DATES/RELATIONSHIPS FROM HELL 2..(and the morale of each story ;)

Hello! Thats sisi up there, loving her mask!

So hi everyone, its Friday, a day notorious for dates and relationships..so I figured that a blog about that will suffice. :P

This is a continuation of dates and relationships from hell. I have been laughing my head off as well as shaking my head. Sometimes relationships are as complex as brain surgery and yet its comic timing is perfect!

Please read the following stories in this part and laugh and learn. That crazy little thing called love? Its not a small 'sonething..'

A sexy woman went up to the bar somewhere in Ikeja, Lagos, she gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately. she seductively signalled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did she gently caressed his full beard. "Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands.
"Actually, no" he replied.
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him" she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair. " I'm afraid I can't" breathed the bartender. Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes, I need for you to give him a message" she continued, running her foreginger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
"what should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say.

" Tell him," she whispered, "there's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room.


Moral of the story . Be quick to point out your manager!


His main babe: welcome dear... made dinner for you
The man: Thanks dear, not hungry...
His main babe: Why....? Had dinner somewhere with that useless girls in your
office again eh?
The man: Don't be ridiculous... com'on, come off it... i had a rather late
lunch after a rather lengthy afternoon meeting

2 hours later,'the man' and 'his main babe' are enjoying a preamble to the main event. 'The man' decides to use his fingers to prep 'his main babe' before proceeding to the main event... Suddenly, his main babe let's out a shriek, starts to tap his hands in quick succession indicating that he should relocate his them before saying "you chop suya, you chop suya, so upon all the better better food wey i dey cook give you, you still go dey chop malam mumuni suya with that useless girl.... wait for me i dey come, you go see pepper today". As she rushes to the bathroom to clean up, 'the man' is left bewildered and cursing his luck wondering how on earth she found out after all the trouble he had taken to clean up


Moral of the story... no play 'anyhow' with madam after you don chop suya ?


Funke and Funto have been friends forever. Both of them went to the same primary, girls secondary school, both of them gratuated from the same university reading the same course.

Funto introduced Funke to her brother Folusho, and the two of them started dating. That was 10years ago.

Funke just want to get married now, but Folusho always had one project or the other he needs to accomplish before he settles down.

Funke met Nifemi at a party and one thing led to another. From the very first night Nifemi told Funke that he wants a wife not a girlfriend.

Funke went back to Folusho one more time to beg him to marry her, but Folusho was so busy with his numerious projects.

Funke loaded her wedding pictures onto her Facebook page. That's how Folusho got to know that Funke had gone ahead to marry Nifemi at the registry and he was so heartbroken.

Moral of the story......this new FB olofofo settings na wah o

There was a certain Naija girl (name withheld for religious reasons) who took a picture with one of her 'more attractive' friends and put this picture on facebook as her profile picture. Well, she caught the attention of a certain guy (name withheld for security reasons). The guy thought that she was a very attractive girl, and he wanted to know her better (prospective date?). Unfortunately, the girl had blocked access to her other pictures (apart from the profile pic), so the guy had no choice but to add her as a friend (you mustn't let the fish escape, shey you get!). So he did....

She checked out the guy....I think he must have been an 'attractive' guy and she accepted his friend request. However, to the dismay of the guy, even when the girl added him, he still didn't have access to her other pictures (apart from the profile pic, which wasn't tagged by the way). Well, no shakings -- the guy decided to open up a 'communication line' with such a fine babe. They started chatting. The chat went something like this...

Guy: Omo, shey u know say u fine sha!
Girl: Thank you...lol.....you are not too bad urself....lmao
Guy: I don't have access to your other fine pictures o....
Girl: I generally don't put my pics on facebook, i am a very private person...lol
Guy: Don't be a stranger now....abeg
Girl: Are you a born-again christian?
Guy: yes I am, I born-again pass pastor sef
Girl: be serious now....
Guy: why are you interrogating me now...this is our first chat....
Girl: I want to get to know you better now...lol...
Guy: OK, first things first...who are you in the picture, the lady on the right or the lady on the left...
Girl: Does it matter? lol
Guy: yes it does, it matters o
Girl: :-)
Guy: :-(
Girl:I am the lady on the left...
Guy: DAMN!!!!
Girl: ?

At this point, the guy LOGGED OFF, DELETED, and BLOCKED the girl.

Moral of the story
1. NEVER put a profile picture with you and another person (except if you are 'finer' than the other person).
2. If you meet a guy, LET HIM SEE ALL YOUR PICTURES FIRST....be sure to include pictures in which you had no make-up and was not too glamorous....it's better to keep it real

Have a great Friday and dont say Mena's blog never teaches you nothing! lol! :P

xoxo
Memena

Mena's mental meanderings on current news headlines ( all play on words fully intended,.ha ha)

Happy saturday to you!

So I am going through a few news websites and typing this blog on the cuff. Lets see what stories exists, shall we?

According to Amanpour, I've just left the presidential palace in Cairo where I sat down for an exclusive 30-minute interview. He told me that he is troubled by the violence we have seen in Tahrir Square over the last few days but that his government is not responsible for it. He said he's fed up with being president and would like to leave office now, but cannot, he says, for fear that the country would sink into chaos.

There is something about tyrants in power. Not only are they usually psychopaths, they are completely out of touch with the people they claim to love and overtaken by an unbridled lust mixed with an almost messiah complex, believing they are the only ones who can do the job properly or die trying!. Take for instance the above, extremely callous, statement. He is worth a fortune estimated to be in the range of $60-80million so absolutely cannot identify with what 'his people' are clamouring for.

Tweets from Egypt revolution:

Muslims in Alexandria performin friday prayers,christians create a security cordon to protect them from thugs while they pray.

#BreakingNews: Reuters reports protesters jumping on tanks, shots fired #Jan25 #Egypt
37 seconds ago · reply

AndyMadaki Internet, BIS and SMS services cut off as protests continue in #Egypt... #RSVP

@rallaf: It's nearly midnight in the Arab world: do you know where your dictators are? #Jan25 #Egypt #SidiBouzid #Who'sNexT

sources: various tweets and whats more its still going on. Viva revolution!!

Halle's custody battle

According to Huffington post, Halle's custody battle turns ugly and racial, Halle Berry would like to thank her ex, Gabriel Aubry--for his sperm donation.

"You were only good for one thing... Thanks for the donation," she allegedly wrote in an email according to Radaronline.com.

Halle and Gabriel split last April, reportedly amicably as they worked out a temporary custody agreement for 2-year-old Nahla. Gabriel filed a paternity petition in December, and the custody battle has turned nasty with reports of Gabriel being abusive and throwing around the n-word and other vulgarities. Sources close to Halle also claim Nahla is terrified of her father and cries when he visits.

Only one thing ke? This is a relationship we are talking about? Halle never talk true!


Lindsey Lohan faces charges for jewellry theft: Lohan who just left three months of rehab, is being charged with Felony Grand Theft for allegedly stealing jewelry from a Los Angeles store last week, TMZ reports. The charges will be filed as early as Monday.

The charges come after the LAPD began to investigate video surveillance that showed her with the necklace in the store, and photos of Lohan a week later showing her wearing a necklace that looks astoundingly similar. After TMZ broke the story about her alleged theft, a Lohan friend returned the necklace to the store.

If she's guilty, Lohan could face jail time, especially since a conviction would violate the terms of her probation.

