Mena's Muzik
Sunday, 10 February 2013
I know most of you who personally know me are in disbelief to hear from media reports that I am suspected of committing such horrendous murders and have taken drastic and shocking actions I know I will be villified by the LAPD and the media. Unfortunately, this is a necessary evil that I do not enjoy but must partake and complete for substantial change to occur within the LAPD
Fired LAPD Officer Christopher Dorner Shoots 3 Fellow Cops Killing One-Release’s Manifesto Exposing Corruption. What can drive an otherwise intelligent person to these actions?? There has been a lot of media coverage over this incidence but this is the first time I am seeing the uncensored version of the manifesto. I got it from hip hop wordpress, please read and draw your own conclusions.
Uncensored Manifesto from Retired LAPD Officer Christopher Dorner
I know most of you who personally know me are in disbelief to hear from media reports that I am suspected of committing such horrendous murders and have taken drastic and shocking actions in the last couple of days. You are saying to yourself that this is completely out of character of the man you knew who always wore a smile wherever he was seen. I know I will be villified by the LAPD and the media.
Unfortunately, this is a necessary evil that I do not enjoy but must partake and complete for substantial change to occur within the LAPD and reclaim my name. The department has not changed since the Rampart and Rodney King days. It has gotten worse. The consent decree should never have been lifted. The only thing that has evolved from the consent decree is those officers involved in the Rampart scandal and Rodney King incidents have since promoted to supervisor, commanders, and command staff, and executive positions.
The question is, what would you do to clear your name?
Name;
A word or set of words by which a person, animal, place, or thing is known, addressed, or referred to.
Name Synonyms;
reputation, title, appellation, denomination, repute.
A name is more than just a noun, verb, or adjective. It’s your life, your legacy, your journey, sacrifices, and everything you’ve worked hard for every day of your life as and adolescent, young adult and adult. Don’t let anybody tarnish it when you know you’ve live up to your own set of ethics and personal ethos.
In 8/07 I reported an officer (Ofcr. Teresa Evans/now a Sergeant), for kicking a suspect (excessive force) during a Use of Force while I was assigned as a patrol officer at LAPD’s Harbor Division. While cuffing the suspect, (Christopher Gettler), Evans kicked the suspect twice in the chest and once in the face. The kick to the face left a visible injury on the left cheek below the eye. Unfortunately after reporting it to supervisors and investigated by PSB (internal affairs investigator Det. Villanueva/Gallegos), nothing was done. I had broken their supposed “Blue Line”.
Unfortunately, It’s not JUST US, it’s JUSTICE!!! In fact, 10 months later on 6/25/08, after already successfully completing probation, acquiring a basic Post Certificate, and Intermediate Post Certificate, I was relieved of duty by the LAPD while assigned to patrol at Southwest division. It is clear as day that the department retaliated toward me for reporting Evans for kicking Mr. Christopher Gettler. The department stated that I had lied and made up the report that Evans had kicked the suspect.
I later went to a Board of Rights (department hearing for decision of continued employment) from 10/08 to 1/09. During this BOR hearing a video was played for the BOR panel where Christopher Gettler stated that he was indeed kicked by Officer Evans (video sent to multiple news agencies). In addition to Christopher Gettler stating he was kicked, his father Richard Gettler, also stated that his son had stated he was kicked by an officer when he was arrested after being released from custody. This was all presented for the department at the BOR hearing. They still found me guilty and terminated me.
What they didn’t mention was that the BOR panel made up of Capt. Phil Tingirides, Capt. Justin Eisenberg, and City Attorney Martella had a signigicant problem from the time the board was assembled. Capt. Phil Tingirides was a personal friend of Teresa Evans from when he was her supervisor at Harbor station. That is a clear conflict of interest and I made my argument for his removal early and was denied. The advocate for the LAPD BOR was Sgt. Anderson. Anderson also had a conflict of interest as she was Evans friend and former partner from Harbor division where they both worked patrol together. I made my argument for her removal when I discovered her relation to Evans and it was denied.
During the BOR, the department attempted to label me unsuccessfully as a bully. They stated that I had bullied a recruit, Abraham Schefres, in the academy when in reality and unfounded disposition from the official 1.28 formal complaint investigation found that I was the one who stood up for Abraham Schefres when other recruits sang nazi hitler youth songs about burning Jewish ghettos in WWII Germany where his father was a survivor of a concentration camp. How fucking dare you attempt to label me with such a nasty vile word. I ask that all earnest journalist investigating this story ask Ofcr. Abraham Schefres about the incident when Ofcr. Burdios began singing a nazi youth song about burning jewish ghettos.
The internal affairs investigation in the academy involving Schefres was spurned by a complaint that I had initiated toward two fellow recruit/offifcers. While on a assigned patrol footbeat in Hollywood Division, Officers Hermilio Buridios IV and Marlon Magana (both current LAPD officers) decided that they would voice their personal feelings about the black community. While traveling back to the station in a 12 passenger van I heard Magana refer to another individual as a nigger. I wasn’t sure if I heard correctly as there were many conversations in the van that was compiled of at least 8 officers and he was sitting in the very rear and me in the very front.
Even with the multiple conversations and ambient noise I heard Officer Magana call an indivdual a nigger again. Now that I had confirmed it, I told Magana not to use that word again. I explained that it was a well known offensive word that should not be used by anyone. He replied, “I’ll say it when I want”. Officer Burdios, a friend of his, also stated that he would say nigger when he wanted. At that point I jumped over my front passenger seat and two other officers where I placed my hands around Burdios’ neck and squeezed. I stated to Burdios, “Don’t fucking say that”. At that point there was pushing and shoving and we were separated by several other officers. What I should have done, was put a Winchester Ranger SXT 9mm 147 grain bullet in his skull and Officer Magana’s skull.
The Situation would have been resolved effective, immediately. The sad thing about this incident was that when Detective Ty from internal affairs investigated this incident only (1) officer (unknown) in the van other than myself had statements constistent with what actually happened. The other six officers (John Carey, Gary Parker, Jacob Waks, Abraham Schefres and names I have forgotten) all stated they heard nothing and saw nothing. Shame on every one of you. Shame on Detective Ty (same ethnicity as Burdios) for creating a separate 1.28 formal complaint against me (Schefres complaint) in retaliation for initiating the complaint against Burdios and Magana. Don’t retaliate against honest officers for breaking your so called blue line.
I hope your son Ryan Ty, who I knew, is a better officer than you, Detective Ty.The saddest part of this ordeal was that Officer Burdios and Magana were only given 22 day suspensions and are still LAPD officers to this day. That day, the LAPD stated that it is acceptable for fellow officers to call black officers niggers to their face and you will receive a slap on the wrist. Even sadder is that during that 22 day suspension Buridios and Magana received is that the LAPPL (Los Angeles Police Protective League) paid the officers their salaries while they were suspended. When I took a two day suspension for an accidental discharge, I took my suspension and never applied for a league salary. Its called integrity.
Journalist, I want you to investigate every location I resided in growing up. Find any incidents where I was ever accused of being a bully. You won’t, because it doesn’t exist. It’s not in my DNA. Never was. I was the only black kid in each of my elementary school classes from first grade to seventh grade in junior high and any instances where I was disciplined for fighting was in response to fellow students provoking common childhood schoolyard fights, or calling me a nigger or other derogatory racial names. I grew up in neighborhoods where blacks make up less than 1%. My first recollection of racism was in the first grade at Norwalk Christian elementary school in Norwalk, CA. A fellow student, Jim Armstrong if I can recall, called me a nigger on the playground. My response was swift and non-lethal. I struck him fast and hard with a punch an kick. He cried and reported it to a teacher. The teacher reported it to the principal. The principal swatted Jim for using a derogatory word toward me. He then for some unknown reason swatted me for striking Jim in response to him calling me a nigger. He stated as good Christians we are to turn the other cheek as Jesus did. Problem is, I’m not a fucking Christian and that old book, made of fiction and limited non-fiction, called the bible, never once stated Jesus was called a nigger. How dare you swat me for standing up for my rights for demanding that I be treated as a equal human being. That day I made a life decision that i will not tolerate racial derogatory terms spoken to me. Unfortunately I was swatted multiple times for the same exact reason up until junior high. Terminating me for telling the truth of a caucasian officer kicking a mentally ill man is disgusting. Don’t ever call me a fucking bully. I want all journalist to utilize every source you have that specializes in collections for your reports. With the discovery and evidence available you will see the truth. Unfortunately, I will not be alive to see my name cleared. That’s what this is about, my name. A man is nothing without his name. Below is a list of locations where I resided from childhood to adulthood.
Cerritos, CA.
Pico Rivera, CA.
La Palma, CA.
Thousand Oaks, CA.
Cedar City, UT.
Pensacola, FL.
Enid, OK.
Yorba Linda, CA.
Las Vegas, NV.
During the BOR an officer named, Sgt. Hernandez, from Los Angeles Port Police testified on behalf of the LAPD. Hernandez stated for the BOR that he arrived at the location of the UOF shortly before I cuffed the suspect. He also stated that he assisted in cuffing the suspect and that’s old the BOR he told me to fix my tie. All of those statements were LIES!!! Hernandez, you arrived at the UOF location up to 30 seconds after I had cuffed Mr. Gettler. All you did was help me lift the suspect to his feet as it was difficult for me to do by myself because of his heavy weight. You did not tell me to fix my tie as the BOR members and everyone else in the room know you lied because the photographic evidence from the UOF scene where Gettler’s injuries were photographed clearly shows me wearing a class B uniform on that day. A class B uniform is a short sleeved uniform blouse. A short sleeved uniform blouse for the LAPD does not have a tie included. This is not Super Troopers uniform, you jackass. Why did you feel the need to embellish and lie about your involvement in the UOF? Are you ashamed that you could not get hired on by any other department other than port police? Do you have delusions of grandeur? What you did was perjury, exactly what Evans did when she stated she did not kick Christopher Gettler.
What they failed to mention in the BOR was Teresa Evans own use of force history during her career on the LAPD. She has admitted that she has a lengthy use of force record and has been flagged several times by risk management. She has a very well known nickname, Chupacabra, which she was very proud to flaunt around the division. She found it very funny and entertaining to draw blood from suspects and arrestees. At one point she even intentionally ripped the flesh off the arm of a woman we had arrested for battery (sprayed her neighbor with a garden water hose). Knowing the woman had thin elastic skin, she performed and Indian burn to the woman’s arm after cuffing her. That woman was in her mid-70′s, a mother and grandmother, and was angry at her tenants who failed to pay rent on time. Something I can completely understand and I am sure many have wanted to do toward tenants who do not pay their rent. Teresa Evans was also demoted from a senior lead officer rank/position for performance issues. During my two months of working patrol with Teresa Evans, I found her as a woman who was very angry that she had been pulled from patrol for a short time because of a domestic violence report made by Long Beach Police Department because of an incident involving her active LAPD officer boyfriend, Dominick Fuentes, and herself. Dominick Fuentes is the same officer investigated for witness tampering. She also was visibly angry on a daily basis that she was going to have to file for bankruptcy because her ex-husband, a former LAPD officer and not Dominick Fuentes, who had left the department, state, and was nowhere to be found had left her with a tax bill and debt that she was unable to pay because of a lack of financial means. Evans, you are a POS and you lied right to the BOR panel when Randy Quan asked you if you kicked Christopher Gettler. You destroyed my life and name because of your actions. Time is up. The time is now to confess to Chief Beck.
I ask that all journalist investigating this story submit request for FOIA with the LAPD to gain access to the BOR transcripts which occurred from 10/08 to 2/09. There, you will see that a video was played for the BOR members of Mr. Christopher Gettler who suffers from Schizophrenia and Dementia stating that he was kicked by a female officer. That video evidence supports my claim that Evans kicked him twice in the upper body and once in the face. I would like all journalist to also request copies of all reports that I had written while employed by LAPD. Whether in the academy, or during my 3 years as a police officer. There are DR#’s attached to each report (investigative report) that I have ever written so they all exist. A FOIA request will most likely be needed to access these at Parker center or at the Personnel/Records. Judge my writin/grammar skills for yourself. The department attempted to paint me as an officer who could not write reports. Even though Sgt. Joel Sydanmaa a training officer who trained me stated for the BOR panel that there was nothing wrong with my report writing and that I was better than all rookie/probationer officers he has ever trained. Officer David Drew stated the same but refused to testify as he did not want to “get involved” with the BOR’s. Contact Sgt. Donald Deming ,(now a Captain at Lompoc PD), Sgt. Thaddeus Faulk, and Sgt. Ed Clark. All will state that my report writing was impeccable. I will tell you this, I always type my reports because I have messy handwriting/penmanship. I never had a single kickback/redlined report at Southwest division and Sgt. Faulk and Sgt. Clark can testify to that. I never received an UNSATISFACTORY on any day or week. The same can be said within the U.S. Naval Reserves. All commanders will state that my report writing was always clear, concise, and impeccable. Even search my AAR (after action reports),chits, Memorandum’s, IIR’s (Intelligence Information Reports) which were written in the Navy. All were pristine.
