LIFE'S CHOICE (3 AND 4)

HiPlease click here for part 1 and Part 2 Here is the third and fourth part of Love Under Water by Femi Job..Enjoy xxx

WILL YOU MARRY ME?

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The loving words seemed to echo around the room, wrapping everyone within it in a sudden embrace. The reactions (to the words) were as divergent as they could possibly be and were in accordance with emotions that ranged from indescribable joy to disconcerting shock. Some people in the room were just merely surprised while others found (within this context) the words to be the most uncomfortable words they had ever heard. The world seemed to stand still, but just for a moment. The lights in the room seemed to focus on the words that had been uttered, blocking out all extraneous noise and ushering in a silence so profound that you could hear almost every heartbeat. The whole world seemed to revolve now around someone who was kneeling down with a ring and offering it to someone else who was standing up.

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YES!

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The scene in itself was not new; it was a scene that is usually played out the world over on occasions such as this. But it was different, yes somewhat different. Music was playing in the background – a very romantic song by Celine Dion. Oh, someone said YES?

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YES, I WILL MARRY YOU!

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That was the reply to the question – the sweet words that had been uttered. The room burst into applause. The atoms in the room seemed to revel in this moment, vibrating till they reached a crescendo. Wale stretched out his hand, and Funmi, still kneeling, placed the 5 carat-diamond engagement ring in his finger. Wale helped her to her feet. She whispered into his ear and as if on cue, he reached into his pocket and produced a 10-carat diamond engagement ring and placed it on her finger. And then they kissed it was a very deep warm loving ‘get-a-room’-kind of kiss. If you want to know what she whispered into his ear, it was ‘my ring is in your right pocket…you can get it out now and put it on my finger.’

Tayo was the happiest person in the room. She was screaming in ecstatic joy as Wale and Funmi smooched. Lola was ‘shocked-happy’ – shocked because Funmi just got on her knees and proposed to Wale instead of the other way around, but happy because he said YES, and gave her a ring (also). Akin seemed to be indifferent – he was mainly looking at Tayo – she was looking very sexy tonight, he thought. But you could tell that Dupe wasn’t very happy – she looked away - she could not even bring herself to watch Wale and Funmi kiss. The kissing continued for what seemed to be an eternity. Wale whispered into Funmi’s ear..

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Wale: Funmi, can I talk to you alone for a moment?

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Funmi: OK, dear.

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Wale and Funmi walked into the next room (the bar area) of the restaurant/bar. Their guests – Tayo, Lola, Dupe, Akin were in the main restaurant area. Oh, I didn’t tell you why they were all here. It was Wale’s birthday and all had been invited – and there (as described above) Funmi popped the question.

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Wale: You really surprised me in there. You didn’t give me any heads up….

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Funmi: I decided that if you were not going to propose to me, then I would propose to you. I read somewhere that love speaks from the heart. I want to be with you forever and so I laid my heart bare before you.. Oh (smiles) as to the rings – I bought both of them (to match) and put the one you gave me in your pocket when you were not looking….Oh, by the way – I am moving in this weekend! Oh, I have started planning our wedding too….

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Wale: You are moving in this weekend? You have started planning our wedding? Funmi, all this is happening too fast. I need some space and I definitely need to know things before you do them – not after. For example, I was embarrassed when you proposed to me just now, but I didn’t want to embarrass you and so I said YES. You are a Yoruba girl, you brought yourself very low in proposing to me…you should be ashamed -- Yoruba girls should not do that – it reveals desperation. I would have said NO, but because I love you and I want to marry you someday, I said YES.

I am embarrassed also that you are moving in and planning our wedding – all behind my back. You are encroaching on my private space and you are taking decisions without discussing them with me..this is not how it should be done.

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Funmi: (getting upset and emotional) then please tell me how it should be done. We have been dating (courting) for 5 years. I let you take charge. I give you everything. All I want is to be your wife..and that is so hard for you? In the beginning, you told me you wanted to make more money…now you have made some money. You told me you wanted to lock in a promotion in the company…now you have your promotion. And in all this while, I have been waiting for you…waiting for you..waiting for you! You are so selfish and so cruel…. It’s all about what you want…what about what I want. I want to be married….(she starts sobbing).

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Wale: (embraces Funmi, speaks in whispers) Funmilade, my darling, my honey, my sweetie…I am sorry that I hurt you so. Please forgive me. I apologize. You can go ahead and start planning the wedding, but please keep me informed of every plan, I am very happy. But it is not a very good idea to move in with me - We are both born-again Christians and this wouldn’t be right in the eyes of the church – we have to be good ambassadors of our faith and this will not be appropriate. I love you my darling, and I will marry you. I am so happy that we are now engaged. This is the best birthday present that I have ever had.

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Funmi: (screams with joy) really! I am so happy…

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Wale smiles and dances with her to some romantic music that was playing in the bar area. She pushed her body into his and closed her eyes. As he looked at her he realized that she was shivering with joy.

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Tayo had noticed Akin watching her all evening. It had been almost a year since they broke up. Just watching Funmi propose to Wale made her feel like speaking with Akin, and she didn’t know why. It wouldn’t be worth it – speaking with him. What would they talk about? But she missed talking with him though. When they were a couple, they would talk about anything and everything – he was always very open and very kind with his words. He had so much wisdom – he knew things that you wouldn’t even know that he knew – it was as if he knew a little about everything that there is to know. You could talk with him for hours and not even know it. In the past, she remembered now, he was the one she always looked up to, the one she always wanted to talk with. That past is gone, withered away in the decay of her rage. She remembered that day – a day of joy and anger and sorrow. It had started with joy, and then it became anger, and then sorrow.

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1 year ago

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Tayo: Akin, guess what?!

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Akin: What?

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Tayo: I haven’t seen my period – it means that we are pregnant (smiling).

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Akin: (quiet for a while, and then…) OK!

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Tayo: You just said OK. You should hug me, tell me you love me, tell me it will all be alright. Tell me you are extremely happy to hear this good news.

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Akin: It will be alright!

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Tayo: Akin dear, do not be afraid. I am not making any major demands on you. We are already a couple and I will not force you to propose marriage – love trumps marriage anytime anyday. I will not change anything that we have. The baby will just bring us more joy than we already share.

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Akin: Is the baby mine?

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Tayo: Haaa. Akin how can you ask me such a question as if you are in doubt. Of course, the baby is yours.

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Akin: Your friend Dupe told me otherwise.

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Tayo: Dupe? What did she tell you?

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Akin: She told me that you and Chief Ajao have been having a sexual affair. She told me that he is your sugardaddy. Isn’t this true?

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Tayo: Noooo. Chief Ajao is my boss at the office. There is no affair going on. Don’t believe her, she is lying. She is bitter and she wants to destroy everyone who is not as bitter as she is. She envies the love we have for each other – you and I. Remind me to slap that Dupe of a girl – she is just trying to break us up and you mustn’t let her. And I am shocked, this is so unlike you – we share everything together – we do not hide any information from each other – but you have been keeping this ‘wrong information’ in your heart and you didn’t tell me until the day I tell you that I am pregnant for you.

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Akin: OK…well, I don’t want the baby.

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Tayo: What? You are talking about our baby as if it is thrash!

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Akin: If it is not thrash, what is it? Of course, it is thrash. Do you know how many children I have aborted? I cannot even count. It is not a big deal – we will remove this one because I am not having it.

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Tayo: What has come over you? This is not you talking. What has Dupe been feeding you? Or are you f**ing her?

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At this, Akin moved very fast and before Tayo could react, he landed a very hot slap on her cheek – her right cheek. The slap was so violent, she fell on the floor and almost passed out. His palms were engraved on her face, an imprint that was as painful as it was shocking. The shock made her numb and she could not even move. She just laid there trying to wake up from this violent dream. But it was not a dream, it was reality coming home with rage in its breath. The rage moved from without to within her through the air that she breathed into her lungs. The air was angry, and so was she. She turned slowly and looked at Akin. There was a look of disgust on his face and right there and then she knew that this was not the man that she wanted to have a child with. This man was not a good man anymore and could never be, at least not in her eyes. She wouldn’t forget this day forever and would not be able to pretend that it didn’t happen. She knew also that she could not be with him any longer, the rage she felt against him could not be assuaged even by the ultimate sacrifice. She broke up with him right there and then.

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Back at the birthday/ engagement party, Akin walked up to Tayo.

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Akin: Tayo, how are you?

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Tayo: Not bad! You?

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Akin: Not bad except I could use a little company….(pauses, she didn’t reply and there was this awkward silence). You must be very happy – Funmi finally gets engaged after a very long time.

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Tayo: Yes, I am very happy. Can you please excuse me – I got something to do?

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With that she walked away with Akin staring at her rear – her curves as they strained through her tight mini-skirt as she walked away. The curves were a reminder to him of what he had, what he lost and what he could never have again. He turned away and walked up to Lola.

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Akin: Lolly, how are you babe?

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Lola: I am fine

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Akin: Your husband almost found out that Abeke wasn’t his own yesterday, you know? I falsified the genotype results and told him that he was AS and that you were AC….the reason why Abeke is SC. But I think he is still suspicious. He may try to do a genotype somewhere else and he will find out that he is AA. You do not have to worry about your own genotype it is AC as indicated…(pauses). But when Yomi finds out that the baby is not his own (and he’s going to find out someday), all hell’s going to break lose. I suggest you let him know.

