
Don't ever fly BELLVIEW! why, ? well,     
Scene 1 My intention was to travel to the United Kingdom to spend my holiday of 2 weeks
 with my sister and her family and maybe, do a spot of
 shopping and some other
 stuff. I began with phone calls to some travel agent and
 their responses were
 all similar. They told me Virgin and B.A were fully booked
 (by the very rich or
 timely, I suppose) and my options were limited to Arik,
 Qatar and Bellview. I
 had to choose and I chose bellview (if it because they were
 cheap I wouldn't
 feel so cheated). Arik was not available for the dates I
 wanted to travel and I
 didn't like Qatar's idea of stopping over somewhere
 in the Middle East for a
 couple of hours, so my major reason was that Bellview would
 take me straight to
 London.
 Part 1Murtala Mohammed Airport.
 I arrived at the airport at 6a.m and the queue was already
 about 100 human
 beings long.
 I finally checked in around 8.50a.m and there were still
 another 100 or more
 people behind me to check in for a 9.05 flight. We all
 waited and boarded the
 aircraft, finally, at 11.30 a.m.
 Scene 2The plane is full of surprises.
 We were about to board and I suddenly noticed the plane had
 "euromediterranean" inscribed on it.
 Lady behind me: S’cuse me. Please may I see your
 ticket? I think I'm getting on
 the wrong plane. My ticket says Bellview.
 Me: I don't know o. I’m really confused.
 Airhostess: Yes, come, come. It eeez Bellview. (In Indian
 accent)
 Me (soliloquizing): Her uniform is red and green. I thought
 Bellview colours
 were sky blue and white. Anyway make I sha reach London in
 one piece.
 Me: My seat number is 23A please (I had specifically asked
 for a window seat).
 Airhostess: Don’t worreee, Madam. It eez free
 seating.. You can sit any where
 you like (no first class or business class).
 Me: Oh ok (now more confused).
 One woman almost went crazy.
 Woman: Look here. How can you tell me it is free sitting
 when I have 6
 children, all under the age of 12? We are a family we
should sit together. Look
 at our boarding passes. They are numbered serially (in a
 flawless British
accent). Shuo! Na whish kain mumu flight attendant be dis
wan o! (In Waffi
 accent)
 Me:  I just could not suppress the
 giggles.
Airhostess: Sorry, Madam. 
Scene 3 More surprises.
 Public Address system comes on.
 Pilot: Good morning ladies and gentlemen (in Middle Eastern
 accent).
 You are welcome aboard Egypt
 Air……………. (5 seconds pause)
 and Bellview Airlines
 (In a louder voice) flight 328 to London Heathrow, bla,
 bla, bla…….
Please listen while we take you through the safety
 procedure, bla, bla, bla…….
 Before take of, an air freshener would be sprayed to
 neutralize any odours.
 Please cover your nose and mouth In case you are sensitive
 to the chemicals (I
 swear to God he said that) shortly after take-off we will
 show you a movie from
 our selection, to keep you entertained.
 So, they sprayed the things, we took off nicely and they
started the movie
 (Marley and Me, Jennifer Anniston). Alas, there was no
 audio.
 Me: Excuse me. My earphones not working
 Airhost (lol): Our engineers are worrrking on eet.
 There’s sound is not coming up.
 (Please I need to describe him. He was bald with large eyes
 and his English
 sounded a lot like Arabic. Yeah, that’s it)
 This female passenger explained in  native dialiect:  Iro lon pa o! ko ni sise(Yoruba for; he’s
 lying. It won’t work)
 Me: I didn’t know it was general. I thought it was my
 earphones.
 The audio never came up. So I had to imagine what Jennifer
 was saying. I had to
 imagine what Marley was saying too, but luckily he
didn’t say much. Marley’s a
dog!
I also had to imagine;
 Why the blankets gave off a horrible smell.
 Why the flight attendants had Air Italy on their badges.
 Why people opened the toilets and shut them again running
 back to their seats (some screaming)
Why the flight attendants kept going to and from the
 toilet holding a big teapot(no, I didn’t drink any tea thanks)
 Why my window wouldn’t shut and the sun was burning
 my skin off
 Why lot of people were fanning themselves
Why the people seated by the toilet looked so angry and
 were holding their
 noses.
 The flight felt a lot longer than 5-6 hours. I thought my
 Swatch stopped
 working, but then Swatches don’t do that. Only some
 other watches do. When we
 eventually landed in London the time was 5.45 p.m and the
 landing was just as
 good as the take-off.
 Anyway, so I don't spoil business for Bellview. If you
 enjoy suspense,
 adventure, bad odours, scary rides and emotional trauma, go
 ahead and fly
 Bellview after all, they are The Preferred Airline.
 Watch out for part 2,lol. 
Part 2 I had a very nice time, thanks to my sister, her husband,
 their two beautiful
 daughters and many other people who might be offended if I
 put their names here.
 I had fun and I rested. I had Ramadan, work and Akute
Lagos traffic on my
 mind. I had done my last minute shopping and said my
bye-byes.. I was packing my
 luggage when my phone rang and the following conversation
 ensued:
 Scene1
Preparation for arrival.
 Person: Good evening. May I speak with passenger Olayinka,
 please? (Yoruba-
 British accent)
 Me: Speaking.
 Person: I’m sorry to inform you that your flight to
 Lagos has been cancelled……
Me: But I have to be at work on Monday (being my very hard
 working self, wink).
 Person: Not to worry, madam. The flight has been
 rescheduled for Sunday
 evening, so you will
 be in Lagos on Monday morning.
