shock and in some form of denial. When someone called me a widow I was heartbroken. How am I writing? Well writing for you brings me solace.
You see right before he died, everything seemed so normal. We dropped the kids off at school, I went food shopping and we did our normal routine. Within hours he was found unconscious and later declared brain-dead. I asked myself if I was there would he had survived. Why I didn’t see the signs? What could have I done differently? Unfortunately, there was nothing no one could’ve done. Even after knowing all that, I’m still questioning myself.
How am I dealing? It’s been rough. I can’t sleep at night. I force myself to eat and I cry almost every time I’m reminded that he’s gone. The irony is he’s all I want to talk about. It’s hard living in this house because everything in our bedroom is exactly where he left it before he died. I kept it that way. I can’t imagine moving his things. His bottle of water is on his end table. His gum is on his side of our dresser. He’d prepared his work clothes to be taken to the dry cleaners and they’re right where he left them. He was an old school military man raised by old school folks. You know how we military people are. Everything had to be freshly starched.



Even though I’m grieving, I learned so much from this ordeal.
There are also many important steps we must take after a spouse dies. If you ever have to go through this nightmare or you want to prepare for when it happens (because we all die) here is what I need you to do…
1. Lean on your support system. You’ll need them now more than ever for advice, protection and a shoulder to cry on.
2. Find all of your legal documents. This includes birth certificates, social security cards, a DD214 if they were in the military; insurance policies, etc. (Please put them in a safe place so that everyone knows where everything is.)
3. Contact your spouse’s creditors. Some credit card/loan companies have insurance to cover your loved ones debt if they die. We all die so ask your creditors if you can sign up for it and take it. You don’t want you or your loved ones to have the added burden of debt after a spouse’s death.
4. Contact your spouse’s bank to have the funds transferred over to you, if you don’t have a joint account. If your spouse has a debt with the bank, the bank can seize your spouse’s assets to clear up the debt. If they have a debt, contact an attorney before informing the bank. One more thing! Make sure your spouse lists you as the beneficiary on their accounts. If they haven’t, do it NOW.  My hubby had his account before he married me.  I am lucky. Some people aren’t when it comes to death and money. If you aren’t the beneficiary, his other family may contest it. To protect you and your spouse, have them change it.
5. Create a budget to track spending and stick to it. Include bills and money coming in.
6. Find out what bills were paid, what bills are due and pay them. This includes car notes, insurance payments, utility bills, etc. I’ve just had to pay tons of bills including part of my husband’s funeral costs.
7. Cancel your spouse’s drivers license to prevent ID fraud. There are vultures out there. To prevent being a victim of identity theft, contact your state licensing agency.
8. Contact your spouse’s employer and old employers for insurance policies, pensions and 401ks to begin the beneficiary process. When you contact your job’s HR department, ask how long you will keep your spouse’s healthcare. Also ask about their last paycheck and ask how you can begin the claim process. You will also get access to their retirement, if they have one.  (We all die so get a will, GET LIFE INSURANCE and save for retirement!)
9. If your spouse is an organ donor like mine was, make sure you understand what it means. You don’t have to do it. If you do, I applaud you. Get the representative of the donor organization explain in full detail what they are taking and the condition your spouse will be left in. I had a witness (his mom) in the room with me.
10. When we picked out a funeral home we asked for recommendations from family members. Ask around! Our family made an excellent choice. We went with a Black owned funeral home that did a spectacular job. When meeting with the funeral director they will ask you if you want a full funeral with burial, cremation with or without a service, etc.  Funerals are expensive.  Here is a tip. Let them know up front you only have a set amount of money to pay for the funeral. I negotiated prices with the funeral home. You can too. Stick to your budget and don’t spend more than you can. Some relatives will pressure you to spend more, but they aren’t paying for the funeral services. You are! Lovingly ignore them. I’ve had relatives who spent in the five-figure range for another relative’s funeral. Don’t do it!
11. Once you’ve set the dates with the funeral home for your spouse’s service and  set up the burial:
  • Contact the place of service if it is not at the funeral home.
  • Contact the funeral participants and confirm their attendance.
  • Create a program. You can have the funeral home design it or you can design it yourself. If you do design it, you will save hundreds of dollars. That’s what I did. I am self-taught in Photoshop, Indesign, etc.  I made the program just the way my hubby would want it. You can also get pre-made pamphlets designs. All I paid for was the printing. The funeral home will charge you for the number of pages printed in each program.
  • Ask yourself will there be a repass? If so, are you using a caterer? If you need to save money, let family cook or have everyone bring a dish.  Do what works for you.
  • Get the word out about the funeral and burial date and time. Since my hubby was young and his friends were online, I used social media using images expressing the date and time of his funeral. If the person is older go where your spouse’s friends are.
12. Next you will have to pick out an outfit for your spouse. Some funeral homes will sell you one. My hubby was a straight suit and tie guy so I supplied them with a white tee-shirt, black socks, a complete suit, underwear and tie. After dressing your spouse they will ask you to view your spouse before the funeral. Please have someone there with you when you do this. I had my mother-in-law, my sister and my brother-in-law there. It is incredibly jarring to see your loved one in a casket. I will be honest. It broke my heart because I had to face the realization my husband wasn’t coming back. I miss him so much.
13. Once the funeral is over, get multiple death certificates from the funeral home.  You need this document for #3 and #8 during the claim process.
14. Don’t forget to send out thank you cards. This is simple etiquette. I’m doing mine now. Some funeral homes offer them for free. Use them.
15. Go to benefits.gov to see what government benefits you are and your children (if you have any) are entitled to after a spouse dies. Make sure you have your family’s social security numbers, birth certificates and your proof of your marriage. You’ll need them to go through with federal survivor benefits.
16. Ignore the pressure to give away your spouse’s items before you are ready. My hubby died a few days ago and I still haven’t moved his stuff. Yes, people have asked for his things, but I told them to wait.
17. Get a lawyer if you need one. They are there to protect you.
18. Grieve in your own way and seek counseling. My kids and I start counseling next month. Do it.
19. Finally live your life. Life is so short. If something or someone isn’t making you happy change your situation. We take life for granted when it is really a precious gift.
These past few weeks have been the hardest in my life. There are days when I’m too tired to do anything and there are nights where all I want to do is cry. I know things will get better.My husband’s death has devastated to my sons. They cope in their own ways. My oldest is like me, reserved. He asks questions and then goes back to his space. My youngest is hurt, but needs to be around people who love us. We’re lucky. My husband has an amazing family and a group of friends and we have you who are helping us get through this trying time.


