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Sunday, 20 May 2018

Amazing advice for ALL generation— written in 1997 by Mary Schmich,

Hi, 

I hope you are very well. :-)






Its been a while I shared anything here. Life happened and is still happening. Might share a bit if motivated or....might close it, if not.

Lately, I  have been thinking about how life simply does not come with a manual, and somehow I remembered these lyrics and it contains some valuable advice.

They are from a famous essay — written in 1997 by Mary Schmich, a columnist with the Chicago Tribune, I hope this means something to you, in whatever stage you may be, in your journey in life.
.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '97.
Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience...


I will dispense this advice now. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked...


You're not as fat as you Imagine.
Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind.
The kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.


Do one thing everyday that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy;
Sometimes you're ahead,
Sometimes You're behind.
The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults;
If you Succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with yourLife.
The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.


Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.
Whatever you do, don't Congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either.
Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body, Use it every way you can... Don't be afraid of it, or what other people Think of it,
It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.


Dance
... even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.


Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings;
They are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.



Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will Philander, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you.
Maybe you have a trust fund, Maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

But trust me on the sunscreen...

Brother and sister together we'll make it through
Someday your spirit will take you and guide you there
I know you've been hurting, but I've been waiting to be there
For you. And I'll be there, just tell me now, whenever I can.
Everybody's free.





Reference: Baz Lurhman   
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xavFb4WH7o0

Very powerful..even 21yrs after it was published!! But thats my opinion, did it make any sense to you? 

Thanks for reading, :-)
Mena



Monday, 20 June 2016

THINGS TO DO WHEN YOUR SPOUSE UNEXPECTEDLY DIES

Hello and Welcome,

I hope you are very well. I have not blogged in a while and I apologise, there has been so many changes to adjust to and unplanned events kept coming up.

Do pardon me from regular blogging as I am still adjusting, however I do this for a dear sister and friend who has asked us to share, she recently lost her husband and has some tips. She is African American but some of her lessons may actually help some of us.

Death is such a forbidden topic especially in Nigeria, perhaps Africa, and yet even after the death of a loved one, the family left behind have to survive through the shock, the changes and adjustments. 

                           

Enough with my ramblings here is what bougieblackgirl has to say on sudden unexpected bereavement;

I just lost my wonderful husband. my husband of 14 years, Joseph, our family’s provider and protector died from a brain aneurysm last week. He was only 34 years old.
Let me be honest with you, I’m devastated, in shock and in some form of denial. When someone called me a widow I was heartbroken. How am I writing? Well writing for you brings me solace.
You see right before he died, everything seemed so normal. We dropped the kids off at school, I went food shopping and we did our normal routine. Within hours he was found unconscious and later declared brain-dead. I asked myself if I was there would he had survived. Why I didn’t see the signs? What could have I done differently? Unfortunately, there was nothing no one could’ve done. Even after knowing all that, I’m still questioning myself.
How am I dealing? It’s been rough. I can’t sleep at night. I force myself to eat and I cry almost every time I’m reminded that he’s gone. The irony is he’s all I want to talk about. It’s hard living in this house because everything in our bedroom is exactly where he left it before he died. I kept it that way. I can’t imagine moving his things. His bottle of water is on his end table. His gum is on his side of our dresser. He’d prepared his work clothes to be taken to the dry cleaners and they’re right where he left them. He was an old school military man raised by old school folks. You know how we military people are. Everything had to be freshly starched.



Even though I’m grieving, I learned so much from this ordeal.
There are also many important steps we must take after a spouse dies. If you ever have to go through this nightmare or you want to prepare for when it happens (because we all die) here is what I need you to do…
1. Lean on your support system. You’ll need them now more than ever for advice, protection and a shoulder to cry on.
2. Find all of your legal documents. This includes birth certificates, social security cards, a DD214 if they were in the military; insurance policies, etc. (Please put them in a safe place so that everyone knows where everything is.)
3. Contact your spouse’s creditors. Some credit card/loan companies have insurance to cover your loved ones debt if they die. We all die so ask your creditors if you can sign up for it and take it. You don’t want you or your loved ones to have the added burden of debt after a spouse’s death.
4. Contact your spouse’s bank to have the funds transferred over to you, if you don’t have a joint account. If your spouse has a debt with the bank, the bank can seize your spouse’s assets to clear up the debt. If they have a debt, contact an attorney before informing the bank. One more thing! Make sure your spouse lists you as the beneficiary on their accounts. If they haven’t, do it NOW.  My hubby had his account before he married me.  I am lucky. Some people aren’t when it comes to death and money. If you aren’t the beneficiary, his other family may contest it. To protect you and your spouse, have them change it.
5. Create a budget to track spending and stick to it. Include bills and money coming in.
6. Find out what bills were paid, what bills are due and pay them. This includes car notes, insurance payments, utility bills, etc. I’ve just had to pay tons of bills including part of my husband’s funeral costs.
7. Cancel your spouse’s drivers license to prevent ID fraud. There are vultures out there. To prevent being a victim of identity theft, contact your state licensing agency.
8. Contact your spouse’s employer and old employers for insurance policies, pensions and 401ks to begin the beneficiary process. When you contact your job’s HR department, ask how long you will keep your spouse’s healthcare. Also ask about their last paycheck and ask how you can begin the claim process. You will also get access to their retirement, if they have one.  (We all die so get a will, GET LIFE INSURANCE and save for retirement!)
9. If your spouse is an organ donor like mine was, make sure you understand what it means. You don’t have to do it. If you do, I applaud you. Get the representative of the donor organization explain in full detail what they are taking and the condition your spouse will be left in. I had a witness (his mom) in the room with me.
10. When we picked out a funeral home we asked for recommendations from family members. Ask around! Our family made an excellent choice. We went with a Black owned funeral home that did a spectacular job. When meeting with the funeral director they will ask you if you want a full funeral with burial, cremation with or without a service, etc.  Funerals are expensive.  Here is a tip. Let them know up front you only have a set amount of money to pay for the funeral. I negotiated prices with the funeral home. You can too. Stick to your budget and don’t spend more than you can. Some relatives will pressure you to spend more, but they aren’t paying for the funeral services. You are! Lovingly ignore them. I’ve had relatives who spent in the five-figure range for another relative’s funeral. Don’t do it!
11. Once you’ve set the dates with the funeral home for your spouse’s service and  set up the burial:
  • Contact the place of service if it is not at the funeral home.
  • Contact the funeral participants and confirm their attendance.
  • Create a program. You can have the funeral home design it or you can design it yourself. If you do design it, you will save hundreds of dollars. That’s what I did. I am self-taught in Photoshop, Indesign, etc.  I made the program just the way my hubby would want it. You can also get pre-made pamphlets designs. All I paid for was the printing. The funeral home will charge you for the number of pages printed in each program.
  • Ask yourself will there be a repass? If so, are you using a caterer? If you need to save money, let family cook or have everyone bring a dish.  Do what works for you.
  • Get the word out about the funeral and burial date and time. Since my hubby was young and his friends were online, I used social media using images expressing the date and time of his funeral. If the person is older go where your spouse’s friends are.
12. Next you will have to pick out an outfit for your spouse. Some funeral homes will sell you one. My hubby was a straight suit and tie guy so I supplied them with a white tee-shirt, black socks, a complete suit, underwear and tie. After dressing your spouse they will ask you to view your spouse before the funeral. Please have someone there with you when you do this. I had my mother-in-law, my sister and my brother-in-law there. It is incredibly jarring to see your loved one in a casket. I will be honest. It broke my heart because I had to face the realization my husband wasn’t coming back. I miss him so much.
13. Once the funeral is over, get multiple death certificates from the funeral home.  You need this document for #3 and #8 during the claim process.
14. Don’t forget to send out thank you cards. This is simple etiquette. I’m doing mine now. Some funeral homes offer them for free. Use them.
15. Go to benefits.gov to see what government benefits you are and your children (if you have any) are entitled to after a spouse dies. Make sure you have your family’s social security numbers, birth certificates and your proof of your marriage. You’ll need them to go through with federal survivor benefits.
16. Ignore the pressure to give away your spouse’s items before you are ready. My hubby died a few days ago and I still haven’t moved his stuff. Yes, people have asked for his things, but I told them to wait.
17. Get a lawyer if you need one. They are there to protect you.
18. Grieve in your own way and seek counseling. My kids and I start counseling next month. Do it.
19. Finally live your life. Life is so short. If something or someone isn’t making you happy change your situation. We take life for granted when it is really a precious gift.
These past few weeks have been the hardest in my life. There are days when I’m too tired to do anything and there are nights where all I want to do is cry. I know things will get better.My husband’s death has devastated to my sons. They cope in their own ways. My oldest is like me, reserved. He asks questions and then goes back to his space. My youngest is hurt, but needs to be around people who love us. We’re lucky. My husband has an amazing family and a group of friends and we have you who are helping us get through this trying time.