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Lola: Let him know? No…if I tell him – he will kill me. I don’t even know what to do.

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Akin: If I may ask – Who is the father of the baby?

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Lola: The father of the baby? (pauses) Can I trust you?

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Akin: Yes, you can trust me. I have had to bail you out many times. You have a sure confidant in me.

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Lola: The father of the baby is Wale.
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(EPISODE 4 JUST BELOW)

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3 years ago

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Lola was dressed to kill. She had on very tight body-hugging top and even tighter mini-skirt. Oh, my bad, I forgot to tell you that Lola was a very sexy girl (she is similar in shape to the attached picture). This was because she had wicked curves, curves that can make the world go round four times – once around her chest, twice around her gluteal regions, and one more time around those hips. She was the type of lady that men describe as ‘not very good-looking but dangerously sexy’…but she copiously compensated for her lack of facial beauty with a body that can make men shiver. And now imagine – she was wearing very tight clothes. Anyway, back to the story before I get carried away myself. She had knocked on the door to Funmi’s apartment. It took a while before anyone answered, and when someone did – it wasn’t Funmi. It was Wale, Funmi’s boyfriend, and he was wearing only boxers.

Lola: Hey Wale, is Funmi in?

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Wale (whistles, staring speechlessly at her as if he had just seen a mermaid – for those of you that have seen mermaids before, you understand this): Ummmmmm

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Lola: Hello…..eyes up here! (She said this because she caught his eyes drifting first to her bosom, and then to her hips, and she knew he was straining to get a view of her rear).

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Wale: She is not in. Omolola, please come in and wait for her, she won’t be long.

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Now remember this – this is not the first time that Wale had met Lola. They had been acquainted already for 2 years. BUT this was the first time that he had seen her like this. Normally she wore dresses, but today, she was something else. He moved aside to let Lola into the apartment. As she passed by him, he turned and noticed her rear as it shook in unison to the movements of her walk – the two halves of her gracious rear moved like percussion and drum in a symphony. Wale was suddenly hit hard with desire for her. She turned to face him, knowing that he would be staring at her rear and she looked down and noticed that his boxer shorts was swollen, and then it was her turn to be shocked. She whistled, and stared speechlessly at him as if she had just seen a naked angel – for those of you that have seen naked angels before you understand this. And this angel was naked, his boxers had dropped from around his waist, displaced by the turgor of what it hid – and now his secrets were opened to the air, and to her eyes. Her legs started to shake, and she needed to sit down. So this is what Funmi is enjoying, she thought to herself. She remembered that Funmi always boasted and braged to all the girls – Dupe, Tayo, and herself – that Wale was ‘something else under there’, but she thought she was just exaggerating. NOW, she realized that Funmi wasn’t exaggerating – this guy was like 3 men or more. All this time, Wale was watching her and he approached very quickly – one second, he was by the door and the next second he was right in front of her – and his boxers were still on the floor by the door. He reached out and held her waist, very roughly. She felt as if she was in the vortex of a whirlwind, in the eye of a storm, and in the raging waves of the tempest.

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Lola (shivering): Wale, I have a fiancé.

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Wale: Your fiancé is NOT here in this room.

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Lola: You have a girlfriend – who is also my bestfriend.

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Wale: My girlfriend is NOT here in this room.

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Lola: We can’t do this – it would not be right.

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Wale: THIS…(he held her hand to his tumescent member)…is not about right or wrong. THIS is about biology, chemistry, physics and geography. THIS is Biology because I reacted to you and chemistry because you reacted to me. THIS is Physics because we can feel the HEAT and the FORCES all around us right now. THIS is Geography because your body is like a beautiful landscape waiting to be explored by me. THIS is not about right and wrong. THIS is destiny – you came in here to see Funmi, but now you have met me and what I can offer you.

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Wale led her to the bedroom – Funmi’s bedroom – like fresh meat about to be butchered. And yes, he butchered her for hours – he butchered her insides. He gave her bliss, pleasure beyond imagination – during the intense encounter, she screamed for help – she screamed for her friend – she screamed for Funmi.

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That was 3 years ago. Lola collected her thoughts and snapped back to reality. But she was excited even by the memories and her legs began to shake. She reached for her husband Yomi and kissed him lightly on the cheek. They were at home. He responded to her touch. She excused herself and went into the bedroom. After a little while, she came out wearing the exact body hugging top and the tight mini-skirt which she had worn 3 years ago (see above). Yomi was excited. He carried her into the bedroom. Yomi made love to his wife. Lola reminded herself continuously not to scream out Wale’s name.

(fade)

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The motel room was alive. Ecstatic sounds and pleasure-tortured moans filled the room from the bottom to the top. Only the creaks of the bed would have belied what sort of activity this was. And then the sex was over. The man had finished too quickly. The woman had been on top and now she disembarked very slowly, rolled on her back and stared at the ceiling as if looking for something more important in the ceiling boards. She didn’t say a word. The man knew why she wasn’t talking – it was because the sex wasn’t good today and she hadn’t been satisfied. Suddenly the man felt self-conscious and inadequate. He searched his head for the right words to say.

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Chigozie: Tayo, I am very sorry that it was not very good today – I am tired from work. Please do not be upset with me.

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Tayo: Wow, 3 minutes? Is this the best you can do? You need to start exercising more – you and that your stupid fat wife. How is Dupe by the way?

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Chigozie: Which kind of silly question is that? We do not have any intimacy at all. I can not even respond when she’s around – I am impotent around her. If not of a friend like you taking care of my needs, I would have committed suicide a long time ago. You have saved my life. You are an outlet for me to release all the emotional tension I feel at home. You are a place of soccour and solace. And you are a container of pleasure. You make me feel like a rabbit – a big rabbit.

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Tayo: You mean you have not been having sex with your wife? Ha..which type of man are you? You have to meet up with your responsibilities. (pause) No wonder she is so frustrated and no wonder she is getting fatter too. Don’t you know that sex helps to burn calories and helps to keep you fit and in shape? If you want Dupe to lose weight, you know what to do. (laughs) but seeing how so fat she is you have your work cut out for you (laughs hard).

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Chigozie: (laughs hard too) Ah T-a-y-o!!! Well at least I can thank you for helping me to keep in shape for the past one year. If not of you, maybe I will be as fat as that elephant that I call my wife.

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Tayo: But seriously you have to touch her from time to time. You can close your eyes when you are making love to your wife and think of me – that way you will be able to survive the ordeal…Are you ready for another round? You better give me a good 30 minutes straight this time.

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Chigozie: Yes dear, I will give you your 30 minutes. Let me take my medicine. I will tear you into pieces and show you who your Igwe is.

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Tayo: (feigning fear) Please Igwe, be gentle with me. I am a virgin! (laughs very loud).

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(fade)

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Akin: Funmi how are you?

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Funmi: I am fine o – I am so happy. I called you here to thank you for your advice about proposing to Wale. It worked. I was very afraid and very hesitant. I asked the ladies and no one suggested that, but you know it is important to understand how a man’s mind works – it is different from a lady’s mind. Thank you for being there, thank you for great advice. I am eternally grateful to you – because of you I am engaged and will soon be Mrs Funmilade Ajao. (laughs with joy).

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Akin: You know me – anything to help a friend. So, how does it feel being engaged?

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Funmi: You cannot imagine how it feels. It feels so so so good. I am so excited I can fly.

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Akin: There is something I want to tell you…..

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But just then the phone rang and it was Wale. Funmi excused herself and walked some distance away to engage in some intimate talk. Akin watched her walk away and shook his head. She noticed that he did this and filed it away in her mind to ask him later why he did. The phone call lasted for about 20 minutes and she came back to the table.

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Funmi: sorry, it was my sweetheart who called. So you wanted to tell me something?...

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Just then the phone rang again – it was Dupe.

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(fade)

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Chigozie felt happy and bad. Happy because he had just had sex. Bad because that is how he always felt after he cheated on his wife – which was at least twice every single week (for about a year now). He felt bad because he wasn’t just cheating on her with anybody, but he was doing this with her friend Tayo. He remembered that it was Tayo who approached him sometime back in church. See, he was a deacon in the church and Tayo had come to meet him that she had a spiritual problem and she needed some counseling from him. He had agreed to meet her at her place. She then proceeded to tell him that she ‘liked’ sex a lot, and went on to describe in detail some of the things she had done. The confession became a seduction – he was aroused by her every word. And that was when it all started. The pleasure, he remembered even now, was unbelievable – Tayo was like a wild animal. He did enjoy sex with her, but he knew it had to stop. He loved his wife and he must make things right. His wife – Modupe! He felt so bad that he had hurt her very deeply with his words a few days ago – he had called her fat and boring. This was wrong! He had to apologize and make amends. He prayed for courage to be able to STOP his trysts with Tayo. Suddenly he missed his wife so much and decided he had to call her. He picked up his phone and dialed her number. The phone rang and rang, but no one picked up.

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Yomi was shocked. His doctor (not Akin) just told him that he was AA and that there was no way he could be the father of a child that was SC (the doctor had also checked Abeke, Yomi brought Abeke secretly to his doctor – he didn’t want Lola to know).

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Yomi: Oh my GOD, Abeke is not my daughter. Lola is a bloody liar.

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Doctor Ajibola: She is definitely not yours. No chance at all. BUT please be calm, you are shaking in rage, please do not do anything drastic.

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Yomi: You are asking me to be calm? How can I be calm? When I am married to a harlot! A whore. A prostitute.