Lindsey Lohan is from a very well to do home. Yes she has faced a number of disappoinments, a number of felonies and is a recovering addict, but for one who has broken the law one too many times, it is mind boggling why she had to do this.... if indeed she did (disclaimer intact)

The here has been a lot of blog buzz in the Nigerian circles about this video, specifically the lack of Nigerian women in it. I am more perturbed by this irritating use of 'swagger' that has made its way into 'popular' Naija circles. If anyone says 'Swagger' again, I swear I will....!!!!@@!

Stella got her groove back...
According to Dimokokorkus Star actress, Stella Damasus is in a fresh romance.
This is less than a year after her short lived marriage to Emeka Nzeribe hit the rocks.
Her latest care giver is identified as Mofe Duncan.He is listed as a man about town based in Abuja. He is further tagged as into the world of production (the organisation and supervision of the making of movie, broadcast or recording…), with a sister as an Anchor person in a radio station.
Stella and Duncan are said to be very careful about making noise about the relationship. Despite this, insiders claim they have attended a couple of events under the pretext of being just friends.

Dont mean to be pedantic, but what does the length of time matter? Why should it matter that she is 'allegedly' in a 'fresh' romance, in less than a year after her previous one allegedly crashed? Time has f*@k all to do with it!

AS ALLEGATIONS OF INFIDELITY MOUNTS
HUBBY STRIPS CAROLINE DANJUMA NAKED BEFORE DOMESTIC STAFF.Because of these allegations she has been incarcerated in her parkview home and placed
incommunicado by the hubby after being stripped naked in her matrimonial home in front of the domestic staff,but for her husbands daughter named mary,caro would have been pushed out of her supposed home in parkview.

The actress has been forbidden access to twitter,facebook and any other social network online,the only time she gets to know what is happening is only when the husbands daughter mary visits her in her mini prison .
Guepard productions/records,the company caro runs was finally closed down on the 29th
of december 2010 under ty danjumas instruction

This is alarming if its true. Cheating is always painful but the fact is you cannot control another, the best you can do is try to reconcile or else divorce the guilty party. Going as far as imprisonment is ..quite frankly..breaking the law! That said I take it with a pinch of salt, at least for now.

False rape charges
Temitope Adenugba, 24, found guilty of fake rape charges against Ogunmola Ogukola, cleaner Mr Ogunmola said she had destroyed ‘my reputation, my confidence and my life.She did it – so she could get an extension on her university coursework.

This was a very cruel and selfish thing to do! What kind of woman is she to make that kind of statement in the first place, just for an extension? What if she got away with it, can she live with herself?
Because these sort of accusation sticks and many men have had their lives ruined as a result.

Take the case of Fadayomi, who was falsely accused of rape but luckily was cleared! The judge revealed how 18 months earlier the same woman had made an allegation of rape.He said the case never reached court because it was 'lacking in credibility', but the accused man committed suicide 'when facing that allegation'.
After failing to have this first 'rapist' brought to court, the woman set about framing Mr Fadayomi, a stranger she met in a nightclub.
The woman claimed Mr Fadayomi attacked her in a house he shared in Walkley, Sheffield.
But a friend, who was with her that evening, told the court the woman danced and kissed Mr Fadayomi, boasting: 'I'm going to have his body tonight.'

The woman later told her friend she planned to accuse the student of rape, saying: 'He is not going to get away with it, I've got evidence this time.'

Mr Fadayomi told the jury the woman had agreed to sex. He said: 'She never told me to stop and neither did she resist.'

The student, from Nigeria, was doing a biomedical sciences course at the University of East London, but the incident happened in October when he went to Sheffield to do a ten-week music production course during a study break.

After the case Mr Fadayomi recalled how the woman propositioned him by telling him she liked his 'perfume' and that 'she wouldn't mind having me that night'.

They later returned to his house, where they had sex. Mr Fadayomi then gave her £8 for a taxi and she left. He said he went out to buy food at 6am and police were waiting for him on his return.

Mr Fadayomi said of his ordeal: 'My life has been hell for the last seven months. I thought about taking my own life.

'I've not been able to sleep properly since all this happened. Some of my friends shunned me and my parents in Nigeria were heartbroken and scared of what might happen to me.'

Naheed Hussain, Chief Crown Prosecutor for CPS South Yorkshire, last night defended the decision to bring the case but said he would conduct a review following the judge's comments 'to see if any lessons can be learned'.

He said: 'The decision to prosecute was taken by a senior lawyer. We were satisfied there was sufficient evidence not only from the complainant but from another witness whose evidence supported that of the complainant.'

The law allows defendants accused of rape to be named, but the government intends to introduce anonymity for alleged rapists until conviction.

WELL WHY SHOULD SHE BE ALLOWED HER ANONYMITY when these men lives have been destroyed, because just like pedophile charges, rape charges are hard to erase even when found not guilty of the offence...just as Micheal Jackson..

I pray for those falsely accused to find justice as this man did, who knows how many men are paying for 'rape crimes' they did not commit?


Bangladeshi girl whipped too death after being raped by cousin

The High Court yesterday ordered district officials in Shariatpur to explain why they failed to protect 14-year-old rape victim Hena from being whipped to death as per a fatwa on Monday.The reports said Hena was raped by her 40-year-old relative Mahbub on Sunday. Next day, a fatwa was announced at a village arbitration that she must be given 100 lashes. She fell unconscious after nearly 80 lashes.

Fatally injured Hena was rushed to Naria health complex where she succumbed to her injuries.

I cry in frustration when I read such tales, like literally tears fall on to the keyboards. WHAT A LIFE, so she was raped at 14 and was still beaten to death? What kind of society will allow this kind of 'culture' thrive??? When I speak about how women are being treated, I am immediately labelled as a feminist..only in the Nigerian sense of the word feminist= man hater. Rivetting! I wish those that label me, can kindly rationalise this extremely devilish act! I mean why will you beat up any woman, let alone a 14year old teenager. And you flogged her till she died? How archaic and inhuman, how intolerant and barbaric. What kind of morons are these people? Why are they frightened of the sexuality of women that they try to control it or else destroy it? What is with the perverted sexual obsession with very young girls?

On the plus side, their law seems to be taken the right steps, for instance Following three writ petitions, the court directed the authorities concerned to take punitive action against people involved in enforcing fatwa against women.

It also observed that infliction of brutal punishment including caning, whipping and beating at local salish [arbitration] by persons devoid of judicial authority constitutes violation of the constitutional rights. Meanwhile, another HC bench yesterday directed the law enforcement agencies to submit a report to it within three weeks on what steps have been taken following this incident in the light of its judgement on extra-judicial punishment.

What a life! I guess that will suffice for the rape and brutal killing of a 14yr old teenage. I have to stop here before I get uncivil with my disgust

.....and on a lighter note: Are you an AJEBOTA or AJEPAKO .... :P

Hiya
Just noticed I had to many serious mental meanderings lately, so decided to go lighter route. This is similar to my telesales joke. Enjoy

1. If every morning after you wake up, your folks give you a hug and a kiss before sending you off to school, then you might be an AJEBOTA. But if them toss you beta slap for not kneeling down or prostrating "properly", you are definitely PAKO! Like my guy wey im papa ask am one day; NA GREET YOU DEY GREET ME ABI YOU DEY TRY CATSH SHICKEN?

