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Wednesday, 15 August 2012

CONFIDENCE TRICK AKA 419!


I have been a lazy blogger and its all my fault and I am sorry. That said I just have to blame it on moving back home and the kind of high pressure job I got. I am currently on 'sick' leave in London, (meaning I am in ownersip of my own time), and therefore hope to be inspired for new stories.

Lets start with this: CONFIDENCE TRICK AKA 419

From Wiki: Con may http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifrefer to: Confidence trick, also known as con, scam, or flim flam
A confidence trick is also known as a con game, con, scam, grift, hustle, bunko, bunco, swindle, flimflam, gaffle, or bamboozle. The intended victims are known as marks. The perpetrator of a confidence trick is often referred to as a confidence man or woman, con man or woman, con artist or grifter. When accomplices are employed, they are known as shills. Confidence tricks exploit typical human characteristics such as greed, dishonesty, vanity, honesty, compassion, credulity, irresponsibility, desperation and naïveté. As such, there is no consistent profile of a confidence trick victim; the common factor is simply that the victim relies on the good faith of the con artist. Victims of investment scams tend to show an incautious level of greed and gullibility, and many con artists target the elderly, but even alert and educated people may be taken in by other forms of confidence trick.[2]

Shills, also known as accomplices, help manipulate the mark into accepting the con man's plan. In a traditional confidence trick, the mark is led to believe that he will be able to win money or some other prize by doing some task. The accomplices may pretend to be strangers who have benefited from performing the task in the past.

A greedy or dishonest mark may attempt to out-cheat the con artist, only to discover that he or she has been manipulated into losing from the very beginning.


Now that the education bit is over, I will tell you about a time when a good friend almost got scammed, the only reason she escaped it was because the scammer mentioned church. He should have stuck to worldly promises...Like getting her a rich husband that would carry her round the world!

No, not that church cleared her eyes....Church made her loose interest in the scam.

It was early morning, She was sent to buy bread for breakfast. Met some men dressed in suits, in a not very great looking car. They said they came from America to minister in Nigeria and couldn't find the location of the church, heck, didn't know the church. The
next second another guy (shills) stopped and exclaimed that he had seen them on tv and told them where the church was. The same man told her they were great men of God who heal and perform miracles. They said they wanted to pray for all of them in the car as a way of thanks for assisting them but felt she (my friend) would be to embarrassed to kneel on the road in the street, so this shills (as defined above) the passing man, said he knew a place. My friend said she would prefer something like a present, they looked at her with shock. Well she waited for the present. They told her she needed prayers more becuase her fathers relatives were trying to kill her and would that in 7 days time. The mad woman (my friend) told them to wait so she can call her daddy as he needed to hear about his people. As soon as she brought out her cell, the passing man jumped into the car and they sped off.

How low can these people go!
Ever experienced a confidence trick? Please share :))

Have a great one!

p.s: The picture has nothing to do with the post o but then when have they ever!! matched?

Wednesday, 1 August 2012

HOW ESE GOT HIS GROOVE BACK *must read*



My name is Ese.

I’m a typical Nigerian guy and I cherish my Fridays a lot; I get to hang out with the sickest guys every Friday night and secondly, It’s another escape from my nagging and boring wife. I get confused sometimes on whether she’s my mother or my wife. Don’t get it twisted; I love her pieces. It just gets complicated; like I wish we never got married…marriage has turned her into something that doesn’t amuse me. I wish she was still the adventurous, charming, high spirited lady I dated for five years.

A lot of people say its unethical for married guys to be found in a club, but I wish everyone won’t be too quick to judge and understand that people look for fun to run away from their problems; they just want to breathe, like me.

I forgot to say that I work in Guarantee Trust Bank along Lekki, I love my job and my job loves me, maybe its because I’m the senior banking officer. Lol. This particular morning, a lady breezed into my office. My heart raced faster because I had not sighted anything this beautiful in a long while. She wasn’t the typical slender Barbie, in fact, she was a bit chubby but her smile, cuteness and…I was tripped.

“Hi Good morning! Your ATM has swallowed my card!” She laughed, unlike a typical customer that would ram you.

I just tried to form Boss laughter…

“Good morning, You know what? I’d personally make sure they get it out for you, but not today. Can you wait till Monday?” I smiled

“GTB shaaa! OK, can I just drop my number so you could call me up or just text when its ready so I don’t come twice? Please? My name is Nancy” She blinked her eyes in a funny way.

“Sure” I smiled

We exchanged numbers. What a lucky Friday!

So it was 10:00pm and I headed to the club…as usual my friends were chilling for me. My wife had called a couple of times, I just ignored it. She knows I’m never home Friday nights.

“Look at you!” I heard someone say. I raised my head and it was the ATM lady-Nancy.

“Wow, look at you too!” I was surprised to see her but I was happy I didn’t have to wait till Monday to see her again.

“Happy Friday!” She screamed because of the noise, “Wanna dance?”

I didn’t even have the chance to answer, she already pulled me to dance floor. I really suck at dancing but she helped me; she was a great dancer! I had fun! At some point we decided to go to a private area and we talked, ranging from work, business to personal life. I tried to hide my ring as much as possible, I certainly didn’t want this to end now.

“You are a really wonderful lady. You are so interesting…any guy would want to be with you all day” I said.

“I wasn’t always like this but I have learned the hard way that life is just too short to be sad” she sang

Then her phone rang…

“Hey baby! Yeah I’m at the private lounge, I’d like you to meet someone…alright boo” she talked excitedly as usual.

I was in shock until this tall handsome man walks up to her and kisses her.

“You were late. Meet Ese; I met him this morning, he’s helping with your ATM I told you got swallowed and Ese this is my B to the O-O,” she laughed “Meet my husband Kolade, we only come here to dance every fortnight Friday; away from work, stress and kids.”

“Wow, a pleasure” I managed to shake him

Then she stood now excitedly holding her husband’s arms.

“Why don’t we invite Dayo for Mimi’s 16th birthday tomorrow?” Her husband said

They have kids too? How long have they been married and they look like a couple just dating!

“Silly me, please come for my second daughter’s 16th tomorrow. It would be an honor” She brought out an I.V from her purse.

I began to feel so ashamed of myself…this was another guy like me, getting it right with one woman.

I collected the I.V and promised to be there.

“See you tomorrow! Have you had something to eat Kolade?” she talked and dragged her husband along.

They left and I kept staring at the thin air like I had seen a ghost. They come just to dance together every fortnight Fridays? Why didn’t I think of that! Temi loves to dance…she also likes long walks, she loves to talk…she loves jazz music, there’s this vivid picture I have of me putting her hand on my chest when we danced at a jazz club on our first year anniversary…I found myself typing all the things I knew Temi loved to do on my I pad and I realized I had denied her of all…I had made her the old woman she acts.

What the hell was I doing here! I didn’t even tell my friends goodbye, I walked out of the club into my Jaguar. Temi’s call came through and I picked at first ring.

“Temi?” My heart raced

“I know you are not coming home…”

“I am, stay up so we can gist. Been a while” I decided to do everything on that list and to even add many more for the rest of my lifetime with her.

“Are you alright?” She was shocked I suppose

“And I’d like us to go for a birthday party tomorrow. I want you to meet this amazing couple”

“You sound different Ese”

“Maybe I’m different”

“Don’t say it! don’t say it! when you come we will gist very well” she laughed
She laughed!!! In just that laughter that I hadn’t heard in a while, she sounded like the lady I married six years ago…

Dear reader,

I wrote this natural piece just to remind us that creating memorable moments with our partner matters. Do you know that little things are the sweetest things? Just creating time to gist and laugh with your partner, having a day in the week that’s exclusively for you both-No friends or kids allowed.

Lady, when last have you told your partner he is so darn hot? Guy! When last have you told your lady she is the sweetest thing? When last have you whispered ‘Thank you’? When last have you been quick to say ‘I’m sorry’?

Do you even have a clue on what your partner loves to do?
When you ignore little things, they are the little pieces of rocks that build up to become a mountain you can’t easily break down.

Pay attention to little things, believe that they work and experience new bliss!

Good luck lovers!! Have a blessed, fab August everyone, I appreciate and love! xx
Mena

Wednesday, 18 July 2012

LIFE'S CHOICE (THE END)



Hi, Please click for life's choice 1, life's choice 2, life's choice 3-4 life's choice 5 life's choice 6 for the earlier stories on Love Under Water by Femi Job

Enjoyyy ;)



THE PHONE RANG.



Funmi woke up suddenly. At first she didn’t even know where she was, until she realized that she was in her room. The phone was still screaming out for attention, and so she reached for it.




Funmi: Hello…..Tayo.




Tayo: Hey, as I was saying before – I think you should move in with Wale – that is the only REAL advice that I can give you. I know that you love him and he loves you. Lola is talking nonsense about you getting pregnant for Wale…it’s not time for that yet. Dupe is talking nonsense about you dumping Wale – she doesn’t want you to be happy and she’s trying to make you sabotage your relationship. Lola’s and Dupe’s views are both extremist views, mine is more realistic and straightforward.



.



Funmi: Thank you so much Tayo, I will think deeply about what you said. OK.



They exchanged pleasantries and the call ended. Funmi looked at her wristwatch – the time was 4’48pm – she had taken a nap. She dialed a number.




Akin: hello?




Funmi: Hello, Akin, how are you? I do hope all’s well?




Akin: Funmi, I am good. Thank you.