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Doctor: I suggest you have a discussion with your wife and resolve this issue.

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Yomi walked out of the doctor's room angrily. He passed the room where his 'daughter' Abeke was…and he just kept walking. He didn’t stop to pick his 'daughter' up - he just left her there. A nurse saw his face and could only describe it as a ‘mask’ – she knew that this man was about to do something dangerous.

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(fade)

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Dupe was not crying anymore. She had been crying almost everyday for the past few days. But now she was smiling. She was sitting on a chair, thinking. Her phone rang and she saw that it was her husband Chigozie. She wanted to pick up the phone, but she wanted him to suffer a little for how he made her cry. And so she didn’t pick up the phone. Let it ring and ring and let him get worried, she thought. She looked at her wedding band, she would keep it on - some people take it off on a day like this. She thought about the engagement of her friend Funmi. She thought it was humiliating to see her dear friend kneeling for a man and begging to be his wife (it was supposed to be the other way round) – she was not amused or impressed. In fact, she was livid and angry. How could she do that even after all the advice she gave her. She needed to talk to her.

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Funmi: Yes Modupe.

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Dupe: Funmilade, how are you?

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Funmi: I am fine. I am actually with Akin at the moment.

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Dupe: Why did you propose to Wale? I adviced you to give him an ultimatum and let him propose but instead you buried your pride and begged him like a desperate woman to be his wife….

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Funmi: I don’t understand you o. You are supposed to be my friend. You are supposed to be happy for me. Why can’t you be happy for me. You are happily married to Chigozie and I am happy for you guys. You know I have always wanted this for a long time, and when my day finally comes, you are angry. I saw you at Wale’s birthday, you were frowning your face when I expected you to be smiling. Only Tayo was happy. …And you call yourself my friend (sobbing silently).

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Dupe: I am sorry that I was not happy to see you make a mistake. I am sorry that I was not happy to see you act desperate in front of everybody. I am sorry that you acted so naïve. But I am not sorry about what I feel about this whole thing. See, listen to me Funmilade, I am your friend, I care about you a lot. I do not trust that Wale is for you. I think he may be unfaithful.

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Funmi: OH SHUT UP!

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With this Funmi dropped the call. Dupe was so shocked – she couldn’t believe that Funmi just hung up on her like that. Their friendship was being tested with this engagement thing, she thought. Well, she will talk with Funmi again. She got off from the chair and undressed to her underwear. The man walked out of the bathroom in just his boxers – he had just taken a shower.

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Wale: Dupe, I overhead you talking with my fiancée, I hope all is well. NOW, lets have a good time. Before I went into the bathroom I ordered you to take off everything. Let us get to work.

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Please click for LIFE'S CHOICE 5

HELP 5 (CAN'T SEXUALLY RESPOND TO MY HUSBAND)

By my thinking any one of us can be silently going through terrible ordeals in our lives thinking we are alone, and believing there is no solution, no way out, well there is a way out! All you need to do is speak out or write anonymously, someone somewhere will respond to you. You are never alone, certainly not in blogsville. So I was browsing blogsville when I came across some stories. They claim to be true life stories and the writers actually need our advice. I couldnt resist but bring some of them to them to my blog so readers who have gone though a similar experience can play agony aunt and give them solutions. Or you can even give them some tough love as well. They will be published from time to time in a series titled 'HELP', this is the fourth part. You can find Help 1 Help 2 Help 3 just by a cick. Help 4 This is from a middle aged woman........................................................................................................................................................................................... “My husband and I have always had healthy sexual appetite since we got married about 30 years ago. We are now in our fifties. He is older than me by about 4 years. In fact at our early ages, we used to f*ck virtually every day. ........................................................................................................................................................................................... Any one of use could initiate sexual moves. We used various styles imaginable to spice our sex lives. We did it every where – kitchen o, sitting room o, bathroom o. No where was a taboo! We even used to f*ck in our car when on outings (it used to be all nite parties in Nigeria in the old days). But gradually as we grow older, our sex life tapered off to about 2ce a week. ........................................................................................................................................................................................... I still love my hubby very much. In fact I don’t think I can do without his company at anytime. And I know he loves me very much. My problem now is, while my husband’s sexual appetite is still relatively healthy(he still wants it once or twice a week), my own has reduced drastically. ........................................................................................................................................................................................... Actually I have little or no interest in sex again. Only my hubby now initiates sex and I only participate in a perfunctionary ways. If he doesn’t initiate sex in a month, it is like I am happy that he let me be! ........................................................................................................................................................................................... My husband now complains every time. In fact, any small gesture on his part that can lead to sex, I tend to discourage reflexively. Gestures like romancing me anywhere in the house (The kids are all gone) or kissing me, playing with my breasts etc, are the things I only allow when we are actually fucking so that he can enjoy the sex a little bit. I hardly participate. ........................................................................................................................................................................................... I know if we are in Nigeria (We now live in a Manchester suburbs), he would have gone out to play the field. What can I do? How do I rekindle my interest? He has tried several things. Blue film ni o, bought me some lingerie to wear, or tries several sex moves that can rekindle the spark. Nothing seems to work. ........................................................................................................................................................................................... Please help! What can I do?”

LIFE'S CHOICE (2)

HiPlease Click here for first part. Here is the second part of Love Under Water by Femi Job..Enjoy xxx


Before I proceed, I will introduce you to all the characters in this little drama. You have met Funmi, Dupe, Lola, Tayo and Wale. You are yet to personally meet Yomi (Lola’s husband), Akin (Tayo’s ex-fiance), Chigozie (Dupe’s husband) and Chief Ajao. There are other characters, but the aforementioned names are the characters of consequence in this story. I will advice that you pause at this juncture, take a piece of paper (or a notebook) and write these names down so that as the story goes on and gets a little bit more complicated (and it will I assure you) you will have a compass to bring everything into perspective. Now, let us get back to the story….

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Tayo: Wale, Funmi is upset that you haven’t proposed to her. I adviced her to step it up to the next level and move in with you. You know that can’t happen because you have to make out time for me always. You can give her an engagement ring to console her -- I can get you a ring to give her. (see episode 1)

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Wale: She is getting very desperate oh. I think maybe it is time to dump her….or what do you think?

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Tayo: NOOOO, you will not dump my friend o, or else I will deal with you…(laughs)

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Wale: But it is you that I want to be with. (smiles) It is you I want to wake up with, it is you I want to make love to. You know – you are way better than Funmi in bed. She just lies there like a log of wood and makes funny noises, but you…..you are the consummate professional – you know the right moves to make, the right moans and groans to express. You are a container of pleasure. Funmi is like an old cargo….very plain, very boring in bed. I am already tired. You know when I have sex with Funmi I close my eyes and think of you – that is the only way I enjoy it. Funmi is an empty shell.

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Tayo: (smiles) oooh that is so sweet….I am suddenly horny again. Come here…..

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Tayo and Wale started making love again. In the middle of it, the phone rang – Tayo’s phone. They continued the lovemaking while Tayo answered the phone.

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Funmi: Tayo

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Tayo: Fffffffunmmmmiiiii……haaaa…ummmmm…oooooooosh.

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Funmi: Tayo why are you stammering, did I catch you at a bad time?

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Tayo: No, you can talk…please talk…I ate some jalapeno pepper and it’s affecting my speech.

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Funmi: About what you said earlier. I have decided to do what you proposed – I will move in with Wale.

.

Tayo: Good, I am so happy that you made the right chooooooooooiceeeeeeeee…aaaaah.....you should call him and let him know as soon as possible…ok, I got to go now…the jalapeno pepper is very spicy it is burning up my insides.

.

.

The call ended.

.

.

Tayo: Wale, you are so gooood….Funmi will call youuuuuu…aaaah……now, and she will propose to move in. You are to tell her that you’ll think about it OK?

.

The phone rang. It was Wale’s phone.

.

.

Wale: Funmi darling, my sweetie, my lover, my friend, my companion, Ololufe mi, the one who makes my heart beat faster - the one and only lady in the world who can make me happy. …..How are you?

.

Funmi: Wale, sweetie pie, I am fine. I wanted to call you to discuss something, is this a good time?

.

Wale: This is not a good time. I am in the middle of a business meeting. I will call you back in about an hour. LOVE you!

.

Funmi: Love you too.

.

.

Wale hung up the phone just as he, and Tayo, together, reached the top of the mountain’ and they both went into a freefall through realms of pleasure until they crashed back down to earth.

.

.

(fade)

.

.

Chigozie and Dupe are laying in bed. Dupe is wearing a sexy lingerie, but Chigozie seems not to notice. Dupe brushes up against him with her legs – still he didn’t notice. Dupe proceeds to use her hands to ‘change his down-there gear to higher gear’ (don’t ask me what this means, I won’t tell!). At her touch, Chigozie responds by moving away.

.

.

Dupe: Chigozie, let’s make love!

.

Chigozie: not tonight my dear, I am tired, I have been working all day at the office.

.

Dupe: This is what you say every night – that you are tired. We have not had sex in over a year now. We are married, what is it that is the problem?

.

Chigozie: Go to sleep Dupe, there is more to marriage than just sex.

.

Dupe: I am not sexually fulfilled. I am not satisfied with your ‘work’ in the bedroom. The last time we did it (and this is eternity ago), I wasn’t satisfied. In fact, I don’t remember being ever really satisfied with you. YOU NEED TO STEP UP.

.