Is the picture, offensive or hilarious? depends on your perspective baby! xxx

2. If as a young lady, before you even dare stepping outside you put on at least a pair of jeans and a T-shirt with a face cap on with matching sneakers, you could pass for an AJEBOTA. But if you repeatedly nonchalantly tie only wrapper round your chest, u throway leg inside foam slippers and waka go Mama Bomboy kiosk to buy maggi seasoning cube, your PAKONESS don attain xtra height.

3. If your folks, perhaps through an exclusive Country Club, introduced you to a variety of sports like cricket, golf or polo, we would agree that you're an AJEBOTA. But if motor don avoid jamming u repeatedly from either playing "ten-ten", "su-way" or "set (5 per side soccer)", no long thing when I just say u be HEAVY PAKO.

4. If your clothes were bought exclusively from abroad and you were wearing the latest and most popular name brands that made everybody else wonder, I will classify you as an AJEBOTA. But whereby you specialize for "Boskona" (trying your clothes in a makeshift stall before you purchase) pricing, you are HEAVILY ENPAKOIATED.

handsfree!

5. If you were the type to get dropped in school and picked up by a driver designated to do so by your parents, I'll qualify you as an AJEBOTA. But if you hold world record of flying "DANFO" and "MOLUE a.k.a. FUNKY TRAIN" in motion or jumping down before them even match brake and you no dey ever wound, I HAIL YOUR PAKO STANDS.

6. If you were familiar and current with the latest things in vogue, I'll rate you as an AJEBOTA. But if the 1st day you see person wear NIKE chucks and you begin wonder why im put yoruba girl name untop am, PAKOISM don skatta your head.

7. If you ever toasted a girl/guy speaking perfect Queens English with the latest "fo-ne" slangs and acting "all cool", I think you fall into the AJEBOTA category. But if your type dey approach babe/bobo with tribal mark wey no even sabi ordinary "is & was", you con mix am with your very strong and conk native dialect and you still dey try to show yourself with "ibon (bad English)" for the small grammar wey you think say you know, you are genetically PAKOlised.

Courtesy of NWG
Happy new year to those that have as wacky a sense of humour as i do ;)

8. If you either have a dry cleaner that picks up your family clothing and returns them washed, ironed and folded, or maybe you personally take them there to get the same job done, or you have a washing machine in the house and maid who finalizes the rest part, we'll fit you into the AJEBOTA clan. But then, if you dey use one full iron bucket of OMO to soak your "cloth (plural for cloth in pidgin)", den u spread untop concrete-slab for "super scrub" with Kongi soap to hustle that troublesome collar, dip in back & forth until e turn to milk colour, hand-squeeze am with your upper bodi facing 1 direction while d cloth face d opposite direction, snap and flap d cloth in mid-air like 15 times to discharge (remove) d wrinkles before u use "wooden peg" to hold am for back-yard rope or better yet, lay am over your corrugated iron fence, NNA MENNNNNNNNN, your PAKO level don nearly cross perfect 10!!!!!!!!


9. If you happen to do emergency laundry for an outfit you need to wear in a very short while, you pop it into a dryer and hit buttons to get it ready, some how, some way, you're an AJEBOTA. But if after washing, u squeeze it out, carry towel, roll am inside d towel and another person dey d other end make una for pull with force to drain d water come outside (what we refer to as "TOWEL DRYING" in KC), and den finally u use your coal iron steam-dry am, u be PAKO oooooo!!!!

10. If every summer after school your idea of a holiday is looking forward to yet another trip to Jand or Yankee, you are an in-born AJEBOTA. But if u begin jump up because say una dey go village for New Yam Festival and hunting seasons dey coincide, hence u fit finally throway your "Egungun" outfit and flex d new 1, no vex when I say u be PAKO.

STREET! SEXUAL!! HARRASMENT!!!

What is Street Harassment? It is unwelcome harassment of a sexual nature, or based upon the receiving party's sex or gender.

But it happens on the street.




A few days ago, I started noticing that more and more men were making more comments to me while walking down the street. Most of the time it is a friendly compliment like “hello beautiful” to which I reply “thanks” and I keep on going. Now that the weather is warm and people are shedding their coats it has gotten worse for me. Approximately two weeks ago, after work, I was walking into Walgreens passing a man who I generally see every day. I acknowledged his presence with a respectful hello and walked in to the store. When leaving the store the man looked at me along with another gentleman and the man said, “f@#k her, she only f@#k’s with white boys any way”. I took the usual tack and walked away said nothing.

Last week, another incident occurred when again I was walking towards Walgreens. A man rather loudly to his friends said, “I wish I could take that ass home every night.” He like his friends began to laugh. They thought I was a joke. I again took the usual tack and said nothing.

Last Friday, on my way home from work I was standing at the bus stop when man in a pickup truck with a confederate decal felt like he had the right to ask me if “it must be a hard time for yall working girls, aint it, aint it?” Even though I was angry I maintained my dignity by not acknowledging his presence. So once again I said nothing.


Yesterday, I was walking on Main Street again and a man was looking at my behind. I turned around and looked at him the way he looked at me. The man was stunned. I was fed up and the man walked away embarrassed.

These incidents occur in the lives of many girls and women daily. Like many others, this has been happening to me since I was a young girl. It is so bad that even today I dread walking past crowd of men. I am sickened at the thought of walking past the park everyday to my bus stop. To avoid it, I thought about walking about five minutes away towards another bus stop. I questioned myself and asked why do people degrade someone in public they do not know? It was never my attire. If you know me, you know that I am very conservative in my choice of clothing. I figured out that women could walk around in bags and these men still would say something disgusting. On the way to work I had to ask myself why should I adjust my life for these people. I decided I will not.

People have a right to say as they will. But I do have a right to walk down the street without fear of harassment or embarrassment. Some may see me as just a piece of ass but I know I am highly intelligent well-rounded woman. I, like all women, are more than breast and ass. I am a woman with a soul. I am a woman that listens to Bach and Jay-Z. I can see the beauty of art and music from the Baroque period and enjoy the detail and modernism of street art. I am more than a piece of ass. I am a friend, sister, a cousin, and a daughter. I am a human being. Imagine if I was your cousin, sister, your wife or your mother. How would you feel if some man off the street said that to them? I am fed up and angry. I want to stand up to people so they will not do this to other women but I am afraid of the repercussions because they street harassers tend to be violent individuals.

The law says:

Serial acts of public lewdness. A person is guilty of serial acts of public lewdness when two or more times within any three-year period he or she intentionally exposes the private or intimate parts of his or her body in a lewd manner or commits any other lewd act (a) in a public place, or (b) in private premises under circumstances in which he or she may readily be observed from either a public place or from other private premises, and with intent that he or she be so observed. A person who commits serial acts of public lewdness shall be guilty of a class A misdemeanor”

In my humble opinion, street harassment is nothing more than an act of power. It is a sign of a weak victimizer attempting take power away from the victim. If a person is attracted to another human being how about trying to be kind? Has anyone ever heard of the saying, "you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar".

In a article called Understanding Street Harassment by Amy Scotfield it stated that,

“typical harassment experiences were found to occur between 12 pm and 6 pm, while on the street, at a construction site or in a parking lot. "This makes sense and fits the model because it's when people are out in the world and active, The consequences of such incidents include "increased self objectification, restriction of movement and fear of rape."