.



Funmi: Akin, I want to ask you a serious question and I want you to be very honest with me.



.



Akin: OK, shoot!



.



Funmi: Does Wale have any terminal cancer? Is he dying of a disease that I do not know of?



.



Akin (pauses): NO! Wale doesn’t have any terminal cancer and is not dying of any disease. Why would you think such a thing? Those are very morbid thoughts, you know?



.



Funmi: Akin, please tell me the truth.



.



Akin: I am telling you the truth – Wale is not dying of any disease…Why? Did someone tell you that he was dying?



.



Funmi: NO…I guess I am just worried. He still hasn’t proposed to me – and I think that maybe he hasn’t done so because he is dying.



.



Akin: He is FINE. My advice for you is this – you propose to him. I read somewhere that love speaks from the heart. If you want to be with someone you love, you lay your heart bare before the one you love. I can imagine that your friends may have given you advise from a lady’s perspective – as for me, I say you surprise him and propose to him.



.



Funmi: Akin, you wouldn’t lie to me right? If Wale was dying, you would tell me right?



.



Akin: If Wale was dying, I would tell you…but be rest assured that he is not. How is Tayo by the way?



.



Funmi: Tayo is fine – I just spoke to her a few minutes ago.



.



Akin: I miss her a lot, you know. Ever since we broke up, I have been like a vagrant – wandering this jungle alone. I want to tell her to forgive me, but I know that I am beyond redemption. (pauses) Do you know if she will ever forgive me?



.



Funmi: I don’t know the answer to that question – but I hope she does forgive you. You guys were so perfect together.



.



Akin: NO we were not, or else we would still be together – forever. (pauses) we could never be as perfect as you and Wale are.



.



They exchanged pleasantries and the phone call ended. Funmi called Wale.



.



Wale: Funmi darling, my sweetie, my lover, my friend, my companion, Ololufe mi, the one who makes my heart beat faster - the one and only lady in the world who can make me happy. …..How are you?



.



Funmi: Wale, sweetie pie, I am fine. I wanted to call you to discuss something, is this a good time?



.



Wale: This is not a good time. I am in the middle of a business meeting. I will call you back in about an hour. LOVE you!



.



Funmi: Love you too.



.



Wale hung up the phone.



.



Funmi was quiet for a while. Earlier today, she had asked all her friends – Tayo, Lola, Dupe – for what to do regarding Wale (he hadnt proposed to her yet). The meeting didn’t go well because Dupe and Tayo had a fight. She had come home, taken a shower, and then a nap – and then she had the strangest dream.





She dreamt that Tayo was sleeping with Wale and that he was dying of terminal cancer – oh, it was Akin who told her that – this was why she called him just now. In the dream, it was as if she was an outsider observing everyone and herself. She dreamt that Lola’s baby was Wale’s. She dreamt that she (Funmi) proposed to Wale (and he said yes). She dreamt that Dupe was having an affair with Wale? Well, it’s just a dream. She was going to play a game. She picked up the phone and called Lola.



.



Lola: Funmi, HI!



.



Funmi: (deliberately raising her voice)When were you going to tell me that Wale is the father of your child?



.



Lola was very quiet – very quiet. It was as if her voice had vanished into oblivion. And then she spoke.



.



Lola: I am so sorry Funmi. I didn’t mean to hurt you like this.





(THE END)

Copyright* – Femi Job
PHOTOS from Part 1-end googleimages

Sunday, 1 July 2012

LIFE'S CHOICE (6)







Hi, Please click for life's choice 1, life's choice 2, life's choice 3-4 life's choice 5 for the earlier stories on Love Under Water by Femi Job

Enjoyyy ;)



This story is about to end. It will end in the next episode. This episode and the next one are as important as the ones that came before, perhaps even moreso. Before I go on, I want to summarize the salient points that we took in in all the previous episodes.



We have already met the ladies, we determined that Funmi (age 36) wanted to marry her boyfriend of 5 years (Wale) and was seeking advice from her friends on what to do. Lola advised her to get pregnant and use that to trigger marriage, Dupe advised her to dump her boyfriend and move on. Tayo advised her to stay the course and move in. We find out later that Tayo is sleeping with Wale.

.

We find out that Tayo is pregnant, but we don’t know who the father of the baby is. We find out that Lola is lying to her husband (Yomi) about the real father of her child (and Akin – Tayo’s ex – knows about this lie). We learn that Funmi proposed to Wale (and not the other way round), but we are happy for her at least. We understand also why Tayo broke up with Akin (she was pregnant for him and he had no respect for her unborn child). We are shocked to discover also that Lola still fantasizes about Wale. We realize that Chigozie (Dupe’s husband) and Tayo are involved in a lascivious affair. Akin has something very important to say to Funmi but hasn’t said it yet.

.

Yomi just found out that Lola has been lying to him – he is not the Abeke’s father. Chigozie feels bad after his rendezvous with Tayo and wants to make amends with his wife Dupe. And then the shocker – Dupe is sleeping with Wale. we read about Abeke having seizures in the hospital where she was abandoned by Yomi. Yomi contemplates killing his wife but decides to be mature about things and instead engages her in a conversation in which he lets her know that her game is up. There is a minor scuffle and Lola pushes him such that he becomes unconscious and unresponsive. Lola panics and calls Akin. She tells him Yomi is unconscious but she lies about what really transpired between Yomi and herself to lead to such an outcome. Akin gives her medical advice and is on his way to her – he still hasn’t told Funmi what he wants to tell her (something really important). Meanwhile, Wale is assisting Dupe with physical exercises to keep in shape. After the workout, she tells him she is pregnant for him and he brushes her off. She MUST sleep with her husband quickly and push the illegitimate child on him or else wahala dey. When she gets home she quickly tries to do this (as does her husband for other reasons).




By now, people are wondering about some new information that I have summarized above that they seem to have missed when they read the episodes preceding this one. For example, when did I write that Tayo was pregnant? You have to go back to the appropriate episodes to find the new information – I added some information to EVERY episode. You may have to read the episodes again. This does 3 things – it gets you up to date on information, it refreshes your memory (it’s been 2 weeks since the last episode), it prepares you for this episode and the next one (the final one). YES, I know it can be a hassle to go back and read, especially when you are anxious to see things unfold, but you MUST.



NOW, let me tell you how this story will NOT end. It won’t end with Yomi dying and Lola becoming a widow running after Wale for child support. It won’t end with Dupe losing 100 lbs. it won’t end with a showdown ‘fight’ between Dupe and Tayo. It won’t end with Akin getting back together with Tayo. BUT it will end abruptly – I want you to mentally prepare for this. You may be used to happy, predictable endings, but I can assure you this is not going to be that. Those of you that are already familiar with how I write know that it would be a futile exercise to try to predict where I am going with this story. The story is unpredictable even for me, how much more for you


We will start this episode by asking ‘what does Akin want to tell Funmi?’.

Funmi and Akin were in Akin’s car – Akin was driving. He was going to Lola’s place and when he told Funmi all that had happened, she stopped what she was doing and tagged along so that she could be of some help. Lola was one of her best friends.


Funmi: Akin, what did you want to tell me that is so important?



.



Akin (pauses, takes deep breath): It’s about Wale..



.



Funmi; What is it about Wale?



.



Akin: Wale is dying. He has terminal cancer. The cancer started 5 years ago but it has progressed till its final stage. We were managing it, but all treatment options have failed. Funmi, Wale has only about 3 months to live.



.



Funmi (sobbing) Oh my GOD, WHY….why didn’t I know this. Why didn’t anybody tell me until now?



.



Akin: Wale forbade me to tell you, and still does. I am telling you this because after you proposed to him, I thought it would only be fair that you know. He plans to tell you but only when he is dead. I am not supposed to tell you. First as his doctor we have doctor-patient confidentiality. Second, I had to keep this secret - as his best friend. 5 years ago, just before he met you the prognosis was even bleaker. All the experts estimated then that he had just about 2 years to live. This is why he never proposed to you - he didn’t want you to be the lady that was engaged to a man who died. He actually wanted to spare you the grief – he hoped that if he postponed the engagement long enough, he would die before your life was turned into misery.

.

YES, I know he told you that he wanted to make money etc, but he has money already. His uncle – Chief Ajao – helps him to manage a lot of money. A significant amount of money has gone into managing his cancer. He thought he would be dead 3 years ago and now you are planning the wedding of a man who would be dead in 3 months. YES, you could ask – we gave him 2 years – he lived 5, we give him 3 moths, he could live more. But this is the end for him. The cancer has undergone metastasis. It is already in his brain.



.



What Akin wasn’t telling Funmi was that Wale has prostate cancer and that one of the medical interventions to battle the cancer was to administer testosterone to him. However, for Wale, implanting testosterone caused a very high libido and increased sexual activity. Wale was sleeping around because of the high testosterone. If he didn’t have sex, depression would set in – in other words, he was using ‘sex therapy’ to combat depression. Another reason he was sleeping around, he had once confided in Akin, was that he wanted to feel deep intimacy and pleasure before he died. NOW, Akin couldn’t tell Funmi that Wale was very ‘promiscuous-for-medical-reasons’ – how do you tell someone that. Akin had performed some abortions on some women that Wale impregnated.



.



Funmi: that is so selfish of him. Everytime I pushed him for marriage, he would just simply dodge the issue when all he needed to do was to tell me that he was sick and dying. I spent the last 5 years putting pressure on him for marriage instead of helping him face his disease. (pauses). Which kind of woman am I? (crying profusely) Which kind of woman does not notice that her man is dying? Am I not in tune with him?