                



I’m not done yet. I have one more thing to tell you. People will probably get mad at me, but I want you to focus on the one word I used throughout this post. What was the one word I used over and over? The word was spouse. Now just imagine if I was just a girlfriend after 14 years of co-habitating?  I wouldn’t have been able to make the medical decisions or even have access to his room before he died. I wouldn’t have had access to our car or even have a legal right to stay in our home. I wouldn’t have had a legal say in his funeral arrangements.  I’d be at the mercy of his family. Luckily they aren’t like that, however, like I said before, some people are. Just imagine. I’d be in probate for my sons’ inheritance. That can take months and even years depending upon who contests it. Who wins? The lawyers! So before people say marriage is just a piece of paper, I’m proof that is so much more. Look, marriage ain’t for everyone but it’s easier when you are dealing with the passing of a spouse.
Please consider protecting your family and yourself. Get insurance and a will, keep your documents in a secure place and make sure your beneficiary information is up to date.  Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts, prayers and support. I love you so much!!!
The only limit you have is the one you have is the one you have placed on yourself. Think and be limitless.

Bougie Black Girl 

Mena says: This is a very strong minded, opinionated beautiful friend and even in her grief she still cares for others by sharing this in her blog (in reference within this blog) and allowing for it to to be shared. This is the 5th unexpected death news I have heard so far and each of them, have families still trying to adjust to the new situation. It is not easy! Please visit her blog and if you want to, kindly support in what way you can. May J's (BBG's hubby) soul RIP and may God grant the survivors favour, Grace and peace to go through this difficult period. Amen 

Friday, 22 January 2016

MAN WRITES REASONS WHY MEN SHOULD NOT WASTE THEIR TIME DATING SINGLE MOTHERS




(If you’re a single mother, you won’t like this..:-)) An American author named Shawn James this week wrote a controversial essay titled ‘Why Real Men Avoid Single Mothers’ – detailing 15 reasons why men should not date single mothers. It’s got people talking.