UNDERSTANDING THE DARKER SIDE OF STREET HARRASMENT

Women Savagely Beaten After Rejecting Come-On

After two young women refused a Brooklyn man's advances during a late night pizza stop last month, the failed pick-up turned into a violent assault, leaving one women with a fractured jaw and another nearly blinded.

…at 3:50 a.m. at John & Tony's Pizzeria on First Avenue at 60th Street on March 20th, when they were approached by 31-year-old Dzemal Kolenovic. Christine (pictured) says that after she responded to his advances by asking him to leave her alone, he became abusive, yelling, "F- - - you, bitches. You whores."
And when they stepped outside, Kolenovic was waiting, and allegedly threw Christine to the sidewalk. She says, "I asked him, 'Why are you doing this?' and he said, 'Because I'm Albanian, I can do whatever the f- - - I want.' " Her friend tried to dial 911 on her cellphone, but Kolenovic smacked it out of her hands and fractured her jaw, according to police. He then continued beating Christine, who recalls that "first he punched me once in the right eye and then he got really wound up and hit my left eye.”


Van crashes in Midtown; kills pregnant woman driver allegedly attempted to flirt with


A 29-year-old pregnant woman was killed Friday in Manhattan when a van driver who was catcalling her and a co-worker lost control and plowed into them, police sources and witnesses said.
Cops arrested Keston Brown, 27, of the Bronx, and charged him with driving while intoxicated and possession of marijuana.
Sources said Brown, who has prior arrests, was flirting with the women while driving by them. When they spurned him, he lost his temper - and control of the van, they said.


Women Strike Back Online Against Street Harassment

NEW YORK (WOMENSENEWS)--On a cold day in February, Emily May, a 25-year-old employee for a low-income housing and employment nonprofit in New York, bundled up and left work.

As she turned onto Broadway, the main north-south thoroughfare in Manhattan, two men heading toward her interrupted her thoughts. One tapped his friend and gave May a long look up and down.

"Yo baby, you're gorgeous!" the man said to her.
"I wanna hit that!"

May whipped out her camera phone.

"Sir, can I take your picture?"

"Why do you want to take my picture?"

"Because I'm taking pictures of everyone who thinks I'm pretty today."

What the men did not know was that May is part of a growing movement of women around the country and the globe turning the table on harassers.


Women Strike Back Online Against Street Harassment

Here are some stories from Tolerance.org

When I was 13 years old, I was walking down a heavily trafficked street in my hometown. It was a spring day -- and I remember I had just washed my hair, so it was damp. I had on white Keds, white shorts, and a pink sleeveless top. I don't remember where I was headed, but I do remember the heckle that came from a much older man in a car. It seemed innocent enough: "Hey, white shorts!" Whistle ...
I was surprised -- it hadn't ever happened to me before, a man "noticing" me in public. But, I also felt sexualized in an uncomfortable way. I felt dirty. I felt self-conscious as I walked back home. I walked clunkily -- not in my usual manner. I watched the street continually, hoping that the man's car wouldn't appear again.
It didn't.
When I got home, I went up into my room. I looked at my white shorts -- after all, that's what he had called me -- "Hey, white shorts!" And I saw that, from behind, you could see my panty line -- and the little blue flowers of my underwear, too. I cried.
That was the last day I ever wore white shorts -- or anything white on the bottom half of my body. It's been 17 years.
J.H., Texas



I been out with two of my friends on a Friday night in the city. We caught the night bus, and there was only us when we both stepped on. At the next stop two men got on a sat in front of us.
The first thing that one of these guys did was lean over the seat and say to us, "hey ladies what are you doing tonight." I, being very mouthy, said, "nothing with you." He then got very angry and started insulting us.
When it was revealed that we were three lesbians he suddenly changed his mind and wanted to watch us. When I corrected him and said, "unlike men we don't want to f**k every friend we have!" he very upset and he started insulting us saying it was "unnatural" and "god did not make people that way." However, five minutes before that he wanted to watch.
The bus ride ended with more insults and him spitting in our the faces. He grabbed me so hard on my wool coat and sweater covered arm that I had a huge bruise for about two weeks. Luckily my friends were there to help me.
J.M.

No one regardless of his or her station in life, race, class, religion etc deserves this. Remember the old saying that “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”. Well I am here to say it is untrue. Words do hurt but I will not let it have power over me.

The Winnie Mandela Interview

Enjoy this lovely article

Winnie Mandela – those who love her call her Mother of the Nation (South Africa) and those who hate who say she should be jailed for life. There are few, if any, people who don’t experience intense feelings one way or another when her name is mentioned.

In an interview with Nadira Naipaul, the wife of novelist V S Naipaul. Winnie Mandela said Nelson Mandelan had done nothing for the poor and should not have accepted the Nobel peace prize with the man who jailed him, FW de Klerk.
The 73-year-old said her ex-husband had become a 'corporate foundation' who was 'wheeled out' only to raise money for the ANC party he once led.she said: 'This name Mandela is an albatross around the necks of my family.

'You all must realise that Mandela was not the only man who suffered. There were many others, hundreds who languished in prison and died.

'Mandela did go to prison and he went in there as a young revolutionary but look what came out.

'Mandela let us down. He agreed to a bad deal for the blacks. Economically we are still on the outside. The economy is very much "white".

'I cannot forgive him for going to receive the Nobel with his jailer de Klerk. Hand in hand they went. Do you think de Klerk released him from the goodness of his heart?

'He had to. The times dictated it, the world had changed and our struggle was not a flash in the pan, it was bloody to say the least and we had given rivers of blood. I had kept it alive with every means at my disposal'

Harsh criticisms from the former wife of one of the most popular people in the planet.

Winnie Mandela is a highly controversial figure and makes enemies as easily as others pick up shells on a beach. Yet, she is charismatic and is able to captivate an audience with the intensity of her gaze and speech. Winnie Mandela is the type of woman who commands attention when she walks into a room full of people. She is a beautiful looking woman and is proud to dress up in designer African clothes – even if you wanted to, you just cannot ignore this lady. When interviewed, she is grace personified and comes across as a warm and intelligent woman.

Just who is Winnie Mandela? The best way to answer this, is to have a look at her past and one will soon see why she became what she is today - someone that people have passionate feelings about.She was born on 26 September 1936 in Bizana, Transkei – now known as part of the Eastern Cape of South Africa. She was one of eight siblings and her mother, Nomathamsanqa Mzaidume taught Home Economics (Domestic Scienc) at a local school. Winnie experienced her first loss at the tender age of eight when her mother died. Her father worked in the Forestry and Agriculture department of the Transkei government. Transkei is now incorporated as part of the Eastern Cape in South Africa.

Winnie attended primary school in Bizna and completed her school career in Shawbury. She received a diploma in social work at the Jan Hofmeyer School in Johannesburg, Gauteng. Winnie had drive and ambition even in those early years – remember this was during the apartheid years and during a time when women were still oppressed in South Africa: she was both black AND female. Yet she managed to complete a Bachelor of Arts degree, majoring in International Relations, at one of the leading universities in South Africa, The University of Witwatersrand, in Johannesburg.

Her family were better off than most black people in South Africa in those years and during this time she was unaware of the inequality that was so rampant among black people. It was only when she worked at the Baragwanath Hospital as a social worker (she was the very first black social worker, male or female) that she became acutely aware of the huge gap between the privileged white minority and the terrible levels of poverty that the black people were subjected to. She noticed how bad the medical services were for ill black people and even completed a project that included research that showed than ten out one thousand black babies died during birth. Deaths that need not have happened.

