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Friday, 15 April 2011

YOU DESERVE TO BE SEXUALLY ASSAULTED! AGREE OR DISAGREE?



Hello!!! :)

So, on facebook I once came across a page, whose owner proclaimed:

" A LADY THAT DRESSES PROVOCATIVELY IS BEGGING FOR IT AND DESERVES TO BE SEXUALLY ASSAULTED "

So I asked on my on page: To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement above?

The comments came in fast and furious!! Let me stop there so as not to influence any one's comments on this version.

So I ask this same question on my blog page. a. Do you agree or disagree in any way with the argument that someone deserves to be sexually assaulted based on how they present their sexual parts and why? b. Is your answer based on the gender of the person? i.e. Would your answer be the same if it were a man displaying his sexual parts?

1001 thanks for stopping by and/or commenting, have a splendid TGIF!!

Mena

Photo sources : Google images and the off side

29 comments:

T.Notes said...

First!And so,i'll kick this off with a frank response.
My answer,Yes!!!Do you see what some of you chics wear these days?Haba now,the man's body is not made of tin or wood. Good Lord,these days i take a walk along the road, and you know those tights women wear in the u.k, some of them are 100% see-thru, and she finishes it off with thongs underneath!Tell me, is that not literally begging the man to come and have a go, or worse still teasing him?!!!

To finish off on a sensible note...truth is,for us men,we just accept that that's the new insanity of our days and do best to live with it. If we would be raping any girl that prances about in mini see-thru skirts, how many would we rape?!

Mena UkodoisReady said...

Tnotes, long time! How you dey?

errr, You forgot the second part of the question sir.

Would your answer be the same for a sexy man?


He is just as provocative as a lady, so whats your take?

*I await with baited breath..*

Anonymous said...

My dear for both, my answer will be a resounding yes...not that we are animals but really and truly, just you take a closer look at those two bodies...SMH

By the way, I am a warm blooded female...LOL

Ginger said...

Sexual assault is an assault of a sexual nature on another person, or any sexual act committed without consent. Although sexual assaults most frequently are by a man on a woman, it may be by a man on a man, woman on a man or woman on a woman,[1] adult on a child, adult on an adult, child on a child or child on an adult.

While sexual assaults are associated with the crime of rape, the category includes assaults other than rape.[2] Sexual assault may include rape, forced vaginal, anal or oral penetration, forced sexual intercourse, inappropriate touching, forced kissing, child sexual abuse, or the torture of the victim in a sexual manner.

kitkat said...

No one deserves to be sexually assaulted. I dont support indecent dressing but that doesnt give anyone the leeway to assault someone else. And it depends on what indecent dressing is. For me, it is when someone wears something that fully reveals the parts that shouldnt be revealed(lol) but for a jehovah's witness, it may be someone that wears shorts or short dresses. Either way, no body should assault anyone! shikena!

Ginger said...

Mena, we trivialize rape when we relate it to how a woman or man dresses. It has never been about that. If that were the case, in the West wherein people abandon their clothes in summer, we should be having the highest rape reports. It is not about clothes. it is not about appropriate or inappropriate naked flesh.
It is about power and control. It is about the individual who finds his kicks in subduing, controlling and abusing a perceived weaker person. Very few Rape victims are slutty dressers. In fact the type we refer to can probably protect themselves well.
Of course we should try and behave in conformity with the dictates of the particular society we live in in our dressing but if we dont, it is still not anyone's right to touch, assault or physically abuse me.
Sorry its long but I love to hate this topic. The saddest fact is that we women are our own worst enemies in this issue.

Olori said...

*clears throat properly* my answer will be a resounding NO!!! no one asks to be sexually assaulted o. If a guy can go out naked and enjoy the breeze without fear of being sexually assaulted, then why should a woman not have the same right? and about self control, please I would like to give men more props than that, they are not dogs and should be able to prevent themselves from humping everything, everywhere. that being said, society doesn't share my views so women will be wiser to take more precautions like cover up more and not walk alone at nite in order to stay safe. but the fact that she decides not to take these steps means she may be a bit careless but doesnt imply she is asking for/deserves to be sexually assaulted. thats the long ans lol. my short ans i guess is NO and my ans will be the same for man and woman kinda

Prism of an immigrant said...