                



I’m not done yet. I have one more thing to tell you. People will probably get mad at me, but I want you to focus on the one word I used throughout this post. What was the one word I used over and over? The word was spouse. Now just imagine if I was just a girlfriend after 14 years of co-habitating?  I wouldn’t have been able to make the medical decisions or even have access to his room before he died. I wouldn’t have had access to our car or even have a legal right to stay in our home. I wouldn’t have had a legal say in his funeral arrangements.  I’d be at the mercy of his family. Luckily they aren’t like that, however, like I said before, some people are. Just imagine. I’d be in probate for my sons’ inheritance. That can take months and even years depending upon who contests it. Who wins? The lawyers! So before people say marriage is just a piece of paper, I’m proof that is so much more. Look, marriage ain’t for everyone but it’s easier when you are dealing with the passing of a spouse.
Please consider protecting your family and yourself. Get insurance and a will, keep your documents in a secure place and make sure your beneficiary information is up to date.  Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts, prayers and support. I love you so much!!!
The only limit you have is the one you have is the one you have placed on yourself. Think and be limitless.

Bougie Black Girl 

Mena says: This is a very strong minded, opinionated beautiful friend and even in her grief she still cares for others by sharing this in her blog (in reference within this blog) and allowing for it to to be shared. This is the 5th unexpected death news I have heard so far and each of them, have families still trying to adjust to the new situation. It is not easy! Please visit her blog and if you want to, kindly support in what way you can. May J's (BBG's hubby) soul RIP and may God grant the survivors favour, Grace and peace to go through this difficult period. Amen 

Friday, 22 January 2016

MAN WRITES REASONS WHY MEN SHOULD NOT WASTE THEIR TIME DATING SINGLE MOTHERS




(If you’re a single mother, you won’t like this..:-)) An American author named Shawn James this week wrote a controversial essay titled ‘Why Real Men Avoid Single Mothers’ – detailing 15 reasons why men should not date single mothers. It’s got people talking.