I had worked patrol at LAPD’s Harbor Division from 2/06 until 7/06 when I was involuntarily recalled back to active duty (US Navy) for a 12 month mobilization/deployment to Centcom in support of OIF/OEF. I returned back to LAPD’s Harbor division on 7/07 and immediately returned to patrol. I worked at Harbor division until 11/07 where I then transferred to Southwest Division. I worked At Southwest division until 6/25/08 when I was relieved of duty.
I have exhausted all available means at obtaining my name back. I have attempted all legal court efforts within appeals at the Superior Courts and California Appellate courts. This is my last resort. The LAPD has suppressed the truth and it has now lead to deadly consequences. The LAPD’s actions have cost me my law enforcement career that began on 2/7/05 and ended on 1/2/09. They cost me my Naval career which started on 4/02 and ends on 2/13. I had a TS/SCI clearance(Top Secret Sensitive Compartmentalized Information clearance) up until shortly after my termination with LAPD. This is the highest clearance a service member can attain other than a Yankee White TS/SCI which is only granted for those working with and around the President/Vice President of the United States. I lost my position as a Commanding Officer of a Naval Security Forces reserve unit at NAS Fallon because of the LAPD. I’ve lost a relationship with my mother and sister because of the LAPD. I’ve lost a relationship with close friends because of the LAPD. In essence, I’ve lost everything because the LAPD took my name and new I was INNOCENT!!! Capt Phil Tingirides, Justin Eisenberg, Martella, Randy Quan, and Sgt. Anderson all new I was innocent but decided to terminate me so they could continue Ofcr. Teresa Evans career. I know about the meeting between all of you where Evans attorney, Rico, confessed that she kicked Christopher Gettler (excessive force). Your day has come.
I’m not an aspiring rapper, I’m not a gang member, I’m not a dope dealer, I don’t have multiple babies momma’s. I am an American by choice, I am a son, I am a brother, I am a military service member, I am a man who has lost complete faith in the system, when the system betrayed, slandered, and libeled me. I lived a good life and though not a religious man I always stuck to my own personal code of ethics, ethos and always stuck to my shoreline and true North. I didn’t need the US Navy to instill Honor, Courage, and Commitment in me but I thank them for re-enforcing it. It’s in my DNA.
Luckily I don’t have to live everyday like most of you. Concerned if the misconduct you were apart of is going to be discovered. Looking over your shoulder, scurrying at every phone call from internal affairs or from the Captains office wondering if that is the day PSB comes after you for the suspects you struck when they were cuffed months/years ago or that $500 you pocketed from the narcotics dealer, or when the other guys on your watch beat a transient nearly to death and you never reported the UOF to the supervisor. No, I don’t have that concern, I stood up for what was right but unfortunately have dealt with the reprocussions of doing the right thing and now losing my name and everything I ever stood for. You fuckers knew Evans was guilty of kicking (excessive force) Gettler and you did nothing but get rid of what you saw as the problem, the whistleblower. Gettler himself stated on video tape ( provided for the BOR and in transcripts) he was kicked and even his father stated that his son said he was kicked by Evans when he was released from custody. The video was played for the entire BOR to hear. Tingirides, Eisenberg, and Martella all heard it. You’re going to see what a whistleblower can do when you take everything from him especially his NAME!!!
Look what you did to Sgt. Gavin (now lieutenant) when he exposed the truth of your lying, racism, and PSB cover-ups to frame and convict an innocent man. You can not police yourselves and the consent decree was unsuccessful. Sgt. Gavin, I met you on the range several times as a recruit and as an officer. You’re a good man and I saw it in your eyes an actions.
Self Preservation is no longer important to me. I do not fear death as I died long ago on 1/2/09. I was told by my mother that sometimes bad things happen to good people. I refuse to accept that.
From 2/05 to 1/09 I saw some of the most vile things humans can inflict on others as a police officer in Los Angeles. Unfortunately, it wasn’t in the streets of LA. It was in the confounds of LAPD police stations and shops (cruisers). The enemy combatants in LA are not the citizens and suspects, it’s the police officers.
People who live in glass houses should not throw stones. How ironic that you utilize a fixed glass structure as your command HQ. You use as a luminous building to symbolize that you are transparent, have nothing to hide, or suppress when in essence, concealing, omitting, and obscuring is your forte.
Chief Beck, this is when you need to have that come to Jesus talk with Sgt. Teresa Evans and everyone else who was involved in the conspiracy to have me terminated for doing the right thing. you also need to speak with her attorney, Rico, and his conversation with the BOR members and her confession of guilt in kicking Mr. Gettler. I’ll be waiting for a PUBLIC response at a press conference. When the truth comes out, the killing stops.
Why didn’t you charge me with filing a false police report when I came forward stating that Evans kicked Mr. Christopher Gettler? You file criminal charges against every other officer who is accused and terminated for filing a false police report. You didn’t because you knew I was innocent and a criminal court would find me innocent and expose your department for suppressing the truth and retaliation, that’s why.
The attacks will stop when the department states the truth about my innocence, PUBLICLY!!! I will not accept any type of currency/goods in exchange for the attacks to stop, nor do i want it. I want my name back, period. There is no negotiation. I am not the state department who states they do not negotiate with terrorist, because anybody with a Secret or TS/SCI has seen IIR’s on SIPR and knows that the US state department always negotiates by using CF countries or independent sovereign/neutral country to mediate and compromising.
This department has not changed from the Daryl Gates and Mark Fuhrman days. Those officers are still employed and have all promoted to Command staff and supervisory positions. I will correct this error. Are you aware that an officer (a rookie/probationer at the time) seen on the Rodney King videotape striking Mr. King multiple times with a baton on 3/3/91 is still employed by the LAPD and is now a Captain on the police department? Captain Rolando Solano is now the commanding officer of a LAPD police station (West LA division). As a commanding officer, he is now responsible for over 200 officers. Do you trust him to enforce department policy and investigate use of force investigations on arrestees by his officers? Are you aware Evans has since promoted to Sergeant after kicking Mr. Gettler in the face. Oh, you Violated a citizens civil rights? We will promote you. Same as LAPD did with the the officers from Metro involved in the May Day melee at MacArthur Park. They promoted them to Sergeant (a supervisor role).
No one is saying you can’t be prejudiced or a bigot. We are all human and hold prejudices. If you state that you don’t have prejudices, your lying! But, when you act on it and victimize innocent citizens and fellow innocen officers, than that is a concern.
For you officers who do the job in the name of JUSTICE, those of you who lost honest officers to this event, look at the name of those on the BOR and the investigating officers from PSB and Evans and ask them, how come you couldn’t tell the truth? Why did you terminate an honest officer and cover for a dishonest officer who victimized a mentally ill citizen.
Sometimes humans feel a need to prove they are the dominant race of a species and they inadvertently take kindness for weakness from another individual. You chose wrong.
Terminating officers because they expose a culture of lying, racism (from the academy), and excessive use of force will immediately change. PSB can not police their own and that has been proven. The blue line will forever be severed and a cultural change will be implanted. You have awoken a sleeping giant.
I am here to change and make policy. The culture of LAPD versus the community and honest/good officers needs to and will change. I am here to correct and calibrate your morale compasses to true north.
Those Caucasian officers who join South Bureau divisions (77th,SW,SE, an Harbor) with the sole intent to victimize minorities who are uneducated, and unaware of criminal law, civil law, and civil rights. You prefer the South bureau because a use of force/deadly force is likely and the individual you use UOF on will likely not report it. You are a high value target.
Those Black officers in supervisory ranks and pay grades who stay in south bureau (even though you live in the valley or OC) for the sole intent of getting retribution toward subordinate caucasians officers for the pain and hostile work environment their elders inflicted on you as probationers (P-1′s) and novice P-2′s. You are a high value target. You perpetuated the cycle of racism in the department as well. You breed a new generation of bigoted caucasian officer when you belittle them and treat them unfairly.
Those Hispanic officers who victimize their own ethnicity because they are new immigrants to this country and are unaware of their civil rights. You call them wetbacks to their face and demean them in front of fellow officers of different ethnicities so that you will receive some sort of acceptance from your colleagues. I’m not impressed. Most likely, your parents or grandparents were immigrants at one time, but you have forgotten that. You are a high value target.
Those lesbian officers in supervising positions who go to work, day in day out, with the sole intent of attempting to prove your misandrist authority (not feminism) to degrade male officers. You are a high value target.
Those Asian officers who stand by and observe everything I previously mentioned other officers participate in on a daily basis but you say nothing, stand for nothing and protect nothing. Why? Because of your usual saying, ” I……don’t like conflict”. You are a high value target as well.
Those of you who “go along to get along” have no backbone and destroy the foundation of courage. You are the enablers of those who are guilty of misconduct. You are just as guilty as those who break the code of ethics and oath you swore.
Citizens/non-combatants, do not render medical aid to downed officers/enemy combatants. They would not do the same for you. They will let you bleed out just so they can brag to other officers that they had a 187 caper the other day and can’t wait to accrue the overtime in future court subpoenas. As they always say, “that’s the paramedics job…not mine”. Let the balance of loss of life take place. Sometimes a reset needs to occur.
It is endless the amount of times per week officers arrest an individual, label him a suspect-arrestee-defendant and then before arraignment or trial realize that he is innocent based on evidence. You know what they say when they realize an innocent man just had his life turned upside down?. “I guess he should have stayed at home that day he was discovered walking down the street and matching the suspects description. Oh well, he appeared to be a dirtbag anyways”. Meanwhile the falsely accused is left to pick up his life, get a new, family, friends, and sense of self worth.
Don’t honor these fallen officers/dirtbags. When your family members die, they just see you as extra overtime at a crime scene and at a perimeter. Why would you value their lives when they clearly don’t value yours or your family members lives? I’ve heard many officers who state they see dead victims as ATV’s, Waverunners, RV’s and new clothes for their kids. Why would you shed a tear for them when they in return crack a smile for your loss because of the impending extra money they will receive in their next paycheck for sitting at your loved ones crime scene of 6 hours because of the overtime they will accrue. They take photos of your loved ones recently deceased bodies with their cellphones and play a game of who has the most graphic dead body of the night with officers from other divisions. This isn’t just the 20 something year old officers, this is the 50 year old officers with significant time on the job as well who participate.
You allow an officer, Thaniya Sungruenyos, to attempt to hack into my credit union account and still remain on the job even when Det. Zolezzi shows the evidence that the IP address (provided by LAPFCU) that attempted to hack into my account and change my username and password leads directly to her residence. You even allow this visibly disgusting looking officer to stay on the job when she perjures (lies) in court (Clark County Family Court) to the judge’s face and denies hacking into my personal credit union online account when I attempted to get my restraint order extended. Det. Zolezzi provided the evidence and you still do nothing.
How do you know when a police officer is lying??? When he begins his sentence with, “based on my experience and training”.
No one grows up and wants to be a cop killer. It was against everything I’ve ever was. As a young police explorer I found my calling in life. But, As a young police officer I found that the violent suspects on the street are not the only people you have to watch. It is the officer who was hired on to the department (pre-2000) before polygraphs were standard for all new hires and an substantial vetting in a backround investigation.
To those children of the officers who are eradicated, your parent was not the individual you thought they were. As you get older,you will see the evidence that your parent was a tyrant who loss their ethos and instead followed the path of moral corruptness. They conspired to hide and suppress the truth of misconduct on others behalf’s. Your parent will have a name and plaque on the fallen officers memorial in D.C. But, In all honesty, your parents name will be a reminder to other officers to maintain the oath they swore and to stay along the shoreline that has guided them from childhood to that of a local, state, or federal law enforcement officer.
Bratton, Beck, Hayes, Tingirides, Eisenberg, Martella, Quan, Evans, Hernandez, Villanueva/Gallegos, and Anderson. Your lack of ethics and conspiring to wrong a just individual are over.
