Mena's Muzik
Friday, 31 May 2013
(WIERD WORLD) INTRODUCING ALAN MILLER WHO CLAIMS TO BE JESUS CHRIST
The name of the man in the photograph is Alan John Miller. Miller is a former IT professional who now claims he is Jesus Christ.
He runs a religious movement known as the Divine Truth from his home in the Australian province of Queensland.
With him in the photo is his partner. Miller says the woman is Mary Magdalene and that she was present at his crucifixion.
He recalls raising his friend Lazarus from the dead.
Funny thing is that some people are buying Miller's story, hook, line and sinker.
People have left behind families and businesses in North America and Europe and relocated to Australia to be closer to Miller and his teachings. These people truly believe Miller is Jesus Christ and insist there’s nothing sinister about him or his teachings
So, will you leave everything and migrate to Australia just to follow Allan?
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND EVERYBODY!
Monday, 27 May 2013
HOW SHE GOT OUT OF AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP:- AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH HER METHODS
She has been suffering all manner of physical and psychological abuse since getting married 4 years ago. Of course, the once loving, dark night in shining armour suddenly became a monster…not necessarily over night. For 3 years, she took these ill treatment silent-slaps, kicks at the slightest provocation. Then this fateful day, after taking all the beatings as usual, she called her elder sister. She could hardly talk on the phone. Sensing something terrible may be happening to her kid sister, the elder sister rushed down-all the way from Dolphin to Isheri ,Magodo to ascertain what the matter was. What did she see; Black eye from previous beatings, bruises, belt marks, and fallen strands from her braids-all signs from the latest beating.
Her brother in-law was so rude and was in mood to speak with her. She stepped outside, made a few calls and went back into the living room. In less than 1 hour,a Toyo...ta Bus loaded with a few young men; some i...n and other spotting military camouflage.
In summary, the brother in-law ended up in a nearby hospital and later on in Igbobi Orthopedic hospital that evening having sustained severe dislocation of his right wrist, shoulders and ankle. The elder sister of the woman in question had called her siblings-all of them boys and one of them suggested they storm there to at least teach the guy a lesson…to which the elder sister gladly and promptly approved. And what a great lesson it was.
The guy spent two weeks in the hospital-with all the bills paid by the wife’s family. While on admission, the wife’s siblings went to his place of work to secure his job and gave his employers the full report of what transpired. He got some good briefing and debriefing when he got back to work in addition to being read the Riot Act on resumption after his forced leave.
It’s been one year after .The guy seems to have learned a good albeit indelible lesson. The wife still provokes him like any human being would do to another human being. The guy still reacts, but not with his hands, legs or belts.
He has learnt to talk and express himself verbally having known the implication of doing otherwise. But do we need such treatments for men to know that it is absurd to hit their wives no matter the provocation?
Do you agree with how the situation was dealt with? If not can you suggest a better way of addressing such situations?
Thursday, 23 May 2013
A QUIRKY LOOK AT THE WHORE-VIRGIN COMPLEX
Hello
So I came across these guidelines on How to get a Nigerian man to marry you
Getting a Nigerian man to marry you is the easiest thing in the world. These easy steps will get you married, bedded, bare foot and pregnant in less than a year, guaranteed or your money back.
-- Be very religious. Nigerian men loveeeee them some religious girls. you don't actually have to be, you just have to pretend that you are. talk about the night vigils you go to every now and then. slip in some Bible passages in random conversations even when they don't fit in. Give him a Bible for his birthday. call him randomly for "morning prayers". a nigerian man will marry a woman who appears to be religious. fake it till you get that ring baby girl.
-- Pretend to be maternal. Pretend that you love children so much. especially other people's children. coo at them at grocery stores, malls, lounges, planes. talk about how much you love children. carry his friends' kids all day long. offer to help feed them, pretend girl. you're auditioning to be his baby popper, act like one.
-- Don't ever mention that you're a "feminist". femi-gini? that shit don't live here miss. Fuck women rights. accept all traditional roles even when you're dating. when you are dating him, make sure his food is ready as soon as he walks through that door bitch. it doesn't matter that you're in school or you are also working like him, shit like that don't matter. you have to show your man that you can put your back into it and be that super woman who will clean, cook, pop your back in bed and still pop out those kids.
