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Saturday, 4 June 2011

WHAT EXACTLY IS GOING ON WITH DOMESTIC VIOLENCE??




Sorry I cannot read and keep silent for the fear of hurting people's sensibilities. I wrote about it last year yes, but this madness has to be blogged about till something happens. What is it with domestic violence??? What will make you strike and kill your spouse when you can so easily seperate from them???
What is it with domestic violence??? Some cultures actually have guidelines for wifebeating.
My question is what will make you strike and kill your spouse when you can so easily seperate from them???

Imagine this article based in Los Angeles California where it was reported that a Nigerian RN wife was brutally murdered by her husband. The viciousness of the attack was such that the man eventually tied the dead body of his wife to his truck and dragged her dead body through the roads and streets of Southern California until her skull gave up its cranial contents. He was eventually arrested, charged, tried and convicted for first degree murder with special circumstance which carries the death penalty! He is presently awaiting a date with the lethal injection in a cold segregated death-row prison cell!

Think I am overreacting, think again.

The lady in this picture is Tope Aduni Olabiwoninu Douherty, who was allegedly beaten up by her then boyfriend, Tunde Ologundudu.


Recently, the police in Delhi has arrested a Nigerian man Innocent Nwayo who allegedly strangulated his live-in girlfriend, stuffed her body in a bag and left it in a rented flat in West Delhi fleeing to Mumbai.

One of Nigeria’s most respected poet and professor of English and Literature, Dubem Okafor died in the United States after shooting his wife Cheryl 37.

A Florida based Nigerian pharmacist, Olufemi Ademoye was charged for second degree murder for allegedly killing his wife over what family friends alleged as dispute over the paternity of the couple's 17 year old son.

Mr. Kelechi Charles Emeruwa:- A Nigerian Mr. Kelechi Charles Emeruwa, 41 of Old Umuahia, Abia State was charged and convicted with first degree murder of his estranged wife, 36 year old Registered Nurse, Chidiebere Omenihu Ochulo. Kelechi finally lost it and stabbed his wife, with her own kitchen knife, several times that the fountain left on Julius Ceaser fades in comparison, until she gave up the ghost. "According to the account, Chidiebere had just returned from Nigeria where she bolted away for three weeks to give her late father a lavish burial despite protestations of Mr. Kelechi of the bills that are accruing and payable here in America. She wouldn’t hear any of it, after-all she makes the money; only to return to an angry frustrated maniacal husband who took her kitchen knife and carved her up. It was on New Year’s Day, in her townhouse in the 4200 block of Dunwood Terrace, in the Washington DC suburb of Burtonsville in Montgomery County, Maryland.



In Euless, a suburb of Dallas, another Nigerian husband, Johnny Omorogieva, 45, murdered his wife, Mrs. Isatu Omorogieva, 35, by savagely striking her on the head numerous times with a hammer in the full glare of his 7-year old daughter.


This terrible photo tells another family-related violent incident involving a Nigerian, Mr. Theophilus Ojukwu 46, of Enugwu-Agu, Ihe in Awgu LGA, Enugu State used a mattock (hammer) to bludgeon his deeply asleep RN wife, Melvina Ojukwu, 36, of Umuanebe, also of Ihe, Awgu LGA, Enugu State to a very painful agonizing death. Mr. Theophilus Ojukwu, 46, of Enugwu-Agu, Ihe in Ogwu LGA, Enugu State, who killed his wife in their 5400 block of Barcelona Drive home in Garland, Texas has since been sentenced to life in prison.

It was reported in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution that a Registered Nurse Roseline Unachukwu, 34, and her six children were taken to the family violence shelter, Northwest YWCA in Marietta, Georgia, a suburb of Atlanta, as a result of physical violence. According to people with knowledge of the incident, the poor lady escaped with her life from her husband’s maniacal rage with very severe cuts in her arms which she received while fending off her husband's killer-rage. Her husband, Benjamin Unachukwu from Nnewi, Anambra State, was taken to jail to face two criminal charges with the kitchen-knife weapon of choice as evidence exhibit!

Similarly, in Grand Prairie, a suburb of Dallas, Texas,Mrs. Monireti Abeni Akeredolu, a 46-year old Registered Nurse from Ondo State Nigeria met her untimely death in the hands of her estranged husband, Mr. Ebenezer Akeredolu, Sr., 48. According to the story, Mr. Akeredolu drove several hundred miles from Georgia (where he had moved to nurse his pains at loosing everything he had worked so hard for since coming to the United States several decades ago) to Dallas and pumped several bullets into his ex-wife in day light, with so many people watching the macabre spectacle. Mrs. Monireti died slumped in the wheels of her SUV enroute to a birthday party in her honor – she had just turned 46 a day before

Pictures below are those of Tess Wigwe, wife of The Nigerian ambassador to Kenya, Dr Chijioke Wilcox Wigwe who was allegedly assaulted by the latter in a domestic incident at their residence. The ambassador has been recalled.