My answer goes for men, women, trans, queer, everyone.

No one deserves to be raped because of how they dress. We are each responsible for our actions. People should learn self-control. Remove your eyes or walk away if someone is indecently dressed.

The Corner Shop said...

My answer is a resounding NO!! No matter how anyone dresses, whether you're a man or woman, you don't deserve to be forced into anything. Even in a court of law, a defense against rape is never 'but she was wearing skimpy stuff'. It's an infringement on someone's moral and civic rights.

My answer is the same for men!

Adiya

9jaFOODie said...

NO NO NO...... The way u present urself is a personal thing, Morals and religion aside. No one in this world asks to be sexually assaulted.

Anonymous said...

T.Notes,

You try humping/raping a woman because she is skimpily dressed in the western world and see how quickly you will be thrown behind bars. Even worse, here in the US, women walk with guns, pocket knives and pepper sprays in their handbags. Try raping a woman you feel is skimpily dressed and you might just get brutally killed and find your lustful, sex addicted, possibly already HIV infected behind at hell's gate! As for what happens in Naija, I don't know neither do I care!

Wild Boy said...

There is a notion/motive before anyone at all settles for an outfit. If you want to get at someone, go to his/her house and begin peeling your clothes off.
I made a similar remark on NG's blog as regards rape. There are speedos and thongs for men too, but you'll never see it on a man except he wants you to. How would women feel if men went around town with shorts as maaad as these their bum shorts because we have them too but we only wear them to wash ur beloved cars, chill/ barbecue/beer at home or pleasure our spouses.If you see nothing wrong, then let my brothers bring on the netty tops with our nipples peeking between one of the holes, sagging pants and we do well without under wears where you can see that little lawn in the cracks of some asses.. etc
Seriously women should cover up more....im fine with every woman having a closet full of those badht clothes and even a pole in the bedroom with red and blue lights doing IT for her hubby, boyfriend(s), friends, sugardaddies...i seriously dont care but when i'm having serious thoughts on the road, the last ting i want is a hard on after seeing a thong especially on a well sculptured ass.

Ibhade said...

@wild boy, thanks for the mention & i concur..to mena, my answer is; DISAGREE..scanty clothes is not an excuse to sexually assault any of the gender, simply 'comot eye'.

Surprise said...

I disagree that someone deserves to be sexually assaulted based on how they present their sexual parts. This is because it is against our constitution. If this is allowed, then we would have a situation that would go out of hand, as anybody could be assaulted on a flimsy excuse of being indecently dressed. Even in a red light zone, you don't go there to assault, rather you go there to bargain. If someone presents a sexual part that get you aroused, then the best thing is to try and woo such person. If the person agree to your wooing, best of luck.But if the person refuse your wooing just look the parts very well and go your way. Nobody will arrest you for looking at what is presented freely. I.e. 'lookery' is not an offence.

B. My answer remains the same if it is guy that presents his parts.

Chizy K said...

no one deserves to b sexually assaulted, but undeniably, men re almost never sexually assaulted. those who feel they shld b sexually assaulted may as well assault all d american pornstars n strip club dancers who leave those lifestyle.
This is not to say that i support provocative outfit by any chance

Natural Nigerian said...

In a few words, that is crap.

While I am all for decent dressing, in some African cultures it is customary for a woman to go around topless. Should they all be raped then?

Lily Johnson said...

NO NO! Nobody deserves to be sexually assaulted. I actually don't like indecent dressing but women or men shouldn't be assaulted because of that.
Funny enough, many sexual assault cases aint due to indecent dressing or exposure of certain body parts.

Tatababe said...

I don't care if the person is walking naked on the streets, no one (male or female) deserves to be sexually assaulted. So what if the clothes they're putting on is too revealing, na your body?! Which one be she/he's asking for it because of the way they're dressed? The fact remains that it's against the person's will and nothing can justify such an act. NOTHING!

ibiluv said...

no one deserves to be assaulted

sexually or otherwise

Myne Whitman said...

No matter the gender or the dressing, no one deserves to be raped, full stop.

henry said...

