This is not too long but you will learn from it whether you are a parent or just as a person…
This is my first time of writing you and I've never made any comment about this horror. If you think you are working in vain, please stop thinking like that. You are ministering to souls that may never be bold enough to come out to give testimonies or share their stories. I'm one of those souls and this is my opportunity to say thank you. I'm blessed by this and I don't have to mention names but you have all changed my life and saved a soul.
I don't personally see the word sex when I read your posts but I pay attention to read the undertone messages. You are a very smart and interesting writer.
I’m a victim of sexual abuse since I was twelve, first it was my pastor. My parents trusted him so much they almost gave me away to him as a child. Everything was about the pastor and I was practically dependent on his mentor-ship. He raped me one day after I turned twelve. It started from little gestures and buying gifts and sometimes, he would ask my parents for me to pass the night or go out of town with him. It was one of those out of town weekends that he gave me alcohol and raped me. He assured me something would happen to my family if I ever say anything to anybody. I went back home a damaged teenager. I withdrew but my parents were too busy to notice that my pastor just took my innocence and youth away from me. Life became empty and I tried to kill myself one day with the rat poison and then he came right on time to check on me!
School suffered and I lost interest in life, I despised anything that had to do with the church. My uncle came to take me from Lagos to live with him in Ibadan and I thought things would be a little better. I was fifteen and my uncle’s wife one day came to my room in the middle of the night to force me to have sex with her. Her husband traveled a lot and seldom stayed at home, the only child was just two years old. I refused but the second time she tried; she must have put a sleeping pill in my food. I woke up in the middle of the night and she was on top of me. I ran out and I was locked outside to sleep with the dog. She lied to my uncle when he came back that I stole her money. The following day after a good beating from my uncle, I actually stole her money to transport back to Lagos. This time I refused to go home but to a friend’s. I became the black sheep of the family but something kept pushing me to stay in school. I did every dirty job to send myself to college with the help of my friend’s mother, he was the only child and the mom made me promise her to finish school no matter what.
Yes, I did but with my Master’s degree and a good job that my mates envied; life was empty and sex to me was a dirty and filthy act. I also stopped going to church since the incident with the pastor. I was on line the day you started the group and I’m one of the first you added too. I've been reading some of your notes on your wall and it’s been almost two years of cleansing, renewing and finding hope in messages from people that don’t know I exist. May 25th was a Friday and God gave me a special gift that day, I met this lady that became my best friend and I’m planning on proposing to her. I’m not obsessed but I just want it to be significant. I went to my mother to tell her what happened and to my surprise she believed me, I lost my father about five years ago. Forgiving her and the pastor was easy because I was already going through a life changing experience.
Now, I see life differently, I’m healed and I know there is hope for me and others like me. Please next time you get frustrated, think about people like me that might never come out to say thank you but are praying for you secretly.
DrOlubusola Olufemi ©2013
For victims of child sexual abuse and paedophiles, there is hope, SPEAK UP, SPEAK LOUDLY, SPEAK OUT, you just might be saving your life...and that of others...click for part 2 here