During this time, she met young people from the African National Congress and her political voice was first heard in the nineteen-fifties and she was arrested and detained as a political prisoner for the first time in 1958. This did not deter her and she was heavily involved with encouraging the women of South Africa to stand up and refuse to be subjected to the laws of apartheid.

She met a young lawyer, Nelson Mandela during her early political years; they married and during the years gave birth to children. Even in the early years of their marriage, she had to learn to survive on her own , as Mandela toured different townships, passing on the anti-apartheid message. After his arrest and imprisonment in 1962, she was banned – this meant that she became a prisoner within Soweto, the largest township in South Africa. In typical Winnie style, she ignored the ban and visited her husband, Nelson, in prison in Cape Town in 1967. Her reward for this was one month’s jail.

Over the years she was banned and jailed. At one time she was put into solitary confinement on the death row, probably , the then government’s endeavour to weaken her beliefs. One wonders how the children coped with an absent father and a mother who was victimised in this way. After her release form a Kroonstad prison in 1975, she was part of the newly formed African National Congress Women’s League – a movement that till today has a powerful political voice. It was not long before the Women’s League was banned as well – this did not deter Winnie and her female comrades – they continued to struggle against the apartheid laws.

Winnie was involved with the Soweto 1976 uprising and was sentenced to jail again – this time, she had to spend half a year in prison and after her release she was not allowed to go back to Soweto. Once again, her homelife was tilted upside down. The South African government re-stationed her in the town of Brandfort and there she remained for nine years, enduring assaults on her house and received numerous death threats. Being the strong woman that she was, she again ignored her banning order and left Brandfort for visits to Soweto – for this she was arrested each time and had to spend time in jail.

Is this what made her controversial? Not at all – there were many other black people who endured the same victimisation. After all, it was her tenacity and loyalty that earned her the title "mother of the nation". She was respected worldwide and among the majority of black people. What put Winnie in a class of her own, besides being married to an icon and hero to millions of people worldwide, was her fearless verbal attack on the apartheid government. They responded in kind with arrests, banning orders and jail terms, but they were never able to destroy her or weaken her belief.

Ultimately, it was Winnie who almost destroyed herself. She formed what was known as The Mandela United Football Team. They spent more time protecting Mrs Mandela than playing football and soon rumours abounded about their involvement in clandestine activities. Her "football team" became powerful, eliminating anyone who would dare to oppose them. More rumours surfaced when it was said that many governmental informers were ordered by Winnie to death by necklacing (when a tyre is placed over an "accused's" neck and lit).

Stompie Seipei was their nemesis. A young child, only fourteen years old. He was abducted by this powerful "football" team, tortured and eventually murdered. The worst part is that this happened just a few months before the release of Nelson Mandela from captivity - a time when at last, it looked as though progress was being made to break down the barriers of apartheid.

Nelson was released and man and wife were re-united. Nelson Mandela, an icon, stood by his wife even though he had heard all the rumours of her mafiosa-like football team. He supported her and defended her at all times - even when she and her football team stood trial for the murder of Stompie, he was at her side. He believed in her. It was found that she had been involved with the death of Stompie and received a light jail sentence, but in typical Winnie-style, she managed to have the judgement overturned and walked away with a fine. One of her infamous bodyguards was sentenced for the actual death of Stompie.

By now, cracks appeared in the Mandela marriage - especially after rumours surfaced of an alleged relationship between the lady and one of her bodyguards. Nelson Mandela divorced Winnie Mandela and when he was inaugarated as first democratically-elected president of South Africa, one of his daughters was by his side - Winnie wasn't even invited to share with the podium and immediate interior of the celebrations that were held on that day - not until, Thabo Mbeki (Nelson's successor) personally invited her to sit with him and his wife. Winnie had found a way to survive again.

Against all expectations, she had been re-elected chairperson of the ANC Women's League several times and her voice is still a strong one. She despises the press who understandbly relish any opportunity to elaborate on her lifestyle. This woman, this Winnie Mandela, has spent a lifetime being victimised and oppressed. Could this be why when she was allowed to have some kind of power, she went overboard and took her anger out on a fourteen year boy? The records show that she was indirectly involved with his death, but is this any excuse? To the many that hate her, no.

She is a unique woman - I cannot say that I hate her or love her, but I most surely admire her drive and the fact that she has perfected the art of survival. The shadow of the death of poor Stompie should and will always haunt her - if anything, maybe his death brought her to her senses. May she continue to be strong, opposing injustices, but remembering not to commit any injustices herself.

References:

Interview with Naipaul

Other Sources

Walk like an Egyptian from Jan 28th, the day they said Enough was truly Enough

A revolution is going on Egypt as I type. My interests in it lies in the fact that its an online revolution. Social networking led to change in Tunisia, and caused demonstrations in Yemeni.Its amazing to behold.

I engage in a lot of political debates on and offline and everyone agrees that Nigeria is in dire need for a change. However those same people laughed at the idea of an internet revolution...yet here it is! Been up all day and night following all updates because I am excited about the possible outcomes.

I hope this kind of virus spread around and gets to Nigeria..Too many people are talking about the problems we have as a nation and yet nothing really changes. The internet is a start, as non violent as ever, and if done right, very difficult to stifle. Even if there is no power to run an internet campaign, the estimated millions of Nigerians in the diaspora will gladly carry on, the international media will pick it up, forcing our leaders to take a stand and realise how fed up we really are. The Tunisian revolution was so successful, yes lives were lost, yet the government went on to pledge millions to take care of the survivors of those who died! I imagine the extensive media coverage had forced their hand!!)

We need a revolution already!!

Anyway back to Egypt:

Protesters in Egypt have been inspired by Tunisians who toppled their president, Zine al-Abidine Ben Ali, of 23 years. Egyptians have the same complaints that drove Tunisians on to the streets: surging food prices, poverty, unemployment and authoritarian rule. I am excited about the possible outcomes.

It started with Tuesday's "Day of Wrath" that kicked off protests now in their third day, are reveling in their success in bringing demonstrators out.
(Reuters) - Egypt's web activists have been brazen critics of the President Hosni Mubarak 30-year rule online. This week's unprecedented protests across Egypt showed they are becoming formidable opponents offline too.

Activists have used Facebook, Twitter and other social media to rally supporters online, coordinate protests and share tips on how to dodge arrest and deal with teargas. They blame the government for making access to the sites patchy.

"Mubarak took over Twitter and we took over the streets. Good deal," one anonymous user tweeted.

With two thirds of Egypt's 79 million people under the age of 30 and with many frustrated by largely toothless opposition parties, many of Egypt's youth have turned to the digital sphere as one of the few channels available to express their anger.

"The system has not responded to repeated calls for reform," said political analyst Nabil Abdel Fattah. "But these new generations managed though virtual space to break that silence and move to the streets."

Analysts say web activists have to prove they can sustain the momentum of protests and may find numbers shrink if the state responds with past tactics such as wage hikes and handouts for the poor instead of the political change they are demanding.

"This revolution will be called the revolution of the internet youth," a member of a Facebook group calling for protests wrote. "We will take it all the way to the end."

Protesters in Egypt have been inspired by fellow Arabs in Tunisia who toppled their president, Zine al-Abidine Ben Ali, of 23 years. They too spread the word for protests online.

