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Sunday, 25 September 2011

ENGAGED but SINGLE by guest blogger Femi Job




Hi!!!

Many men and ladies too are in exactly this situationn! Whcih situaion? read on:

This is a true story. It is about a lady and her efforts to find Mr right. Ladies say that 9 out of 10 guys are wrong (of course this is not true). Chidimma (not real name) is (currently) engaged to a guy called Ugo (not real name). I know Chidimma personally, but I do not really know Ugo. Chidimma lives in Houston, Texas whereas Ugo lives in Baltimore, Maryland. Chidimma works as a sales associate at WalMart Stores (location: Houston) whereas Ugo is a student at Towson University, Maryland.


Chidimma met Ugo at a 'naija' party in Dallas, Texas (in December 2008). He 'toasted' her and she fell for him. They started going out in January 2009, and they got engaged in October 2009. It's a 'good' long distance relationship, but it works for them (who said long distance doesn't work?). On her facebook account (Chidimma is my friend on facebook), her relationship status (currently) is 'SINGLE'. In February of this year, I had this conversation with her in Houston.


Me: Chidi-mama, how you dey now?

Chidimma: Jobeeee, I dey fine oh, you nko?

Me: I dey o...

Chidimma: I dey always gbadun your moves for facebook o, all those your controversial status updates. Hahahahaha! I dey always laff tire!
Me: You know me now...Oh, by the way, I get person wey wan know you oh. I get friend wey like you. He saw your picture and he's never going to be the same again until he meets you oh. I told him I will check to see if you are available.

Chidimma: Really? that's good oh! Before I can know if I am available or not, I have to find out about the guy now! Tell me about am - wetin be him name? where him dey work? where him live? how him look?

Me: well, you know say I no know whether guys are fine or not, but him dey ok sha. Na Ibo boy o. Him name na Chuks. Na Chevron him dey work for here in Houston. Na Houston him dey live!

Chidimma: I AM AVAILABLE. Tell him I am 'single' and 'available'. You can tell him to add me on facebook. Jobeeeeee, you get real person oh! Chei, see as my leg dey shake sef! You get him picture?

Me: E dey my facebook...(pause)....ummmm, so I take it you don break up with your fiance Ugo. Wetin happen now?

Chidimma: NO oh! Who tell you say I don break up with Ugo. We still dey engaged!

Me: but...you just said you were SINGLE and AVAILABLE! you dey confuse me big time oh!

Chidimma: Jobeeee, you suppose understand now! Free me small now!!! If na wo-wo guy wey no get money you introduce me, I go be seriously ENGAGED, but as you introduce fine hardworking engineer to me, I dey SINGLE. (pauses)...e sound somehow abi?

Me: Odikwa serious gbasky o....chei...eeewo......nnem nnem udu ma rapota mo udu (Ibo song of hope)

Chidimma: See, IT'S LIKE THIS - I am ENGAGED to Ugo, but until I am MARRIED to him - I am technically SINGLE. We have both discussed this and he knows about my status on facebook. So, if I see someone better, I will break up with him...(pauses)....I am with him because I don't want to be ALONE. I am 30 years old Jobeeee, all my friends are married or engaged or in a relationship. So, I don't want to BLOW my chance of finding the right guy, and so if the right guy comes my way, I AM SINGLE AND AVAILABLE, if the WRONG guy comes my way, I AM ENGAGED.

Me: OK O

Chidimma: Jobeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....!!!!!

copyright* FEMI JOB,


Now I say as long as you are not married, even if you are engaged, especially all those 2yrs plus 'engagment', you can keep as many potentials around, but not SLEEP with them, while my altruistic youngest sister believes once you are engaged you keep off all other potentials, what say you???

Mena

12 comments:

TheRustGeek said...

Not sure I agree with this definition.... Isn't being engaged like a signal of intent to go all the way, as soon as an opportune time to tie the knot can be found? But then what do I know?

9jaFOODie said...

Na wa ooooo.... lol.. the babe chop liver. in my world commitment is golden, so in a relationship means committed and not looking. But I guess engaged and single is a common thing among many.

1976AD.com said...

Can't blame the girl, she's a sales associate @ walmart... Gots to move on up...

kitkat said...

No i disagree! if you've met the right guy who u truly love, once you're engaged that is it! It's only if you're just settling for someone that you'll have eyes for other guys.
she clearly isnt really into her fiancee..she shouldnt marry him cos she'll just be doing it for the sake of marriage.
lol, poor guy.

NoLimit said...

Hmmmm... Until the ring is on...
*ahem* okay I should just leave it...
Though I question the reasoning behind this... it so happens to be some people's reality...
Till the ring is on...only God knows o!

Sisi Yemmie said...

Na wah oh!

HOMEMADE ENTERTAINMENT said...

NA REAL WA. ENGAGED MEANS WE ARE ABOUT TO GO TO THE ALTER ABI,NO?

SOMEONE HAS ALREADY PUT A RING ON IT, AND M IN LOVE WITH THE PERSON SO I DONT SEE WHY I SHOULD BE LOOKING ASIDE,NO?
BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I CANT HAVE TOASTERS BUT FROM THE ONSET THEY KNOW SOMEONE IS THERE.

Ginger said...

It's called a back-up plan, lols.

UgoChime said...

she's a user! no man in his right mind should marry her.

UgoChime said...

she's a user! no man in his right mind should marry her.

Anonymous said...

Hello. And Bye.

Anonymous said...

In your immaturity, did you at all fuck near with people in a exposed state– because, you were neutral bored and were a jot of a perspicacious ass? Unwavering , we all did.