1. Never Available. A single Mother’s schedule is never open. Single mothers are the kind of women to always cancel dates at the last minute. Something always gets in the way of a man spending time with her. It’s hard to have a relationship with her because she’s never there.
2. YOU are NOT a priority. Usually in a relationship the man winds up DEAD LAST. Behind, her kids, her job, the car, the kitchen sink, the stopped up toilet. Even the dog gets more attention and affection than a man involved with a single mother. Any man who gets involved with a single mother winds up a fifth stringer in a relationship. And he rarely ever gets called up to play.
3. Thinks the world revolves around HER and ONLY HER. A single mother is one of the biggest narcissists on the dating scene. She often thinks that a man has to drop everything in his life to be part of hers and her kids. They’re so selfish they don’t think a man has needs, wants or a life of his own. He’s just supposed to be there to give her everything she wants in life.
4. Emotionally Unavailable- Most Single mothers cannot form an intimate connection with a man because her feelings are invested in other people. Usually her primary focus is on her children.
In addition to dedicating herself to her children, most single mothers have given their hearts to someone else- their children’s father. And those feelings she still has for him will always prevent her from getting closer to you. There will always be some distance between a single mother and the new man in her life.
5. The ex/ Baby Daddy is ALWAYS THERE. A man just doesn’t deal with a single mother. He deals with her ex or her baby daddy as well. And this guy is always hovering around like a helicopter looking to c*ckblock you. Some of these guys still think they have a shot at getting back with her. Others just don’t want to see her happy. A lot of these dudes want to f!ght over her.
Seriously, it’s a game they’re playing with each other. And they’ll be playing that game with each other until their children turn 18 or 21. Head for the exit. It’s just not worth dealing with this fool and his insecure bullshyt.
6. The kids are working AGAINST YOU When dealing with a single mother you also deal with Kids. Kids who still in their little heart of hearts think that Dad will come back and love them.
Seriously, GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE.
7. Those kids will HATE YOU. They will act out to keep you from getting closer to mommy. They will make accusations against you to get you in trouble. Again, it’s just not worth dealing with the bullsh*t to get with a female. There are four billion women in the world. You can find a quality female who doesn’t carry all this baggage or give you this much grief.
8. Entitled attitude Single mothers think because she had a baby out of wedlock the world owes her EVERYTHING. And she thinks she’s the one who deserves the best. Even though she’s usually collecting welfare, food stamps, or child support, in eyes she’s still supposed to be treated like she’s a queen because she popped a kid out of her v*gina.
In their deluded distorted vision of the world Men are still supposed to take her out to the finest restaurants and buy them lots of expensive stuff. And he’s supposed to take care of her kids too, buying them whatever they want while taking a blind eye to their bad behavior.
9. Distorted self-image Single mothers still thinks she’s as sexy like she was before she had a baby. Only she doesn’t understand how her body has changed. In some cases for the worse.
Single mothers are the type to try to squeeze themselves into sexy outfits like low-rise jeans and cropped T-shirts to show off their belly button, not seeing the muffin top and stretch marks squeezing out over the top of their pants. They’re the type to stuff themselves into slinky spandex dresses, (not aware of that gut, and the cellulite on their asses) and head out to the club. She thinks men are supposed to run up on her offering to buy her drinks. And because a few thirsty simps step to her, she thinks she’s still got it. But the only people who wants what she has to offer are scavengers at the bottom of the social scene.
10. Always the victim. Single Mothers never take responsibility for their actions. The situation they’re in is always the fault of that “no good man”, “these damn kids” their mother or someone else. They never take any time to do any self-examination or make any efforts to change their lives. They’re still looking for some Rich Incredibly Handsome Man™ to put on a cape and play Captain Save-A-Hoe™, sweep her off her feet and take her out of the troubling situation she helped make.