Egyptians have the same complaints that drove Tunisians on to the streets: surging food prices, poverty, unemployment and authoritarian rule that smothers public protests.


The web allows protest locations to be quickly communicated.

"They are becoming better organized, they are able to coordinate, at least to a degree which sustained their activities," Hamzawy said.

Buoyant activists on Facebook are now calling for the biggest protest on Friday, the Egyptian weekend. It gained 75,000 online supporters in about 24 hours.

But the groups are heavily dependent on the internet for networking and coordination, a problem that can slow mobilization if social media networks go down.

Egyptians have already complained of patchy access to Twitter and Facebook, blaming the government, although they have found ways to access the sites via proxies.

Mobile networks and text messages also provide a back up, although users also complain of some disruption.

The government denies any role in disrupting the internet and insists it allows free expression in peaceful protests.

"Trying to cut off social media debate is like trying to cut the head off a hydra. Another one grows back very quickly," said Mark Hanson, London-based new media strategist.

According to some web activists, cyber attackers have targeted the Interior Ministry, Communications Ministry and ruling National Democratic Party websites.

The Tunisian model suggests that any government crackdown will struggle to contain the flow of information, and may simply mobilize more web users and other sympathizers into action.

"We will not be afraid any longer," many bloggers repeat on their sites. "Egypt will be liberated. You can try to block Facebook but you will still find us on the streets."

See more here

I hope and pray that such a time will come to Nigeria where:

1. Nigerians will stand for change. I refer to ordinary Nigerians like me or you or him or her, who are not the traditional government critics, showing no religious or other loyalty except to their call for political change. This our 'Goddey' attitude is killing us.

2. Our Organisational skills so efficient to the last details including plans to share leaflets to would-be demonstrators on what to do when teargas is fired, how to dodge arrest and tips on a citizen's constitutional rights in case of detention.

3. That death of Nigerian social critics or other such activists will stop being in vain. This apathy is what has kept us where we are at this time. I had written about the Jos Riots almost in the same week I created this blog. Imagine the pictures of those mutilated and roasted children and women being forwarded online, yet no one is facing the consequences of those death? No one resigned 'in honor' for not doing their job? What is the worth of a Nigerian life in 2011???

I pray to see the day that Nigerians actually agree that Enough is Enough and hope this will happen in my lifetime. Egyptians well done!




Ok, am going back to read online updates..:P

Mena

Help (2) My husband, supported by his church, used me for citizenship! No offence but IN MY OPINION, RCCG functions like a CULT..!

Hello Dear Patient Reader ;)

So I was browsing blogsville when I came across some stories. They claim to be true life stories and the writers actually need our advice. I couldnt resist but bring some of them to them to my blog so readers who have gone though a similar experience can play agony aunt and give them solutions. Or you can even give them some tough love as well. They will be published from time to time in a series titled 'HELP', this is the second part. You can find part one here ( I have given God everything..)

By my thinking any one of us can be silently going through terrible ordeals in our lives thinking we are alone, and believing there is no solution, no way out, well there is a way out! All you need to do is speak out or write anonymously, someone somewhere will respond to you. You are never alone, certainly not in blogsville.

So here is another one of the stories, names adjusted for obvious reasons, published unedited, all words are exactly as she wrote it...

I have been attending the Redeemed Christian church for quite some time. I married a man who is a member of thier church. This man used me for citizenship and he is high ranking member of this church in Malaysia and a member of the church... for 18 yrs in Nigeria. I supported him financially for 4 years, Sponsored him to Canada ,loved him and gave him a son. He left me a couple weeks after he gained his citizenship. This has been after 5 years of marriage and being a devoted wife to him. The church has assisted him to leave me and encouraged him to abandon me and our son. They are gossipers and mean hearted people. I have called both pastors for help in reconciling our marriage. They offered me no prayer or any kind of support what so ever. Even some of the other members in the church who did not like what my husband did to me spoke out and tired to support me and the pastor came down hard on them and discouraged them from doing so. I have been reliably informed that the pastor is arranging a new wife for me husband even though I am still legally married to him and still a member of the Redeemed Christian church. I am aware that not all churches are like this, but unfortunately the Redeemed Christian church function like a cult, but no offence intended. Finacially this church are taking advantage of us and they bought a building they can not afford and are now borrowing all the members money to pay for the down payment. They say by God's grace they will pay it back. This will be impossible for them to pay back as they dont have the means to pay it back. I was at church the church recently and was instructed to dance by a basket placed on the alter and give money if I want to worship with them the pastor centered me out and insisted that I must dance by this basket if I
want to worship with them. Please help me.



Siti Nurhaliza* (not real name) ·

WOW, So much to take in! what do you think about this situation? she needs your opinions now, a sign or word to touch her life. :-( Thanks in advance.
Mena
P.s: These sort of stories will be published from time to time in a series titled 'HELP', this is the second part.

DATES/RELATIONSHIPS FROM HELL 1..(and the morale of each story ;)

Hello!

I have been laughing my head off as well as shaking my head. Sometimes relationships are as complex as brain surgery and yet its comic timing is perfect!

Please read the following stories in this part and learn from it oh, dont say Mena's blog never teaches you nothing! lol!

The evening was romantic…flowers, gourmet food, light music, exquisite ambience..the perfect dinner followed by the raunchiest, mind-blowing activity…a night of rapturous and perfect bliss. Early the next morning, he gently slipped out of her entwined arms and out of bed, so as not to wake her up. He usually made breakfast in bed for best ones…least he could do for the pleasures she provided him the night before. Quick check in the kitchen for what ever ingredients could be found. Plantains, fresh fish, rice, condiments (left over stuff the chick from last weekend brought). Ok...rice plantains, fried fish it is…might even do a lil’ salad…put the rice to boil and clean the fish out. Frying pan from the top shelf…a liberal helping of vegetable oil. He leaves the oil to heat for about 3 minutes then shoves the cuts of fish into the pan….

His scream brought her running from the bedroom…to find him writhing on the kitchen floor, both hands clutching his nether regions…in excruciating agony….


The moral of this story:
NEVER, EVER…under any circumstance WHATSOEVER, fry fish in the nude..!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


After the reception in a typical wedding in naija, usually the groom goes home alone and wait for his bride, the bride goes back to her parents for their blessings and pack her things to join her new hubby at his house.

in the yoruba tradition, the man is expected not to be home when the bride arrives and she will be welcomed by the groom's relatives.

This groom decided that it would be a good time to visit his ex-girlfriend while waiting for his bride to arrive, and ended up making love with both women (bride and ex) on his wedding night.

nine months later he had 2 kids same day from both women.

moral of the story - Each bride needs to have a handcuff in her wedding purse, to fasten the groom to herself immediately after the reception.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




Torishe and Maxwell had been lovebirds for some months after they were introduced by a mutual friend. On the night Max planned to propose to his sweetheart, he called her up and asks where she was and she said she was at home.

Excitedly Maxwell drives down to the house and called his love again. This time around he asked her exactly where she was in the house and she told him she was helping her younger brother with an assignment in his room.

Things were working out for Max who had planned to sit on her bed and call her to come to her room where he'll be waiting with ring in hand. So lover-boy enters the compound and knocks expecting the maid to open the door but found it slightly ajar so he enters and makes his way to the room so as to plant himself as surprise.

Since he had been to the house a number of times, he didn't expect the room to be locked so he just turned the knob but alas the door was locked. As he was about to dial her mobile again he heard movement in the room so he peeps through the keyhole to find his beloved Torishe bouncing on an albino.