1. Never Available. A single Mother’s schedule is never open. Single mothers are the kind of women to always cancel dates at the last minute. Something always gets in the way of a man spending time with her. It’s hard to have a relationship with her because she’s never there.
2. YOU are NOT a priority. Usually in a relationship the man winds up DEAD LAST. Behind, her kids, her job, the car, the kitchen sink, the stopped up toilet. Even the dog gets more attention and affection than a man involved with a single mother. Any man who gets involved with a single mother winds up a fifth stringer in a relationship. And he rarely ever gets called up to play.
3. Thinks the world revolves around HER and ONLY HER. A single mother is one of the biggest narcissists on the dating scene. She often thinks that a man has to drop everything in his life to be part of hers and her kids. They’re so selfish they don’t think a man has needs, wants or a life of his own. He’s just supposed to be there to give her everything she wants in life.
4. Emotionally Unavailable- Most Single mothers cannot form an intimate connection with a man because her feelings are invested in other people. Usually her primary focus is on her children.
In addition to dedicating herself to her children, most single mothers have given their hearts to someone else- their children’s father. And those feelings she still has for him will always prevent her from getting closer to you. There will always be some distance between a single mother and the new man in her life.
5. The ex/ Baby Daddy is ALWAYS THERE. A man just doesn’t deal with a single mother. He deals with her ex or her baby daddy as well. And this guy is always hovering around like a helicopter looking to c*ckblock you. Some of these guys still think they have a shot at getting back with her. Others just don’t want to see her happy. A lot of these dudes want to f!ght over her.
Seriously, it’s a game they’re playing with each other. And they’ll be playing that game with each other until their children turn 18 or 21. Head for the exit. It’s just not worth dealing with this fool and his insecure bullshyt.
6. The kids are working AGAINST YOU When dealing with a single mother you also deal with Kids. Kids who still in their little heart of hearts think that Dad will come back and love them.
Seriously, GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE.
7. Those kids will HATE YOU. They will act out to keep you from getting closer to mommy. They will make accusations against you to get you in trouble. Again, it’s just not worth dealing with the bullsh*t to get with a female. There are four billion women in the world. You can find a quality female who doesn’t carry all this baggage or give you this much grief.
8. Entitled attitude Single mothers think because she had a baby out of wedlock the world owes her EVERYTHING. And she thinks she’s the one who deserves the best. Even though she’s usually collecting welfare, food stamps, or child support, in eyes she’s still supposed to be treated like she’s a queen because she popped a kid out of her v*gina.
In their deluded distorted vision of the world Men are still supposed to take her out to the finest restaurants and buy them lots of expensive stuff. And he’s supposed to take care of her kids too, buying them whatever they want while taking a blind eye to their bad behavior.
9. Distorted self-image Single mothers still thinks she’s as sexy like she was before she had a baby. Only she doesn’t understand how her body has changed. In some cases for the worse.
Single mothers are the type to try to squeeze themselves into sexy outfits like low-rise jeans and cropped T-shirts to show off their belly button, not seeing the muffin top and stretch marks squeezing out over the top of their pants. They’re the type to stuff themselves into slinky spandex dresses, (not aware of that gut, and the cellulite on their asses) and head out to the club. She thinks men are supposed to run up on her offering to buy her drinks. And because a few thirsty simps step to her, she thinks she’s still got it. But the only people who wants what she has to offer are scavengers at the bottom of the social scene.
10. Always the victim. Single Mothers never take responsibility for their actions. The situation they’re in is always the fault of that “no good man”, “these damn kids” their mother or someone else. They never take any time to do any self-examination or make any efforts to change their lives. They’re still looking for some Rich Incredibly Handsome Man™ to put on a cape and play Captain Save-A-Hoe™, sweep her off her feet and take her out of the troubling situation she helped make.
11. Jekyll & Hyde Personality. A single mother will be the sweetest thing when a man first dates her, but a few months into a relationship she turns into a NUTJOB. A man will usually see glimpses of this when she chastises her kids when he first meets them. During that meeting she’ll yell at them and bully them to get them to act right while praising a man like he’s an angel.
It’s all an act. Heaven will turn into Hell around the six month mark.
Once a single mother gets a man settled into her life it’s not common for her to start verbally abusing him and mocking him as she projects all that pent-up rage from those previous failed relationships onto him. And it’s usually around this point that most men realize why this woman is single and why it’s time for him to hit the exit door.
12. Drama Queen. Because a single mother always sees herself as a victim of society, she’s always talking about her problems. And she always has a new trouble to bring everyone. There’s never a good day in the life of a single mother because there’s always some new crisis about to emerge in her life.
The reason single mothers need the drama is because it makes them feel important. It makes people pay attention to them. And when Captain-Save-A-Hoe™ is doting on them trying to solve their problems it makes them feel an artificial sense of value. They need that value to deflects people’s attention from how pathetic their lives actually are.
Manipulative In most cases, a single mother has no interest in a man she’s dating. In a lot of cases she’s just using a guy as a pawn.
13. In most cases she’s dating to make her Baby Baddy jealous. Deep down in her heart of hearts she believes that if she’s seen with someone else who sees her as valuable that he’ll see her as valuable and take her back.
In other cases when she’s not trying to get a rise out of Baby Daddy she’s playing the sympathy card™ using a guy to get gifts, free dinners and free drinks out of him. To a single mother, The men in her lives are just human ATM machines where she whispers a sweet nothing in his ear like a PIN number and money comes out of his wallet.
And because she’s a drama queen who loves to play the victim, the Single mother plays to men’s emotions to get them to react in the way she wants. It’s not common for a single mother to tell her man man about her baby daddy so he can go f!ght him. Or pit two baby daddies against each other. Many a man has wound up either dead or in prison because a single Mother played the victim card™.
14. Dishonest. A single mother is a LIAR. It’s how she gets what she wants. It’s how she manipulates people. It’s how she takes care of her kids. It’s how she survives in this world.
Single mothers lie. And they LIE ALL THE TIME. They lie to men about their age, their height, their weight, how many kids they have, the job they do.
On top of the lies they tell to others They lie to themselves. They lie about about how beautiful they are. They lie telling themselves they’re still a catch. They lie telling themselves they still have a chance with a good man. They lie telling themselves that their lives will be happily ever after one day.
The horrible truth is without those lies most of those single mothers would realize how pathetic their lives are. How they have no options in the dating scene. That they’re at the bottom of the barrel in the dating scene and the only men who want them are pathetic Manginas and thirsty Simps.
15. Carries Baggage, baggage and more baggage A single mother has more issues than Time and Newsweek combined. And when she’s looking for a man, she’s not looking for an equal caring partner. She’s looking for a Pullman Porter™ to take care of her kids, and clean up her messes with her childrens’ father. Brothers, don’t let yourself get sized up for the white jacket and the bow tie!
Anyway, dealing with a single mother is like walking through a minefield. After several months of being involved with her, it leaves a man anxious and tense because he doesn’t know where to step that won’t lead to an explosion that k!lls him.
That’s why Real Men avoid single mothers like disease.
Real men understand life is too short to put up with someone’s drama and their emotional baggage. We only have a limited time on God’s Earth and who wants to spend it being a Pullman Porter cleaning up someone else’s messes. As I stated before in a previous blog, let that woman take her run over Jimmy Choos and clean up her own mess. She made her bed, now let her lie in the wet spot.
Don’t date single mothers and don’t waste your time with them. There are four billion women in this world. If you’re patient, you’ll find a good one.

Follow original debate here

Sunday, 10 January 2016

MOTIVATIONAL: WHAT EVERY WOMAN SHOULD DO...NOW!!!!




HAPPY 2016!