No one deserves to be sexually assaulted.Under no conditions can rape be justified,regardless.
He are a couple of "light" posts:

http://henryik2009.wordpress.com/2011/02/08/nigeria-nollywoodthe-death-of-nigerian-television/

and

http://henryik2009.wordpress.com/2011/02/04/nigeria-nollywood-update/
ha ha ha ....

DIDI said...

No woman deserves to be sexually assaulted even if she decides to wear NADA..Kapish1

Think-About-It said...

I Disagree.
No one deserves to be assaulted.

We also must take responsibility for our actions.
Stealing is a crime but that still doesn't give me the confidence to leave my car with keys in the ignition anywhere I am. There will always be that un-balanced person that will come out of nowhere and violate my car.

Wise Sage said...

Wanted to write a long post but miss manners tells me that a post in a comment is a big no no. That being said i think Ginger has said it far better than i could. Between ginger and surprise, you got you answer right there. Insanity, i tell you. Insanity to think otherwise. Offense intended.

Mena UkodoisReady said...

I just want to thank every single person for their comment.It is a delight to see that we share the same perspective so far!

The reaction on facebook was mixed, and a section of those who agreed, said the woman is seeking attention and so deserves to be given attention.

As far as I am concerned, those are potential rapists as no decent human being will force such a potentially damaging act upon another!

No one 'deserves' to be assaulted! It is an inhumane, wicked, damaging act! I believe where possible victims should seek the maximum penalty!!

Huge thanks to every single one!

Efua Dentaa said...

I love your blog, the design and all. Makes me feel like doing more to make mine look more attractive but fact is, I doubt if I know how. Maybe you should give me some tips. The content is great as well.
Now, to the issue at hand. If some people give their reason or excuse for sexually assaulting a lady as she was dressed indecently, what then would be the excuse of the psychos who sexually abuse babies and children? I guess the babies were indecently exposed as well with their diapers and all showing.
Men will find an excuse for everything they do and we ladies do not help when we provide them with these excuses (because that is what we usually do).
In Ghana, when a thief (male) is caught, he is beaten by a mob sometimes even to death. Recently, a female thief was caught in one of the universities in Ghana and guess what the mob (consisting mainly of boys) did? They stripped her naked, sexually assaulted her and took a video of the whole thing (the video is on you-tube if you want to see it). Why wasn't this female thief beaten like they do to male thieves? Because the boys saw an opportunity and they used it (of course they wouldn't bother sexually assaulting a male thief because most of them are not gay and no female would think of doing that to a male thief either because we would rather beat the hell out of them).
To your question, NO! Nobody deserves to be sexually assaulted based on the way they are dressed. Anyone who says yes to this question is very capable of sexually abusing my 1 year old niece who walks around with her diapers showing all the time and that person should be ashamed of him/herself.
In as much as everyone has the right to dress in whatever way they feel comfortable, ladies let's keep in mind that men always look for excuses let's not provide them with any.

Morenike said...

No one DESERVES to be raped. I also believe that nudity must be viewed in the context of the culture. I live in the US where EVERYTHING is about sex, so I teach my children modesty. When we watch a movie set in another country/culture/context ie Besouro or Sankofa I let my children see those parts and explain that the nudity is in context. It seems that women being exposed happens more often and we, as a group, tend to expose ourselves more. Either way, not be should be violated in any way at any time regardless of how they are dress. We should, however, learn to use wisdom in how we present ourselves to the world.

Jenn said...

I am going to sound of with a DEFINITE NO!

I don't care what your gender, race, creed, etc., is...sexual assault or rape, is not acceptable because both implies a crime perpetrated without consent.

Summer Fey Foovay said...

"You deserve it. Look how you are dressed." This was the comment of the Vice Principal of my Jr. High School after I reported an attempted rape by four guys. I fought and outran them. I was wearing...
a jean jacket over a loose t-shirt, and long, bell bottomed jeans as well as a large floppy hat. I was not infrequently mistaken for a boy at the time. None of my clothing was tight or revealing.

It is just another excuse for someone who wants to assault you. That it is sexual is secondary - it adds insult to injury. Sexual assault is violence committed on the soul - whatever the sex of the victim or pepetrator. Blaming it on dress is an excuse.