Suppressing the truth will leave to deadly consequences for you and your family. There will be an element of surprise where you work, live, eat, and sleep. I will utilize ISR at your home, workplace, and all locations in between. I will utilize OSINT to discover your residences, spouses workplaces, and children’s schools. IMINT to coordinate and plan attacks on your fixed locations. Its amazing whats on NIPR. HUMINT will be utilized to collect personal schedules of targets. I never had the opportunity to have a family of my own, I’m terminating yours. Quan, Anderson, Evans, and BOR members Look your wives/husbands and surviving children directly in the face and tell them the truth as to why your children are dead.
Never allow a LAPPL union attorney to be a retired LAPD Captain,(Quan). He doesn’t work for you, your interest, or your name. He works for the department, period. His job is to protect the department from civil lawsuits being filed and their best interest which is the almighty dollar. His loyalty is to the department, not his client. Even when he knowingly knows your innocent and the BOR also knows your innocent after Christopher Gettler stated on videotape that he was kicked and Evans attorney confessed to the BOR off the record that she kicked Gettler.
The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants-TJ. This quote is not directed toward the US government which I fully support 100%. This is toward the LAPD who can not monitor itself. The consent decree should not have been lifted, ever.
I know your TTP’s, (techniques, tactics, and procedures). Any threat assessments you you generate will be useless. This is simple, I know your TTP’s and PPR’s. I will mitigate any of your attempts at preservation. ORM is my friend. I will mitigate all risks, threats and hazards. I assure you that Incident Command Posts will be target rich environments. KMA-367 license plate frames are great target indicators and make target selection even easier.
I will conduct DA operations to destroy, exploit and seize designated targets. If unsuccessful or unable to meet objectives in these initial small scale offensive actions, I will reassess my BDA and re-attack until objectives are met. I have nothing to lose. My personal casualty means nothing. Just alike AAF’s, ACM’s, and AIF’s, you can not prevail against an enemy combatant who has no fear of death. An enemy who embraces death is a lose, lose situation for their enemy combatants.
Hopefully you analyst have done your homework. You are aware that I have always been the top shot, highest score, an expert in rifle qualifications in every unit I’ve been in. I will utilize every bit of small arms training, demolition, ordnance, and survival training I’ve been given.
Do you know why we are unsuccessful in asymmetrical and guerrilla warfare in CENTCOM theatre of operations? I’ll tell you. It’s not the inefficiency of our combatant commanders, planning, readiness or training of troops. Much like the Vietnam war, ACM, AAF, foreign fighters, Jihadist, and JAM have nothing to lose. They embrace death as it is a way of life. I simply don’t fear it. I am the walking exigent circumstance you created.
The Violence of action will be HIGH. I am the reason TAC alert was established. I will bring unconventional and asymmetrical warfare to those in LAPD uniform whether on or off duty. ISR is my strength and your weakness. You will now live the life of the prey. Your RD’s and homes away from work will be my AO and battle space. I will utilize every tool within INT collections that I learned from NMITC in Dam Neck. You have misjudged a sleeping giant. There is no conventional threat assessment for me. JAM, New Ba’ath party, 1920 rev BGE, ACM, AAF, AQAP, AQIM and AQIZ have nothing on me. Do not deploy airships or gunships. SA-7 Manpads will be waiting. As you know I also own Barrett .50′s so your APC are defunct and futile.
You better have all your officers radio/phone muster (code 1) on or off duty every hour, on the hour.
Do not attempt to shadow or conduct any type of ISR on me. I have the inventory listing of all UC vehicles at Piper Tech and the home addresses of any INT analyst at JRIC and detachment locations. My POA is always POI and always true. This will be a war of attrition and a Pyrrhic and Camdean Victory for myself. You may have the resources and manpower but you are reactive and predictable in your op plans and TTP’s. I have the strength and benefits of being unpredictable, unconventional, and unforgiving. Do not waste your time with briefs and tabletops.
Whatever pre-planned responses you have established for a scenario like me, shelve it. Whatever contingency plan you have, shelve it. Whatever tertiary plan you’ve created, shelve it. I am a walking exigent circumstance with no OFF or reset button. JRIC, DOJ, LASD, FBI and other local LE can’t assist and should not involve themselves in a matter that does not concern them. For all other agencies, do not involve yourself in this capture or recovery of me. Look at the big picture of the situation. They (LAPD) created the situation. I will harm no outside agency unless it is a deadly force/IDOL situation. With today’s budgeting and fiscal mess, you guys can not afford lose several officers to IOD or KIA/EOW. Plus, other officers should not have to take on the additional duties and responsibilities of dead officers. Think about their families, outside agencies, Chiefs/Directors.
Outside agencies and individual officers on patrol. If you recognize my vehicle, and confirm it is my vehicle thru a dmv/want warrant check. It behoves you to respond to dispatch that your query was for information purposes only. If you proceed with a traffic stop or attempt to notify other officers of my location or for backup you will not live to see the medal of valor you were hoping to receive for your actions. Think before you attempt to intervene. You will not survive. Your family will receive that medal of valor posthumously. It will gather dust on the fireplace mantel for years. Then one day, it will go in a shoe box with other memories. Your mother will lose a son or daughter. Your significant other will be left alone, but they will find someone else to fill your void in the future and make them just as happy. Your children, if you have them, will call someone else mommy or daddy. Don’t be selfish. Your vest is only a level II or IIIA, think about it.
No amount of IMINT, MASINT, and ELINT assist you in capturing me. I am off the grid. You better use your feet, tongue and every available DOD/ NON-DOD HUMINT agency, contractor to find me. I know your route to and from home, and your division. I know your significant others routine, your children’s best friends and recess. I know Your Sancha’s gym hours and routine. I assure you that the casualty rate will be high. Because of that, no one will remember your name. You will merely be a DR# and “that guy” who was KIA/EOW or long term IOD/light duty in the kit room. This is exactly why “station 500″ was created. Unfortunately, orphanages will be making a comeback in the 21st century.
If you had a well regulated AWB, this would not happen. The time is now to reinstitute a ban that will save lives. Why does any sportsman need a 30 round magazine for hunting? Why does anyone need a suppressor? Why does anyone need a AR15 rifle? This is the same small arms weapons system utilized in eradicating Al Qaeda, Taliban, and every enemy combatant since the Vietnam war. Don’t give me that crap that its not a select fire or full auto rifle like the DoD uses. That’s bullshit because troops who carry the M-4/M-16 weapon system for combat ops outside the wire rarely utilize the select fire function when in contact with enemy combatants. The use of select fire probably isn’t even 1% in combat. So in essence, the AR-15 semiautomatic rifle is the same as the M-4/M-16. These do not need to be purchased as easily as walking to your local Walmart or striking the enter key on your keyboard to “add to cart”. All the firearms utilized in my activities are registered to me and were legally purchased at gun stores and private party transfers. All concealable weapons (pistols) were also legally register in my name at police stations or FFL’s. Unfortunately, are you aware that I obtained class III weapons (suppressors) without a background check thru NICS or DROS completely LEGALLY several times? I was able to use a trust account that I created on quicken will maker and a $10 notary charge at a mailbox etc. to obtain them legally. Granted, I am not a felon, nor have a DV misdemeanor conviction or active TRO against me on a NCIC file. I can buy any firearm I want, but should I be able to purchase these class III weapons (SBR’s, and suppressors) without a background check and just a $10 notary signature on a quicken will maker program? The answer is NO. I’m not even a resident of the state i purchased them in. Lock n Load just wanted money so they allow you to purchase class III weapons with just a notarized trust, military ID. Shame on you, Lock n Load. NFA and ATF need new laws and policies that do not allow loopholes such as this. In the end, I hope that you will realize that the small arms I utilize should not be accessed with the ease that I obtained them. Who in there right mind needs a fucking silencer!!! who needs a freaking SBR AR15? No one. No more Virginia Tech, Columbine HS, Wisconsin temple, Aurora theatre, Portland malls, Tucson rally, Newtown Sandy Hook. Whether by executive order or thru a bi-partisan congress an assault weapons ban needs to be re-instituted. Period!!!
Mia Farrow said it best. “Gun control is no longer debatable, it’s not a conversation, its a moral mandate.”
Sen. Feinstein, you are doing the right thing in leading the re-institution of a national AWB. Never again should any public official state that their prayers and thoughts are with the family. That has become cliche’ and meaningless. Its time for action. Let this be your legacy that you bestow to America. Do not be swayed by obstacles, antagaonist, and naysayers. Remember the innocent children at Austin, Kent, Stockton, Fullerton, San Diego, Iowa City, Jonesboro, Columbine, Nickel Mines, Blacksburg, Springfield, Red Lake, Chardon, Aurora, and Newtown. Make sure this never happens again!!!
In my cache you will find several small arms. In the cache, Bushmaster firearms, Remington precision rifles, and AAC Suppressors (silencers). All of these small arms are manufactured by Cerberus/Freedom Group. The same company responsible for the Portland mall shooting, Webster , NY, and Sandy Hook massacre.
You disrespect the office of the POTUS/Presidency and Commander in Chief. You call him Kenyan, mongroid, halfrican, muslim, and FBHO when in essence you are to address him as simply, President. The same as you did to President George W. Bush and all those in the highest ranking position of our land before him. Just as I always have. You question his birth certificate, his educational and professional accomplishments, and his judeo-christian beliefs. You make disparaging remarks about his dead parents. You never questioned the fact that his former opponent, the honorable Senator John McCain, was not born in the CONUS or that Bush had a C average in his undergrad. Electoral Candidates children (Romney) state they want to punch the president in the face during debates with no formal repercussions. No one even questioned the fact that the son just made a criminal threat toward the President. You call his wife a Wookie. Off the record, I love your new bangs, Mrs. Obama. A woman whose professional and educational accomplishments are second to none when compared to recent First wives. You call his supporters, whether black, brown, yellow, or white, leeches, FSA, welfare recipients, and ni$&er lovers. You say this openly without any discretion. Before you start with your argument that you believe I would vote for Obama because he has the same skin color as me, fuck you. I didn’t vote in this last election as my choice of candidate, John Huntsman, didn’t win the primary candidacy for his party. Mr. President, I haven’t agreed with all of your decisions but of course I haven’t agreed with all of your predecessors decisions. I think you’ve done a hell of a job with what you have been dealt and how you have managed it. I shed a tear the night you were initially elected President in 2008. I never thought that day would occur. A black man elected president in the U.S. in my lifetime. I cracked a smiled when you were re-elected in 2012 because I really didn’t think you were going to pull that one off. Romney, stop being a sore loser. You could’ve exited graciously and still contributed significantly to public service, not now. Mr. President, get back to work. Many want to see you fail as they have stated so many times previously. Unfortunately, if you fail, the U.S. fails but your opponents do not concern themselves about the big picture. Do not forget your commitment to transparency in your administration. Sometimes I believe your administration forgets that. America, you will realize today and tomorrow that this world is made up of all human beings who have the same general needs and wants in life for themselves, their kin, community, and state. That is the freedom to LIVE and LOVE. They may eat different foods, enjoy different music, have different dialects, or speak a second language, but in essence are no different from you and I. This is America. We are not a perfect sovereign country as we have our own flaws but we are the closest that will ever exist.
Unfortunately, this is not the first time an authoritative figure has lied on me.
Mr. Freid, assistant principal, Cypress HS. Remember when you lied to my mother and the police officer in your office about stating that you never stated to me in a private conversation that you know the theft suspect (Miranda) stole my watch. Let me refresh your memory. A physical education teachers assistant, a student, stole the list of combination codes to peoples lockers, from the P.E. teacher. That student then opened many of those lockers and stole students personal property. My watch was taken in that multi theft an I reported it to you. A week later you discovered that the theft suspect was Paul Miranda, a student. You stated to me in private that you know for a fact he stole my property. When I attempted to retrieve my property from the suspect. Campus security was called and you lied and stated that you never stated to me that you “know he stole my watch”. You sat there and lied to their faces right in front of me. You said it with such a deliberate, stern face. I never forgot that and was not surprised when 13 years later I was lied on again in the BOR by Teresa Evans. maybe you can confess to your family at the very least in the private of your own home. After that, contact my mother and apologize for lying to her in 1996.
If possible, I want my brain preserved for science/research to study the effects of severe depression on an individual’s brain. Since 6/26/08 when I was relieved of duty and 1/2/09 when I was terminated I have been afflicted with severe depression. I’ve had two CT scans during my lifetime that are in my medical record at Kaiser Permanente. Both are from concussions resulting from playing football. The first one was in high school, 10/96. The second was in college and occurred in 10/99. Both were conducted at Kaiser Permanente hospitals in LA/Orange county. These two CT scans should give a good baseline for my brain activity before severe depression began in late 2008.
