LIFE'S CHOICE (1)

For your reading pleasure, a very interesting story..LOVE UNDER WATER (EPISODE 1)Copyright* – Femi Job


Funmi: I really love Wale. But he hasn’t proposed (marriage). We have been going out for over 5 years now. Whenever I raise the topic about marriage, he smiles, tells me he’ll marry me and ends the conversation. I am not getting any younger. I will be 36 in June. My biological clock is already having epilepsy – I can hear the alarm bells blowing. I am like an expired drug product on a dusty shelf in a tiny unkempt medicine shop. What am I supposed to do?! How do I let him know that he has to marry me? Aaah, Tayo, Lola, won’t I marry (starts crying)!

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Tayo: Funmi, stop crying! See, you have to understand some basic things. Marriage is not everything Funmi – I don’t know why you see it that way. You love Wale, Wale loves you – what more do you want to add to that? You guys have great chemistry. Your love for each other is primary, marriage is secondary, everything else is tertiary! Hang on in there. Marriage should not be rushed. GOD’s time is the best you know. So, just relax and wait for such a time that he asks you to marry him, whenever that time is – could be tomorrow, could be in the next 10 years. Do not put pressure on him. Some men do not like pressure. Plus, you know that you guys don’t have to be married to be a couple, right?

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Lola: Don’t downplay the importance of marriage o. Marriage is primary. You are not really a woman until you marry. If you don’t marry you are a ‘girl’ – a small girl. Marriage is ordained by GOD and important therefore. It is only girls that have nobody to marry them that say that marriage is not important. Anyway, Funmi, my advice for you is to get pregnant for him – he will have to marry you then! It was because I got pregnant for Yomi that he proposed to me and married me o – and we are happily married!

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Tayo: NOOOO, don’t get pregnant for a man you are not married to o – he’ll simply tell you to abort the thing – like Akin told me to! I am talking from personal experience (pauses)….Because hanging pregnancy on a man to make him propose marriage worked for Lola does not mean it’ll work for Funmi – it didn’t work for me….well, enough of that! Oh, back to what you just said Lola – marriage is NOT everything. In the bible, we are told that not all men (and women) need marry. The Apostle Paul wasn’t married and he said it was OK. So, that argument about marriage being important is just an argument people use to compel people to wear wedding gowns and suits – it’s all ceremony…if you don’t marry, you are a ‘lady’, if you marry you are a ‘mama’….I mean, see our friend Dupe, (she laughs and points at Dupe) before she married she was a ‘lèpa t’o bad gaaaan’…after marriage, she’s an ‘òròbò t’o nas-ty’! How good can marriage be when it turns a beautiful girl into this?….no offence meant, Dupe, but you know the point I am trying to make. So, Funmi, do not listen to Lola o….do not let anyone pressure you into marriage o. Try and enjoy the single life before you walk down that aisle…..when you walk down that aisle you are finished!!!! Plus, like I said, you don’t have to be married to be a couple.

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Dupe: Haba, Tayooo, you don’t need to insult me now. I am happily married. I know I put on some weight but I will still lose all that – I will become that l’epa to baaad again, you watch me! But Funmi….regarding your case, my answer is simple – If the guy won’t propose marriage, then you have to dump him and move on. There are many men out there. Find someone who will propose marriage and marry that person. You can start by making him know that there are other guys after you. For all we know, Wale may not even marry you. My advice – give him an ultimatum, and if he doesn’t propose, then dump him. I gave my husband ultimatum before he proposed, and we are now married. I believe that if I didn’t do so, I may be like Tayo here – she doesn’t believe in marriage because she doesn’t have anybody who wants to marry her ni.

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Tayo: ...but there are no other guys after Funmi. Funmi, have you considered moving in with him? I know it sounds shocking – but is it really that SHOCKING? We are in the 21st century. Things are changing. I can understand your misgivings about moving into a house with a man. But see it this way – you are moving into the house of a man that you love…a man that you will marry. See, some men will not get married unless they have to __ unless you force their hand. You visit him at his house almost every other day, and he visits you almost every other day too. You do everything together. You sleep in Wale’s bed in Wale’s house, and you guys f***, pardon my french. So, what is the difference? You can pretend that you guys are not having sex and pretend that you are a virgin and that he will come and pick you up from your father’s house. BUT that is high level hypocrisy, and you know it. You and Wale are already living like husband and wife in secret, and pretending to the whole world that you are just dating. You are as good as married my friend – so, move in with him. In this way, he will be reminded about why he MUST propose. All I am saying is that instead of making this a secret thing – which makes it look wrong – make it right. You know they say ‘anything that you do in secret must be brought out into the open’….Hey, do not live your life because of what people will say. That is not the way to live. You need to do what you feel is important, not what everybody else thinks is important.