11. Jekyll & Hyde Personality. A single mother will be the sweetest thing when a man first dates her, but a few months into a relationship she turns into a NUTJOB. A man will usually see glimpses of this when she chastises her kids when he first meets them. During that meeting she’ll yell at them and bully them to get them to act right while praising a man like he’s an angel.
It’s all an act. Heaven will turn into Hell around the six month mark.
Once a single mother gets a man settled into her life it’s not common for her to start verbally abusing him and mocking him as she projects all that pent-up rage from those previous failed relationships onto him. And it’s usually around this point that most men realize why this woman is single and why it’s time for him to hit the exit door.
12. Drama Queen. Because a single mother always sees herself as a victim of society, she’s always talking about her problems. And she always has a new trouble to bring everyone. There’s never a good day in the life of a single mother because there’s always some new crisis about to emerge in her life.
The reason single mothers need the drama is because it makes them feel important. It makes people pay attention to them. And when Captain-Save-A-Hoe™ is doting on them trying to solve their problems it makes them feel an artificial sense of value. They need that value to deflects people’s attention from how pathetic their lives actually are.
Manipulative In most cases, a single mother has no interest in a man she’s dating. In a lot of cases she’s just using a guy as a pawn.
13. In most cases she’s dating to make her Baby Baddy jealous. Deep down in her heart of hearts she believes that if she’s seen with someone else who sees her as valuable that he’ll see her as valuable and take her back.
In other cases when she’s not trying to get a rise out of Baby Daddy she’s playing the sympathy card™ using a guy to get gifts, free dinners and free drinks out of him. To a single mother, The men in her lives are just human ATM machines where she whispers a sweet nothing in his ear like a PIN number and money comes out of his wallet.
And because she’s a drama queen who loves to play the victim, the Single mother plays to men’s emotions to get them to react in the way she wants. It’s not common for a single mother to tell her man man about her baby daddy so he can go f!ght him. Or pit two baby daddies against each other. Many a man has wound up either dead or in prison because a single Mother played the victim card™.
14. Dishonest. A single mother is a LIAR. It’s how she gets what she wants. It’s how she manipulates people. It’s how she takes care of her kids. It’s how she survives in this world.
Single mothers lie. And they LIE ALL THE TIME. They lie to men about their age, their height, their weight, how many kids they have, the job they do.
On top of the lies they tell to others They lie to themselves. They lie about about how beautiful they are. They lie telling themselves they’re still a catch. They lie telling themselves they still have a chance with a good man. They lie telling themselves that their lives will be happily ever after one day.
The horrible truth is without those lies most of those single mothers would realize how pathetic their lives are. How they have no options in the dating scene. That they’re at the bottom of the barrel in the dating scene and the only men who want them are pathetic Manginas and thirsty Simps.
15. Carries Baggage, baggage and more baggage A single mother has more issues than Time and Newsweek combined. And when she’s looking for a man, she’s not looking for an equal caring partner. She’s looking for a Pullman Porter™ to take care of her kids, and clean up her messes with her childrens’ father. Brothers, don’t let yourself get sized up for the white jacket and the bow tie!
Anyway, dealing with a single mother is like walking through a minefield. After several months of being involved with her, it leaves a man anxious and tense because he doesn’t know where to step that won’t lead to an explosion that k!lls him.
That’s why Real Men avoid single mothers like disease.
Real men understand life is too short to put up with someone’s drama and their emotional baggage. We only have a limited time on God’s Earth and who wants to spend it being a Pullman Porter cleaning up someone else’s messes. As I stated before in a previous blog, let that woman take her run over Jimmy Choos and clean up her own mess. She made her bed, now let her lie in the wet spot.
Don’t date single mothers and don’t waste your time with them. There are four billion women in this world. If you’re patient, you’ll find a good one.