-- You gats deny all them man them. Have you ever had sex? made out with someone? ummm...you don't have to tell your nigerian man that. when you're asked your body count is 1 or 2, never more than 3 though cos you're already side stepping into whoredom. never mind that your nigerian man's count is like 54, who cares? he's only out there fucking everything in skirt so that he can impress you in bed. all of what he does is for you, you ingrate!! he's out there putting his penis in everything in other to come home and please you in bed and you have the guts to say you have a body count of more than 3? if any man claims he has slept with you, cry and swear that you know no such man. refer to rule number 1, start quoting Bible passages about how your enemies are chasing you and shit.
that whole subtracting 7 from your body count is bullshit. you only have 3 choices: 1, 2, or 3. other than that, you might as well just remain single.
-- A nigerian man has needs that only you can't meet. you have to give him some penis room. why are you being selfish? let men be men. let them have wings to fly. don't be asking him why he came home late. you smell perfume on him? be happy that some girl is keeping him moisturized and smelling all good. that's one thing you don't have to do today. Let them have some fun girl, you just want that ring on your finger don't you? relax. that diamond that you can instagram with well manicured fingers is coming.
-- Last but not least, cook up a storm!!! your man should not be going hungry. cater to his food palette girl!! if you don't cook for him some other girl will cook for him and steal him away. cook him new delicacies all day, find out how his mother used to do it, cook for his friends too. why do you want to eat in restaurant? bitch please use that money and take your arse to the grocery store and make that man some food. let him save that money he would have used to take you out on your ring darling. be wise. a stitch in time saves nine.
This is my good deed for the day. Let him who have ears, listen or something like that.
love,
Sandra Oke
And I also came across this article Female 'Purity' Is Bullshit
Everyone else on earth is as annoyed with "purity" as I am, right? The idea that there are two kinds of women—"good girls" and everyone else, and one of them is good for fucking and the other one is good for marriage and never the twain shall meet.
The first painful thing I read today was a dumb collection of dumb shit written by a dummy, entitled "Why Good Girls Have Become As Extinct As Unicorns". In it, the anonymous male author explains that modern women are disgusting sluts who deserve to be taken advantage of, so if you manage to find a "good girl" (ideally by grooming her from kindergarten onward), you should legally cleave to her and imprison her in your bungalow posthaste before some other dude snatches up "your" prize. You can always cheat on her later when she gets "boring," which she definitely will, because she's not a person, she's just a vagina. This is "the mindset of men in the 21st century." Deal with it, ladies.
The second painful thing I read today—an utterly gutting counterpoint to the first—was a speech by kidnapping and rape survivor Elizabeth Smart. Speaking at a Johns Hopkins human trafficking forum, Smart explained why she didn't try to run from her captors, or even cry for help when they took her out in public:
Smart said she "felt so dirty and so filthy" after she was raped by her captor, and she understands why someone wouldn't run "because of that alone."
Smart spoke at a Johns Hopkins human trafficking forum, saying she was raised in a religious household and recalled a school teacher who spoke once about abstinence and compared sex to chewing gum.
"I thought, 'Oh, my gosh, I'm that chewed up piece of gum, nobody re-chews a piece of gum, you throw it away.' And that's how easy it is to feel like you know longer have worth, you know longer have value," Smart said. "Why would it even be worth screaming out? Why would it even make a difference if you are rescued? Your life still has no value."
Smart's reluctance to fight for her freedom isn't the cause of her rape or her harrowing 9-month imprisonment (her captors hold those distinctions entirely), but it's possible that she might have been rescued sooner had she not been socialized to believe dangerous ideas about female virtue and worth. Smart, understandably, internalized the things she had been taught all her life: that her value was inextricable from her "purity," that a woman without value had no reason to live, and, more obliquely, that her life and her body weren't really her own anyway. So what was the point? Why live? Why fight? The myth of female purity—the idea that "good girls have become as extinct as unicorns"—could very easily have contributed to years more sexual slavery for Elizabeth Smart. Or her death.
