Dear Readers
I am a guy in my late 30’s and have been married to my wife for 4 years. We have a 2 year old son. She is a good wife and I can’t honestly say she has done me any wrong. She has a good job and we seem to be having a good life together from all appearances except that we don’t have anything in common. When we are home together, it’s almost like being with a stranger. We never have anything to talk about and we view life from different angles.
Conversely, I have some habits that I picked up over the years and can’t seem to let go of. I am a decent man and I have a well-paid job with a multi-national company, but I enjoy marijuana and prostitutes. I have successfully hidden this from my wife of 4 years but it’s such a strain leading a double life.
Before we got married, I had a relationship with this other lady whom I loved very much. We had dated for a while and were very compatible. With her, I was always myself. She knows all my habits and accommodates them well enough. We have the same views on almost everything and I have never had cause to hide anything from her.
At the time we were dating (before I got married), I noticed that she didn’t seem to be very committed to the relationship. She was very flirty and had a lot of male companions I wasn’t comfortable with. At some point, I started doubting if she loved me. All my efforts to make her calm down and pay serious attention to our relationship proved futile and I grew tired of trying. We broke up and she didn’t seem fazed at all. After some time, I met and married my wife.
About 2 years after I got married, I ran into her at a friend’s. Apparently, she had been trying to get in touch with me and had actually contacted a few mutual friends. We got talking and she was very regretful of the way our relationship ended. She asked my forgiveness for treating me shabbily, and pleaded to resume our relationship. She seemed to have calmed down. She also seemed more settled and focused.
We started dating again when I was sure she was serious and now, we are inseparable. My friends are comfortable with her; they’ve always known her and she blends in very well with us when we are on our joints. With her, I feel like a different man, a free man, a much happier man. I strongly believe she is my soul-mate.
We both wish I had not gotten married as we very much desire to get married. Now I regret marrying my wife and my resentment towards her grows every day she remains my wife and I am compelled to live my double life. I’m almost at the point where I can’t bear to be with her anymore.
I’m considering divorcing my wife and marrying this lady. I am not a happy man right now and it’s like I’m slowly losing my mind over this. I have spoken with a few friends but they are split over the matter. My resolve grows everyday but I still have some doubts.
What do you think is the best solution?
16 comments:
Assuming this is true, he needs to follow his heart. He needs to marry the girl that will let him fuck prostitute and do drugs. He should let the current wife knows asap.
Sigh, his poor, poor wife...!
If only we would only do what we want right from the bat! I presume my guy married a "good girl" BUT that's not your type. You like your wild, adventurous woman...but probably due to some archaic view, you didn't think you should "wife" that...now you are resenting the woman who you made vows too. I would say learn to learn the love the woman you married, but your heart seems set on your prozzies and weed. So, let the poor woman know, and let her go. Go and be with that which your heart has wanted from the jump. Hiss.
Why this great announcement, divorce the woman, you already fooled her by pretending to be what you are not
Please let her go now that she is still young and there is only one child involved. Dont go impregnating her again please. Go be with the woman who will let you enjoy prostitutes. Am so sorry for your poor wife.
What a douchebag, I hope you havent infected your partner
I have an issue with the guy in question.Firstly,didn't he date his wife before marriage? Why would be wait 4 years and a two year old son later before realizing they have nothing in common? Secondly,what gave him the impression the other woman is his soul mate? I'm actually thinking he didn't date a lot before marriage and thus is inexperienced in these matters.Thirdly,resenting his wife for his own mistakes is pure wickedness.The woman is innocent in all these,so why would he resent her? My advice for him is that he should spend more time with his wife and get to know her.I'm sure there are areas where they'd be compatible,let him find out such areas and exploit them to improve their marriage.But if he's resolved to going to the other woman,he should think of the wickedness millions of kids suffer in the hands of their step-parents,will he appreciate his son to experience such? This man needs to think with his HEAD!!!
I seem to relate to this story, i have suspected u all along but have decided to keep quiet. I sure have a plan that'll shock u. Enjoy while it lasts!
Your wife should lawyer up and clean you out
.i can bet.... dis lady coming back again will not leave him again. no matter what....she has seen d difference, she now has d exprience, as we grow we learn not to repeat our past mistakes,if she had gotten a guy who can flow wit her like dis guy she wont come back,....i strongly feel d wife will b at d receiving end, ....cos will she now start allowing her hubby to smoke indian hemp, or sleep wit prostitudes or what? or allow her hubby convert her lifestyle to such....d moment she attempts to change her hubbys life style den bigger problems sets in... if the man is willing to change his life style it wld have given his wife a better chance.....all those habits of his are wat gives him happiness...y deprive him of his happiness (good or bad way)...we all deserve to b happy ...its just unfortunate dat d wife fell into d wrong hands...her hubby!
It's going to cost you dearly, but do what you must and let this be a lesson to the rest of you to DATE, DATE, DATE while you're young. Even if you're overweight and a bit of a loser, you need to work on yourself and get out there and find out what you like. Get it out of your system while commitments are still legally trivial. If you don't, you'll end up with a chronic case of the grass is greener and like this guy, it could cost you alimony and child support too.
This is cool!
What goes around, comes around..
this guy/man or is it boy is a plonker! The girl you're desiring now will only cause you heartbreak,she had her chance but blew it! Your wife knows what she wants and if you're honest with yourself,she has made you a better man. I feel like that sometimes too but doesn't make it right plus you have a son together.But then again if you prefer this 'new love',drugs and prostitutes over your son and wife,the choice is yours to make i would rather not tho but 'what do i know?'
-warriboi in london vacationing in North America
its like the son has been forgotten.
try and keep a happy face for the sake of your son. the situation is not great but if you love your son you should salvage what you can of your marriage to make it work.
remember to get a vasectomy.
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