Chigozie: (raising his voice)… I NEED TO STEP UP OR WHAT!!!! WHAT are you going to do?

.

Dupe was about to say something, but she thought about it and chose not to say it. Chigozie was looking at her. He shook his head slowly.

.

.

Chigozie: Maybe if you were not as fat as an elephant I would enjoy making love to you too…OH yes, I said it – you just complained that you are not satisfied in bed, well, guess what – I am not satisfied too. If not of the fact that I was married to you, I won’t even sleep in the same bed with you. You married and then you ‘let yourself go’ and now you are so fat it is disgusting. If I had known that this is how you will look after 2 years of marriage, I would not have allowed you to force me to marry you – YES, we both know that you ‘forced’ me to propose to you (and marry you) with an ultimatum. Sometimes I really wish you hadn’t done that. What ‘desperate’ ladies like you do not understand is that you should allow a man to reach a decision on his own, do not cajole, coerce or compel him to marry you. Things were better between us before we married. Sometimes I wish I could go back to those days. (pauses) In fact, I am going to sleep in the parlor tonight.

.

.

Chigozie took his pillows and blankets and almost ran out of the room. Dupe wanted to tell him to wait but she was too shocked and angry to say anything. He had said very hurtful things and she wanted to hate him so much. She was living a lie, pretending to everyone that they were happily married. When he left, she started crying deep inside. The tears bubbled up from her heart and perfused her whole being, escaping out of her eyes because there was nowhere else for the tears to go. The tears fell like sudden rain, overwhelming her mind and taking all her emotions captive.

.

.

Tayo performed the pregnancy test - twice. Both came out positive. This means she was pregnant, but for who? She ran a list of all the men that she was intimate with trying to hone in on the person most likely to be the 'owner' of the pregnancy. Well, maybe Wale, maybe someone else. She went to the bar area (next to her kitchen) and fixed herself a very hard drink. One was not supposed to drink while pregnant, but who cares, she thought - she wasn't going to keep it anyway. Her phone rang - it was Lola.

.

Tayo: Omolola, how are you?

.

Lola: Hey Tayo, how are you?

.

Tayo: Fine....so, what's up?

.

Lola: Is Wale there with you?

.

Tayo (pauses): Nooooo, and why are you asking about him?

.

Lola: Nothing, I just need to speak with him. Do you have his phone number - I have the old one but I think he changed his number.

.

Tayo: I have his new number, but you know my policy - I don't give numbers out. So, what do you want to speak with him about....about what?

.

Lola: Don't worry about that....well....

.

Tayo: If you really need to speak with him, you should call Funmi. I think he's at her place at the moment.

.

Lola: No worries!

.

Tayo: What you want to say to him must not be very important or else I just told you who to call to reach him and you are hesitating? Or you don't want Funmi to know what you want to speak with Wale about? If you must reach him in a hurry, you can ask Akin for his number.

.

.

Wale and Funmi were still locked in a very tight embrace. They had just finished making love. They were at Wale's place. Wale smiled and spoke in very low tones, telling Funmi how beautiful the sex was. But she knew that it wasn't very beautiful today, for one - he was very quick. Funmi knew that Wale was the best lover in the whole world. In fact, when they started dating, it didn't take very long for them to start having sex. And when they started having sex, Funmi's life changed forever -- it was like she was born-again. She could not believe the unbelievable pleasure she felt when she 'came' - oh, and it was with Wale that she first began to enjoy sex. Before Wale, she thought sex was just something people did and pretended to really like. But Wale forced a re-definition of what sex really was - paradise unbridled, an unfolding of inner and outer bliss. This was one, amongst many other reasons, that she was not willing to leave him. Wale was her crown, and she knew that no other man could make her feel the way he did - in bed.

.

Wale: What did you want to talk to me about earlier?

.

Funmi: I wanted to know when you planned to propose to me.

.

Wale: That will be soon....don't worry I will propose to you.

.

Funmi: Wale, it's been 5 long years, don't you think that it's too long?

.

Wale: They say 7 is the perfect number....just kidding...yes, it's a long time but we love each other and that is what counts.

.

Funmi; But if you love me, you would have married me by now, wouldn't you have?

.

Wale: Love and marriage are two different things...but yes, you have a point....like I said before, don't worry, I will marry you.

.

Funmi: WHEN!

.

Wale: Soon!

.

Funmi: Soon when!

.

Wale: Please can we change this topic?

.

Funmi: Why do you always want to change the topic when we are discussing OUR future. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I have not seen my period and I may be pregnant. So, the 'soon' has to be VERY SOON.

.

.

Lola and Yomi were at the hospital. They were sitting in front of the doctor – doctor Akin (Tayo’s ex-fiance). Their daughter Abeke was sick. She was just 2 years+ old.

.

.

Doctor Akin: We need to do a blood transfusion for your daughter very quickly. We determined that your daughter is SC and she is having major anemia complications. She needs a transfusion. Her blood group is O-. She can get blood ONLY from someone who is O-. We need O- blood. We will check your blood to see if there is anyone who matches. Otherwise we will go to the blood bank.

.

Yomi: (raising his voice) Did you say SC? That cannot be. Myself and my wife are AA. We can only have a child that is AA. Plus myself and my wife are both O+, how can we have O- child. Doctor, there must be a mistake somewhere.

.

Doctor Akin: Oh, two O+ parents can have O- offspring. But regarding the genotype, I can tell the lab to check again. But you know it is possible that you are both not AA but you only think so. I will ask them to take blood samples from the both of you and check again.

.

Lola: Yomi don’t get worked up dear. It will be OK.

.

Doctor Akin took them to the lab (on the second floor of the hospital). As he was leaving, his eyes discreetly met with Lola’s (Yomi is unaware of this)….she winked and so did he.

.
.
................................................................................................. . (Please click for EPISODE 3 and 4 );-)

LIFE'S CHOICE (1)

For your reading pleasure, a very interesting story..LOVE UNDER WATER (EPISODE 1)Copyright* – Femi Job


Funmi: I really love Wale. But he hasn’t proposed (marriage). We have been going out for over 5 years now. Whenever I raise the topic about marriage, he smiles, tells me he’ll marry me and ends the conversation. I am not getting any younger. I will be 36 in June. My biological clock is already having epilepsy – I can hear the alarm bells blowing. I am like an expired drug product on a dusty shelf in a tiny unkempt medicine shop. What am I supposed to do?! How do I let him know that he has to marry me? Aaah, Tayo, Lola, won’t I marry (starts crying)!

.

.

Tayo: Funmi, stop crying! See, you have to understand some basic things. Marriage is not everything Funmi – I don’t know why you see it that way. You love Wale, Wale loves you – what more do you want to add to that? You guys have great chemistry. Your love for each other is primary, marriage is secondary, everything else is tertiary! Hang on in there. Marriage should not be rushed. GOD’s time is the best you know. So, just relax and wait for such a time that he asks you to marry him, whenever that time is – could be tomorrow, could be in the next 10 years. Do not put pressure on him. Some men do not like pressure. Plus, you know that you guys don’t have to be married to be a couple, right?

.

.

Lola: Don’t downplay the importance of marriage o. Marriage is primary. You are not really a woman until you marry. If you don’t marry you are a ‘girl’ – a small girl. Marriage is ordained by GOD and important therefore. It is only girls that have nobody to marry them that say that marriage is not important. Anyway, Funmi, my advice for you is to get pregnant for him – he will have to marry you then! It was because I got pregnant for Yomi that he proposed to me and married me o – and we are happily married!

.

.

Tayo: NOOOO, don’t get pregnant for a man you are not married to o – he’ll simply tell you to abort the thing – like Akin told me to! I am talking from personal experience (pauses)….Because hanging pregnancy on a man to make him propose marriage worked for Lola does not mean it’ll work for Funmi – it didn’t work for me….well, enough of that! Oh, back to what you just said Lola – marriage is NOT everything. In the bible, we are told that not all men (and women) need marry. The Apostle Paul wasn’t married and he said it was OK. So, that argument about marriage being important is just an argument people use to compel people to wear wedding gowns and suits – it’s all ceremony…if you don’t marry, you are a ‘lady’, if you marry you are a ‘mama’….I mean, see our friend Dupe, (she laughs and points at Dupe) before she married she was a ‘lèpa t’o bad gaaaan’…after marriage, she’s an ‘òròbò t’o nas-ty’! How good can marriage be when it turns a beautiful girl into this?….no offence meant, Dupe, but you know the point I am trying to make. So, Funmi, do not listen to Lola o….do not let anyone pressure you into marriage o. Try and enjoy the single life before you walk down that aisle…..when you walk down that aisle you are finished!!!! Plus, like I said, you don’t have to be married to be a couple.

.

.

Dupe: Haba, Tayooo, you don’t need to insult me now. I am happily married. I know I put on some weight but I will still lose all that – I will become that l’epa to baaad again, you watch me! But Funmi….regarding your case, my answer is simple – If the guy won’t propose marriage, then you have to dump him and move on. There are many men out there. Find someone who will propose marriage and marry that person. You can start by making him know that there are other guys after you. For all we know, Wale may not even marry you. My advice – give him an ultimatum, and if he doesn’t propose, then dump him. I gave my husband ultimatum before he proposed, and we are now married. I believe that if I didn’t do so, I may be like Tayo here – she doesn’t believe in marriage because she doesn’t have anybody who wants to marry her ni.

.

.