Fuck all of that.
Girls and women, if no one has ever told you this before, or if you just have trouble believing it: you are good, you are whole, you are yours. You do not exist to please men, and your value as a human being is not contingent upon your sexual capital. "Purity" is a lie. Do not even worry about any of this garbage, because it's about as real as a fucking unicorn. And like my Nana always used to say, "Never take life advice from a grown man who believes that unicorns are 'extinct.'"
And this "good girl" shit isn't just limited to odious ding-dongs like dude-who-doesn't-know-the-difference-between-extinct-and-fucking-mythological. I know plenty of progressive, liberal, adult men who openly say they're looking for a "good girl"—who prioritize some paternalistic illusion of "self-respect" over personality and chemistry. And to those dudes, I say, HOW DO YOU NOT SEE HOW CREEPY THIS IS. Can you imagine if women went around saying they were just looking for a "good boy" and sometimes they "jokingly" scout kindergartens for promising baby virgins?!?!?! Groooooooooss!!!!!
To clear up any confusion, let's take a comprehensive look at female purity and why it is bullshit.
You Can Tell Something Is Bullshit If All of the Justifications for It Are Bullshit
Okay, guy, so why do you feel like you want/need/deserve to settle down with a "pure" woman? I'm genuinely listening.
"Oh, it's because sluts are gross."
Too vague. Do better.
"Well, their vaginas are real stretched out and big."
No.
"Ummmmm, they probably have a bunch of diseases?"
Easy fix! Setting aside the fact that plenty of women contract STIs from monogamous partners or during "safe sex," it sounds like your real problem here is with illness, not sex. So I assume you'd be fine dating a promiscuous woman who practiced safe sex and happened to be STI-free?
"No, because I want a girl who's traditional and family-oriented."
Having sex doesn't mean you don't want to have a family. It just means that you want to have sex.
"Yeah, but a slut is more likely to cheat on me."
Really? Then why do couples in the Bible Belt have such a high divorce rate?
"The devil, I guess?"
NOPE.
"I just can't stand the thought of her getting fucked by all those other guys."
So you're about to have sex with a woman you're attracted to, you really want to have sex with her, but all you can think about is her getting pounded by tons and tons of dicks? That sounds like an entirely different issue.
"No! I just mean that I struggle with the same powerlessness and insecurity that all human beings do, so as a coping mechanism I take advantage of our culture's patriarchal power structure and exorcize my feelings of worthlessness by perpetuating shame-based proprietary attitudes over women's bodies. Basically I'm obsessed with controlling women's lives because I can't control my own."
Oh, honey. I know.
Men Are Lying
Men can't actually care whether or not women are "pure," because there is no way for "purity" to be verified. It's just not a real thing, and chasing some phantom virtue for your entire life is a great way to ensure that you waste your goddamn life. By Professor Unicorn's own admission, above, even if you claim to be "pure" he will probably just assume you're lying, and even if you can somehow prove your purity he will get bored with you eventually anyway, because boner. This entire "conversation" is just an effort to rig a system in which men get to determine female worthlessness no matter the input. There is nothing you can do to be pure. Meanwhile, they get to do literally whatever they want with anyone, to anyone, at any time. The double standard is so blatant it's almost too boring to point out.
If you spend any time at all browsing body-positive Tumblrs, you'll notice that they're constantly invaded by men determined to insert their big, throbbing, veiny opinions into women's personal spaces. Queer women, fat women, women in pain, women trying to practice very basic self-care and sexual reclamation—they're all subject to unsolicited male assessment and exploited for male arousal. Women can't even escape sexualization in the context of attempting to make a statement about their own sexualization. It's relentless.
I got catcalled outside the coffee shop in the middle of writing this article—my brain mired in thoughts about purity and sexualization and objectification. A dude drove by in a car, leaned out the window, and yelled "EXCELLEEEEEENT!" (I will concede that it's possible he just mistook me for Rufus.) So what is it—am I supposed to be modest and pure, or do I become a sexual commodity as soon as I step outside in a belted muumuu and janky flip-flops? Well, the two aren't nearly as incongruous as they appear. A catcall is entirely about reminding you that you are not yours. The purity myth is entirely about reminding you that you are not yours. The fetishization of female purity in a world where catcalls are an acceptable form of communication telegraphs one thing very clearly:
"Women, stop sexualizing yourselves—that's our job, and you're taking all the fun out of it."