.



Akin: Don’t cry Funmi. He wanted to tell you on more than one occasion, but he didn’t want to ruin your joy. I guess he was afraid to allow you to face the fear that he faces every day. He wants you always to remember him as a very strong man – not a man struggling to cling on to life as it flows away beyond reach.



.



By now they had reached the street that led to the estate (gated community) that was Lola’s home. They turned right by the red gate, then they turned left at the third left turn. Both Funmi and Akin were quiet. One more turn to the right at the junction, Akin thought. And then they were there. The ambulance hadn’t arrived yet. Akin and Funmi got out of the car and went into the house. Akin was running, Funmi was walking very slowly – she would fall if she ran.



.



.



The Viagra wasn’t working. They had been doing foreplay for a very long time and yet Chigozie wasn’t ‘ready’. Dupe was doing all her best, but nothing seemed to be turning her husband on.



.



Dupe: work it now….work it! 30 minutes have passed and you are still not ‘ready’ for action. Do you have any medicine you can use?



.



Chigozie: Yes, let me go and take my Viagra. Please do not be upset with me.



.



Chigozie got offthe bed and ran to the drug cabinet (in the bathroom). He knew he needed action so he swallowed 6 pills of Viagra. He had already taken 4 pills before Dupe came home. Now he was on 10 pills straight. He ran back into the room and again told his wife not to worry – that the man will ‘rise up to take Zion’. And then it happened – suddenly the room became dark.



.



Chigozie; Dupe, did you put off the light?



.



Dupe: No, please be quick and let us do this thing o…



.



Chigozie: I can not see anything o. I think I am blind. I think I overdosed o. I read the label before, they said Viagra can cause blindness. (begins to scream).



.



.



Tayo was lying next to Wale on the bed. They didn’t have sex today, they just laid there. There was a silence so profound in the room – the type of silence that happens between lovers.



.



Wale (hoarse voice): I have just about 3 months left Tayo. I am almost at the end. want you to be prepared for me not coming here again. I know I have never said this to you before but I want to say ‘I love you’.



.



Tayo: I know you do. I love you too.. But please don’t speak about that right now. Let us just enjoy every moment we have to share. (pauses) I am pregnant – I do hope it’s yours – you know - someone to remember you by even after you are (she paused here and began to cry).



.



Wale held her very close and rocked her while singing a Christian song. He knew that of all the people that he knew, Tayo would miss him the most. They had intimacy and pleasure. She was the best person in bed that he knew. He knew she had other lovers, but he wasn’t jealous. She knew he had other lovers too, but she wasn’t jealous too. In many ways, they were like a secret couple – they could do everything in the confines of the bedroom, but outside they were merely friends. Tayo was one of the best friends to his fiancée and he was the fiancé of one of her best friends. But beyond the descriptions of friendship and acquaintanceship, wale and Tayo were lovers in the true sense of the word. Tayo was so vulnerable, he thought. She was sobbing so painfully, and then the tears started falling down Wale’s cheeks. He was not normally one to cry, but right now he was crying like a baby. He felt so lonely. Like water falls over the edge of the waterfall, he felt himself about to fall over the edge of life



(FINAL EPISODE COMING UP).


.

Sunday, 24 June 2012

THINGS THAT GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT


*Alleged* true article I saw online of an encounter....DO NOT READ ALONE IN THE DARK ;)


Before I begin let me give you a quick rundown of my background before this series of events.

I was a typical rebellious teenager, kicked out of my parents house at the age of 17. At that time my life was at a low point. A friend and I began researching local legends and the paranormal out of boredom really. Nothing real exciting, lost graveyard exploring in the middle of the night, ouija board, and mostly just a strong interest in the occult. We did experience a few scary events, but the overall feeling that we had opened ourselves up to something horrible is what scared us the most. In particular, I remember the feeling of being vulnerable and the feeling like there was something terrible out there and it knew who I was.

FYI, I decided to tell my story this morning because I woke up thinking about this experience and I think I'm only now truly understanding what it was.

At the time of my experiences I was married to my ex-wife and we had two very young children together.

Here we go, the first night of my series of experience went something like this......I was up late on my computer. At the time I was still in college taking some online classes. My computer desk was situated in my bedroom on the opposite wall of the doorway. So, if you were to sit at my computer, your back would face the doorway into my room. It had to have been after midnight, perhaps much later. I was the only soul awake in our apartment, the lights were off, and the only sounds in the home were of my fingers punching the keys on my keyboard. Suddenly, a child's voice came from directly behind me. "Daddy." It was loud, and scared me half to death. I whipped around expecting to see that one of my little ones had gotten out of bed, but there was noone there. I couldn't believe it. Clearly I had heard something. It was plain as day. I hurried into my kids room and there they were. Both of them sound asleep in their beds.

The next morning I told my Mary (ex-wife) about what had happened. She quickly told me I must have been tired and should have gone to bed earlier. I also had entertained that exhaustion must have been the culprit. I went about my day having for the most part let go of the idea.

A few nights later I heard a loud band on either the front door or a wall in the living room. It wasn't like someone's knuckles making the tell-tale sounds of a knock, more like a bang. We lived in an old apartment complex on the edge of a vast field on the edge of town. Our apartment was on the bottom floor with a vacant floor above us. There was no lighting other than a small porch light which always made us nervous coming home at night because it would have been the perfect ambush spot for a robber. So, hearing the bang in the living room was a sure sign that someone was trying to break-in. I grabbed my shotgun, woke up Mary, and she had her cell phone ready to call the police as I checked out the apartment. There was noone at the front door. The kids were sound asleep, we went to bed.

A few nights later, having put the events behind me I had gone to bed. I awoke in the middle of the night hearing something...I put the shotgun next to the bed.

The next evening Mary, the kids, and I had made a pallet on the floor in the living room and were watching a movie as a family. Mary was laying in front of me and was sound asleep halfway through the movie. At one point I rolled over to see the kids had fallen asleep on the pallet between me and the couch. Towards the end of the movie I heard a commotion in my children's room. It was the sounds of movement-activated toys that begin playing songs and sounds when you shake them or bump them. Immediately, I realized that my two year old must have gotten up from behind me and wandered into his room to play. A smile came to my face with the thought. Suddenly, a dark shape darted across the living room, into my room, from the kid's room. I rolled over, both kids sound asleep. This whole incident from the toy sounds, to the shape darting across the room, to my realization that it wasn't one of my children, occured in just a few seconds. Again, I investigated. Tonight the kids would sleep in my bedroom floor on a pallet of blankets.

At this point, Mary still doesn't believe me so I tell my younger brother who isn't sure what to believe. He decides to come spend the night at my house. I am sound asleep when I wake up to someone knocking on my bedroom door. It's my brother. I open my door, he just wanted to let me know that one of my kid's is awake and wandering the apartment and it woke him up. Confused, I asked what he was talking about? He replied that one of my kids was saying, "Daddy" and it woke him up, and I needed to check on my kids. The problem was that my kids were safe and sound and asleep on a pallet in my floor. They had fallen asleep in my bedroom watching tv earlier in the evening and we kept them in the room so my brother could sleep in their room.

Now I have someone that believes me. Over the next few weeks more things happen. Strange things. One afternoon I emerged from my room to find that my daughter was asleep in the sink in the kids bathroom? Somewhere I have a picture of it. Probably on the hard drive of my old PC that crashed. Another evening I came home from work to find Mary asleep in our bedroom and my daughter asleep on the kitchen tabletop? Also, by this time the kids no longer slept in their room, and I had developed a fear of going into the children't bathroom. I was especially scared to look into that bathroom mirror.

One night, I woke up hearing something at my bedroom door. My doorknob was turning, I could see it plain as day. Thankfully, it was locked. Same story, the kids were asleep in the floor on a mountain of blankets and pillows, Mary was asleep, and I'm grabbing for the shotgun. I woke up Mary, who at this point she just rolls her eyes in disbelief. As I grab the still door-knob it twists in my hand. Obviously, this scared the sh#& out of me. A few minutes later I get the courage to have Mary rip the door open with my shotgun trained on the door opening. Nothing there but the blackness of the living room.

I should explain that through this entire event our marraige had been deteriorating. There were fights, yelling, arguing between us. Also, my curiosity of these events led me to think about it a lot. I was back to researching similar stories on the internet. I also found myself watching a lot of horror movies, it was like that was all I wanted to do. I was truly terrifiyed by the situation I was in, my marriage was dissolving, but horror movies seemed like a good idea.

She spoke with a chaplain at the Air Force base that she worked at. He mentioned a simalar story that he had dealt with before. He specifically asked if we were dabling in the occult or watching horror movies. He also specifically asked if there was much anger in the home, and if our relationship was struggling. He told her the child's voice I was hearing saying "Daddy" was no child, but an imposter posing as a child.

Now she was also scared.

The fighting continued as we continued to fall apart. I began finding reasons to leave home.