Tayo: ...but there are no other guys after Funmi. Funmi, have you considered moving in with him? I know it sounds shocking – but is it really that SHOCKING? We are in the 21st century. Things are changing. I can understand your misgivings about moving into a house with a man. But see it this way – you are moving into the house of a man that you love…a man that you will marry. See, some men will not get married unless they have to __ unless you force their hand. You visit him at his house almost every other day, and he visits you almost every other day too. You do everything together. You sleep in Wale’s bed in Wale’s house, and you guys f***, pardon my french. So, what is the difference? You can pretend that you guys are not having sex and pretend that you are a virgin and that he will come and pick you up from your father’s house. BUT that is high level hypocrisy, and you know it. You and Wale are already living like husband and wife in secret, and pretending to the whole world that you are just dating. You are as good as married my friend – so, move in with him. In this way, he will be reminded about why he MUST propose. All I am saying is that instead of making this a secret thing – which makes it look wrong – make it right. You know they say ‘anything that you do in secret must be brought out into the open’….Hey, do not live your life because of what people will say. That is not the way to live. You need to do what you feel is important, not what everybody else thinks is important.

.

.

Lola: (turns towards Tayo) Heeeey! Haaaa, Tayo, TAYO!!! Which kind of advice are you giving Funmi? That she should not consider marriage as a very important event in her life? Do you know how people look at unmarried women that are 36? They look at them as if they are unfortunate. I am married and I can tell you that marriage is a very beautiful thing. How can she move in with a man she’s not married to? Funmi, do not listen to Tayo o - she will mislead you.

.

.

Funmi: (turning towards Lola) THANK YOU JARE! (turns towards Tayo) Moving in? GOD forbid! How can I move in with a man that am not married too. That is high level fornication. ….how can you even suggest such a thing to me! Which kind of advice are you giving me? Move in with a man? Everybody will know that we are ‘banging’! Make you no turn your friend to ‘ashawo’ o. I am a born-again sister….

.

.

Tayo: (cuts in) …you are a born-again sister that is 35 years old and unmarried – you should know that you are not doing something right. With all the ‘brothers’ out there, you are still consoling yourself that you are OK! And you are doing ‘holy-holy’, as if you are a virgin. You are already fornicating, so cut out the bulls***. There is no virgin in this room (refers to all the ladies), and even Lola and Dupe were not virgins before they married, abi I lie? In fact (laughing), Lola and Dupe are lucky that their husbands did not know which kind of lifestyle they lived before they married them, abi I lie? Haaa (digresses) If only Dupe’s husband knew that she was ‘ashawo’ before he married her (laughing)

.

.

Dupe: (raising her voice) It seems as if you are just trying to insult me today. What is your problem?! Something is wrong with you! Or you are jealous because I married before you? You are jealous because I married a very good brother unlike your own Akin, abi? The past is the past……we are not talking about me (or Lola), we are talking about Funmilade. (pauses)…you know you are likely never going to get married. You are a prostitute pretending to be a lady. Where I am from, prostitutes do not give advice. You sleep with every man you date and you move in with every man that fancies you. You even do one-night stands. I don’t know what we are supposed to call you. You are worse than a dog…you are just unfortunate. You need to change yourself, and then maybe some guy will even THINK about marrying you. So, SHUT your mouth, and let the sane people give Funmilade advice. You should not even be talking.

.

.

The whole room fell silent. There were some words exchanged (words not appropriate to write). Tayo stormed out, shaking with rage and anger. Lola followed her. Dupe hissed and turns to Funmi.

.

.

Dupe: As I was saying before that idiot opened her stinking mouth -- You need to have a serious discussion with Wale. Let him know how you feel. Let him know that you are not getting any younger. And then give him an ultimatum...if he doesn't propose, then it is not meant to be. If a man loves you, he won't keep you waiting forever. 5 years is a very long time to wait for a proposal'

.

.

(fade)



Tayo was at home. She was still angry…and bitter. How dare Dupe address her like that. Then she picked up her phone and dialed Funmi.

.

Funmi: Hello…..Tayo

.

.

Tayo: Hey, as I was saying before – I think you should move in with Wale – that is the only REAL advice that I can give you. I know that you love him and he loves you. Lola is talking nonsense about you getting pregnant for Wale…it’s not time for that yet. Dupe is talking nonsense about you dumping Wale – she doesn’t want you to be happy and she’s trying to make you sabotage your relationship. Lola’s and Dupe’s views are both extremist views, mine is more realistic and straightforward.

.

.

Funmi: Thank you so much Tayo, I will think deeply about what you said. OK.

.

.

They exchanged pleasantries and the call ended. Tayo looked at her wristwatch – the time was 4’48pm – she dialed a number.

.

.

Tayo: Hey sugar, I am feeling very horny. Can you come over right now!

.

.

The response was what she wanted. She spent the next 20 minutes tidying up her apartment. At 5’15 pm there was a knock on the door. She jumped on the man and they started kissing hungrily. They undressed even before they got into the bedroom and they made love. (I can’t give you the details -- too x-rated -- just that it was very wild). As they lay in bed, spent after an intense session, Tayo decided to speak her mind - to punctuate the pleasured breathing that escaped from their bodies.

.

.

Tayo: Wale, Funmi is upset that you haven’t proposed to her. I adviced her to step it up to the next level and move in with you. You know that can’t happen because you have to make out time for me always. You can give her an engagement ring to console her -- I can get you a ring to give her.

.

.

Please click here for Life's Choice 2

HELP 4 (A HUSBAND'S BETRAYAL)

Hello Dear Patient Reader ;) By my thinking any one of us can be silently going through terrible ordeals in our lives thinking we are alone, and believing there is no solution, no way out, well there is a way out! All you need to do is speak out or write anonymously, someone somewhere will respond to you. You are never alone, certainly not in blogsville. So I was browsing blogsville when I came across some stories. They claim to be true life stories and the writers actually need our advice. I couldnt resist but bring some of them to them to my blog so readers who have gone though a similar experience can play agony aunt and give them solutions. Or you can even give them some tough love as well. They will be published from time to time in a series titled 'HELP', this is the fourth part. You can find Help 1 Help 2 Help 3 just by a cick. So here is another one of the stories, names adjusted for obvious reasons, published unedited, all words are exactly as she wrote it...

SHE WROTE: My husband came home one night calm and happy, I was surprised but happy. He's been out of control for sometime now, actually since I lost my dad two years ago. He became the CEO since my dad died, it was on the will for my husband to become the CEO and my baby brother the Managing director. I've done everything in my power to make things right but whatever I do is not good enough. This wasn't the same Tayo that I married. My parents were rich but their two children were trained well. I was working in my dad's company until I had my second child. My dad told me to stay at home and take care of the kids because I refused to get a maid and my grandma that was helping passed away at the time.(I lost my mom five years ago too) I enjoyed every minute of being a wife and a mom until I lost my dad. My husband came in that fateful day about three months ago, looked at me and said "I don't love you Kemi, I never did. I appreciate everything you have done but it is time I move on with my life. You can stay in this house, keep the cars and I'll arrange for monthly allowance for you and the kids. If your brother agrees with my lawyer's terms, I'll pay him generously for his share in the company. Thanks to your father, I owe the 70% of the company. Don't try to fight this, it is clearly written in your father's will." I woke up the following day at the hospital and by my side was dad's lawyer, she looked at me and smiled! Two weeks later, the lawyer came to see me at home and to my surprise, she brought with her a letter handwritten by my dad. I wish I could hug dad at that very minute. There was a clause in the will, if Tayo leaves me without any fault of mine or if he dies before me, I have to take over the company. Dad knew I could handle it, I've been working in the company since my first year in the university! Tayo came to the house two days after I saw dad's letter, begging me to forgive him. Why should I take him back please? We are not divorce yet but his girlfriend was living with him in my father's house when he moved out. My pastor is telling me to take him back because we have three kids together. I'm not confused on what to do but they are all getting on my nerves now. How do I tell the Pastor to mind his business please?

...aaaaaaaand on a lighter note...PATIENCE JONATHAN'S TOP 15 HITS

,
1. My husband and Sambo is a good people.
2. The President was once a child and the Senators were once a children.
3. My fellow widows.
4. A good mother takes care of his children.
5. The people sitting before you were once a children.
6. Yes we are all happy for the effort, it is not easy to carry second in an International competition like this one, (addressing press men after Female Under- 19 FIFA World Cup).
7. The bombers who born them?
Wasn't it not a woman? They were once a children now a adult now they are bombing women and children making some children a widow.
8. My heart feels sorry for these children who have become widows for loosing their parents for one reason or another.
9. We should have love for our fellow Nigerians irrespective of their NATIONALIT Y.
10. Thank God the Doctors and Nurses are responding to treatment.
11. I would rather kill myself instead of committing suicide.
12. Ojukwu is a great man, he died but his manhood lives on.
13. President did not eaten since morning
14 I donate me and my family on behalf of N20million'

"THROUGH A RAPIST'S EYES" (PLS TAKE TIME TO READ THIS. it may save a life.)

It seems that alot of attackers use some tactic to get away with violence. Not many
people know how to take care of themselves when faced with such a
situation. Everyone should read this especially each n every girl in this world.


THOUGHT THIS WAS GOOD INFO TO PASS ALONG...
FYI - Through a rapist's eyes! A group of rapists and date rapists in
prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim
and here are some interesting facts:

1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle.
They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid
or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to
go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common
targets.