The sexualization of women is only appealing if it's nonconsensual. Otherwise it's "sluttiness," and sluttiness is agency and agency is threatening and so, therefore, sluttiness must equal disposability.
Women's Unhealthy Choices Are Nobody's Fucking Business
Everyone makes unhealthy choices sometimes. Life is long and complex. Everyone has sex with partners they regret, and strays out of their comfort zone for the wrong reasons, and enters into self-destructive relationships with the best intentions. But those choices are unhealthy for the person making them, not for anyone else. And those choices have no bearing whatsoever on anyone's worth as a human being. Sometimes perspective, born out of pain, can actually make life richer. Your good choices are yours and your bad choices are yours too.
Would it be better for you in the long run not to send naked pictures of yourself to a manipulative sociopath? Probably. But that's not because sending naked pictures of yourself is an inherently "bad" thing to do. Nudity isn't bad. Sex isn't bad. Nipples aren't bad. Even chastity isn't bad. Literally all of this shit is arbitrary. The only "mistake" is placing your trust in the wrong person, and the culpable one in that scenario is the person who chooses to be untrustworthy—not the victim taken in by it.
Our culture deliberately socializes women to be taken in. We condition girls (explicitly! Not even covertly!) to believe that if they're not sexually attractive, they're nothing. They're garbage. They might as well not exist. We reinforce, over and over, that their attractiveness has an expiration date, so the only thing they can do is desperately leverage that attractiveness while they can. If they resist that conditioning, we sexualize them against their will, and if they give in to that conditioning—or worse, if they are raped by a predator—we reveal the trap: Now you're a slut, and it's your fault. Now you're tainted. Now you're worse than nothing. Now you might as well not even cry out when your rapist takes you to the gas station in a wig and sunglasses.
So, Girls, Fuck All of It
If you want to. Or don't fuck any of it, if you don't want to. Fuck women. Fuck men. Fuck no one. Point is, you get to fuck what you like, when you like, and your worth is not determined by some golden ratio of extreme boner tantalization vs. minimal boner touching. BONERS ARE NOT THE BOSS OF YOU. You are the boss of you.
Blogged by Lindy West
Mena says: According to WIKI, Statistics prove that a number of men suffer from the Madonna-Whore complex. First identified by Sigmund Freud, this psychological complex is said to develop in men who see women as either saintly Madonnas or debased prostitutes. Men with this complex desire a sexual partner who has been degraded (the whore) while they cannot desire the respected partner (the Madonna). Freud wrote: "Where such men love they have no desire and where they desire they cannot love."[Clinical psychologist Uwe Hartmann, writing in 2009, stated that the complex "is still highly prevalent in today's patients"
But Where do you stand?
Monday, 20 May 2013
DEAR READERS I REGRET MARRYING MY WIFE
Dear Readers
I am a guy in my late 30’s and have been married to my wife for 4 years. We have a 2 year old son. She is a good wife and I can’t honestly say she has done me any wrong. She has a good job and we seem to be having a good life together from all appearances except that we don’t have anything in common. When we are home together, it’s almost like being with a stranger. We never have anything to talk about and we view life from different angles.
Conversely, I have some habits that I picked up over the years and can’t seem to let go of. I am a decent man and I have a well-paid job with a multi-national company, but I enjoy marijuana and prostitutes. I have successfully hidden this from my wife of 4 years but it’s such a strain leading a double life.
Before we got married, I had a relationship with this other lady whom I loved very much. We had dated for a while and were very compatible. With her, I was always myself. She knows all my habits and accommodates them well enough. We have the same views on almost everything and I have never had cause to hide anything from her.
At the time we were dating (before I got married), I noticed that she didn’t seem to be very committed to the relationship. She was very flirty and had a lot of male companions I wasn’t comfortable with. At some point, I started doubting if she loved me. All my efforts to make her calm down and pay serious attention to our relationship proved futile and I grew tired of trying. We broke up and she didn’t seem fazed at all. After some time, I met and married my wife.