The last occurance happened one evening as I was leaving to go meet my brother to do some fishing. I left the apartment and began walking to my truck. I had the urge to turn around as if someone was following me. In the window of the second story apartment above our I saw something....It was the face. It was utterly horrifying. It was staring right at me and it had a smile on it face. I can only describe it as an ashen face, or like a really dark face that had appeared to have a white make-up on. Minimal, or no lips with a mouth full of crooked teeth. If you have seen the movie 'the exorcist' the it would be similar to the face that appears briefly on the wall of one of the rooms when they turn the lights off. I tried to explain it away at first, but the apartment was vacant. The face turned as I walked backwards towards my truck, following my movement. It was clearly watching me with its creepy smile. I got in my truck and did a once around the block drive. I came back home and it was no longer in the window.

I'm not sure why that apartment above us was always vacant. At one point there were people living there...briefly. They were constantly screaming and arguing.

Anyway, we got a divorce. Life has moved on. I have had more scary experience sorta follow me wherever I go. I could go on for days...lol.

Anyways...believe me or don't. I don't really care. It happened to me, and it happens to many people. There were many other things that occured to me during this time. I only stated the parts that were still vivid enough to give an account in detail. However, I remember the entire few months in my life as living in fear.....

LTL

P.S: The Ouija board has long since been destroyed. As a matter of fact it was home-made by some friends of mine, and I. It was something we played around with prior to my demonic encounters. I believe that I made myself a target so to speak by using it. Or, I opened a doorway that allowed them to get at me. This was several years ago, We have all since moved on....

I think if you go looking for something the ways that I did then you will find them...or they will find you

Wednesday, 13 June 2012

LIFE'S CHOICE (5)





Hi, Please click for life's choice 1, life's choice 2, life's choice 3-4 for the earlier stories on Love Under Water by Femi Job

Enjoyyy ;)



The baby started having very severe seizures. One of the nurses was speaking in tongues and casting and binding the demon of epilepsy while the other nurse was looking for a spoon to push into the baby’s mouth. As the nurses gathered round the spectacle, only one nurse had the chutzpah to call the doctor. The doctor came and observed that this was a tonic–clonic seizure – a type of generalized seizure that affects the entire brain. He quickly ordered the nurses to insert intravenous lines, and he administered a dose of phenobarbitone. Then the seizures stopped. Abeke seemed to be in deep sleep.

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Doctor: Where is this child’s father?

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Nurse #1: He already left. He was angry when he left. He left after seeing you. Which kind of man leaves a child in a hospital and just leaves? O ma ga o (translation – it is tall….no…it is serious)

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Doctor; Oh, Mr Yomi Onikoyi…do you have his number? You have to call him to let him know that his daughter is still here and she needs medical intervention.

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Yomi was calm now. His phone was ringing, but he didn’t pick it. He had thought of many things on his way. He wondered, for instance, how he would get some acid from his car battery – he was thinking of pouring this on his wife’s body. He wondered also, where he could get a very sharp machete to hack her to pieces. Perhaps, he thought, he would just strangle her. But by the time he reached home, he was exhausted from ‘thinking’. He entered the house. Lola greeted him, smiling, as he came in.

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Lola: Where is Abeke?

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Yomi: She is at the hospital.

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Lola: Which hospital? Was she admitted?

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Yomi: I don’t know if she was admitted or not, but she is at the hospital?

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Lola (panicking, raising her voice): Which hospital? Which hospital?

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Yomi: I can’t remember the name of the hospital. I think the name starts with ‘M’.

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Lola: You left our daughter in a hospital and you can’t remember the name? ARE YOU MAD?

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Yomi: Our daughter? I didn’t leave my daughter in any hospital o. I don’t have any daughter. I left a bastard in a hospital that I do not care to remember.

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At his outburst, Lola stopped. She wondered why he was suddenly hostile to Abeke, and then she suspected that he knows the truth. BUT she had to be sure that he knew.

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Lola: I don’t know what you are talking about.

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Yomi; Liar! Whore! Harlot! Prostitute! You think I do not know that I am not Abeke’s father? Do I look like a total fool to you? àsírí ti tú (translation – the secret is out).

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Lola (begins to cry): I was going to tell you but I didn’t know how to. I was raped. I am a victim here.

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Yomi: haaa! O ti tún bère iró (translation – you have started another concoction of lies). If you were raped, why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you tell me before we married. If I remember correctly, you came to meet me and told me that you were pregnant for me, and then I did the right thing and married you.

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Lola: If I told you I was raped, I was afraid that you wouldn’t marry me again.

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Yomi: But you continued lying. You falsified Abeke’s genotype to keep me in the dark about your evil scheme. Anyway, mo ti so tè mi (translation – I have said my own). I want you out of this house within the next one hour. Go and pack all your things, and all the things of your bastard too. I will leave now and come back in one hour. I will come back with a machete and with acid. If I find you here, I will hack you to pieces and burn you with acid. Is that clear?

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Lola looked into his eyes as he said this, and she could see nothing but cold detachment. It was then that she realized that he was serious. She got on her knees and started crying and pleading with him. But he would have none of it. When she realized he wasn’t going to forgive her, she stopped pleading.

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Lola: I will go. But tell me which hospital you left my daughter in. I have to know where my daughter is.

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Yomi ignored her and made for the door to leave the house. She followed him and stopped in his path. She again demanded to know where her daughter was. He pushed her away and continued walking, she recovered and pushed back. She pushed a little too hard. He hit his head hard against the wall and slumped on the ground and was unconscious. She thought she had killed him and tried to rouse him, but he was unconscious. She tried to listen for a heartbeat and feel for a pulse but there were none. Had she killed him? She was in trouble. She had to call for help – the only name that came into her head was Akin. She decided she would lie to him that her husband suffered a heart attack and then tell him the truth when he came by. She picked up the phone and dialed Akin’s number. As the phone was ringing, she was muttering under her breath the same words over and over again.

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ABEKE, where are you?

(fade)

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Akin: There is something I want to tell you…..

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But just then the phone rang and it was Wale. Funmi excused herself and walked some distance away to engage in some intimate talk. Akin watched her walk away and shook his head. She noticed that he did this and filed it away in her mind to ask him later why he did. The phone call lasted for about 20 minutes and she came back to the table.

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Funmi: sorry, it was my sweetheart who called. So you wanted to tell me something?

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Just then the phone rang again – it was Dupe. Funmi and Dupe talked for just a little bit. The conversation wasn’t very pleasant. As Funmi was talking with Dupe, Akin’s phone rang - it was Lola.

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Lola (screaming): Please help me!

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Akin: Omolola, what is it?

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Lola: It’s my husband o…I think he’s dead. He’s not moving!

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Akin: Calm down, take deep breaths. Tell me what happened!

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Lola: He came back to the house, and we had a very intense argument. He was screaming when he suddenly held his chest in pain and dropped to the floor. I have been trying to wake him up. You are the only doctor I know. Please help me.

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Akin: I think he may have had a heart attack. I will send the ambulance to your house right away. Please stay on the line.

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Akin kept her on hold, while he made another call. Funmi had already angrily ‘cut’ the phone connection with Dupe and she could see from Akin’s tone that the phone call was of a very serious nature and so she was silent. Akin kept the ambulance service on hold, while he switched back to Lola.

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Akin: Lola, the ambulance is on its way. Now, listen carefully to me, I want you to do the following - lie Yomi on his back, check that nothing is obstructing his airways , listen for his breathing - listen with your ear just over his mouth for breathing…Is he breathing?

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NO RESPONSE.

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Wale rolled off Dupe. He had just had a series of convulsive shudders that signaled the end of this ‘exercise regimen’. Dupe called them her exercise regimen and Wale was ‘helping’ her to try to lose weight. Dupe had already fallen off the cliff more than once within this ‘session’ – 3 times actually. It was always ‘multiples’ with Wale. And now, they were both lying down on the bed in the hotel room. YES, they had just had an intense ‘workout’ schedule – Dupe had read somewhere that intense sexual activity helped to burn calories. Dupe passed the cigarette to Wale and he took a puff. He started humming a popular christian song.

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Dupe: Wale, I haven’t seen my period!

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Wale: What does that matter to me?

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Dupe: It means that I may be pregnant!

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Wale: That’s good right? You know what to do – if you want it you keep it, if you don’t want it, you lose it….very simple! End of discussion!

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Dupe: Is that all you have to say?

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Wale: What do you want me to say? That I am very happy? You want me to get up and start dancing? Normally I use protection when I have sex; it was you who insisted you wanted it ‘raw and natural’. So (pauses), it is your fault you got pregnant, not mine!

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Dupe: I just told you that I may be carrying your child and you are talking about abortion?

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Wale: OK, what do you want me to say? OK, no abortion. You can go home and sleep with your husband and tell him that he is about to become a father.

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Dupe: But he will know – we haven’t had sex in a very long time.

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Wale: Then you have to ‘force’ him, you are a woman aren't you? Use your 'persuasive' skills and your body. That is the only way that you can cover up your adultery. You are guilty of adultery, not me. I am not married yet - so I am not guilty of any adultery. You are the wife of a deacon, not me! And right now, (you), you are in a hotel room with another man. You have defiled your matrimonial bed. You are a very 'nasty' woman. Exodus 20:14 says that ‘you shall not commit adultery’. So my advice is simple – go home when you leave here, and ‘do’ your husband and when the pregnancy starts to show, tell him that it is his own…or else ‘remove it’. I can get my friend Akin to help you remove it discreetly if you want.

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Dupe: If I am nasty, what are you?

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Wale: I am just a man trying to help you lose weight -- out of concern for your health and out of the goodness of my heart.

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Dupe was silent. She wasn’t talking anymore. She was thinking of how she was going to get her husband to make love to her tonight.