Sure, many of you “law enforcement experts and specialist” will state, “in all my years this is the worst……..”, Stop!!! That’s not important. Ask yourselves what would cause somebody to take these drastic measures like I did. That’s what is important.
To my friends listed below, I wish we could have grown old together and spent more time together. When you reminisce of our friendship and experiences, think of that and that only. Do not dwell on my recent actions the last few days. This was a necessary evil that had to be executed in order for me to obtain my NAME back. The only thing that changes policy and garners attention is death.
Luis Sanchez, greatest friend, Marine officer, aviator, and an even better father and husband. I Couldn’t have had a better big brother than you. Your spoken wisdom was always retained by me, you old salty Mustang. You sternly told me that no matter what I accomplish I will always be a ni#%er in many individuals eyes. At the time, I did not comprehend your words. I do now. I never forgot the quote you state below. I love you bro.
I never saw a wild thing feel sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever feeling sorry for itself. –D.H. Lawrence
Jason Valadao, greatest friend, Naval officer, aviator, Great Father, husband, doctor, and even better human being. I always strived to live my life parallel to your similar values and personal disciplines. Danika is lucky to have found a man like yourself, and you are fortunate to have married an irrefutable imperfect woman. Always focus on your IMMEDIATE family as they are the ones who have loved you unconditionally and always been their to support you in difficult times. I always lived my life as WWJD (what would Jason do). Danika, take care of this guy. Jason, I’m sorry I missed your wedding and you had to find another best man. I’m sorry my predicament with the department stopped me from watching you and Danika get married and arguing with you about issues that were insignificant when I was really angry at the LAPD for what they did to me. I’m deeply sorry and I love you guys.
James Usera, great friend, attorney, father, husband, and the most cynical/blatant/politically incorrect friend a man can have. Best quality about you in college and now is that you never sugar coated the truth. I will miss our political discussions that always turned argumentative. Thanks for introducing me to outdoor sports like fishing, hunting, mudding, and also respect for the land and resources. Us city boys don’t get out much like you Alaskans. You even introduced me to PBR. A beer, that when you’re a poor college student is completely acceptable to get buzzed off of. I’m sorry I’ll never get to go on that moose and bear hunt with you. I love you bro.
Kinta Smith, greatest friend, accountant, entrepreneur, and even better Human being. You are probably the most well balanced person I’ve ever met and the most driven for success. In college, and after graduation, I was inspired by your personal drive. Never settle. When you make your first million, promise me you won’t forget to enjoy it a bit. I know your first reaction will be to invest it somewhere else. Spend a little, just a little. I love you bro.
Jason Young, great friend, entrepeneur, husband and father. You showed me the importance of fatherhood and friendship. Love you bro.
Suzie Clark Cunningham, Kassandra Harrell, Melinda Yates, Cal Jackson, Ryan Smith, The Rebelledos, The Banks, Ben Bines, J. Work, Bill O’neill, Jeremy Fletcher, and Rob Harriston.
You guys were all important and very special to me. Don’t be angry with me. I missed some of your weddings and unfortunately, some of your funerals. This was a necessary evil.
Some say it is my fault that I was terminated. Yes, DDX, I remember you stating this to me in an angry fit. You said that I should have kept my mouth shut about another officer’s misconduct. Maybe you were right. But I’m not built like others, it’s not in my DNA and my history has always shown that. When you view the video of the suspect stating he was kicked by Evans, maybe you will see that I was a decent person after all. I told the truth. It still hurt that you abandoned me in my time of need. I hope you’re happy, that’s all I ever wanted for you.
Sgt. Leonard Perez, you meant well but you should have known with your time on the job that the department would attempt to protect someone like Evans because of her time on the job, personal friendships, and ethicity. I’m not angry with you, but you should have known as an IA investigator.
Sgt Maggie Faust LPPD, Ofcr John Thomas LPPD (ret), and Chief Eric Nunez LPPD, your guidance and mentoring as a young police explorer was second to none and invaluable as a young man, police officer, and naval officer. Sgt Faust, you forewarned me long ago about joining LAPD as they were “different” and operated differently from other modern law enforcement agencies. I now know it was your humbleness and respect for all who wear the badge and protect their communities that you didn’t just express what you wanted to say, that they lack values and basic ethics as law enforcement officers. Chief Nunez, your fucking awesome. Thanks for the long talks over the years when I was an explorer, college student, Naval officer, and Police officer. Your are a great leader and carry your heart on your sleeve. Your son will be a great Air Force officer with the upringing you provided. John, what can I say? Your just an awesome person and my first exposure to what law enforcement was really about was on our ride alongs. Your realistic approach and empathetic approach to treating all people as humans first is something I carried with me daily. Thank you, every one of you.
Dr. Funahashi, thank you for the superb surgery you performed on my knee on 7/98 in Irvine, CA. I never had the opportunity to thank you for allowing me to live a life free of knee joint pain. Thank you.
CM1 Bissett (Ret.), I learned more from you about leadership than most of my own commanders. You lived by a strict ethos of get it done, and get it done right. I wanted to attend your retirement, I really did. But because of my predicament I was unable to. Hope you and Ritchie are still together. I’ve always held you in high regard.
Sgt Maj. Kenneth “Rock” Rocquemore USMC, Thank you for the intense instruction and mentorship and time spent forging me into a never quit officer. You were challenging as a DI. You made sure the vicious and intense personality I possess was discovered. On a lighter note….Don’t feel humbled you never broke me. I made it a personal goal to never give up years before. The Corp is lucky to have you at the front. Your leadership is essential and needed for all marines, especially staff NCO’s and mentorship and advisement to company grade officers. You are the epitome of a US marine and never forget that.
I thank my friends for the awesome shared experiences. I thank the unnamed women I dated over my lifetime for the great and sometimes not so great sex.
Wednesday, 30 January 2013
More about incest....:(
This is a long story
“I smile and well composed and I always appear to have it together, people see me as the perfect lady with a perfect life but behind this beautiful face and smile lays enormous pain, heartache and regrets. I grew up seeing my dad beats my mom at every opportunity and she couldn't do anything to defend herself or her children. I was the first of two children and four years older than my little brother. He was beating her one day and hit her to the wall and that was how my mother died. I was ten years old and I saw what happened, my father told a lie that she fell and died. Everybody believed him and life continued. My father married another wife just after we had my mother’s first year’s remembrance, it was another episode of violence but this time my step-mother wouldn't take his beating without fighting back. They were fighting one day and she stabbed my father in defense of herself, he eventually died after two weeks in the hospital. I became an orphan at age twelve and the only close family was my paternal uncle. It was easy for him to take us in because he wasn't married at the time.
To cut the long story short, I became my uncle’s sex slave since I was twelve and I had three abortions before the age of seventeen. I summoned courage to run away from home when I was seventeen but unfortunately for me, the only friend I could run to was living with another friend in a girl’s hostel. I was raped again by my friend’s boyfriend, became pregnant and this time I was told by the doctor the danger in having the fourth abortion. I became homeless and was sleeping from one uncompleted building to the next for the next four months. I was walking back to my “apartment” one day from the street where I sell ice water when I was hit by a car. I woke up the third day in the hospital, I lost too much blood and the baby was gone too. Double jeopardy it was, there was nobody to fight for me. The woman that hit me left some money with the doctor and promised to come back but she never did. I was discharged from the hospital in a week but there was nowhere for me to go except back to my uncompleted building. Then came my Good Samaritan, she was the doctor that has been treating me for a week.
Dr. Titi took me home to her family; her husband and two little children. I was with them for seven months and I thought heaven had finally smiled on me until her husband tried to rape me in the middle of the night while she was at work. I ran out of the house and kept running until I fainted; I woke up the following morning in front of a hospital and Dr. Titi was there again as my guardian angel. It was the same hospital that I met her, I must have intentionally run there but couldn't remember. I didn't care if she was going to believe me or not but I summoned up courage to tell her what her husband did. To my surprise, she believed me and told me the last house help they had told her the same thing but she didn't believe her until she ran away. She took me to her parents’ house and that’s how I became part of the extended family. She eventually divorced the husband and this time the wife found out he was having an affair with his Secretary.
That was twenty years ago! I went to school and became a doctor, live in the United State and married with two kids. I lost it all at age twelve when my uncle first raped me. I struggled through life just to prove to the family that took me in that they could be proud of me. I did it all for them and yes they are so proud of me but deep down I see myself as a failure. I was still hung up on the past and lived in guilt for so long. The guilt that I could be there for my little brother (I later found out he died in a car accident the day he ran away from my uncle’s house.) Life could be cruel to some, you know! I’m supposed to be happy with everything that I've achieved but I wasn't. I lived daily hoping I could die in my sleep; my past was always in my brain and with great torment it was eating me up inside. My husband tried his best but I was so far away to see that he really cared and loved me in spite of my past.
I can’t remember how he joined your group but he made sure I read everything you post on Facebook. I have no Facebook account so we always read from his account. And I became an addict but I soon found out that life was becoming interesting. I laugh a lot and my husband was surprised that anything could make me laugh this much. We started talking more by discussing everything we read. I can’t remember when but I know it was early last year 2012 that you posted something about incest and childhood abuse. It was a story about a lady and her uncle Bill. You wrote a long epistle about all the rape attempt you experienced and I remember you said something about you stabbing your father’s friend. I've never been around anyone so bold to talk about their past like that. I was encouraged; I broke down and cried until I could cry no more. It was a long night but I was happy I could tell my husband why I've been so unhappy, hate sex and why I couldn't love him the way he loves me. I knew I had to tell him and I thought he was going to walk out after finding out about my past.
I was so wrong, he loves me even more. We went for counseling for 12 weeks and the only therapy we've been having since then is logging on to your facegroup group Intimate Issues. You are a blessing and you are doing more than you can imagine, I cannot stand to see anymore more note about you trying to quit or how people treat you. Please there are many people like me out there that are blessed daily just by logging in here to read something to make them laugh, cry or just for inspiration. You have a perfect team of people, please be encouraged. I can’t begin to mention names but I can thank you and your baaaaad partners for bringing joy back into my life. I will be forty years old in August and I look forward to a bright future. And for all the laughter you all bring to my life daily, the Lord will favor you all in your endeavors. I can’t pay you but I can continue with my daily prayers for you all. I made it and I’m a survivor…this is my testimony, God bless you all.”
Dr. Olubusola Olufemi ©2013 drolubusola@theintimateissues.com
“I smile and well composed and I always appear to have it together, people see me as the perfect lady with a perfect life but behind this beautiful face and smile lays enormous pain, heartache and regrets. I grew up seeing my dad beats my mom at every opportunity and she couldn't do anything to defend herself or her children. I was the first of two children and four years older than my little brother. He was beating her one day and hit her to the wall and that was how my mother died. I was ten years old and I saw what happened, my father told a lie that she fell and died. Everybody believed him and life continued. My father married another wife just after we had my mother’s first year’s remembrance, it was another episode of violence but this time my step-mother wouldn't take his beating without fighting back. They were fighting one day and she stabbed my father in defense of herself, he eventually died after two weeks in the hospital. I became an orphan at age twelve and the only close family was my paternal uncle. It was easy for him to take us in because he wasn't married at the time.
To cut the long story short, I became my uncle’s sex slave since I was twelve and I had three abortions before the age of seventeen. I summoned courage to run away from home when I was seventeen but unfortunately for me, the only friend I could run to was living with another friend in a girl’s hostel. I was raped again by my friend’s boyfriend, became pregnant and this time I was told by the doctor the danger in having the fourth abortion. I became homeless and was sleeping from one uncompleted building to the next for the next four months. I was walking back to my “apartment” one day from the street where I sell ice water when I was hit by a car. I woke up the third day in the hospital, I lost too much blood and the baby was gone too. Double jeopardy it was, there was nobody to fight for me. The woman that hit me left some money with the doctor and promised to come back but she never did. I was discharged from the hospital in a week but there was nowhere for me to go except back to my uncompleted building. Then came my Good Samaritan, she was the doctor that has been treating me for a week.
Dr. Titi took me home to her family; her husband and two little children. I was with them for seven months and I thought heaven had finally smiled on me until her husband tried to rape me in the middle of the night while she was at work. I ran out of the house and kept running until I fainted; I woke up the following morning in front of a hospital and Dr. Titi was there again as my guardian angel. It was the same hospital that I met her, I must have intentionally run there but couldn't remember. I didn't care if she was going to believe me or not but I summoned up courage to tell her what her husband did. To my surprise, she believed me and told me the last house help they had told her the same thing but she didn't believe her until she ran away. She took me to her parents’ house and that’s how I became part of the extended family. She eventually divorced the husband and this time the wife found out he was having an affair with his Secretary.