Follow original debate here

Sunday, 10 January 2016

MOTIVATIONAL: WHAT EVERY WOMAN SHOULD DO...NOW!!!!




HAPPY 2016!

Every new dawn is a new beginning and an opportunity to start over....This list tells shows you 70 things every woman must do now to have the life she wants.
  1. Don’t let others dictate the terms of your life. Start living life on your terms.
  2. Wear your hair the way you want.
  3. Wear your makeup the way you want or don’t wear any at all. Remember, it’s your choice.
  4. Dress the way you want.
  5. Be who you want to be in a world that tries to tell you who you shouldn’t be.
  6. Boxes are made for clothes, not people. Step outside the box and step in your greatness.
  7. Guard your mind, spirit and body.
  8. Let go of toxic relationships, even if its with family.
  9. Being nice doesn’t mean you should be treated like trash. You deserve respect.
  10. If someone treats you like trash the first time, they’ll probably treat you like that again. Leave them alone.
  11. Support people who support you. Demand reciprocity.
  12. Stop being hard on yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. Forgive yourself and learn from them.
  13. Stop saying “I’m sorry” for no reason. You may not realize it, but you’re apologizing for being who you are. STOP!
  14. Don’t. Apologize. For. Being. You.
  15. Say no and don’t feel bad about it.
  16. Remember, no one is entitled to your time, energy, money, body or attention because of who they are or what they have. This is your life. (See #15)
  17. You don’t need the validation of others. The only person you have to prove something to is you.
  18. What we spend most on time on is our priority. Ask yourself, what do you spend the most time on and do you really want that to be your priority?
  19. Turn off the news and get off the internet. It only depresses you on purpose.
  20. Don’t argue with racists, sexist, bigots, strangers and random trolls on the internet. It’s a waste of your precious time. You’ll never change a mind that is emotionally and financially invested in your humiliation and subjugation.
  21. Block people and negativity ruthlessly!
  22. If someone doesn’t like you, so what. That’s their problem and their loss.
  23. Practice self-care. Self-care is an act of self-preservation and self-love. Protect and nurture your space, mind, body and spirit.
  24. Put yourself first. Take care of yourself. Get your checkups and listen to the doctor’s advice.
  25. Meditate, pray, dance, exercise, walk and listen to music more. Whatever it is; do things that alleviate negative stress.
  26. Get a massage. (HELLO Groupon)
  27. Date who you want.
  28. Remember you’re a prize! People must earn your time, energy, trust and love.
  29. Be mysterious!
  30. Fall in love with someone who loves you more than you love you.
  31. Travel to a different city, state or even country. (Get a passport)
  32. Try different foods.
  33. Make new friends.
  34. Learn a different language.
  35. Remember you deserve love and be loved.
  36. Love yourself the way you want someone else to love you.
  37. How you start in life, doesn’t have to be how you live your life. Walk your own path.
  38. Don’t settle for mediocrity.
  39. Embrace change.
  40. Challenge yourself. Go beyond where you think you can go. Just when you think you’ve gone as far as you can, climb a little higher, dig a little deeper and push a little bit harder. Make a commitment to yourself and your deity (if you believe in one) to do this every single day.
  41. Try and succeed or fail. You’ll never know how far you can go until you try.
  42. Also, try your best!
  43. Trust your instincts. Your instincts exist to protect you.
  44. Unsure about your life? Surround yourself with positive and ambitious people. Behaviors are contagious. They’ll make you positive and ambitious.
  45. Inspire someone!
  46. Be inspired!
  47. Get a mentor.
  48. Be a mentor.
  49. Remember you’re more powerful than you think.
  50. Stop waiting for permission and give yourself permission.
  51. If you want something, go get it.
  52. Inaction is an action. If we decide to do nothing, we can also decide to do something. You have a choice.
  53. Fear isn’t real. It’s a waste of time.
  54. If you don’t like the direction of your life, change it. When we change our minds, we can change our reality.
  55. Don’t let someone else’s limitations on you become your expectations.
  56. Believe in yourself, your dreams and your destiny.
  57. Learn something new!
  58. Create a dream board and put everything you want on it.
  59. Write down your goals.
  60. Create action steps to achieve them.
  61. Focus and work on your goals.
  62. Never give up on your goals.
  63. If someone doesn’t believe in you, so what. What matters is that you believe in yourself.
  64. If you’re having a bad day, don’t forget some people didn’t get a chance to see today. Be grateful for the gift of life.
  65. Remember you’re supposed to be here.
  66. You’re responsible for your life.
  67. Fall in love with you today.
  68. Laugh more!
  69. Be yourself!
  70. Love more and enjoy life!

Wednesday, 30 December 2015

Recycled: The Big 'O' HOW WORDS SAID DURING ORGASMS LINKS TO PERSONALITY TRAITS



Hi!!

So according to healthguide.com, an orgasm is 'the sudden discharge of accumulated sexual tension resulting in rhythmic muscular contractions in the pelvic region that produce intensely pleasurable sensations followed by rapid relaxation.

It is obviously experienced by males and some females(not all)they are often associated with other involuntary actions, including muscular spasms in multiple areas of the body, a general euphoric sensation and, frequently, body movements and vocalizations are expressed. In males, orgasm generally leads to ejaculation.

Obviously a physiologic response to sexual stimulation, orgasms usually result from the stimulation of the penis in males and the clitoris in females. Modern findings by Schwartz(1992) support distinction between ejaculation and male orgasm in men and a distinction between clitoral orgasms from orgasms caused by G-Spot stimulation alone in women. Findings also supports female ejaculation,also known as 'squirting' in women.