2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women
who's clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors
around to cut clothing.

3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through
their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are
off guard and can be easily overpowered.

4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is
grocery store parking lots.

5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.

6] Number three is public restrooms.

7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman
and quickly move her to a second location where they don't have to
worry about getting caught.

8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged
because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going
after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas,or
other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their
hands.

10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to
the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince
these guys you're not worth it.

POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:

1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or
with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask
them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk:
can't believe it is so cold out here, we're in for a bad winter. Now
that you've seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up,
you lose appeal as a target.

2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of
you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to
said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would
not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY
target.

3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of
it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER
SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

4] If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can
do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from
behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and
armpit or in the upper inner thigh - HARD. One woman in a class this
guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was
trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin
and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching
yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.

5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a
particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it
is extremely painful. You might think that you'll anger the guy and
make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our
instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of
trouble. Start causing trouble, and he's out of there.

6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers
and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing
down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using
much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked
audibly.

7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of
your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any
odd behavior, don't dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel
little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really
was trouble.

FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL ....
I know you are smart enough to know these pointers but there will be
some, where you will go "hmm I must remember that" After reading,
forward it to someone you care about, never hurts to be careful in
this crazy world we live in.

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your
body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.

2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks
for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from
you.... chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or
purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN
THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back
tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like
crazy. The driver won't see you but everybody else will. This has
saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating,
working, etc., and just sit
(doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS! The
predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for
him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell
you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or
parking garage:

a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be
hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the
passenger side floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE
RIDING A TAXI CAB) .

b. If you! u are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the
passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling
them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their
cars.

c. Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and
the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest
your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a
guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE
THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are
horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS
RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times;
And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may
get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a
good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies
of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often
asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when
he abducted his next victim.

I'd like you to forward this to all the women you know. It may save a
life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle. I was going
to send this to the ladies only, but guys, if you love your mothers,
wives, sisters, daughters, etc., you may want to pass it onto them, as
well.

Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the
world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it's better safe than
sorry.

If u have a heart or compassion share this

WE CAN SHARE JOKES AND SPAM MAILS TO OUR FRIENDS & NETWORKS
PLEASE FOR ONCE SHARE THIS AND
LETS TRY TO HELP THEM.

‘Helping hands are better than Praying Lips’ – give us your helping hand.
SHARE IT WITH ALL UR FRIENDS.

AT LEAST PEOPLES WILL KNOW WATS GOING IN WORLD.

Friends So Please Share....Your one share can Help to spread this information.

THOUGHT PROVOKING ARTICLE-->"I'm currently an active pastor and I'm also an atheist,"

Just to start by saying, I empathise with the lady in this article. While I dont think I can ever be an atheist, I guess a build up of events within her immediate society ultimately led to her decision.

I personally find myself having issues with organised religion. I find myself questioning the antics of the leaders of some of these religious institutions. I feel there is a lot of wickedness and double standards originating from those buildings and spilling into the larger society.

The strange thing is that in the more secular society I have lived in, some of the religious insitutions, where available, are very concerned and are even supportive of the welfare of their members,their general society and even reaching out to countries beyond their borders displaying the selfless and loving attitude that are part of the tenets of their religious beliefs.

But in contrast, some of the religious institutions within the African American Society appear to be consumed with prosperity for prosperity sake. Then speaking of Nigeria, some of the religious bodies here appear to focus more on enriching the immediate family/social circle of the founding members, by 'inducing' the general members to part with certain material and financial possessions than having any meaningful impact in the heavily impoverished larger society..its a complex problem.
That said, I remain a person of faith, I dont think I can ever question the existence of God at all. Anyway thats my view, readers, do meet Theresa...

Teresa MacBain has a secret, one she's terrified to reveal..."I'm currently an active pastor and I'm also an atheist," she says. "I live a double life. I feel pretty good on Monday, but by Thursday — when Sunday's right around the corner — I start having stomachaches, headaches, just knowing that I got to stand up and say things that I no longer believe in and portray myself in a way that's totally false."

MacBain glances nervously around the room. It's a Sunday, and normally she would be preaching at her church in Tallahassee, Fla. But here she is, sneaking away to the American Atheists' convention in Bethesda, Md.

Her secret is taking a toll, eating at her conscience as she goes about her pastoral duties week after week — two sermons every Sunday, singing hymns, praying for the sick when she doesn't believe in the God she's praying to. She has had no one to talk to, at least not in her Christian community, so her iPhone has become her confessor, where she records her private fears and frustrations.

"On my way to church again. Another Sunday. Man, this is getting worse," she tells her phone in one recording. "How did I get myself in this mess? Sometimes, I think to myself, if I could just go back a few years and not ask the questions and just be one of those sheep and blindly follow and not know the truth, it would be so much easier. I'd just keep my job. But I can't do that. I know it's a lie. I know it's false."

MacBain made that recording in her car on the way to Lake Jackson United Methodist Church several weeks before the American Atheists' conference.Teresa MacBain's husband, Ray MacBain, says he still believes in God but defends his wife's right not to.


Finding Atheism

MacBain, 44, was raised a conservative Southern Baptist. Her dad was a pastor and she felt the call of God when she was 6. She had questions, of course, about conflicts in the Bible, for example, or the role of women. She says she sometimes felt she was serving a taskmaster of a God, whose standards she never quite met.

For years, MacBain set her concerns aside. But when she became a United Methodist pastor nine years ago, she started asking sharper questions. She thought they'd make her faith stronger.

"In reality," she says, "as I worked through them, I found that religion had so many holes in it, that I just progressed through stages where I couldn't believe it."

The questions haunted her: Is Jesus the only way to God? Would a loving God torment people for eternity? Is there any evidence of God at all? And one day, she crossed a line.

"I just kind of realized — I mean just a eureka moment, not an epiphany, a eureka moment — I'm an atheist," she says. "I don't believe. And in the moment that I uttered that word, I stumbled and choked on that word — atheist."

But it felt right.

About a year ago, MacBain found The Clergy Project, an anonymous online community of clergy who have lost their faith. Now she had allies, but no easy escape. She began applying for jobs, but when prospective employers asked why she wanted to leave the ministry, she didn't know what to say. She recorded her worries on her iPhone.



"So what the hell am I supposed to do?" she asks in one recording, her voice sounding desperate. "Really, the options are work at something like Starbucks or McDonald's — and even there they're going to ask those questions. I could even clean houses and not make a great amount of money — but at least nobody would be asking me questions."

Driving to church on Sunday, March 18, MacBain realized she could no longer bear her double life.

"I got to come out. I got to get out of it," she told her phone. "It used to terrify me, what people's reaction would be. But it's been so long now and I've done this for so long, I don't even care."



The sermon she gave that day was her last....The 'Freedom' Of Coming Out

On March 26, at the American Atheists' convention in Bethesda, MacBain seems almost giddy. The day before, she decided she would go before the conference's 1,500 or so nonbelievers and announce that she is officially an atheist.

"I am nervous," she says, "but at the same time I am so excited. I slept like a baby last night because I knew I wasn't going to have to live a lie anymore. Such freedom."

Moments later, in the darkened, cavernous conference room, MacBain steps onstage.

"My name is Teresa," she begins. "I'm a pastor currently serving a Methodist church — at least up to this point" — the audience laughs — "and I am an atheist."

Hundreds of people jump to their feet. They hoot and clap for more than a minute. MacBain then apologizes to them for being, as she put it, "a hater."

"I was the one on the right track, and you were the ones that were going to burn in hell," she says. "And I'm happy to say as I stand before you right now, I'm going to burn with you."

A few minutes later, MacBain strides off the stage into a waiting crowd. One man is crying as he tells her that her speech is "one of the most moving things I've seen in years." Another woman says she, too, had been a born-again Christian. "Join the club," she says as she hugs MacBain.

"I have never felt so appreciated and cared for, you know?" MacBain says later, noting that she has left one community — Christianity — for another. "New member, just been born — that's what it feels like."

Teresa MacBain has been out of work since leaving her position as a Methodist pastor earlier this year.

The Fallout
Two days later, MacBain returned to Tallahassee — and to reality.

"I didn't know how far or how explosive her coming out would be, but, then again, nobody did," says MacBain's husband, Ray MacBain. "The next morning, we got up, I went to work and my son Alex texted me and said it went viral."

The local TV station, WCTV, ran a series of stories about MacBain, interviewing her boss but never MacBain herself. Hundreds of people wrote comments on the site, and MacBain says they were painful to read.

"The majority of them, to begin with, were pretty hateful," she says, although some nonbelievers soon came to her defense. "For somebody who's been a good guy their whole life and been a people pleaser, it's really hard to imagine that overnight you're the bad guy."

MacBain tried to see the church's district superintendent to explain, but he canceled the meeting. She was immediately locked out and replaced, so she flew out to Seattle to meet with her colleagues at The Clergy Project. There, sitting alone in her hotel room on Palm Sunday, MacBain again turned to her iPhone.

"I don't want to go home," she muses in the recording, deflation flattening her voice. "I don't want to have to be in Publix or Wal-Mart or somewhere and worry about who's going to see me and who's going to corner me and just tell me off."

But MacBain did go home. People shunned her. Job interviews were canceled. The Humanists of Florida Association offered to pay her salary for a year, but there's no guarantee. Only two of MacBain's friends called her and took her to lunch. Meanwhile, her family was a refuge, even if they didn't all agree with her new views.