That was twenty years ago! I went to school and became a doctor, live in the United State and married with two kids. I lost it all at age twelve when my uncle first raped me. I struggled through life just to prove to the family that took me in that they could be proud of me. I did it all for them and yes they are so proud of me but deep down I see myself as a failure. I was still hung up on the past and lived in guilt for so long. The guilt that I could be there for my little brother (I later found out he died in a car accident the day he ran away from my uncle’s house.) Life could be cruel to some, you know! I’m supposed to be happy with everything that I've achieved but I wasn't. I lived daily hoping I could die in my sleep; my past was always in my brain and with great torment it was eating me up inside. My husband tried his best but I was so far away to see that he really cared and loved me in spite of my past.
I can’t remember how he joined your group but he made sure I read everything you post on Facebook. I have no Facebook account so we always read from his account. And I became an addict but I soon found out that life was becoming interesting. I laugh a lot and my husband was surprised that anything could make me laugh this much. We started talking more by discussing everything we read. I can’t remember when but I know it was early last year 2012 that you posted something about incest and childhood abuse. It was a story about a lady and her uncle Bill. You wrote a long epistle about all the rape attempt you experienced and I remember you said something about you stabbing your father’s friend. I've never been around anyone so bold to talk about their past like that. I was encouraged; I broke down and cried until I could cry no more. It was a long night but I was happy I could tell my husband why I've been so unhappy, hate sex and why I couldn't love him the way he loves me. I knew I had to tell him and I thought he was going to walk out after finding out about my past.
I was so wrong, he loves me even more. We went for counseling for 12 weeks and the only therapy we've been having since then is logging on to your facegroup group Intimate Issues. You are a blessing and you are doing more than you can imagine, I cannot stand to see anymore more note about you trying to quit or how people treat you. Please there are many people like me out there that are blessed daily just by logging in here to read something to make them laugh, cry or just for inspiration. You have a perfect team of people, please be encouraged. I can’t begin to mention names but I can thank you and your baaaaad partners for bringing joy back into my life. I will be forty years old in August and I look forward to a bright future. And for all the laughter you all bring to my life daily, the Lord will favor you all in your endeavors. I can’t pay you but I can continue with my daily prayers for you all. I made it and I’m a survivor…this is my testimony, God bless you all.”
Dr. Olubusola Olufemi ©2013 drolubusola@theintimateissues.com
Wednesday, 23 January 2013
REAL LIVES: VICTIM OF DOMESTIC ABUSE SPEAKS OUT: As I lay partially blind on my left eyeon my hospital bed, with cancer...
While the above photo was from google and used for emphasis, the rest of this blog is a real story, copied, unedited, written by Beloved Apostle Bimpe on the 23rd december 2012
Every part of your body is more sensitive than you think. Whatever you do with it today tells on it in your later life. Don't compromise your body to irrationally secure your marriage, a man that loves you in the first instance will not bang your head on the wall or abuse any part of your body in the name of anger. When the consequences come, the wife beater will be there!
As I lay partially blind on my left eye and deaf on my hospital bed, with secondary cancer on my head pressing on my vital head organs, I remember how my ex-husband and run away father of my children Dapo Sorinolu , delighted in boxing my head especially in my sleep. ...many times he attempted to suffocate me with pillows when his many attempts to sacrifice me through the occult means failed.
NOT A TAIL!
I reported to Nigerian Police. Case duly entered and documented on threat to my life at Lagos State Police Headquarters: Rather than have investigation into justice, one of the prominent officers in the matter; then SHERIFAT FADEYI, now SHERIFAT SORINOLU dramatically become the wife of my accused husband. Casenote dismissed even after her confession before the assembly of top Lagos State senior officers in the presence of the Commissioner of Police. She was even given a plumier appointment afterwards. She is now a prominent officer at Milverton Rd, Ikoyi. I imagine what higher grade damage she is doing with cases there!
WHY HAVE I POSTED THIS?
Not in bitterness but in deliverance of many others who are victims of domestic violence and abuse of power in Nigeria. I have had my portion of the bitter taste and now, living with the side effects of which cancer is one: STRESS from ..UNENDING STATE OF HOPELESSNESS.
But THANK GOD FOR JESUS IN WHOM I FOUND GRACE TO BEAR WITH MY ABANDONED CHILDREN. I hope voices of truth will arise now to defend the poor masses out there.
I say the truth, I lie not. below is photograph of my reported husband(accused person) Dapo Sorinolu and Sherifat Fadeyi(one of case officer) now Mrs Sherifat Sorinolu.
Will someone HAIL NIGERIA POLICE WITH ME?????
Wednesday, 9 January 2013
REAL LIVES REAL AS YOU AND I (Part 2): I suffered and survived paedophilia FROM FAMILY!
SHE SAID:
I was only 4 years old when my father's only brother came to kaduna to take me to Aba to live with him and his wife. This arrangement was made because they had no kid after 7yrs of marriage and they believed if a child comes to live with them in the house the child will bring goodluck and the woman will conceive. luckily, few months after i came to the house, the woman became pregnant and months later she had a son, then after a year, she had another child (a daughter).
After a while, her kid sister who was about 6yrs my senior joined us in the house. her younger brother who was about 20 yrs my senior was with them in the house helping my uncle in his shop. As time went by, she started maltreating me, accusing me of stealing and bed-wetting which was done by her sister but she never believed it whenever i told her i didnt do it, rather she would punish me the more the stealing continued and increased to dipping hand to take meat from the pot of soup, taking money from her purse and other breaking things in the house and laying the blame on me. one day, my uncle and aunt traveled to the village, stayed for two days and came back, i was at school when they came back, when i got home, i saw a bundle of canes stacked together on the center table, they did not even allow me to drop my books, all i knew was that my whole body was visited with flogging from two of them without telling me what i did. when i was already down from pain and weak from their beatings and couldnt move, they dragged me to the room and locked me up. calling me criminal, ANINI (Anini is the name of one big armed robber that terrorised theeastern part of nigeria many years ago.i cant get these names off my head).
Then after some hours, my aunt came and opened the door and asked me to go wash the dishes and i slept that day without food. i was stopped from going to school, sometimes my aunt will strip me naked and leave me out in the rain and i had to sleep under the stair case. sometimes she would give me things to hawk and i must sell them all and remit the money to her. one day, when i came back from hawking, i left the money and the tray in he kitchen to ease myself, by the time i came back, the money was gone and i couldnt tell her what happened cos i knew she would beat me mercilessly, so i told her brother and he said he would give me another money to give her which he did give me. later in the evening when my aunt,uncle and her sister went to church, the brother called me to his room and tried to put his hand in my Vagina and i resisted, he told me he would tell my aunt if i dont agree, i ran out of the house in confusion. i was sleeping under the stair case when i felt a big and painful stick hit my body and i woke up in pain, they took me upstairs beat me up and left me without food and i didnt know what her brother must have told her. the next day they used a rope, tied my hands and leg and locked me up in a room without food or water and both travelled for a wedding in the village, i was left in that room from friday evening to sunday morning and that gave her younger brother the opportunity to satisfy his evil urge. he gagged my mouth with a rag and did all he wanted and no one was there to save me.... (i cant continue now.. my eyes are heavy.... will finish the story later)
........I feel stronger, lets continue, when the came back, they didnt bother to know if i was dead or alive, my aunt came to the room, loosened the rope and told me to go and shower that i was stinking, and use rag and water to mop the room. when she left, i tried standing up but couldnt, my legs and body were shaking. i didnt now where the strength came from and i dragged myself up, went to the bathroom, drink water, and washed myself up. the pain i felt in my vagina was terrible coupled with the feces on my body. i wept but had to keep my voice down.
Later that evening i was sent to go to her shop and get some items, then a medical doctor that lived on the ground floor saw me and asked what happened that am not walking well, i was scarred to tell him and i started crying again, then he told me to come and see him whenever my aunt is away. luckily for me, when i came back to the house, she was already dressed to go and meet her husband so they would go for evening mass. when they left, i went to the doctor and explained every thing to him. he and his girlfriend laid me down on the bed, use some things i dont know, cleaned me up and it was painful, then gave me some drugs to take. and told me to come to their house everyday for check up. since i was stopped from going to school, it gave me the opportunity to visit the doctor's place when everyone is away. the girlfriend would bath me with warm water and disinfectant, give me food and gave me drugs as instructed by the doctor. i know God brought them into my life to help me. my parents had no idea of these things and i couldnt use the phone
Days went by and the doctor and his girlfriend traveled but they left some drugs and money for me. one day my aunts brother saw me eating biscuit, when he interrogated me and i told him how i got the money, he threatened to tell my aunt that i stole it if i dont open up for him..... i refused and he hit me had, tied me up and raped me again. this time around, i was so mad that when my aunts immediate younger sister visited the house, i told her what her brother did. instead of confronting him, she told her sister(my aunt), she put on the gas cooker, allowed it to heat up, and placed my elbow on it tellng me that if i ever accuse her brother of such things again that she would do worse things than this to me.......
SISTERS, IT IS MY TRUE STORY and till today, my parents have not heard this part of the story...when i publish the book, you alll will hear the rest of the story. i dont want to tell my parents till they see the book cos i want he whole world to hear me and use the medium to protect their children against such evil
F. N. ©2013
REAL LIVES REAL TALK: I suffered and survived domestic abuse from MY A PAEDOPHILE WHO WAS MYPASTOR (part 1)
This is not too long but you will learn from it whether you are a parent or just as a person…
HE WROTE:
This is my first time of writing you and I've never made any comment about this horror. If you think you are working in vain, please stop thinking like that. You are ministering to souls that may never be bold enough to come out to give testimonies or share their stories. I'm one of those souls and this is my opportunity to say thank you. I'm blessed by this and I don't have to mention names but you have all changed my life and saved a soul.
I don't personally see the word sex when I read your posts but I pay attention to read the undertone messages. You are a very smart and interesting writer.
I’m a victim of sexual abuse since I was twelve, first it was my pastor. My parents trusted him so much they almost gave me away to him as a child. Everything was about the pastor and I was practically dependent on his mentor-ship. He raped me one day after I turned twelve. It started from little gestures and buying gifts and sometimes, he would ask my parents for me to pass the night or go out of town with him. It was one of those out of town weekends that he gave me alcohol and raped me. He assured me something would happen to my family if I ever say anything to anybody. I went back home a damaged teenager. I withdrew but my parents were too busy to notice that my pastor just took my innocence and youth away from me. Life became empty and I tried to kill myself one day with the rat poison and then he came right on time to check on me!
School suffered and I lost interest in life, I despised anything that had to do with the church. My uncle came to take me from Lagos to live with him in Ibadan and I thought things would be a little better. I was fifteen and my uncle’s wife one day came to my room in the middle of the night to force me to have sex with her. Her husband traveled a lot and seldom stayed at home, the only child was just two years old. I refused but the second time she tried; she must have put a sleeping pill in my food. I woke up in the middle of the night and she was on top of me. I ran out and I was locked outside to sleep with the dog. She lied to my uncle when he came back that I stole her money. The following day after a good beating from my uncle, I actually stole her money to transport back to Lagos. This time I refused to go home but to a friend’s. I became the black sheep of the family but something kept pushing me to stay in school. I did every dirty job to send myself to college with the help of my friend’s mother, he was the only child and the mom made me promise her to finish school no matter what.
Yes, I did but with my Master’s degree and a good job that my mates envied; life was empty and sex to me was a dirty and filthy act. I also stopped going to church since the incident with the pastor. I was on line the day you started the group and I’m one of the first you added too. I've been reading some of your notes on your wall and it’s been almost two years of cleansing, renewing and finding hope in messages from people that don’t know I exist. May 25th was a Friday and God gave me a special gift that day, I met this lady that became my best friend and I’m planning on proposing to her. I’m not obsessed but I just want it to be significant. I went to my mother to tell her what happened and to my surprise she believed me, I lost my father about five years ago. Forgiving her and the pastor was easy because I was already going through a life changing experience.
Now, I see life differently, I’m healed and I know there is hope for me and others like me. Please next time you get frustrated, think about people like me that might never come out to say thank you but are praying for you secretly.
DrOlubusola Olufemi ©2013
For victims of child sexual abuse and paedophiles, there is hope, SPEAK UP, SPEAK LOUDLY, SPEAK OUT, you just might be saving your life...and that of others...click for part 2 here
HE WROTE:
This is my first time of writing you and I've never made any comment about this horror. If you think you are working in vain, please stop thinking like that. You are ministering to souls that may never be bold enough to come out to give testimonies or share their stories. I'm one of those souls and this is my opportunity to say thank you. I'm blessed by this and I don't have to mention names but you have all changed my life and saved a soul.
