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Saturday, 27 March 2010

What is this life if full of care, we have not time to stand and stare :/

As you may have noticed, I have taken a bit of time of my regular life to escape through blogging. I think its a much needed, healthier form of therapy and the icing on the cake is how relatively anonymous I am when compared with my facebook account. Typing out my thoughts helps me think more clearly.

I wonder if we realise we have been through a lot..well i have; from the time i was packed up, sobbing and scared, into boarding school, my uni days,postgrad,work at kerrylogistics,union bank,younis,sevenup..then my constant worry abt the future,its been a long ride.

The following prose best describes a typical period in my life:

Its a rat race, this life, so full of care! No time to pause. Have to analyse group processes and behaviour. Hmm have i got that annual report? should my assignments be on blood diamonds?or niger delta. I muussstt ggoo tooo bed zzzz

*alarm rings* Must wake up now and head to work! ARGH! Forgot about Strategy assignments. Oops my manager can see me write a reminder to myself....she is frowing.should try to relax. Managed to get through work.

*rrriing* oh my phone? "hello" " hi, its me Jacky, just called to tell you that i am getting married" Great..ok, must send money to support her since i cant be there...have to study and remember the nature of leadership..does that mad man(leadership tutor) really expect me to read 4 textbooks? I went to the library, did some facebooking and started studying..

"YOU have 30minutes till we close the library" says the library security guy. Hmm, didnt realise the time was so far gone. Get books in bag and rush to head home.
*Stupid immigrants, we cant even find a place to seat" cursed a white obviously drunk guy. The bus was full, so he had to stand, methinks he should deal with it!

Got home, hmm, my stew is off, no food. So had to eat some bread. While eating, my mind warns me: "This is not healthy eating, your waistline has massively increased since you became busy".
" I know", I mind. "How ironic, the busier the less healthy I eat"! I make a subconsious plan to eat healthy or buy diet pills!!
Try to go to bed. argh !whats that noise now. cant believe she is creating a disturbance at this time of the night.well there goes my sleep.

I woke up in panic! My alwarm didnt go off!Gosh, i will be late for work. She caught me!"Mena, can you come into my office, i would like to have a word with you."*oh brother!*

"Mena!" she continues, "we are going to be short staffed so you may need to multitask, I am counting on you to deliver on sales" Ok, no pressure.

*RING* "hello,long time. Mena, you dont keep in touch anymore. well Jacky junior is now 5 months." "Thank God" i say. how time flies...MUST RELAX.

*riiing* a familiar ringtone,my heart goes a flutter."Hello Dude! what a nice surprise! I really miss you " "Mena, look we need to talk". The dreaded words.I blank out,but come round to hear;"its not you,its me".Huh?i think to myself, "what a complete waste of time and energy,and expensive foundation, yet all he can come up with,is, its not you its me? "Ok no stress, (as usual i keep the pain inside)good bye then....."

Must focus on only positives. *RING* hello?"Mena! Mena!!.its mum,your dad said i should tell you that he is counting on you" ARGH so much pressure from all angles. i must try to relax. note to self. Do not be anxious for anything....

Assessments are almost here. I hear a whisper in my ear."Mena, pls could you help me with.." I reply as usual,"sure i can, just send it to me and i will do it for you.." 9hours later,*ARGH* forgot to cook a healthy meals again, had to eat junk food! "Mena you are among the 20 percent that passed with no retakes..Please can you advice the new intakes on how you managed that achievement?"...I am? Must be a fluke! Must concentrate,must focus, from where comes my strength....

*ring* Its my good friend, Onyinye: "Mena,where have you been? You dont pick up calls anymore, Sade thinks you are jealous she is getting married because you didnt bother to buy her asoebi...". I am totally gobsmacked, "quite franky I think sade must have an overbloated opinion about herself" I my head of course. Dont want to feed into Sade's unfounded paranoia. Jealous sha? kmft! Needless to say, I didnt respond to that, but kept the discussion on Onyinye.

*ring* Mena, its me mum, I have a tumour and I am going to have it removed so they can check if its cancerous or not"

My world came crashing down and YET I still had a busy life!!!

This poem sort of sums it all up!

Here i am sitting in my office @ night…
Thinking hard about life
How it changed from a maverick college life to strict professional life…...

How tiny pocket money changed to huge monthly paychecks
but then why it gives lesss happiness….

How a few local denim jeans changed to new branded wardrobe
but then why 's there less time to use them

How a single plate of samosa changed to a full Pizza or burger
But then why there is less hunger…..

Here i am sitting in my office @ night…
Thinking hard about life
How it changed…..

How a bike always in reserve changed to car always Full on
but then why there are less places to go on……

How a small coffee shop changed to cafe coffee day
but then why its feels like shop is far away…..

How a limited prepaid card changed to postpaid package
but then why there are less calls & more messages……

Here i am sitting in my office @ night…
Thinking hard about life
How it changed…...

How a general class journey changed to Flight journey
But then why there are less vacations for enjoyment….

How a old assembled desktop changed to new branded laptop
but then why there is less time to put it on……….

How a small bunch of friends changed to office mate
But then why we always feel lonely n miss those college frnz.….

Here i am sitting in my office @ night…
Thinking hard about life
How it changed….. How it changed…….


Ana Goncalves said...

Dear Mena,
Sounds like there is a lot going on in your world, and like at the same time you have found quietness in transforming such a busy life into an expression of poetry.
I hope this brings a sense of balance to you, if not your life.
Keep well, and it's good to connect with you.

Nutty J. said...

Breath In....Breath out....whooossaah!!

There you need a break!!!

The life is a race, but its a race within a circle. we start by 4am,5am or 6am and start all over again by the next 4am, 5am or 6am...over and over again...what can we do?

All we can do sometimes in Inhale deeply....then exhale.... is well.

Talking Iguana said...

Blogging does seem to help put all the craziness in perspective. It's like you can step back for a moment and see it but not have to dwell there too long. Thanks for the insight.