About 2 years after I got married, I ran into her at a friend’s. Apparently, she had been trying to get in touch with me and had actually contacted a few mutual friends. We got talking and she was very regretful of the way our relationship ended. She asked my forgiveness for treating me shabbily, and pleaded to resume our relationship. She seemed to have calmed down. She also seemed more settled and focused.
We started dating again when I was sure she was serious and now, we are inseparable. My friends are comfortable with her; they’ve always known her and she blends in very well with us when we are on our joints. With her, I feel like a different man, a free man, a much happier man. I strongly believe she is my soul-mate.
We both wish I had not gotten married as we very much desire to get married. Now I regret marrying my wife and my resentment towards her grows every day she remains my wife and I am compelled to live my double life. I’m almost at the point where I can’t bear to be with her anymore.
I’m considering divorcing my wife and marrying this lady. I am not a happy man right now and it’s like I’m slowly losing my mind over this. I have spoken with a few friends but they are split over the matter. My resolve grows everyday but I still have some doubts.
What do you think is the best solution?
Tuesday, 14 May 2013
KINDLY LEND YOUR VIEWS TO THE PSYCHOSIS V SUPERSTITION DEBATE
If we apply foreign standards of Mental Health like that of UK/US to Nigeria, over 50% - 80million people - would be sanctioned under the Mental Health Act, because they regularly profess to have personal unseen enemies and spirits, attribute most natural phenomenon to supernatural, are illogical and over emotional.
Little wonder that there is a higher than average percentage of Nigerian women in UK mental facilities.
If you tell an Oyinbo doctor that somebody is 'doing you' from your village, somebody stole your destiny, your enemies are pursuing you and the usual Nigerian African Magic, the doctor will most likely inject you with some mind-bending drug and the more you try to explain African Magic the likelihood is that the dosage will increase, confining you permanently in a mental institution!"
Over the last 30 years there have been 20 studies showing that people of Caribbean and African origin have an increased risk of being treated for serious mental illnesses such as schizophrenia and mania. The increased rate is of epidemic proportions - between five and 12 times greater than for white people. And if anything, it is getting worse.
On March 31 each year, a one-day census is carried out for all Britain's psychiatric inpatients, and the results of last year's census have just been published. Of the 32,000 people in hospital, those who defined themselves as black Caribbean and black African were over-represented by three- or fourfold. But one other group stood out - those who defined themselves as "black other". The vast majority of this group are young, British-born black people, and they were 18 times more likely to be in hospital than the British average.
It is always prudent to treat statistics with caution. Hospital admission reflects not only the amount of illness in a community but also the ability of the community to cope with that illness. For instance, in highly supportive, tight-knit communities, more people are treated at home. But it is hard to believe that this increased rate is not at least in part due to a true increase in the amount of illness. This is backed up by years of research and a recent international review, which concluded that migrants are more likely to develop mental illness. But the risk is doubled in black migrants to white countries, and the risk is increased again in their children. It seems that it is not about migration alone or being black - it is about being black in a white country. The rate of serious mental illness in the Caribbean and in Africa is not high, but the rate of mental illness in Britons of Caribbean and African origin is.
You can recover from a psychotic illness, but many people have long-term problems. The cost to the individual with a psychotic illness, to their family and carers and wider society, is immense. Most sufferers are unemployed and on benefit; there is an increased risk of suicide; life expectancy is lower; and their children are more likely to develop a mental illness and be taken into care.
Though we will not be able to prevent all psychosis, we should be able to prevent some of it. We know that psychotic illnesses are associated with poverty, poor education, racism, living in a city, poor obstetric care, head injuries or brain infection when you are young, childhood trauma, family break-up, and cannabis use. We know that targeting childhood and adolescence is important.
Prevention of mental illness in black communities is the sort of complex problem that should attract a high-level government inquiry that leads to action. I am used to hearing politicians say that doing nothing is not an option. This is an area where the phrase has real meaning. The high rates of mental illness in people of Caribbean and African origin are not going to go away. If anything, their legacy will blight a generation and the impact will be felt by us all.