After a minute of watching heart ache causing mojo, max put his ring back in his pocket and headed back home.



Moral of the story: Never try a surprise in an unfamiliar terrain

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Last but not the least:
Feyi answers the door and found a well dressed elderly woman at the door. She greets the woman and the woman asks after her father as in full names. Her dad was not home but the woman said she would wait for him (this happened in the pre-GSM days).

While waiting the woman called her and said she could not wait longer but that she would like to report her dad's atrocities to her. She listened as the woman told her how she left her 2 children with Feyi's dad while she went to work in the UK. And how on returning she found her children's decomposed body in her deep freezer.

On inquiry, she said she had been told that it was Feyi's dad that cut her children into small bits and refrigerated them (she had been sobbing all the while). The purpose of her visit was to fight the man but now that she couldn't see him, (she removes a knife from her purse) she would do justice to Feyi, the daughter of the man that murdered her own children.

On seeing the knife, Feyi ran out of the house only to meet her father at the gate. When the father saw the woman running after his daughter, he hugged and said ''Aunty mi, igba wo le'de'' (When did you arrive aunty). Seeing her father address the woman she burst out crying. By the time she narrated the woman's story to her father he burst out laughing.

The woman was his maternal aunt and she had been known to be insane though she has moments of sanity. A few minutes later she showered gifts one Feyi, whom she had almost killed.

Moral of the story: Always warn your children if you have mentally challenged relatives

Will just stop here for now. There will be a part 2 to this blog so please check from time to time. Real life stories to digest, complete with a morale angle, kinda like a public service announcement (ha ha) so dont say Mena's blog never teaches you anything ;)

Me'mena

SEX 101 FOR DUMMIES! (Tnote please pay close attention..feel free to copy, paste, meditate and cram :p )

Hi

So I noticed a few more people have started following my blog. What I do is to immediately click on their profiles to follow them back as well as read their material..Which reminds me, please if you are following me and have a blog, please and please, I am on bended knees, leave a comment with a link to your blog so I can immediately reach your blog and follow you back. :) Ok? Ok!!

As I was saying, I usually click the profiles of newbies to locate a link to their blog, read some of the content, follow them and place comments. This is how I met one crase blogger called Tnotes and his plea for help on how to please a woman. :P




So without much further ado:

The art of foreplay
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When it comes to foreplay, you'll find that most women like the

same things. Remember that it's a build-up of excitement, and

not just fiddling with her womanly bits :)



Here's a step-by-step guide you can follow that should tell her

you know what you're doing. It'll drive her wild and make her

want you even more!



Step 1:

Hold her close and press your body against hers. Nuzzle gently

into her neck and shoulders.



Step 2:

Continue to hold her close while gently stroking her back. Lie

her down and slide your hand lightly up and down her body along

the outline of her hip. If you like, let your hand venture down

to her butt occasionally, teasing her and making her tingle all

over.



Step 3:

Start to kiss her, slowly and simply. No tongues yet! Suck

tenderly on her lower lip as you ease your tongue out, coaxing

her to respond by opening her mouth. If she does, gradually push

your tongue into her mouth while pressing your lips firmly

against hers. Move down to her delicate neck and shoulders as

you take her top off.



Step 4:

She'll be getting really horny by this time. Place one hand on

one of her breasts and caress it. Feel how hard the nipple is

with your thumb. Reach round and undo the strap of her bra.



Tell her how gorgeous you think she is and how turned on she's

making you feel. Then take her hard and erect nipple directly

into your mouth (gently!) as you stroke the other breast and

nipple with your hand.



Step 5:

Move down, kissing her tummy as you go. Undo any jeans/skirt and

then kiss her on the mouth again. While kissing her, place your

hand down between her legs and rub tenderly over her panties.

Then move the panties to one side and finger her vulva slowly

and smoothly.



Step 6:

At this point she'll be aching for it. You might want to go down

and teae her womanly bits, or she might decide to take over. She might

want to grind her body up against you or touch your crotch.

Either way is fine and you should just let it happen.



Start slowly and add to the stimulation as your partner gets more and more

aroused. If you're both up for it, you can also try

incorporating other ideas into your foreplay adventure, such as:



* starting with a massage


* reading erotic literature

* covering each other in whipped cream or your favorite

chocolate sauce :)

* fantasizing with each other

* teasing her by ALMOST licking or NEARLY stroking



So you see, there really is an 'art' to foreplay. Do it right

and your woman will thank you for it, over and over again


Okay Tnotes did not exactly ask for such tips, the truth is that his laptop has been infected by viruses from the porn sites he frequently visits. (Shey you see, my initial lie was more dignifying o.

ROFLMAO

@Tnotes: My bro, I keed I keed, I joke, I joke!

HELP (1) I have given God everything I have without a man or child to call my own

Please help me. Why has God abandoned me to suffer this shame? I did everything He asked me to do.



Hello Dear Patient Reader ;)

So I was browsing blogsville when I came across some stories. They claim to be true life stories and the writers actually need our advice. I couldnt resist but bring some of them to them to my blog so readers who have gone though a similar experience can play agony aunt and give them solutions. Or you can even give them some tough love as well. They will be published from time to time in a series titled 'HELP', this is the first part.

By my thinking any one of us can be silently going through terrible ordeals in our lives thinking we are alone, and believing there is no solution, no way out, well there is a way out! All you need to do is speak out or write anonymously, someone somewhere will respond to you. You are never alone, certainly not in blogsville.

So here is one of the stories, names adjusted for obvious reasons.

I am in my late 40s. I have never been married and still waiting on God to give me the man of my dreams. I have always been a good Christian, one that kept all the doctrines and did nothing without consulting my pastors. I became born again when I was in secondary school. My parents attend Catholic Church. Though they tried to dissuade me from joining my church, they soon gave up on my ways and me. They did to have peace at home as I was as determined too to make life difficult for them.



There is nothing I do without the express permission of my pastors to the irritations of my parents who saw it as another form of idolatry. From as far as I can remember, no man came my way without me first seeking the approval of my pastor.





Strangely, none of the men was ever approved as being the right man for me. After a while, when all my friends were all almost married, my mother called me aside to plead with me to get married and stop pegging my decision on who is right or wrong on the recommendations of my pastors.



I ignored her because she has always been my major antagonist when it comes to religious matters. I had to leave home when the last of my sisters got married. Being the first daughter and child of the family, my mother told me she couldn’t live with me any longer under the same roof. And that she wanted her husband to herself since I have refused everyman who came my way.



At the time I left five years ago, the number of men asking for my hand in marriage had almost disappeared entirely. Many who saw me assumed I was married with children. The few that came my way were either out to mock me or looking for a woman to sleep with.



I became not just desperate but afraid that I might end up without a husband. As I write my youngest sister has two children already. My immediate sister’s two children are already in the university. The rest of my siblings are not only married but are parents. These days, I hate going home because they all look at me with scorn.



Since last year, not even the wayward ones have come my way to even look at the market I am selling. The worst thing now is that my menses have stopped flowing.



The most painful thing now is that all the pastors who once encouraged me are now urging me to lower my standards and marry any man before I completely lose out. At 49, what choices do I have? I went for medical examinations when I discovered my menses had stopped only to be told by the doctor after examination that I was entering menopause.