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Chigozie still felt bad. He was going to try to be nice to his wife tonight to serve as expiation for his peccadilloes. He needed to atone. He placed the bible over his heart and then over his loins and started to speak in tongues.

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Chigozie (praying inwardly): GOD help me. SAVE me from that woman. I bind and I cast Tayo into the lake of fire in Jesus’ name!

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But he wasn’t praying with conviction. He was still remembering how Tayo had ravaged his body and his body was responding. His trouser was swollen and he used his bible to cover it again. Oh, Dupe would get home soon, he must be ready. Chigozie quickly took viagra - medicine that would make him 'potent' when his wife was around - he normally wasn't responsive to her. Thirty minutes later, Dupe came home.

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Chigozie: Modupe, welcome home. Where have you been?

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Dupe: I was at the gym, working out, trying to lose some weight so that you can notice me again, my dear husband. I miss you so much (starts crying).

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Chigozie (embraces Dupe) Stop crying! I miss you too.

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They were in very close proximity and their bodies were touching. Dupe kissed him, almost tentatively. Chigozie did not resist. They locked their lips in a ‘french kiss’ for what seemed like a long minute and then Chigozie tried to carry her, but he couldn’t – she was too heavy – and so, he led her by the hand to the bedroom.

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It was time for atonement, he thought, time to do the right thing. It was time for sex, she thought, and if she was already pregnant, it was time for her to give her baby a father.
Please click for life's choice (6)

Tuesday, 12 June 2012

HEALTH TIP: ~~DRINK WATER ON EMPTY STOMACH~~

;It is popular in Japan today to drink water immediately after waking up every morning. Further more, scientific tests have proven its value.We publish below a description of use of water for our readers. For old and serious diseases as well as modern illnesses the water treatment had been found successful by a Japanese medical society as a 100% cure for the following diseases: Headache, body ache, heart system, arthritis, fast heart beat, epilepsy, excess fatness, bronchitis asthma, TB, meningitis, kidney and urine diseases,vomiting, gastritis, diarrhea, piles, diabetes, constipation, all eye diseases, womb, cancer and menstrual disorders, ear nose and throat diseases.

METHOD OF TREATMENT 1. As you wake up in the morning before brushing teeth, drink 4 x 160ml glasses of water
2. Brush and clean the mouth but do not eat or drink anything for 45 minute
3.. After 45 minutes you may eat and drink as normal.
4. After 15 minutes of breakfast, lunch and dinner do not eat or drink anything for 2 hours
5. Those who are old or sick and are unable to drink 4 glasses of water at the beginning may commence by taking little water and gradually increase it to 4 glasses per day.
6. The above method of treatment will cure diseases of the sick and others can enjoy a healthy life. The following list gives the number of days of treatment required to cure/control/reduce main diseases: 1. High Blood Pressure (30 days) 2. Gastric (10 days) 3. Diabetes (30 days) 4. Constipation (10 days) 5. Cancer (180 days) 6. TB (90 days) 7. Arthritis patients should follow the above treatment only for 3 days in the 1st week, and from 2nd week onwards – daily
..


This treatment method has no side effects,however at the commencement of treatment you may have to urinate a few times. It is better if we continue this and make this procedure as a routine work in our life. Drink Water and Stay healthy and Active. This makes sense .. The Chinese and Japanese drink hot tea with their meals not cold water. May be it is time we adopt their drinking habit while eating!!! Nothing to lose, everything to gain... For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you. It is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion. Once this 'sludge' reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine.Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.

A serious note about heart attacks: ·Women should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting, · Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line. · You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack. · Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms. · 60% of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleeLet's be careful and be aware. The more we know,the better chance we could survive...

A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this mail sends it to everyone they know, you can be sure that we'll save at least one. Please copy and paste to people you know. Good luck with the tip.

Tuesday, 5 June 2012

LIFE'S CHOICE (3 AND 4)

HiPlease click here for part 1 and Part 2 Here is the third and fourth part of Love Under Water by Femi Job..Enjoy xxx

WILL YOU MARRY ME?

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The loving words seemed to echo around the room, wrapping everyone within it in a sudden embrace. The reactions (to the words) were as divergent as they could possibly be and were in accordance with emotions that ranged from indescribable joy to disconcerting shock. Some people in the room were just merely surprised while others found (within this context) the words to be the most uncomfortable words they had ever heard. The world seemed to stand still, but just for a moment. The lights in the room seemed to focus on the words that had been uttered, blocking out all extraneous noise and ushering in a silence so profound that you could hear almost every heartbeat. The whole world seemed to revolve now around someone who was kneeling down with a ring and offering it to someone else who was standing up.

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YES!

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The scene in itself was not new; it was a scene that is usually played out the world over on occasions such as this. But it was different, yes somewhat different. Music was playing in the background – a very romantic song by Celine Dion. Oh, someone said YES?

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YES, I WILL MARRY YOU!

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That was the reply to the question – the sweet words that had been uttered. The room burst into applause. The atoms in the room seemed to revel in this moment, vibrating till they reached a crescendo. Wale stretched out his hand, and Funmi, still kneeling, placed the 5 carat-diamond engagement ring in his finger. Wale helped her to her feet. She whispered into his ear and as if on cue, he reached into his pocket and produced a 10-carat diamond engagement ring and placed it on her finger. And then they kissed it was a very deep warm loving ‘get-a-room’-kind of kiss. If you want to know what she whispered into his ear, it was ‘my ring is in your right pocket…you can get it out now and put it on my finger.’

Tayo was the happiest person in the room. She was screaming in ecstatic joy as Wale and Funmi smooched. Lola was ‘shocked-happy’ – shocked because Funmi just got on her knees and proposed to Wale instead of the other way around, but happy because he said YES, and gave her a ring (also). Akin seemed to be indifferent – he was mainly looking at Tayo – she was looking very sexy tonight, he thought. But you could tell that Dupe wasn’t very happy – she looked away - she could not even bring herself to watch Wale and Funmi kiss. The kissing continued for what seemed to be an eternity. Wale whispered into Funmi’s ear..

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Wale: Funmi, can I talk to you alone for a moment?

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Funmi: OK, dear.

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Wale and Funmi walked into the next room (the bar area) of the restaurant/bar. Their guests – Tayo, Lola, Dupe, Akin were in the main restaurant area. Oh, I didn’t tell you why they were all here. It was Wale’s birthday and all had been invited – and there (as described above) Funmi popped the question.

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Wale: You really surprised me in there. You didn’t give me any heads up….

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Funmi: I decided that if you were not going to propose to me, then I would propose to you. I read somewhere that love speaks from the heart. I want to be with you forever and so I laid my heart bare before you.. Oh (smiles) as to the rings – I bought both of them (to match) and put the one you gave me in your pocket when you were not looking….Oh, by the way – I am moving in this weekend! Oh, I have started planning our wedding too….

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Wale: You are moving in this weekend? You have started planning our wedding? Funmi, all this is happening too fast. I need some space and I definitely need to know things before you do them – not after. For example, I was embarrassed when you proposed to me just now, but I didn’t want to embarrass you and so I said YES. You are a Yoruba girl, you brought yourself very low in proposing to me…you should be ashamed -- Yoruba girls should not do that – it reveals desperation. I would have said NO, but because I love you and I want to marry you someday, I said YES.

I am embarrassed also that you are moving in and planning our wedding – all behind my back. You are encroaching on my private space and you are taking decisions without discussing them with me..this is not how it should be done.

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Funmi: (getting upset and emotional) then please tell me how it should be done. We have been dating (courting) for 5 years. I let you take charge. I give you everything. All I want is to be your wife..and that is so hard for you? In the beginning, you told me you wanted to make more money…now you have made some money. You told me you wanted to lock in a promotion in the company…now you have your promotion. And in all this while, I have been waiting for you…waiting for you..waiting for you! You are so selfish and so cruel…. It’s all about what you want…what about what I want. I want to be married….(she starts sobbing).

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Wale: (embraces Funmi, speaks in whispers) Funmilade, my darling, my honey, my sweetie…I am sorry that I hurt you so. Please forgive me. I apologize. You can go ahead and start planning the wedding, but please keep me informed of every plan, I am very happy. But it is not a very good idea to move in with me - We are both born-again Christians and this wouldn’t be right in the eyes of the church – we have to be good ambassadors of our faith and this will not be appropriate. I love you my darling, and I will marry you. I am so happy that we are now engaged. This is the best birthday present that I have ever had.

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Funmi: (screams with joy) really! I am so happy…

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Wale smiles and dances with her to some romantic music that was playing in the bar area. She pushed her body into his and closed her eyes. As he looked at her he realized that she was shivering with joy.

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Tayo had noticed Akin watching her all evening. It had been almost a year since they broke up. Just watching Funmi propose to Wale made her feel like speaking with Akin, and she didn’t know why. It wouldn’t be worth it – speaking with him. What would they talk about? But she missed talking with him though. When they were a couple, they would talk about anything and everything – he was always very open and very kind with his words. He had so much wisdom – he knew things that you wouldn’t even know that he knew – it was as if he knew a little about everything that there is to know. You could talk with him for hours and not even know it. In the past, she remembered now, he was the one she always looked up to, the one she always wanted to talk with. That past is gone, withered away in the decay of her rage. She remembered that day – a day of joy and anger and sorrow. It had started with joy, and then it became anger, and then sorrow.

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1 year ago

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Tayo: Akin, guess what?!