Every new dawn is a new beginning and an opportunity to start over....This list tells shows you 70 things every woman must do now to have the life she wants.
  1. Don’t let others dictate the terms of your life. Start living life on your terms.
  2. Wear your hair the way you want.
  3. Wear your makeup the way you want or don’t wear any at all. Remember, it’s your choice.
  4. Dress the way you want.
  5. Be who you want to be in a world that tries to tell you who you shouldn’t be.
  6. Boxes are made for clothes, not people. Step outside the box and step in your greatness.
  7. Guard your mind, spirit and body.
  8. Let go of toxic relationships, even if its with family.
  9. Being nice doesn’t mean you should be treated like trash. You deserve respect.
  10. If someone treats you like trash the first time, they’ll probably treat you like that again. Leave them alone.
  11. Support people who support you. Demand reciprocity.
  12. Stop being hard on yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. Forgive yourself and learn from them.
  13. Stop saying “I’m sorry” for no reason. You may not realize it, but you’re apologizing for being who you are. STOP!
  14. Don’t. Apologize. For. Being. You.
  15. Say no and don’t feel bad about it.
  16. Remember, no one is entitled to your time, energy, money, body or attention because of who they are or what they have. This is your life. (See #15)
  17. You don’t need the validation of others. The only person you have to prove something to is you.
  18. What we spend most on time on is our priority. Ask yourself, what do you spend the most time on and do you really want that to be your priority?
  19. Turn off the news and get off the internet. It only depresses you on purpose.
  20. Don’t argue with racists, sexist, bigots, strangers and random trolls on the internet. It’s a waste of your precious time. You’ll never change a mind that is emotionally and financially invested in your humiliation and subjugation.
  21. Block people and negativity ruthlessly!
  22. If someone doesn’t like you, so what. That’s their problem and their loss.
  23. Practice self-care. Self-care is an act of self-preservation and self-love. Protect and nurture your space, mind, body and spirit.
  24. Put yourself first. Take care of yourself. Get your checkups and listen to the doctor’s advice.
  25. Meditate, pray, dance, exercise, walk and listen to music more. Whatever it is; do things that alleviate negative stress.
  26. Get a massage. (HELLO Groupon)
  27. Date who you want.
  28. Remember you’re a prize! People must earn your time, energy, trust and love.
  29. Be mysterious!
  30. Fall in love with someone who loves you more than you love you.
  31. Travel to a different city, state or even country. (Get a passport)
  32. Try different foods.
  33. Make new friends.
  34. Learn a different language.
  35. Remember you deserve love and be loved.
  36. Love yourself the way you want someone else to love you.
  37. How you start in life, doesn’t have to be how you live your life. Walk your own path.
  38. Don’t settle for mediocrity.
  39. Embrace change.
  40. Challenge yourself. Go beyond where you think you can go. Just when you think you’ve gone as far as you can, climb a little higher, dig a little deeper and push a little bit harder. Make a commitment to yourself and your deity (if you believe in one) to do this every single day.
  41. Try and succeed or fail. You’ll never know how far you can go until you try.
  42. Also, try your best!
  43. Trust your instincts. Your instincts exist to protect you.
  44. Unsure about your life? Surround yourself with positive and ambitious people. Behaviors are contagious. They’ll make you positive and ambitious.
  45. Inspire someone!
  46. Be inspired!
  47. Get a mentor.
  48. Be a mentor.
  49. Remember you’re more powerful than you think.
  50. Stop waiting for permission and give yourself permission.
  51. If you want something, go get it.
  52. Inaction is an action. If we decide to do nothing, we can also decide to do something. You have a choice.
  53. Fear isn’t real. It’s a waste of time.
  54. If you don’t like the direction of your life, change it. When we change our minds, we can change our reality.
  55. Don’t let someone else’s limitations on you become your expectations.
  56. Believe in yourself, your dreams and your destiny.
  57. Learn something new!
  58. Create a dream board and put everything you want on it.
  59. Write down your goals.
  60. Create action steps to achieve them.
  61. Focus and work on your goals.
  62. Never give up on your goals.
  63. If someone doesn’t believe in you, so what. What matters is that you believe in yourself.
  64. If you’re having a bad day, don’t forget some people didn’t get a chance to see today. Be grateful for the gift of life.
  65. Remember you’re supposed to be here.
  66. You’re responsible for your life.
  67. Fall in love with you today.
  68. Laugh more!
  69. Be yourself!
  70. Love more and enjoy life!

Wednesday, 30 December 2015

Recycled: The Big 'O' HOW WORDS SAID DURING ORGASMS LINKS TO PERSONALITY TRAITS



Hi!!

So according to healthguide.com, an orgasm is 'the sudden discharge of accumulated sexual tension resulting in rhythmic muscular contractions in the pelvic region that produce intensely pleasurable sensations followed by rapid relaxation.

It is obviously experienced by males and some females(not all)they are often associated with other involuntary actions, including muscular spasms in multiple areas of the body, a general euphoric sensation and, frequently, body movements and vocalizations are expressed. In males, orgasm generally leads to ejaculation.

Obviously a physiologic response to sexual stimulation, orgasms usually result from the stimulation of the penis in males and the clitoris in females. Modern findings by Schwartz(1992) support distinction between ejaculation and male orgasm in men and a distinction between clitoral orgasms from orgasms caused by G-Spot stimulation alone in women. Findings also supports female ejaculation,also known as 'squirting' in women.

Such stimulation can be by self-practice (masturbation) or by a partner (penetrative sexual intercourse, non-penetrative sex; also known as outercourse, and other erotic sexual activities). In addition, partners simultaneously stimulating each other's sex organs by mutual masturbation, penetrative intercourse, or other rhythmic inter-genital contact may experience simultaneous

The words I want to draw out are euphoric sensation and intense pleasure and the power they carry. Such is their weight that men like Tiger Woods have suffered for continually seeking it beyond agreed boundaries. Arnold Schwarzenegger the terminator has been renamed the impregnantor, and Former International Monetary Fund Chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn has been accused of raping his chambermaid!

That said, orgasms can also bond a couple in a healthy relationship. It can also lead to a range of often involuntary spoken words and that, dear class, is where my focus is today.  Pay attencion :P

How words said during orgasms links to personality traits...


1. The Optimist - "Ahh...Oh Yes, Oh Yes, Oh Yes .....Aaahhh ..... ! "

2. The Pessimist - " Ahh ..... Oh No, Oh No, Oh No .....Aaahhh ..... ! "

3. The Confused - " Ahh ..... Oh Yes, Oh No, Oh Yes, Oh No..... Aaahhh ..... ! "

4. The Traveler - " Ahh ..... I'm cumming, I’m cumming ..... Aaahhh ..... ! "

5. The Religious - "Ahh ..... Oh God, Oh God.....Aaahhh ..... ! "

6. The Needy - " Ahh ..... More, More, More..... Aaahhh ..... ! "

7. The Beggar - " Ahh ..... Please ..... Please ..... Aaahhh ..... ! "

8. The Submariner - " Ahh ..... Ohhhh ..... Deeper ..... Go DEEPER..... Aaahhh ..... ! "

9. The Sports man - " Ahh ..... Faster .....Faster .....Aaahhh ..... ! "

10. The Mimicry artist - " Ahh ..... Shhhhh ..... Hsssss ..... Shhhhh ..... Aaahhh ..... ! "

11. The Dutiful man - " Ahh ..... Oooh maaaa ..... Oooh maaaa..... Aaahhh ..... ! "

12. The Wrestler - " Ahh ..... Hold me tight ....Rougher .... Harder ..... Aaahhh ..... ! "

13. The Murderer - " Ahh ..... I am going to cum .....Ahh .....If you cum before me, I'll kill you .....Aaahhh..... !

14. (adapted for Nigerians) YEPARIPA......... YEPARIPA......... YEPARIPA......... YEPARIPA......... YEPARIPA......... YEPARIPA......... YEPARIPA......... MO TIN MBOOOOOOOOOOO

15.OH SHIT,SHIT,SHIT,SHIT, MAKE ME CUM BABY,MAKE ME CUM! SHIT,OH SHIT,I CANT TAKE DIS CURSE MY MAMA,YEESH ABEG CURSE MY PAPA,SAY MY MAMA NA ONYEBERIIIBEEEEEE!