SO What Sayeth thou to this views?
Cheers!
Mena
p.s Oyinbo: A slang to fondly describe anyone western, or from the first world, usually caucasian.
Wednesday, 8 May 2013
SEXUAL ABUSE, TORTURE AND CONSEQUENCES: The story of Godwin Okpara, former player of the Paris Saint-Germain
MINOR, ADOPTED INTO A FAMILY, ADOPTED FATHER CONSTANTLY RAPED HER, ADOPTED MOTHER TORTURED AND PHYSICALLY MUTILATED HER..UNTIL SHE FELL INTO A STATE OF FUGUE...Fugue: a disturbed state of consciousness in which the one affected seems to perform acts in full awareness but upon recovery cannot recollect the acts performed..
Rape is an emotive topic for me.I do not understand rape 'humour'. No one 'deserves' to be raped. I agree that there may be people who have been abused and have taken that form as abuse as the norm. Rape is not normal. It is not any man's entitlement or birthright to rape any woman under his roof. If she is an adult and said no to any sexual intimacy, then assume she MEANS it and leave her alone. If she is a minor and have been groomed to say yes to child abuse, you deserve to be castrated.
As far as I am concerned Nigeria does not recognise Rape as a crime. And this attitude is carried on by certain Nigerian immigrants to more civilised climes. Luckily within the system they have migrated to, they are often caught and the full justice of the law is meted out to the rapists.
BBC online reported in 2008: Nigerian former football international Godwin Okpara faces 10 years in a French jail for the rape, torture and enslavement of his adopted daughter.
His wife Linda was sentenced to 15 years. The couple had denied all the charges against them. They are expected to appeal against the sentences.
The court heard that the abuse was carried out at the family home in Chatou, west of Paris.
The adopted daughter had arrived in France as a young girl in 2000.
Okpara, 35, admitted to having sex with the adopted daughter, then 13, on one occasion in 2005. But he said it was at her instigation.
The daughter testified in court that it was after discovering the pair together that Linda Okpara, 42, began mistreating her - torturing her and subjecting her to cruel sexual acts.
The adopted daughter's name is Tina Okpara, her family name is Tina Omaku. She finally wrote her experiences in a book..
Please support her, buy, read, learn from Ma vie a un prix [Broché] Tina Okpara (Auteur), Cyril Guinet (Auteur) also available on amazon.com as My Life Has a Price by Tina Opara.
She was interviewed by French Newsjournal, Lexpress, obviously in French language. I used the google translate feature to get it in English. Google Translate is not 100% perfect. ..Excerpts:
THE VICTIM: Tina was adopted in Nigeria at the age of 12 years by Godwin Okpara, former player of the Paris Saint-Germain. She published a book titled 'My life has a price' (Michel Lafon), describing the terrifying story of four years of barbaric prison.
In 2001, Tina was 12 years old when she lost her mother died in childbirth. His father, Simon wants to offer him a "better future." February 11, his daughter went to France to join the family of a man whom he has confidence, Godwin Okpara, Nigerian professional player of the Paris Saint-Germain.
Tina does not yet know the tragedies that await ...
For the family of football will be their "adopted" her slave girl. Tina works full time four young children of the couple running the household chores and sleeping on a mattress in the basement. She is deprived of all, friends, school, freedom. His "adoptive" mother, Linda, humiliates, violent and torture. The year of his 15 years, his new father, Godwin, viola for the first time. He will do daily, several times a day.
August 13, 2005, Tina finally managed to find refuge with neighbors. Three years later, Okpara respectively convicted by the court of appeal of the Hauts-de-Seine 15 and 10 years in prison for "rape, torture and enslavement." Today, the same nightmares haunt yet.
Four years after the end of your nightmare, why did you decide to write your story?
In 2007, while the trial of my foster parents had started, I had offered to tell all in a book. At the time, it was too early. I wanted to forget and have a normal life, like all people my age. Today, I need to talk. Even if to give courage to those who suffer or have suffered similar abuse. To show them that they must always fight and believe in the future.
Upon arrival at the Okpara, when did you realize that you not only would their "adopted daughter"?