"I believe in God," says her husband, Ray. "And to be honest, I pray for her every night, I got friends praying for her."

But he says he adores his wife and defends her right to disbelieve. "That's why I spent 23 years in the Army. That's why I'm still a police officer. We have freedom of speech and freedom of thought. And God never forced anybody to believe, so who am I to step up?"

MacBain says she is still adjusting to life outside the church.'Life Is Just Different'A few minutes later, Teresa MacBain goes for a drive to the church at the center of her story. She says she has butterflies — this is the first time she's seen her church since she went public. Its 11:20 a.m., nearly time for the sermon. She's glad she's not inside.

"Not because of the people or anything," she says, "but because if I were in there, I know what I'd be doing. And that would be standing up and proclaiming something that I no longer believe in. So, yeah, I'm relieved that I don't have to do that."

Back at home, MacBain doesn't hesitate when she's asked what she misses most about her old life.

"I miss the music," she says. MacBain sang in church choirs and worship bands most of her life, and even though she no longer believes the words, she still catches herself singing praise songs.

She says she also misses the relationships — she'll often pick up the phone to call someone, then realize she can't. And she misses the ritual and regularity of church life.

"It's what I know. It's what I knew. And I still struggle with it. Life is just different," she says.

When it's pointed out that she hasn't said whether or not she misses God, MacBain pauses.

"No, no," she says. "I can't say that I do."

Barbara Bradley Hagerty
Source: From Minister To Atheist- A tale of loosing faith

I DECLARE THAT YOU WILL NEVER BE DENIED VISA..HOLD YOUR INTERNATIONAL PASSPORTS..(na wa)

Interesting stuff from here

‘I hope you all brought your International Passports as we announced last week. Everybody, raise your International Passports. Lift it high to the heavens.

I decree and declare that, in Jesus name, your passports will never be denied visa. Favour will accompany your passport wherever it gets to in Jesus name.

You have to be careful of the people you allow to touch your passport. Some of you allow people touch your passports anyhow, not knowing that those people want to draw you back in life. They don’t want you to have the opportunity to travel so that life can be good for you. So they rub fetish things on their hands and touch your passport and that is why you keep getting denied visa.

Now, raise your passport again. I cancel the effects of every negative contact your passport has made. I decree and declare that you will never be denied visa anywhere your passport reaches, in Jesus name.

I challenge you today, after this anointing service, go and apply for that visa. You and all your family. You won’t be denied.’

This is just a brief summary of the exact scenario I witnessed in a church recently.

Is it just me or is there something wrong with this scene? If we don’t think there’s something wrong with it, then maybe we are facing a bigger problem than I envisaged. This is the level of desperation that the Nigerian system has subjected its citizens to. A life where 6 months Visa has now become a prayer point. And when the Visa is obtained, the whole church dances as a show of thanksgiving for 5 minutes. It is not a good sight to behold. This is synonymous to misery. Where going to another man’s land has become the main essence of some people’s Christianity.

At this service, I could see the reactions of the congregation to these prayer points. The zeal was apparent on their faces, as they lifted their passports high. They kept shaking their head and prayed fervently to God to make the ‘impossible to become possible.’

In my own opinion, some people have decided to take advantage of the vulnerability of suffering Nigerians and used it to trivialize the Christian walk. We now conduct International Passport anointing services. The pastor here portrayed the situation like getting out of Nigeria is synonymous to living a better life. It was as if, once you get out of the country, your life will suddenly be better. There was no talk of job opportunities there, no talk of education, nothing. Just get out of Nigeria and you will immediately start walking on streets of gold.

They failed to mention that the reason why some Nigerians are being denied Visas is because they don’t fill their forms accurately. Some don’t have enough means to take care of themselves when they get to this ‘Promised Land’, some don’t even have where to stay when they get there. But we must all try their luck and apply, mustn’t we? Who knows, the anointing might work when they CES officer sees our passport, so he will refuse to check our application and automatically give us Visa to his country. And woe betide us if we are denied, oh well, the witches caused it.

Well, as it is the culture of the average Nigerian to blame someone, I must also look for someone or something to blame for this appalling scenario I witnessed. But who? Is it the government that doesn’t ensure that Nigeria is not a country in which every single citizen is dying to run out of? Is it the pastor that has decided to base his anointing on anointing passports, rather than people?

After all, he must make a living. Or is it the desperate citizens that have decided to turn a blind eye to the endless opportunities in this country, even though it seems like we are going down by the minute? Who exactly will my blame wand point to if I spin it? Well, I refuse to spin it for now. After all, the saying goes, it is the instrument of your need that God will use to draw you closer to him. And what is the need for most Nigerians now? Visa to the Promised Land.

By Atilola Moronfolu

CORNY PICK UP (TOASTING) LINES...that actually worked!!!

Ladies, these are some pick up lines, you have fallen for some or some of you fallen for none and still standing..Which would you fall for and guys which would you use if you had to ? or better yet, give us some of your pick up lines ever used, on a male for females, and on females for males....

1. The corny-but-cute hello:
“This guy who was so not my style came over to me and my friends and asked: ‘Do you happen to know how much a polar bear weighs?’ We said ‘no’ and kept walking, and then he said, ‘Well, it’s enough to break the ice. Hi, I’m Brian.’ We all cracked up and kept talking to him.” The nonsensical approach:
“This random guy came up to me at a party, looked me straight in the eyes and said, ‘Baby, you’re sexier than socks on a rooster.’ I had absolutely no idea what he meant, but I thought it was funny and I liked how unusual it was. It got us talking, trying to figure out what that line meant!”

2. The mom-approved intro:
“I was at a local bar one night, and this guy sat next to me and said, ‘Would it freak you out if I said that I’ve already told my mother about you?’ I said, ‘No, why?’ Then he told me that he’d actually stepped outside, called his mother and asked her how to approach me. I thought it was adorable that he was a mama’s boy.”
—

3. The “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” method:
“I fought tooth and nail with a guy over a parking space and won. When I came back out to my car, there was a note on it that said, ‘I like your style. Call me.’ It was very unexpected, and I loved the approach. See, it pays to be a lover and a fighter.”
—

4. The win-her-with-flattery strategy:
“This poker party I was at started to get very crowded. As a group of girls walked in, this guy came up behind me and said, ‘I think you’re going to be asked to leave soon. You’re so pretty, you’re putting all the other women to shame.’ I tend to be very shy, so his compliment really helped crack my shell.”
—

5. The line with artistic flair:
“I was shooting pool with friends, and some guys offered us a friendly challenge. Midway through the game, one of them looked at me and said, ‘Do you remember Crayola crayons? Well, they used to have this color called Blizzard Blue. It was my favorite color, and your eyes are actually Blizzard Blue.’ I thought it was so cute! He had me right there.”
—

6. The overly confident come-on:
“I was at an office party when a guest of a coworker introduced himself and said, ‘Blueberries or strawberries?’ Confused, I asked what he meant, and he replied, ‘I just want to know what kind of pancakes to make you in the morning.’ He said it with such a straight face that it was like a scene in a funny movie. I didn’t eat breakfast with him, but I did give him my number.”
—

7.Hey, if I kiss you, will I get slapped?” He did kiss the girl in question, but he didn’t suffer for it afterward.
Which would you like? Have a great day!

RAPE AND PAEDOPHILIA: Some tips to reduce this evil!!

*I read this elsewhere and thought to share.Its certainly not 100% foolproof but it sure helps*



1.Warn your girl/ child never to sit on anyone’s laps no matter the situation including uncles.

2.Avoid getting dressed in front of your child once he/she is 2years old. Learn to excuse yourself.

3.If you have to hire a house-help please kindly take them for HIV screening to determine their HIV status, properly interview them and make up your mind to treat them well. Remember that the more you ill-treat your helps, the more your child will be ill-treated by the helps when you are not in. Some househelps don’t have to beat the children so you may not find scars but the child’s food may be mixed with spit, urine or feces and that would make the child sickly.

4.Never allow any adult refer to your new born as ‘my wife’ or ‘my husband’

5.Never tempt your husband with your younger female family members

6.Avoid unnecessary familiarity and make sure you take care of your husband by yourself lest you lead him into temptation.

7.Whenever your child goes out to play with friends make sure you look for a way to find out what kind of play they played together because young people now sexually abuse themselves.

8.Never force your child to visit any adult he or she is not comfortable with and also be observant if your child becomes too fond of a particular adult.

9.Once a very lively child suddenly becomes withdrawn you might need to patiently ask a lot of questions from your child

10.If you don’t teach your children about sex the society will teach them the wrong values.

11.It is always advisable you go through any new material like cartoons you just bought for them before they start seeing it themselves.

12.Teach your 6 year olds how to wash their private parts properly and warn them never to allow anyone touches those areas and that includes you.

13.Blacklist some materials you think could threaten the sanity of your child (that includes music, movies and musicians) and let them understand the value of standing out of the crowd.

14.Once your child complains about a particular person, don’t keep quiet about it. Take up the case and show them you can defend theM

Do you think it helps?? Have any more tips to add?

TEN THINGS NEVER TO SAY IN BED

....as discovered in cyberville



1. “What did you eat for dinner?”

You know this is really just a nice way of saying “baby your breath stinks”, and trust us, he’ll know it too. Unless you want him to stop kissing you altogether, this is one thought you should keep to yourself.

2. "Is that it?"