I don't personally see the word sex when I read your posts but I pay attention to read the undertone messages. You are a very smart and interesting writer.
I’m a victim of sexual abuse since I was twelve, first it was my pastor. My parents trusted him so much they almost gave me away to him as a child. Everything was about the pastor and I was practically dependent on his mentor-ship. He raped me one day after I turned twelve. It started from little gestures and buying gifts and sometimes, he would ask my parents for me to pass the night or go out of town with him. It was one of those out of town weekends that he gave me alcohol and raped me. He assured me something would happen to my family if I ever say anything to anybody. I went back home a damaged teenager. I withdrew but my parents were too busy to notice that my pastor just took my innocence and youth away from me. Life became empty and I tried to kill myself one day with the rat poison and then he came right on time to check on me!
School suffered and I lost interest in life, I despised anything that had to do with the church. My uncle came to take me from Lagos to live with him in Ibadan and I thought things would be a little better. I was fifteen and my uncle’s wife one day came to my room in the middle of the night to force me to have sex with her. Her husband traveled a lot and seldom stayed at home, the only child was just two years old. I refused but the second time she tried; she must have put a sleeping pill in my food. I woke up in the middle of the night and she was on top of me. I ran out and I was locked outside to sleep with the dog. She lied to my uncle when he came back that I stole her money. The following day after a good beating from my uncle, I actually stole her money to transport back to Lagos. This time I refused to go home but to a friend’s. I became the black sheep of the family but something kept pushing me to stay in school. I did every dirty job to send myself to college with the help of my friend’s mother, he was the only child and the mom made me promise her to finish school no matter what.
Yes, I did but with my Master’s degree and a good job that my mates envied; life was empty and sex to me was a dirty and filthy act. I also stopped going to church since the incident with the pastor. I was on line the day you started the group and I’m one of the first you added too. I've been reading some of your notes on your wall and it’s been almost two years of cleansing, renewing and finding hope in messages from people that don’t know I exist. May 25th was a Friday and God gave me a special gift that day, I met this lady that became my best friend and I’m planning on proposing to her. I’m not obsessed but I just want it to be significant. I went to my mother to tell her what happened and to my surprise she believed me, I lost my father about five years ago. Forgiving her and the pastor was easy because I was already going through a life changing experience.
Now, I see life differently, I’m healed and I know there is hope for me and others like me. Please next time you get frustrated, think about people like me that might never come out to say thank you but are praying for you secretly.
DrOlubusola Olufemi ©2013
For victims of child sexual abuse and paedophiles, there is hope, SPEAK UP, SPEAK LOUDLY, SPEAK OUT, you just might be saving your life...and that of others...click for part 2 here
Tuesday, 1 January 2013
REAL LIVES REAL TALK: Is there such a thing as a HAPPILY MARRIED WOMAN...?.....Have a great 2013 one and all ;)
Is there such a thing as a HAPPILY MARRIED WOMAN? There has been so many stories of cheating, abusive, violent husbands. Husbands who clear out the joint accounts and disappear. Husbands who do not show love to their wives in any way. I will tell you something I noticed in many (NOT ALL OH) of my married friends, for the females one the moment they become wives they look all stressed out and unhappy and for the males they look very fresh, even fatter than before. It seems to be that the women in such situations are carrying all the responsibilities of keeping a married home, while the men remain semi bachelors only now they have a nurse, cook, maid, sex slave, gardener, driver, washerwoman who still works and (sometimes) surrender her earnings to him to do as he pleases. So I ask where are the happily married women? These women believe so, and if you are one, please share with us.....Have a great new year ;)
Ha: " I appreciate dat der are a lot of stories of husbands abusing $ battering their wives.
I want to point out (witout any intention to discredit the real life stories already posted ) that some women have been blessed with good men so let's celebrate our good men $ maybe post some things about them so that we also portray d beauty of our marraiges too
I'm beginning to fear oh!"
Happily Married Woman 1 (HMW1): I agree with you Ha, Marriage is something am really enjoyin rite now by d grace of God. We hv our ups nd downs, issues nd all, but his Luv for me is...... Can't even get d rite words! He shows me he luvs me in all his actions. When we hv quarells, he cannot sleep until we ve settled. When he has money, he always wants to spoil me silly,he still calls me a thousand nd one time a day. Kisses me nd public. If my husband has one million naira today, he wuld give me 800k nd say " baby u re d one running d house, u knw all wot we need,settle everything dat needs to be setted nd save d rest". Yes he does dat, but I can assure u dat I earned his complete trust in money issues, it wasn't jes born out of luv.! On my own part, I hv not jes being receiving nd enjoyin d luv he's bin showering on me, I equally receprocate in every way possible. I often buy my husband gifts,nd he's always soooo appreciative. Dis xmas I gave him 2 bottles of Mens designer perfumes, nd its not even d first time am gettin him perfumes, but he has told me thank u, more dan 10times, which is always followed wit a hot kiss......! Our luv making sessions re still very steamy, but not as often as b4( body dey taya na)lolllll! Well I think I hv said enuf na abi?
HMW2: My husband is not just my husband. He's my business partner, my friend, my lover. We work together running our business so we spend practically all the time together. We make all decisions together. We share household chores (no househelp bcoz we love to dey waka round house in our birthday suites, lol) We also alternate chores so it doesnt get monotonous. He is my number 1 cheerleader, always urging me to follow my dreams and passion. We have a pact to settle every disagreement before sleeping. He's always designing romantic ecards and mailing to me even when im right beside him. Every time he steps out even if just for a stroll, he buys me something no matter how small (biscuit, novel, chocolate, sweet, hair ruffle etc) Reads up on news and gists me to keep me up to date. He is the most caring and considerate man i know. I can get him to do practically anything coz he loves making me happy and i do not take that for granted. I trust him and he trusts me.
My mom loves him like her own son and always blesses him.
Many mornings i wake up to see him watching me and he goes 'you are so beautiful'.
Right now he's pacing with our son to get him to sleep so i can rest
HMW3: Ok na,my hubby is not perfect just as am not but we are a perfect match.He understands me so well and he trusts me with his life(d trust dey fear me sef).We share everything including toothbrush.He assists in d household chores including cooking(noodles).Our begining is a small one and we don't despise it.We've never solicited for 3rd party to resolve issues.Though not very expressive,I understand he loves and respects me a lot.I love my hubby cos he rocks.Don't even know who would put up with my small small wahala if not him.2yrs now,no regrets.I only trust God for things to get better,and better and better
HMW4: If u know me on a personal note u wld understand why am starting on this note,my hubby is a gentleman to d core,quiet,God fearing,dresses well and crazy abt the ground I walk upon. am noisy, always on the move, full of life and don't give care in d world abt fashion. Meeting this dark young, lanky, tall man has changed my life for good forever,been married for abt 10months now and I have never had a better yesterday,all I experience is love and spiritual growth. Before I married becoz of the kind of background I came from I told God I wanted a man that wld fear him and love me in a unusual way,coz if he fears God loving me wld be just be icing on the cake. we have had our own issues but d rule is settle before nite devotion takes place. He won't step out d door daily without a deep kiss and prayer over me,he calls everyoda minute when we are apart, washes my clothes,he cooks for me,baths me and hand's over his atm coz am more organised with the money. When I talk abt other pple's burdens,he takes it upon himself to pray for the person,he still sends me mails and buys crazy clothes/shoes for me. To crown it all I learnt from a little bird,that I wld soon be riding a new car(crowning my year with goodness). Sisters maybe its not much for u,I come from a divorced home but for me its restoration,my missing rib,my heartbeat,my life,my joy is Yamai(thatz his name) has given me heaven on earth!!!
HMW5: Ha, you are on the right path with such thoughts that there are still some very good men out there. I was a single mom for years till I met this cool young guy who took me and my daughter. He's never been married, never had a child, an ibo guy and the first child for that matter. Took me home after 3months of dating and told his parents that I was the one. We celebrated our one year wedding anniversary this December with a 3months old daughter to show. My life is sweeter and better, we are receiving great blessings that comes with marriage. I pray that my single sisters here find the man straight from God alone who gives us according to our needs. Amen
Ha: Thank you o! For me I'm praying for all my single sisters oh! I put up d post cos I was worried dat we would put fear in our sisters about to take d leap into dia own homes. Here is my own story. Hmnn I'm married to a very good man too..
Wen we got married he hadn't started much jobs yet(he's an architect)I was working wit a bank $ I had a house so we stayed @ my house $ now I'm not working $ he is, I'm reaping a bountiful harvest *smilingnaughtily*
He still kisses my forehead in public $ wyl I sleep. He wld kiss me everyday b4 stepping out of d house, wld say he was sorry once my mouth begins to elongate(lol) wen I'm upset my mouth elongates... He used to buy me fresh flowers $ choclates $ send dem to me @work(he made me d envy of my colleagues @work)
Anniversaries are a big deal wit him, every anniversary is an adventure. He bought me xmas clothes/shoes (I'm over 30). One day I did something wrong he yelled @me $ I cried, he apologised for over 2weeks+dashed me money to appease me(lol,I pushed my mouth till he gave me d money)...
D doctor asked me to loose weight (d 20kg I spoke about earlier) cos my periods are irregular cos we don't have any kids yet $ we re trying for dem,2my surprise he made a very juicy deal wit me if I lost weight $ also bought some machines in d house for me,den promised to hold my hand $ go on d journey wit me... We make love more times a week dan I can count on my fingers..
I can go on and on. Bottom line is I think marraige has its issues but its beautiful too, its has been a wonderful 2+yrs so far... I bless God.
Happily married wives that glance through this blog, please drop a line or two of encourgament.
Mena
p.s:
Here is wishing all my friends a Happy New Year of new, prosperous and fruitful beginnings and the continued reinforcement of the goodness that God has already bestowed on some of them the previous years. May you begin this year to reap from where you sow! May your joys know no limit! May the Lord’s Mighty Hands guide and protect you! May you remain indomitable marvels to those who detest your progress! May the air you breathe keep you fresh; may any liquid you drink water your wisdom and may the food you eat strengthen you and immunize you against all ingestible evil! May your friendship with me be the fountain of many blessings through which the Lord will magnify you before men! May your love of God remain a function of your love for your fellow man! May the Almighty keep us hale and hearty throughout the year and beyond! AMEN!
Thursday, 20 December 2012
Oh gosh I love you, I love you so much!
A Must Read!!
To marry a good wife is one of the best thing that can happen to a man. The story goes thus:
I, Sarah Adams take Lawson Kuti as my lawful wedded husband, to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, till death do us part” she smiled at him through her veil.
“You may now kiss your bride Mr. Lawson” the Pastor beckoned.
Lawson’s heart raced as he gently unveiled his bride’s face. She looked so beautiful. He gently bent over and placed a soft kiss on her lip. Sarah in turn embraced him tightly with tears of joy streaming down her face.
“Never leave me Sarah” he whispered in her ear.
“I will never leave you” she whispered and they slowly released themselves from the embrace.
“I present to you the latest couple!” The Pastor exclaimed excitedly
The church cheered and Sarah cried more in her husband’s arms
5 years Later
Sarah silently tip toed behind her husband. He was in his study, engrossed in reading. She smiled to herself and gently covered his eyes with both hands.
“It’s just you and I in this house Sara, plus, I smelled you the moment you walked in” He dropped
Sara released her hold, sighed and sat on the study table, “Why do you figure me out so easily? I can’t even surprise you! That sucks” she curled her arms around his neck
“You are my wife, nothing you do is supposed to surprise me” He playfully pecked her nose.
“But you’ve been in the study all day and I’m bored!” She rolled her eyes
“So what kind of fun do you suggest we have then?” He swooped her off the table in his arms
“No! no that kind of fun!” She hit him playfully till he put her down
“Ok”, He folded his arms on his chest, looking into her eyes, “So what do you want us to do?”
“Not us. Actually, all I want is to play with your play station and you’ve hidden it again! Just give it and you can continue your reading. pleaaaseee” She blinked her eyes playfully
“No way”, He went back toward his study chair and sat, “Not my play station”
“Why! You never let me touch it…like its your baby” She sulked
“Well”, he rolled his eyes, “Not like you’ve given me a baby yet”
Sara paused for a moment. Did he just say that to her? The words struck her deep down
“You shouldn’t have said that Lawson…” She managed to say, her countenance changing.
