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Friday, 1 June 2012

HELP 5 (CAN'T SEXUALLY RESPOND TO MY HUSBAND)

By my thinking any one of us can be silently going through terrible ordeals in our lives thinking we are alone, and believing there is no solution, no way out, well there is a way out! All you need to do is speak out or write anonymously, someone somewhere will respond to you. You are never alone, certainly not in blogsville. So I was browsing blogsville when I came across some stories. They claim to be true life stories and the writers actually need our advice. I couldnt resist but bring some of them to them to my blog so readers who have gone though a similar experience can play agony aunt and give them solutions. Or you can even give them some tough love as well. They will be published from time to time in a series titled 'HELP', this is the fourth part. You can find Help 1 Help 2 Help 3 just by a cick. Help 4 This is from a middle aged woman........................................................................................................................................................................................... “My husband and I have always had healthy sexual appetite since we got married about 30 years ago. We are now in our fifties. He is older than me by about 4 years. In fact at our early ages, we used to f*ck virtually every day. ........................................................................................................................................................................................... Any one of use could initiate sexual moves. We used various styles imaginable to spice our sex lives. We did it every where – kitchen o, sitting room o, bathroom o. No where was a taboo! We even used to f*ck in our car when on outings (it used to be all nite parties in Nigeria in the old days). But gradually as we grow older, our sex life tapered off to about 2ce a week. ........................................................................................................................................................................................... I still love my hubby very much. In fact I don’t think I can do without his company at anytime. And I know he loves me very much. My problem now is, while my husband’s sexual appetite is still relatively healthy(he still wants it once or twice a week), my own has reduced drastically. ........................................................................................................................................................................................... Actually I have little or no interest in sex again. Only my hubby now initiates sex and I only participate in a perfunctionary ways. If he doesn’t initiate sex in a month, it is like I am happy that he let me be! ........................................................................................................................................................................................... My husband now complains every time. In fact, any small gesture on his part that can lead to sex, I tend to discourage reflexively. Gestures like romancing me anywhere in the house (The kids are all gone) or kissing me, playing with my breasts etc, are the things I only allow when we are actually fucking so that he can enjoy the sex a little bit. I hardly participate. ........................................................................................................................................................................................... I know if we are in Nigeria (We now live in a Manchester suburbs), he would have gone out to play the field. What can I do? How do I rekindle my interest? He has tried several things. Blue film ni o, bought me some lingerie to wear, or tries several sex moves that can rekindle the spark. Nothing seems to work. ........................................................................................................................................................................................... Please help! What can I do?”

10 comments:

Wale said...

Though love making and sex are synonymous, the two words can be used differently for different discussions. For example, for clinical, diagnostic, and medical purposes sex is better professional word to be used. However, when the rubber meets the road, the word love making is a more civilized, romantic, heart throbbing word. Now to the Vaginal Monologue (remember the movie?), Men and women see love making differently and as such they respond (or not respond) to it in a different way. Two primary problems affects men and women: women suffer from frigidity and men from impotence. The extent of the two problems varies. Added to this medical problem is cultural inhibitions.The cultural and religious barriers are being loosened by the influence of western culture. The adulteration of indigenous and native cultures by western open ended sex freedom have freed most women from sexual fears, restrictions, and timidity they were hitherto subjected. Viagra and Cialis have revolutionized sex and greatly improved men's performance. So, the problem of impotence is not as serious as before. In fact, research has shown that senior citizens in the US are having more sex than before and contracting HIV at alarming rate. Thanks to Viagra! But the frigidity and 'close shop' mentality of some women is still attributable to cultural taboos and superstitions. With therapy and counseling, this also can be overcome. Now to other factors that affect sex. Sex is both emotional and spiritual. Sex, unknown to many, is an exchange of spiritual fluid. For women a lot of emotion is involved. Women's body unlike the mens, is a very complex structure. It takes a long time emotionally for women to warm up the fire. Whereas men are ready to go any moment. For example, a man is ready to have sex with his wife after the former might have verbally or physically abused the latter. It will take the persuasion of Gani Fawehinmi for the woman to participate soon after the abuse had taken place. Again, women are always thinking. Most of the time I don't know what they think about. They worry about something that will not happen in the next 20 years or that might never happen at all! Thus, if there is anything bordering women, please don't initiate sex with them at that moment. For women, sex and emotion is tied together. Some men are very primitive and barbaric in love making. They're in haste, inconsiderate, rough, selfish, and don't care for the other partner. So, they have no patience or room for foreplay. Once the act is done, they fall asleep snoring like an elephant. Forgetting that after love making, the woman needs to be cuddled and kissed... men kiss all the kissables, and most importantly tell your woman " I love you" as many times as you can.Sex is the sweetest honey that was ever made!

Myne Whitman said...

You're probably going through menopause. I suggest you see a GP and have some recommendations on hormones or vitamin supplements to help you through this stage.

Priscy said...

I agree perfectly with Myne, shes probably going through menopause.

DiDi said...

i dont know what to say but i just want you to know i read it and erm..come on mehn y`alls been having sex for 30 years..they should go on retirement *silly me* okay they should seek professional help *sensible me*Adios

Madame Sting said...

I agree. Most likely menopause.

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