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Akin: What?

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Tayo: I haven’t seen my period – it means that we are pregnant (smiling).

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Akin: (quiet for a while, and then…) OK!

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Tayo: You just said OK. You should hug me, tell me you love me, tell me it will all be alright. Tell me you are extremely happy to hear this good news.

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Akin: It will be alright!

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Tayo: Akin dear, do not be afraid. I am not making any major demands on you. We are already a couple and I will not force you to propose marriage – love trumps marriage anytime anyday. I will not change anything that we have. The baby will just bring us more joy than we already share.

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Akin: Is the baby mine?

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Tayo: Haaa. Akin how can you ask me such a question as if you are in doubt. Of course, the baby is yours.

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Akin: Your friend Dupe told me otherwise.

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Tayo: Dupe? What did she tell you?

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Akin: She told me that you and Chief Ajao have been having a sexual affair. She told me that he is your sugardaddy. Isn’t this true?

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Tayo: Noooo. Chief Ajao is my boss at the office. There is no affair going on. Don’t believe her, she is lying. She is bitter and she wants to destroy everyone who is not as bitter as she is. She envies the love we have for each other – you and I. Remind me to slap that Dupe of a girl – she is just trying to break us up and you mustn’t let her. And I am shocked, this is so unlike you – we share everything together – we do not hide any information from each other – but you have been keeping this ‘wrong information’ in your heart and you didn’t tell me until the day I tell you that I am pregnant for you.

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Akin: OK…well, I don’t want the baby.

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Tayo: What? You are talking about our baby as if it is thrash!

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Akin: If it is not thrash, what is it? Of course, it is thrash. Do you know how many children I have aborted? I cannot even count. It is not a big deal – we will remove this one because I am not having it.

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Tayo: What has come over you? This is not you talking. What has Dupe been feeding you? Or are you f**ing her?

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At this, Akin moved very fast and before Tayo could react, he landed a very hot slap on her cheek – her right cheek. The slap was so violent, she fell on the floor and almost passed out. His palms were engraved on her face, an imprint that was as painful as it was shocking. The shock made her numb and she could not even move. She just laid there trying to wake up from this violent dream. But it was not a dream, it was reality coming home with rage in its breath. The rage moved from without to within her through the air that she breathed into her lungs. The air was angry, and so was she. She turned slowly and looked at Akin. There was a look of disgust on his face and right there and then she knew that this was not the man that she wanted to have a child with. This man was not a good man anymore and could never be, at least not in her eyes. She wouldn’t forget this day forever and would not be able to pretend that it didn’t happen. She knew also that she could not be with him any longer, the rage she felt against him could not be assuaged even by the ultimate sacrifice. She broke up with him right there and then.

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Back at the birthday/ engagement party, Akin walked up to Tayo.

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Akin: Tayo, how are you?

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Tayo: Not bad! You?

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Akin: Not bad except I could use a little company….(pauses, she didn’t reply and there was this awkward silence). You must be very happy – Funmi finally gets engaged after a very long time.

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Tayo: Yes, I am very happy. Can you please excuse me – I got something to do?

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With that she walked away with Akin staring at her rear – her curves as they strained through her tight mini-skirt as she walked away. The curves were a reminder to him of what he had, what he lost and what he could never have again. He turned away and walked up to Lola.

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Akin: Lolly, how are you babe?

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Lola: I am fine

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Akin: Your husband almost found out that Abeke wasn’t his own yesterday, you know? I falsified the genotype results and told him that he was AS and that you were AC….the reason why Abeke is SC. But I think he is still suspicious. He may try to do a genotype somewhere else and he will find out that he is AA. You do not have to worry about your own genotype it is AC as indicated…(pauses). But when Yomi finds out that the baby is not his own (and he’s going to find out someday), all hell’s going to break lose. I suggest you let him know.

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Lola: Let him know? No…if I tell him – he will kill me. I don’t even know what to do.

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Akin: If I may ask – Who is the father of the baby?

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Lola: The father of the baby? (pauses) Can I trust you?

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Akin: Yes, you can trust me. I have had to bail you out many times. You have a sure confidant in me.

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Lola: The father of the baby is Wale.
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(EPISODE 4 JUST BELOW)

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3 years ago

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Lola was dressed to kill. She had on very tight body-hugging top and even tighter mini-skirt. Oh, my bad, I forgot to tell you that Lola was a very sexy girl (she is similar in shape to the attached picture). This was because she had wicked curves, curves that can make the world go round four times – once around her chest, twice around her gluteal regions, and one more time around those hips. She was the type of lady that men describe as ‘not very good-looking but dangerously sexy’…but she copiously compensated for her lack of facial beauty with a body that can make men shiver. And now imagine – she was wearing very tight clothes. Anyway, back to the story before I get carried away myself. She had knocked on the door to Funmi’s apartment. It took a while before anyone answered, and when someone did – it wasn’t Funmi. It was Wale, Funmi’s boyfriend, and he was wearing only boxers.

Lola: Hey Wale, is Funmi in?

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Wale (whistles, staring speechlessly at her as if he had just seen a mermaid – for those of you that have seen mermaids before, you understand this): Ummmmmm

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Lola: Hello…..eyes up here! (She said this because she caught his eyes drifting first to her bosom, and then to her hips, and she knew he was straining to get a view of her rear).

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Wale: She is not in. Omolola, please come in and wait for her, she won’t be long.

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Now remember this – this is not the first time that Wale had met Lola. They had been acquainted already for 2 years. BUT this was the first time that he had seen her like this. Normally she wore dresses, but today, she was something else. He moved aside to let Lola into the apartment. As she passed by him, he turned and noticed her rear as it shook in unison to the movements of her walk – the two halves of her gracious rear moved like percussion and drum in a symphony. Wale was suddenly hit hard with desire for her. She turned to face him, knowing that he would be staring at her rear and she looked down and noticed that his boxer shorts was swollen, and then it was her turn to be shocked. She whistled, and stared speechlessly at him as if she had just seen a naked angel – for those of you that have seen naked angels before you understand this. And this angel was naked, his boxers had dropped from around his waist, displaced by the turgor of what it hid – and now his secrets were opened to the air, and to her eyes. Her legs started to shake, and she needed to sit down. So this is what Funmi is enjoying, she thought to herself. She remembered that Funmi always boasted and braged to all the girls – Dupe, Tayo, and herself – that Wale was ‘something else under there’, but she thought she was just exaggerating. NOW, she realized that Funmi wasn’t exaggerating – this guy was like 3 men or more. All this time, Wale was watching her and he approached very quickly – one second, he was by the door and the next second he was right in front of her – and his boxers were still on the floor by the door. He reached out and held her waist, very roughly. She felt as if she was in the vortex of a whirlwind, in the eye of a storm, and in the raging waves of the tempest.

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Lola (shivering): Wale, I have a fiancé.

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Wale: Your fiancé is NOT here in this room.

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Lola: You have a girlfriend – who is also my bestfriend.

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Wale: My girlfriend is NOT here in this room.

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Lola: We can’t do this – it would not be right.

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Wale: THIS…(he held her hand to his tumescent member)…is not about right or wrong. THIS is about biology, chemistry, physics and geography. THIS is Biology because I reacted to you and chemistry because you reacted to me. THIS is Physics because we can feel the HEAT and the FORCES all around us right now. THIS is Geography because your body is like a beautiful landscape waiting to be explored by me. THIS is not about right and wrong. THIS is destiny – you came in here to see Funmi, but now you have met me and what I can offer you.

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Wale led her to the bedroom – Funmi’s bedroom – like fresh meat about to be butchered. And yes, he butchered her for hours – he butchered her insides. He gave her bliss, pleasure beyond imagination – during the intense encounter, she screamed for help – she screamed for her friend – she screamed for Funmi.

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That was 3 years ago. Lola collected her thoughts and snapped back to reality. But she was excited even by the memories and her legs began to shake. She reached for her husband Yomi and kissed him lightly on the cheek. They were at home. He responded to her touch. She excused herself and went into the bedroom. After a little while, she came out wearing the exact body hugging top and the tight mini-skirt which she had worn 3 years ago (see above). Yomi was excited. He carried her into the bedroom. Yomi made love to his wife. Lola reminded herself continuously not to scream out Wale’s name.

(fade)

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The motel room was alive. Ecstatic sounds and pleasure-tortured moans filled the room from the bottom to the top. Only the creaks of the bed would have belied what sort of activity this was. And then the sex was over. The man had finished too quickly. The woman had been on top and now she disembarked very slowly, rolled on her back and stared at the ceiling as if looking for something more important in the ceiling boards. She didn’t say a word. The man knew why she wasn’t talking – it was because the sex wasn’t good today and she hadn’t been satisfied. Suddenly the man felt self-conscious and inadequate. He searched his head for the right words to say.

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Chigozie: Tayo, I am very sorry that it was not very good today – I am tired from work. Please do not be upset with me.

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Tayo: Wow, 3 minutes? Is this the best you can do? You need to start exercising more – you and that your stupid fat wife. How is Dupe by the way?

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Chigozie: Which kind of silly question is that? We do not have any intimacy at all. I can not even respond when she’s around – I am impotent around her. If not of a friend like you taking care of my needs, I would have committed suicide a long time ago. You have saved my life. You are an outlet for me to release all the emotional tension I feel at home. You are a place of soccour and solace. And you are a container of pleasure. You make me feel like a rabbit – a big rabbit.