Such stimulation can be by self-practice (masturbation) or by a partner (penetrative sexual intercourse, non-penetrative sex; also known as outercourse, and other erotic sexual activities). In addition, partners simultaneously stimulating each other's sex organs by mutual masturbation, penetrative intercourse, or other rhythmic inter-genital contact may experience simultaneous

The words I want to draw out are euphoric sensation and intense pleasure and the power they carry. Such is their weight that men like Tiger Woods have suffered for continually seeking it beyond agreed boundaries. Arnold Schwarzenegger the terminator has been renamed the impregnantor, and Former International Monetary Fund Chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn has been accused of raping his chambermaid!

That said, orgasms can also bond a couple in a healthy relationship. It can also lead to a range of often involuntary spoken words and that, dear class, is where my focus is today.  Pay attencion :P

How words said during orgasms links to personality traits...


1. The Optimist - "Ahh...Oh Yes, Oh Yes, Oh Yes .....Aaahhh ..... ! "

2. The Pessimist - " Ahh ..... Oh No, Oh No, Oh No .....Aaahhh ..... ! "

3. The Confused - " Ahh ..... Oh Yes, Oh No, Oh Yes, Oh No..... Aaahhh ..... ! "

4. The Traveler - " Ahh ..... I'm cumming, I’m cumming ..... Aaahhh ..... ! "

5. The Religious - "Ahh ..... Oh God, Oh God.....Aaahhh ..... ! "

6. The Needy - " Ahh ..... More, More, More..... Aaahhh ..... ! "

7. The Beggar - " Ahh ..... Please ..... Please ..... Aaahhh ..... ! "

8. The Submariner - " Ahh ..... Ohhhh ..... Deeper ..... Go DEEPER..... Aaahhh ..... ! "

9. The Sports man - " Ahh ..... Faster .....Faster .....Aaahhh ..... ! "

10. The Mimicry artist - " Ahh ..... Shhhhh ..... Hsssss ..... Shhhhh ..... Aaahhh ..... ! "

11. The Dutiful man - " Ahh ..... Oooh maaaa ..... Oooh maaaa..... Aaahhh ..... ! "

12. The Wrestler - " Ahh ..... Hold me tight ....Rougher .... Harder ..... Aaahhh ..... ! "

13. The Murderer - " Ahh ..... I am going to cum .....Ahh .....If you cum before me, I'll kill you .....Aaahhh..... !

14. (adapted for Nigerians) YEPARIPA......... YEPARIPA......... YEPARIPA......... YEPARIPA......... YEPARIPA......... YEPARIPA......... YEPARIPA......... MO TIN MBOOOOOOOOOOO

15.OH SHIT,SHIT,SHIT,SHIT, MAKE ME CUM BABY,MAKE ME CUM! SHIT,OH SHIT,I CANT TAKE DIS CURSE MY MAMA,YEESH ABEG CURSE MY PAPA,SAY MY MAMA NA ONYEBERIIIBEEEEEE!

16. The Pain taker.- E dey pain you... Ehn... Make I remove am....Nooooo Noooooo Noooooooooooooooooooo.......

17.The Guarantor.- E no go tear.....hit am well.. welll. e no tearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Recognise thineself? LOL!

Thanks for reading
Mena 


Wednesday, 30 September 2015

THINK YOU HAD A BAD DAY?

Hi

Following this and this story. Here is one more unedited and true story that makes you ponder...