16. The Pain taker.- E dey pain you... Ehn... Make I remove am....Nooooo Noooooo Noooooooooooooooooooo.......

17.The Guarantor.- E no go tear.....hit am well.. welll. e no tearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Recognise thineself? LOL!

Thanks for reading
Mena 


Wednesday, 30 September 2015

THINK YOU HAD A BAD DAY?

Hi

Following this and this story. Here is one more unedited and true story that makes you ponder...






I was born around 1968 and married my high school sweetheart at the age of 20. A day before the traditional marriage, somebody from my father's side of the family confronted me and said it would be over her dead body before I will have any children since I chose to marry before some of my elders who were still unmarried. I gave my life to Jesus that same year and started praying. I was unable to have children until this woman died after FIVE years of marriage.
On February 22nd, 1989, I fell into an Aquarium glass that almost killed me at Fola Agoro where I was working then as a sales representative, while I was in the hospital, a family member showed up in my dream and said I would not survive the attack. I prayed fervently and asked the Lord to take care of the situation. I survived. (The person died).
In 1992, ( I forgot the exact date), somebody threatened to kill me in my dream, when I woke up, I prayed that God should deliver me from this attack. I went later that day to Mosafejo Market in Oshodi and fell into a big Canal where you board Ketu busses. It took three strong men to drag me out of that pit. I survived again.
Two years after I joined my husband in the States, I had a terrible dream that I was being deported even though I had a "Green Card". On May 31st, 1997, three months after the dream, we visited Nigeria, and my husband left and ran away leaving me and our 3 years old son. God used my boss, Rev. Bosun Ayinde and his wife, Mrs. Peju Ayinde, of Akinola Cole Crescent, Ikeja, with the help of Immigration Officer Popoola and Custom Officer Nta to get me back to the United States after two and a half months of suffering and struggling.
On June 3rd, 2003, after two days of another terrible dream from these wicked people, my three children with their father, (my new husband) were involved in a terrible car accident. All hope were lost, but I cried to Almighty God who performed the greatest miracle of all! Everybody Survived!!! I continued praying and fasting.
On February 25, 2008, I saw in my vision, these wicked spirits told me that they will not rest until they destroy me. I responded that the Lord God whom I serve everyday will avenge and vindicate me as I never do anything do them, and that God will fight my battle for me. The next day, at 6:30am, there was a terrible storm in Atlanta that destroyed GA Dome and World Congress Center. Unfortunately my home was among those that were destroyed. To God be the glory, my three children and their father survived the disaster (I was at work). Halleluyah!!!
The Bible says many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord his God delivered him from them all.
My brethren, this is the reason I fight and seek the destruction of my enemies and I also extend these prayers to others who might be going through what I have been through.
I pray that the Lord who had delivered me from all these calamities will deliver you too in Jesus name. Amen.

-------------------------


As written by Taibatu O.O.

Tuesday, 22 September 2015

WON TI BERE OOOO

Found this funny story! I used to live in crazy Lagos and as funny as this is, it could have happened....enjoy


This Lagos sef don tire me. Jeje I was sitting in my car on a very long fuel queue from the Mobil in Maryland. This queue was almost getting to Anthony bus stop. It was one of those days when there was no fuel at all. Suddenly na him I see one guy run past my car with jerry can in one hand shouting "won ti bere oooooo"I quickly jumped out of my car opened my booth, got my jerry can and ran after him. He kept on running towards Maryland. When he got to the filling station he shouted again "won ti bere oooo" this in yoruba actually means they have started oooooo.
He ran past the filling station and headed towards Sheraton hotel. Those that know this area will understand the distance. I tried to run faster to catch up and ask Kini won bere? Meaning "what have they started?" But this boy ran faster. I looked back and I saw like 6 people had joined us everybody with jerry can in one hand. We continued past Sheraton and headed towards Ikeja bus stop. When we got to Ikeja bus stop he shouted again won ti bere oooooo. ....and continued running we all continued asking each other wetin happen but nobody seemed to know as we chased after him.
Finally we got to oshodi isale and he shouted again by this time we were like 40 people running after him all of us with jerry can in one hand. He shouted again won ti bere oooooo!!!!!! He continued running towards iyana Isolo and finally after getting to iyana Isolo he stopped and we were all gasping for breath both men and women, some with pot bellies, I moved close to him and asked Kini won bere?
He answered Chelsea ati Arsenal ni, won ti bere match!! I fainted.


Have a peaceful holiday!

xo
Mena

Saturday, 29 August 2015

HUMAN AND LOOKING FOR PEACE AND HAPPINESS?

Read these words and ponder a bit.....



You were born in a first class hospital, I was
delivered at home, we both survived. You went to
a private school and I went to a razz government
school, we both ended in the same University.
You woke up from the bed and I woke from the
floor, we both had a peaceful night rest. Your
outfits are all expensive, mine are all simple and
cheap, we both still cover our nakedness. You ate
expensive food, I ate cheap food
but we both still ate to our satisfaction.
You ride on Lexus jeep, Range Rover, G Wagon,
Hummer Jeep and I use public transport but we
still got to our various destination. You may be
reading this post from your very expensive tech product  and I typed it with my basic one,
we still see the same thing, you got married in
  an exotic placeand I married in a cheap affordable place, we both wore ring
and people ate and had fun.
 
Life is not a competition and there are different
ways to get a lot of things done, different lanes
all leading to the same destination. Just because
your neighbour is doing things faster does not
mean you are failing.
Happiness doesn't come from having everything,
but from making the best out of what you have,
it's all about how you see yourself.
God bless us all!

Sunday, 4 January 2015

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS....!!! (at least Tozo, Abodi and Kpomo no dey the list

Hello!


So I am a member of this weight watch group and the challenge is listed below

 This will  be kept in the 'mena makes no promises mena cant keep box'
Think this is really doable?

VERY GRATEFUL! HAPPY 2015! WE MADE IT! AND A MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOUUU.


 



Soo what are you thoughts on forward mail? Are you like me who deletes by default? I have a friend who only forwards mail to me, and then considers that to be communication! Well the fact that I never reply should indicate that consider that to be b*ll sh*t!!