Account written by Mr X, London

Location: London England, (South-East) to be precise! The Time? 2113 Hours, Place: Wole's Apartment.
Perfect Scenario: Wole, could not control his anger, lashes out...scream, scream scream! Wole's girlfriend: Screaming... obscenities! Swearing and shouting...
Wole: just wouldn't let it be, more bang bang bang...
Wole's Girl: bruises, cuts, swelling and reddening to face area and a broken nose...mmmh!

Wole's neighbour: a white middle age lonely citizen...This becomes unbearable for him; He dials 999...it took just 6 minutes, the police arrives...ambulance is also called...The police have a postive action: "reduce, remove and if possible neutralise the risk"....

Wole's apartment: scattered.
Wole's demeanour: anti police....anger, frustration!
Police: Arrest Wole for GBH. Grievous Bodily Harm.
Wole: tries to resist arrest. Police: taser, taser, Wole...Ahh!
Wole: conveyed to Thamesmead Police Station where the facts are relayed to the custody officer...
Custody officer: Authorises detention at 2320 hours...rights & entitlement given.
Police: fingerprints, DNA of Wole is taken and stored for speculative search...
Police: take a statement from wole's girl and neighbour...
Police: interview Wole 0900 hours the next day with a Solicitor present...
Police: reach a decision to charge Wole with GBH at 1100 hours...
Police: make a representation to custody officer on why bail is not suitable...
Wole: kept in another day to go to court first light...
First Light: Serco security attends to lift Wole to court in shackles...
Wole's clothing were seized for forensics. Wole given a white jump suit...
Wole: appears before Magistrate J J Fanny...she's known to have zero tolerance for domestics! rumour has it, she was abused....mmmh!
Court: find Wole guilty and sentence is pronounced...

Wole: now, has a Police Criminal Record.
Oh, I forgot...Wole is a Social Worker and will be needing a CRB for his next job!


Of course the above takes place in UK where fundamental human rights are respected to the letter. Can you think about a Nigerian version? Nigeria where people tend to leave the issue at hand and conveniently blame the victim.

Someone gets raped at a party becomes why was she wearing that at a party.

Girl gets gangraped by policemen, is interpreted as the girl was a prostitute and deserved it

Father rapes 14yr old daughter is interpreted as she is a witch and seduced me.

Hubby sleeps around and gets hiv and transfers it to his wife gets interpreted as she was not submissive.

Always like that in that barbaric country.

Well here is another account written by Miss X, Nigeria

Location: South East Nigeria as a location...

Wole: Beats up his woman mercilessly

Mrs. Wole: calls up the police station

Police: Madam that’s a domestic affair o, go and beg your husband

Mrs. Wole: calls her family as she always does.

Mrs. Wole’s mother: Patience and Prayers is all you need to survive in husband’s house

Mrs. Wole leaves the house early next morning to Olola (her friend’s) house with her eyes all swollen.

Olola: were you involved in an accident again? (Because that had always been her story)

Mrs. Wole: no o it’s my husband that beat me up always.

Olola: i had always known but I was waiting for you to say it.

Mrs. Wole: I have nowhere to hide, no one to turn to. *breaks down crying*

Olola: Do you want Wole to stop beating you?

Mrs. Wole: yes please help me. I want to still be alive to be my children's mother.

Olola took Mrs. Wole to Gbegulu’s (senior area-boy... also known as FADER) hideout and Mrs. Wole narrated her ordeal. At midnight 6 area boys landed in Wole’s house, they locked-up madam and the kids in the bathroom so it could look like robbery, then took turns in beating up Wole mercilessly stole all his expesive watches and int passport. The area-boys broke one of Wole's arm and he ends up in the hospital on admission for one month and his broken arm in a cast for 6months.

Now Mrs. Wole have learnt the act of fighting by proxy and she already have plans on ground on her next line of action should Wole dare beat her again.