 Me: Uh….., ok? (Confused)
 Person: Thanks. Bye bye (hangs up).
 So, I told my sis and we started deliberating. Could it be
 true? It’s never
 happened to me before (but I used to fly B.A and Virgin,
 and even Virgin
 Nigeria when it was in existence). I later decided it was
one of my friends
 playing pranks (Bode, I actually thought it was you) and so
 I called the number
 back.
 Me: Hello. You just called me.
 Person: Is that Buki? bla bla bla……….
 Me: No, this is Yinka. What is my surname?
 Person: Hold on a second please. ….Is it Ademuyiwa?
 The flight has been
 canc……….
Me: What’s the flight number?
 Person: B3 283
 Me: Ok. Thanks (I hang up feeling dejected)
 I discovered it was for real. Not a prank but gross
 inefficiency on the part of
Bellview airlines. Anyway, my sister and her family were
going to a party the
 next day, so, it would not be a boring wait. We had fun at
 the party and didn’t
 have to worry about the time or any journey to the airport. 
Scene 2 Bellview Office
 The next day, I packed again and we went to the shops to
 get chocolates (last
 minute shopping again. Yeah, for you guys. I’m
 fasting.). Once again, my phone
rang and the number looked familiar. You guessed right!
 Bellview again.
 Person: Please, is theees passenger Olayinka
Adem…….? (Indian accent this time)
 Me: Yes, what is it this time?
 Person: I’m sorree to say that yourrr flight has been
 cancelled again. Shifted
 to tomorrow,
 Monday night. Same time.
Me: What?!, You’re joking. I mean, I’ve to go
 to work. Do I get any
 compensation for
 this?
 Person: I’m sorry. I’m not Bellview staff. We
were only paid to make the
 phonecalls(beep).
 You can call their office to talk to their manager about
 compensation.
 Me: Hello,helloo.
 I’ve never felt like that before. What….! To
 get one’s heart broken twice in
 the space of 24hrs.
 Anyway, we went back home with the chocolates and I start
 sending out text
 messages to my family, friends and
 associates……FLIGHT CANCELLED AGAIN. I DO NOT
 KNOW WHEN I AM COMING TO NIGERIA.
 PLS START LOOKING FOR ANOTHER JOB FOR ME.
 The next morning, my sister, very kindly, went with me to
 Bellview’s office in
 Kilburn. We didn’t get to see their manager for the
 45 minutes that we spent
 there (they made my sis late for work). They told us they
 would fly that night
 but they could not tell us the exact time for check-in or
 take-off. One nice
 supervisor (Mr. Olusakin, or so) endorsed my ticket and
 also tried to polish
 their already very tarnished image in his lovely Yoruba
 accent (not in the
 least influenced by working in London). My sis (a lawyer
 b.t.w) asked him if I
 and it took him
 another 10 minutes to explain that I might not get any
 compensation. We had to
 leave before he finished, though, because we were sure that
 they wouldn’t pay
 for our parking ticket. My sis went to work and I, back to
 her house. 
Scene 3
At the Airport
 We got to the airport at 6.30.p.m to check in for a
 9.45.p.m flight. The queue
 was “3 days long”. Saturday people, Sunday
 people and the original Monday
 people. My 7 year old niece said she’d never seen so
 many African people in one
 gathering.. We were all in a dilemma. Some other passengers
 who didn’t get any
 phone call had been taken to a hotel by Bellview airlines
 only to be sent out
later because Bellview didn’t pay.
 I felt so sorry for a group of 80 children (and their care
 givers/teachers) who
 were visiting the U.K for the first time on excursion. We
 finally started to
 check-in around 8.00.p.m. The Saturday people (my category)
 first, then Sunday
 opinion, they might have
 bribed their way through). I had dinner with my sis and
 family at one of the
 restaurants at Heathrow (they were really kind to stay with
 me through the
 whole ordeal). They went home wishing me luck and leaving
 me to my fate as, I
 walked through the boarding gate. The time was 9.30p.m.
 All the passengers had come through the boarding gates by
 12.p.m (yes, boarding
 took that long).
 We couldn’t even eat nor do any shopping because all
 the duty-free shops had
 closed. We were subjected to compulsory socializing or
 compulsory sleep. I
 chose the option of talking to my self.
 We finally boarded the aircraft at 2.42a.m (that was
 Tuesday). Same Egypt
 airplane, same cabin crew (not very good looking or maybe I
 was just tired).
 The food was good though (or maybe I was just very hungry,
 lol). I don’t want
 to scare you, but I think the flight was very bumpy, noisy
 (grinding sounds)
 and shaky.
 Scene 4 Finally in 9j.
 We finally landed in Nigeria at around 8.a.m on Tuesday
 morning. First thing I
 did was read a whole chapter of the Quran (I confess, a
 short one) to thank God
 for his mercies. Then, I called my boss.
 Me: Good morning Sir. We just landed.
 Oga: hmmmm. Ok. Welcome. You can go home
 Me: (near tears). What sir? I’m fired?
 Oga: (laughing) No, go home and rest. See you tomorrow.
 Me: Thank you sir. God bless you
 Oga: You’re welcome. Next time don’t fly
 Bellview o!
 Little did I, know that the drama wasn’t over. One of
 their staff came to tell
 us” SORRY YOUR BAGS HAVE NOT ARRIVED, PLS COME ON
 WEDNESDAY”
 Gotta go. I’m off to the airport to look for my
 luggage
p.s: This was written by a disgruntled passenger, but if Mena talk her own, what happened in 1903 might repeat itself ;)