Then again, you do get the odd one that is so nicely done that it gives that warm feeling in your heart.
The following poem is about showing appreciation for everything. I find it timely as I spend so much of my time worrying about the future, that I hardly appreciate the present. Infact I should stop right here, this minutes and say thank you: "Father in Heaven I thank You for bringing me thus far, Great is Thy faithfulness upon me as well as the person reading this page. You deserve all the praise and adoration, in Jesus name, Amen!"

Enjoy!

=====================================================================================
I AM THANKFUL:


FOR THE WIFE
WHO SAYS IT’S MR. BIGGS / BURGER KING / KFC / TANTALIZERS TONIGHT...
BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME, AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.





FOR THE HUSBAND
WHO IS ON THE SOFA WATCHING FOOTBALL...
BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME,
AND NOT OUT AT THE BAR WITH OTHER CHICS.



FOR THE TEENAGER
WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES...
BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME,
NOT ON THE STREETS.





FOR THE TAXES I PAY...
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM EMPLOYED.

FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY...
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.



FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG...
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.





FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK...
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE.



FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING,
WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING,
AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING...
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME




FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING
I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT, ELECTION MALPRACTICES...
BECAUSE IT MEANS WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH.



FOR THE PARKING SPOT
I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT...
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING
AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION .



FOR MY HUGE ELECTRICITY BILL...
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE LIGHT.



FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH
WHO SINGS OFF KEY...
BECAUSE IT MEANS I CAN HEAR.



FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING...
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.



FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES
AT THE END OF THE DAY...
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.



FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS...
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.



AND I AM THANKFUL:
FOR THE crazy people I work with...
BECAUSE they make work interesting and fun!



AND FINALLY, FOR TOO MUCH E-MAIL

BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE
THINKING OF ME.

SEND THIS TO SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT.
I JUST DID.

Live well, Laugh often, & Love with all of your heart

Wish you love, laughter and peace

Mena
x




Saturday, 11 October 2014

HELP ME 7 ( DIAGNOSED WITH BREAST CANCER..TODAY MY PARTNER LEFT ME TO DEAL WITH IT AS WELL AS THE CHILDREN BUT NOT BEFORE TELLING ME I DESERVED TO GET CANCER )

Hello!!!


So I have been M.I.A. I went to India for about a month and a half and wow the experience is very different to every single thing I am used too. I will probably publish some of my experiences and photos here soon.

I hope you have all been very well. Any thing new? Please lets share.

By my thinking any one of us can be silently going through terrible ordeals in our lives thinking we are alone, and believing there is no solution, no way out, well there is a way out! All you need to do is speak out or write anonymously, someone somewhere will respond to you. You are never alone, certainly not in blogsville. So I was browsing blogsville when I came across some stories. They claim to be true life stories and the writers actually need our advice, love or just a silent prayer. I couldnt resist but bring some of them to them to my blog so readers who have gone though a similar experience can play agony aunt and give them solutions. Or you can even give them some tough love as well. They will be published from time to time in a series titled 'HELP', this is the seventh part.....You can findHelp 1 Help 2 Help 3 Help 4  Help 5 and Help 6 just by a click...

Help7.....






Her Story: 
"....For months I had put off going to the doctors about a lump I found in my breast.  As i walked into the consultants room the look on the doctors face said it all.

I had been to see the very same doctor two weeks previously for a core biopsy on a large lump in my right breast and a sample biopsy from my lymph nodes. For some reason i was hoping everything was going to be OK but it seemed it wasn't.

"You have Breast Cancer" he said in a very clinical manner...... No bed side manner at all. Everything i planned to say to him totally left my mind and i just sat there sobbing my eyes out. The thought of not being here for my children was the only thing i could think of. How do i tell them? How do i tell my parents? And how the hell do i tell my partner?..I did.

Current situation: Diagnosed with breast cancer two weeks ago.....today my partner of many years just leave me to deal with children.....but not after telling me i deserved to get cancer....

This is Heartwrenching! I am in literally in tears


Sunday, 10 August 2014

LOVE DRUGS, I MEAN THE TYPE YOU SMOKE? THEN PUT YOUR LIGHTERS IN THE AIR AND ENJOY THIS FUNNY ARTICLE ....by Ena Ofugara

Hello!

Waaay to many sad stories and whats worse some aspects of the media are gourging on yellow journalism, only causing mass hyseria! Please enjoy this humorous post, to laugh off the stress 

 

America no go kill me!!! You know in this country America, igbo (weed) is the starting point.
So when I got this new job and we were required to come for the drug test, I had an idea how it goes. During my alcohol and drugs class for my driver's license, I learnt igbo stays in the system for twenty one days...that is if you smoked igbo at second week of February, if you took a drug test by same february, it will show you are an "igbobian". (drug user)
I remember the first time I was scheduled to go last year on my visit to faraway Texas, how my brother Riete Ofugara was looking at me asking if i was sure I would pass the test. I was like
"shoo bros, my jaguda no reach igbo side na. shooo"
and Riete says
"Ena you sure????"


Okay this test, we are about twenty and straight off the bat, I identify this "igbobian". Yes he wore a tie and shirt and looked nice but his eyes were a little too red and dreamy. So i am watching this dude saying in my mind "why this guy bother come here sef? How he want take pass?"
And then trust the two girls seated next to me. One was a Jamaican from her Buju Banton accent, the other American
Jamaican :"wah ya niame" The ugly one who is the Jamaican girl asked me
(why na the wowo girls dey start conversation sef? Why not the fine one?')
ENA "I am Ena...it is actually a very long name but everyone calls me Ena"
Jamaican: Ya smoke?
ENA: Yes fish. I smoke fish. You use it to drink garri.
Jamaican: Garri? You must be Nigerian. I like Nigerians I have dated quite a few
ENA: By few how many?
Jamaican: haha. Buoy you funny. I said a few. haha. Why ya ask me how many?
American fine one: haha. Tanya has dated quite a lot. She wanted to talk to you cos she said you WAS Nigerian.
Jamaican: (To American). Gyal ya talk shit ua know?. Okay, Nigerian, you smoke weed?
ENA: What is weed? (In my mind. "dem send una come? Una be spy abi my village weeeensh???)
Jamaican: Ya know what weed is.Grass
ENA: We clear or rather cut grass in my country with ojigbe...you know cutlas...machete
American: He funny. I bet he knows what weed is.
Jamaican: I am talking ganja, kaya, Indonesia, sensimila...me know ya know.
American: Marijuana
ENA: Oh Marijuana? I have seen it on TV. (una papa! Na me una want set up. I jump una pass in Jesus name AMEN!!!)
"Attention everybody" the lady in charge says. "You all must sign the consent form for us to be able to test your urine for drugs and alcohol"
(shoo, booze join?)
And so we were given forms. Yes O! For everything in this country you must sign a consent form. It is the first time i am seeing consent form to take my piss. Well as long as it is not babalawo's cup I am peeing in (voodoo priest) I will give them as much urine as they want.