I was born around 1968 and married my high school sweetheart at the age of 20. A day before the traditional marriage, somebody from my father's side of the family confronted me and said it would be over her dead body before I will have any children since I chose to marry before some of my elders who were still unmarried. I gave my life to Jesus that same year and started praying. I was unable to have children until this woman died after FIVE years of marriage.
On February 22nd, 1989, I fell into an Aquarium glass that almost killed me at Fola Agoro where I was working then as a sales representative, while I was in the hospital, a family member showed up in my dream and said I would not survive the attack. I prayed fervently and asked the Lord to take care of the situation. I survived. (The person died).
In 1992, ( I forgot the exact date), somebody threatened to kill me in my dream, when I woke up, I prayed that God should deliver me from this attack. I went later that day to Mosafejo Market in Oshodi and fell into a big Canal where you board Ketu busses. It took three strong men to drag me out of that pit. I survived again.
Two years after I joined my husband in the States, I had a terrible dream that I was being deported even though I had a "Green Card". On May 31st, 1997, three months after the dream, we visited Nigeria, and my husband left and ran away leaving me and our 3 years old son. God used my boss, Rev. Bosun Ayinde and his wife, Mrs. Peju Ayinde, of Akinola Cole Crescent, Ikeja, with the help of Immigration Officer Popoola and Custom Officer Nta to get me back to the United States after two and a half months of suffering and struggling.
On June 3rd, 2003, after two days of another terrible dream from these wicked people, my three children with their father, (my new husband) were involved in a terrible car accident. All hope were lost, but I cried to Almighty God who performed the greatest miracle of all! Everybody Survived!!! I continued praying and fasting.
On February 25, 2008, I saw in my vision, these wicked spirits told me that they will not rest until they destroy me. I responded that the Lord God whom I serve everyday will avenge and vindicate me as I never do anything do them, and that God will fight my battle for me. The next day, at 6:30am, there was a terrible storm in Atlanta that destroyed GA Dome and World Congress Center. Unfortunately my home was among those that were destroyed. To God be the glory, my three children and their father survived the disaster (I was at work). Halleluyah!!!
The Bible says many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord his God delivered him from them all.
My brethren, this is the reason I fight and seek the destruction of my enemies and I also extend these prayers to others who might be going through what I have been through.
I pray that the Lord who had delivered me from all these calamities will deliver you too in Jesus name. Amen.

-------------------------


As written by Taibatu O.O.

Tuesday, 22 September 2015

WON TI BERE OOOO

Found this funny story! I used to live in crazy Lagos and as funny as this is, it could have happened....enjoy


This Lagos sef don tire me. Jeje I was sitting in my car on a very long fuel queue from the Mobil in Maryland. This queue was almost getting to Anthony bus stop. It was one of those days when there was no fuel at all. Suddenly na him I see one guy run past my car with jerry can in one hand shouting "won ti bere oooooo"I quickly jumped out of my car opened my booth, got my jerry can and ran after him. He kept on running towards Maryland. When he got to the filling station he shouted again "won ti bere oooo" this in yoruba actually means they have started oooooo.
He ran past the filling station and headed towards Sheraton hotel. Those that know this area will understand the distance. I tried to run faster to catch up and ask Kini won bere? Meaning "what have they started?" But this boy ran faster. I looked back and I saw like 6 people had joined us everybody with jerry can in one hand. We continued past Sheraton and headed towards Ikeja bus stop. When we got to Ikeja bus stop he shouted again won ti bere oooooo. ....and continued running we all continued asking each other wetin happen but nobody seemed to know as we chased after him.
Finally we got to oshodi isale and he shouted again by this time we were like 40 people running after him all of us with jerry can in one hand. He shouted again won ti bere oooooo!!!!!! He continued running towards iyana Isolo and finally after getting to iyana Isolo he stopped and we were all gasping for breath both men and women, some with pot bellies, I moved close to him and asked Kini won bere?
He answered Chelsea ati Arsenal ni, won ti bere match!! I fainted.


Have a peaceful holiday!

xo
Mena

Saturday, 29 August 2015

HUMAN AND LOOKING FOR PEACE AND HAPPINESS?

Read these words and ponder a bit.....



You were born in a first class hospital, I was
delivered at home, we both survived. You went to
a private school and I went to a razz government
school, we both ended in the same University.
You woke up from the bed and I woke from the
floor, we both had a peaceful night rest. Your
outfits are all expensive, mine are all simple and
cheap, we both still cover our nakedness. You ate
expensive food, I ate cheap food
but we both still ate to our satisfaction.
You ride on Lexus jeep, Range Rover, G Wagon,
Hummer Jeep and I use public transport but we
still got to our various destination. You may be
reading this post from your very expensive tech product  and I typed it with my basic one,
we still see the same thing, you got married in
  an exotic placeand I married in a cheap affordable place, we both wore ring
and people ate and had fun.
 
Life is not a competition and there are different
ways to get a lot of things done, different lanes
all leading to the same destination. Just because
your neighbour is doing things faster does not
mean you are failing.
Happiness doesn't come from having everything,
but from making the best out of what you have,
it's all about how you see yourself.
God bless us all!

Sunday, 4 January 2015

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS....!!! (at least Tozo, Abodi and Kpomo no dey the list

Hello!


So I am a member of this weight watch group and the challenge is listed below

 This will  be kept in the 'mena makes no promises mena cant keep box'
Think this is really doable?