“But it’s true…I’m only saying the truth Sara” He turned to face her, still sitting on the chair.
“The truth? You think I don’t want us to have kids?”
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that…” He stood to face her now.
“Then what are you saying Lawson? Tell me, what is the truth?”
“Let’s not do this today…please. You can have the play station and play all you want. It’s in my footwear locker and the key is in my Bible”
“You always do this…hurting me with your words” Her voice began to shake
“Don’t start Sara please”
“Tell me why you said those words to me! I want to know!”
“Because I’m tired! I want to be a father! I want to have my own kids Sara…”
” and you think I don’t?!” Sara flared, trying not to let the tears pour
“Then why can’t you get pregnant Sara? This is the fifth year we are trying.” He clenched his teeh and walked out of the study.
Sara was in shock. She sat on the chair for some seconds, stood up again and saton the chair again…this time she held on to her blouse and burst into tears.
2weeks after
“Lawson, wake up please” Sara tapped him
Lawson gently opened his eyes and looked at the alarm clock by his bedside, “It’s 2:00am Sara…”
“It’s urgent”
“I’m listening” He said drowsily
“Mother says we should come for tests. She says she’s spoken to her doctor and he said we should come.”
“What?” Lawson opened his eyes now, “Your mother is the UK for Christs sakes”
“Let’s just do it. We can go for the weekend, lets just give it a shot, please.”
“No. That would be rather expensive and…”
“It’s my birthday today and the only thing I want from you is this trip”
Lawson fell quiet now. For the past two years now, his wife’s birthday skips his mind…totally.
“I’m…I’m sorry Sara…It skipped my mind…”
“It always does” She lay down back on the bed, backing him.
Lawson wrapped his arms around her waist, “I said I’m sorry…”
No response.
Lawson sighed, “Fine, we go this weekend”
“Really?” She turned sharply, excited
“If it will make you happy today”
“Thank you baby” She hugged him.
A week after
Sara jerked at the vibration of the phone in her pocket.
“Hi mom!” she pressed the phone to her ear with her shoulders, wiping the washed dishes with her hands.
“Honey…”
“What is it mom?” she pressed it harder
“The result…the result of the tests…” her mother cried
Sarah gently dropped the plate and the wiper, hear racing…”Just say it mom…”
That night
“I can never have children Lawson…” Sara cried
Lawson felt his world crash right in front of him, “W…what?”
“Mama called today…she’s gotten the tests results”
“Jesus Christ” Lawson stood, placing his palm on his head, “b…but you told m you were ok before we got married, you told me the doctor said your abortion didn’t damage your womb”
“Don’t bring my past into this!” Sara flared
Lawson laughed and got serious almost immediately, “You are crazy. I married a crazy woman!”
Sara looked at him in shock, like he’d lost his mind.
“The results say you can never have children and we bith know that this has to do with the abortion you had before we met!”, he flared, “are you happy?…you know we’re screwed right? No kids? what re we going to tell the world?”
“Lawson we can adopt…” Sara cried
“Adopt? Wow!”, he laughed again, “I married a funny woman too!” He got sserious again, “Its still not our baby! The damn baby is not my flesh and blood! You are full of deceit Sara” He looked into her eyes. Sara could see him fighting his tears.
“Lawson stop…you are hurting me…” Sara fell on her knees crying
“You want to know what I’m thinking?” Lawson looked at her with disgust, “I’m thinking how on earth I’m going to stand seeing your deceitful face for the rest of my life”
“Sra cried harder, “Dont give up Lawson…So far I have a womb…I can still carry our baby…”
“I am not giving up on having my baby, I’m giving up on you” Lawson turned around to leave
“Lawson!” She held his feet, “I’m hurting too…”
He only dragged his feet from her hold and drove out of the house. She wept.
A month Later
“Mother, he’s not even talking to me. All of a sudden we are both strangers…He doesn’t eat my food, comes home late…he hates me so much and its killing me. I’m confused…to think that it’s ,e truly hurting…”
“For how long will you hide this truth from him. You’ve got to let him know…you can’t carry his…”
There was the sound of a car hon
“Mom I’ve got to go…he’s back”
“Baby, you’ve got to let him know. It can work when you two are one in mind”
“Bye mom” she ended the call.
Lawson came into the house, about to walk past her.
“Lawson” She held him
“I’m tired” He didn’t want to look at her face
“I know…can we talk for some minutes?” She tried to help him remove his suit
“Look what is it” He jerked from her
“Do you hate me this much? you can’t even look me in the eye? you can’t even stand my sight? Lawson…it’s me Sara…your best friend…” Her eyes grew moist
“I’m in no mood for this” He turned around to walk away
“Don’t you dare leave when I’m talking to you!” She dragged him by the suit.Just then, some papers fell to the floor. Sara quickly bent to pick them up…her hands shook and her body became numb all over.
“D…divorce papers? Lawson?” She searched his eyes
“Answer me goddammit!” She held him by the collar of his shirt, crying
“They are for you to sign. I want out” Lawson dropped
“Y…you what?” she slowly freed him from her hold
“It’s not going to work Sara, can’t you see?”
“Lawson I can’t believe you would think of a divorce and even go this far…why are you so wicked!” she cried, angry
“No! Why are you so wicked!” He retorted, flaring
“Think about me for once. I am a man for Christs sakes. My children are my pride! and you are about to deny me that for the rest of my life because of your stupid mistake!”
“What about me! have you stopped for once to think about what I’m going through”
“Its your cross, carry it” Lawson fixed his angry eyes on his wife
“No, its now our cross and I am not signing those divorce papers! We vowed never to leave each other!”
“Isn’t it better Sara that you save yourself more hurt and sign these papers than to see another woman move into this house before your very eyes?” he said with a tone of sarcasm
Sara’s heart thumped, “What?”
“You heard me…another woman who can help raise a family, so save yourself the stress and sign the damn papers. I need it tomorrow”He turned around to leave again
“She still can;t carry your baby” Sara dropped
“Not all women had abortions. Not every woman was like you.” He scorned
“You are the one who can’t give me a child!” Sara let out, crying.
Lawson stopped now, turned around and walked towards her, “Whatever your plan is won’t work”
“I told you I could never have a child because its you who can’t make me pregnant”
“Shut up! shut up Sara! what the hell are you saying!” He shook her shoulders violently
“You are infertile Lawson…the doctor says you have primary infertility…” Sara burst into tears
Lawson gasped, loosing his balance.
“Mother called me to give me the news. I was shattered, I felt like my world was over but more importantly I thought of you. I thought of what the news could do to you, I thoight of the best way to tell you… never for once did i think of leaving you. I bore your insults, your scorn, because of my past. It was so easy to judge me and think of yourself. I am the one who is hurting, I am the one who should bring some miserable divorce papers…but I thought of you…I thought of hope, faith and a miracle…I thought of my vow to you on that altar. In sickness and in health remember?”, she smiled through her tears, “all of a sudden you are as weak as a baby…looking in your eyes, I can see you sudenly have lost all your guards, You are so wicked”
“Sara…” Lawson fell on his knees, torn.
“No!” She quickly fell on her knees too, “No Lawson…” She couldn’t bear to see him cry
“I’m…I’m infertile”, he cried, “What is left of me?” he searched his wife’s eyes
“Lawson please…” she held his face, “I understand…it has been so hard for me…I have put myself in your shoes since the first day…”
“You don’t deserve this…you deserve better…I can’t believe I scorned you all along…please let me leave you”
“No” she shook her head, “You are my husband. I won’t leave you. I won’t let you leave me…I believe in miracles”
“I’m doomed…Sara I’m doomed…”He allowed his wife take him in her arms and on her shoulder he wept like a child.
In the Morning
Sara gently opened her eyes, looking beside her bed…it was empty. She quickly sat up on seeing a note gently placed on the bed. Hands shaking, she opened the letter to read.
Sara,
I cannot bear the shame. I have treated you so unfairly, yet you love me still, you are with me even in this condition of mine. To think that you knew all along and you never for once gave me a clue that it is my fault we are in this mess, makes me so unworthy of you. I love you enough to let you build another life with a man who can make you happier. I’m torn Sara and all I ask is your forgiveness. I have always loved you and if you truly love me then please start your life over again…without me…I am truly sorry for disappointing you.
Lawson.
Sara couldn’t control the tears. She couldn’t think straight anymore. She picked her cell phone, shaking…
“Hi Mr. Lawson’s office please”
“hI Lola…” she cried, “have you seen my husband today?”
“No…no ma’am, we’ve been expecting him at work. He has a presentation in fifteen minutes”
“Oh God…God…” Sara dipped her hand in her full hair
“Everything ok ma’am?”
“Thank you” she ended the call.
She quickly got down from the bed and in her pajamas she ran into her car. She dialed his number repeatedly as she drove…no answer.
At 2:00pm
She sped into Fred’s compound, a close friend to her husband.
“Fred!” she banged the door hastily till the door flung open
“My God Sara what’s wrong?” Fred held her
“It’s…its Lawson…have you seen him? is he here?”
“No…Haven’t heard from him in a week”
“Oh God” she held her hair
“What’s wrong?”
But she was already walking away into her car.
“Sara!” He called after her.
She zoomed away.
4:30pm
“Mom, Dad, I can’t find Lawson…I can’t find your son…” she cried as she paced in front of the two who looked lost
“You have to calm down and tell us what happened” Lawson’s mother put her arms around Sara.
Sara burst into tears, “Please Dad could you try his number, maybe he’d pick your call?”
“Have you been to his office?” He picked his cellphone and dialed his son’s number
“I have been everywhere I know him to be likely available”
“It’s ok…calm down please” Lawson’s mother pet her
“He’s not picking. What exactly went wrong between you two?” Lawson’s father searched Sara’a eyes
9:00pm
Sara was still in her pajamas and on her way back home, exhausted and stuck in the traffic. She had told Lawson’s parents everything. The poor couple was so shattered and also begging her to begin a new life. Sara buried her head on the steering, crying; she hadn’t realized the green light.
“Hey get off the freaking road!” a driver cursed from behind her
“God please don’t let him harm himself…keep him safe and lead me to him…please God…” she quickly started the car and began to move.
Suddenly she remembered the church where they wedded and took their vows. It was two hours from here; she made a u-turn and headed for the church hoping to find some peace.
She tiredly got down from the car, drenched and exhausted. She trudged into the open entrance of the church. She paused for a moment; shocked…it was Lawson sitting at the front row of the empty church, facing the altar.
“Lawson!” She began to run towards him, happy, relieved that he was ok.
“Sara?” He quickly stood as she approached him, “Sara…”
They both ran into each other’s arms. He hugged her so tightly
“I looked for you everywhere….thi s was the last place I thought you’d ever be…I just came and I saw you…Lawson….I’m so happy you are ok” she touched his face
“I didn’t know where else to go…It just feels like I cant face the world anymore…” he slowly released her from his embrace.
“Take my hand” Sara stretched out her hand, “C’mon, just take it”
Lawson gently clasped his hand into hers and she took him to the altar and stood to face him. She searched his eyes so deeply and hadn’t seen him so weak and helpless.
“Five years ago Lawson, we both stood on this altar. Remember our vows? Remember you whispered in my ear never to leave you. I told you I wouldn’t…that’s why I’m here. I am your wife Lawson, I am meant to be with you forever, through the bad and good times. We’ve had good times, why would I leave you now? All I want from you is to believe that you can still give me a child despite what the result said…I want you to believe in a miracle”, she held his face, “remember when you told me I was a miracle in your life?…our children will be our miracles too. Trust God with me because I know it won’t be long…”
“Who are you Sara…” Lawson was weak with her words
“The one who vowed to be with you till the end” she smiled through her thin tears
“God I love you so much Sara” He hugged her again
“So will you come back home with me?” Sara searched his eyes
“I have no other place to call home” He placed a soft kiss on her lips.
2 years after
Lawson and Sara were on the sofa watching a late night movie. Sara was resting on his shoulders when she felt the movement
“Lawson Lawson, it moved again…don’t miss it this time touch touch” she gently placed his palm on the side of the stomach. Both felt the movement of their child
“I can feel him…I can feel him” Lawson placed his head on her belly
“I can feel him growing each day inside of me…”
“What do you think its saying now by this movement?”
“Thank you dada for believing in me” she laughed. They both laughed “The movement has stopped” he slowly removed his head from her stomach, “I think he’s sleeping”
Sara rested on his shoulders again, “In six months you’d be a father, “You finally got your miracle”
Lawson tilted his wife’s face to him, looking into her eyes, “Sara…you were the miracle I needed. Thank you for not leaving me.”