After the signing of the forms we were given some magic cup to pee in. And so we went on a line to use the bathroom. we were bodysearched and i did not fully understand why. But my eyes were on this American boy whose eyes were a bit too Don Jazzy-like. He was moving from one foot to the other and clearly uncomfortable.
well I went in peeing the cup, wrote my name on the label and submitted. Don Jazzy look alike made sure he was last and then submitted his cup.
There was no long wait. Right there and then oyibo (white people) simply peeled the label and on it were writings and they started computing it in our presence. and then it happened. The oyibo women started laughing and they called Don Jazzy "who is Mr jeffrey Anderson?"
Jeffrey got up. I knew this would happen. I knew he was an Igbobian
Woman in Charge "Is this your urine? Will you please take this cup and pee for us again? There seems to be a problem with your urine sample. We need to redo it"
Jeffrey: (the Don jazzy guy) I ain't got no pee left. I just peed"
Woman in Charge: em...we will give you some juice or water or soda (na soda dem dey call mineral) and you can take it now and in 30 minutes to an hour you should have enough for us. We are sorry"
Jeffrey: Just tell me what the problem is.
Woman in Charge: em..are you sure?
Jeffrey: yeah. What is it?
Woman in charge: According to this urine analysis, you are pregnant.
(silence then laughter.) It is why we need to retake it.
Jeffrey: shiiiiiiiit!!! dayum!!!! pregnant? She fucking said she was on the fucking pill men. shiiiiit!!!
Woman in Charge: She?
(another round of laughter)
Jeffrey: shiiiit my girl be tryna trick me men. I aint got money for child support. She said she was on the pill and now she pregnant. I ain't going down like that men.
(more laughter)
Woman in Charge: We didn't test her we tested you. You....
Jeffrey: Damn bitch, I ain't no tranvestite. I am a man. How can i be pregnant? It was her pee men. I tried to not smoke but me and my boys went out and I was like I had a job interview but my boys were smoking and i was like i should smoke too. shiiiit. I got her pee men! She didn't fucking tell me she was pregnant. Bitch tryna play me men!!!!.
Woman in Charge:...well..you will have to excuse us. What you did was...
Jeffrey: (Quiet) Men I need this job men! I am on welfare and all.My mom kicked me out that I smoke too much weed. She smokes too. Nobody kicked her out (for her own house?who want kick her out? Oghene biko!)
And then another nonsense happened.
Jeffrey "Hey Nigeria" (I looked around and was wondering who he was talking to) Yes you with the blue tie. (chei na me he dey talk to) Gimme your lighter, I got one last joint i need to smoke men. Bitch be stressing me
ENA: (In pidgin English ) Guy!!! why you want involve me na shoooo! them send you come?
(raucous laughter with "what did he say? what did he say")
Jeffrey: What did you say?
(I put myself together and calmed down)
ENA: jeffrey, why do want to do this to me huh? I don't smoke weed.
Jeffrey: I never said you did. I said gimme a light bruv
Woman in Charge: (dips her hand in her jacket and gives him a lighter.) Take it and you can't smoke on the premises and you have to leave us now.
Jeffrey: thanks. My girl crazy i tell ya. (he leaves. Raucous laughter)
Jamaican: Why he ask ya fi light? me tell ya say ya smoke ya say ya na smoke weed.
ENA: Listen Patra, (I call her the name of that Jamaican singer) I do not smoke. You guys are like Satans to me right now and i say get thee behind me.
(another bout of laughter)
And so the results are handed to us. The lady in charge kept smiling at me when she gave me the papers. Everyone was staring at me when i got mine and the list of drugs i saw on that paper I have never heard before. just one cup and label peeled off and it revealed that of over forty drugs i was negative for all. Trust me as i raised my paper and said
"um... I am drug-free. I am alcohol free. I do not even take aspirin. I pray when sick and Jesus heals me
(raucous laughter) "una dey laugh abi?" i continued in pidgin as i took my seat.
Needless to say i am the most popular guy where I work and they keep asking me
"Hey Nigeria, gimme your light."
But where did that guy hide the pee of his girlfriend that a bodysearch did not reveal? Did he keep it in his mouth????? If yes, did she pee in a cup and he drank it or was it direct from source?
America no go kill me

Written by good friend Ena too Bam
Source

Sunday, 25 May 2014

"LOVE" LETTER TO ALL WOMEN ( This story contains extremely disturbing subject matter. Reader discretion is strongly advised.)




Elliot Rodger went on a shooting rampage in Santa Barbara, California. He is son of Peter Rodger The Hunger Games assistant director. He was raised in the movie culture of Hollywood. His writings say so much about the values he learned from movies and violent video games.

The 22-year-old wrote that “the ultimate evil behind sexuality is the human female.” He added that they “think like beasts” and “should not have the right to choose who to mate and breed with.”

  In his perfect society, Rodger would be the Earth’s “divine ruler,” where he would quarantine all women in concentration camps and then starve them to death.

In his own words:

 Mena: I dont understand how sex is so overrated and so important to people that they think to such extremes....Anyway it is hollywierd, this young man was not raised right, and even as a young adult he finds it difficult to think logically!!!!

 SOURCE

Thursday, 22 May 2014

An online prank or was there really a black Queen in the United Kingdom?

Black history claims this but....you be the judge;

Princess Sophie Charlotte was born in 1744. She was the first Black Queen of England.
Charlotte was the eighth child of the Prince of Mirow, Germany, Charles Louis Frederick, and his wife, Elisabeth Albertina of Saxe-Hildburghausen. In 1752, when she was eight years old, Sophie Charlotte's father died. As princess of Mecklenburg-Strelitz, Sophie Charlotte was descended directly from an African branch of the Portuguese Royal House, Margarita de Castro y Sousa. Six different lines can be traced from Princess Sophie Charlotte back to Margarita de Castro y Sousa. She married George III of England on September 8, 1761, at the Chapel Royal in St James’s Palace, London, at the age of 17 years of age becoming the Queen of England and Ireland.


Their were conditions in the contract for marriage, ‘The young princess, join the Anglican church and be married according to Anglican rites, and never ever involve herself in politics’. Although the Queen had an interest in what was happening in the world, especially the war in America, she fulfilled her marital agreement. The Royal couple had fifteen children, thirteen of whom survived to adulthood. Their fourth eldest son was Edward Augustus, Duke of Kent, later fathered Queen Victoria.
Queen Charlotte made many contributions to Britain as it is today, though the evidence is not obvious or well publicized. Her African bloodline in the British royal family is not common knowledge. Portraits of the Queen had been reduced to fiction of the Black Magi, until two art historians suggested that the definite African features of the paintings derived from actual subjects, not the minds of painters.