VERY GRATEFUL! HAPPY 2015! WE MADE IT! AND A MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOUUU.


 



Soo what are you thoughts on forward mail? Are you like me who deletes by default? I have a friend who only forwards mail to me, and then considers that to be communication! Well the fact that I never reply should indicate that consider that to be b*ll sh*t!!

Then again, you do get the odd one that is so nicely done that it gives that warm feeling in your heart.
The following poem is about showing appreciation for everything. I find it timely as I spend so much of my time worrying about the future, that I hardly appreciate the present. Infact I should stop right here, this minutes and say thank you: "Father in Heaven I thank You for bringing me thus far, Great is Thy faithfulness upon me as well as the person reading this page. You deserve all the praise and adoration, in Jesus name, Amen!"

Enjoy!

=====================================================================================
I AM THANKFUL:


FOR THE WIFE
WHO SAYS IT’S MR. BIGGS / BURGER KING / KFC / TANTALIZERS TONIGHT...
BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME, AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.





FOR THE HUSBAND
WHO IS ON THE SOFA WATCHING FOOTBALL...
BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME,
AND NOT OUT AT THE BAR WITH OTHER CHICS.



FOR THE TEENAGER
WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES...
BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME,
NOT ON THE STREETS.





FOR THE TAXES I PAY...
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM EMPLOYED.

FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY...
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.



FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG...
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.





FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK...
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE.



FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING,
WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING,
AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING...
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME




FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING
I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT, ELECTION MALPRACTICES...
BECAUSE IT MEANS WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH.



FOR THE PARKING SPOT
I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT...
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING
AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION .



FOR MY HUGE ELECTRICITY BILL...
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE LIGHT.



FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH
WHO SINGS OFF KEY...
BECAUSE IT MEANS I CAN HEAR.



FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING...
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.



FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES
AT THE END OF THE DAY...
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.



FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS...
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.



AND I AM THANKFUL:
FOR THE crazy people I work with...
BECAUSE they make work interesting and fun!



AND FINALLY, FOR TOO MUCH E-MAIL

BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE
THINKING OF ME.

SEND THIS TO SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT.
I JUST DID.

Live well, Laugh often, & Love with all of your heart

Wish you love, laughter and peace

Mena
x




Saturday, 11 October 2014

HELP ME 7 ( DIAGNOSED WITH BREAST CANCER..TODAY MY PARTNER LEFT ME TO DEAL WITH IT AS WELL AS THE CHILDREN BUT NOT BEFORE TELLING ME I DESERVED TO GET CANCER )

Hello!!!


So I have been M.I.A. I went to India for about a month and a half and wow the experience is very different to every single thing I am used too. I will probably publish some of my experiences and photos here soon.

I hope you have all been very well. Any thing new? Please lets share.

By my thinking any one of us can be silently going through terrible ordeals in our lives thinking we are alone, and believing there is no solution, no way out, well there is a way out! All you need to do is speak out or write anonymously, someone somewhere will respond to you. You are never alone, certainly not in blogsville. So I was browsing blogsville when I came across some stories. They claim to be true life stories and the writers actually need our advice, love or just a silent prayer. I couldnt resist but bring some of them to them to my blog so readers who have gone though a similar experience can play agony aunt and give them solutions. Or you can even give them some tough love as well. They will be published from time to time in a series titled 'HELP', this is the seventh part.....You can findHelp 1 Help 2 Help 3 Help 4  Help 5 and Help 6 just by a click...

Help7.....






Her Story: 
"....For months I had put off going to the doctors about a lump I found in my breast.  As i walked into the consultants room the look on the doctors face said it all.

I had been to see the very same doctor two weeks previously for a core biopsy on a large lump in my right breast and a sample biopsy from my lymph nodes. For some reason i was hoping everything was going to be OK but it seemed it wasn't.

"You have Breast Cancer" he said in a very clinical manner...... No bed side manner at all. Everything i planned to say to him totally left my mind and i just sat there sobbing my eyes out. The thought of not being here for my children was the only thing i could think of. How do i tell them? How do i tell my parents? And how the hell do i tell my partner?..I did.

Current situation: Diagnosed with breast cancer two weeks ago.....today my partner of many years just leave me to deal with children.....but not after telling me i deserved to get cancer....

This is Heartwrenching! I am in literally in tears