Sara tickled his nose with hers, “I love you too. Always will”, she smiled, “We missed a whole lot on our movie”
“Movie can wait, but this can’t” He gently planted a kiss on her belly.
- I got this from a friend, Olufamous blog!!!
Merry Christmas everyone!
Sunday, 14 October 2012
Words to Inspire you and me
It is a unique time in our history, the rise of the internet and computer technology have contributed to an unparalleled rate of growth.
But crises looms, a global recession, growing poverty, rampant violence, corruption in politics, and threats to personal freedom.
With the growth of the Internet age, something unexpected is happening. We have begun telling each other our own stories. Sharing our lives, our hopes, our dreams, our demons. Every second, day in day out, into all hours of the night the gritty details of life on this earth are streaming around the world. As we see the lives of others played out in our living rooms we are beginning to understand the consequences of our actions and the error of the old ways. We are questioning the old assumptions that we are made to consume not to create, that the world was made for our taking, that wars are inevitable, that poverty is unavoidable. As we learn more about our global community a fundamental truth has been rediscovered: We are different. Every human has strengths, weaknesses, and deep emotions. We crave love, love laughter, fear being alone and dream for a better life.
An age of sharing ideas and cooperation. An age of artistic and personal expression. We can choose to use new technology for radical positive change or let it be used against us. We can choose to keep the internet free, keep channels of communication open and dig new tunnels into those places where information is still guarded. Or we can let it all close in around us. As we move in to new digital worlds, we must acknowledge the need for honest information and free expression. We must fight to keep the internet open as a marketplace of ideas where all are seated as equals. We must defend our freedoms from those who would seek to control us. We must fight for those who do not yet have a voice. Keep telling your story. All must be heard
Monday, 8 October 2012
REST IN PEACE #justiceforAluu4
1. BIRINGA CHIDIAKA LORDSON: Year 2 theatre arts student. His dad is a top Petroleum marketing manager of PPMC, a subsidiary of the NNPC in Port- harcourt. He just turned 20 last week.
2. UGONNA KELECHI OBUZOR: Aged 19, year2 Geology student. Ugonna is from a wealthy family and the only son of his parents. His dad is a top staff of NDDC in Port-harcourt. Ugo was a talented music rap artiste, and has a song he released with his fellow mate, Lloyd. Fondly called Tipsy by his closed friends in school. Ugo had just returned from vacation in London before his life was cut short by residents of Aluu community.
3. MIKE LLOYD TOKU: Year 2 Civil Engineering student, his Dad is a famous Broadcaster and works with Radio Rivers in Port-harcourt. Lloyd who was also a talented singer did a collabo with his late friend Ugonna, which they titled ''ain't no love in the heart of the city''. He also went head to head in a rap competition with the famous VECTOR DA VIPER, when vector visited UNIPORT late last year for a show. Until his death, Lloyd was fondly called Big L' by close friends in school.
4. TAMUNOKENA ELKANNAH: Student of UNIPORT, the late Tekena was an Indigene of Okrika in Rivers state, Age 19.
Thursday, 20 September 2012
How to survive a road accident -the gifted ELNATHAN JOHN
The road home is clear. These twenty kilometres are so familiar it is easy to go into auto-pilot and drift into thoughts only my head can manage. I have had a long day- work, a reading, and dinner with a dear friend.
There is a lot on my mind. On the road I drive through the bends and turns that lead me to the wide Umar Musa Yar'Adua express way. In my head I take the bends and turns that lead me through the maze that is my mind. To painful decisions I must take, long overdue. To thoughts of all the things I planned to do before I turned thirty. To the fact that I turn thirty tomorrow and have done none of them. I try to find my way back to the beginning of things; to discover how I got here, this lonely cold place I cannot recognize.
I am tired. I shake myself awake. My body fights back- it demands rest and it demands it now. Five more minutes, I tell myself, five more minutes until I get home. I reach the express. Some parts are lit, some parts are not. I drift again and in one second it all happens. I run into a curb at one of the points where the road bends suddenly. Instinctively I step on the brakes. It is too late. I lose control of Sylvanus, my old tired car and we are screeching at a 45 degree angle. I hit something else and my head slams into the steering wheel. My head spins and suddenly everything is upside down- my body, Sylvanus and my thoughts. Sylvanus comes to a halt by the side of the road. Upside down, I feel the blood filling up my mouth.
It is fear that actuates my body, makes me ignore the pain and crawl out through the shattered glass. Fear that a fire might break out and I might get trapped in a burning vehicle. I drag myself to the side of the road, my white caftan soaked in blood. I feel open flesh hanging in my mouth. It is 2am. I am cold. Alone. In pain.
Writers who try to describe blood must not have bled like this. Real blood pouring from ones body does not smell metallic. It smells like fear. Like death.
The first car that stops is a green taxi. I am lying on the gravel with my right hand up in the air, calling for help. The taxi reverses, stops and suddenly drives off. I think of crawling back to the car to see if I can find my phone. I am too scared of a fire and too weak. Slowly as I slip in and out of consciousness cars begin to stop and voices begin to multiply.
“Do you know anybody’s number?’ someone asks, from a distance almost as if he is afraid to come close. I shake my head. He is shouting. Everyone seems to be shouting.
“My phone,” I manage to say, “in the car. My phone.”
I am afraid the phone might have flown out of the car during the crash. Someone finds it.
“Your wife, what is her number?” A man assumes I am married. I shake my head. Suggestions fly over my head. My father’s voice, on discovering I was not quite acting like a virgin, plays in my head: “I was not up to your age when I got married.”
“His brother.”
“His family”
A police van stops. They do not come close. They make radio calls that have nothing to do with an ambulance or first aid. I know at this point I must do something or bleed out in front of passers-by arguing about what to do.
“Call Achile,” I say to the man holding my phone, spitting out a glob of blood. I try to get up. They all scream at me to lie back down. They try Achile. He is asleep. They try Al-kasim. He is asleep.
Suddenly I feel like this is it: I am going to die out here alone. My parents are nearly 200kilometers away and the only other relatives who are in this town, are strangers to me.
“Garki hospital!” I call out as the police and others argue. “I have a card in Garki hospital”
Nobody is listening to me and I am fighting to retain consciousness.
After a few minutes, a man who I later will learn is Group Captain Onyike, orders the policemen to stop what they are doing and take me to the Air force Base where he lives and where there is a hospital. I am put at the back of the police van like a ram that has been knocked down by a car. I am handed my phone and they drive off.
I am afraid that I will lose consciousness completely and nobody will know where I am. I manage to send messages to a few people and tweet with the only information I know. That I am at the back of a police truck headed for the Air force hospital near the airport. I pass out.
Group Captain Onyike makes sure I get treatment. I come to and the doctor is able to get a friend, Salisu on the phone.
In the morning, the worst has passed. I am stable. Kasim, Musa and Achile are around and are taking care of things. I open my eyes and I see the dear friend with whom I had dinner last night. I am not sure how she knew or who called her. As much as I did not want her to see me like this, I am grateful that she is here. And I cannot stop my tears from rolling. But for the quick thinking of an air force officer, she might have been the one to tell stories of my last words, my last thoughts, my last feelings.
This is how to survive a road accident in Nigeria: Pray. Pray that someone with quick thinking and hospital contacts runs into you. Do not expect the police to know what to do. Do not expect emergency services. Just pray.
Elnathan John writes here
Sunday, 9 September 2012
... A SENSIBLE APPROACH TO ABUSE

The Buddha was sitting under a banyan tree. One day, a furious Brahmin came to him and started abusing him.
The Brahmin thought that Buddha would reciprocate in the same manner, but to his utter surprise, there was not the slightest change in the expression on his face.
Now, the Brahmin became more furious. He hurled more and more abuses at Buddha. However, the Buddha was completely unmoved. Actually there was a look of compassion on his face. Ultimately the Brahmin was tired of abusing him. He asked, “I have been abusing you like anything, but why are you not angry at all ?”
The Buddha calmly replied, “My dear brother, I have not accepted a single abuse from you.”
Looking at his disturbed face, Buddha further explained, “All those
abuses remain with you.”
“It cannot be possible. I have hurled all of them at you,” the Brahmin persisted.
Buddha calmly repeated his reply, “But I have not accepted even a single abuse from you ! Dear brother, suppose you give some coins to somebody,and if he does not accept them, with whom will those coins remain?”
The Brahmin replied, “If I have given the coins and not needed by
someone, then naturally they would remain with me.”
With a meaningful smile on his face, Buddha said, “Now you are right. The same has happened with your abuses. You came here and hurled abuses at me, but I have not accepted a single abuse from you. Hence, all those abuses remain with you only. So there is no reason to be angry with you.”
Monday, 3 September 2012
How to worship the Nigerian god...

...The Nigerian god is one. It may have many different manifestations, but it is essentially different sides of the same coin. Sometimes, adherents of the different sides may fight and kill each other. But Nigerians essentially follow the Nigerian god.
This article is for all those who want to become better worshippers. If you are a new or prospective convert, God will bless you for choosing the Nigerian god. This is just how you must worship him.
First, you must understand that being a worshipper has nothing to do with character, good works or righteousness. So the fact that you choose to open every meeting with multiple prayers does not mean that you intend to do what is right. The opening prayer is important. Nothing can work without it. If you are gathered to discuss how to inflate contracts, begin with an opening prayer or two. If you are gathered to discuss how to rig elections, begin with a prayer. The Nigerian god appreciates communication.
When you sneak away from your wife to call your girlfriend in the bathroom, and she asks if you will come this weekend, you must say—in addition to “Yes”—“By God’s grace” or “God willing”. It doesn’t matter the language you use. Just add it. The Nigerian god likes to be consulted before you do anything, including a trip to Obudu to see your lover.
When worshipping the Nigerian god, be loud. No, the Nigerian god is not hard of hearing. It is just that he appreciates your loud fervour, like he appreciates loud raucous music. The Nigerian god doesn’t care if you have neighbours and neither should you. When you are worshipping in your house, make sure the neighbours can’t sleep. Use loud speakers even if you are only two in the building. Anyone who complains must be evil. God will judge such a person.
Attribute everything to the Nigerian god. So, if you diverted funds from public projects and are able to afford that Phantom, when people say you have a nice car, say, “Na God”. If someone asks what the secret of all your wealth is, say, “God has been good to me”. By this you mean the Nigerian god who gave you the uncommon wisdom to re-appropriate public funds.
Consult the Nigerian god when you don’t feel like working. The Nigerian god understands that we live in a harsh climate where it is hard to do any real work. So, if you have no clue how to be in charge and things start collapsing, ask people to pray to God and ask for his intervention.
The Nigerian god loves elections and politics. When you have bribed people to get the Party nomination, used thugs to steal and stuff ballot boxes, intimidated people into either sitting at home or voting for you, lied about everything from your assets to your age, and you eventually, (through God’s grace), win the elections, you must begin by declaring that your success is the wish of God and that the other candidate should accept this will of God. It is not your fault whom the Nigerian god chooses to reward with political success. How can mere mortals complain?
The Nigerian god does not tolerate disrespect. If someone insults your religion, you must look for anyone like them and kill them. Doesn’t matter what you use—sticks, machetes, grenade launchers, IED’s, AK47’s.
The Nigerian god performs signs and wonders. He does everything from cure HIV to High BP. And the Nigerian god is creative: he can teach a person who was born blind the difference between blue and green when the man of god asks, and he can teach a person born deaf instant English. As a worshipper you must let him deliver you because every case of sickness is caused by evil demons and not infections. Every case of barrenness is caused by witches and has no scientific explanation. So instead of hospital, visit agents of the Nigerian god. But the Nigerian god does not cure corruption. Do not attempt to mock him.
If you worship the Nigerian god, you are under no obligation to be nice or kind to people who are not worshippers. They deserve no courtesy.
The Nigerian god is also online. As a worshipper, you are not obliged to be good or decent on Facebook or twitter all week except on Friday and Sunday, both of which the Nigerian god marks as holy. So you may forward obscene photos, insult people, forward lewd jokes on all days except the holy days. On those holy days, whichever applies to you, put up statuses saying how much you are crazy about God.
These days, the Nigerian god also permits tweets and Facebook updates like: "Now in Church" or "This guy in front of me needs to stop dozing" when performing acts of worship.
In all, the Nigerian god is very kind and accommodating. He gives glory and riches and private jets. And if you worship him well, he will immensely bless your hustle.
Culled from the Nigerian Daily Times as written by ELNATHAN JOHN
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