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Tayo: You mean you have not been having sex with your wife? Ha..which type of man are you? You have to meet up with your responsibilities. (pause) No wonder she is so frustrated and no wonder she is getting fatter too. Don’t you know that sex helps to burn calories and helps to keep you fit and in shape? If you want Dupe to lose weight, you know what to do. (laughs) but seeing how so fat she is you have your work cut out for you (laughs hard).

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Chigozie: (laughs hard too) Ah T-a-y-o!!! Well at least I can thank you for helping me to keep in shape for the past one year. If not of you, maybe I will be as fat as that elephant that I call my wife.

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Tayo: But seriously you have to touch her from time to time. You can close your eyes when you are making love to your wife and think of me – that way you will be able to survive the ordeal…Are you ready for another round? You better give me a good 30 minutes straight this time.

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Chigozie: Yes dear, I will give you your 30 minutes. Let me take my medicine. I will tear you into pieces and show you who your Igwe is.

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Tayo: (feigning fear) Please Igwe, be gentle with me. I am a virgin! (laughs very loud).

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(fade)

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Akin: Funmi how are you?

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Funmi: I am fine o – I am so happy. I called you here to thank you for your advice about proposing to Wale. It worked. I was very afraid and very hesitant. I asked the ladies and no one suggested that, but you know it is important to understand how a man’s mind works – it is different from a lady’s mind. Thank you for being there, thank you for great advice. I am eternally grateful to you – because of you I am engaged and will soon be Mrs Funmilade Ajao. (laughs with joy).

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Akin: You know me – anything to help a friend. So, how does it feel being engaged?

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Funmi: You cannot imagine how it feels. It feels so so so good. I am so excited I can fly.

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Akin: There is something I want to tell you…..

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But just then the phone rang and it was Wale. Funmi excused herself and walked some distance away to engage in some intimate talk. Akin watched her walk away and shook his head. She noticed that he did this and filed it away in her mind to ask him later why he did. The phone call lasted for about 20 minutes and she came back to the table.

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Funmi: sorry, it was my sweetheart who called. So you wanted to tell me something?...

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Just then the phone rang again – it was Dupe.

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(fade)

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Chigozie felt happy and bad. Happy because he had just had sex. Bad because that is how he always felt after he cheated on his wife – which was at least twice every single week (for about a year now). He felt bad because he wasn’t just cheating on her with anybody, but he was doing this with her friend Tayo. He remembered that it was Tayo who approached him sometime back in church. See, he was a deacon in the church and Tayo had come to meet him that she had a spiritual problem and she needed some counseling from him. He had agreed to meet her at her place. She then proceeded to tell him that she ‘liked’ sex a lot, and went on to describe in detail some of the things she had done. The confession became a seduction – he was aroused by her every word. And that was when it all started. The pleasure, he remembered even now, was unbelievable – Tayo was like a wild animal. He did enjoy sex with her, but he knew it had to stop. He loved his wife and he must make things right. His wife – Modupe! He felt so bad that he had hurt her very deeply with his words a few days ago – he had called her fat and boring. This was wrong! He had to apologize and make amends. He prayed for courage to be able to STOP his trysts with Tayo. Suddenly he missed his wife so much and decided he had to call her. He picked up his phone and dialed her number. The phone rang and rang, but no one picked up.

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Yomi was shocked. His doctor (not Akin) just told him that he was AA and that there was no way he could be the father of a child that was SC (the doctor had also checked Abeke, Yomi brought Abeke secretly to his doctor – he didn’t want Lola to know).

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Yomi: Oh my GOD, Abeke is not my daughter. Lola is a bloody liar.

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Doctor Ajibola: She is definitely not yours. No chance at all. BUT please be calm, you are shaking in rage, please do not do anything drastic.

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Yomi: You are asking me to be calm? How can I be calm? When I am married to a harlot! A whore. A prostitute.

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Doctor: I suggest you have a discussion with your wife and resolve this issue.

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Yomi walked out of the doctor's room angrily. He passed the room where his 'daughter' Abeke was…and he just kept walking. He didn’t stop to pick his 'daughter' up - he just left her there. A nurse saw his face and could only describe it as a ‘mask’ – she knew that this man was about to do something dangerous.

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(fade)

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Dupe was not crying anymore. She had been crying almost everyday for the past few days. But now she was smiling. She was sitting on a chair, thinking. Her phone rang and she saw that it was her husband Chigozie. She wanted to pick up the phone, but she wanted him to suffer a little for how he made her cry. And so she didn’t pick up the phone. Let it ring and ring and let him get worried, she thought. She looked at her wedding band, she would keep it on - some people take it off on a day like this. She thought about the engagement of her friend Funmi. She thought it was humiliating to see her dear friend kneeling for a man and begging to be his wife (it was supposed to be the other way round) – she was not amused or impressed. In fact, she was livid and angry. How could she do that even after all the advice she gave her. She needed to talk to her.

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Funmi: Yes Modupe.

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Dupe: Funmilade, how are you?

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Funmi: I am fine. I am actually with Akin at the moment.

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Dupe: Why did you propose to Wale? I adviced you to give him an ultimatum and let him propose but instead you buried your pride and begged him like a desperate woman to be his wife….

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Funmi: I don’t understand you o. You are supposed to be my friend. You are supposed to be happy for me. Why can’t you be happy for me. You are happily married to Chigozie and I am happy for you guys. You know I have always wanted this for a long time, and when my day finally comes, you are angry. I saw you at Wale’s birthday, you were frowning your face when I expected you to be smiling. Only Tayo was happy. …And you call yourself my friend (sobbing silently).

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Dupe: I am sorry that I was not happy to see you make a mistake. I am sorry that I was not happy to see you act desperate in front of everybody. I am sorry that you acted so naïve. But I am not sorry about what I feel about this whole thing. See, listen to me Funmilade, I am your friend, I care about you a lot. I do not trust that Wale is for you. I think he may be unfaithful.

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Funmi: OH SHUT UP!

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With this Funmi dropped the call. Dupe was so shocked – she couldn’t believe that Funmi just hung up on her like that. Their friendship was being tested with this engagement thing, she thought. Well, she will talk with Funmi again. She got off from the chair and undressed to her underwear. The man walked out of the bathroom in just his boxers – he had just taken a shower.

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Wale: Dupe, I overhead you talking with my fiancée, I hope all is well. NOW, lets have a good time. Before I went into the bathroom I ordered you to take off everything. Let us get to work.

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Please click for LIFE'S CHOICE 5

Friday, 1 June 2012

HELP 5 (CAN'T SEXUALLY RESPOND TO MY HUSBAND)

By my thinking any one of us can be silently going through terrible ordeals in our lives thinking we are alone, and believing there is no solution, no way out, well there is a way out! All you need to do is speak out or write anonymously, someone somewhere will respond to you. You are never alone, certainly not in blogsville. So I was browsing blogsville when I came across some stories. They claim to be true life stories and the writers actually need our advice. I couldnt resist but bring some of them to them to my blog so readers who have gone though a similar experience can play agony aunt and give them solutions. Or you can even give them some tough love as well. They will be published from time to time in a series titled 'HELP', this is the fourth part. You can find Help 1 Help 2 Help 3 just by a cick. Help 4 This is from a middle aged woman........................................................................................................................................................................................... “My husband and I have always had healthy sexual appetite since we got married about 30 years ago. We are now in our fifties. He is older than me by about 4 years. In fact at our early ages, we used to f*ck virtually every day. ........................................................................................................................................................................................... Any one of use could initiate sexual moves. We used various styles imaginable to spice our sex lives. We did it every where – kitchen o, sitting room o, bathroom o. No where was a taboo! We even used to f*ck in our car when on outings (it used to be all nite parties in Nigeria in the old days). But gradually as we grow older, our sex life tapered off to about 2ce a week. ........................................................................................................................................................................................... I still love my hubby very much. In fact I don’t think I can do without his company at anytime. And I know he loves me very much. My problem now is, while my husband’s sexual appetite is still relatively healthy(he still wants it once or twice a week), my own has reduced drastically. ........................................................................................................................................................................................... Actually I have little or no interest in sex again. Only my hubby now initiates sex and I only participate in a perfunctionary ways. If he doesn’t initiate sex in a month, it is like I am happy that he let me be! ........................................................................................................................................................................................... My husband now complains every time. In fact, any small gesture on his part that can lead to sex, I tend to discourage reflexively. Gestures like romancing me anywhere in the house (The kids are all gone) or kissing me, playing with my breasts etc, are the things I only allow when we are actually fucking so that he can enjoy the sex a little bit. I hardly participate. ........................................................................................................................................................................................... I know if we are in Nigeria (We now live in a Manchester suburbs), he would have gone out to play the field. What can I do? How do I rekindle my interest? He has tried several things. Blue film ni o, bought me some lingerie to wear, or tries several sex moves that can rekindle the spark. Nothing seems to work. ........................................................................................................................................................................................... Please help! What can I do?”

Tuesday, 29 May 2012

LIFE'S CHOICE (2)

HiPlease Click here for first part. Here is the second part of Love Under Water by Femi Job..Enjoy xxx


Before I proceed, I will introduce you to all the characters in this little drama. You have met Funmi, Dupe, Lola, Tayo and Wale. You are yet to personally meet Yomi (Lola’s husband), Akin (Tayo’s ex-fiance), Chigozie (Dupe’s husband) and Chief Ajao. There are other characters, but the aforementioned names are the characters of consequence in this story. I will advice that you pause at this juncture, take a piece of paper (or a notebook) and write these names down so that as the story goes on and gets a little bit more complicated (and it will I assure you) you will have a compass to bring everything into perspective. Now, let us get back to the story….