Not just yet ... The first six months I kept hoping that the situation will change. Linda Okpara promised me that I will be educated during the next school year. I thought that once in school, I would not have to perform all domestic tasks she assigned me. And we moved. I realized that there was nothing for me in this new home. No room, no binder or school supplies. When I found myself at almost 13 years, lying on my mattress in the basement, I finally understood what was going to be my role.
You write in your school how you also missed more than freedom book?
Nothing makes me more pain than not being in school. That was why my father had allowed me to move with the Okparas to France. He knew that the Okpara family could afford to give me what he could not offer me, education and a future. My dream was to become a nurse. If I had been at school, maybe I would have been able to achieve.
In addition to the violence and daily humiliations that Linda Okpara makes you suffer, her husband started sexually abusing you when you were 15 years old ...
I did not think at all that this could happen. Godwin Okpara was someone I respected a lot and that my father had confidence. It is his family that my parents knew and not Linda. In addition, he was always nice to me, even if he closed his eyes to what his wife made me suffer. But the rapes began two years after my arrival in France. They then became daily. One day I asked him: "There are plenty of other girls, why me?" He told me that I was at home and outside, there was disease.
A fugue led you to the police. The police did not listen to you and summon your alleged adoptive parents. How did you feel?
I feel empty and betrayed me. At this time, I understand that my ordeal will start. When the police realized that I was the family of footballer Godwin Okpara, they did not listen. They did not even try to understand the reasons for my flight or the circumstances in which I lived. They seemed to have a certain admiration for my adoptive father and could not imagine that a person known to do such a thing.
Why not run away sooner or try your luck several times?
I knew no one. I was not allowed out except to go shopping or accompany children to school. I had to run. I had a very strict time schedule. If I do not respect, I expose myself to violence Linda. And we lived in a suburban neighborhood. It was every home. In addition, at the time, I did not speak French.
Is the day of "liberation", as you described it yourself in your book. You run away again. Neighbors come to help you. Was that when you realize that your ordeal ends?
That day, the neighbors called the police. I do not want them to do so: I was afraid of being betrayed again. But this time, the police appeared determined to investigate. One of them told me that it was his last day of work and he would not go on vacation as I will not be safe. Then they accompanied me home to get my passport and have stood up to my Godwin Okpara. There, I realized that my nightmare ended.
In 2006, when the first trial ends your tormentors, you state at the hearing: "I do not want to see ... but I do not want them to go to jail because of me." Why?
I am relieved and reassured to never have to deal with them. But one fear remains. At the time, my father was still alive. I do not want my family in Nigeria suffer retaliation because of me. Okpara were the famous people in my country. I thought they could easily pay someone to hurt my own family. And anyway, the fact that they are in prison will never erase the humiliation, beatings and rape.
During all these years, you have never ceased to write your diary, on books that you find in the house. Writing has helped you overcome this terrifying ordeal?
These books were my only friends! I could tell their everything I lived to tell the demons that were my adoptive parents. Alone did not cut me off and let me express myself. They helped me a lot.
I think about every day when I wake up and I look in the mirror. When my adoptive mother caught her husband raping me, she tortured me for revenge. Using a razor, she mutilated my vagina. She told me she was going to inflict on me a scar that I would remember all the days of my life. She was not mistaken.
In the last sentence of your book, you express the desire for a challenge, that of being a woman like any other. Today, do you think you have achieved that?
Roughly, I think. I love my job. I take care of elderly. I missed so much love and affection that I want to give to others. But I still live in a home for young workers. My goal is to succeed in having my own apartment, my own family. Above all, France has helped me through horrific times. So, I hope to someday get the French nationality. This would allow me to reuse the name of my real father, Omaku. I am ashamed to be still that of Okpara"
In August 2005, Godwin Okpara was arrested by French police on charges of raping his 13 year-old adopted daughter. He was found guilty and imprisoned in June 2007 for 10 years. His wife, Linda Okpara, accused of torture on the same person has been condemned to 15 years in jail. After the arrest of Godwin and Linda, their 4 children were placed in seperate foster care
by Franck Berteau, published 13/09/2010 at 14:00
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