In Queen Charlotte’s era slavery was prevalent and the anti-slavery campaign was growing. Portrait painters of the royal family were expected to play down or soften Queen Charlotte's African features. Painters such as Sir Thomas Lawrence, who painted, Queen Charlotte in the autumn of 1789 had their paintings rejected by the royal couple who were not happy with the representations of the likeness of the Queen. These portraits are amongst those that are available to view now, which could be seen as continuing the political interests of those that disapprove of a multi-racial royal family for Britain. Sir Allan Ramsey produced the most African representations of the Queen and was responsible for the majority of the paintings of the Queen. Ramsey’s inclination to paint truer versions of the Queen could be seen to have come from being ‘an anti-slavery intellectual of his day. The Coronation painting by Ramsey, of the Queen was sent out to the colonies/commonwealth and played a subtle political role in the anti-slavery movement. Johann Zoffany also frequently painted the Royal family in informal family scenes.

Queen Charlotte was a learned character, her letters indicate that she was well read and had interests in the fine arts. The Queen is known to have supported and been taught music by Johann Christian Bach. She was extremely generous to Bach’s wife after Bach’s death. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, at aged eight dedicated his Opus 3 piece to the Queen at her request. Also an amateur botanist, Queen Charlotte helped to establish Kew Gardens bringing amongst others the Strelitzia Reginae, a flowering plant from South Africa. The Queen who had the first one in her house in 1800 introduced the Christmas tree to England. It was said to be decorated with, ‘sweetmeats, almonds and raisins in papers, fruit and toys. Also the Queen Charlotte Maternity hospital was established in London. Set up as a charitable institution, it is the oldest maternity care institution in England.

Queen Charlotte died on November 17, 1818 at Dutch House in Surrey, now Kew Palace, in the presence of her eldest son, the Prince Regent. She is buried at St George’s Chapel, Windsor. The only private writings that have survived are Queen Charlotte's 444 letters to her closest confidant her older brother, Charles II, Grand Duke of Mecklenburg-Strelitz. On 23 May 1773 in a letter, the Queen felt she was in a position of privilege yet a task. Her Christian faith was a protection and a method of endurance, as she quotes from the Bible and recognizes her role as a royal of God beyond her royal role on earth. An exhibition took place in 2004, at the Queen’s Gallery, Buckingham Palace displaying Charlotte and George’s collections and tastes in the arts. Queen Charlotte was the great great-great grandmother of the present Queen Elizabeth II who still lives in the expanded Buckingham House, now Buckingham Palace. Kew gardens still flourishes and is always being expanded, also the Queen Charlotte maternity hospital and many other places still carry her name in honor globally such as Charlotte town, Canada and Fort Charlotte, St Vincent, West Indies.

Sunday, 4 May 2014

Deny housing to Blacks.... they “smell, and attract vermin,”

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar,  former NBA all-star, who played for the Milwaukee Bucks and L.A. Lakers from 1969 to 1989,  has no sympathy for Sterling.



But he is upset that everyone is acting so surprised, noting that the NBA owner has said offensive comments in the past and has been sued over both housing and employment discrimination.

Abdul-Jabbar, in an op-ed piece in TIME attacked the collective outrage emanating from America’s media over Sterling’s aremarks to his girlfriend, calling the publication of a private conversation “sleazy” and wondering why earlier, more public manifestations of racism failed to shock those such as Al Sharpton, and the NAACP.
Abdul-Jabbar explains that we’re witnessing a veritable “finger-wagging Olympics . . . all over the latest in a long line of rich white celebrities to come out of the racist closet.”
“Yes, I’m angry, too,” Abdul-Jabbar admits, “but not just about the sins of Donald Sterling. I’ve got a list.”
That list includes Sterling’s girlfriend, V. Stiviano, whose voice is heard on the racially-loaded tape and who likely set the Clippers’ owner up.
“Man, what a winding road she led him down to get all of that out,” he mocked. “She was like a sexy nanny playing ‘pin the fried chicken on the Sambo.’ She blindfolded him and spun him around until he was just blathering all sorts of incoherent racist sound bites that had the news media peeing themselves with glee.”
And speaking of the news media? “They caught big game on a slow news day,” Abdul-Jabbar explained, “so they put his head on a pike, dubbed him Lord of the Flies, and danced around him whooping.”

He wonders why everyone is acting so surprised, noting that the NBA owner has said offensive comments in the past and has been sued over both housing and employment discrimination.
The NAACP “did nothing” after Sterling was forced to pay a staggering $3 million fine for denying housing to Blacks, saying they “smell, and attract vermin,” Abdul-Jabbar noted. They were even going to present Sterling with an NAACP award on May 15th, with the Rev. Al Sharpton on hand. “Suddenly he says he doesn’t want his girlfriend posing with Magic Johnson on Instagram and we bring out the torches and rope. Shouldn’t we have all called for his resignation back then?
Abdul-Jabbar is correct, but it is worse than that. The NAACP accepted multiple grants from the Donald T. Sterling Charitable Foundation and handed Sterling several “image awards” — despite full knowledge of his prior, massive fine for discrimination against Blacks in his slumlord housing.
Abdul-Jabbar, perhaps channeling his closet libertarianism, also blasted the fact that Sterling’s private conversation — however racist — was suddenly broadcast nationwide.
“Didn’t we just call to task the NSA for intruding into American citizen’s privacy in such an un-American way?” he asked, comparing the secret tape-recording to Mitt Romney’s embarrassing 47 percent remark, recorded without the then-candidate’s knowledge.
“The making and release of this tape is so sleazy that just listening to it makes me feel like an accomplice to the crime,” Abdul-Jabbar fumed. “We didn’t steal the cake but we’re all gorging ourselves on it.”
“So, if we’re all going to be outraged,” the former NBA star wrapped up, “let’s be outraged that we weren’t more outraged when his racism was first evident. Let’s be outraged that private conversations between people in an intimate relationship are recorded and publicly played. Let’s be outraged that whoever did the betraying will probably get a book deal, a sitcom, trade recipes with Hoda and Kathie Lee, and soon appear on ‘Celebrity Apprentice’ and ‘Dancing with the Stars.’”

Source: http://toprightnews.com/?p=2777

Mena: His views appears balanced and quite frankly can be used in comparison to some of the faux outrage and mass hysteria that occur in the online Nigerian community, where some sensational and possibly made up headline takes precedence over relevant issues.
Perhaps one day we will see the light.....