The time has come for people(men and women) who are disturbed by this trend to have a massive awareness campaign to "STOP THE VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN!!!!
Sources Punchonline
Ghana Nation
Wole Street journal
Linda Ikeji
Sahara Reporters

19 comments:

Olori said...

as usual they say men who beat women have serious insecurities. many of the women here are registered nurses who hold their own and are probably the bread winners and their weak minded husbands cant deal with it.....dats very stupid. wats even more annoying is that i shuld by default go and beg my husband for beating me cos im d wife.....lie lie...i will slap dat family elder. and while we should be mindful of what we wear, rape is never about the clothes. we almost forget that there is a second person in a rape and dats d rapist....why couldnt him (or her..we have female rapists too) control themselves...dats d real issue not clothes

TheRustGeek said...

Not over reacting - every reasonable person would react.

I think Mrs Wole's Area boy method is a good one... Should solve keep Mr Man in his place asap...

Wise Sage said...

My concern with the last Mrs Wole's fighting by proxy form of defense is this: punishment is not punishment, if the person doesn't know why they are being punished. In that case the man will feel even more defensive because of his bruised ego as a result of his wife seeing him beaten down and weak.
Consequence-: beating continues to make his deflated egotistical self feel better. All in all, not good.
We are women and we know the power we wield when we choose to do so.Let us begin to take advantage of the power we possess, cos we do. It's all in our hands, if we only knew.

The Corner Shop said...

WOW!!!! Why are some men such...dickheads and illiterates. The worst thing is that the woman stays after the first decking. Heh!

Adiya
http://thecornershopng.blogspot.com

Ginger said...

Terrible. Terrible.
Is it me or are the guys mostly accused of this Igbo men. Could there be an ethnic/tribal problem driving it??

It is just this societal(Nigerian society esp) judgement on single and divorced females. cause if not, some ladies would have made life-saving choices instead of remaining in hellish relationships. Terrible. Terrible.

Ayo B said...

Men that hit women are spineless and should be shot!!!! What happened to simply walking away. What most men don't get is that silent treatment hurts more than fists. You would have just shown that you are no more than a beast.

Gbemisoke said...

My mouth was hanging open as I red "don't beat her like an animal...beat her to let her know enough is enough"
SERIOUSLY?!

Ginger said...

Just come back for a full read. The fighting by proxy thing? It works sometimes o. For this lady I know, it was her brothers that did the beating up. in fact the husband has a misshapen finger to forever remind him of the event. And he has never laid hands on her since then. I guessed it worked cos he knows she has protection.

Efua Dentaa said...

Saw something about an estranged husband killing the wife, guess they were separated. Sad thing is most women are scared to leave such relationships cos they believe that's not the solution to the problem.
Some men are that terrible that if you are with them, they beat you, if you leave, they'll kill you. I'd rather be beaten than killed and hope the beating doesn't end up with me getting killed anyways.

Ibhade said...

*sigh!.............dunno what to say about this wife battery....kill? w-h-yyy?

kitkat said...

OMG!! i think some of these pics made my tummy turn! people are evil y'all! people are veeery evil! and u are definitely not over reacting!!

Blaq Mind said...

Something has to change

Amy said...

Mhn...mind blowing and very scary too.Believe me,this barbaric act seems to be getting popular o.In fact I have a neighbour who is toasting me and so I went out on a date with him to get acquianted.hehehe,truth is since after dt date,he feels he owns me already and I just went on a date ooo.Since he is my neighbour,he kinda keeps tab on me and my guests.Calls me when he knows I have a male guest with a venom-laden voice.At a time,I got scared and thought dt if I started anything with dis guy,he would ask me to do away with all my friends,male and female and I am a people's person o.More scary was the feeling dt he could beat me someday...I quickly severed the ties o.I no fit shout.Always,I have dis feeling dt Naija men don't like 'nice' girls like me who are polite and prim n proper.They prefer rugged babes.I can't be rugged anyway but will be ruthless with any guy who treats me bad!Wetin sef?.

DIDI said...

GOOD LORD this is Horrifying!! the worse part is that they do it in the name of love,which kind of love be this??? GOD HELP us..guess It all goes back to home training.

Mgbechikanma Ejimonu said...

As usual everything is said about how the man did this and that. Nothing will be said about the woman just like in the case of sexual harassments and rapes men are always the victims….but that aside what’s the common denominator here?. They are all registered nurses and all lived abroad….here is a dysfunctional society that does not fit into typical Africa family settings where the man always serves as the head and probably earn more or even not at that have a wife that submits wholeheartedly to him….But the dysfunctional-ity of life here won’t permit that leaving the man to either maturely manage his ego or expose his insecurity and weakness by retorting to violence…..But As I told a friend here who’s facing similar scenario in his young marriage this morning nothing justifies violence against any sex…and the onion still lays on the woman to build her home. It’s hers to build…

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