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Tayo: Wale, Funmi is upset that you haven’t proposed to her. I adviced her to step it up to the next level and move in with you. You know that can’t happen because you have to make out time for me always. You can give her an engagement ring to console her -- I can get you a ring to give her. (see episode 1)

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Wale: She is getting very desperate oh. I think maybe it is time to dump her….or what do you think?

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Tayo: NOOOO, you will not dump my friend o, or else I will deal with you…(laughs)

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Wale: But it is you that I want to be with. (smiles) It is you I want to wake up with, it is you I want to make love to. You know – you are way better than Funmi in bed. She just lies there like a log of wood and makes funny noises, but you…..you are the consummate professional – you know the right moves to make, the right moans and groans to express. You are a container of pleasure. Funmi is like an old cargo….very plain, very boring in bed. I am already tired. You know when I have sex with Funmi I close my eyes and think of you – that is the only way I enjoy it. Funmi is an empty shell.

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Tayo: (smiles) oooh that is so sweet….I am suddenly horny again. Come here…..

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Tayo and Wale started making love again. In the middle of it, the phone rang – Tayo’s phone. They continued the lovemaking while Tayo answered the phone.

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Funmi: Tayo

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Tayo: Fffffffunmmmmiiiii……haaaa…ummmmm…oooooooosh.

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Funmi: Tayo why are you stammering, did I catch you at a bad time?

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Tayo: No, you can talk…please talk…I ate some jalapeno pepper and it’s affecting my speech.

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Funmi: About what you said earlier. I have decided to do what you proposed – I will move in with Wale.

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Tayo: Good, I am so happy that you made the right chooooooooooiceeeeeeeee…aaaaah.....you should call him and let him know as soon as possible…ok, I got to go now…the jalapeno pepper is very spicy it is burning up my insides.

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The call ended.

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Tayo: Wale, you are so gooood….Funmi will call youuuuuu…aaaah……now, and she will propose to move in. You are to tell her that you’ll think about it OK?

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The phone rang. It was Wale’s phone.

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Wale: Funmi darling, my sweetie, my lover, my friend, my companion, Ololufe mi, the one who makes my heart beat faster - the one and only lady in the world who can make me happy. …..How are you?

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Funmi: Wale, sweetie pie, I am fine. I wanted to call you to discuss something, is this a good time?

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Wale: This is not a good time. I am in the middle of a business meeting. I will call you back in about an hour. LOVE you!

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Funmi: Love you too.

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Wale hung up the phone just as he, and Tayo, together, reached the top of the mountain’ and they both went into a freefall through realms of pleasure until they crashed back down to earth.

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(fade)

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Chigozie and Dupe are laying in bed. Dupe is wearing a sexy lingerie, but Chigozie seems not to notice. Dupe brushes up against him with her legs – still he didn’t notice. Dupe proceeds to use her hands to ‘change his down-there gear to higher gear’ (don’t ask me what this means, I won’t tell!). At her touch, Chigozie responds by moving away.

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Dupe: Chigozie, let’s make love!

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Chigozie: not tonight my dear, I am tired, I have been working all day at the office.

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Dupe: This is what you say every night – that you are tired. We have not had sex in over a year now. We are married, what is it that is the problem?

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Chigozie: Go to sleep Dupe, there is more to marriage than just sex.

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Dupe: I am not sexually fulfilled. I am not satisfied with your ‘work’ in the bedroom. The last time we did it (and this is eternity ago), I wasn’t satisfied. In fact, I don’t remember being ever really satisfied with you. YOU NEED TO STEP UP.

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Chigozie: (raising his voice)… I NEED TO STEP UP OR WHAT!!!! WHAT are you going to do?

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Dupe was about to say something, but she thought about it and chose not to say it. Chigozie was looking at her. He shook his head slowly.

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Chigozie: Maybe if you were not as fat as an elephant I would enjoy making love to you too…OH yes, I said it – you just complained that you are not satisfied in bed, well, guess what – I am not satisfied too. If not of the fact that I was married to you, I won’t even sleep in the same bed with you. You married and then you ‘let yourself go’ and now you are so fat it is disgusting. If I had known that this is how you will look after 2 years of marriage, I would not have allowed you to force me to marry you – YES, we both know that you ‘forced’ me to propose to you (and marry you) with an ultimatum. Sometimes I really wish you hadn’t done that. What ‘desperate’ ladies like you do not understand is that you should allow a man to reach a decision on his own, do not cajole, coerce or compel him to marry you. Things were better between us before we married. Sometimes I wish I could go back to those days. (pauses) In fact, I am going to sleep in the parlor tonight.

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Chigozie took his pillows and blankets and almost ran out of the room. Dupe wanted to tell him to wait but she was too shocked and angry to say anything. He had said very hurtful things and she wanted to hate him so much. She was living a lie, pretending to everyone that they were happily married. When he left, she started crying deep inside. The tears bubbled up from her heart and perfused her whole being, escaping out of her eyes because there was nowhere else for the tears to go. The tears fell like sudden rain, overwhelming her mind and taking all her emotions captive.

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Tayo performed the pregnancy test - twice. Both came out positive. This means she was pregnant, but for who? She ran a list of all the men that she was intimate with trying to hone in on the person most likely to be the 'owner' of the pregnancy. Well, maybe Wale, maybe someone else. She went to the bar area (next to her kitchen) and fixed herself a very hard drink. One was not supposed to drink while pregnant, but who cares, she thought - she wasn't going to keep it anyway. Her phone rang - it was Lola.

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Tayo: Omolola, how are you?

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Lola: Hey Tayo, how are you?

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Tayo: Fine....so, what's up?

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Lola: Is Wale there with you?

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Tayo (pauses): Nooooo, and why are you asking about him?

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Lola: Nothing, I just need to speak with him. Do you have his phone number - I have the old one but I think he changed his number.

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Tayo: I have his new number, but you know my policy - I don't give numbers out. So, what do you want to speak with him about....about what?

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Lola: Don't worry about that....well....

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Tayo: If you really need to speak with him, you should call Funmi. I think he's at her place at the moment.

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Lola: No worries!

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Tayo: What you want to say to him must not be very important or else I just told you who to call to reach him and you are hesitating? Or you don't want Funmi to know what you want to speak with Wale about? If you must reach him in a hurry, you can ask Akin for his number.

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Wale and Funmi were still locked in a very tight embrace. They had just finished making love. They were at Wale's place. Wale smiled and spoke in very low tones, telling Funmi how beautiful the sex was. But she knew that it wasn't very beautiful today, for one - he was very quick. Funmi knew that Wale was the best lover in the whole world. In fact, when they started dating, it didn't take very long for them to start having sex. And when they started having sex, Funmi's life changed forever -- it was like she was born-again. She could not believe the unbelievable pleasure she felt when she 'came' - oh, and it was with Wale that she first began to enjoy sex. Before Wale, she thought sex was just something people did and pretended to really like. But Wale forced a re-definition of what sex really was - paradise unbridled, an unfolding of inner and outer bliss. This was one, amongst many other reasons, that she was not willing to leave him. Wale was her crown, and she knew that no other man could make her feel the way he did - in bed.

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Wale: What did you want to talk to me about earlier?

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Funmi: I wanted to know when you planned to propose to me.

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Wale: That will be soon....don't worry I will propose to you.

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Funmi: Wale, it's been 5 long years, don't you think that it's too long?

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Wale: They say 7 is the perfect number....just kidding...yes, it's a long time but we love each other and that is what counts.

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Funmi; But if you love me, you would have married me by now, wouldn't you have?

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Wale: Love and marriage are two different things...but yes, you have a point....like I said before, don't worry, I will marry you.

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Funmi: WHEN!

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Wale: Soon!

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Funmi: Soon when!

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Wale: Please can we change this topic?

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Funmi: Why do you always want to change the topic when we are discussing OUR future. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I have not seen my period and I may be pregnant. So, the 'soon' has to be VERY SOON.

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Lola and Yomi were at the hospital. They were sitting in front of the doctor – doctor Akin (Tayo’s ex-fiance). Their daughter Abeke was sick. She was just 2 years+ old.

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Doctor Akin: We need to do a blood transfusion for your daughter very quickly. We determined that your daughter is SC and she is having major anemia complications. She needs a transfusion. Her blood group is O-. She can get blood ONLY from someone who is O-. We need O- blood. We will check your blood to see if there is anyone who matches. Otherwise we will go to the blood bank.

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Yomi: (raising his voice) Did you say SC? That cannot be. Myself and my wife are AA. We can only have a child that is AA. Plus myself and my wife are both O+, how can we have O- child. Doctor, there must be a mistake somewhere.

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Doctor Akin: Oh, two O+ parents can have O- offspring. But regarding the genotype, I can tell the lab to check again. But you know it is possible that you are both not AA but you only think so. I will ask them to take blood samples from the both of you and check again.

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Lola: Yomi don’t get worked up dear. It will be OK.

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Doctor Akin took them to the lab (on the second floor of the hospital). As he was leaving, his eyes discreetly met with Lola’s (Yomi is unaware of this)….she winked and so did he.

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................................................................................................. . (Please click for EPISODE 3 and 4 );-)