Help me , because I feel suicidal. I want children, husband like every other woman, but here I am, having given God everything I have without a man or child to call my own. I am looking older than my age because of all the frustrations.



Please help me. Why has God abandoned me to suffer this shame? I did everything He asked me to do.

Well people, what do you think about this situation? she needs your opinions now, a sign or word to touch her life. :-( Thanks in advance.
Mena
P.s: These sort of stories will be published from time to time in a series titled 'HELP', this is the first part.

THE STYLISH & VERSATILE BLOGGER AWARDS.........January 12th.

I have been given an award by a dear follower and someone I admire for her dedication, her style, her stories, her life. Want to read some nitty gritty encounters of the housewife type,just click the one and only Ibhade. Seriously Ibhade, wowowow, thats nice and thoughtful of you. I'm touched and very grateful.

According to the rules, i should say 7 things about myself;





1. I love to plan so much, its uncanny..infact its borderline OCD!

2. I love romantic depiction in words and sometimes in pictures. I think the lyrics to this song "All I'll Ever Ask" describes me to the 'T' but have never been in love with anyone.

3. I write... a lot but dont publish as much because I am still at a dilemma on what aspects of my life I can blog about, without hurting anyone.

4. Horror movies are my thing, but they have recently become a borefest, forcing me to the psychological drama genre as a substitute. I love investigative, whodunnit like movies..i.e criminal minds, house, csi..but 'The Pinky and the brain' That is the cream of the crop. :))

5. I tend to keep cards

6. I am better at recalling faces of people than recalling names, it only takes the one moment I set my eyes on them.

7. I am very opinionated and I get passionate about issues I care about. Now this streak was largely encouraged by my father, a very traditional man, stoic on gender roles
...so go figure!

Also, am expected to give the award to 15 other bloggers

1} Nutty Jay because she is awesome, intelligent, frank about issues, is versatile and stylish and one of the first to encourage me start a blog and to begin by transferring my notes from facebook to blogspot!

2} Mamuje because her topics are exotic, versatile, served with attitude.

3}Anne Dickens because after Ibhade, she is the next person whose topics are so different to mine and very interesting as well. Think am exaggerating? Just click on her name then..


4}Flourishing Florida because I enjoy her style

5} Wise Sage: Her thoughts are very interesting and her style is unique

6}Pamela: Her blogs were on afrocentric issues. Her very last blog was her journey with maintaining her natural hair. Well I nominate her because she has abandoned her blog and I want her back sharpish!

7}Seun: same reason as Pamela, only Seun dealt with politics and religion. He is a very cerebral writer and we need him back

8}iphyigbogurl same reason as Seun and Pamela!


9}ZOE KIDS: because I would be honored if you guys 'like' the cause on facebook. It is doing remarkable things for disadvantaged kids

10}Marilyn: A very cerebral, capable blogger!

11}Seshe her blog IS stylish

12}Henry though I have just started following him, his topics are awesome!

13}Myne because she is gifted,talented, creative and disciplined. (Has actually published in print!)

14}A Jaye for his exciting movie blogs!

15} Linda Ikeji: The cat fights alone na die!

Other additions
16} Roundsquared Chumolette : Prolific writer and a lecturer to boot! Never a dull moment in this blog

17}Mustard Seed: Lecturer like Roundsquared, she is also a passionate activist, a lecturer, a humanitarian, a volunteer, practically a saint. Sadly like Seun, Pamela and Iphy she has strayed and we miss her and want her back!

18} Amanda Martin :Because her blogs are so vesatile, it touches on current events both on a local and international scale and because her blog is stylishly done.

19} Duchess : Because I admire her humour, her inner strength, and her relentless work. Check her blog out now now.

1}Thank the blogger that gave you the award.

2}Then list 7 things about yourself.

3}Give out the same awards to 15 other bloggers.

4}Then contact them.

Am off to contact them.

P.S: Please if you dont see your name and you are upset, I give you full permission to cuss me out! Because if na me, I will do the same oh. ehen :)

P.P.S: If you took p.s seriously, do be gentle. :P

Thoughts on 'opinions' and the deceptive nature of Perception..

So I was reading through an article on the financial times and I found myself at odds with a particular company's share analysis, particular its forecasting, so much so that I wanted to write in to give my opinion on that same article. This does not mean that the original intepretation of the data was completely wrong, neither does it mean that I am wrong, it just means that there are several intepretation of events.



I think there is room for all perspectives, I am not going to say that I am right and others are wrong. My opinion is just that, mine and based on my interpretation of what I feel, hear, see and think. I have no problem whatsoever with anyone who disagrees with me. Infact I welcome dissenting views, and try to respect the opinions if others and at the same time am not afraid to state my own.



We are all individuals with our own view of the world and our own sense of what we like and dislike. Our interpretations are based on very personal experiences, tastes, interpretations of what we see. If we all agreed we would be no different to sheeples!



As I grow older, I find myself almost seeking out views that are different to my own. I believe that in interaction, knowledge is shared and a form of enlightenment is achieved. I never mistake opinions for facts no matter how eloquent the bearer of said opinion is, I also question everything, a trait of mine, that has earned me the label of 'opinionated'. Oh well...maybe I am.



Why do I question everything? Well one reason is the eternal search for enlightenment and another is because of the power of perception.



Ah perception is a deceptive device of the brain, how we interpret data depends on our life experiences to date, our hopes, bias , and what we want to believe/hope to be true. We interpret what we take in with our senses according to what memories,hopes, desires or opinions we previously held. We look and observe with either a negative or positive filter, but filter we do.What does not fit the ideal picture is discarded or moulded to fit.In other words we crop positively or negatively to fit with what ever opinion we previously held or with what we want to believe.



Perception is not objective and does not give a true picture.Sometime we may change our perception to a more negative/positive one. Another thing is that emotion and affection affect perception and can warp it, in the form of denial.Like a man with an abusive beautiful woman who thinks his friends and family are wrong or jealous of his mate.



Very few can think outside the box of perception and be totally objective, there is almost always an agenda. So your truths may be misconceptions to me and visa versa hence the need for a critical debate. 

Today, I went to the woods to have one last talk with God, I wanted to quit my life.

Today I DECIDED TO QUIT
my relationship, my career,my spirituality... Nothing seemed to be working...I wanted to quit my life.
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.
"God", I asked, "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"
His answer surprised me...
"Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"
"Yes", I replied.
"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them.
I gave them light.
I gave them water.
The fern quickly grew from the earth.
Its brilliant green covered the floor.
Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.
In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.
And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. He said.
"In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.
But I would not quit.
In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. I would
not quit." He said.
"Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared
to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant...But just 6
months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.
It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.
I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."
He asked me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots".
"I would not quit on the bamboo.
I will never quit on you."
"Don't compare yourself to others."
He said.
"The bamboo had a different Purpose than the fern.
Yet they both make the forest beautiful."
Your time will come", God said to me.
"You will rise high"
"How high should I rise?"
I asked.
"How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.
"As high as it can?" I questioned.
"Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."
I left the forest and brought back this story.
I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you.
Never, Never, Never Give up.
For Prayer is not an option but an opportunity.
Don't tell the Lord how big the problem is,
tell the problem how Great the Lord is!

Heavens door open this morning, God asked me...
"My CHILD, what can I do for you?"
And I said, "Daddy, please protect and bless the one reading this message."
God smiled and answered, "Request granted."


This message is now in your hands, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!