Yet another ego-crushing blow you shouldn’t strike with during sex. If you care about him, you won’t go there. No man’s at the top of his game all the time - are you? Cut him some slack.

3. "Did you pay that bill?"

If you’re thinking about finances in the middle of sex, you’re definitely not enjoying yourself – no question. He will instantly feel that he’s failed you.

4. "Stop sweating on me!"

Nobody wants to sleep with a diva. If you want to get hot and heavy without getting hot and sweaty something’s wrong.

5. "It could be better!"

In the heat of the moment, a man will undoubtedly ask you at least once if you’re enjoying the experience. This is not the time to crush his ego. If you’re truly not satisfied, save your opinions for a conversation when you’re both wearing clothes okay?

6. "Hold on, let me get that!"

If the sex is great, you shouldn’t even realize the phone is ringing, never mind want to answer it. Think about it. How would you feel if he stopped to grab his phone? Exactly!

7. "Are you done yet?"

Translation: “I didn’t want to do this anyway, so can you hurry up and finish already.” This is what we like to call an instant mood killer.

8. “You used to be better at that.”

Again, no one is great in bed all the time. How would you feel if he said this to you? This will make your lover instantly insecure, which can create a problem that will carry over to the next time, and the time after that. Be kind!

9. “Oh [name that’s not his]!”

Never mind how obviously inappropriate this would be, if you can’t remember who you’re sleeping with, you shouldn’t be sleeping with anyone at all.

10. “Are you sure the kids are sleeping?”

No man, or woman for that matter, will want their blissful sex thoughts interrupted by thoughts of their kids. Check on this beforehand, and be sure the coast is clear.

Four-Year-Old Girl 'Genius' Joins Mensa

A four-year-old who can already add, subtract, draw figures, write in sentences and read advanced books has become one of the youngest members of Mensa.



Heidi Hankins sat an IQ test after nursery teachers said they were struggling to find activities to keep her challenged.
The average IQ score for an adult is 100 but the exceptional youngster achieved a staggering 159 points - just one mark shy of scientist Albert Einstein.

She beat number cruncher Carol Vorderman (154 points) and is only slightly behind Big Bang physicist Stephen Hawking (160 points).


Heidi's father Matthew, from Winchester, Hants, is hoping she can skip a year when she starts school to ensure she does not become bored.

The Southampton University lecturer, 47, said: "We always thought Heidi was bright because she was reading early. I was curious about her IQ and the results were off the scale.

"I got her the complete set of the Oxford Reading Tree books when she was two and she read through the whole set of 30 in about an hour. It's what you would expect a seven-year-old to do."


He said Heidi is a head taller than her classmates, and at 115cm (3ft 10in) more physically resembles an average six-year-old.

Dr Hankins added: "We don't push Heidi at all. She has taken up everything herself and teaches herself.Click to see more

I wish we all have children like this!

The real Madonna?

Madonna needs no introduction. Inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in March of 2008, she has sold over 63 million albums with 12 No. 1 hits. She’s recorded 11 studio albums with two additional live albums and three soundtracks.

Madonna is arguably one of the most accomplished female artists of all time, but not so much as a talented actress. She had parts in flicks like A League of Their Own and Evita.

Here she is without makeup.Looking nice!

HELP (3) Spiritual battle!

Hi

Following this and this story. Here is one more unedited and true story of suffering and faith that touches the heart.




I was born around 1968 and married my high school sweetheart at the age of 20. A day before the traditional marriage, somebody from my father's side of the family confronted me and said it would be over her dead body before I will have any children since I chose to marry before some of my elders who were still unmarried. I gave my life to Jesus that same year and started praying. I was unable to have children until this woman died after FIVE years of marriage.
On February 22nd, 1989, I fell into an Aquarium glass that almost killed me at Fola Agoro where I was working then as a sales representative, while I was in the hospital, a family member showed up in my dream and said I would not survive the attack. I prayed fervently and asked the Lord to take care of the situation. I survived. (The person died).
In 1992, ( I forgot the exact date), somebody threatened to kill me in my dream, when I woke up, I prayed that God should deliver me from this attack. I went later that day to Mosafejo Market in Oshodi and fell into a big Canal where you board Ketu busses. It took three strong men to drag me out of that pit. I survived again.
Two years after I joined my husband in the States, I had a terrible dream that I was being deported even though I had a "Green Card". On May 31st, 1997, three months after the dream, we visited Nigeria, and my husband left and ran away leaving me and our 3 years old son. God used my boss, Rev. Bosun Ayinde and his wife, Mrs. Peju Ayinde, of Akinola Cole Crescent, Ikeja, with the help of Immigration Officer Popoola and Custom Officer Nta to get me back to the United States after two and a half months of suffering and struggling.
On June 3rd, 2003, after two days of another terrible dream from these wicked people, my three children with their father, (my new husband) were involved in a terrible car accident. All hope were lost, but I cried to Almighty God who performed the greatest miracle of all! Everybody Survived!!! I continued praying and fasting.
On February 25, 2008, I saw in my vision, these wicked spirits told me that they will not rest until they destroy me. I responded that the Lord God whom I serve everyday will avenge and vindicate me as I never do anything do them, and that God will fight my battle for me. The next day, at 6:30am, there was a terrible storm in Atlanta that destroyed GA Dome and World Congress Center. Unfortunately my home was among those that were destroyed. To God be the glory, my three children and their father survived the disaster (I was at work). Halleluyah!!!
The Bible says many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord his God delivered him from them all.
My brethren, this is the reason I fight and seek the destruction of my enemies and I also extend these prayers to others who might be going through what I have been through.
I pray that the Lord who had delivered me from all these calamities will deliver you too in Jesus name. Amen.
-------------------------


As written by Taibatu O.O.

8 things Men (claim) they want Women to know!!

What is a man really thinking. For just about forever, women have tried to interpret the male species. While, in theory, every man is different, research has found a number of surprising parallels. From his fear of commitment to his fondness for cuddling, certain emotions cause many men to freeze up rather than open up.
Here are some of the top secrets your guy may be keeping from you:

1. Saying "I love you" is complicated.

Those “three little words” could be the most complex in the English language. While some men prematurely pull the trigger on the "L word" (a recent study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that guys tend to say “I love you” first, often driven by the idea that their partner will be more likely to have sex with them) — other guys just aren’t that good at getting the words out. Instead, they show their love through their actions. How can you know for sure? Those actions may be a truer indicator of his feelings than any passion-fueled colloquy, says Irina Firstein, LCSW, a relationship counselor who has advised couples in New York City for more than 20 years.

2. Commitment really does scare me.


Men often have a harder time picking up on subtle relationship cues — and because of this, your man may not be aware of the point in which your bond has moved to a higher expectation of commitment. In fact, some guys get anxious about becoming attached, even if they seem to enjoy the relationship. "Men often 'rubber band,' withdraw, or pull back if they feel like the relationship has moved beyond

beyond their comfort zone," Firstein notes. This new territory can take a man by surprise — even if you felt like he was forging ahead at the same pace you were.

3. I get performance jitters.

Do men think about sex a lot? Sure they do, but their fears of sexual inadequacy may be just as frequent. If a man has ever had an unsuccessful go at sex (and most of them have! — flopped romps can be triggered by common missteps such as drinking too much), his stress in the bedroom can stockpile — which can eventually lead to sexual dysfunction. Many men will even avoid sex rather than talk honestly about their fears with their partner, and this can harm both the sexual health and the emotional health of a relationship.

4. I'm not crazy about monogamy.

Some men stay mum about the extent of their sexual desires. "Freedom, and particularly sexual freedom, and variety are typically more important to men than to women,” says Firstein. “Many married men feel that they love their wives and, at the same time, have no problems cheating." This difference between men and women can be one of the most damaging to a couple because of the sense of betrayal it can create (even if he never actually strays).

5. I wants you to initiate sex sometimes.

You may think sexual desire is hard-wired in men, but with every attempt at turning you on comes a threat of rejection — even in the most established relationships. That’s why it’s such a turn-on when a woman makes the moves, allowing him to skip the risk altogether. And it’s not just sex he wants: One recent study from the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University actually found that cuddling and caressing in a relationship are more important to men than women.

6. I'm depressed.

Depression has no gender bias: It can strike anyone, including the most macho of men. However, studies show that men who are depressed are less likely to open up about their sadness or lack of energy than women. Instead, they are more likely to avoid sex, say they’re overtired, or drink more. "Some men are uncomfortable about feeling sad, and their sadness or depression may come out as anger," warns Firstein. Depression is one of the most dangerous secrets a man can keep, so if you think a male in your life could be depressed, it’s important to let him know that you’re concerned.

7. I'm afraid of my own feelings.

Many men just don't handle their feelings, such as doubt, very well, and tend to have a hard time opening up. "Because many men are problem solvers and are uncomfortable talking about feelings, there are a number of intense feelings that don't get expressed with words, but rather acted out," notes Firstein. The good news? Men aren’t Neanderthals. The emotions are there; they just need to be uncovered. And if ‘fessing up about his feelings remains a stumbling block, he may need to seek relationship advice from a professional.

Another BIG secret men keep?

Men need (and want) intimacy just as much as women do. Mutual respect, trust, support, and communication — these relationship musts are just as important for a man's emotional and sexual health as they are for a woman's. When both partners are able to open up and let their relationship develop at its own pace, that love will be nurtured by positivity — rather than stunted by secrets.

Source: (BlackDoctor.org) 7 Things Men Hide From Women