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Lola: (turns towards Tayo) Heeeey! Haaaa, Tayo, TAYO!!! Which kind of advice are you giving Funmi? That she should not consider marriage as a very important event in her life? Do you know how people look at unmarried women that are 36? They look at them as if they are unfortunate. I am married and I can tell you that marriage is a very beautiful thing. How can she move in with a man she’s not married to? Funmi, do not listen to Tayo o - she will mislead you.

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Funmi: (turning towards Lola) THANK YOU JARE! (turns towards Tayo) Moving in? GOD forbid! How can I move in with a man that am not married too. That is high level fornication. ….how can you even suggest such a thing to me! Which kind of advice are you giving me? Move in with a man? Everybody will know that we are ‘banging’! Make you no turn your friend to ‘ashawo’ o. I am a born-again sister….

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Tayo: (cuts in) …you are a born-again sister that is 35 years old and unmarried – you should know that you are not doing something right. With all the ‘brothers’ out there, you are still consoling yourself that you are OK! And you are doing ‘holy-holy’, as if you are a virgin. You are already fornicating, so cut out the bulls***. There is no virgin in this room (refers to all the ladies), and even Lola and Dupe were not virgins before they married, abi I lie? In fact (laughing), Lola and Dupe are lucky that their husbands did not know which kind of lifestyle they lived before they married them, abi I lie? Haaa (digresses) If only Dupe’s husband knew that she was ‘ashawo’ before he married her (laughing)

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Dupe: (raising her voice) It seems as if you are just trying to insult me today. What is your problem?! Something is wrong with you! Or you are jealous because I married before you? You are jealous because I married a very good brother unlike your own Akin, abi? The past is the past……we are not talking about me (or Lola), we are talking about Funmilade. (pauses)…you know you are likely never going to get married. You are a prostitute pretending to be a lady. Where I am from, prostitutes do not give advice. You sleep with every man you date and you move in with every man that fancies you. You even do one-night stands. I don’t know what we are supposed to call you. You are worse than a dog…you are just unfortunate. You need to change yourself, and then maybe some guy will even THINK about marrying you. So, SHUT your mouth, and let the sane people give Funmilade advice. You should not even be talking.

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The whole room fell silent. There were some words exchanged (words not appropriate to write). Tayo stormed out, shaking with rage and anger. Lola followed her. Dupe hissed and turns to Funmi.

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Dupe: As I was saying before that idiot opened her stinking mouth -- You need to have a serious discussion with Wale. Let him know how you feel. Let him know that you are not getting any younger. And then give him an ultimatum...if he doesn't propose, then it is not meant to be. If a man loves you, he won't keep you waiting forever. 5 years is a very long time to wait for a proposal'

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(fade)



Tayo was at home. She was still angry…and bitter. How dare Dupe address her like that. Then she picked up her phone and dialed Funmi.

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Funmi: Hello…..Tayo

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Tayo: Hey, as I was saying before – I think you should move in with Wale – that is the only REAL advice that I can give you. I know that you love him and he loves you. Lola is talking nonsense about you getting pregnant for Wale…it’s not time for that yet. Dupe is talking nonsense about you dumping Wale – she doesn’t want you to be happy and she’s trying to make you sabotage your relationship. Lola’s and Dupe’s views are both extremist views, mine is more realistic and straightforward.

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Funmi: Thank you so much Tayo, I will think deeply about what you said. OK.

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They exchanged pleasantries and the call ended. Tayo looked at her wristwatch – the time was 4’48pm – she dialed a number.

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Tayo: Hey sugar, I am feeling very horny. Can you come over right now!

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The response was what she wanted. She spent the next 20 minutes tidying up her apartment. At 5’15 pm there was a knock on the door. She jumped on the man and they started kissing hungrily. They undressed even before they got into the bedroom and they made love. (I can’t give you the details -- too x-rated -- just that it was very wild). As they lay in bed, spent after an intense session, Tayo decided to speak her mind - to punctuate the pleasured breathing that escaped from their bodies.

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Tayo: Wale, Funmi is upset that you haven’t proposed to her. I adviced her to step it up to the next level and move in with you. You know that can’t happen because you have to make out time for me always. You can give her an engagement ring to console her -- I can get you a ring to give her.

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Please click here for Life's Choice 2